


Till We Have Hearts

by MajesticOceanWaves



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Blood, Body Dysphoria, Body Horror, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dark Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Dissociation, Drama, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love Again, Fluff, Healing, Love, Making Out, Marriage, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Post-Canon, Reconciliation, Romance, Royalty, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Touch-Starved, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2020-09-20 13:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 210,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajesticOceanWaves/pseuds/MajesticOceanWaves
Summary: To bring peace to the worlds, Sora gives up his light and seals a great darkness within himself. The next thing Kairi knows, she wakes up on a new world where everyone calls him “king.” While their friends search for a way to bring the two of them home, it’s up to her to help Sora regain what he has lost.





	1. The New King

The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes. The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, and Kairi’s light was the brightest of them all. 

Maybe that was why she had ended up here, in this cold and dark place. Her eyes flickered open, and she groaned and cradled her head. It hurt terribly. Her limbs ached, too. But those were the least of her worries. There was a great darkness here with her in this endless void.

She sat up, and her skin was glowing with a faint light. Had she just used her powers? She glanced to her right, and what she saw nearby made her worst fears come true.

Sora was here too, facing away from her. He was the darkness, and it radiated off of his back in black wisps of smoke. Just as light came from her, the darkness poured out of him. Their enemy was nowhere to be found. Neither were their friends.

“Where is everybody?” she asked, looking to the left and right for them in this silent realm. “Where’s Riku? Where’s—”

“It’s over, Kairi.”

His voice sounded different. Lower. Weary. Hopeless_. _Sora had never sounded so hopeless before.

She struggled to her feet. “Sora, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“We won.”

He turned to face her, and his eyes weren’t their beautiful blue anymore. They were a haunted yellow, and he moved so she could see what he’d been hiding: the big black box that had caused all this trouble in the first place. She gasped as she saw it was sealed tight and bound in chains with big red locks holding them in place.

“It’s sealed again? But how?!”

“Doesn’t matter. The worlds are safe.” He gripped one of the handles and lifted it with a grunt.

“What happened to you?” she asked as her stomach did flips. “What did you do?”

“What had to be done.” He summoned his Keyblade, and it looked horrible. All fractured and even broken in a few places. It had lost its shine, too. If it weren’t for the shape, it wouldn’t even look like the Kingdom Key. 

He pointed it above him, opening up a portal full of colorful swirling light. “Goodbye, Kairi.”

She ran towards him. “Sora—”

There was a bright light and a blast of energy that sent her hurtling backwards, and then it all went dark.

* * *

She dreamed of Sora, of his soul cloaked in darkness, his heart fractured and broken like his Keyblade.

She could see him now, trapped inside a layer of darkness so thick not even she could penetrate it. It oozed out from all around him, forming a shallow, inky black pool.

Taking a deep breath, she waded into it, its icy waves lapping against her skin. She reached out and touched the walls of his prison, and after a few moments, she could make out the vague outline of his hand on the other side.

“Kairi,” came his voice, so weak and tired. 

“Sora!” She pounded her fist against the wall. The cold seeped into her skin, but she hardly noticed. “What happened? How did we defeat the Master of Masters? How did you seal the box?”

“It’s over for me,” was all he said. “You have to leave. Please, go home.”

“No, I won’t! I won’t abandon you again!”

She braced herself to break through the darkness with her light when the scene before her morphed into a new one. She was back on Destiny Islands, back on the Play Island. The sun shone bright overhead just like it always did. And someone else was here with her, someone very dear.

“Riku!” She ran to him and tried to hug him, but at the last possible second skittered to a halt because she could make out a shimmering barrier standing between them.

“Kairi, you have to save him,” Riku said, his voice sounding like it was coming from far away. 

“I know. I tried to earlier, but—”

Riku shook his head. “It’s okay. Just find him and stay with him. We’re searching for a way to get the two of you out of there.”

She nodded. “I don’t know what happened, but I’ll do my best.”

Her memories leading up to all of this were foggy. She couldn’t remember. Try as she might, the memories were just not there. But she’d do whatever it would take to save him.

When she finally awoke, there was this horrible aching throughout her body, and her head throbbed. She tried to open her eyes, but it was too bright. Who was shining the sun in her face?

“Oh, look who’s finally decided to wake up!”

Ugh. The voice was loud, way too loud. It wasn’t someone she recognized, either.

“Now, now, Cornelia, give her some space,” came another voice.

“Unnnngh… where… am I?”

She forced her eyes all the way open to see two women peering down at her. Both of them wore simple dresses with aprons, their hair pulled back in buns.

“Hello there, dearie,” one of them said, the one with black hair and sparkling eyes. Cornelia.

“We’re glad you’re finally awake,” the other woman said, her hair brown and her eyes blue. “We were beginning to worry. Three straight days of sleeping after we found you.”

“I… slept for three days?”

“Yes,” Cornelia said. “My sister Julia here found you out cold on the street on her way home from work one evening.”

“Oh. Well… thank you for taking care of me.”

Kairi blinked and sat up. The room was simple but cozy. She was lying on a bed with a quilt comforter, and there was a fireplace in the room with a nice hearty fire going. What world was this? Probably wouldn’t be able to tell unless—

“May I ask where I am?”

“Why, Mare Caelestis.”

“Mare… Caelestis?” Kairi repeated, sounding the name out as best she could. She hadn't heard of it before. Of course, that hardly meant anything. There were countless worlds out there, and she’d only been to a few dozen of them.

“That’s right,” Julia said. 

Kairi was about to ask another question when her stomach rumbled. Loudly. The two sisters gave her a sympathetic look.

“After all that sleeping, you have to be starving,” Cornelia said. “I’ll fix you somethin’ to eat.”

Cornelia left the room, leaving Julia behind. She stood and checked on the fire, adding another log to make sure it stayed bright and warm.

“What’s your name, miss?” she asked.

“Kairi. My name’s Kairi.”

She caught a glimpse of her face in the small mirror on the wall. She looked thinner than the last time she’d seen herself. Weaker. A little haggard, too, her hair poking up every which way.

“Kairi. That’s a lovely name.”

“Thank you.”

Julia stood and brushed flecks of wood off her skirt. “Forgive me for prying, Kairi, but how did you come to be passed out in the street when I found you?”

“I… it’s a long story, but I was looking for… a friend. He and I got separated.”

That was true enough, at least.

“Lost your friend, have you? Well, maybe Cornelia and I can help you find him.”

“I’d appreciate that very much,” Kairi said.

Julia just grinned at that. “Listen to you, all polite-like. If I didn’t know better I’d say you were a princess, but there’s only one ruler on the throne.”

So the world she was on had a ruler of some sort. She filed that information away for future use. Any sort of tidbits she could gather would help. Without a Gummi Ship, she couldn’t really get anywhere, and—

Her hand slid into her pocket. Her Gummiphone wasn’t there. She checked her other pocket. It wasn’t there, either.

“Julia, did you see if I had anything in my pockets when you found me?”

“Sorry, love, but no. All you had were the clothes on your back.” She went over to the dresser in the corner and started pulling things out. “Speaking of which, I’m sure you’d like a fresh change of clothes.”

“That would be lovely, thank you,” she said as she took the clothes from Julia. They looked like they would be a bit big, but they would do for now.

What she wouldn’t give for a hot shower. Not having any way to contact Sora directly was going to set her back significantly, and she needed time to herself to think. Plus, her body’s natural musk mixed with sweat and dirt and no shower for at least three days meant she was starting to smell.

“Julia, do you have any place I could wash myself?”

“Yes, of course. We have a shower and a bath, whichever you’d like.”

She led the way to the bathroom and showed Kairi how to work the faucet and the shower head, then left her alone. Within minutes, Kairi was soaking in the warm water of the tub. She closed her eyes and sighed. She was lucky that people as kind as Julia and Cornelia had found her.

Her body was weak right now though. She needed time to regain her strength, and she needed to figure out where she was. The sooner she found any sort of clues as to Sora’s whereabouts, the better. 

Her eyes fluttered open. The walls of the bathroom had a few paintings hanging on them, maybe places from this world? One of them was of a big black and gold castle. Another one was of a sparkling blue sea. And the third one was of a street lined with charming little houses with whitewashed walls, blue roofs, and gold awning.

Maybe this was a castle town? Or a world with a castle? It would make sense. Julia had said there was a ruler.

As she climbed out of the bathtub after her bath, she caught a glimpse of her body in the mirror and sighed. Those bruises didn’t look good. Hopefully they would heal soon. She could try using magic, but… best to save her strength. No need to waste it on injuries that would heal easily enough on their own.

She slipped on the clothes Julia had given her, a simple blue dress with bloomers. There was a set of slippers to go along with them, and a white apron finished the look. The clothes hung loosely off her body, but they would have to do for now. She grabbed her old clothes to see if she couldn’t get them cleaned somehow. She wouldn’t be able to fight in her current clothes, and her old clothes were specially designed for combat and to enhance her magic.

Cornelia had a piping hot bowl of porridge waiting for her, and the three of them ate breakfast together in the kitchen. Kairi made light conversation with them, trying to steer them towards giving her information that could be of use. By the time breakfast was over, she’d confirmed the following: Cornelia was a seamstress and Julia a merchant down by the wharves, the world’s industry seemed to depend heavily on the sea, and this was indeed a castle town. 

The three of them were washing dishes and storing the leftover food when Cornelia spoke up.

“Now dearie, I know you’re probably still tired, but there is a special parade today we were planning on goin’ to.”

Kairi perked up at this. “A parade?”

Anything she could glean about this world’s culture and customs would be helpful. And parades meant lots and lots of people to talk to. It was the perfect opportunity.

“Yes,” Julia said. “Now if you’d prefer to stay here and rest—”

“No, I’d like to go.”

Tired or not, weak or not, she had to go. She had to continue her search.

“Good,” Julia said. “It’ll do you some good to get some fresh air.”

They spent the next half hour or so getting ready. Each of them packed a little basket with sandwiches, fruit slices, and cold tea for lunch, and Julia gave Kairi a shawl.

“Here, take this. It’s still nice outside during the day, but it does get a bit chilly at night.”

So it was autumn, then. This world must have four seasons.

“I’m afraid I don’t have any munny,” Kairi confessed. It was all gone along with her Gummiphone.

“Oh, that’s alright, dearie,” Cornelia said. “We’ll take care of you till you can get back on your feet.”

Kairi just stared at the two of them. Whatever had she done to deserve such kindness from people she’d never met?

“Julia, Cornelia, thank you.” 

“Our pleasure, love,” Julia said. “Now let’s get to that parade.”

Kairi put the shawl on the same way Julia was putting hers on, covering her hair with the ends wrapped around her shoulders. Whatever this world’s customs were, she wanted to make sure she followed them. She couldn’t let anyone know she wasn’t from here.

As they emerged from the little house, Kairi had to shield her eyes for a moment. It was very bright outside. Either that or her eyes weren’t used to natural light anymore. When her eyes had adjusted, she could see that they were on a street very similar to the one in the painting. The houses were white with blue domes and gold awning, and the cobblestone streets were pristine. There was a hint of the sea in the cool autumn breeze. They must be close to the ocean.

And all along the street were decorations of some sort, probably for the parade. Colorful banners had been hung from every house, and a long line of lanterns had been strung up, too. Maybe the parade was part of a larger festival?

No one was really around, but that wasn’t surprising. They’d probably all gone to the festival. Kairi followed after Julia and Cornelia, trying to take it all in. The town seemed like it was built on some sort of grid; the streets were fairly straight, and as they continued along, sounds that had been faint before grew louder and louder. Laughter and music and clapping all mixed together, bringing back memories of the festivals back home on Destiny Islands.

They turned a corner, and this street was different. It was lined with stall after stall, each selling its own food or toy or knick-knack. The merchants called out their wares, only 500 munny, would the young lady like to try a candied orange on a stick?

Cornelia smiled and placed some munny in her palm. “Get enough for all three of us,” she said with a wink.

A few minutes and a few stall visits later, and Kairi was biting into the candied orange and holding another several goodies in her hands. Mmmm, it tasted good. This festival alone had enough good food to help her regain her lost weight and then some. 

They made their way through the stalls towards the town square, and as they did, the number of people kept growing and growing. Kairi spotted what looked to be guards helping direct people and control traffic, and parts of the streets were sectioned off, probably for the parade. She was beginning to wonder whether there were even still spots left to see the parade from when a woman with curly dark hair called Julia and Cornelia’s names.

“Livia!” Julia cried as the three of them made their way over to where Livia and some other people were sprawled on a picnic blanket with a good view of the street.

“There you two are!” She craned her neck to see behind them. “And is that the young lady you’ve told us about? She’s finally awake!”

Kairi hesitated. Should she bow her head? Curtsy? Shake their hands?

In the end, she went with a curtsy. “Hello, my name’s Kairi.”

Livia’s face broke into a huge smile. “Look at you, love! You’re like a proper princess, you know that?”

Kairi brought her hand to her mouth and giggled at that. She was a princess of sorts, just not that sort of princess. 

“You even laugh like a princess,” Livia said, then stuck out her hand. “The name’s Livia, nice to meet you.” She indicated the man sitting next to her. “And this here is my husband Aulus.”

“Nice to meet you, Kairi,” Aulus said as he shook her hand. His voice was calm, soothing, and he smiled at his wife as she told Kairi everyone’s names and jobs and how they’d all met and wasn’t it lovely that the weather was so nice and they could all be here today? 

Livia climbed into Aulus’s lap, and he wrapped his arms around her. She just grinned and patted the spot next to them. “Here, Kairi, there’s a vacant spot now. Sit next to us!”

Kairi did after she made sure Julia and Cornelia had places to sit, too, grateful again she’d been lucky enough to stumble her way into such a nice group of people. She might not know where Sora was yet, but she was already making new friends, and that would make all the difference.

Their little group chatted some more, light small talk that Kairi used to try to gather more information about where she was. In the distance she could make out the castle, and it looked the same as it had in the painting: black and gold.

Then a loud fanfare sounded, and Livia squealed and squeezed Aulus’s hand. “It’s starting!”

Kairi craned her neck to try to see. Sure enough, a few moments later, she could make out a bunch of musicians marching towards them, playing trumpets and horns and flutes and drums and some other instruments Kairi didn’t know the names of. They were dressed in black and gold, the same colors as the castle. That couldn’t be a coincidence.

“So,” Kairi said loudly, trying to make herself heard over the music. “What’s this parade for again?”

“The Autumn Festival,” Livia shouted back. “But this year’s special.”

“Why is that?”

“The new king’s gonna be in it! His coronation was last week, and this’ll be his first public appearance!”

Ohhhhhhh. Maybe that was why it was so crowded. Several of Livia’s friends giggled, and Kairi turned to glance at them, not sure why they were—

“A lot of women think the new king is quite handsome,” Livia explained, then tilted her head back and kissed Aulus. “But if you ask me, my Aulus is much better looking. The new king’s just too pretty for my tastes.”

He sounded young, then, if he was new and “pretty,” as Livia had described him. Maybe in his early twenties? He’d be around her age, then. Maybe he’d make a good ally if she could meet him and offer her services as a knight and Keyblade wielder. 

Well, she’d see him soon enough. Might as well enjoy the parade until then. After the musicians came a group of dancers. Everyone clapped along to provide the rhythm for their dance, which involved a lot of kicks and twirls and tricks. Then came a group of kids who sang a song about the sea, and after that was another group of musicians.

Kairi gathered what information she could from all this, trying to get a feel for what the world was like, what sorts of customs it had, what its people valued. She was engrossed in trying to connect a song about the merchants on the wharves to what the town’s major exports might be when there was another loud fanfare.

“This is it!” Livia cried. 

Kairi craned her neck to get a better view. There were a bunch of guards marching towards them now, wearing black and gold uniforms. After them came more guards carrying banners, this time on horseback. And behind them, riding on a chestnut-colored horse and holding himself very regally, was the king. 

Kairi rose to her feet, her shawl slipping off her head and shoulders and falling to the ground. The king wore a black and gold uniform that was even more elaborate than the ones the guards wore. There was a crown perched on his spiky hair, and when his golden eyes met hers, her heart pounded so loudly it was a wonder it didn’t burst out of her chest.

She knew who the king was. She knew him very, very well. 

“Sora?”


	2. The Princess and the Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick heads up: there's a mention of blood in this chapter, because Sora punches a mirror (it makes sense in context).

All the other people and festivities melted away. It was just her and Sora, staring at each other, he from up on his horse and her from the ground below.

His eyes were wide as he pulled back on the reins to get the horse to stop. “Kairi?”

She took a step towards him. “You’re okay.”

More than okay, from the looks of it. He was king of this world. How—

Sora glanced at something or someone behind her, and the spell was broken. He cleared his throat and nodded at her, coldly, stiffly.

“Miss Kairi, it’s a pleasure to see you again. Thank you for giving my horse an apple earlier. She enjoyed it very much, and it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

Kairi felt like he’d just punched her in the gut. Now he was pretending he didn’t even know her? That they’d just met earlier today?

She could practically feel the glares being burned into the back of her skull from jealous people, too. Great.

Before she could say anything, Sora looked up and addressed the entire crowd. “Thank you, everyone, for coming out to the festival today,” he called. “I’m glad to see you face-to-face again.”

The crowd cheered loudly at that, and Kairi was all but forgotten as Sora urged his horse forward again and greeted even more people.

“Sora, wait!” she cried, climbing over the rope and posts that had blocked off the road. “I need to speak to you!”

Sora ignored her, and instead a few guards grabbed her and dragged her back to the sidelines. 

“You will address the new king as ‘Your Majesty,’ ‘Sir,’ or ‘Sire,’” one of them said, regarding her with a cold look. “Peasant.”

She resisted the urge to summon her Keyblade and smack some sense into this idiot. He had no idea who he was really talking to.

Sora stopped again and turned his horse around. “You will not address my subjects that way,” he said, glaring down at the guard in a way that was truly chilling. Even if the guard couldn’t sense it, Kairi could. She could sense the darkness welling up within Sora and threatening to spill out and engulf them all.

“A-apologies, Sire,” the guard said, sweat dripping down his face. “She was being disruptive.”

“Even if she was, there is no reason to treat her like she is lesser than you. For all you know she could be a princess in disguise.”

“Y-yes, Sire.”

“I’m sorry, Janus, but until you can pull it together, I’m going to have to ask Octavius to take your position as head of the royal guard. You are now demoted to being a regular guard. Octavius, congratulations. You’ve just been promoted.”

The man who must’ve been Octavius shrugged and changed places with a sulking Janus. He carried himself with a relaxed but assured air, and Kairi liked him already. His long golden hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and his green eyes had a mischievous glint in them.

“And what I said goes for everyone,” Sora said, his voice icy as he addressed the crowd again. “I don’t want any of you acting like you’re better than everyone else. Treat each other the way you would want to be treated.” He paused and looked at Kairi again. “It’s not what’s on the outside that matters. It’s what’s in your heart that counts.”

Then he was off again, leaving Kairi to wonder what exactly he meant by that. If she thought the crowd had loved him before, they absolutely adored him now. They were cheering and chanting his name, over and over again.

He was off to a good start to his reign, that was for sure.

“Kairi!” Livia said, grabbing Kairi by the arm. “You didn’t tell me you’d met the king!”

“Well, I… I did.” 

“You got to speak with His Majesty King Sora, ruler of this realm and all the worlds in it?”

Guess that settled it then, they knew other worlds existed. At least she wouldn’t have to keep that a secret. Should she tell them the truth, or should she play along with Sora’s story?

“Is he the friend you were talking about?” Julia asked. “The one you were searching for?”

So Julia suspected. In the end, Kairi decided to go with the truth. “Yes, actually. We grew up on the same world. We got separated after a battle on another world, and I woke up here.”

“But dearie,” Cornelia said, “the king became our new ruler by right when he saved us. He sealed the great darkness, the evil that had plagued the worlds, within himself, and brought peace to every realm. Were you there for that?”

Kairi stared at her. Was that why… his Keyblade looked the way it did? And why he had so much darkness inside of him?

“Maybe? I’m afraid my memory is a little…”

Try as she might, she couldn’t recall the chain of events that had led to her waking up and seeing Sora before getting blasted onto this world.

“Hmmm, His Majesty has made no mention of you before today,” Livia said. “Granted, he’s only been here for a short while. But surely he would have said something if you were really his friend and he was looking for you?”

Kairi bristled at Livia’s words, but she had a good point. If Sora didn’t back her up on this, who was going to believe her?

“After his sacrifice,” Julia explained, “he was brought here, to Kingdom Hearts. Our legends state our next ruler would come to us bearing a black box containing the World’s hope. That was the sign we needed, and we made him our new king. We’d been without one for ages, and now we finally have one again.”

That was all well and good, but what really piqued Kairi’s interest was the fact that she was now apparently in Kingdom Hearts, plus the talk about the box. The very same box that, when opened, had led to the mass chaos she and Sora and their friends had to put a stop to. And now it was shut and had the World’s hope in it, if Julia was right. But how had Sora put it in there, exactly? Her head hurt when she tried to think about it, her memories jamming like a recording full of static.

Livia patted her sympathetically. “Now, love, I understand wanting to pretend you know the king well, but—”

“I’m not pretending!” Kairi said, shrugging away from her. “I know him! We grew up on Destiny Islands together!”

Livia exchanged glances with the other women. “Destiny Islands? That backwater little place?” She gave Kairi a smile, but something about that smile made Kairi want to smack her. “Be glad you’re away from there and get to be here at the center of the universe instead,” she said, gesturing to the festivities going on around them.

Aulus placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Livia, that’s enough. Remember what the king said.”

Livia put her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, Kairi, I didn’t mean to—”

Enough. Kairi had had enough. First she’d found out that something had happened to her memories, then she’d found out something had happened to Sora, then he’d pretended not to know her, and now this. Now someone was insulting her home, and it was too much.

Before she could say anything, though, Julia swooped in.

“There now, Kairi, you must be exhausted. You’re still recovering. Time to get you home.”

She let Julia lead her away with Cornelia fussing over her alongside. Everything turned into one big blur as she fought back tears.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” she said once they were on the street where their little house was. 

“It’s a hard story to believe, dearie,” Cornelia said. “The king mentioned nothing about you, and his story is as likely a one as yours. More likely, in fact.”

“But it’s the truth. I don’t know what’s happened, but it’s the truth.”

“There now, why don’t we get you into bed with a nice cup of tea,” Julia soothed.

Kairi was too tired and overwhelmed to argue. They got her into bed and fixed her a cup of tea and closed the door, and that was when the tears came.

Alone on a strange new world where everyone knew what was going on but her. The one person she did know pretended not to know her, and he was the key to everything.

She had to see him again. Had to talk to him. If it meant she had to break into the castle to do it, she would. Once she’d gotten some more rest, she’d figure out a way to do it.

But for now, sleep. All the plotting could come later on.

* * *

Sora closed the door to his bedroom and stared at the floor-length mirror in the corner. The carving on its wooden frame was intricate, just like the rest of the furniture in this room. A monster with dead yellow eyes and darkness wafting off of it stared back at him, matching him move for move, word for word.

“Kairi’s here?” it said. “But how? She should be back in the Realm of Light.”

He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. Even his voice sounded hideous now. Cold and flat and lifeless.

He had to get Kairi home. He’d take her there himself, but a creature like him couldn’t return to the Realm of Light. There wasn’t any light left inside his heart. Just the darkness sealed deep within him, gnawing away at his insides, clawing away at his shredded heart. 

Each new day had been agony. Every hour had been hell. Fighting to keep the evil within him contained. Doing his best to be the ruler these people deserved. Striving to keep everyone safe and happy. All while feeling this thing inside him that hated the light more than anything, that hated him more than anything, trying to devour him from the inside out. 

And then he’d seen Kairi. He’d seen Kairi, and the darkness inside him had screamed. Panicked. She was light. She was good. And it hated that. It hated the spark that had ignited in his heart just from seeing her again. 

He sat on his king-sized bed and cradled his head in his hands. Would it be selfish? Would it be selfish to want to see her again? He was a danger to everyone around him, especially her. The evil thing inside of him hated her even more than it hated him. She was better off going home. And yet, she’d stayed. Why?

Was it possible that…

No. No way she still… 

But he was desperate, and she might be able to help. 

No, he couldn’t let her help. The sooner she got away from him, the better.

When he looked in the mirror again, the monster was sad. “Stay away from me. Please,” it begged. But it knew Kairi was stubborn and it knew she would come for it.

Too bad it was so hideous. Not even a Princess of Heart could save it now. 

The spark was a lie. The spark was only there to hurt him. So he let it be extinguished. He let the flickering hope it brought with it be snuffed out.

There. Hope was dangerous. Hope was deadly. He was better off without it. Kairi could try as much as she wanted, but there was no saving him. 

* * *

A full night’s rest and then some did wonders for Kairi’s clarity of mind. She woke up feeling a little better about everything, too, enough to start planning what to do next, anyway. However things had been before, they weren’t going back to the way they were, and there was no use moping over that. She had to think and then act.

She mulled over her options as she helped Julia and Cornelia make dinner, a hearty beef stew with carrots and potatoes. She was on chopping duty, and as the steady thumping of the knife in her hand sliced through the vegetables, she thought about using her Keyblade to get into the castle.

She _ could _just fight her way through whatever opposition stood in her way. But her alone against all of Sora’s guards and potentially Sora himself—

Not a good idea. Especially since she wasn’t at full strength. No need to make a bunch of enemies here, either.

Sneaking in was another option, but she didn’t know the layout of the castle. She might have to spend days, even weeks, snooping around to get an idea of how best to enter it, and she might arouse suspicion by doing that.

No, her best bet was to be allowed in somehow. To enter with Sora’s permission, or if not his permission, the permission of whoever oversaw that sort of thing. In fact, it was probably better if he didn’t know she was in the castle until they were face-to-face. She didn’t want him stopping her before she even had a chance to talk to him.

As they settled in at the table that evening and slurped the tasty stew, Kairi decided it was time to implement the next phase of her plan.

“Julia, Cornelia, I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But I feel like I’m infringing on your kindness at this point. I want to find work so that I can help contribute to your living expenses, at least until I can find a place of my own.”

Julia’s expression softened. “Well, Kairi, you know you’re always welcome in our home.”

“Yes, of course. I just want to help somehow. Do you know any places that are looking for workers?”

With any luck, Julia and Cornelia might know about ways she might be able to work at the castle.

“Well, there are always places down by the wharves that are looking for extra help,” Julia said as she dabbed her mouth with her napkin. “My shop isn’t hiring right now, but there are some that are.”

“Or if the wharves aren’t to your fancy, you can always come to work in my shop,” Cornelia said. “If you know how to sew, we could use an extra hand this time of year.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you knew if there are any openings at the castle.”

The two sisters exchanged glances. 

“Hoping to get another glimpse at the king, are we?” Julia asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Mmmm, it’s more like… I’ve always wanted to work at a castle. My home world doesn’t have one.” 

Lies, but no need to complicate matters further by telling them she was actually from Radiant Garden, especially when she considered Destiny Islands her home now anyway.

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, trust me,” Cornelia said before taking another swig of her drink, freshly-squeezed juice from the same kind of orange that had been at the festival. 

“Have you worked there before?” Kairi asked.

“I did. Was a seamstress for one of the noble ladies until she got tired of me and threw me out for the next new thing.”

“Oh.” 

So that was the sort of attitude the nobility had. No wonder Sora had stopped to call the guard out on it. She would have, too, if she’d had any real power in that situation.

“But it if your heart’s set on it, I’ll see what I can do,” Cornelia said at last. “Still have a friend working there that I could talk to about it.”

“Please,” Kairi said. It was her best chance.

Cornelia just shook her head and grinned. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s goin’ on inside that head of yours, missy. I saw the way you looked at the king yesterday.”

“And everyone saw the way he looked at you,” Julia added with a twinkle in her eye. “You were the talk of the town square this morning when I went to go buy groceries. Maybe you two really do know each other.”

Great. She didn’t want to be infamous, she wanted to be able to slip under the radar. Best to lie low until the gossip died down a little.

At least it didn’t take long for Cornelia to get in touch with her friend, who sent word that the castle was looking for more maids. Sure, it wasn’t the most glamorous job in the world, but Kairi jumped at the chance. In fact, it was better to work a job that meant she was guaranteed to be ignored.

“Have a good first day of work, dearie!” Cornelia called as she shut the door behind her. Julia had already left behind a nice packed lunch for her that Kairi grabbed on her way out. She was dressed in the clothing appropriate for her station now, a long black dress, a white apron, black boots, and her red hair tucked inside a white cap. 

The walk to the castle was nice. The air was a little nippy, as it often was in early fall, but not unpleasantly so. Parents sent their children off to school, then went to their jobs and Kairi along with them. No one paid her particular attention; she was just another employee on her way to work.

When she reached the drawbridge, she paused to take it all in. This was it. The castle stretched out before her in all its splendor. It was mostly black with gold trimmings, fitting, Kairi supposed, for Sora’s current state. A deep moat filled with water surrounded it, guarding it and keeping intruders away. This drawbridge was the only way in or out.

Taking a deep breath, she took a step forward. She was just another townsperson on her way to work. Nothing out of the ordinary.

When she reached the outer portcullis, a large, looming gate that gave off a feeling of foreboding, a guard stopped her. She showed him her papers, and he let her through. The same process happened at the inner portcullis, and then she was inside. 

The castle itself might as well have been a mini town with as many buildings and people as there were inside of it. She couldn’t really see how far around the outer walls went, that was how big this place was. Up ahead was a dark tower surrounded by a stone fortress of sorts. Kairi wondered briefly if this was where Sora lived before going to search for the kitchens where she was supposed to report for work.

“You must be the new maid,” said a tall, shapely woman when Kairi arrived. Her hair was pulled back into a tight knot on top of her head, and she patted her face down with a handkerchief. Kairi could see why. The kitchen was hot and bright from several different meals cooking at once, a little too stuffy for her current clothes.

“Yes, ma’am?” Kairi said as she walked over to the woman. 

“Name’s Priscilla,” the woman said as she stuck out her hand. “I’m the head chef around here, and you’ll be working under me.” She flashed Kairi a grin. “Glad to meet ya.”

Kairi nodded. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Now, Kairi, was it?”

Kairi nodded again.

“This isn’t the kitchen for the whole castle, and thank goodness for that. There’s about two hundred people workin’ over at that one. No, this is His Majesty’s personal kitchen. It serves his dining room and, when he entertains small groups of guests, them as well. We’re up to make his breakfast. Right now he’s got a group of five or so dignitaries visiting from other worlds, so we’ll be makin’ their breakfasts as well.”

“Right,” Kairi said as she set her packed lunch down on one of the counters. “What can I do to help?”

“Glad you asked.”

Soon Kairi was cracking eggs. Lots and lots of eggs. Sora had always really liked eggs, so it made sense. Before long she was scrambling the eggs, and she found herself making them the way she knew he liked them: with cheese and bacon and sausage mixed in, a dash of salt, a dash of pepper, some green onions… 

And, for the finishing touch for his plate, she located a bottle of ketchup in the refrigerator and drew a smiley face on his eggs, just like she always used to. 

“What’s this all about?” Priscilla said as she peered over at Sora’s plate in between dishing out stacks of pancakes.

“Oh, um… it’s a tradition, from my home world.”

“Well, let’s hope the king likes it. It’s too late to make more,” she said as she whisked Sora’s plate away and put it onto a cart along with the others. Another servant, a young man with a nice smiled named Marcus, took the cart from her to deliver to the dining room.

Kairi fiddled with her necklace. The ball was in Sora’s court now. How would he respond?

No time to think of that, though. While Sora might only think about food three times a day, now that she was a kitchen maid, it was her entire life. There were dishes to be cleaned, for one, and as soon as that was done, they had to start on lunch, and when everything was cleaned up from lunch and she’d had her own meal, they had to start prepping dinner...

Her feet ached by the time Marcus came to wheel the carefully prepared steaks away. Priscilla gave her a sympathetic look as she steadied herself against one of the counters. 

“Takes a while to get used to, all the standin’,” she said, mopping her forehead with her handkerchief again. “But you’ve had a good start today. Once the dishes are cleaned and the floor is mopped, you’re free to go home.”

“Thank you.”

Priscilla insisted she take a few of the dinner rolls with her to snack on on her way back, even though she knew there would be a nice dinner waiting for her at home.

“For a job well done,” she said with a smile.

“Priscilla, if it’s okay for me to ask, did the king say anything about breakfast this morning? I just… want to make sure what I did wasn’t out of line.”

“Nope, not a peep from His Majesty. One of his guests liked the way you made the eggs, though. Said to give his compliments to the chef.”

“I see,” Kairi said, deflating a little. “Thank you.”

It was dark outside when Kairi emerged from the kitchens, and the dress that had during her working hours made things hot and stuffy she was now very glad for. Without any sunlight, the chilly autumn air packed a bite.

She said goodnight to the guards and made her way to the drawbridge. She supposed most of the people who worked in the castle also lived there, but home for now was Julia and Cornelia’s little house. 

The streets were different now than they were during the daytime. They were well lit, but not very many people were out and about right now. It was dinnertime or past dinnertime, and most people were already home with their families. The shops in the town square were already closed, though the lights on the second floors where people lived were still on.

She turned into a side street and paused. This one wasn’t as well lit, and there was a faint prickling at the back of her neck. Maybe it had been a mistake to come this way. Maybe she should use a different route.

But when she turned around, out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a brown cloak ducking into a nearby alley. 

Someone was following her? 

Her heart pounded as she sped up her pace, taking strides as long as she could in her current dress. What she wouldn’t give to be dressed in her battle attire right now that allowed for proper movement instead of this stuffy dress that barely—

She tripped over a cobblestone and barely caught herself before she went sprawling. Curse this stupid dress. She picked herself up again and took off running and didn’t stop until she arrived on Julia and Cornelia’s doorstep, panting for breath.

“What was that all about?” she asked, hands shaking as she smoothed out her skirts and tucked her hair back into her cap. Her hands had scrapes now, great. That would make cooking fun. And she must’ve dropped her lunchbox. Curses, she’d have to either go back and get it or accept that it was lost. 

The way her heart was still pounding, she decided to accept that it was lost. 

Julia and Cornelia greeted her with big smiles on their faces as she went inside, only for them to notice the scrapes on her hands and her general frightened state. In an instant they were fussing over her and asking what was wrong. She explained what had happened in a shaky voice as they washed her hands and bandaged them, then sat her down with more food. She shared the dinner rolls with them, which tasted especially good when dipped into the stew.

“Well, we know now it’s not safe for you to be out alone at night,” Julia said. “Maybe it would be better if you stayed at the castle—”

Kairi shook her head. “No. I don’t want to stay there, I want to stay with the two of you. I just… can’t walk alone by myself at night.”

This seemed at odds with her current job, though. She had to work through dinner, and that meant it would always be dark outside once she got off work. At least during the fall and winter. 

“How’s this: you ask around and see if anyone else who works at the castle goes home at night,” Cornelia said as she dipped a chunk of bread into the stew. “Maybe you can walk with them instead.”

“Good idea,” Kairi said as she took a sip of her water.

“And just in case you haven’t found someone by tomorrow, me and Julia will come pick you up after work and walk you home.”

Kairi smiled at that. “Thank you.”

That settled that issue. As she climbed into bed, it hit her how very tired she really was. All that standing and cooking was exhausting.

As she slipped off into sleep, one last question remained in the back of her mind: who had been following her, and why?

* * *

“Idiot!” Sora growled at the monster in the sprawling bathroom mirror. “You scared her.”

“I had to see her, I had to!” the monster cried. “I had to keep her safe, she was all alone and it was dark and someone could’ve—”

Sora slammed his fist into it, and little cracks spread from where his hand made contact. “Excuses. You just want what’s best for you. Did you ever think about what’s best for her?”

“She wants to see me! She sent that message with the eggs and the ketchup—”

Sora pressed his fist into the mirror harder, ignoring the stinging in his hand. “No! What part of ‘stay away from her’ do you not get? It’s the only way to keep her safe. The only way.”

“There is another way,” the monster said. “The spark, remember? What happens if I’m around her long enough for it to turn into a flame?”

“No! That’s too much of a risk for her and you know it.”

“You know how she is,” the monster said. “She’s stubborn and she’s gonna try to do it anyway.”

Sora raised his eyebrow. “And if she does?”

The monster sighed. “I say no.”

Sora leaned back, blood dripping from his fingers now. “Exactly.”

He glanced at his hand and sighed. No light meant no light magic, which meant no healing himself. All he could do was watch his injuries heal the old-fashioned way.

Kairi though… Kairi could heal it.

No. The sooner he found a way to send her home, the better. The last thing she needed in her life right now was a monster like him.

* * *

When Kairi arrived at work the next morning, she had to explain to Priscilla what had happened.

“Tripped and fell on your way home, did you? Sorry to hear that, love. Especially since it sounds like someone was followin’ you. Well, I can ask around and see if there’s anyone who can walk home with you at night from now on.”

“Thank you,” Kairi said, wincing as she pulled out a bowl and a mixing spoon. Yes, she could heal her injuries… but it would immediately arouse suspicion. No one knew who she truly was except for Sora, and maybe it was best to keep it that way.

“Oh, before I forget, you left this behind last night,” Priscilla said. Kairi stared at the item in her hands. It was the same lunchbox she had dropped as she’d fled from her mysterious pursuer. The same lunchbox she thought had been lost. 

Or… had she just imagined it? Maybe she really had forgotten it here.

She thanked Priscilla and took it from her, then carefully examined it. There were a few scratches on it she knew hadn’t been there before.

That meant… someone at the castle must’ve followed her. And not only that, had noticed she’d dropped her lunchbox and wanted to return it to her.

“Sora?” 

Had _ he _been the one following her? But why? Had he gotten her message after all?

“Everything alright, Kairi?” came Priscilla’s voice, and Kairi plastered on a smile.

“Yes, sorry. I’ll get to making the waffles at once.”

She made the waffles the way she knew Sora liked them, too. He’d probably put a whole bunch of syrup on his waffle himself, but she made sure to give him extra whipped cream and more strawberries than blueberries. He’d always liked strawberries more than blueberries.

Priscilla raised her eyebrow at that. “Does His Majesty have a sweet tooth?” she asked as Marcus came to whisk the food away once more.

That night, Julia and Cornelia came to pick her up, and she made arrangements to walk home with a swordsmith named Romulus who worked at the castle forge from then on. He had a shop with his family in the town square, where he worked during the morning and afternoon. He spent the rest of his time working at the castle till he went home again in the evenings—perfect timing.

As she chatted with Julia and Cornelia on the way home, she got that prickling at the back of her neck again. Not wanting to alarm then, she stole a stealthy glance behind her back towards the castle.

It could just be her imagination, but she thought she caught a glimpse of something, or someone, perched on the castle walls near one of the turrets. But then they were gone, a flash of brown cloak the last image lingering in Kairi’s memory.

If it really was Sora, then why… why was he sneaking around like this? Why wouldn’t he just talk to her out in the open?

Was it because he couldn’t? She frowned at that. An all powerful king, and yet he still wasn’t free to talk to her whenever he wanted. Perhaps she’d have to arrange a meeting for the two of them herself, if he wasn’t free to do as he wished.

Maybe that was why he’d followed her the night before. He’d wanted to talk to her alone, but she’d gotten scared and had run away before he got the chance. And now there would be no chance, as she would be accompanied from now on.

A meeting inside the castle, then. She’d have to figure out a way to make it happen. Think of some work duty that could excuse her talking to him.

But no opportunity presented itself the next day or the next. The paths of a kitchen maid and a king just didn’t really cross. Then Marcus became violently ill one morning, and she knew she had to take this chance. The food was all ready; it just needed to be taken to the dining room. 

“I’ll do it,” she said, snatching the cart before anyone could stop her. “Priscilla, please look after Marcus.”

Heart pounding, she wheeled the cart into the dining room. It was the first time she’d been in here. It was a large, open room with windows lining the walls and big golden curtains drawn back from them to let the sunlight in. 

The dining table was long, long enough to fit two dozen people at least, but right now there was only one person sitting at it. Steam rose off his cup of coffee, and he was bent over a pile of paperwork with a bandaged hand resting in his hair. He wore a vest and shirt and slacks, a little more casual than some of the things she’d seen him wearing on this world. Perhaps today would be more laid back.

“Thank you, Marcus,” he said without looking up from his paperwork. His voice was flat and emotionless, his manner cold and aloof. She lifted his plate off the cart and set it in front of him.

“You’re welcome, but I’m not Marcus,” she said softly.

He lost control of his pen, which drew a long, scrawling line across the paper he was trying to sign. 

“Kairi?”

His golden eyes met hers, and she smiled.

“You wanted to talk to me, and I wanted to talk to you. So I figured out a way to do it. Marcus isn’t feeling well right now, so I brought you your food today instead.”

He watched her every movement as she set out the rest of his breakfast. One last touch before she was through—a ketchup smiley face on his eggs—and then it was all ready.

“I’d like to request an audience with the king,” she said as she straightened. “During one of his regular sessions of court.”

He just looked at her for a few moments. “That can be arranged,” he said, slowly, carefully. “Tomorrow’s your day off, and I’ll be holding a session in the morning.”

Kairi raised her eyebrow at that. “The king pays close attention to his kitchen maid’s work schedule?”

“The king considers it his duty to look after all of his subjects,” Sora said, his voice hesitant, measured. Kairi supposed his formality came with the new role.

“Especially young women who walk home alone at night?” she asked, deciding to push her luck just a little further.

Sora’s eyes flickered downwards. “Their safety is of the utmost importance, yes. I... wanted to make sure y—I mean, they, arrive home safely. The streets aren’t always safe at night, as much as I would like them to be.”

So it was as she suspected. Even in this state he was looking out for her.

“Well,” she said, clearing her throat, “this kingdom is fortunate to have a king so loyal to his subjects. I hope you enjoy your breakfast, Sire, and I’ll see you tomorrow in court.”

She wheeled the cart out of the room and let the door close behind her before pausing to collect herself.

This was it, this was her chance. She had to think of everything she wanted to say to Sora before he could stop her or shut her down. All her friends were counting on her to help him. And deep down, she suspected he was, too.

* * *

“Why did I say yes?” Sora said as he flopped onto the bed and sighed. The darkness inside him was seething from his contact with Kairi. Spiking to dangerous levels. Making his chest hurt so badly it felt like someone was squeezing his heart. So why… why had he agreed to see her again?

He stared at his bandaged hand. He still wasn’t any closer to finding a way to send her home, and she was as determined as ever to talk to him. 

Stubborn woman. Stubborn woman full of light and life and goodness. That was why he wanted to talk to her. That was why he’d said yes.

He sat up and stared at the mirror in the corner. Looked at the creature inside staring back at him.

“I could ask her. I could ask her for help.”

Would asking her even help though? Could she even help with something like this? 

Best to just… wait and see what she wanted. Yes, that was what he would do for now. If she was the Kairi he knew, she would offer to help, and then they could figure out things from there.

He glanced at what was resting on her dresser. Her lucky charm, still intact after all this time. So long as she didn’t find it… so long as she didn’t find the black box… maybe it would be okay to talk to her.

* * *

The next morning, Kairi put on the nicest clothing she now owned, a purple dress that reached to her toes. It was hardly the stuff of luxury, especially not with her black boots, but she didn’t want to look like a kitchen maid today.

Underneath the dress was her combat outfit. She hoped it wouldn’t be necessary, but she had to be prepared for the worst. Her hair she wore down for once, not really wanting to mess with an elaborate hairstyle when she could put it into a ponytail easily if need be.

The weather was lovely, and there were a lot more people out and about today for Saturday market, which featured special deals and bargains. According to Julia, there would be sailboat races later on, too, but Kairi marched in the opposite direction of the ocean. She had a mission, and she was determined to see it through.

Unfortunately, so were dozens and dozens of other people. By the time she got to the drawbridge, the area from here to the portcullis was so crowded that she couldn’t make any further progress. 

And Sora was hearing every single one of these people’s complaints or concerns by himself. This was going to last forever. She’d be lucky if he even got to where she was in line by the end of the day.

She made small talk with the people around her as the minutes ticked by. Someone had a coop of chickens they wanted to give the king as a gift, and they squawked and clucked and otherwise made a ruckus.

That was when Kairi realized everyone around her had some sort of gift for the king, and she was empty-handed. Oops. Surely Sora would understand.

As the minutes dragged into an hour, and then two, Kairi wanted to sigh. Her feet were aching and maybe this was a mistake, maybe it wasn’t worth it—

Until a guard strolled over to her. “Excuse me, ma’am,” he said, offering his hand. “Your presence has been requested.”

“B-by who?” she stuttered as she glanced around. 

“Who do you think?” the guard said, and she realized she recognized him. He was the same guard from the parade Sora had promoted. The one she liked a whole lot better than the rest. Octavius, was it? 

She paused and smoothed her skirts, then held her head up high as she put her hand in his. He was a lot taller than her, and the people nearby parted to let them through, stealing curious glances at her.

The part of the castle they were in now was an area she hadn’t been in yet. She tried to commit the route to memory in case she ever needed the information later on.

At long last they reached a grand set of double doors. They were decorated from floor to ceiling with swirling heart designs, a detailed pattern interwoven with flowers and waves and leaves.

“This way, ma’am,” the guard said, pushing open the doors. Kairi stared at the scene before her. Inside was an enormous hall lined with beautiful paintings of hundreds of different worlds, all forming one enormous painting. It wasn’t just on the walls, either; it stretched up onto the ceiling. She stared up at it in wonder. The night sky with thousands of stars twinkled down at her, perfectly captured by some masterful artist, and she couldn’t help but smile. 

The hall was filled with people, too. Even then, it could probably fit hundreds more. On the opposite end of the room, up a set of stairs and on a platform raised above everyone else, was a grand throne. And sitting on that throne was Sora, truly dressed like a king. A jewel-encrusted crown rested on his head, and he wore a sharp-looking uniform with a purple robe over it. In his hand he held a scepter, too, and that was when it hit her that he really was ruler of this realm.

But it also struck her that he was sitting up there all alone. Was this what he really wanted?

Kairi followed after the guard, drawing closer and closer to Sora. He hadn’t seen her yet, as he was preoccupied by whoever it was he was speaking to right now. But then the guard announced her presence, and Sora looked right at her. Looked at her like she was the only one in the room right now. 

“Your… Your Majesty,” she said as she got closer, bowing low and then curtsying. Proper decorum was a must right now. His throne was so far above her that she felt the full weight of their differences in social standing.

Sora dismissed the people he was speaking to, promising to hear the rest later. “Ah, yes, Miss Kairi,” he said, his voice stiff and formal. “The cook who took such good care of my horse. What is it you want from me?”

She took a deep breath. This was it. This was her chance. Should she ask about the black box? No, that was too bold. That would get her kicked out immediately. Best to stick with what she was really after.

“I merely wish… to ask about His Majesty’s heart. To uncover the full story of what happened during our final battle. My own memories are—”

Sora’s eyes were cold. “No. That is something you must never know.”

“But Sora—”

There were loud gasps from the people nearby, then whispering and murmuring.

“Do I need to repeat myself?” Sora said, making his voice louder so that everyone would stop talking. “The answer is no. You’re supposed to be in the Realm of Light as it is. How did you even end up here?”

“I… I dreamed of you, and I… I woke up here.” 

Sora considered this for a moment, his eyes searching hers. “If I could, I’d send you home right now,” he said at last. “But until I find a way, you can stay here at the castle if you’d like.”

“And when you do find a way… you’ll send me home?”

He nodded. “You don’t belong here, Kairi. I do. This is my fate, and I’ve made my peace with it. Our friends are safe now, and soon you’ll be safe too.”

No no no. She couldn’t let that happen. She had to stay with him until she found a way to save him. A crazy idea popped into her head. A wild, crazy idea that was so stupid she knew Sora would never agree to it. But she had nothing to lose at this point, and it couldn’t hurt to try.

“I have another favor I’d like to ask,” she said, looking straight into his eyes. 

“And what would that be?” he asked, his voice careful, measured.

“Marry me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to everyone who commented/left kudos on the first chapter! This chapter was a fun one to write, especially all the plotting and planning. The cliffhanger was mean, I know, but the next chapter will resolve it, I promise. Hope you enjoyed!


	3. A Gutsy Proposal

“Marry me.”

Kairi looked up at Sora, letting her request, no, her dare hang in the air between them. His mouth dropped open as the full meaning of her words sank in.

“Marry me, Sora,” she said, more gently this time. “I know it’s a little unexpected, but…”

In the moments they had gotten to spend together over the years, between mission after mission and quest after quest and journey after journey, it had hung there between them, a dream fate hadn’t allowed. A dream fate had made impossible, driving a wedge between them that—

“The audacity!” shouted one of the guards. “Your Majesty, you can’t possibly—”

“Do you really mean it?” Sora said, his voice finally showing a hint of something besides weariness and despair as he leaned towards her, his hand shaking slightly. “Do you really… want to marry me?”

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yes.”

“Kairi, you know what this means, don’t you? You’re prepared to stay with me?”

She nodded again. If Riku’s words were anything to go by, they wouldn’t be here forever anyway. Not if their friends found a way to get the two of them back to the Realm of Light. 

Sora’s hand balled into a fist. “No, I shouldn’t let you. You’d be risking your life, throwing away your future—”

She took a deep breath. She had to get him to listen. She couldn’t save him if he sent her away.

“You’re my future, Sora. Please. Let me stay with you.”

“This is ridiculous!” shouted one of the guards. “You will not speak to His Majesty like that! Guards!”

One of them grabbed Kairi by the arm, and Sora leaned back and rested against his throne. 

“Watch the way you’re speaking to the future queen of Kingdom Hearts, Janus. I advise you to be more respectful in the future.”

“B-but Your Majesty!” Janus protested.

Sora raised his eyebrow. “Was I unclear? Octavius, escort my fiancée to a room of her own. She will be staying here in the castle until our wedding, and I want the utmost care and courtesy to be extended to her. She will be my wife and my queen, and your behavior should reflect that.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Octavius said, oddly pleased about this unexpected turn of events. “Ma’am,” he said, offering his arm to Kairi. 

The crowd was in an uproar, but Kairi hardly paid them any attention as Octavius led her away. She just watched Sora’s face until she couldn’t see him anymore. Because he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of her, either, and she couldn’t bring herself to break the connection.

The door closing behind her was what snapped her out of her reverie. 

“I… I’m marrying Sora?”

She couldn’t believe that had actually worked. She never thought he’d say yes. It had just been a stalling technique, a last ditch effort to try to find another way to save him. And now they were—

“Yeah, finally,” Octavius said as he turned a corner into another hallway. 

She gave him a curious look. “Huh?”

“I mean… congratulations, Ma’am. I’m sure the king is very happy about this.”

As their footsteps echoed down the hallway, Kairi thought about her impending marriage to Sora. Octavius thought Sora was happy, and she’d told him she wanted to marry him, but… did she, really? With how things were now? Did she really even know him anymore? 

She froze. They were getting married. Husbands and wives were generally expected to have children. Especially kings and queens. He was going to want to sleep with her. Not just once, not just twice… over and over again till her body bore his children. Until she gave birth to his heirs.

“Octavius?” she said, her voice pitching higher. “Is there… a doctor in the castle? A court physician, perhaps?”

“There is. His name is Dr. Valens, and he lives here in the Keep. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, just thought I’d ask.” 

The first chance she got, she was going to find that doctor and ask him for birth control. Having Sora’s children… it was something she’d once dreamed about. When they were older and ready to settle down. But having children with him right now, when he was like this? When his heart and soul and body were steeped in darkness? When they were both still young and she wasn’t sure she was ready yet? 

No. She had to focus on helping him. She couldn’t be distracted by the prospect of getting pregnant. 

Octavius showed her to the guest bedroom where she would be staying until the wedding, then left her alone as she had requested. She flopped back onto the big four-poster bed and stared at the ceiling.

“I’m getting married.” 

After all these years, after all this time, it was finally happening. Not exactly under the circumstances she had hoped for, but…

She thought of the look in Sora’s eyes, of that connection she’d felt, and thought that maybe, just maybe, this would be okay.

What a day it had been, and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.

* * *

Sora stumbled into a closet full of cleaning supplies and slammed the door behind him. He raked a trembling hand through his hair as he took deep breaths to calm himself down. 

Kairi wanted to marry him. Kairi wanted to marry him, and he’d said yes. The darkness imprisoned within him shrieked and screeched and gnawed away at him some more, but maybe that was a good sign. Maybe it meant he was doing something right. 

The spark was back, but it was weak. Anything at all could snuff it out right now. But he didn’t… he didn’t want it to be snuffed out. Because Kairi still cared about him. She’d even said he was her future. 

This was his chance. His light was gone, but with her help, with her affection, maybe he could… grow it again, deep inside his heart. 

Maybe he could feel something besides anger and hurt and pain again. 

Maybe he could feel love. 

They were getting married after all this time. After he hadn’t dared to hope anymore. And that meant he should do something special for her. 

He had just the idea.

* * *

“Kairi, love! You’re marrying the king!” Julia crowed as she burst into the guest room with Cornelia right at her heels, and Kairi ran over to them so they could do a little happy dance. 

“You weren’t kiddin’ after all!” Cornelia said. “You do know His Majesty!”

“More than just know him from the sounds of it!” Julia said. “The whole kingdom is talking about the way he looked at you, about your gutsy proposal, about how he actually said yes—”

Kairi had to smile at that. From their perspective, a peasant girl had stood before a king and asked for his hand in marriage, and he had said yes. That was enough to get any group of people gossiping. 

They chatted for a while after that until Kairi was able to bring the topic of the conversation to what she really wanted to ask.

“Cornelia, I know it’s really short notice, but… I was hoping you could sew my wedding dress for me.”

Cornelia clasped her hands together and Julia practically squealed. “I’d be thrilled, dearie! How many days until the wedding?”

“Two weeks from tomorrow.” 

“I’ll have it done in one week. Now, tell me, what kind of design do you have in mind?”

They talked about wedding preparations after that, and then when they had gone home, Kairi met with even more people to discuss preparations. The rest of the day was one series of meetings after another. Getting married on such short notice meant that there was a lot of planning to do in a short amount of time.

Kairi was about to call it quits for the night when there was a slight knock at her door. She opened it to see Sora standing there, still dressed in his regal attire. He looked tired, but his eyes softened when they met hers.

“Will you go on a walk with me?” he asked.

She nodded. “Hang on, let me grab my shawl.”

Julia and Cornelia had been kind enough to bring her clothes, but what she had was still nowhere near the extensive wardrobe a queen would require. Cornelia was to be her official seamstress after the wedding dress was done, but in the meantime she’d need to ask other people to help make her clothes, too.

She wrapped the shawl around her shoulders and joined Sora in the hallway. He led her to a nearby doorway, and before long they found themselves in a little garden with rose trellises and a fountain surrounded by a few benches. The moonlight danced across the water, and Kairi sighed.

“It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

She walked over to the fountain and sat at its edge. A statue of a man and a woman with Cupid’s arrows through their hearts was at the center of it, their eyes locked in the rapture only lovers can understand as water poured forth from their wounds.

A little violent, perhaps, but then again love could move the heart violently. Sora alone was proof of that.

Kairi caught a glimpse of herself in the water, of the stars shining brightly in the sky behind her. She was already looking better than she had when she’d first woken up on this new world.

“Feels strange, doesn’t it?” she said as she trailed her fingers through the cold water.

“What feels strange?” came his voice.

“Well… we’re engaged. We’re going to be married.”

“What’s so strange about that?”

“Nothing. I just… I never thought it would happen. It always seemed like a dream that could never come true. Like fate wouldn’t allow it. I’d sort of resigned myself to it never actually happening.”

She glanced up from the water, and he was looking at the ground. “I know. That’s why I...”

“Hmmm?”

He shook his head. “Never mind.” He looked up at her, and his eyes were soft again. She missed the old blue, but the gold wasn’t so bad.

“Kairi,” he began, “I know what’s done is done. We’re engaged, and I can’t change the way it happened. But I still want to do this properly, the way I would have if...”

“Sora?”

He got down on one knee and pulled a little black box out of his pocket. “Kairi, will you marry me?”

Kairi stared at the ring inside. There was no way he had just gotten it today. No, this ring had thought and heart and effort put into it. It was a slender gold band with a yellow diamond in the shape of a paopu mounted on it, with dozens of tiny star-shaped sapphires sprinkled around it to form gentle ocean waves.

Was this… had he had it before… 

“I will,” she said, and his lips twitched a little at that. Not really a smile, but the closest he could get to smiling, perhaps.

He slipped the ring on her finger, and it was a perfect fit. He leaned forward and kissed her hand, his fingers clinging to hers and his lips lingering on her skin.

When he looked up, his lips twitched again and his eyes had a spark of life in them. “Kairi, thank you.”

His thank you stayed with her long after she’d gone to bed that night, tossing and turning as she tried to get some sleep, the new engagement ring on her finger a reminder of all that had transpired today.

All it had taken was one moment for her life to be turned upside down, and another for it to be… not quite righted, but maybe moving in the right direction again.

Only time would tell what the final outcome would be.

* * *

“So now you’re engaged,” Riku said, his voice carrying over the surf. Back home again on Destiny Islands, except not. This place was more like… a dream of Destiny Islands. Not a dream world, but a dream realm.

Kairi winced. “I asked him to marry me. He said yes. It was a stalling tactic, Riku! He was going to send me away and then how would I have been able to help him? I didn’t think he’d actually agree!”

He groaned and raked his fingers through his hair as he paced up and down the beach. “Really, Kairi? You really believed that? It’s been his dream to marry you for years now. How’d you miss that?”

Kairi looked at the ring on her finger and frowned. “Before… all _ this _happened, we were… on a break. We hadn’t spent much time with each other in ages, and it’s hard to maintain a relationship like that. And we’d been doing that for years.”

“And making it work. Sora’s feelings for you haven’t changed, you know.”

Kairi made a fist around the ring. “No, but… if there’s something I’ve learned… it’s that feelings aren’t good enough.”

She looked up at Riku, and her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, what am I saying, of course they’re good enough! Sora proved he loved me years ago. I’m happy we’re finally getting married, really!”

Riku raised his eyebrow. “Just who are you trying to convince?”

She stared at him, his arms crossed, an eyebrow raised, patiently waiting for her to be honest with him and with herself.

“I’m scared,” she finally admitted. “I feel like I don’t know him anymore. Even before the final battle… we were growing apart. And now he’s full of darkness and his heart… Riku, his heart… his Keyblade was all fragmented, I don’t know what he did to himself—”

Riku’s expression softened. “You don’t have to do this, you know. Just call the wedding off.”

She shook her head. “No. I have to go through with this. It’s the only way to save him. If I call the wedding off, he’ll kick me out of the castle. And if he finds a way, he’ll send me home, and then I really won’t be able to help him.”

Riku frowned. “If you’re really okay with it. I just… hate to see you two finally get married over something like this. Even if it is to save him, he’s not going to take it well once he finds out. He wants you to marry him because you love him, not because you feel like it’s your duty or whatever.”

“Maybe, but it’s for the best,” she said as she touched her necklace. “He’ll understand in the end.”

Riku gave her a doubtful look. “Will he though?”

“What do you mean?”

Riku turned away from her and faced the sea. “Remember those stories your grandma used to tell you? That you told me and Sora and the others?”

“Yeah?”

“There was the one about the king who wanted everything he touched to turn into gold. He got his wish, but then he realized it wasn’t the way he wanted it to come true. And before long... he realized it wasn’t what he wanted, period.”

King Midas. Kairi knew the story well.

“And?” she said.

Riku turned to look at her again, a pained look in his eyes. “Sora’s about to find out he’s like that king.”

As she and Riku just looked at each other, the wind picking up and the breeze turning cold, she pushed down the uneasy feeling settling in the pit of her stomach and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“I think he already knows, Riku. On some level… I think he already knows.”

Or at least she’d tell herself that so she could go through with this. 

It was for the best. Really. 

Sora would understand. That was how he was. Understanding. If the Sora she cared about was still there, deep down, he’d want this too.

Right?

* * *

The court physician was an elderly gentleman named Dr. Valens. His eyes were kind as he glanced down at her over the rims of his glasses, a clipboard in hand as he made notes about her new prescription.

She looked up at the window set high against the wall. Moonlight streamed through it and cast flickering lights across the floor, and her thoughts went to the last evening she and Sora had really gotten to spend much time alone together. That had been… about two years ago now. But the taste of his lips, the smell of his skin, the soft sounds he’d made as he’d kissed her, all of that was still vivid in her memory.

Her eyes flickered to the pills sitting on the counter in the corner. They were the same brand as the ones she’d started taking when she and Sora were getting ready for their first time. But they’d been separated before they could actually go through with it, as per usual.

“Take these at the same time every day,” Dr. Valens explained, breaking her out of her thoughts. “Don’t miss a single day, either, and be sure to come by again to refill the prescription when you run out.” He found a brown paper bag and put the medicine inside. “And just to be safe, refrain from… gosh, how should I say this… ‘quality time’ with So—I mean, His Majesty, until you’ve been taking these pills daily for seven days. Or use other forms of birth control.”

Kairi nodded as she took the bag from him. “Same time every day, got it. Thank you for your help.”

No need to worry about the rest. Sora hadn’t done anything more than kiss her hand since being reunited with her, and their wedding was still thirteen days away. At this point she figured he’d wait until the wedding night anyway. There was way too much to get done before then as it was.

Sex would just have to wait, and Kairi was more than fine with that. As soon as she got back to her room, she stashed the pills in a bag and stashed the bag under a blanket. No need for snooping eyes to discover things they didn’t need to know. She would take the first pill in the morning.

She flopped onto the bed and sighed. There. Now she could fulfill her wifely duties without worrying about it interfering with her duty to Sora as his friend.

Clutching a pillow to her chest, she couldn’t help but wonder. What all… would Sora expect from her? What would he like? Would he be gentle, or… 

She thought of those times she’d seen him transform into a Heartless-like creature. That creature was still living inside him now, evidenced by his golden eyes. And he’d sealed an even greater darkness inside himself. Was there a chance all of that would come out when—

She squeezed her eyes shut. No. Sora wouldn’t hurt her. Of that much she was certain. It had never happened before, and she knew it wouldn’t happen now.

Her eyes opened. Should she tell him about the pills? What would he say about them? Would he be hurt that she didn’t want to get pregnant? Relieved?

She frowned. If it came up, she would tell him, but otherwise… 

There was a knock on the door, and she sprang up to get it.

“Kairi?” Sora asked as she opened the door. He was wearing casual clothes, a hoodie and sweatpants and sneakers. “I know it’s late, but I wanted to talk to you about something. Will you go on a walk with me?”

She nodded. “Sure. Just let me grab my shawl.”

A few moments later, and they were strolling outside in the gardens. The air was nippy again, but not so cold as to be unpleasant. Sora had his hands behind his neck as he rambled off a list of everything they’d prepared for the wedding already.

“So, we picked out a cake today, and… those flower decorations, and…”

She stopped. “Sora, what’s on your mind? Really.”

He turned to face her, his hands lowering to his side. “Kairi… why’d you propose?”

His eyes searched hers as his question hung in the night air.

She wrapped her shawl more tightly around herself. “I… I got tired of being apart from you. I… I figured getting married was the only way to fix that.”

“I see,” he said softly, though what he saw, he didn’t say. 

“And… this is what I always dreamed of. Us, together.”

That much was true. That hadn’t changed. Even if reality had, her dreams had stayed the same. 

His hand found hers, his fingers warm despite the aura of darkness that surrounded him now. 

“It’s my dream, too.”

And the way he was looking at her, even with his golden eyes… she believed him.

As she climbed into bed that night, Riku’s words haunted her even worse than they had the night before. 

But it didn’t matter. She had to do this. She had to help Sora. And to get him back, to get him to let her stay, she’d have to go through with this. She had to marry him.

* * *

Sora climbed out of the tub and stared at himself in the mirror. Water dripped down his body and collected at his feet. Little streams tracing their pathways across his bare skin. 

Would he be enough? Would he be enough to please Kairi? Would she be happy with his body? He’d stayed in pretty good shape, mainly because he had to, but also partly for her. What would she think when she finally saw him? What would she say? 

He wanted to please her. She deserved to feel good. But they’d never actually… before, and… 

That was okay though, right? They could learn together. He could become a good lover for her, just like he’d learned any other skill. And what better teacher than Kairi herself—

He looked in the mirror again and froze. The monster was back. It wore his skin, his body, but it was ugly, disgusting. Its heart was full of darkness, kicking and poking around inside it.

Kairi would be disgusted, wouldn’t she?

No, she wanted this, for whatever reason. Wanted him. Wanted to be his wife. And for her, he’d do anything.

And it… it felt good, to be wanted again. Even if he didn’t deserve it. No, especially because he didn’t deserve it. 

So when the time came, he would do his best to please her. It was the least he could do, after everything she’d done for him. 

Only thirteen more days to go before the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post this one a week early in honor of the new Re:Mind trailer that’s coming out here soon! I will also be posting a chapter next week, and then I’ll go back to the usual every other week schedule. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who’s already commented, discussing the story with you has been pretty great!


	4. A Wedding to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skip to the end notes if you want some additional content warnings.

Kairi’s parents, her birth parents, came to Mare Caelestis for the wedding, but Sora’s did not. When she’d gotten over the initial shock at seeing them again and then spent several hours catching up with them with lots of smiles and laughter and tears, she wasn’t sure what was more disturbing. That his parents weren’t here, or that her adopted parents weren’t and her birth parents were.

Her mother gave her a teary-eyed look as she helped her put the finishing touches on her hair, a few barrettes that kept her waves in place. 

“Darling, you look beautiful.”

Kairi stared at herself in the dressing room mirror. Red hair pulled back in a twist, carefully applied makeup, a fancy dress with ruffles and lace and a poofy skirt tailor-made for her by Cornelia…

On paper, everything was picture-perfect. And yet, in all her fantasies, she hadn’t imagined things being quite like this. She’d pictured a small ceremony with their closest friends back on Destiny Islands. She and Sora would wear Destiny Islands wedding clothing and celebrate their marriage the traditional way. Then they’d have a big white wedding with a dress much like the one she had on now, probably at the castle of one of their friends. And all of their friends would be there for the party.

Instead, none of them were. Except for Julia and Cornelia, that is. And those were more her friends than Sora’s, anyway. Did he even have any friends here?

“Thanks, Mom,” she finally answered, an empty feeling settling in her stomach.

Her mother wiped her eyes. “I still can’t believe… you and King Sora! However did you two meet?”

Kairi dutifully recited the “I treated his horse nicely” story that Sora had begun. Everyone ate it up, every time. The peasant-girl-marries-the-king narrative had universal appeal. Her birth parents had been gone by the time she’d met Sora anyway, so it wasn’t like they knew any better.

“I’m so happy for you,” her mother said as she helped Kairi to her feet. “But what’s important is that you’re happy, darling. Are you happy?”

Kairi looked in the mirror again, at the elegant creature she hardly recognized. The picture of grace and poise dressed in white. A queen. 

“I will be,” she said, then lowered the veil over her face.

Her father was there waiting in the wings for her and her mother. He found her hand and squeezed it, and his eyes were teary, too. 

“What’s on your mind?” she asked.

“I’m just thinking about the last time I saw you. And now you’re getting married,” he said, his voice choking up. “My Kairi, all grown up.”

“I might’ve found a new home,” she said softly, “but I’ll always be your daughter.”

The three of them hugged as best as they could in their fancy clothes, and then got in position. Their part of the ceremony was about to begin.

The organ music changed, the double doors to the chapel opened, and Kairi’s mother removed the veil from her face. They shared a moment between mother and daughter, and then Kairi was walking down the aisle with her father. Towards Sora. Towards her soon-to-be husband. Towards the king.

His eyes were transfixed on hers. Not the blue from her fantasies, but the gold they were now. But she hardly noticed the crown on his head or his regal attire. He was still Sora, and that thought gave her the courage to put one step in front of the other.

She caught Cornelia and Julia’s eyes and nodded at them and smiled. She recognized a few other faces here and there, like Livia and Aulus. Livia clasped her hands together and ducked her head in apology, and Aulus gave her a half grin. Kairi bowed her head to acknowledge them, then turned her attention back to Sora.

They were almost to him and the minister now. Her father helped her up the steps, each one bringing her closer and closer to Sora. Then he bowed, and Sora bowed back, and with one last look at her, he went back the way he came to join her mother on the front row.

It was just her and Sora and the minister now. There were two sets of candle stands on either side, and they cast a warm glow over Sora’s face. The light from the stained glass windows shone down, too, keeping the inside of the chapel from being dark or dreary.

Sora found her hand, and she hardly heard what the minister was saying as she looked into his eyes. Just the traditional, “Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today…” before the rest faded away.

Most of the ceremony went by in a blur like that, and then it was time to recite their vows. Sora slipped the ring on her finger and began to say his.

“I, Sora, take you, Kairi, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.”

Instead of continuing the rest of the vow the traditional way like she was expecting him to, he lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it, earning a surprised gasp from the audience for breaking from tradition.

“Heart of my heart,” he said, his voice so soft she knew his words were meant for her ears only, “flesh of my flesh, I promise to love and cherish you, even unto death.”

He looked into her eyes, and she stared at him. Had he written that himself? It was… it was beautiful.

No, what was she thinking? This was a disaster. He still loved her. He really loved her. Riku was right. His feelings hadn’t changed, but hers had. Of course she still cared about him as a friend. Of course she wanted to save him. But that was different from still being in love with him.

Her heart hammered away inside her chest as the seconds ticked by. Even the affection she had felt for him before, back before battle after battle had made them drift apart, paled in comparison to his devotion now. It wasn’t very expressive or gushing or emotional anymore, but it was quiet and steady and true. How could she possibly return even a tenth of the love he’d shown her over the years? There was just no way.

But the guests were still here and Sora was staring at her and she had to do something. So she found his ring and slipped it on his finger and took his hands in hers.

“I, Kairi, take you, Sora, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.”

She took a deep breath as she looked into his eyes. If he was going to break with tradition, she would do it along with him.

He understood. “Heart of my heart,” he began, and she repeated the vows he’d said to her.

“Heart of my heart.”

“Flesh of my flesh,” he continued, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Flesh of my flesh.”

He twined their fingers together, and her thoughts flickered to tonight. Did he want sex? Desire it? Even in his current state? 

Maybe all those years of waiting had been harder on him than she’d thought. 

“I promise to love and cherish you…”

“I promise to love and cherish you…”

She could try, anyway. That was the best she could do for now.

“...even unto death,” he finished, his voice calm, confident, his eyes tender.

“...even unto death,” she said, a lot less confidently.

Sora didn’t have to make a vow like that because he’d already proven he would die for her. The vows reminded her yet again that her love hadn’t ever been able to match his. When had she ever had to prove her love for him the way he had for her?

The minister said a few more things, and then Kairi heard the magic words. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Time seemed to slow down as Sora brought his hands to her face. His breath was warm on her cheek, and his eyes fluttered closed. His lips met hers, and they were soft, gentle, just like she remembered. For a moment she was transported back to Destiny Islands, back to the beach on that fateful last evening spent together. She could almost smell the sea-salt breeze, could almost hear the tide lapping at their feet. Could feel Sora’s arms around her, could sense his longing for her.

Then it was over, and as he pulled back to look at her, he stroked her cheek.

“My wife,” he said softly. “Kairi, you’re my wife.”

Before she could answer, the minister presented them to the people, and the moment was over. She couldn’t have made herself heard over the cheers or triumphant music even if she’d wanted to.

As they walked back down the aisle, this time arm-in-arm, it hit her. She and Sora were married. She was his wife. He was her husband. This was a forever sort of a deal, unless something happened.

She swallowed. She had to find a way to save him, and soon. This marriage was for his sake. For their sakes. It was fine. She’d be fine. Sora would understand.

* * *

The reception was the biggest party Kairi had ever been to, and she’d been to quite a few parties. It was held in the grand banquet hall in the Keep, and it felt like the entire world’s population and then some had been invited. Lots of dignitaries from other worlds, too. None were any she recognized. 

She hoped the servants, Priscilla and Marcus in particular, would be able to keep up with all the cooking and food deliveries that had to be done. They’d been recruited to help for this event, and while it was running like a well-oiled machine, Kairi knew full well how stressful it must be for them to keep it going so well.

She didn’t get a single moment alone with Sora. Not with everyone clamoring for his attention and her attention and wanting the two of them to pose and dance and otherwise perform like the public figures they now were.

What she wouldn’t give for some privacy. The party just kept going on and on and on. The guests were enjoying themselves when she wanted nothing more than to retreat to her room.

But at long last, the reception was over. It was time to go to bed. Despite Kairi’s exhaustion, though, she was more alert and awake than ever, because… because…

Everything else was done. It was her wedding night, and she and Sora had to consummate their marriage to make it legally binding.

“And this,” Sora said, gesturing to the room in front of them with its canopy bed and grand piano and enormous window with window seats, “is our room. Make yourself at home.”

It was nice, to be sure. The walls were blue, one of her favorite colors, and the bed looked comfortable. A quick glance at the window told her some sort of garden must be below, too, and she couldn’t wait to check it out during the day to see what kind of flowers it had.

But then thoughts of what she’d soon be doing on that bed made her palms sweaty and her stomach flutter.

A frown crossed Sora’s face as he looked at her. “Everything okay?”

She nodded. “Yes. It’s a lovely room.”

“Glad you like it.”

“I do.”

That much was true, at least. She allowed him to take her by the hand and lead her inside, and it was strange how distant she felt from her own body. Like this was all happening to someone else.

They were standing by the bed now. He was so much bigger and taller than her. Would it… would it hurt once he was inside of her? Or would it feel good?

She fiddled with her hair clip and let her hair down as he started unbuttoning his shirt. Next she tried to get her dress off, but she kept fumbling with the zipper, her hands were so sweaty.

“Here, let me help,” he said. She nodded and turned around, and he unzipped the dress, leaving it to fall to a pile on the floor. She stepped out of it, and all that was left was her bra and underwear. She felt naked in a way she hadn’t before. Yes, her bikinis back home showed about the same amount of skin, but this… this was different.

The look in his golden eyes as he stared at her made it clear how different. He wanted this. He really wanted this. His chest was bare except for his crown necklace, and the muscles in his arms and torso, normally hidden by his clothes, were visible. His breathing had gotten heavier, and she couldn’t help but look at him. 

Her eyes met his again, and she wondered what he saw in them.

One of his hands gently rested on her cheek, and she closed her eyes as his lips found hers. His kiss was different from the chaste kiss they’d shared earlier today for their wedding ceremony. Soft and restrained, but hinting at the desire stirring within him.

It was almost… sweet, how tender he was being. Almost like something of the old Sora was shining through.

But then his arms went around her and brought her to him, and she could feel his arousal pressed against her. It was just too much too soon, and she couldn’t help but stiffen in his embrace.

He immediately stopped and pulled away from her. “Kairi?” he asked, his voice concerned, his eyes filled with worry.

She forced a smile. “It’s okay, I’m fine, really.”

He cupped her cheek. “No, you’re not. What’s wrong? Am I going too fast?” He frowned. “If you’re not ready, we can wait until—”

She put her finger over his lips. “No, it’s fine. No more talk, okay? The sooner we get this over with, the better.”

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. She hadn’t meant them like that. Or had she?

Well, it didn’t matter. The damage was done, and it was etched all over Sora’s face and body as he stiffened and pulled away from her.

“Get this over with?” he echoed, his voice breaking as he gave her a wounded look. “Get this over with?” 

“Sora—”

He shrugged her hand away. “That’s how you see making love to me?”

She hesitated, unsure of what to say. 

His voice got louder as he continued. “Sleeping with me is just another chore for you? Another thing to check off your to-do list? Another duty to fulfill?”

“No, it’s just that... I’m your wife now, so of course I should—”

He shook his head, and maybe it was her eyes playing tricks on her, but his eyes almost looked watery. She’d thought he couldn’t really feel much emotion anymore, but maybe she’d been wrong.

“No,” he said, his voice low. “Not like this. Never like this. ‘Should’ isn’t gonna cut it. I don’t care if we’re married now. I have no right to touch you unless you want me to. Heart of my heart, flesh of my flesh. It’s bad enough that my heart’s a mangled, bloody mess. But your heart’s completely missing, Kairi, and without it… without it, I—”

He retrieved his shirt from the floor so he could hand it to her. “Here.”

She took it from him and put it on, glad to have something to cover herself with that would be more comfortable to sleep in than her wedding dress. It fit him well but was big on her, its sleeves too long, the hem covering her butt—in other words, the perfect sleep shirt.

Her eyes hesitantly met his again, and his were rimmed with red. “I wish you’d told me,” he choked out.

Before she could say anything, he turned away from her and strode to the door. Darkness was wafting off of him now in smoky little spirals. 

“Sora, wait!” she cried, reaching towards him.

“I need to be alone.”

“But—”

“Goodnight, Kairi.”

And with that, the door slammed behind him. He was gone. 

“Sora—”

She let her hand fall to her side as she just stared at where he’d been only a few moments before. The tears hit her soon afterwards. She flung herself onto the big canopy bed and sobbed into one of the pillows, wishing she had never suggested this in the first place.

In all of her fantasies, she’d wanted her wedding night to be special, tender, loving. She’d wanted to give herself to Sora. She’d wanted to look into his eyes and see how much he adored her as he made love to her with every inch of his being.

The reality was so far removed from that that it was more like a nightmare. The rings on her finger glinted in the moonlight, and that was when it really hit her, though it had been looming over her for a while now.

She had married Sora when she wasn’t even sure she knew him anymore, let alone loved him. Wasn’t sure she _ could _ love him, the way he was now.

And the hurt look in his eyes, the agony in his voice… Riku was right. She’d done a cruel thing to him, marrying him like this. Marrying him under false pretenses. Even if it was to save him, she shouldn’t have let his heart get caught in the crossfire.

Or hers, for that matter.

“Oh, Sora,” she whispered as she wept into the pillow. “I’m sorry. I wish it hadn’t been like this.”

* * *

Sora stared at the sad creature in his bedroom mirror. Its face was blotchy from crying, its eyes rimmed with red. It was huddled on the ground, shivering, but couldn’t be bothered to put on a shirt. Pathetic. 

“She doesn’t love you,” he told it, his voice sounding even worse than ever, all strangled and cracked. His words crushed the monster, and it started crying again. Something about its tears stoked his anger, and he lashed out at it. 

“She doesn’t want you, either,” he told it. “How could she when you’re like this?!”

More darkness wafted off of it, wafted off of him. Barely controlled, barely contained. Seeking to hurt her because it didn’t like her light, didn’t like the way she had hurt him.

“You were stupid to think otherwise,” he told it. “Hope is dangerous. Hope is deadly. Why do you keep giving it a chance?”

“You know why,” it said as it wiped its eyes and sniffed. 

He rolled his eyes. “Ugh, you’re pathetic. You still love her after all this?”

“She’s my wife!” it cried. “Heart of my heart, flesh of my flesh—”

“That’s never gonna happen,” he snapped. “You’ll be lucky if she lets you come within five feet of her.”

It just started crying again, and Sora sighed. This was going to be a long and miserable night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora starts kissing Kairi on their wedding night, but stops as soon as he realizes she’s not ready/is having doubts about everything.
> 
> Sorry for all the angst in this chapter, it won’t always be this... angsty. Hopefully some of the nicer moments in the wedding helped offset that. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for all the comments and kudos! I enjoy hearing your feedback! Next chapter will go back to the every other week schedule, so chapter 5 will be posted two weeks from now. Until then!


	5. Wife of the King

Kairi woke up the next morning to a light knocking on the door. The sun was streaming through the big window, and she stumbled out of bed to answer the door, only remembering right as she opened it that her face and hair were still a mess and she only had on Sora’s shirt. 

So of course _ he _was the one at the door. He was wearing his crown and a black uniform with gold buttons, but there were dark circles under his eyes and his messy hair was poking out all over the place. He wasn’t smiling, either. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. His clothes certainly looked the part of king, but everything else… 

“I’m fine,” he said, refusing to meet her eyes. “I came to tell you that your new room is ready. Well, it’s more like the guest bedroom you stayed in is becoming your room.”

“It is?”

He nodded. “I had the servants prepare it for you.”

“And what about you? Where will you—”

“In my room.”

“Oh.” Her heart sank a little. He really didn’t want to—

When she looked down, however, she noticed the gold band around his finger.

“You’re still wearing it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? And? We’re married now, aren’t we?”

“Well, yes, I just—”

“You thought that after last night I was gonna take it off?”

She chewed on her lip. “I was afraid you might.”

He just sighed, and when his eyes finally met hers, it was with a very weary look. 

“Look, Kairi, I know things didn’t go well last night. So know this. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I expect you to have sex with me. You’re my queen, first and foremost, and that’s the only role I’ll ask you to play.”

She frowned at that. He thought she was just playing a role?

Well, she supposed it was true. Her words last night certainly hadn’t helped. And she had entered this marriage to try to save him. The role of loving wife was probably at odds with the role of savior.

“You’re the one who suggested this marriage, remember?” he said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Yes, but—”

“And as my queen I expect you to help me rule.”

She just stared at him. “You… want me to rule?”

She didn’t think he’d actually give her a say in anything. She thought she was going to be a trophy wife at best. But… he actually wanted to give her power? Real power? 

“Yeah,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Comes with the whole queen thing. What did you expect from marrying a king?”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he just shook his head. “Save it, Kairi. I don’t wanna hear it. Cornelia has finished some of your clothes already, and your new lady-in-waiting will be by soon to bring them and show you to your room. I’ll see you at lunch.”

She glared after him as he strolled down the high-ceilinged hallway with all its flags and banners in honor of their sham of a marriage. 

“Yes, Your Highness,” she spat.

He hesitated but didn’t turn around. 

“You know, the official form of royal address for a king is, ‘Your Majesty,’” he finally said. “If you’re gonna try to insult me, you might as well do it right.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, fine. Yes, _ Your Majesty,” _she ground out with as much venom as she could muster.

“Better.”

As she glared at his disappearing form, she decided right then and there that she was never going to use his name again. Instead she would use every wrong form of address she could think of with the right form thrown in just often enough to drive him insane.

That was the only thing she could think of to get back at him for—to get back at him for—

What, she wasn’t really sure. The strange feeling in her stomach—she couldn’t pinpoint what it was. 

She was the one who had rejected him. Then why… why did it feel like he had just rejected her, too?

* * *

Kairi’s lady-in-waiting was a tall young woman named Alma. Her dark hair was piled neatly on her head, and her blue eyes sparkled as she introduced herself with a curtsy. 

“Lady Alma, at your service, Your Majesty.”

“Nice to meet you, Lady Alma.”

She had on a nice black dress, simple but elegant, with a shawl wrapped around her elbows. Her arms were mostly bare except for some jewelry, and Kairi could see she was no slouch physically. Not exactly what she had been expecting from a lady. Alma could probably put up a good fight. 

She handed Kairi her clothes, and the ring on her finger caught the light. “Oh, please, Your Majesty, call me Alma.”

“And call me Kairi.”

Alma smiled. “As you wish, Kairi. Once you’ve put those on, I can show you to your room.”

Kairi nodded and closed the door so she could shower and slip her new clothes on. Cornelia had spared no effort in making them look good; the dress was light blue and hugged her figure nicely. Regal but sexy. 

She cast a glance at Sora’s shirt in a pile on the floor. Should she leave it there? Give it back to him? Right now, she didn’t even really want to talk to him. Maybe it would be best to just leave it here for one of the servants to clean up. 

And yet… he had offered it to her. He could’ve just left her to sleep naked, but instead he’d sheltered her with the clothes off his back, leaving himself vulnerable and exposed instead. 

She shook her head. Ugh, what was she thinking? She and Sora were fighting. He needed help. He wasn’t the Sora she’d fallen in love with, and the sooner she got that through her head, the better.

Snatching the shirt off the ground, she vowed to return it to him as soon as possible. She didn’t want to be in his debt. 

It still… it still smelled like him. 

“Kairi, no,” she muttered as she squished it into a small bundle and marched back to the door. 

Alma brightened when she opened it. “Ready to go to your room?”

“Yes. Um, do you know where the laundry room is though? This is Sora’s, and I figure I should wash it before giving it back to him.”

Alma held her arms out. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it for you.”

“Oh. Okay.” 

Kairi handed her the shirt, and Alma giggled.

“You’re the queen now, Kairi! You’ll never have to lift another finger the rest of your life if you don’t want to.”

“Right, it just feels… kind of weird. I’m not used to having other people wait on me like this.”

“Well, I am your lady-in-waiting. It’s in the job description.”

“Right.”

As Kairi followed after Alma, she cleared her throat and tried to make conversation. “So, Alma, what made you decide you want to work at the castle?”

“Well, I’m not actually from a noble family, so it’s really a great honor for me to have been chosen. Usually a position like mine would be filled by the daughter of a prominent noble. I mean, I’m a noble now, but I’m not one by birth.”

“How did you become one?”

“Well, His Majesty chose me to be your lady-in-waiting himself. In addition to proving I know how court life functions, he actually made me fight him one-on-one to see how I would handle myself! I’m proud to say I held my own, even though he won in the end. He put me through a number of other physical tests as well. ‘Only the best for my Kairi’ was what he said. I’m your guard as much as your lady-in-waiting. He really does want the best for you.”

“O-oh.”

He had really… done that for her? Her safety was that important to him?

Alma showed her to her room. The main difference was the closet, which now had more clothes in it, the ones Cornelia had already finished. Other than that, nothing much had changed.

They sprawled out on the bed and chatted more about Alma’s background and the kinds of things that would be expected of Kairi as queen, as well as her upcoming schedule for the week. 

“I don’t know if His Majesty has told you yet, but your coronation is next week. I know I told you you’re the queen, but that’s not technically accurate. Not until you’re officially crowned.”

“Next week?! That’s awfully soon!” 

They’d just had their wedding, and she was supposed to—

“It’s okay,” Alma soothed. “Cornelia’s already working on your dress for it, and she and Julia will both be there.”

Kairi relaxed a little. At least she wouldn’t be alone in a sea of strangers. “And my jewelry?”

“His Majesty will give it to you soon. The crown jewels you won’t need until the ceremony. Don’t worry. I can walk you through it if you’d like.”

Alma did, and Kairi was grateful she had someone so nice on her side. By lunchtime she felt a lot better about everything. That is, until Alma walked her to the same smaller dining room where she used to work when she was Sora’s scullery maid. 

She’d taken her meals here with him during their engagement, of course, but it still felt strange to be here, not as an employee, but as the lady of the castle.

“You’re not coming in?” she asked Alma, wishing she would. 

“His Majesty is a busy man,” Alma said gently. “Surely you would like to spend whatever time with your new husband you can.”

“Right. Of course.”

She didn’t want… or need… to start any more rumors about their relationship. It was scandalous enough as it was. 

Alma nodded and gave her hand a quick squeeze before retreating. Clearing her throat, Kairi opened the door. Sora had a bunch of paperwork stacked in front of him and a mug of coffee to the side, and he looked even more tired than he had this morning. 

She opened her mouth to say something when he looked up. “Did you meet Alma?” he asked, rather stiffly.

She nodded. “I did.”

“Do you like her?”

“Yes.”

He flipped the page of the document he was staring at and scrawled something on it. “Glad to hear it. I figured you would.”

“Your… Majesty,” she said, and his eyes snapped up to hers again. “May I come in?”

“Of course. You’re the queen. You can come and go as you please. Anywhere you want, any time you want.” He hesitated, then looked away. “Except my room. Stay out of there.”

She frowned as she took her seat next to him. “Why?”

“Well, we have separate bedrooms, for one. You’ve got somewhere to sleep, so you don’t need to come into my room. And we aren’t having sex, which is about the only other reason I can think of for you to go in there.”

She bristled. “What, is there something you want to hide from me?”

He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. “Kairi, I don’t want to fight with you about this. It’s just one room. Surely you can stay out of one room.”

She scowled. Why was this such a big deal? She really was beginning to think he had something he wanted to hide. 

“I promise I won’t come into your room either, unless you ask me to,” he said. “If you ever need to just… get away from me, you can.” 

“Fine,” she said. “I won’t go in your room if you won’t go in mine.”

“Deal.”

She was sneaking into his room the first chance she got. His defensiveness over the whole thing was the best clue she’d gotten since she’d woken up on this world, and she’d be stupid not to follow up on such a good lead.

But first, she’d allow herself to be crowned queen. Sora would have a much harder time getting rid of her if anything went wrong afterwards.

* * *

After a delicious lunch, which was salad with grilled chicken, strawberries and a poppyseed vinaigrette drizzled over it, the afternoon was spent meeting the members of Sora’s cabinet and advisors she hadn’t been introduced to yet. In fact, the next few days were spent meeting everyone and easing her into court. The nobles in particular took a while to meet. 

There were so many names Kairi couldn’t remember them all, but a few stuck out: a Lord Aurelius, because he looked down his nose at her and didn’t seem too gung-ho about Sora’s sudden marriage, a Lord Aries and his daughter Lady Diana, because they _ really _ didn’t seem happy about Sora’s marriage, a Lord Claudius, because of all the nosy but friendly questions he asked, and a Lady Flavia, because she actually smiled at Kairi. 

By the time all the meetings were through, Sora looked even more exhausted, and yet he still had a pile of paperwork he was carrying around with him. As they waited for Marcus to deliver their dinner that night, Kairi watched him. He was staring at the papers so hard he was probably going to burn holes in them. A part of her almost felt sorry for him. Of all the things she’d imagined him doing someday, stacks of paperwork was not one of them.

“Your Majesty, surely you can take a break for now,” she said as she sipped at her evening tea, chamomile with a little honey mixed in.

“I can’t,” he said. “Your coronation’s tomorrow, and I have to get as much of this done as I can.”

He flipped to a new page, and she put her hand over his. “Then let me help. You can’t do this all alone. You married me so I could help you with this kind of thing, didn’t you?” 

He stopped what he was doing and looked into her eyes. “You make it sound like I married you to be my secretary.”

“Why did you marry me, then?”

He sighed, his gaze flickering to the ring on his finger. “The heart wants what the heart wants. If I could get my heart to listen to my brain, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

His head drooped and his eyes were heavy, and she had to do something to make him feel better. 

“Listen, if this marriage is making you miserable, we don’t have to pretend,” she finally said. “We haven’t consummated it yet, so you have every right to get an annulment from me.” 

There. It was hanging out in the open. What she was afraid he was going to do any day now. Annul their marriage and send her home as soon as he figured out a way how.

“Tomorrow I’ll be crowned queen,” she added, “and it’ll be a lot harder to remove me from the throne after that. So if you want to, now’s a good time to—”

“You think I haven’t considered that? Kairi, I don’t want an annulment.”

She stared at him, her mouth dropping open. He still wanted to stay married to her? Even though sex was off the table? Even though she had given him one disappointment after the other?

“If you want one, fine,” he said. “I won’t stop you, but I won’t be the one ending our marriage. I swore a vow to you, and for once I’m gonna keep it.”

She thought over his words. Thought about her next step. Thought about what the best thing to do would be… for her and for Sora.

“I don’t want an annulment, either,” she said at last.

His expression softened. “I’m… glad to hear that.” A ghost of a smile tugged at his lips, and she had to avert her eyes because the feeling fluttering in her stomach right now wasn’t good. It wasn’t good at all. 

“Tell me what I can do to help,” she said, nodding at the papers.

“Right. Um, there’s actually something I’d like to ask your advice about.”

To her surprise, he listened to her input. The decision he wound up making was a compromise between her ideas and his, but still. He actually listened. And with her helping him with the paperwork, they got it done twice as quickly as he would have if he’d done it alone. Which meant he could get to bed at a decent hour and might actually get enough sleep, for once.

She went to bed that night not sure what to feel. At least the coronation was tomorrow. That would be a good distraction from everything. There would be a big party afterwards, too, and if she gave them all the slip when they were plastered, she could sneak into Sora’s room. Sneak into it and search it and figure out what it was he was hiding from her.

She could almost picture the faces of their friends, but for whatever reason, they weren’t happy. Well, this would make them happy. Figuring out a way to help Sora would make everyone happy.

“I’m still trying. I haven’t given up,” she whispered, and that was the last thing she remembered before falling asleep. 

* * *

“So. You’re going to give her another chance,” Sora told the monster as he turned the tub’s faucet on and started unbuttoning his shirt. It was oddly calm right now as it stared back at him.

“You heard her. She doesn’t want an annulment.” 

He scoffed. “That doesn’t mean she wants you.”

“But she might. Someday.”

Sora had to laugh as he threw his shirt on the ground, and the sound echoed through the bathroom, cold and empty. “Get real. You’re deluding yourself. She would never love something like you.”

“Maybe,” the monster admitted, “but she loved me once. If I speak tenderly to her, if I show her how much she means to me, if I offer my heart with no strings attached, no expectations, then maybe… she’ll love me again.”

“Do you hear yourself?” he asked as he unbuckled his belt. “You’re one walking contradiction after another. You can’t love her without hoping she’ll love you back. You’re delusional if you think otherwise.”

He slipped his pants and boxers off and lowered himself into the warm water. The monster was now staring at him out of the faucet, and he couldn’t resist the urge to say one more thing.

“Besides, how do you know she won’t hurt you again the first chance she gets?”

The monster hesitated, then finally spoke. “Kairi’s not like that. Even when she hurts me, it’s never on purpose.” 

“Sure, you just keep telling yourself that. It’s going to happen. She’s going to hurt you again, and soon. Get ready for disappointment.”

The monster was silent, and Sora closed his eyes and sighed. Finally. He could finally enjoy his bath in peace. 

* * *

Kairi found herself in a room with white walls and fluttering white curtains and a big white table and chairs to match. It would have been completely blank except for all the colorful drawings on the wall. She recognized Sora’s spiky hair in several of them, and she made an appearance sometimes too.

“Naminé?”

Sure enough, her friend was here, wearing a simple blue and white dress. She pressed her fingers together and smiled. “Kairi, it’s good to see you, even if this is only a dream.”

“Yes, it’s good to see you too.”

“There’s something I wish to speak with you about,” Naminé said as she moved beside her. “We’ve been looking for a way in and have made some progress… but it could be months before we’re able to fully create a path. Strengthening the connections takes time.”

“That’s okay. Take all the time you need. I’ll do what I can to help Sora until you figure things out.” 

“Speaking of which, there’s something I need to tell you.” From the tone of her voice, Kairi braced herself for bad news. “My powers are weak from such a far range. I can’t actually see Sora’s memories without coming into closer contact with him. But someone else is monitoring him, and I can sense his heart, somewhat.”

“How bad is it?” Kairi asked, not sure if she wanted the answer.

“Well, it’s… it’s in a state of flux. At first, after what happened… his heart had so much darkness in it I told Riku to contact you immediately. His light was gone, and I thought he might…” She trailed off and composed herself before speaking again. “But you were already on your way to help him. You wanted to stay.” 

Kairi nodded. She remembered that, from her dream. 

“Again, I can’t see his memories right now, and yours are… not just scrambled up, but gone completely, like someone’s taken them. I’m sorry, but I don’t know why.” 

Naminé’s eyes drooped, and Kairi grabbed her hands. “No, it’s okay. You’re doing what you can to help. How’s his heart now?”

“Well… it seems… when he’s with you, there’s more light. When he’s away from you, more darkness. But not always. Sometimes… being with you makes his darkness spike.”

Kairi frowned as she processed this information. “Is me being around him helping him or not?”

“I think it depends,” Naminé said, ever the tactful one. “Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. And in the times that it’s not… be careful.”

Kairi nodded. “Right. Thank you, Naminé.”

“Of course. We’re all rooting for you. For both of you.”

Kairi didn’t answer. All she could think about was what she had to do tomorrow, and somehow… deep down… she knew Naminé wouldn’t approve.

But if it helped her save Sora, it was for the best.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments on the last chapter! The feedback means a lot to me, and I'm happy you're enjoying the story so far. Next chapter will be posted two weeks from now. Until next time!


	6. The Coronation

If Sora and Kairi’s wedding was the event of the year, Kairi’s coronation was the event of the decade. 

Even more people came to it than the wedding. Kairi had no idea how everyone even fit into the throne room. There were representatives from every world in this realm, plus citizens from Mare Caelestis who were lucky enough to be able to attend. Everyone wore their very best—ceremonial uniforms, fancy robes, lavish gowns. 

Sora wore one such uniform, mostly black with a red sash, several medals and pins, and a gold aiguillette hanging from his shoulder and draped over one of his gold buttons. On his head was his most splendid-looking crown that added a good foot to his height, and Kairi wondered how he’d managed to get it to stay put over his hair.

Kairi, for her part, wore a dress that at first glance was white and shimmering, but if she turned to the right or left, captured just about every color of the rainbow. Cornelia had wanted to capture the look of an opal, and she had succeeded, especially paired with the crown jewels Sora had given her. They incorporated opals as well as diamonds and other precious stones, and the metalwork was truly a work of art. Over the gown she wore a purple robe with faux fur trimming, and it was so heavy that she had no choice but to walk slowly. This had the effect of making every movement seem deliberate and regal.

Looking out over the huge crowd, she searched for any familiar faces. There. Cornelia and Julia were there, and she felt a little better. So were her birth parents, and Alma, and a few other familiar faces. She took a deep breath. She could do this.

The same minister who had performed their wedding was officiating the ceremony, only this time, Sora was walking with her to their thrones. Whether this was tradition or not, she wasn’t really sure, but with every eye in the kingdom on her, she was grateful she wasn’t alone. 

He offered his arm, and she looped hers through his. His golden eyes were steady, calm. The processional music began to play, and together they walked down the red carpet towards their thrones. She couldn’t help but glance at all the splendid paintings on the walls and the night sky on the ceiling; for all the times she’d been in here now, its beauty never ceased to amaze her. 

Together they ascended the steps to their thrones, and once they had turned around to face everyone again, Sora was the one who presented her to the people. His voice rang out, clear and confident, as he introduced her and listed her titles. The new one for today was queen consort, but he sounded proudest when he told everyone she was his wife. 

Then the minister took over and asked her to swear an oath to uphold the laws of the land, to rule with justice and compassion, and to put the people’s needs over her own. When she had sworn the oath, she took a seat on her new throne. It had been created just for her and was actually pretty comfortable, with its plush velvet seat and padded back.

The minister anointed her with holy oil next, careful it stayed in her hair and didn’t stain her dress or robes. Then he handed her her scepter and other regalia, and with that, all that was left was the crowning and receiving homage from her new subjects.

Breaking from tradition again, Sora took over from there. He lifted her crown off the fancy purple pillow it was seated on and gently placed it on her head. It was heavy, but not unbearably so. With that, the minister pronounced her queen consort, and there were great cheers from the audience.

But when it came time for receiving homage, one person presented himself as the representative for all. The audience gasped as Sora removed his crown and put it on the pillow where hers had rested before, and they looked downright scandalized as he kneeled at her feet. A lump built in her throat as she stared down at him. Why was he doing this? 

“Kairi, I approach you now not as your king but as your loyal subject. I pledge my loyalty and service to you, on behalf of all our people.”

He found her hand and kissed it. Her fingers were shaking so badly that he twined his together with hers for a moment to reassure her. And when he spoke, his voice was so soft only she could hear him.

“Don’t be scared. Together, we’ll figure all this ruling stuff out.”

She gave him a pained smile. Everything he did just made what she had to do that much harder. Grabbing his crown, she placed it back on his head, and together, they stood. The message was clear: they would be ruling as partners and equals, not as two monarchs at odds with each other and grasping for power.

With a few more pronouncements from the minister, the ceremony was through, and she and Sora went back down the aisle, arm in arm, as king and queen. The cheers from the audience were deafening as they walked past, so loud Kairi could barely hear the music. After they exited the throne room, Sora turned to her, his lips twitching again in an almost smile. 

“That went pretty well, don’t you think?”

She nodded. Of course he had enjoyed all that, extrovert that he was. He never tired of being around people, whereas she was already drained of energy, and the day’s festivities were only halfway over. 

He seemed to sense this, and his expression softened. “We have another hour before the banquet starts. Take some time to yourself if you need to.”

“Thank you.”

“See you at the banquet.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze, and then Alma was there and sweeping her to her room so she could change into her banquet dress.

She wanted to groan. How was she supposed to sneak into his room now? It was for his sake, yes, but she couldn’t help but wonder how he would feel about it. He had given her only one rule, and if she broke it… 

Well, if he caught her breaking it. That was the key. If he didn’t catch her, he wouldn’t know, and he couldn’t be hurt.

If he was in his right mind, he would agree with her reasoning here. He would want her to help him any way she could. And now she had this window of time before the banquet, plus the time afterwards when everyone would be drunk and distracted.

Time to put her plan into action.

* * *

Kairi’s appetite didn’t allow her to do more than nibble at the banquet food. She and Sora and their guests were in the huge dining hall with several long tables and hundreds of seats that Sora only ever used for parties like this. While the food was delicious, what she planned on doing hung heavily over her to the point she couldn’t really enjoy anything.

It didn’t help that she was seated next to Sora. He was actually unwinding a little, cracking jokes with a dignitary here, making a servant smile there. The goblet of red wine in his hand probably helped, but even without it, he would’ve been socializing just fine. 

Even now he glanced at her with an almost smile on his face, then cleared his throat loudly to get everyone’s attention. 

“I’d like to propose a toast,” he said, lifting his goblet in the air. “To my wife and queen, Kairi. May we rule long together.”

There were general murmurs of agreement as glasses clinked together and everyone drank to the king and queen’s health and long rule. Kairi only pretended to sip her wine. She couldn’t afford to have anything less than her full mental abilities right now.

The longer the night went on, the more raucous the guests became. People who had been prim and proper at the start of the evening were letting their hair down… some of them literally. Nothing like a good party to get everyone in good spirits.

Soon. She would have to act soon. While everyone was still drinking and distracted by the party, but before they could stumble to bed in a drunken stupor. 

Someone called Sora over, and now was her chance. He set his wine down and went to them, and once he was far enough away, she slipped away from the table. Anyone who noticed her absence would probably just assume she was going to the bathroom. 

She’d memorized the route to his room by now, having carefully gone through it a couple times in real life, and over and over again in her head. If she played her cards right, this would all be over in about ten minutes, give or take a few. It depended on how well he’d hidden whatever it was he was hiding from her. 

Thankfully, his room was in the same wing of rooms as her bedroom, so the occasional servant she passed would not be enough to arouse suspicion. They would probably just assume she wanted to grab something from her room. 

Her shadow danced across the walls and the floors covered in banners and flags for her coronation. She’d specifically chosen a route she knew would be less-traveled, and the flickering lights on the walls were the only light in this part of the castle at this time of night. The flight of stairs she climbed had her breathing heavily, as she hadn’t had much physical exertion lately, and she willed her heart to calm down. 

She rounded the corner, and there. She was standing in front of his room now, with its imposing black door, her breathing the only sound in the hallway. This was what she’d spent all that time preparing for, but now that she was here, she had to take a moment to think. Having never been inside his room before, she wondered what awaited her.

Well, only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her hand to the doorknob, and—

Saw Sora, in her mind’s eye. Saw the look he gave her as he swore his wedding vows to her. Saw his face as he pledged his allegiance to her today. How would he feel if he found her here? 

Oh, she knew the answer to that. He’d be angry. Furious. And… and hurt, too. She sighed deeply. Why hadn’t she tried to speak with him again? Why had she jumped to betraying his trust?

Enough of this sneaking around behind his back. She would confront him about it instead. She lowered her hand, and in the reflection on the doorknob, Sora’s face stared back at her.

She yelped and whirled around, only to run right into him, practically. 

“Kairi,” he said, his voice smooth, even, his face an emotionless mask. “You’re an awfully long way from the party.”

“I could say the same about you,” she said. His gaze was sharp, intense, not at all dulled by the effects of alcohol. Had he only been pretending to be drinking?

He took a step closer, and she took one backwards. “I noticed you were missing, and I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he murmured, his voice as soothing as a mother’s lullaby. 

“I-I’m fine, I was just on my way to grab something from my room.”

He took another step closer, and her back was against the door now. She gulped. Getting out of this wouldn’t be easy.

“That’s funny, because right now, you’re standing in front of my room,” he said. “Your back’s even against my door.”

He flashed his teeth in a way that resembled a smile, but something about it was very unnerving. His hand lazily rested on the door near her head, and he was so close she could feel his warm breath. No smell of alcohol at all. Had he suspected she might try something?

“Tell me, Kairi. Why are you so close to the one place I asked you not to go?”

Underneath his calm exterior, he was burning with rage. Naminé’s warning rang sharply through her mind. The facade was already starting to crack as it was; darkness was beginning to waft off of him. Which would make him more upset at this point: to lie, or to tell him the truth? 

“I… I was curious, and paused for a moment,” she finally said. “But I wasn’t going to go in, I swear.”

“Sure, Kairi, sure,” he said, and the facade cracked a little bit more.

“Okay, fine! I want to help you! I don’t know what happened and you won’t talk to me about it and our friends have been asking me to help you, so I thought the only thing I could do was check your room for myself because clearly you’re hiding something from me! But then I felt guilty about it so I didn’t go in, I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want to betray your trust, that was the one rule you gave me and I couldn’t bring myself to break it, not after you’ve been so kind and caring and—and _ you. _”

She expected him to blow up at her for admitting the truth. Instead, he fixated on the one detail she hadn’t expected him to.

“You’ve been talking to our friends? How?”

“It’s Riku and Naminé, they’re trying to help—”

“What has Naminé told you?” he demanded, his eyes flashing. “Kairi, what did she tell you? What did she tell you about me?”

“Nothing! She can’t even see your memories right now. She’s too far away. She and Riku just asked me to help you till they can find us and get us out of here!”

Sora relaxed and took a step away. “She doesn’t know, then.”

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, and that just piqued Kairi’s curiosity even further.

“Doesn’t know what?”

His eyes snapped back to her. “Kairi, you’ve violated my trust. I know you probably think this isn’t a big deal, but it is to me. The one thing I asked you not to do, and you couldn’t even keep your promise for a whole week. I understand why you did it. You want to help me, and I get that. But please, _ please _listen to me when I tell you that under no circumstances should you come into my room without my permission.”

“Okay, but can you at least tell me why?” she asked. “I didn’t come here to hurt you, I only did it because I thought it might be the key to helping you. If I know it’s not, then my mind can rest easy, and I’ll look for a different way. No, together we can look for a way.” 

He hung his head in defeat. “I… I can’t.”

“Then I can’t make any promises. I have a moral obligation to help you.”

“And I have a moral obligation to help you!” he snapped. “If I let you go in there—”

“What? What’ll happen?”

He groaned. “Why won’t you trust me? Why do you assume the worst about me? Why do you think I made this rule just to piss you off?” 

She bristled at that. “I didn’t say that you did!”

“Then why do you keep arguing with me about this?!”

“Because you won’t tell me the truth!” she shot back. “You’re hiding something and I know it!”

“Did you ever think I might be hiding it for a good reason?” he demanded, his golden eyes wild. 

Naminé’s warning rang through her head again, but she pushed it aside. “Yes! I just want to know what that reason is!”

“You’re my whole world! What other reason do you need?”

Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. To suspect it was one thing. To hear it from the very source was another altogether. 

Sora reached for her, then let his hand fall to his side. “Kairi, you mean… everything to me. I thought… I thought you felt the same.”

His voice broke on the last few words, and all of the guilt she’d been carrying around for weeks over her behavior descended on her all at once. There could be no more denying or rationalizing it; she’d hurt Sora, and she’d hurt him deeply.

“Riku was right,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “He warned me it would be cruel to marry you, and he was right.”

Sora started crying, and that was far worse than his anger. She’d rather fight with him again than see him cry like this. He was usually so strong, so cheerful, and she’d reduced him to this. His eyes were rimmed with red and his face was blotchy and a part of her wanted desperately to hug him and comfort him.

“You don’t love me anymore, do you?” he said through his tears, his voice shaking. “You only married me so you could save me. So you could complete your mission. So you could do your duty. Kairi, why? _ Why? _What’s happened to you? What’s happened to your heart?”

She burst into tears. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

What had happened to her? What had happened to them?

“I thought… a new world, a new chance… but I was wrong. If you don’t love me, there’s nothing I can do.”

She hated how hopeless he sounded. Hated how deeply she’d broken him. That was all she was good for, breaking him. The perfect tool for the job. 

“No, don’t say that, please! I can… I can learn to love you again. I still remember what it was like. All those separations are what tore us apart, not a lack of care! And now—now we’re finally together again. We can make it work. Please, just give me another chance!”

He wiped his eyes. “Enough. You can’t force yourself to love me any more than I can force myself to stop loving you.”

“Sora?”

His eyes met hers at the sound of his name, and a fresh wave of tears hit him. “Just go. Please.”

She shook her head. “I won’t. I want to help. I want to talk about this. I want to fix it.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, and he shuddered and turned away from her. Darkness was leaking out of him now, and his voice was cold when he spoke. 

“Just stop already,” he said. “I don’t need your comfort or your pity.”

Something inside of her snapped at being spoken to in such a way. At having her attempts at fixing what she’d screwed up shoved to the side.

“Fine! I’ll go!”

“Good.”

“And I… I won’t talk to you!”

“Even better. Because every time you open your mouth, you make things worse.”

She bristled at that. “Do not.”

“Do too.”

Ugh, they sounded like two kids fighting right now, but she couldn’t resist responding. “Do not.”

“Do too. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation right now. You’re still arguing with me after what you’ve said to me? After what you’ve done to me? After marrying me when you don’t even love me anymore? After breaking my heart because you don’t care if I get hurt so long as I’m ‘saved’?” 

“Enough!” she snapped. “Now you’re the one making it worse. I’m going to bed now. I’ll see you in the morning, _ Your Majesty. _”

He whirled around and glared at her. “Likewise, Your Majesty. I’m so glad I crowned you queen today.”

“I wish you hadn’t!” she choked out, and she meant the words with all of her heart. “Then maybe you wouldn’t be so miserable!” 

His face scrunched up. “Kairi—”

“Loving me has brought you nothing but pain. You would be better off if you’d never met me!”

He was crying again and she was crying again, and she couldn’t take this anymore. She turned and fled, stumbling a few times because she could barely see through her tears. When she was safely back in her room, sprawled on her bed, she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. 

Why did he love her? She hadn’t done anything to deserve his love. Even when she had loved him, his love had always made hers pale in comparison. Her protection seemed insignificant in light of his sacrifice. And now his love for her was going to destroy what was left of him from the inside out. She couldn’t bear to watch it happen. It felt like someone was trying to destroy her from the inside out, too.

“Riku, Naminé,” she said, sniffing and wiping her eyes, “you better have some advice for me tonight, because I don’t know what to do.”

She paused. No. She wasn’t the one who deserved help. “Help him, please,” she begged. “Help Sora. He’s the one who needs it, not me. Please, Riku, Naminé, anyone.”

That was the best she could do for now: hope someone would hear her call for help. Sora needed it more than she did right now. He needed his friends.

* * *

“So much for that,” Sora told the monster in the mirror. “What did I tell you? The first chance she got, she betrayed you.”

It just cried. Pathetic.

“And now you know. Now you know she doesn’t love you. Give up already.”

It sobbed harder. 

“Good thing I found her before she made it in here. If I hadn’t, she could’ve found the black box, and then you really would have a reason to cry.”

Its crying got even louder at the prospect of Kairi finding the black box. 

Sora rolled his eyes. “Yeah, keep crying. That’ll solve everything.”

“Enough,” came a new voice, a new creature in the mirror. Its owner glared at Sora, then looked at the monster with pity, resting a hand on its shoulder. Instead of getting the monster to stop crying, though, that just made it cling to the newcomer and sob even harder.

“Roxas,” it wept. “Roxas, you’re really here.”

Roxas knelt beside the monster. “I don’t have much time. It took too long to find you as it was. But Kairi begged us for help, and Naminé located your heart long enough for me to come.”

“Kairi asked you to come?” the monster asked, sniffing and wiping its eyes.

Roxas smiled. “Yeah. She’s worried about you, you know.”

“But why? She doesn’t love me anymore,” the monster said, choking on the words. “How could she? I’m a monster."

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Roxas said, gently cradling the monster’s face in his hands. “You look pretty human to me. Your heart’s a wreck and your emotions are a mess, but hey. If that isn’t human, I don’t know what is.”

The monster started crying again, and Roxas turned and glared at Sora. “What have you been telling yourself? Don’t you see what you’re doing to your own heart? It’ll never heal if you keep beating it down like this.”

“Why should I let it heal?” Sora said. “Letting it heal just means it’ll get broken again.”

“You know, the old Sora would’ve told me it was worth it anyway. That love is worth the cost.”

“Well guess what? I’m not the old Sora anymore.”

“No, you’re not,” Roxas agreed. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t heal. That you can’t love again. And the first person you need to love is—”

“Kairi,” Sora said, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, I know. I have to love Kairi, even though she does nothing but hurt me and disappoint me.”

“Wrong,” Roxas said, calmly, coolly. “The first person you need to love is yourself.”

With a few more reassuring words for the monster along with a quick hand squeeze, he faded away. The monster looked from where he had disappeared back to Sora, then cowered away from him.

Love himself? Yeah right. How could he ever love a monster like that? Loving Kairi even after she’d hurt him seemed a lot easier by comparison.

That, at least, he and the monster could agree on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos on the previous chapter! 
> 
> This one was a bit of a painful one to write with Sora and Kairi's argument, but the moments during the coronation and the scene with Roxas helped balance that out. I'm really looking forward to sharing the upcoming chapters with you all, and I hope you enjoy them!
> 
> Until next time!


	7. Duty of Care

When Kairi woke up, her face was streaked with dried tears and her nose and throat felt thick. 

If nothing else, she should at least apologize to Sora for what she had said yesterday. For getting into a childish argument with him. For betraying his trust. Maybe he would throw her out. Demand an annulment. But it wouldn’t be right if she didn’t even try to talk to him. 

She dragged herself out of bed and over to the shower. The hot water running over her body helped clear her head, and she got dressed afterwards and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail.

Thankfully, the whole court had arranged the day’s schedule based on the assumption that everyone would be hungover, and for Kairi at least that wasn’t the case. Her stomach rumbled, and now seemed as good a time as any to get something to eat. She slipped over to the small dining room where Marcus was hovering outside. 

“Good morning, Your Majesty! You’re the first one up.”

She took her seat at the table, and soon afterwards, he brought her morning tea. Strawberry with a little cream. Nothing like tea to make everything feel better.

A few minutes later, and Marcus opened the door again. It was Sora. Of course. He was the only other person who hadn’t been drinking, so it made sense that he was awake now, too. Dark circles lingered under his eyes, and he was dressed casually, in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. 

Their eyes met, and she nearly dropped her tea. Her mouth went dry and she wanted to sink into the ground. But she forced herself to stay and deal with the discomfort. After yelling like she had last night, the least she could do was apologize. 

“Marcus, would you leave us for a few minutes?” Sora asked.

“No problem.”

The door closed behind him, and the two of them were alone.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of her mouth, and his, too. They both stared at each other for a moment, and then she ducked her head as he took the seat next to her. Before she could say the rest of her carefully-worded apology, though, he kept talking. 

“Kairi, I’m sorry for how I behaved last night. I had no right to yell at you like that, and I made some really childish comments because I was hurt and angry, not because they were true. I can’t blame you for being curious about what’s behind my door, either. The most I can tell you is that your safety will be in danger if you look. I made that rule to protect you. Please believe me when I say that everything I do is to protect you.”

She looked up. Had Riku and Naminé heard her desperate plea for help? Sora certainly… seemed to be doing better now.

“As for the other stuff… it hurt, but… the heart wants what the heart wants, and… I understand why you don’t…” 

He choked on the words, and it felt like something had wrapped its fingers around her heart and squeezed.

“Um, anyway,” he said, clearing his throat. “Today I was planning on meeting with a lawyer to see about getting our marriage annulled. I can find one for you, too, so that you have a voice in everything. I want to make sure you’re still cared for and provided for until we find a way to get you home. This relationship might not have worked out, but I can still take care of you like I promised until then.”

He… he was giving up on her? He was giving up on their marriage? 

A lump built in her throat, and the fingers around her heart squeezed tighter. His expression changed, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Kairi?” 

Something about the way he said her name was the final straw. She burst into tears, and he just stared at her in bewilderment, lifting a hand and then lowering it, looking around like he was searching for someone to turn to for help.

“You don’t… want an annulment?” he finally asked, and that just made her cry harder. At the sight of more tears from her, his expression morphed into panic.

“Kairi, I’m sorry, I thought you did, I thought you wanted to be free from me—”

“You thought wrong,” she sobbed as she set her napkin on the table and stood.

“Kairi wait, can we please just talk about this!”

But she was already retreating to her room, and he didn’t follow after her. She was in no state to talk about this right now. Not with how much of a sobbing wreck she currently was. 

She flopped on her bed and wept. A gilded cage. That was what this marriage was, nothing more than a gilded cage. She and Sora were trapped together, and neither of them were happy about it. He’d given up, too. Given up on her, given up on their relationship, given up on the chance of her falling in love with him again. He wanted an annulment, and he thought she did, too. 

What had happened to the Sora who never gave up on anything? The Sora who fought for her with all his heart? And now he was just giving up? What had happened to him, to both of them? She missed the old him, missed how close they used to be. Was that why she had started crying when he suggested an annulment? Was there a part of her that couldn’t let go of the past, no matter how much things had changed?

She wiped her eyes. Even now her cheeks were still streaked with tears. She’d meant to apologize to him, and she had, sort of, but then things had gotten out of hand again, and the next thing she knew, she was crying. Stupid emotions getting the better of her. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to end their marriage, and yet a part of her was still angry and hurt that he had just assumed that was what she wanted instead of talking it through with her first.

His words echoed through her mind. The heart wants what the heart wants, indeed. 

She didn’t know how long she had been laying there when there was a knock on the door. It was Marcus, with her lunch on a rolling cart.

“Hey, Your Majesty. His Majesty asked me to bring your food to you today. I’m sorry you’re tired from the coronation, and I hope you feel better.”

Sora had given the servants instructions to let her lie low. That was thoughtful of him… or maybe he just thought she was too much of a mess to make any public appearances today. Too emotional. Too out of control. An embarrassment to him and to his name. 

She took the silver lid off the food. It smelled delicious, asparagus with rosemary and butter, meatloaf, and mashed potatoes. 

“Thank you, Marcus.”

“Sure. I’ll be back in a little while to pick up your dishes when you’re through with them.”

She could only pick at the food. Not only was her marriage a failure, her mission was, too. She was still no closer to saving Sora. If anything, she’d made things worse. All she was good for was disappointing people, again. That hadn’t changed in the years since she’d first picked up a Keyblade.

After lunch and after Marcus had picked up her dishes, she dragged herself back out of bed. Laying around feeling sorry for herself wouldn’t help. She had to do something to get her mind off of everything.

When Alma came by to check on her, she asked for a sketchbook and pencils. Alma returned within an hour with the requested items, and Kairi spent the rest of the afternoon sketching the garden visible from her window. It helped to get her mind off of things, and when Marcus brought her dinner that night, she felt a little better. She managed to finish half her food this time before crawling under the covers and falling asleep.

* * *

The monster had been pacing in his bedroom mirror for ages now, and Sora crossed his arms and sighed as he watched it. 

“She doesn’t… want an annulment?” it said.

“Guess not.”

“But I thought she didn’t love me. If that’s true, why doesn’t she want to be free from me? Shouldn’t she be relieved I’m giving her that option?”

Sora rolled his eyes. “She probably doesn’t even know what she wants. For having a heart of pure light, she sure is hard to understand sometimes.”

The monster shook its head. “No. This is only confusing because she’s confused. She doesn’t know her own heart anymore. If she really knew what she wanted, she wouldn’t be struggling so much.”

“Don’t kid yourself,” Sora snapped. “She feels guilty about abandoning her ‘mission,’ that’s all. Getting an annulment would mean she failed at saving me. Her duty is all she cares about anymore.”

The monster shook its head again, and Sora didn’t like the look on its face. “You’re wrong,” it said, “and I’m gonna prove it.”

Sora just groaned. “Here we go again. You’re just setting yourself up for more heartbreak.”

But the monster was gone. It was just his reflection that stared back at him now.

* * *

Kairi’s dreams that night were a bizarre mashup of her argument with Sora, Riku and Naminé telling her to talk to Sora, and Sora trapped in a cage that was slowly filling with darkness instead of water. He didn’t even ask for help, just stood there as the darkness swallowed him, a horrible, empty look in his eyes as it did, like he had nothing left to live for, nothing left to fight for. It was only when she called his name and held her hand out to him that he lifted his head and reached towards her, a spark of blue in his eyes, a spark of hope.

The dream ended before she could reach him, of course, and she woke up covered in a cold sweat. 

“Sora?” 

But there was no response, and she sighed and rolled over. She lingered in bed for a few more moments, then forced herself to get up. She had just returned from brushing her teeth when Alma came in to inform her that Sora had invited her to go check out the new stables built in honor of her coronation.

“Wait, His Majesty wants to meet with me today?”

Alma nodded. “If you’re feeling up to it. He stressed that this was only to happen if you wanted it to.”

Maybe riding horses would help get her mind off of it all, and she couldn’t avoid Sora forever. Especially not… especially not after that dream. 

“You know what? Why not. Tell him I accept his invitation.”

Alma went to do as she asked, and she didn’t feel like waiting to get dressed. Cornelia had made her an outfit that would be perfect for the occasion, and now was as good an excuse as any to wear it. As she placed a top hat on her hair to complete her riding habit, there was a gentle knock on the door.

“You can come in, Alma,” she said, adjusting the hat till it was at just the right angle on her head. She half expected Alma to playfully scold her for getting ready without her assistance again. 

But instead of her dear lady-in-waiting, Sora was the one who opened the door. She stared at him as he fidgeted with one of his buttons. His riding outfit looked better than it had any right to. Tight pants with boots was a good look for him.

He cleared his throat. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

“Um… I’m ready to go if you are,” he said stiffly, avoiding her eyes. 

No “How are you feeling today”? No “Sorry I threatened to end our marriage yesterday”? Not even an apology? Was he really going to pretend everything was fine? Just carry on and act like nothing happened, like all was right in the worlds because the alternative was too painful?

Ugh, she was sick of this. This reminded her of how he was even before all this ruling business. Always running from his negative emotions and slapping a smile on his face even when he was dying on the inside. She had half a mind to slam the door in his face, but the stubborn part of her refused to cancel their plans. She was many things, but she wasn’t a coward. She wouldn’t run away.

“I’ll meet you outside when _ I’m _ ready, Your Majesty,” she said, and she instantly regretted the words. 

But he just nodded. On the way out, he hesitated for a moment, but if there was something on his mind, he didn’t say. The door closing behind him was almost as cold and stiff as his manner.

Sad, really, how the warmest person she knew had been reduced to this. If the stories were true, he had sealed the darkness inside himself. That seemed consistent enough with her own fragmented memories. But then… what had happened to his light? What had broken his heart? Why had he been in such a sorry state when she’d come to? Where had his hope gone?

Maybe that was why she didn’t want to get an annulment. If she and Sora separated, her last chance at helping him would be gone. After everything that had happened, she owed it to him to try. Owed Riku and Naminé and the rest of their friends, too.

That was it. That was why she’d been upset. It had to be. Feeling better that she knew the reason behind her tears yesterday, she put on her gloves and opened the door. 

* * *

Kairi had been horseback riding on and off through the years, but Sora had hired a riding instructor for her all the same. Of course _ he _ already knew how to ride a horse, and really well at that. Must be nice to wander from world to world picking up new hobbies and skills while your girlfriend waited for you to never come home before going after you, only to—

“Your Majesty?” came the riding instructor’s voice as she rode up alongside Kairi. She was a petite woman with long dark hair swept back in a braid, and she made horseback riding look effortless.

“Yes? Sorry, Poppea, I got a little distracted.”

“It’s easy to do, with the weather as beautiful as it is today, Ma’am.”

“Yes.”

Kairi glanced up at the sky. It felt good to cast her worries aside for a while and just lose herself to the steady rhythm of riding. The horse in question was a silky black gelding named Midnight, and the two of them were getting along splendidly.

Poppea practiced trotting and loping with her for a while, then set her loose to practice on her own some more. She and Midnight were going along at a nice lope, and she was enjoying the wind whooshing through her ears and the slightly terrifying, slightly exciting feeling of not being entirely in control of the majestic creature beneath her when Sora found her.

“Kairi,” he called, his voice carrying over the breeze. His horse was a little wild looking, a chestnut-colored mare named Misty with a tendency to bolt, but he was handling the challenge well. She pulled back on the reigns and eased Midnight into a steady walk so they could talk more easily.

“What is it?” she asked, her voice cool. For a moment she almost saw Sora as he used to be, and the realization that he wasn’t fully himself was still crushing.

“Do you like him?” he asked, nodding at Midnight. 

Kairi patted Midnight’s neck. “Yes. He’s a very good horse.” 

Midnight whinnied appreciatively at her praise.

“He’s yours, then.” Sora clicked his tongue and gave his horse a nudge with his heels, leaving her to stare after him as he took off.

Had he really just—

No. She wouldn’t let herself be fooled. If he was trying to buy her forgiveness, it wouldn’t work. 

She carefully avoided him the rest of the afternoon and ignored the growing pain in her feet. These were brand new boots, and it had been kind of dumb of her to just put them on and try to wear them all day without breaking them in first.

By the time Midnight’s shadow had grown long and it was time to turn in for the day, she couldn’t ignore the pain anymore. Her feet hurt so badly she was afraid to even try to dismount.

“Is everything alright, Ma’am?” Poppea asked as she led her horse to its stall, her brow furrowed.

“I’m fine,” Kairi said, bracing herself for the inevitable. She had to dismount on her own if it killed her. One, two, three—

She placed all her weight on her left foot as she swung her right leg behind Midnight, and ugh did it hurt. What hurt even worse was when her right foot connected with the ground. She let out a low hiss, her left foot still in the stirrup as she tried to push through the pain long enough to continue.

At long last, she got her left foot out of the stirrup and let it join her right foot on the ground. But that was as far as she could manage. When she tried to move forward to lead Midnight to his stall, her legs nearly gave out, it hurt so badly. She just stood there, clutching his reigns tightly in one hand, unable to move.

“Kairi, what’s wrong?” Sora asked, because of course he had noticed something was amiss. Ugh. He was the last person she wanted to talk to right now.

“I’m fine,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady as she avoided his eyes.

“You’re gripping the reins so hard your knuckles are turning white.”

“S-so? I’m just trying to make sure Midnight here doesn’t run off.”

Sora just gave her a look that told her he wasn’t buying it. She had to prove him wrong, had to show him she didn’t need his help. But when she tried to take a step forward, pain shot up her entire leg and her knees buckled beneath her.

“Ma’am!” Poppea cried as Sora swooped her up into his arms. He lifted her with ease, forcing her to look into his eyes when he readjusted his grip around her back and under her knees as he started the slow walk through the stables back to the Keep.

It was dim and smelled like hay and manure and Kairi hated this, she hated being helpless, she hated depending on him like this when she wanted nothing to do with him. Poppea was leading Midnight to his stall and was well within earshot, though, so she couldn’t even argue properly with Sora.

“Put me down,” she hissed, kicking her legs a little. “I’ll be fine.”

“No. Your feet are hurting so badly you can’t even stand,” he said, his golden eyes hard. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

She refused to answer that. He knew why.

“Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of,” he said as they emerged from the stables into the cool late afternoon breeze.

“It is if it’s from you.”

He masked the wounded look in his eyes remarkably quickly. “Poppea can’t carry you back to the Keep, so it has to be me.”

She just glared at him.

He sighed. “Look, I know you’re upset with me right now, and you have every right to be. I hurt you, and no amount of apologies can make up for that. But I’ll apologize anyway. I’m sorry, Kairi. I’m sorry for assuming I knew what you wanted instead of listening to what you had to say.”

She just stared at him. He understood why she was hurt?

“I don’t… I don’t want an annulment,” he said. “I only suggested it because I thought you wanted one.”

“But I… I don’t.”

“Then forgive me for assuming you did.”

She had to look away. Right now, he was carrying her like she was his bride, keeping her safe and protected in his arms till they made it back to the Keep. It reminded her so much of how they used to be that she couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. 

“Only if you’ll forgive me for all the terrible things I’ve said to you,” she finally said. “For being so selfish and cruel.”

“I already have,” he said softly, tenderly, and she studied his face as he carried her. She still hadn’t gotten used to his golden eyes, but there was something of his old gentleness in them. She also noticed the dark circles under them, and it struck her that he looked tired. Just really, really tired.

Was part of that… because of her?

But he didn’t seem to have any trouble carrying her. He’d lifted her with ease, in fact. Then why—

His eyes met hers, and he said, “We’ll be back soon. Hang in there.”

The servants fussed over her as he brought her into the Keep, but he dismissed them all, much to her relief. Right now she wanted to sit down and do nothing but tend to her poor aching feet in the privacy of her room.

But Sora took her to the sitting room where a nice fire was already going instead. He gently laid her on the couch and put a blanket over her shoulders.

“Wait here,” he said.

“Can’t really go anywhere anyway,” she pointed out as he disappeared through the doorway. She was still trying to get her boots off by the time he came back.

He’d taken off his jacket and was holding a bowl of water in one hand and ointment and gauze in the other. A towel was draped over his shoulder, and before she could ask what he was doing, he knelt at her feet. 

She just stared at him as he looked up into her eyes. It wasn’t at all like the hard look he’d given her before. No, this look was almost—

“May I?” he said softly, and it fully hit her what he intended to do.

After a moment, she nodded, and he set the bowl of water and bandages and ointment on the ground.

“This might hurt,” he warned as he slowly eased the boot off of her foot. She winced, and he stopped and apologized, letting her recover for a few moments before he tried again. 

It was a painful process, but he was careful, and in the end he got the boot off. Her sock was next. When he saw the sorry state her foot was in, covered with blisters and smeared with blood, he grimaced like his foot was the one that was hurting. He repeated the process with her other boot and sock, and that foot looked pretty awful too.

He positioned the bowl beneath her, and she lowered her feet into the warm water. That felt nice if a little painful, and she let out a soft sigh. His hands were gentle as they washed the blood away little by little, tinting the water pink. He went to get fresh water after that, and next he pricked and drained the blisters with a needle. When that was through, he washed her feet a second time, being even more gentle than before.

Neither of them said anything except when he warned her when he was about to do something. It was like there was some sort of spell over them both keeping them silent. Kairi could only stare at him as he tended to her poor, wounded feet like he was her servant and not her king.

He patted her now-clean feet dry with the towel, then applied the ointment to the blisters before wrapping them loosely in gauze.

He hesitated a moment, then looked up at her again. “Better?”

She nodded. “Much better. Thank you.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips at that. “Anything for you, Kairi,” he said softly, and she had to look away. There was something about the way he was looking at her right now that—

“Here, let me carry you to bed,” he said. “I’ll ask the servants to bring you your dinner so you can rest your feet.”

He lifted her into his arms once more, and this time she didn’t struggle against him or tell him to put her down. The walk from the sitting room to her room was a lot shorter than the walk from the stables to the Keep had been, and before long he was laying her down on her bed. 

This was the first time he’d really been inside her room, and—

“Need anything?” he asked as he helped her get comfortable.

“No, I’m good for now, thank you,” she said.

“Good. Your dinner will be ready before you know it.”

With that he left her alone. She was so lost in thought that she almost missed the knock at her door some time later.

“Oh, thank you, Marcus,” she said as he wheeled her dinner in on a cart.

“Of course. His Majesty told me all about what happened. Sorry about your feet.” 

He lifted the cover off the plate, revealing a dish of steaming hot noodles, bean sprouts, tofu, eggs, chicken, pineapple, and shrimp all mixed together with crumbled peanuts sprinkled on top. A Destiny Islands specialty. There were even pieces of paopu fruit mixed in with it.

It was her favorite comfort food, and… only people from Destiny Islands knew how to prepare it like this.

“I didn’t know Priscilla was from Destiny Islands,” she said as her stomach growled and Marcus lifted the tray onto her lap. It had been too long since she’d had this dish, and she couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Priscilla… didn’t prepare this, Your Majesty,” was Marcus’s careful response.

Kairi’s mouth dropped open as she put two and two together. “Then, His Majesty—”

Marcus nodded. “I wasn’t supposed to say, but… gosh, Ma’am, the way the king was looking after you tonight brought a huge smile to my face. I couldn’t keep it to myself.”

“No, thank you for telling me,” she said as she placed her napkin in her lap. Her heart was pounding as she grabbed her fork, thinking about—

“It’s not every day that a king shows how much he cares. He made enough for the rest of us to eat, too. Told us to take the evening off afterwards.”

"He did?"

"Yeah! Best king ever!" He clapped his hand over his mouth and ducked his head. "Oops, sorry, Ma’am, I know I shouldn't speak so casually about His Majesty—"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. He doesn't want people treating him differently just because he's royalty."

"He's a good man, then. Most people in power lord it over other people, but not him."

"Yes," she said softly. "He never really cared about that kind of thing. It was never what was important to him."

That, at least, hadn't changed. She thought of him kneeling at her feet tonight as he washed her bloody, blister-covered feet. Thought of him looking up into her eyes with that soft, tender look in his. That was so much like the old Sora it made her heart ache. Maybe she’d misjudged him.

She thanked Marcus for bringing her dinner after that and told him to give her compliments to the chef. The food really was delicious, and Sora had made it just the way she liked. Even after all this time, even after everything that had happened, he hadn’t forgotten. He still remembered. He’d apologized for suggesting an annulment, too.

But she was getting ahead of herself. Still, the thought was enough to keep her awake long after that and seeped into her dreams once she’d fallen asleep.

How much of the old Sora was still left?

* * *

“So, you’ve decided to keep trying,” Sora said to the monster as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. “Why?”

It was calm, at peace as it imitated his every move. 

“She apologized for hurting me. She let me tend to her injuries when she could’ve just pushed me away.” Its voice was very soft now. “I know her. If she had given up on me, on our relationship, she wouldn’t have accepted my care.”

“Wake up, idiot. She’s just using you.”

It hesitated. “I don’t think she is. I saw the way she looked at me tonight.”

Sora threw his head back and laughed. “Are you blushing? Are you actually blushing? Man, you are pathetic.”

“No, _ you _are,” the monster shot back, its eyes narrowing. “You’re so scared of getting hurt that you’re afraid of your own heart. But you can’t fool me. You still care about Kairi, no matter what you might say.”

For once, Sora was the one who was silent for a few moments. Then he finally said, “Easier to care about her than about myself, huh?”

The monster nodded, and Sora sighed. That, again, they could agree on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you once again to everyone who left comments and kudos! Your support means a lot to me. 
> 
> I was really excited to share this chapter, because it marks a turning part for Sora and Kairi and their relationship. I hope the fluffy moments make up at least somewhat for all the angst of the last chapter, haha. 
> 
> Until next time!


	8. Halloween Scare

Now that Kairi was officially queen, she started attending meetings with Sora’s advisors and prominent nobles about policies and laws. 

Their reaction to her was… mixed. As she was a “peasant” by birth and hadn’t really entered this realm the normal way, her very presence here made some of them squirm, some of them peer down their noses at her, and most of them pretend like she didn’t matter. 

Sora had other ideas. While everyone sat at a huge round table to ensure no one was above anyone else, he made sure her seat was right next to his. That earned her some raised eyebrows, and when Julia and Cornelia came to visit her one afternoon, they filled her in on all the latest gossip.

According to the news on the street, Kairi was, and Cornelia quoted, “a grubby little social climbing gold digger who married the king for his wealth and power.” 

The three of them wound up sprawled across the floor of Kairi’s room laughing at that. Kairi, who had foregone the usual full retinue of ladies for Alma alone and thus was saving the kingdom hundreds of thousands of munny a year. Kairi, whose idea of a happily ever after was a nice, quiet life back on Destiny Islands, not a life spent in the castle. It was amusing how far off the gossips were. 

Julia sat up and patted Kairi on the head. “Now, love, it’s because they don’t understand. Their lives revolve around munny and fame and tryin’ to get more of both, and they don’t get why anyone else could think otherwise.” 

No less unrealistic, but a little more hurtful, were the rumors that said Kairi must be some kind of sex goddess for Sora to have married her. Hardly. Sora had avoided any sort of sexual contact with her since their wedding night. After carrying her back from the stables and tending to her feet, he’d hadn’t really touched her at all.

While the rumors were usually a source of amusement to her, especially the more outlandish ones (one theory secretly guessed that Sora had come into a lot of munny by marrying her), Sora didn’t see them the same way. She met him at breakfast one morning, and he had a huge scowl on his face. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she sat down and Marcus poured her morning tea, chamomile with honey and vanilla.

“Don’t people ever get tired of running their mouths about our private lives?”

Kairi poured a little cream into her tea. “We’re celebrities now, so no.” She added a few cubes of sugar and carefully stirred till the tea was just the right consistency. “What are they gossiping about this time?”

“You.”

She just rolled her eyes. “Of course. Easier for them to attack the gold-digging peasant than the rightful heir to the throne.”

Sora groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. “They’re not even right. You’re the one who was a princess.”

“Of Heart,” she said. “It wasn’t like I had an actual kingdom to rule over.”

“But you were still a princess. I was the ‘dull, ordinary boy’ who came from a backwater world. And yet somehow they think I’m fit to rule and you aren’t.” 

She raised an eyebrow and sipped her tea. “As if I didn’t come from that same world.”

“You’re from Radiant Garden, Kairi.” 

“But my home is Destiny Islands, my king.” 

The words tumbled out of her mouth easily, but Sora paused with his coffee mug halfway to his mouth to look at her. 

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“No, it’s just… never mind,” he said, bringing the cup the rest of the way to his mouth and hiding his face from her. 

She gave him a curious look, but he didn’t bring it up again. Breakfast went by, and then it was time for more meetings. After a particular tense one with the treasurer and the heads of a few prominent noble families, Kairi followed after Sora as he exited the meeting room.

“My king,” she said once they were in the hall, and he stopped and looked at her for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing.

“What is it?”

“I don’t think this is working,” she said in a low voice, following after him again. “Me, trying to help you rule. Your advisors don’t like it that I’m butting in when, in their opinion, I’m not qualified to help.” 

“You think I am? You’re just as qualified as me.”

“Maybe, when it comes to military strategy or magic use, but… they don’t see it like that. In their eyes, you are their rightful ruler. I’m just a gold-digging newcomer with no experience. I think it would be better if I watched from the sidelines until I get the hang of things.”

He stopped again and turned to face her. “Okay.”

She did a double take. “Okay?”

“You’re my queen and co-regent. If you think it would be better if you observed the meetings for now, then go ahead.”

She chewed her lip. He was really willing to listen to her on this? 

“I take your input seriously, Kairi.” 

“Thank you.”

His expression softened. “Of course. While we’re at it, is there anything else on your mind?”

She tugged at a strand of hair that had popped out of her updo. “Well, I’ve noticed Lord Aries doesn’t really like me.”

He’d been at the meeting today, and the cold glares he’d thrown Kairi’s way had been enough to make her squirm.

Sora just sighed. “That would be because he wanted me to marry his daughter.”

“Lady Diana?”

“Yup.”

Kairi conjured up an image of Diana in her mind. She had long brown hair and green eyes with a glint in them that betrayed her cunning and wit. Kairi felt like she was being stalked by an elegant bird of prey whenever she saw her, like her every move was being sized up and analyzed. 

“So, why didn’t you?” she asked.

“Well, my advisors were all on board with it, for political reasons, but I said no. Repeatedly.” 

“Because…”

Sora shrugged. “I wanted a partner, an equal. Diana doesn’t care about me. She just cares about the throne.” 

He turned away and continued walking, and the sinking feeling in Kairi’s stomach made her wonder… did Sora think that was all she cared about, too?

* * *

Halloween had always been one of Kairi’s favorite holidays, and going by the spark of excitement in Sora’s eyes, one of his, too. The costumes, the candy, the ghost stories and decorations, face paint and games and trick-or-treating—all of it was a blast. 

Which was why she was excited about the huge Halloween party Sora was hosting. All the citizens of Mare Caelestis were invited, and everyone was buzzing about it weeks before the event. Cornelia stayed busy making people costumes, and Julia was at the wharves from sunup till sundown selling Halloween-themed wares.

But in all the buzz and excitement, Cornelia hadn’t neglected to make Kairi a costume. Kairi slipped it on now, a long, flowing gown that was mostly black with purple accents and droopy sleeves. The top had a built in corset of sorts that laced up and emphasized her chest nicely. A pointy witch’s hat, black silk choker, long boots, and a broom completed the look. Alma helped her makeup look more dramatic than usual, lots of inky blacks and smoky browns and blood red lipstick to cap it all off. The effect was very different from her usual look, and she gave Alma a satisfied nod.

Sora wasn’t waiting outside her door when she was through getting ready, and she frowned and glanced down the hall towards his room. The party would start soon. Would he be upset if she knocked on his door to see where he was? She was banned from going inside his room, but surely knocking would be okay.

“Hang on a moment, Alma, I’m going to see if His Majesty is in his room.”

“Of course. I’ll finish getting ready, if you don’t mind,” Alma said as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail for her pirate costume.

Kairi put her cape on, then lifted her skirts and made her way towards his room. It was darker than usual and awfully quiet. Her footsteps clicked down the hall, the only sound besides her breathing. The further she got, the dimmer the light became. Heart pounding, she quickend her pace till she was in front of his door and—

“Boo.”

She yelped and jumped at least a foot in the air as Sora’s soft laughter echoed through the hallway. 

“Happy Halloween,” he said as she whirled around. He grinned at her, two white fangs glistening amid the rest of his teeth. His face was pale except for the area around his eyes, which was heavily shadowed. This had the effect of making his golden eyes really pop, and his grin got wider as she giggled into her gloved hand.

“You’re a vampire?”

“Yeah. Like the costume?”

She examined him carefully as he pulled an orange pumpkin mask over one of his eyes. He had on a sharp black suit and cape with a high collar and gloves. His crown necklace rested over the top of the black dress shirt he had on underneath, and Kairi had to admit, he made a very good vampire.

“This looks like it was inspired by a world visit,” she teased.

He grinned and winked. “Maybe it was.”

“Halloween Town?”

“How’d you guess?” 

“I know you. That’s one of your favorite worlds. Now your turn to guess what I am,” she said as she pulled her cape closer so he couldn’t see.

He examined her from head to toe, but the black hat was a dead giveaway. “A witch?”

She nodded and threw the cape back so he could see the full outfit. “What do you think?” 

He didn’t say anything for a few moments. His gaze flickered downwards and traveled over her body before he jerked his head back up to meet her eyes.

“You, um, you look…”

She felt her cheeks flushing. “I look what?”

“Like a witch,” he finally said, calmly and evenly. “The guests will love your costume.”

As he turned away and started walking towards the party, she fought the strange sinking feeling in her stomach and followed after him.

Tonight, at least, she could forget about all the things on her mind and have fun.

* * *

When they arrived at the courtyard together, servants were putting the finishing touches on the decorations as the sun went down. Several different ladders were propped against the walls as people hung “Happy Halloween” banners from them. All except for the wall with a bunch of scaffolding. A repair crew had been working on a section of it that had inexplicably come loose the past week, and some scary-looking ghost statues had been placed nearby to discourage people from poking around. 

The rest of the area had been transformed into a spooky lair, with fake cobwebs and rubber spiders strung across every available surface. The food and drink tables were piled high with black, orange, and purple food, and there were great vats of green punch bubbling in cauldrons for the guests. Several tables were dedicated to different types of candy, and another area had a bunch of pumpkins for carving jack-o’-lanterns. 

The evening air was chilly but not too cold yet, the perfect night for a Halloween party. The guests would start arriving soon. In the meantime, she and Sora checked over everything and helped put the final touches here and there with Alma and Octavius hovering nearby.

When the guests began to arrive, Kairi couldn’t help but grin over how creative everyone’s costumes were. She spent the next hour or so flitting from group to group, making sure everyone was having a good time—families with their kids, young couples, elderly people, and everyone in-between.

Which was how she spotted a kid all alone, hovering at the outskirts of the party near the creepy ghost statues. He couldn’t be more than eight. He was dressed as a skeleton, and she frowned and glanced around as she approached him. No parents or other kids were nearby.

“Hey there,” she said, smiling at him to try to reassure him. “Having fun?” 

“Oh, hello, Queen Kairi,” he said with a quick bow. 

“And your name is?”

“Rufus.”

She curtsied deeply. “Rufus, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He cracked a small smile. “Nice to meet you too, Ma’am.”

“So, Rufus, are you here at this party all alone?”

“Yeah, I mean, yes. But it’s okay.”

His expression said otherwise, so Kairi knelt till they were eye-to-eye. “Well, you’re more than welcome to hang out with me for a little while. Would you like that?”

“Yes Ma’am.” 

She and Rufus spent the next few minutes ducking around the ghost statues and copying their scary faces. Rufus laughed at some of her sillier ones, and she at his, till they reached the last one. Its face was twisted into a horrific smile, and it was the closest to the scaffolding. After this she would steer him back to the party, but one last game couldn’t hurt.

“Okay, Rufus, you go first—”

Kairi stiffened. Something was wrong. She whipped her head up to see the scaffolding creaking and swaying above Rufus.

“Rufus!” she cried. 

Instead of moving out of the way, he just froze, his mouth dropping open. Her limbs moved before her brain could command them to, pushing him out of the way and summoning her Keyblade to cast a barrier around him. But that was all she could do. She was out of time. 

She covered her head and braced herself for the worst as she heard someone shout her name. Not Your Majesty, not Queen Kairi, just Kairi. Then something collided with her and knocked her to the ground, knocking the wind out of her, too. Seconds later, the scaffolding came crashing down. A sharp cry sounded out, but she felt nothing. She expected the scaffolding’s heavy weight to crush her, but it didn’t. Her eyes fluttered open, and she gasped.

Sora was hovering above her, holding up part of the collapsed scaffolding with one arm while the rest weighed down his shoulder and back. His other arm was on the ground near her, bracing himself along with his legs. Darkness was seeping off of him, and his face was twisted into a grimace, the fear and anguish in his eyes making her heart thud. He had really done this for her? He had let the scaffolding fall on top of himself to protect her?

In that moment, they weren’t king and queen. They were two teenagers fighting for their lives back at the Keyblade Graveyard. She could almost taste the dust in her mouth, almost feel the dry wind on her skin. 

But then he winced, and his pain snapped her back to reality.

“Hang on, I’ll get us out of here,” she said, lifting a shaking hand to his face. “Rufus, are you okay?” she called.

A very scared voice answered her. “Y-yes Ma’am. The stuff didn’t fall on me.”

“Good. And you’re out of danger now? Nothing’s about to fall on you?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

She removed the barrier around him and cast a barrier around her and Sora. Sora groaned and collapsed into a pile on top of her now that he no longer had to hold up all that weight. His darkness was starting to fade, and her arms instinctively went around him.

“Hang on, Kairi!” Alma’s panicked voice called. “Rufus is with us, he’s fine, and—”

“We’ll get you out of there!” Octavius said.

“Right. Thank you Alma, Octavius. We’re both alive, but please hurry.”

She turned her attention back to Sora. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “I’m alive. You’re alive. It’s okay.”

His arms went around her, too, and his breathing was ragged as they lay there, holding each other. All she could think of in that moment was how lucky they were. How lucky they both were to be alive. 

“You saved me,” she said, tears stinging her eyes as she thought about what this easily could have cost him. “Thank you.” 

He pulled back a little, and the look in his eyes right now, the raw want and pain and need, stirred something deep within her. She was just holding him like anyone deserved to be held after a brush with death. How starved was he for human warmth that it was enough to make him look at her like this?

Then the moment was over as he slumped in her arms again. Panic settled in her stomach. If he was in pain, why wasn’t he healing himself? Was he unable to?

She glanced at the splintered wood surrounding them. She probably had enough time to do some preliminary healing before anyone would notice. The green glow of light spread from her fingers and up and down his spine, and he groaned in relief as her magic healed his hurting back.

“That’s right, I’ve got you,” she murmured as his soft moans and sighs continued with each of her healing touches. He might have been badly injured, but not for long. The servants could tell the miraculous story of how the king managed to get by with merely some swelling and bruising once they freed them. 

She held him, her energy draining as she poured her light into her healing magic until the guards had cleared enough of the debris to break through. She had to stop what she was doing as soon as they did—no one else but Sora knew she could use magic, and she wanted to keep it that way. Though it might be too late already anyway, considering her display earlier.

The looks of pure relief on Alma and Octavius’s faces when they saw them safe and sound, on Rufus and Cornelia and Julia’s faces, on all the worried guests’ faces, made Kairi feel like bursting into tears. It was only with a great deal of effort that she controlled herself. 

“We’re alive, thanks to His Majesty’s efforts,” she said.

There was a loud cheer at that, and she offered them a quick smile.

“My king,” she said softly to Sora, “I don’t want you to move until we’re sure your back isn’t injured. If your spine is at all damaged, you could become paralyzed if you try.”

She was pretty sure it wasn’t, at least not anymore, but it was better to err on the side of caution. She hadn’t gotten to finish healing him yet, either, and his shoulder was probably still injured.

She turned her attention to Alma. “Call Dr. Valens, please.” Next she addressed the crowd at large. “My apologies to everyone, but I’m afraid we’ll have to cut the party short early. Octavius, thank you for your help so far. Would you make sure everyone here gets the treats we arranged for them to take home?”

Octavius gave her a brief nod. He understood, at least, that in times of tragedy, the people needed a diversion. He set his guards to start herding guests away from the scene, giving her and Sora some much-needed space till Dr. Valens could arrive and start treating Sora.

“His spine doesn’t seem like it’s damaged,” was the doctor’s conclusion after carefully checking Sora as best he could in his current position, “but gosh, his shoulder may be dislocated, and there’s probably gonna be some bruising and swelling. And you and Rufus should be checked for shock. Let’s get So—I mean, His Majesty off of you and into a room away from prying eyes. I’ll get my supplies, and you can heal him.”

“How… how did you know I could—”

He put a hand over his mouth before clearing his throat and looking away. “I know the effects of magic when I see it. Now, Your Majesty,” he said, addressing Sora, “do you mind if we roll you onto this stretcher?”

Sora shook his head, but it was clear even that was painful for him. His face was locked into a grimace the whole time they got him onto the stretcher, and Kairi was finally free to stand. Dr. Valens checked her and Rufus for shock before going to fetch his supplies. Someone found her a blanket and draped it over her shoulders as he’d ordered, and she pulled it closer, not even sure where her cape and witch hat had gone. She followed two of Octavius’s guards as they carried Sora into the nearest room, a small drawing room with an enormous red velvet couch. 

“Thank you,” she said as they set the stretcher down on the couch. “I’ll take things from here. Go ahead and finish helping Octavius, please.” 

They bowed and dismissed themselves, and it was just her and Sora here. 

“Can you sit up?” she asked. He didn’t answer her, just did as she asked with another wince. “Okay, good. Now, I’m going to take your suit jacket and shirt off—”

“I can do it,” he mumbled, the fingers of his right hand already fumbling with the buttons of his suit jacket. His left he kept cradled at his side. She removed her gloves so she could help him more easily, and he winced again as she helped him get the suit jacket off. He insisted on unbuttoning his shirt, too, avoiding her eyes as he did. Kairi swallowed as she watched him. She hadn’t seen him without a shirt since their wedding night, and—

His shirt slipped off, and she gasped. His left shoulder was dislocated, the joint clearly popped out of its socket, just like Dr. Valens had suspected. The skin around the dislocation was purple and green and blue, to mention nothing of the swelling. And was that darkness tainting the injury? It spread from the center of the dislocation and bruising outwards, little branches and rivulets of it eating into his flesh. He must have used it to have enough strength to protect her, and it had hurt him in the process.

He took one look at her face and drew his knees up to his chest, his eyes carefully avoiding hers. Until she rested her hand on his knee, and his gaze snapped to hers.

“I want to heal this,” she told him. “It’s a darkness-inflicted wound, and I may be the only one who can. But to do that, you’re going to have to let me see you, okay? You’re going to have to let me touch you.” 

He just stared at her for a few moments, then nodded and lowered his knees. She was struck by how vulnerable he must feel right now, half-naked and injured and with no real way to protect or heal himself. Strength was written all over his toned muscles and graceful form, but he was hurting too much to do anything other than what she asked. She focused on warming her hands so this would be as painless for him as possible.

“You can’t use magic anymore, can you?” she asked, trying to get his mind off his pain.

He shook his head. “Not light-based magic, anyway.”

So he really couldn’t use healing magic. The all-powerful king could keep everyone else safe, but not himself. She reached out to gently touch the edges of the wound to figure out the full extent of it, and he winced again.

“Sorry, I’m trying to be gentle.”

“No, it’s fine, it just kinda hurts.”

Dr. Valens came in with his full kit and confirmed her diagnosis, and he gave Sora some painkillers and a sedative. 

“I do the reduction first, and then you heal the darkness?” he asked her. She nodded and offered her hand, and Sora took it in his right.

“Even with the painkillers this may still sort of hurt, and you’re free to squeeze my hand as tightly as you need to,” she told him.

“On the count of three,” Dr. Valens said, “I’m gonna rotate your arm around the shoulder joint until it pops back in. This might take a few minutes, but once your shoulder is back in place, you’ll start feeling better pretty quickly.”

Sora just gripped her hand tighter and nodded. “I’m ready.”

“One, two, three—”

He gritted his teeth and clutched her hand till his knuckles went white, but didn’t make a sound as Dr. Valens rotated his shoulder till it popped back into place. He groaned as it did, the tension leaving his body a few moments later as he relaxed and slumped against the couch.

“I’ll go set up the x-ray machine so I can check to make sure everything’s looking normal,” Dr. Valens said. “Go on and heal the rest of his injury. I’ll be back soon.”

With that they were alone again. At some point before all of this, he’d lost the pumpkin mask and vampire fangs, and his brow and chest were glistening with sweat. He looked so weary, so tired and spent. Part of it could be the sedative, but still. 

“You’re doing great,” she told him, “but we’re not done yet. I’m going to touch you now, okay?”

He nodded, and she gingerly rested her hand on his bruised skin. The light coming from her hand glowed green as it worked its healing magic on him. 

“I noticed you using the darkness. Did you have to, to keep me safe?”

“My power comes at a cost,” he said, his face serious.

She frowned and moved her hand over the entire area, both front and back. He sighed deeply as the swelling went down, his skin returned to its normal color, and she drew the darkness out of the injury. It swirled in the air for a few moments before dissipating, standing no chance against her light.

He looked from her hand resting on his now-healed shoulder to her face. She knew it was over, but… the way he was looking at her right now, she almost wished it wasn’t.

“Thank you,” he said softly, a smile ghosting on his lips.

She nodded. Her hand was still on his shoulder, and she didn’t want to move it. So she didn’t. Instead, she swirled her thumb around his collarbone and gently squeezed. The bruise was gone, but he had a few knots in his shoulder that her fingers quickly found.

“You’re really tense,” she murmured. “Mind if I—”

He shook his head, ever so slightly, and that was the permission she needed.

He just kept watching her, his chest rising and falling as her fingers worked their magic on his muscles. His shirt was still gathered around his waist, and Kairi could see his crown necklace resting on his well-toned chest, see the outlines of his—

She forced her eyes upwards. This was just a way to help him feel better, that was all. He’d been through a harrowing experience tonight, and he deserved some comfort. They both did.

By the time she’d worked all the knots out of his shoulders, Dr. Valens still wasn’t back yet. So she moved around to his back, telling him she wanted to make sure it was okay, too. Her hands started moving again, and he sighed beneath her expert touch.

“What part of your back did the beams land on?” she asked. 

“The middle, a little lower than my shoulder blades. Yeah, right there.”

She drew on more of her light magic for his massage, and it wasn’t long till his breathing evened out and he slumped against the couch.

Had he… had he fallen asleep?

She smiled sadly and rested her hand on his back, tracing patterns onto it. “Oh, Sora. What am I gonna do with you? You’re still as reckless as ever, and I’m still getting myself into trouble. Not a good combination, is it?”

She stood to get a blanket for him, only to see how innocent and peaceful he looked as he slept, like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was like the Sora she had known before, snoozing on the beach like a lazy bum.

Sitting on the couch next to him, she draped the blanket over him, and her fingers trailed down to his chest, tracing the contours of his muscles, getting to know the shape of his body again. She had to know. She had to feel for herself. 

A few moments later, she found it. His heartbeat thudded against her fingertips. He was still a man, then. Still mortal. Still human. Tonight had been proof enough of that, but feeling his heartbeat— 

His eyes fluttered open, and she froze. What was she doing, touching him like this while he was asleep?

But before she could move, he rested his hand over hers. Her own heart skipped a few beats as he gazed into her eyes. He felt so warm and alive, his heart pulsing and his skin flushing and—

“X-ray’s ready, Your Majesties.”

Kairi cleared her throat and pulled away as Sora released her hand and did likewise. She would make a lousy doctor. Always getting caught up in the moment instead of staying cool and objective. This was why she’d chosen to fight and not become a full-time healer.

As Dr. Valens led Sora away to take an x-ray, Kairi had another little guest come to visit.

“Rufus!” she said as he broke away from Alma and ran over to her. He wasn’t wearing his skeleton costume anymore, and Kairi couldn’t help but wonder where his parents were through all this.

“I’m so sorry, Ma’am!” he said as he burst into tears.

“Oh, no, it’s not your fault,” she said as she patted his head and grabbed a tissue out of Dr. Valens’s kit to give to him.

“No, I know,” he sniffed. “What I mean is, the nice man told me to wait over by the ghost statues for you, Ma’am. He said there would be a surprise for me afterwards if I did. I didn’t realize what would happen!”

Kairi’s blood ran cold, and she whipped her head up to meet Alma’s gaze. Alma gave her a grim look, clearly thinking the same thing.

“It’s okay, Rufus,” Kairi murmured. “You didn’t know what would happen.”

But there was a possibility, at least, that someone did. Scaffolding didn’t just come crashing down like that. Something, or someone, had given it a push.

And if that was the case, then someone wanted her dead. Arranging for her to be over there when it came crashing down couldn’t be a coincidence. They’d preyed on her soft spot for kids, too, manipulating her masterfully. Everything had gone perfectly until Sora had come crashing through. They hadn’t accounted for his reckless devotion, for their king throwing himself in the line of fire if it meant his queen would be spared.

They really didn’t know him at all, did they? She was his one weakness. Always had been, and always would be.

Alma stayed with her in her room that night, but even that combined with her exhaustion wasn’t enough to help her sleep. Someone wanted her _ dead, _and she hadn’t had to live like that in a while. Returning to that state was not a welcome feeling. Not at all.

* * *

Sora laid on his bed, his left shoulder still sore and tender. But Kairi was alive and he was alive, and that was all that mattered.

His good hand rested over his heart. Something was stirring inside it, something warm and steady.

The spark was now a small flame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're a little past Halloween now, but I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! The story is roughly keeping pace with the time of year I've been posting (for now), and it's been fun writing about the characters celebrating various holidays and events together. Thank you for the comments and kudos, I really appreciate them!


	9. A Steady Flame

There was something magical about the Play Island at night. The stars shining in the sky overhead, the sea reflecting the sky perfectly on calm nights, the warm sand, the breeze whistling through the trees—

And Kairi in his arms as he kissed her feverishly, desperately, the sounds they were making spurring them both on till his shirt was off and she was straddling him.

“Kairi, we should… we should stop.”

A pout twisted her face as she pulled back from him, and her breath was hot on his cheek. She rested her soft hands on his bare chest and leaned back a little, still on top of him. The strap of her dress had slid off her shoulder, and her chest was heaving and his body was screaming don’t stop, please don’t stop. 

“Why?”

“Because if we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.”

“Maybe that isn’t such a bad thing,” she said as her hand slid to his shoulder and massaged it. “We’ve been together for three years now. Three whole years! I know for a lot of that we’ve been separated, but maybe it’s time we stopped waiting.”

“Kairi, you know why we can’t—”

She looked at him with doe eyes. “I want you, Sora.”

He groaned and lifted her off of him. “And I don’t want to risk getting you pregnant in the middle of a war. Our enemies have always been after you because of me. Imagine what they’d do if they found out you were carrying my child.”

It was Kairi’s turn to groan. “You’re acting like having sex will get me pregnant no matter what.”

“There’s a risk. There’s always a risk. And if you get pregnant, you won’t be able to fight anymore, and we need everyone we can get for this war. And if anything ever happened to you again because of me, if anything ever happened to our child because I was stupid enough to get you pregnant when I have no way of guaranteeing your safety right now, let alone our child’s safety, I—”

“Birth control exists, you know,” she pointed out. “So do other ways of preventing pregnancy, like—”

“Are you on it?”

She hesitated. “No, not yet,” she said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I wanted to talk to you about it first. If you’re ready, if you want this, I’ll go on it tomorrow. We’ll have to wait for about a week, but then…”

“I do want this. More than anything. But even birth control isn’t a guarantee you won’t get pregnant. Neither is anything else. The only guaranteed way to prevent it from happening is to wait. And until I can promise you a safe life for you and any potential children we might have someday, the answer is no.”

Her face fell. “But I don’t want to wait anymore. You could die tomorrow. I could die tomorrow. We could both die tomorrow. Don’t look at me like that, I’m just stating the cold hard facts here. We’re in the middle of a war, like you said. Do you want us to die like this? Having never known each other the deepest way two people can know each other?”

“No,” he finally admitted. “No, I don’t. I…”

“What do you want, Sora?” she murmured, cupping his cheek in her hand. The moonlight made her look even more beautiful than normal, her red hair spilling over her shoulders, her skin soft and smooth, her violet eyes shining. 

“You. I want you. I want to give myself to you,” he said at last. There was no use pretending. No use running away from his desires anymore.

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. “I want that too. I’ll go see my doctor tomorrow, and next week…”

He grinned. “Next week…”

But next week never came. The day they had planned for their first time, they had both been called away on missions, and the ensuing separation had lasted two years. Two whole years. And the next time he’d seen Kairi, well… 

Then this new world, and their marriage, and she didn’t want him anymore. He should’ve said yes to her all those years ago. Then maybe he could’ve enjoyed a week of loving her the way he’d wanted to for years. A week wasn’t long, but it would’ve better than nothing at all.

He sighed and rolled over onto his good shoulder. The other shoulder was still a little tender, and he didn’t want to risk re-injuring it after all of Kairi’s hard work the night before. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine her touching him, picture her with her fingers brushing over his heart. Who cared if she had just been touching him to heal him. He would take what he could get at this point. 

His nice fantasies were interrupted by a knock on the door. He scrambled around for a shirt to throw on when Dr. Valens announced it was just him, here to check up on how he was healing.

“Oh. Come on in, then.”

Dr. Valens checked his shoulder as he sat at his desk and pronounced it was healing well. 

“Though I’m sure you’d rather have Her Majesty checkin’ on you instead,” the doctor said with a wink. Sora fought back the urge to make a comment on that as he put his shirt on. Was it really so obvious how much he still—

Yeah, yeah it was. After yesterday’s display, you would have to be an idiot not to realize. Either that or intentionally obtuse.

Speaking of yesterday’s display, as soon as he was washed and dressed for the day and had left his room to look for Kairi, Octavius found him instead.

“Permission to speak with His Majesty requested.”

“Permission granted.” He led the way to the closest empty room, one of the guest bedrooms that rarely got used, and went inside with Octavius close behind. He had a feeling he knew what this was about.

“Permission to speak my mind requested,” Octavius asked as the door closed behind him.

Yup, sure enough. He was going to get yelled at for yesterday. But he’d asked Octavius to be honest with him despite their differences in station, and Octavius was just trying to do his job. 

Sora sighed deeply. “Permission granted.”

“With all due respect, Your Majesty, what the hell were you thinking?!” Octavius snapped, his eyes flashing. 

“Isn’t it obvious? I wasn’t.”

Octavius groaned and ran a hand through his hair as he paced across the room. “I know. That’s the problem. Whenever Kairi is involved, you don’t think. You just act.”

Sora sighed again and crossed his arms. “You would too, if you were me.”

“No. No. I would trust the guards that I had hired to do their job, who were, in fact, doing their job, to get to her in time! I would not recklessly throw my life away in a way that wasn’t even guaranteed to save her. You’re a good fighter and strategist, and that was the best you could come up with? Throwing yourself between her and the source of danger and hoping it wouldn’t kill you both?”

“That’s what I always did before,” Sora said softly as he examined his hands. “I guess old habits die hard.”

“Well, this one should,” Octavius said grimly. “I’m glad you’re alright, we all just… we worry.”

“I know. Sorry for scaring you. I promise I’ll be more careful in the future. But I think something does need to change about Kairi’s situation. I know she prefers to have only Alma and not a full entourage of guards, but… yesterday was too close.”

“Speaking of which, there’s something else I need to talk to you about. We think yesterday’s incident might not have been an accident.”

Sora felt the blood drain from his face. “Huh?” Surely he didn’t mean—

“Alma and I have begun an investigation, and everything points to Kairi being the target of an assassination attempt.”

Sora’s mouth went dry and an awful feeling settled in his stomach. But why? Who would want Kairi dead? She was the kindest, warmest person he had ever known, bringing smiles and healing wherever she went. Sure, she could sass the best of them, and she’d kinda broken his heart, but… the people had to see what he saw in her. They had to see her light. 

“Unfortunately, Alma and I aren’t really surprised. There are several people who might have a reason to make a move against her like this.”

“Who?” Sora demanded. “Who wanted to kill her?”

Octavius cleared his throat. “We still need to ask some people a few more questions—”

“Who wants my wife dead?” Sora snapped. “Tell me, Octavius. Tell me now. And don’t you dare think of disobeying.”

“This is why you’re not the one doing the investigation,” Octavius said, groaning and resting his head in his hands. “You said it yourself. You don’t think clearly when it comes to Kairi. It would be stupid to risk punishing someone who’s innocent just because you’re angry. We have to make sure the suspect’s guilty before—”

“No! I’m the king, and I’ll do anything to make sure Kairi’s safe. And that means punishing anyone who tries to hurt her. Whoever wanted to kill her is gonna pay with their life instead.”

For once, he had the power to do that. He had the power to make anyone who hurt Kairi get hurt instead. He wasn’t the weak boy who couldn’t protect her anymore. He wasn’t.

“Sora, come on!” Octavius cried, but Sora ignored him and pushed the door open. 

Of course Kairi was waiting outside, her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised. 

“Good morning,” she said. “Glad to hear you’re feeling well enough to contemplate murder.”

“It’s not murder if the person’s guilty,” he said as he went past her. “It’s just punishment.”

“You keep telling yourself that. But take a good long look in the mirror before you do anything else.”

He froze. “Huh?” How did Kairi know about—

Oh. He glanced at the dusty mirror hanging on the wall nearby. The monster wasn’t there, just his reflection. Darkness was wafting off him, and his eyes were cold and hard. He found her eyes, but instead of the harshness from before, her expression had softened.

“My king,” she said, more gently this time, “I don’t want whoever tried to kill me dead. How does that fix anything?”

“It makes it so they can’t hurt you.”

“True, but aren’t there other ways to do that?” She found his hand and wove their fingers together. “I know you can think of a punishment that fits the crime but still respects the would-be assassin’s life.”

He looked into her eyes, and he felt the darkness fade. Felt his breathing even out as he took a step away from the brink. 

“You’re right. I’ve been acting in my anger. I’ve been following my heart, and not in a good way. Sorry, Kairi. Sorry, Octavius.” 

Octavius nodded, and Kairi smiled. She actually smiled, and he felt all warm inside at seeing her smile again. 

“It’s not following your heart that’s the problem,” she said as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Just… make sure your head’s involved, too.”

“Kinda hard for me to do, with you around.”

She giggled and ducked her head, then let his hand slip out of her grasp. “I’ll go on ahead to breakfast. See you in a few, my king.”

He just stared after her till Octavius spoke. “Permission to speak bluntly, Your Majesty?”

“Permission granted.”

“You don’t think with your head or your heart around Kairi. You think with something else entirely.”

Sora’s mouth dropped open in protest, but Octavius had had the good sense to take down the hallway after Kairi. 

“Permission ungranted!” Sora shouted after him. “Permission ungranted, you little—”

Octavius glanced backward, a smirk on his face, and for a moment it reminded Sora so much of Riku that it was like seeing his friend again.

But then Octavius turned around and continued, and all Sora was left with was a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Riku wasn’t here. He and Kairi were alone.

* * *

After the initial scare with Sora’s fury clouding his judgment, he calmed down and let Octavius and Alma finish the investigation. With Rufus’s help, the true culprit was uncovered, and Kairi sat on her throne next to Sora as he got ready to pronounce his judgment. Despite this technically being a closed trial, a lot of people had still managed to weasel their way in and were watching from the sidelines. Octavius and his guards had their hands full today, and Alma was hovering near Kairi.

“Lord Aries,” Sora said, his voice ringing out through the throne room, “it is with great regret that I pronounce my judgment. I wish there wasn’t a need for such a judgment in the first place. But an attack on my wife the queen’s life must be punished.” 

“Your Majesty!” Lord Aries spat, and the onlookers gasped at his insolence. “You declined my daughter, young, kind, gifted in all the arts and all matters of noble birth for… for this?!”

He jerked his shackled hands towards Kairi, and as much as she tried not to let the gossip and insults get to her, this still made her bristle. What was she, an animal? Screw these snooty, stuck-up nobles who thought offing her was an acceptable reaction to disliking her.

She opened her mouth to speak when Sora stood. His face was calm, cool, but Kairi could sense the darkness roiling inside him.

“_This _ is my wife, and I will not tolerate you speaking to her this way. And as for your daughter, _ Sir, _I can safely say that for all her talents and beauty, she would be miserable married to me. She has her nose so high in the air I would never be able to reach her, not even from the highest tower in the castle.”

The audience gasped again, and Kairi nervously glanced around. Lord Aries’s face was turning a mixture of red and purple, and Lady Diana’s eyes were narrowed and her teeth were gritted. But then Kairi noticed several people snickering behind covered mouths. Perhaps the father and daughter were not as popular as they had hoped.

“Kairi,” Sora continued, turning to look at her, “is a Princess of Heart. Her safety ensures the safety of the Realm of Light. Had you succeeded in killing her, you could’ve thrown everything into chaos.” 

It was Kairi’s turn to stare at Sora. He was… he was telling them? The audience looked about as shocked as she felt, too. A few people even had their mouths hanging open as they gawked at her.

“And finally,” Sora said, “I am the king, and I can marry whoever I damn well please. So long as Kairi will have me, anyway. I would never force her to marry me or be with me, unlike you trying to force your daughter on me.”

Lord Aries said nothing, and the entire hall was dead silent. Sora looked out over the crowd, daring them to speak, daring them to disagree with him. In that moment he truly looked like a king, and it had nothing to do with his crown or royal clothes.

He sat down, never breaking eye contact with Lord Aries. “I hereby strip you of your title and banish you permanently from Mare Caelestis. You are to go to an enclosed community off-world of my choosing until your sentence is up. Once it is, your life will be protected so long as you never step foot here again. Should you break this rule, your punishment will be less lenient next time. You have until tomorrow to pack your things and make your goodbyes.”

Aries was fuming at the sentence, but even more tellingly, Lady Diana was, too. Kairi glanced from where she was standing at the front of the crowd to Aries in chains below them. She wouldn’t forget what Sora had done, humiliating her and her father like that. And as her cold gaze met Kairi’s, Kairi knew she would blame her forever, too.

Alma and Octavius hadn’t been able to uncover any clear proof that she had conspired with her father, but Kairi had a gut feeling, deep down, that she had. But until there was clear proof, justice had to take its due course. Sora couldn’t just sentence someone unless the evidence was beyond a reasonable doubt. Well, he could, but what kind of precedent would he be setting?

After Aries had been led away and the crowd had dispersed, Sora stood from his throne and turned to Kairi. “There. Now he can’t hurt you again.”

“But his daughter might be able to,” Kairi said with a sigh. “I saw the way she was looking at us. We’ve made an enemy here today.”

“Which is why you need more protection. Alma is doing a good job, but one person isn’t enough.”

Kairi rose from her throne. “It’s a good thing I can take care of myself, then.”

The only reason she’d gotten into serious danger this time was because Rufus had gotten involved. Most assasination attempts probably didn’t try to drag children into them. And an orphan, at that. At least something good had come out of it. Rufus and his orphanage would never want for anything ever again. 

Sora groaned and rested his head in his palm. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. You need more protectors, Kairi. I doubt Aries and Diana are the only people who have a grudge against you.”

“Well, it’s a good thing my king takes such good care of me, then.”

His breath caught, and she smiled shyly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Increased security will help, and you’re welcome to hire them, but no one keeps me safe the way you can. The paopu fruits’ magic hasn’t stopped working. You’ve always kept your promise, and I know you always will.” 

She smiled again, and Sora looked at her the same way he’d looked at her back then. The intensity of his gaze caught her off guard before she remembered what it was she wanted to do. Glancing around first to make sure they weren’t being watched, she reached up and touched his left shoulder, carefully massaging it through his clothes and letting some of her healing light work its magic on him. 

“How’s that feel?” she asked softly.

His eyes fluttered shut. “Good, feels, feels good—”

“Good.” She worked his shoulder for a little while longer until the knots were gone, then released him. His eyes opened again, and his lips parted as he gazed at her. 

“I think you should get some rest before dinner,” she said. “After today, you deserve it.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

She found his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Rest well, my king.”

She picked up her skirts and made her way towards the double doors where Alma was waiting.

“Kairi,” Sora called, and she turned back to look at him.

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” he simply said, because that was all that needed to be said. She nodded and turned back around, her heart stirring with warmth.

Of all the bad that had happened lately, at least something good had come of this. Sora didn’t seem so much like the unapproachable god-king anymore. He just… seemed like himself. It was a start, and maybe, if they continued on like this, he would heal.

* * *

Something else good came out of all this. After Kairi had protected Rufus, rumors started spreading that she could use a Keyblade and magic. Sora had risked his life to protect her and she had calmly given everyone orders while he was in danger, too, and all that combined with him telling everyone she was a Princess of Heart had improved her image considerably. 

At public appearances, the people had started chanting her name along with Sora’s. When Cornelia and Julia came to visit, they filled her in on how the gossip had changed and (almost) everyone was now singing her praises. And most interestingly of all, people had started treating her and Sora like some sort of supercouple to emulate.

She giggled one morning over breakfast as she looked through a gossip magazine Alma had found for her, the _ Mare Caelestis Reporter. _

“What is it?” Sora asked, setting down his fork full of eggs. 

“They’re turning us into one of those celebrity couples.” She turned the magazine around to show him. “They’ve got a name for us and everything.”

Sora took the magazine from her and flipped through it. Whereas she had found it amusing, he was oddly quiet. 

“Take a page out of the king and queen’s book, huh?” he finally said as he handed it back to her. “What do you think they mean by that?”

“Well, I’m sure you saving me has something to do with it.” She set the magazine aside. “People tend to be moved by acts of sacrifice, my king.”

“And what does my queen think?” he asked, coolly, casually, as he picked his fork back up again.

“She… she was moved, too.”

His expression softened. “I’m glad to hear that. Yours is the only opinion that matters to me.”

He had to leave for a trip after that to negotiate some trade agreements. He didn’t ask her to come with him, instead entrusting her with the running of Mare Caelestis while he was gone. With public opinion in her favor now, it seemed like a good opportunity to show the people she was more than just a pretty face.

By the second day of his absence, she was beginning to wonder how he had managed alone. People were constantly clamoring for her attention, asking her to sign this and approve that, and she was occupied by meeting after endless meeting after endless meeting. When she flopped into bed that night, she passed out almost immediately. 

The third day was one of his sessions of court. Kairi stifled a groan as she entered the throne room and saw the long line of people waiting patiently for her. This was going to take all day, easily, but she wanted to make sure everyone was heard and received justice. 

As she helped the last two people resolve their dispute long after dinner, she made herself a note to talk to Sora when he got back about this. There needed to be some sort of reform to the judicial system. It was just too much for the king or even the king and the queen to handle all alone.

The fourth day, he was scheduled to come home, and the meetings that day seemed to drag on extra long. She kept fiddling with her ring, his smiling face popping into her head every time she did. It was now one piece, with the wedding band and the engagement ring sautered together. Maybe he would notice when he got back. 

More than once someone had to call her name to get her attention, but her thoughts kept wandering back to him. And when it was time for dinner, she shoveled her food down so quickly Priscilla came into the dining room to comment on it.

“Are you really that excited to see His Majesty?” she said with a laugh as she helped Marcus pick up the plates. “He’s only been gone four days.”

“I… his journey’s been long. I just want to make sure he’s greeted properly when he gets back,” she explained as she sipped her evening tea.

Priscilla just gave her a look, which she ignored. It was a Destiny Islands tradition to properly greet someone who had come home from a long journey. She might be queen, but she wasn’t about to forget her roots. 

When he finally arrived, it was past eleven, and most of the servants had already gone to bed. But not her. She sprung to her feet as soon as he was back and raced to the balcony overlooking the entrance to the Keep.

When he saw her leaning over it with her hands on the railing, panting for breath, a huge smile spread across his face. 

“I’m back,” he said.

“You’re home!”

She raced down the stone steps to meet him, taking them two at a time, and flung herself into his outstretched arms. He laughed and caught her, then spun her around, just like he always used to. She was laughing now too, taking in his warmth and scent and feel. Four days wasn’t much compared to the separations they’d endured before, and yet, this time the wait had gotten harder with each passing day.

But then he set her down, rather abruptly. A stylish hat was perched on his head, and he wore a long coat and gloves to protect himself against the cold weather. He reached behind him, and when he turned around, he was holding an enormous bouquet of flowers.

“Are these… for me?” she asked, rather breathlessly.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I thought you might like them.”

“Like them? I love them!” she said as she took them from him. Asters and lilies and sunflowers and roses and countless other flowers that she loved, all in one beautiful bouquet. 

“I’ll have to find a vase for them right away, and then we can talk about your trip.” She found his hand and led him up the stairs. “Have you had dinner yet?” 

“No, actually.”

“Well, Priscilla’s gone home for the night, so I can make you something. What would you like, my king?”

His cheeks were flushed from the wind and cold, and he smiled shyly. “Maybe… something from back home? I always did love your chicken soup.” 

“Good choice. The weather’s perfect for it.”

She went through the list of ingredients in her head and where they were located in the kitchen as she led Sora to the dining room.

“And… do you know if we still have any paopu fruit left from that banquet last week?” he asked.

“I believe we do.”

“Then… if you don’t mind… could you add that, too?”

His request was so shy and sweet, how could she possibly say no? 

“Your wish is my command,” she told him with a smile. They had reached the dining room, and he smiled and gave her hand one last squeeze before letting go.

As he slipped into the dining room, she couldn’t help but giggle after the door had closed behind him. Her hand was still warm from his touch. And it stayed warm the whole time she was in the kitchen, first when she found a vase for the flowers, and then when she cooked him his food. And as she set his bowl of soup before him and he looked up and thanked her, the warmth spread all the way from her hand to her heart. 

He started eating, and his eyes sparkled as he told her about the trip, about all the worlds he got to see while he was gone. It was like old times, hearing him talk about his adventures, only with more politics and tax discussions and trade agreements. 

When he had about run out of things to tell her, she sighed and rested her hand on her cheek. “You really enjoyed this, didn’t you? I hope you get to travel more often. I think you really miss it.” 

“It is one of the better parts of ruling,” he agreed. “But… if it means being away from you… I don’t want to do it that often. Not unless you’re with me.”

She felt her face flushing, and her heart was fluttering again, too. She ducked her head and rested her hands in her lap, and her ring caught the light. This was the kind of thing she’d always wanted to hear him say, and to actually hear the words… to know that he might be able to keep his promise this time… 

“I… I’m glad you’re back,” she said.

“Me too.” 

She glanced up and met his eyes, and he was looking at her in a way that made her head spin. 

“Thanks again, Kairi,” he said. “Dinner was great, and that welcome home made the separation worth it.”

“Well, it’s tradition. You were coming home, and you deserved a warm welcome.”

He smiled again, and it lit up his whole face. “That’s right. Doesn’t matter where we are. If I’m with you, I’m home.” 

He helped her clean up the dishes after that, and then he walked her to her room, hand in hand. He stood there, fidgeting, until she hugged him. After a few seconds, he hugged her back, pulling her close and burying his face in her hair.

“Goodnight, my king,” she said as she pulled away.

“Goodnight, Kairi,” he said, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sweet dreams.”

As she slipped off to sleep, Sora’s face was the last one she saw, and she couldn’t help but smile.

He still had that effect on her, after all this time.

* * *

“See?” the monster said as Sora pulled on a pair of sweatpants. “Kairi does care.” A dreamy smile lit its face up, and it sighed. 

Sora could picture her face now as she greeted him tonight. Her smile, the delight in her eyes… 

Because they were friends. Of course she was happy to see him.

“Giving me a hug is hardly a sign she’s falling in love with me again,” he told the monster as he ran his fingers through his wet hair. 

“On its own, maybe not. But she also cooked for me, one of my favorite meals—”

“She likes cooking,” he said as he pulled on a long-sleeved t-shirt.

“And her rings,” it said. “She got them sautered together. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t—”

He gripped the edge of the bathroom counter and stared at his own ring. “It’s a piece of jewelry she wears every day. Of course she’d want it to look good.”

“You don’t know what to do about the light growing inside you, do you?” the monster said softly. “The darkness inside you doesn’t like it. It’s fighting it. It’s fighting your heart. It’s fighting me.”

He looked up into its eyes. “It hurts.”

“I know. But it feels good too, doesn’t it?”

He rested his hand over his heart. “Yeah. It’s like this flame, burning inside of me. It hurts, but it feels warm. Like it’s keeping me alive. No, like I’m… like I’m coming alive again.”

“Then let it keep burning,” the monster said, its voice gentle. “Let Kairi in.”

Before Sora could say anything else, the monster was gone. It was just his reflection staring back at him.

Let Kairi in? She was already here. She had never really left. His heart had been hers for a long time now.

And maybe, someday, he’d give her everything else, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos on the last chapter! I hope you enjoyed this one, too. The tender moments between Sora and Kairi are always some of my favorite to write, and we'll be seeing more and more of those. Till next time!


	10. Cupid and Psyche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this chapter is the start of more sexual content in the story. If you would like to know what all happens in this chapter, skip to the notes at the end of the chapter. I will also be discussing a change to my update schedule (don't worry, it's a good one!)

Kairi’s eyes fluttered open. All around her, sheer fabric floated and swayed in the breeze, curtains and drapes and canopies. The space in between them was an empty void without any light or color, and when she glanced down, she saw she was standing on water and clothed only in a simple white sheet.

“Kairi…”

Her head snapped up. He was here too, whispering her name. She took a step forward, and ripples spread out from where her bare foot landed on the water. Pushing some of the drapes aside, she searched for the source of his voice.

“Sora? Are you there?”

He repeated her name, and she moved in the direction of the sound. He led her through a maze of fluttering curtains and cool water until she pushed the correct curtain aside. Before her was a large canopy bed with sheets and drapes as red as blood. 

“Kairi.”

She turned around, and he was standing there, wearing white pants and a loose fitting shirt to match, unbuttoned so that she could see his crown necklace. His eyes were blue, and when he offered his hand, she took it, noting how small and delicate her hand was in his.

“You’ve been waiting for me for a long time, haven’t you?” she said as he led her to the bed. “Sorry it took so long.”

But then another hand caught her free one, and she glanced back. Sora was there, too, only this Sora had golden eyes and was dressed in all black instead of all white.

“Kairi, that isn’t the real me,” he said. “This is who I am now, and you know it. You never married that Sora. You married me.”

Sure enough, a golden ring glinted on the dark Sora’s finger. She glanced at the other Sora, and he didn’t have a ring.

“Kairi, that may be true,” he said, “but you’d rather have me, wouldn’t you? You’d rather have the real Sora, not this fake who’s been corrupted by the darkness.”

The dark Sora glared at the light one, and she knew it was up to her to settle this, some way, somehow.

“You’re both wrong. Light and darkness, they both exist inside of you. You’re incomplete if you only have one without the other. And that means… neither of you are the real Sora.”

They both smiled. “Well done, Kairi. You know me well.”

As they faded away, she pleaded, “Tell me, where can I find him? Where can I find my husband?”

But they were already gone, and the whole room was plunged into a deep darkness. The only light came from her, and she had to search for him once more. 

“Sora, where are you?” she called. The distorted chords of their wedding music went whistling past her ears, and some invisible wind picked her up off her feet and lifted her to the top of a mountain. 

It was light here, and she was in a beautiful meadow teeming with wildflowers. Up ahead was a shining golden palace. Something about it drew her in, and as soon as she stepped past one of its great columns, whispering voices greeted her.

“Welcome, Queen Kairi. Welcome, wife of the god.”

“Wife of the god?” she repeated, but no one answered her. No one was even here. 

Curious, she explored room after room, each more beautiful and elaborately decorated than the last. Gold was everywhere, glinting in the fabric of the couches, coating all the eating utensils. There were no walls in the palace, only columns dividing one room from the other and a ceiling painted like the sky over it all. 

Her food was brought to her by… invisible servants? It was some of the best she’d ever had; plump fruits and perfectly cooked meats and tasty drinks. She really did feel like the wife of a god, feasting like this.

The sun was going down when she went to the bedroom. The bed was huge, and she laid down on it and watched the sun set over the beautiful mountain meadow. The sky was alight with fire and color, and she sighed and sank back onto the comfy blankets. 

When the sun was gone, the moon did not rise to take its place. It was pitch black, and she couldn’t see a thing. Not even the stars shone.

But then, in the darkness, he finally came to her. She could sense him even if she couldn’t see him, hear him even though she couldn’t make out his form. She stood, and the sheet slipped off of her, leaving her naked and exposed. 

“Sora?”

A moment later, his arms went around her and brought her to him. He was still dressed, the soft fabric of his shirt and pants nice against her bare skin. His lips found hers, and he kissed her the way he always used to kiss her. He still remembered. He hadn’t forgotten what she liked. 

When they finally broke apart, she could hear his breathing as well as hers. He brought a hand to her face and cupped her cheek, and his touch was gentle and tender.

“Kairi, do you trust me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“But you can’t see anything. How do you know I’m who I really say I am?”

She smiled and found his hand, her fingers brushing up against his ring. “It’s not about what I can see, silly. It’s what’s in your heart. That’s always been crystal clear to me.”

“And what’s in it now?”

“Hmmm, let’s see.” She closed her eyes, though there was no real need, and focused on him as the cool evening breeze swept through their room. “Light. Darkness. Love. Lust.”

“You aren’t afraid?”

Her eyes opened again. “Why would I be?”

“You were scared before. Of me. Of my desire for you.”

She shook her head. “No. It wasn’t you I was afraid of. It was my own heart that scared me.”

“Why?”

She frowned. “I don’t… I don’t know.” 

“You can see inside my heart,” he said, lifting her hand to his chest, “but can you see inside yours?” he finished, resting her hand over her own heart.

“I… I can’t.” On instinct, she looked up in the direction she thought his eyes should be in. “Can you?”

“Yeah, I can.” 

“What’s in there? What’s inside of me?”

He was silent for a moment. “Light. More light. Fear. Confusion. Desire. Lust. And more confusion, because you don’t know why you feel the way you do. But also…”

“But also what, Sora?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” he said softly. “Now tell me, Kairi, do you want me?”

“I… I do.” 

“Then it’s time. It’s time for me to make good on the promise I made to you long ago.”

He found her hand and led her to the bed. Despite the darkness, she was able to get his clothes off pretty quickly between their hungry, desperate kisses. Then she felt the muscles and sinew rippling beneath his skin, her touches so different from the cautious onces she had used to heal him after his injury.

He lifted her onto the bed, and soon his weight was pressing down on her, warm and comforting and safe. He moaned as her breasts pushed into his chest, and a jolt went through her as she felt his arousal brushing against her. 

They resumed their kissing as their hands explored each other, two lonely souls and fractured hearts seeking solace in one another. The god entwined in the arms of a mortal woman, about to make her his wife. But right as things were getting really good, a loud ringing noise interrupted them.

Kairi’s eyes flew open, and she smacked her alarm to get it to shut up. Stupid thing, ruining her dream. She had been this close to—this close to—

Her face flushed hot. Had she really just dreamed about… about almost having sex with Sora? She hadn’t had a dream like that in ages. But she was all hot and bothered now, and still sleepy enough to want to do something about it. Her hand slipped between her legs, and sure enough, telltale signs of her own arousal greeted her.

As she continued touching herself, something strange happened. Normally, her fantasies were sort of generic, sort of general. Of a faceless handsome man who was the perfect lover, catering exactly to her desires. But not this time. This time, Sora was the one touching her. Sora was the one whose body she wanted to see and feel and touch. And not just any version of Sora. At first she pictured the old him, the one with blue eyes. But as she got closer and closer to the edge, he morphed into his current self. 

Most surprising of all was that instead of turning her off, that just… made her want him more. But enough thinking for now. She shut her brain off and focused on him, imagined what he would say and do. Concentrated on the desire building inside of her till her breath caught and her body overwhelmed her with a flood of pleasure that spread through her in powerful waves.

She sighed and sank back against the pillow. Now that her horniness was giving way to relief, the mental clarity that always came in the wake of one of her climaxes had returned. 

She had gotten herself off to Sora as he was now. Which could only mean she was attracted to Sora as he was now. Which meant that… maybe… somehow… she was falling for him again. 

No, no, it couldn’t be. He had darkness inside of him. He wasn’t himself.

But then she thought of her dream. Her strange, twisted dream that was a mix of the story she had read before bed last night and whatever was brewing inside of her own heart. And in that dream, Sora had met her and told her he could sense her desire for him. She had been a willing participant in all that making out that was leading straight into sex, too.

Stupid alarm for stopping her from seeing what happened next.

As she dozed off for just a little while longer, she tried to continue where the dream had left off. But despite her best efforts, she just couldn’t recreate it.

Not even in her dreams could she have him. That was how it had always been, and that was the way it would always be.

Unless…

But no. She didn’t dare to dream like that. She might want Sora, but that was no guarantee he still wanted her. 

Because no matter how much time passed, no matter what she did, he was always and forever just out of her reach.

* * *

As the temperature outside continued to drop, the eve of another festival drew near: the Bonfire Festival, which was exactly what it sounded like. Sora had always liked fire, so why not celebrate it with a huge party? The big bonfire would keep people warm, and there would be dancing and singing and roasting all kinds of delicious stuff. Best of all, it officially kicked off the countdown to Christmas.

One of his old Keyblade Transformations had been a bow and arrow, so he’d made a tradition on Mare Caelestis. The king and queen would shoot two flaming arrows into the castle’s bonfire to get the party started. Now that he was married to Kairi, together their two arrows would be the ones to ignite the bonfire. 

There was just one problem. Kairi didn’t have a whole lot of experience with archery.

“My king,” she said after lunch one day as they were walking from the dining room to a meeting. It wasn’t the same as hearing his name, but something about the tender endearment warmed his heart all the same. “Your Majesty” was used when she was angry or upset with him, but “my king” was almost a sign of fondness now. She never really used his name anymore, but “my king” slipped out of her often. Like she was telling everyone he was hers. Like she wanted the whole World to know he was taken. 

Or maybe he was just imagining all of that. If she really cared, she’d just use his name again. “My king” was another way of her putting distance between them. Of reminding him that they were on uneven playing fields, that he was king and she was Kairi and nothing could make them equals again.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Well, I’ve been practicing with a bow and arrow every day to get ready for the Bonfire Festival, and I’m getting better, but the whole fire part of it kinda scares me. I was wondering… if you have time… could you help me practice with flaming arrows?”

He looked at her, looking shyly up at him, the sleeve of her green dress sliding off her shoulder and reminding him of all the times the same thing had happened during their passionate makeout sessions back home. He could picture her pinned beneath him, red hair splayed out on the white sand. He was kissing her neck now, leaving little marks to show everyone just whose she was. Her fingers curled around his shirt as soft moans escaped her throat, begging him to continue.

He stifled the urge to groan. His fantasies were getting worse. They were haunting him all the damn time now. He had to force himself to look away for a moment before answering her, because otherwise he would be tempted to kiss her right then and there.

“Of course I have time,” he said. “I always have time for you.”

She ducked her head and smiled. “Thank you. Would this evening after dinner be okay?”

“Sure.”

When he met her outside, he was all bundled up, and so was she. Her cute pink coat went past her knees, and she had on a matching knit cap and scarf to match. She was wearing white leggings and fuzzy pink boots, and Sora couldn’t help but imagine what she looked like under all those layers.

“Ready?” he asked, and she nodded, her breath forming little clouds of steam in the cold night air. 

Her small gloved hand reached for his, and he took it and wove their fingers together. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, and she giggled into her free hand as he led the way towards the archery targets. When they reached the dusty equipment shed, they exchanged their winter gloves for archery gloves and found their bows and a few arrows to work with.

Her practicing had paid off; she was already a lot better than she had been a few weeks ago. Sora made sure to check her form, carefully positioning himself near her so he could get her shoulder to relax, her elbow to be at the right height.

She tilted her head towards him, and her face was just inches away from his. “Like this?” she asked sweetly.

“Yeah, just like that.”

She focused on the target, her tongue poking out of her mouth a little in a way that distracted Sora greatly. A few moments later, she released the arrow, and it flew steady and true. It wasn’t exactly a bullseye, but she did manage to hit the target. 

Both of the targets. Whether she meant to or not, she’d hit the actual target… and the one between his legs. He couldn’t help it, when she poked her tongue out like that, it… made him think of the things she used to do with her tongue, and… well… his body remembered too.

He made a big show of going to get the arrow for her, even though they still had several other ones to work with. He couldn’t risk letting her see. What would she think if she saw he was sporting a boner just from watching her shoot an arrow?

“Thank you, my king,” she said sweetly as he handed the arrow back to her, and that was all it took to undo his efforts to calm down. He quickly moved around behind her so she couldn’t see.

“Um… I’ll grab some of the special fire arrows! Keep practicing with the ones you have!”

“Right,” she said, already nocking another arrow on the bowstring. If she had noticed his predicament, she didn’t say. 

By the time he returned to her with the fire arrows, he had managed to get things under control. He watched as she shot the last of the regular arrows, and this time, she hit the bullseye. 

“I did it!” she squealed. “I hit the bullseye!”

She threw the bow on the ground and did an excited little hoppy dance. Then she turned to him, face flushed and eyes sparkling, and flung herself at him. He caught her easily, his arms going around her like it was second nature, and of course his stupid dick decided to say hi right as he did.

She inhaled sharply and stiffened, and he pulled away from her. “Sorry, I—”

Her hands curled around his coat and kept him from leaving. “Don’t be. I’m flattered.” She met his eyes, and her cheeks were pink. “It’s not every day I get a compliment from my king.” Standing on her tiptoes, she planted a quick peck on his cheek. “That’s enough for tonight. We can practice with the flaming arrows tomorrow.”

Sora just stared at her as she started gathering their equipment together, his hand resting on his cheek. She wasn’t… scared? Of him? Of his desire for her? She’d… she’d really kissed him? Granted, just on the cheek, but still. She’d kissed him. She wasn’t scared. She was even flattered… flattered by his dick poking into her? 

What was up with that? Had something changed? Did she want him? Was that even possible?

And the other thing she said. She wanted compliments? Should he compliment her?

Yeah, he should. He should say something. 

“Um, Kairi?” he asked as he bent down to pick up a stray arrow. 

“Yes?”

“Your scarf and hat. Did you make them yourself?”

She nodded, turning this way and that the way she always used to when she modeled new clothes for him. “Uh-huh. Do you like them?”

“Yeah. They look really good on you.”

She giggled into her hand. That was a good sign. That was a really good sign. 

“Thank you,” she said. “I’ve been trying to pick up some of my old hobbies again.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.”

They spent the rest of the time cleaning up in silence until everything was put away. As they walked back to the castle, Kairi looped her arm through his and leaned against him. He couldn’t have stopped the grin on his face if he’d tried. 

When he got back to his room, he sprawled across his bed and crossed his hands behind his neck and sighed, not even bothering to take his coat off yet.

Spending this much time with Kairi really was a treat. And the flame inside him was burning brighter with each passing day.

* * *

The night of the Bonfire Festival, the weather was perfect and the stars shone brightly in the sky above. The town square, along with basically every street in town, had been transformed into a Christmas market, with the delicious smells from all the stalls of mulled wine, hot apple cider, and hot chocolate wafting to Kairi’s nose. 

And that was just the drinks. There were stalls for food, too—pretzels, sausages, French fries, candied almonds, candied oranges, caramel apples, fudge, all different flavors of popcorn—and all kinds of trinkets. Everything from food carving to jewelry to Christmas ornaments had at least one stall. 

And the lights! The Christmas lights had been strung up along the houses and buildings and even the castle itself, and the whole town looked like something out of a storybook. It was truly magical. 

In the middle of the town square, space had been cleared for the bonfire, and it was piled high with wood. She and Sora had their bows and arrows and red and gold ceremonial regalia, and the guards had cleared everyone from the area. Several guards still hovered near her, though, along with Alma. Sora hadn’t been joking when he said he’d hire more security for her. She tried to go about her business as per normal, but whenever he wasn’t around, the guards were often hovering nearby, and any sort of public appearance necessitated them.

“Ready?” Sora asked, and she nodded. Their arrows were lit on fire, and Kairi took deep breaths to help calm her nerves.

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” Sora said with one of his lopsided grins. “At this point, you’re probably better than I am.”

What was it about his smile that could always get her to calm down? She nodded again, and he turned his attention back to his arrow.

“On the count of three, one…”

“Two…”

“Three!”

They shot the arrows into the pile of wood, just like they’d practiced. They’d practiced so much, in fact, that their arrows joined together while still in the air and went whistling towards the exact mark they’d intended. A few moments later, the bonfire was ablaze and the crowd was cheering. The festival had officially begun.

She and Sora spent a lot of time mingling with as many people as they could, not just the nobles. It was nice to see regular people again, and of course she spent a good deal of time catching up with Cornelia and Julia. She even exchanged a few pleasant words with Livia and Aulus. And it was fun checking out all the stalls, sampling this and trying that. Alma had her hands full with all the trinkets people had given to Kairi. 

But the whole time, she sensed the guards hovering nearby, and it really hit her that this would be her life from now on. When she was in the castle it wasn’t so bad, because she was usually with Sora and he considered himself adequate protection most of the time. But out here it felt downright oppressive, even if it was for her own safety.

“My king?” she asked Sora presently.

“Yes?” He held a cup of mulled wine in his gloved hands, and it smelled absolutely delicious. Whether he was actually drinking it or not was another question. She almost hated to ask her question. If he wanted to let loose a little, she didn’t want to stop him.

“I was just wondering if we could find somewhere to talk, just the two of us?”

He blew across the surface of his drink. “Sure. This is too hot to drink right now anyway.” 

He signaled to Octavius, and the guards left them and melted into the crowds. Kairi got herself a cup of mulled wine too, and then nodded towards the hills near the castle. “Over there, maybe?”

“Sure.”

Even though it was technically supposed to be just the two of them, the guards still trailed them, and it wasn’t till they had crossed the drawbridge and were on the castle grounds that they were truly alone. They climbed one of the hills and sat at the top of it, looking out over the town below. It looked like something out of a painting from here, with the great bonfire and stalls and Christmas lights and people out and about.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured as she lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip.

Sora glanced at her. “You really think so?”

“Yes. It’s kinda silly, but sometimes… it almost feels like this world was made for me.”

He was silent for a moment, then smiled. “Well, maybe it was.”

She nearly dropped her mulled wine on her lap. “What?”

“Kidding!” he said and laughed as he helped her steady her drink. “You should’ve seen the look on your face though! There for a second, you almost believed me.” 

She pouted as she took another sip. “So what if I did? This world’s beautiful, and while it isn’t Destiny Islands, it still feels… maybe not like home, but like I belong here.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

They watched the town in silence for a while, just content to be together. But then presently he asked, “Kairi, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Oh, that. Umm… ummmm…” 

She didn’t mean to snoop, really. But she’d accidentally dropped the little brown paper sack containing her birth control in the hall a couple of days before, and someone had returned it to Dr. Valens for her. If it had been one of the servants, there would already be gossip by now. Which meant that whoever had returned it was someone she could trust. 

And it wasn’t Alma, because she had already asked. Dr. Valens wouldn’t tell her who it was either, but he had reassured her that he hadn’t said what the medicine even was, let alone who it was for. He took her privacy seriously. So the only way to find out was to ask Sora directly.

“Were you the one who gave my medicine back to Dr. Valens?” she asked, the words tumbling out of her mouth.

“Oh, that was yours?” he asked. “I thought it might be, but he wouldn’t tell me.” He frowned and clutched his mulled wine tighter. “Kairi, I know it’s not really any of my business, but if you have some kind of medical issue—”

“No, I’m fine! That was just… um…”

Should she tell him? Did he already know?

She thought back, back to that day when she’d burst through his front door, excitedly waving her birth control in the air. He’d grinned and spun her around, and the kiss that had followed had left them both breathless. They’d made a countdown calendar together and had both bought an entire box of condoms each, laughing when they realized their mistake. They were the really stupid ones too with the weird flavors, and together they’d gone out and gotten a third box of no-nonsense practical ones and some extra lube, just in case.

But the thing was, he knew the name of her birth control back then, because she’d told him and showed him. And it was the same type she was using now. If he’d looked inside the bag after she’d dropped it… if he remembered the name… then it was possible he’d put two and two together and knew what the medication really was.

His expression softened. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me what it was for. Your body, your call.”

“Thank you,” she said, surprised by how relieved she was he wasn’t pressing the issue. “And… thank you for coming up here with me. I just… wanted to get away from all the guards for a little while.”

“I did too,” he admitted. “It’s nice to feel like a person again. To just be me.”

“Yeah.” She lifted her cup in the air. “To being normal people.”

“To being normal people.”

They sipped their wine some more, and that was when Kairi noticed the white snowflakes dancing in the air around them. Sora did, too, a huge smile spreading across his face as he set his wine down and stood with his arms outstretched.

“First snow of the year!” he shouted, his breath warm against the cold night air as he gazed around them in wonder. She giggled and set her cup down just in time for him to pull her to her feet. He lifted her off the ground and spun her around, his laughter filling the air. 

When he lowered her to her feet, she wrapped her arms around him and sighed. She couldn’t imagine a better way to spend the night of the first snow than with him.

* * *

After the festival, Sora wanted to stay with Kairi for as long as possible. They were walking back to the Keep together when she frowned and touched her neck.

“Kairi? What is it?”

She met his eyes as she patted her coat pockets. “My necklace. It’s gone.” 

“You mean the one Aqua enchanted for you?”

She nodded.

“You sure you wore it tonight?”

Another nod. “I always wear it.”

“Okay, we’ll look everywhere for it, then. I’m sure it’s around here somewhere.”

Together they retraced her steps throughout the evening and even got the guards involved with helping search for it. Alma helped, too, and she seemed as sad as Kairi was about it going missing. Her eyes drooped, and she stayed long after the others had given up.

But even though the three of them searched for hours, they couldn’t find it. They were back in front of Kairi’s room again for the fifth time, and even Alma seemed to be giving up hope.

“We can stop now,” Kairi said after Sora yawned again. “It’s okay, really. You both have helped me a lot tonight. Get some sleep, please.”

Alma put her hand on Kairi’s shoulder. “If it’s really okay with you. But we can keep searching for it in the morning.”

Kairi nodded. “Right.”

She told them both goodnight, but after Alma had retired to her quarters, Sora knew what he had to do. He wouldn’t give up looking for that necklace until he found it. 

Returning to the hill where they had sipped their mulled wine again, he pulled off his gloves so he could better search the ground. The night air was chilly, but it would be worth it if he found the necklace for Kairi. 

After what felt like ages, he saw something glinting on the ground dappled with snow. There. The necklace was there, and he let out a huge sigh of relief. But when he went to pick it up, he frowned. The chain had snapped and the pearl had fallen out of its mounting. He carefully picked up the pieces despite his numb fingers and gingerly placed them in one of his pockets. 

He couldn’t give the necklace back to Kairi like this. She would be heartbroken to see it was broken. She’d had it before he’d even met her, and he’d have to do something about its current sorry state before returning it to her. 

When he got back to his room, he peeled off his cold clothes and turned on the hot water so he could warm up more quickly. As he soaked in the tub, the monster came to visit again.

“Kairi is on birth control, then,” it said from the faucet.

He sighed and stared back at it. “Yeah? And?”

“That means she’s planning on having sex.”

“She could be taking it for other reasons,” he said as he grabbed a washcloth. “Health, hormones—

“Maybe. Or maybe she just wants sex.”

He rubbed his face with the washcloth and groaned. “What is it with you and sex? It’s all you’ve been talking about lately.”

“Because it’s all you’ve been thinking about lately.”

Sora pouted and rinsed the washcloth out. “Not true. I’ve had a bunch of stuff on my mind.”

“Mostly about Kairi though.”

That was true enough. He couldn’t seem to get her out of his head. Every time he closed his eyes, she was there. And when he opened them again, it was so he could spend more time with her.

“What are you so afraid of?” the monster asked. 

He hesitated, then decided to tell it the truth. “That I’m wrong. That I’m only imagining she desires me. It’s happened before. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?”

The monster was silent for a few moments, then it finally said, “Let her make the first move, then. She can decide when she’s ready.”

“How will she know?” Sora asked as he leaned back, the warm water pooling over his body. “You said it before, didn’t you? She doesn’t even know her own heart anymore.”

“She lost her way, but she’ll find it again. I know she will.”

“That doesn’t mean she’ll love me again,” he said. She could have sex without love, easily. She was ready to their wedding night. The memory of that disaster still stung. 

“I know her,” the monster said. “She can’t help but let her heart get involved. It’s how she is. She doesn’t want to separate her heart from her body any more than I do.”

Sora sighed again. He just hoped the monster was right. If they ever did have sex, he wanted it to be because Kairi truly cared for him again. Anything else might still feel good, sure, but it wouldn’t be the same. He wanted Kairi’s heart, not just her body.

For that, he was willing to wait however long it might take. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi has a dream where she nearly has sex with Sora and touches herself afterwards; they skirt around the issue of birth control; boner jokes and sexual tension abound. 
> 
> Okay, with the content warnings out of the way, I wanted to let you all know that I will be posting chapters weekly instead of once every other week for the foreseeable future! I can't promise that it will be like this for the whole fic, but I have enough of a backlog to feel comfortable making the switch for now. So Chapter 11 will be posted next week, and Chapter 12 the week after that, etc. 
> 
> Onto my thoughts about the chapter itself. This one actually has quite a few moments I really loved writing. If I had to pick a favorite, though, I'd say it's Sora being so happy it's snowing that he sweeps Kairi off her feet and spins her around. That scene has stuck with me even though it's been quite some time since I first wrote it, maybe because Sora's really starting to feel like himself again. The dream sequence and archery practice and festival scenes were a lot of fun to write, too, and really, I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos, and I'll see you next week!


	11. Christmas Spirit

Something about Christmas was just magical. The anticipation and excitement, all the fun and festivities, and the best part of all—gift giving. Kairi spent every spare moment procuring gifts for people or making them herself. More than once she stayed up late, putting the finishing touches on this or that.

“Kairi? You okay?” Sora asked with a frown as they sat by the fire in the sitting room one evening. He was sprawled out on the couch, and she was sitting hunched over the coffee table. One of her fingers was bandaged from when she accidentally pricked it embroidering a new set of kitchen towels for Cornelia and Julia, and she was currently hard at work crafting a bracelet for Alma. 

“I’ll be fine,” she said as she added another bead. “I’m getting close to being done with everyone’s presents, and then I’ll be able to relax.” She put the bracelet down for a moment. “My king, isn’t there something you’d like to do to unwind?”

He thought about this for a moment. “I guess… it’s been so long, that I don’t… I don’t really know what I like to do for fun anymore.”

Her heart sank. Had he really forgotten what it was like to have fun? To have a hobby? 

“Well, we’ll just have to find something you enjoy,” she said. “Maybe cooking or baking? You always did like both.”

“Yeah. We could make Christmas cookies.”

She nodded. “Sure. I can give Priscilla a list of ingredients to get us.” She picked the bracelet back up and continued her work. “Anything else you’d like to try?”

He gave her an unreadable expression. “Yeah, actually.”

“What is it?”

He leaned back and sighed. “It requires two people, and I don’t know how the other person feels about doing it.”

“Why don’t you just ask, then? It can’t hurt.”

“Actually, it can. Better to just follow my heart’s lead, but ever since I… well, my heart—”

“You have trouble following it now, don’t you?” she said sadly. She knew that feeling all too well.

“Yeah.”

Her hand went to rest over her necklace, only to be reminded that it wasn’t there anymore. They’d searched everywhere for it, but no one had been able to find it. And just like that, the beautiful necklace she’d had for years, the necklace that was enchanted with Aqua’s magic, was gone. Sora had planned all sorts of events for the rest of the month, and between that and her gift making, she was too busy to make herself a new necklace. It would just have to wait till after Christmas.

With everything keeping her busy, the days flew by. Before she knew it, it was Christmas Eve and the day of the big Christmas party. All of her presents were done, and that morning she handed them out to everyone. All except one. Sora’s was going to wait till tomorrow. They’d set Christmas aside for just the two of them, and she couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he unwrapped his present.

The Christmas party was held in the ballroom that evening, and everyone was dressed up in their wintery finest. Sora was wearing a Santa outfit with red fabric and faux fur trimming, and she had on a cute Santa dress to match. 

As the guests began to arrive, the two of them went to the balcony in the ballroom together to make their big welcome speeches. Kairi listened intently as Sora addressed the people, and everyone was silent as his magnetic words drew them all in.

“Tonight, let’s celebrate the special people in our lives,” he said. “All of our friends and family and loved ones. The events and activities surrounding Christmas are fun, but what is Christmas really about? Giving gifts, right? And what better gift can we give to the people we love than ourselves?”

He looked at Kairi, and it was like the rest of the world faded away. Right now, in this moment, it was just the two of them. He smiled, his eyes radiating adoration and affection, and she knew who his words were really meant for. Knew what he was telling her, what he was offering.

Well, now seemed as good a time as any. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. A simple, chaste kiss that made her head spin all the same. How she had missed kissing him. Nothing else even came close to the feeling.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she dared to look at his face. He was staring at her with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open, and her cheeks flushed hot. What had she been thinking? She should apologize for being so bold, for kissing him in front of everyone like this when she had no idea if he really—

Oh. Oh my. No time to think. He was kissing her now, one hand cupping her cheek, the other weaving into her hair. This was not a polite kiss. It wasn’t the sort of kiss that was appropriate in front of other people by any stretch of the imagination. It was hungry and eager, coming from a heart dying for affection and finally getting a taste of what it had so desperately wanted. It promised more, begged for more, and as Kairi tasted what it was offering, she found herself wanting the same.

Octavius loudly cleared his throat, and Sora finally pulled away from her. He was looking at her in a way he hadn’t for a long time. She knew that look and she knew what it meant, and it was making her heart pound and her body ache for him. 

It was a good thing someone had interrupted them. She wasn’t sure she would’ve stopped otherwise.

She glanced around nervously, but the people were hollering and cheering. She giggled at that, still a little embarrassed, but relieved the guests weren’t completely scandalized.

When she looked at Sora again, he was smiling and pointing up at the ceiling. “Look. Mistletoe.”

She glanced upwards, and sure enough, the familiar holiday plant was hanging over them. “See?” she said. “I just had to kiss him. It’s tradition!”

The crowd went wild, and she couldn’t help but smile. Especially when they started chanting, “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” She laughed and found Sora’s hand, and he took her other one.

“One more time to please our adoring fans?” he asked as they stood there gazing into each other’s eyes, hand in hand.

“If my king wishes it.”

“Oh, he does. Trust me.”

His lips found hers, and this third kiss was met with even more whooping and hollering. But Sora was more restrained this time; he didn’t kiss her with the same bold abandon as before. Still, it was a lovely kiss all the same, and when they finally parted, they were both smiling shyly at each other.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, and she giggled into her other hand. He’d done this so many times before, but he still managed to charm her every time.

He looked up into her eyes afterwards, his smile soft. “Enjoy the party, my beloved.”

They went to mingle with the guests afterwards, but Kairi could hardly focus. Her thoughts kept wandering back to Sora. To his sweet kisses and his tender endearment. Did he really mean it? Was she really his beloved?

She kept stealing glances at him every chance she could get, and she often found his eyes meeting hers. He was as thoroughly distracted by her as she was by him. That thought made her feel all warm inside, and it helped her get through the rest of the party.

By the time it was over, though, they were both so exhausted that she knew nothing more could happen tonight. So she contented herself with a quick goodnight kiss after he walked her to her door.

“Merry Christmas,” she said afterwards, cupping his face with her hand.

His eyes were soft as he rested his hand over hers. “Merry Christmas, Kairi.”

* * *

Sora stared at himself in the mirror. On the outside, he supposed he looked like any other guy. Male. Human. 

But that was just an illusion. He was a living prison, first for Ven and Roxas and Xion, and now for the great darkness from the black box. It was still there, sealed inside him, screaming to get out.

He wasn’t human anymore, and yet… when he was around Kairi, he felt like a man again. The flame hadn’t gone out. It just kept growing and growing the more time he spent with her. 

The darkness didn’t like that. It had recoiled at Kairi’s kiss. At feeling her light pass from her to him through the tender contact. It had taken him a few seconds to recover and kiss her back, both from the shock and from his darkness reacting.

But the second kiss? The flame had just burned hotter and brighter inside of him with every passing moment. The third kiss was awfully nice, too. Whatever Kairi had to offer, he’d lap it up like a thirsty man in the desert, and she had offered him so much tonight.

But it was one thing to kiss him, and another thing to want to sleep with him. No, that was just his fears talking. Why wasn’t he listening to his heart?

Maybe… maybe he should allow himself to hope again.

* * *

It was snowing outside when Kairi awoke the next morning. A little too early to start getting ready just yet, so she sat by the window with her sketchbook open, pencil in hand. She had to capture what she’d seen in her dream before she forgot. The scene in her mind’s eye began to take shape on paper, a peaceful clearing with a small pool at the edge of a wood. Light flickered and darted between the trees, and wildflowers grew in abundance. 

And most important of all was Sora. She drew him from her perspective, trying to capture his natural grace and beauty, his lean but muscular build. What she hadn’t seen of his body before she did her best to fill in with her imagination, and before long the scene from her dream was coming together nicely.

“Good morning,” she said with a quick glance upwards when Alma eventually came in. “Merry Christmas!”

“And a Merry Christmas to you, too,” Alma said. Kairi could hear her rustling around in the closet. “What are you drawing?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Alma poked her head out and gave her a knowing grin. 

“I had a nice dream,” Kairi said cryptically.

“What kind of dream?”

“About… my husband,” she said, deciding not to say Sora’s name at the last moment. Her pencil flew across the page, trying to capture his likeness, the twinkle in his eyes and the exact way his smile lit up his face.

It was hard to do him justice, but she was going to try.

Alma peered over Kairi’s shoulder, and Kairi was quick to cover his body with her box of colored pencils.

“Kairi, you’re a lovely artist,” Alma said.

“Thank you.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a place like that on Mare Caelestis,” Alma said. “Do you know where it is?”

“I… I’m not really sure. It was in my dream.”

“Oh, I can see that.” Alma glanced at the drawing, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “Are you planning on showing that to His Majesty?”

Shoot, the pencil case had slipped. Cheeks burning, Kairi slammed the sketchbook shut.

“I think you should,” Alma said. “I think he’d like it.”

Kairi chewed her lip. She couldn’t exactly explain that she and Sora hadn’t even had a proper makeout session since they’d gotten married, let alone seen each other naked. What would he even say if he knew she’d been drawing him like this?

“Maybe someday,” she said, and Alma had the grace to drop the subject. She helped Kairi put today’s dress on, a light blue gown with a fitted waist and fluttering skirt. A matching pair of ballet flats were today’s shoes, and she slipped a headband onto her head and put on little snowflake earrings. 

Sora’s present was resting on her dresser, and she grabbed it now. She’d carefully wrapped it a few nights ago, making sure to put extra effort into everything from the bow to the note tucked underneath it. The red and gold paper shimmered in the light, and the note was written painstakingly in a special calligraphy script she’d been practicing. 

She went into the sitting room, and he was already there waiting for her. He’d turned on the lights of the Christmas tree they’d decorated together, and it looked magical with all its baubles and ornaments by the flickering fireplace.

“Merry Christmas,” she said, and his face lit up. He sprang to his feet and gathered her into his arms so he could hug her tightly. She took a deep breath and drank in his scent. He was wearing nice slacks and a sweater, and that sweater was one of the softest things she had ever touched. 

When he leaned back, it was so he could kiss her forehead. She smiled and relaxed at that. A part of her was scared yesterday was a fluke and today would be business as usual. But maybe this would be their new normal. Maybe her dream hadn’t been so far off.

“Merry Christmas, beloved,” he murmured, and she rested her head against his chest and sighed. He wrapped his arms around her again and planted a soft kiss on the crown of her head. 

“You’re the best gift I could ask for,” he added, and her heart filled with warmth.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said as she stroked his fluffy sweater, “but I did make you something.” 

She looked up into his eyes, and he was smiling at her. “I got something for you too.”

“Shall we, then?” They broke apart so they could settle on the couch. “You first,” she told him as she handed him his present.

“Gee, Kairi, this is wrapped so beautifully I almost hate to unwrap it,” he said as he removed her note. She watched as he read it, his lips silently moving as he did. She licked her own lips, imagining the gentle pressure from his as they’d moved against hers yesterday.

He thanked her for the note and then unwrapped the present as carefully as he could. As he lifted the lid off the box and saw what was inside, a huge smile spread across his face.

“You made these for me?” he asked, his voice pitching higher. She just smiled as he lifted the handknit red sweater out of the box. She’d included a cheery snowman on the front, and there was a matching cap and scarf to go with it. 

“You commented on mine, so I figured I’d make you your own set.”

“Kairi, these are great!” he said as he wrapped the scarf around his neck and pulled the cap over his spiky hair. “Thank you!”

She smiled and nodded, glad to see the scarf and cap fit. Then it was her turn to open her present. It was a small little box, white with a red bow. Slipping the bow off, she lifted the lid and gasped at what was inside. 

It was a necklace on a delicate silver chain. The pearl from her old necklace was mounted against a background of diamonds and sapphires, forming a beautiful night sky. 

“I went back and searched everywhere until I found it,” Sora said. “But it was too broken to fix the way it was. So I thought… maybe… I could make it into something new while keeping something of the old with it, too.”

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured as she gingerly lifted it out of the box to get a better look. “Thank you.”

The way the light caught it was just right. He must’ve had it handcrafted for her, just like he’d had her ring custom-made.

“Help me put it on?” she asked, handing him the necklace before she turned around and swept her hair out of the way. A few moments later, she felt his fingers against her neck as he fastened the clasp. 

“There,” he said softly. The length of the necklace could be adjusted, but she liked what he’d chosen. It hung lower than normal, resting nicely between her breasts. It looked good with her blue dress, too.

“What do you think?” she asked as she let her hair down and turned around. 

“It looks great,” he said, his gaze flickering towards the necklace and lingering there for a moment before meeting her eyes again.

She smiled and thanked him again for his gift, and they fixed each other breakfast after that, having given Priscilla and Marcus the day off. It felt so nice to wear a necklace again, particularly an enchanted one. Something about it just made her feel safer. 

After breakfast, they baked gingerbread cookies, and then it was time for lunch, roast turkey with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and gravy. Hot rolls dripping butter and green bean casserole with warm apple pie for dessert. The afternoon was spent decorating the cookies, and when they were through with that, Sora got a twinkle in his eye and asked if she wanted to play in the snow. 

It was still snowing, and the snow already on the ground blanketed the world and cloaked it in silence. The only sound was their laughter and giggling as they made snow angels and built a snowman in one of the gardens together. Then Sora scooped up a handful of snow, the look on his face making it clear he was up to no good.

“Oh no you don’t, mister,” she said with a giggle as she likewise armed herself. Seconds later, a perfectly aimed snowball came hurtling towards her, catching her arm.

“Oh, it is on!” she shouted as he laughed and retreated. She chased after him and pummeled his back with a flurry of snowballs, and he whirled around with some more of his own. This continued for some time until they were rolling around in the snow together. Sora had the size and strength advantage in close combat, and before long he had her hands neatly pinned over her head, his face just inches from hers as he hovered over her.

“I win,” he said, sounding entirely too smug about it.

She stuck her tongue out. “Only because you’re a guy.”

“Hey now.” 

“If I was a guy, I bet I could beat you,” she said as she tried wriggling out of his grasp. No such luck.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and holding her there like it was no sweat off his back. Probably because it wasn’t. He wasn’t even using anything close to his full strength, and she was already no match for him.

“Yes. I’d be all big and strong and muscly and could kick your butt.”

“Oh?” he said, tilting his head, his lips twitching. “I’d say you’re pretty strong already.”

“Says the guy who just won our snowball fight.”

His expression softened. “There’s more than one kind of strength, beloved. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

She felt her face turn red, and it had nothing to do with frostnip. He smiled, his own cheeks flushing, and she wondered if it was possible to die from charm overload. Why was it that everything he did always made her melt into an incoherent puddle?

Well, one thing was certain. With the way he was looking at her right now, maybe being a puddle wasn’t such a bad thing. Even with all the layers between them, she was very aware of every point his body came into contact with hers. Something flickered through his eyes that made her heart skip a few beats. He leaned a little closer, and then—

He released her arms and extracted himself from her, offering his hand to help her up. “Meet you by the fireplace after we get out of these wet clothes?”

That was when it hit her how cold she was and how cold he must be, too. His cheeks were bright red and his teeth were chattering and snow was stuck in his hair. She giggled and nodded. They could both use a change of clothes.

Once she had taken a hot shower, she grabbed a nice thick Christmas sweater out of her closet, green with red reindeer on it. It would go well with her white miniskirt and some leg warmers.

She hesitated at her dresser drawer. Folded neatly inside were the Christmas bra and underwear she’d gotten on a whim. Should she put them on, or…

Well, there was no harm in wearing them. Sora wouldn’t know if he didn’t see them, and if he did…

Her heart beat faster. She still remembered his eyes after their kisses yesterday, his raw desire on display for everyone to see. The look on his face today when he’d won their snowball fight, hovering over her as he gazed into her eyes. Yes, she was wearing cute underwear tonight. Even if all that came of it was some nice cuddling by the fireplace. 

She glanced in the mirror after she slipped them on and gave herself a satisfied nod. Maybe tonight would be the night they finally gave themselves to each other.

It was Christmas, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Hope you're having a good December so far. Thank you for the comments and kudos on the last chapter, it was great hearing your thoughts. This chapter was a fun one to write with all the Christmas-related stuff, so I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> So far most of the content for this fic has been Teen-rated at most, but that is going to change starting with the next chapter. Just wanted to give you all a heads up on that. I think what I may do for the next chapter as well is include a list of the types of sexual content that will be in the fic going forward (or at least, what I know of so far - there are still parts of the story that need to be written). And again, sexual content or dark content for specific chapters will still be warned for in the notes of those specific chapters.
> 
> Have a good week!


	12. Cross the Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end chapter notes for content warnings for this chapter if you'd like them.

When Kairi was fully dressed again, she went to meet Sora. He was already curled up on the couch by the fireplace, a mug of steaming hot chocolate in his hand. It was piled high with marshmallows, just the way he liked it, and she couldn’t help but smile. His hair was dry again, and he had on the Christmas sweater she’d knit for him, red with a big snowman on it.

His face brightened when he saw her, and she sat next to him and took the mug of hot chocolate he offered her. It was deliciously smooth and creamy with a hint of peppermint, just the way she liked it.

“Did my king make this for me?” she said as she settled into the couch and sighed in contentment.

“He might’ve,” he said cryptically, a twinkle in his eye. “He figured his queen could use something to warm her up after that snowball fight.”

She giggled at the memory. They _ had _both gotten pretty wet, caked in snow as they’d been.

Sora just looked at her as he took another sip, his eyes shining. Christmas really was magical. His spirits were bright indeed.

She set her hot chocolate down on the coffee table and cleared her throat. “You know what else would warm me up…”

He tilted his head, his eyes questioning, curious. Well, it was now or never. She inched closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He stiffened at the contact, but then she felt his arm around her as he brought her closer. 

“Better?” he said softly.

“Much better.”

They watched the flickering flames of the fire for a while after that in contented silence. Her eyelids grew heavy, and she would have been perfectly content to fall asleep like this when Sora spoke again.

“Kairi, you look really beautiful tonight,” he said, his voice low. “I mean, you always do, but—”

She smiled and looked up at him. His golden eyes were warm, not unlike the warmth of the fire before them, and framed by thick dark lashes. Longer and thicker than hers would ever be, even with makeup.

“Must be that Christmas magic,” she said.

“Yeah, Christmas magic.”

His lips were chapped from being outside today, and his cheeks were still a little red, too.

“You know,” she said, “before we got married, all the women in town talked about how beautiful you are.”

He chuckled at that. “Beautiful? Not handsome?”

“You can be both.”

His breathing was heavy as he gazed into her eyes. “Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.”

He leaned closer, his face only inches away from hers. “And what does my queen think?” he murmured, his hot breath tickling her cheek. 

She traced his lips with her thumb. “She thinks… she thinks you’re very handsome.”

The look in his eyes made her heart race as he leaned closer, closer. Her eyes fluttered shut as his nose bumped into hers. Her smile got bigger as she rubbed her nose against his, back and forth and back and forth. When his lips grazed hers, she let out a sigh.

He leaned back and searched her eyes. Whatever he found in them made him lean forward and kiss her again, this time more boldly. And she was bolder too. Her hand found its way to his chest and clutched his sweater, wishing it wasn’t there so she could feel his bare skin.

When they broke apart the second time, he glanced at her hand before meeting her gaze again. She swallowed and loosened her grip, only for him to gently grasp her hand and move it lower and lower till it was lingering by the hem of his sweater. His eyes met hers again, and what he wanted, what he was asking for—

She slid her hand up his sweater, and his breath caught. His skin was warm, his body eager for her touch. A soft noise escaped his throat that made her stomach do flips. The sweater was loose-fitting and hid the strength rippling through his muscles, but she felt it now as she reacquainted herself with his body, as she touched and caressed him and felt his muscles twitch beneath her fingertips.

And he let her. Let her touch him like he wanted this more than anything. And so she touched him everywhere she dared. Peppered his neck and jawline with kisses because he was already breathless, already succumbing to her touch. 

It wasn’t like she was faring any better. Her chest was heaving as the desire and yearning started to build between her legs. Everything about him stood out to her. The light stubble along his jaw that felt wonderfully scratchy against her lips. The soft noises he was making that he either couldn’t or wouldn’t hold back. His warmth and wonderful smell.

But something held her back. She didn’t dare go lower than his stomach. Didn’t dare touch him where she suspected he wanted her touch the most. Where she wanted to touch him too, feel for herself how much he wanted her. Something about doing that would signal the point of no return, and until she was sure he—

He shifted his weight a little, and his moan as his arousal brushed against her made something inside of her snap. She needed him. Now.

Their eyes met again, and his were hesitant, unsure. No wonder. Their disastrous wedding night must still be on his mind. Time to put his concerns to rest. She reached down the waistband of his sweatpants and grasped him, earning a gasp from him. His boxers were in the way, but still. She was holding him in her hand. His desire, his lust, his yearning. If that didn’t make her intentions loud and clear—

The look in his eyes as he realized what she was telling him, what she wanted, just made her want him that much more. The longing for connection that had eaten away at her must be eating away at him, too, and there was only one way to make it go away. One way to satisfy them both.

“You want me?” he asked, breathless, his voice disbelieving. 

“Yes, silly! How much more obvious can I make it?” She smiled shyly and cupped his cheek. “The question is… do you want me?”

He averted his gaze. “More than I have any right to,” he admitted, and she thrilled at that. Every cell in his body was telling her that, but it was still nice to hear him say it. 

She gently turned his head to face her again. “Then prove it. Kiss me.”

He did. He kissed her with abandon, and it was his turn to explore. His turn to slip his hands up her sweater and touch her. His fingers roamed over her bare skin and over her bra but didn’t move to take it off. Just got to know the overall shape of her body again. 

When his hands slipped up her skirt, she broke away from him with a gasp. His eyes were glazed over with lust, and she knew they had to move now or not at all.

“Not here,” she managed breathlessly. “My room—”

He didn’t have to be told twice. He scooped her up into his arms with ease and carried her there. Once inside, her head had cleared enough for her to feel shy again. What would Sora think when he finally saw her body?

He carefully set her down on the bed and then went to close the door. As it shut behind him, he turned around and leaned against it. The flush to his cheeks, the excitement and desire in his eyes, just made her feel all flustered.

Her. He wanted her. He was excited about the prospect of sleeping with her. They stared at each other, both wanting the other and needing the other, but too nervous to take that next step.

Good thing her body was under some kind of spell. His spell. Her legs touched the ground, then pushed off and carried her to him. Her hand found his and led him away from the door. Her feet pushed her up on her tiptoes so her lips could meet his in a soft, tender kiss as his arms went around her. 

He put her further under his spell as he deepened the kiss. One of his hands swooped dangerously low and brought her to him. Her body was flush against his now, and his desire further fueled her own.

Her hands slipped to the hem of his sweater again. This time they grasped it and pulled it up, up, till it got stuck around his head and he had to join in to help her get it the rest of the way off. His hair was full of static and sticking out every which way once the offending sweater was finally in a crumpled pile on the floor. She looked from it to him, and they both burst out laughing. 

“Well, might as well get your sweater off too while we’re at it,” he said, still grinning. He reached for her then hesitated, a frown shadowing his features.

She grabbed his hand and brought it to the hem of her sweater. “Go ahead,” she said as she lifted her arms above her head. He nodded and inched the sweater up her body. She heard it hit the floor behind her a few seconds later but didn’t turn to see. She was too busy looking at him as he stared at her.

She glanced down. Oh yeah. She was wearing her Christmas bra. Her face flushed as she met Sora’s eyes again.

“Do you… do you like it?”

“You did this… for me?” he asked, barely above a whisper.

She nodded. Sure, she liked wearing cute things anyway, but she couldn’t deny that she had hoped Sora would see it too.

His lips parted, ever so slightly. “You were hoping we would—”

She nodded again, a grin spreading across her face.

“Kairi, I—” He hugged her and buried his face in her shoulder, his lips brushing against her bare skin. That felt good. Really good. She brought her hand to his hair and ran her fingers through it, marvelling at how soft it was. 

He straightened and cupped her face in his hands, then kissed her again. Slowly, deeply. His hands roamed across her, getting used to skin-to-skin contact, and she did the same. Lots of light, gentle touches to see how he would react. The times she’d healed him aside, it had been ages since she’d touched him like this, and it was like getting to know his body all over again.

Her bra strap slipped down her shoulder, and Sora, ever the gentleman, moved to straighten it. But before he could, she reached behind her back and unhooked the clasp. His eyes snapped to hers as she smiled at him. The bra slid down her arms, and he wasn’t looking at her face anymore. He was staring in a way that made it really, really obvious where exactly it was he wanted to touch next.

She cleared her throat, and he looked into her eyes again, his face red. “I’m sorry, I—”

Nope. No time for that. She grabbed his hand and guided it to her chest, giggling as he gasped. Then it was her turn to gasp when his thumb brushed against her nipple. His fingers were so big and strong, his skin a little rough, and yet he was so gentle as he touched her. He cupped one of her boobs in his hand, and it bounced a little because he was trembling so much. 

His eyes met hers again, and he bit his lip, trying but failing to suppress his grin. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he admitted as he played with her breasts some more. She suspected he would play with them all night if she let him.

“And you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” she told him as she gently pried his hands away and wrapped them around her. There. They were finally hugging, skin against skin, his heartbeat the closest it could be to hers without opening him up. She rested her ear against his chest, and sure enough, she could hear its steady rhythm.

“Hear that?” he murmured as he kissed her hair. “It beats for you.”

Her hand curled against his chest, and she looked up into his eyes. His name was on the tip of her tongue, but he silenced her with his lips before she could say it.

His kisses were eager now as his hands continued to roam. And hers did, too, slipped to the waistband of his sweatpants again, ready to get the rest of his clothes off of him.

“Tell me to stop,” she murmured, her voice husky as she peppered his jaw with more kisses and gave him one last chance to put a halt to this.

“Don’t. Please.”

That was all she needed to hear. His breathless plea drove her to tug his sweatpants down, leaving him in nothing but his boxers and his crown necklace. And his boxers were hanging dangerously low now because of her. The room seemed hotter as she stared at the V that started at his hips and swept downwards towards—

She let out a surprised squeak as his hands went to her skirt. He looked to her for permission, then started inching it down with one hand. The other hand found its way to her butt and caressed it, with only the flimsy material from her underwear in the way. Soon the skirt and her legwarmers were in a pile on the ground, and his eyes fluttered shut as he focused on touching her, feeling the curve of her butt, the small of her back.

When he opened his eyes again, he glanced down. His eyes widened, then the corner of his lip lifted in a slight smile. “They’re matching?”

She nodded. “Mmm-hmmm.”

“You really—for me?”

“That depends,” she teased. “Do you like them?”

“Like them? Kairi, I love them.”

“Then Merry Christmas.” She grinned and pulled him closer for a long, languid kiss. Afterwards, she grabbed one of his hands and slid it underneath the waistband of her underwear. “Well? You gonna unwrap the rest of your present now?” she murmured. 

He didn’t have to be told twice. With trembling fingers he tugged her underwear down, and soon it was in a pile at her feet.

Oh God. Oh God. Sora was staring and she was naked and she couldn’t stand to look him in the eye anymore. Her face burned as she looked down and pressed her legs together, fighting the urge to cover herself with her hands.

He put his hand under her chin and gently tilted her head up so she had to meet his eyes. 

“Kairi, you’re beautiful.”

A lump built in her throat as his eyes roamed over her, taking in every inch of her body like he really, truly meant what he said. When his eyes met hers again, they were filled with wonder.

Without a word, he brought her into his arms again and held her. “My wife,” he whispered, as if saying it any louder would break the spell.

She couldn’t stop the tears that escaped her eyes as she clung to him. Buried her face in his neck and breathed deeply of his scent. His desire for her was there between them, but he wasn’t rushing, he wasn’t pushing; he was taking his time like he wanted to savor every moment. When he finally pulled back to look at her, a few tears of his own were shining in his eyes.

“My turn to be brave,” he said softly, leading her hand to his boxers. “Care to—”

“Unwrap my husband?” she lightly teased, trying to ease his nerves. But the look in his eyes at her words, at hearing her call him her husband, threatened to make fresh tears well up in her eyes. They weren’t even having sex yet and they were already both this emotional. What would happen once they were finally joined together?

Well, to do that, she had to get the rest of him free. So she focused on getting his boxers off, curious to finally see what she’d felt on and off through the years.

There. He was fully naked now, and it was her turn to be fascinated. Her turn to stare in wonder at this part of himself he hadn’t shared with her before. When she glanced up to share her wonder with him though, he had averted his eyes, and his cheeks were flushing red.

Overcome by the urge to make him feel desired, wanted, she reached out and cupped him in her hand, marvelling at how his body reacted to her touch. When she brushed her thumb over his tip, his sharp inhale made her glance up again.

This time he was looking at her. The look in his eyes was so intense, so raw, that some of her embarrassment returned and she had to let go of him. What had she been thinking, touching him so suddenly like that—

He grasped her hand and led it back to him. “Please.”

She did as he asked, and the feel of her hand on his dick, the wonderful scent of his body, the way he moaned and bucked into her hand—she understood now his fascination with touching her.

But not for long, because then he grabbed her hand and gently pulled it away.

She tilted her head. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” he choked out, grasping her shoulders to steady himself, “not at all.”

“O-oh.”

She waited as his breathing evened out. His eyes were half-lidded, his body flushed all over. When his eyes met hers again, the hunger in them as he took in her body made her mouth go dry.

“Can I—?” he asked.

“Please.”

His hand slid to her stomach and followed its gentle swell lower, lower. Reaching between her legs, he stroked and caressed her, feeling for himself the kind of effect he had on her. She whimpered and moaned as he touched her, and when his fingers brushed against her clit, she gasped and grabbed onto his bicep to steady herself.

“Should we take this to the bed?” he asked softly.

All she could do was nod, and he scooped her up into his arms and gently laid her on the bed. But he didn’t join her, just stood there awkwardly, staring at her body but refusing to partake in what she was offering.

“It’s okay,” she said, realizing how nerve-wracking this must be for him, too.

His eyes met hers, and he was hesitant, unsure. “Kairi, I—”

She took a deep breath and spread her legs a little wider. “It’s okay, really. You’re my husband, and I want this. I want you. We don’t have to wait any longer. Go ahead and make me your wife.”

He hesitated for a moment, then got on the bed and crawled over till he was hovering over her. He was so much bigger than her, so much stronger, and yet, she wasn’t scared or afraid. If anything, she felt safe and protected, sheltered by his strength.

With shaking hands, she reached for his neck and pulled him down into a kiss. He melted into it, pressing his body flush against hers as he kissed her deeply. She tilted her hips upwards, and the feeling of him against her was so exquisite they both bucked into each other, interrupting their kiss so they could stare into each other’s eyes.

Having him so close made her realize how empty she felt right now, how much she wanted him to fill her. No, needed him to. It was this craving that got worse the longer they took, especially because he was so close she could feel him brushing up against her, teasing her with his arousal. 

“I want you,” she pleaded, her gaze flickering to what exactly it was she wanted. “Please.”

He leaned down and kissed her neck, making her moan. “Are you… are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m sure!” Frustrated, she grasped his hips and thrust up against him, making him groan. Her hand shook again as she found his dick and guided him to her entrance. It was her turn to moan as his tip brushed against her. This was it. She looked up into his eyes, wanting to see into his soul as he joined their bodies together.

He hesitated. “I don’t—I don’t wanna hurt you—”

She brought her other hand to his face and cupped his cheek. “Just go slow and be gentle. It’ll be fine. I trust you.”

His lips parted, then he gave her a beautiful, tender smile that warmed her heart.

“The question is,” she said as she stroked his cheek, “do you trust me?”

He leaned forward and kissed her so boldly it took her breath away. “Yes,” he finally said when he broke away.

She relaxed, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Then give yourself to me.”

Her hand found his dick again, and this time he didn’t stop her as she brought him to her entrance. He was slow and gentle as he pushed inside her, and a soft moan escaped his lips. Her breath caught and she clutched the sheets, and he froze.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice so strained she barely recognized it. His brow furrowed as he looked into her eyes.

She nodded. This felt… different. She’d never had anything besides her fingers inside of her, and he was really filling her up and pushing against her in a way she wasn’t used to. But it didn’t hurt, just felt a little tight. Like he was opening her up to make room for him.

“I’m fine,” she said weakly. “Just… not used to this. You feel so… so full.”

He twitched and groaned, and she giggled and wiggled her hips a little. It was weird and kinda fun how she could feel him react to her.

“Keep going slow,” she told him. “It’ll be fine, I just need time to adjust.”

He went a little deeper, and when she saw the look in his eyes as he did, saw how he was looking at her, she had to kiss him. So she did, and unfortunately, that made him slip out of her.

“S-sorry,” he said, clearly embarrassed.

“No, it’s okay, this is new for us both.”

His second attempt went more smoothly, and he made it deeper this time, too. It really did feel like her body was getting used to having him there. 

She shifted her hips a little, and he moaned and buried his face in her neck. “Fuck, Kai,” he choked out, his breath hot on her skin.

She giggled. She thought sex would be some over the top, earth-shattering thing, but this felt… real. Physical. Like it was the most natural thing in the worlds despite all their bumbling. She wasn’t sure why she’d been so nervous. This was still Sora, and he was as gentle as he’d always been with her. He was fumbling just as much as she was, and yet they were still having a good time together.

He tried going deeper, and something didn’t feel right. She frowned, and he paused.

“Different angle?” he asked.

She nodded, and—Oh. _ Oh. _Wow, that felt good. Her hand brushed against his and their eyes met. And the look in his eyes stirred something deep within her. Her husband, her Sora, had just handed his heart and body and soul over to her. He had laid himself bare, made himself vulnerable, opened himself up to both unimaginable pain and unimaginable pleasure, leaving the choice in her hands because he trusted her with his life. 

She found his hand, and he twined their fingers together. A part of her was scared to move, scared for this moment to end. The way he was looking at her right now was the same as when he’d looked at her after her act of true love all those years ago, and—

He still loved her. She could see it in his eyes, see how much he adored her. And he wasn’t rushing through this; he was waiting till she was ready, he was being so gentle and slow even though he looked like he wanted to do nothing more than pound into her until he came.

“Kairi?” he asked, his voice husky.

“Yes?”

“Can I move?”

“Oh! Yes, please, just—”

“Slowly. Got it.”

He exhaled and gently pulled out, trying to suppress a groan but failing. When he pushed back in, she clutched his hand, her eyes rolling back into her head as she felt him move inside her. When she opened her eyes again, it was so she could watch his face as he made love to her. The fumbling and weird angles and figuring out the mechanics of it all just made her feel that much closer to him. They were in this together, and that was what mattered. 

When she had a better feel for the timing of his thrusts, she tried moving her hips to match his rhythm. Oh, that felt even better than before, both for him and for her. He groaned and buried his face in her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around him and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look at me,” she said softly, wanting to see his eyes again. That was one of the best parts about this. The pleasure she was bringing him, the awe and wonder and affection he was feeling, were written all over his face and reflected in his eyes, and he was trying to hide them from her.

He finally lifted his head, and his eyebrows were scrunched up.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Close, too close... Want you to... come first—”

Something about his words made her heart melt. “Sora,” she said, surprised by the tenderness in her own voice. And that was his undoing. In the end, all it took was his name. He let out a soft cry and rocked hard against her, and she held him as he released inside her. It felt weird and yet… good, too. Warm and pulsing and filling, like he was trying to squeeze every last drop of himself into her, share his soul till it left his body and entered hers.

When she looked into his eyes again, her stomach dropped. They were blue. Oh God, they were blue and he looked like himself and—

“Sora?” she said again, but his energy was gone, his eyes closed. To his credit, he was trying to keep some of his weight off of her, but he had still sort of collapsed into a pile on top of her, and she couldn’t really move, even if she’d wanted to. So she stroked his head and back as he recovered, and that was when it hit her. 

They’d just had sex. He’d just released inside of her. She was his and he was hers and she’d loved it. Loved every moment of it. Loved feeling him come undone. Loved how her voice was all it took to make him lose it. Loved how she was enough to make his eyes turn blue. Enough for his real self to shine through. She felt so warm inside, too, like his warmth was spreading throughout her entire body.

Then something else hit her. This was going to end soon, and she didn’t want it to. She wanted to hold him like this forever. She wanted him to stay.

He finally lifted his head again and opened his eyes, and they were back to gold. She fought the sinking feeling in her stomach. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, really. It was a fluke that it had even happened in the first place—

No. It wasn’t a fluke. Maybe this, maybe this intimacy they had shared, maybe it was the key to saving him. She could sense his darkness, sense it at war with the light within him. He was fighting it, he was fighting it with all his strength. He had been for months now. If she kept sharing her heart and body with him, if she kept sharing her light, then maybe the tides would finally turn. Maybe his heart would be fully restored. 

He rolled off of her and onto his back, breaking the connection between them as he slipped out of her. She felt a little empty, a little hollow without him there.

“Kai?” he asked, his voice still low as he turned his head to look at her. The battle was over for now; she would have to wait until next time. “Did you—”

She snuggled up against him. He was so warm, and she wanted to cuddle. 

“No, but it’s okay,” she said as she pressed a kiss against his chest. “I still had a good time.”

He turned his head away. “Oh. I wish… I wish you had.”

She shrugged. “Me too, but really, it’s not a big deal. We’ll figure it out together, okay?”

He was silent, so she made sure to tell him that she really did love every second of it. She loved how he felt and really, she couldn’t have asked for a better first time.

After cuddling for a little while longer, she figured she should go clean up. She was still turned on, too, and wanted to do something about it without pressuring him when he was so drained of energy. 

She climbed into the tub, and it didn’t take long to get herself off. Not when she was so aroused already. All she had to do was picture Sora’s face as they’d made love, recall the noises he’d made as he’d come undone, and soon she was going over the edge, too. When she looked at herself in the mirror afterwards, she couldn’t help but smile. Did she look different? She felt different. Her cheeks were flushed and she had this healthy glow about her. 

She giggled. She’d just had sex. Her body had just had her husband inside of it. Speaking of which, a part of him still remained, and maybe she should take a shower just to be sure she got everything cleaned up okay?

She tried to hurry, but the hot water felt so good, and she wanted to make sure she wouldn’t accidentally drip all over everything afterwards. When she was convinced she was good to go, she climbed out of the shower and patted herself down with a towel. Their first night together, she wanted to spend naked in his arms. Something about that just seemed really nice. 

When she emerged from the bathroom, he was still waiting there for her, an unreadable expression on his face.

“You took a shower?”

“Yup! Wanted to make sure I didn’t make a mess,” she said as she flopped back onto the bed and sighed. She might have cleaned herself, but the bed still smelled like the two of them.

“Husband, come here!” she said with a giggle. He nodded and reached for the lamp so he could turn it off. It was dark now as she felt his weight shift on the bed. Then he was beside her, wrapping a blanket around her as she snuggled up next to him.

“Goodnight, Sora,” she murmured.

“Goodnight, Kairi,” he said, and she let out a happy sigh. She couldn’t have asked for a better first time, or a better Christmas night.

* * *

Sora waited. Listened till Kairi’s breathing evened out. Remained until he was sure she was asleep. Then he extracted himself from her arms and grabbed his clothes and fled. The hallway was cold but the tears that stung his eyes were hot, and before long he was safe in his bathroom. He slumped against the door as he tried to pull himself together.

His body was disgusting. He was disgusting. He’d used Kairi. Turned her into a hole to fuck. Just another way to get himself off. She’d made him feel so good, and he couldn’t even hold out long enough to please her, let alone return the favor. He was a failure as her husband and as her lover.

No wonder she hadn’t asked him to help her get off. No wonder she’d rushed to clean his come out of her. No wonder she’d looked at him with disappointment in her eyes when he’d finally opened his again. He didn’t blame her. He was selfish and disgusting, and she was better off without him. Someone filled with darkness like him had no business being around someone filled with light like her. 

“It was pity, wasn’t it?” he whispered as he buried his face in his hands. “That’s why she let me sleep with her.”

He crawled over to the toilet and retched until there was nothing left to throw up. His own behavior disgusted him. Of course she had noticed his ugly, animal desires. They were too obvious. He was terrible at hiding them. What was more surprising was that she’d offered her body to a monster like him at all.

And the acting. Why had she acted like everything was fine, like she’d enjoyed it, even? Bounced around afterwards with that glow on her face as she cuddled up next to him like—

That was when it hit him. Oh. This was all for _ his _ sake. All in some twisted attempt to save his darkened soul. Did she have any idea how dangerous he was? The darkness was swirling around inside him now, seething at having come into such close contact to her light, dying to lash out at the source of its pain. She had entered his heart as he’d entered her body, bringing her light along with her, and it had hurt like hell. Hurt like hell, and yet he still wanted more. Wanted more of her light, wanted more of her heart, wanted more of her body. 

Enough. He had no business desiring her. What if he lost control? What if the darkness took over? He couldn’t let himself sleep with her again. He just couldn’t. 

He flushed the toilet and stood. Found a spare towel and wiped his mouth before looking at the mirror. Haunted yellow eyes stared back at him, and little wisps of darkness wafted off of him. There had been no monster in the mirror; it had been him all along. He was the monster. And if Kairi thought letting the monster fuck her was going to save the monster, she was sadly mistaken. His humanity was gone. It was the price he’d paid to save her, and nothing was going to bring it back. 

She was good. Too good for her own good. Sacrificing her virginity to the monster in the hopes that he might—that he might—

He clutched his chest and choked back a sob. That was when it hit him. No sacrifice had been necessary. The monster loved her anyway. He loved her with all his heart. Otherwise that heart—well, what was left of it, anyway—wouldn’t be hurting so badly right now. He’d thought the monster wasn’t capable of love anymore, and yet he’d fallen in love again anyway.

Oh, who was he kidding. He’d loved her all along. Even when she hated him, he still loved her. Even when she despised him, he couldn’t stop his heart from doing what it had always done. Having sex with her was just the natural culmination of his feelings, not the start of them. He’d loved her long before their relationship had ever become physical. 

And this wasn’t some big sacrifice for her. It was a normal part of any serious relationship. Enough with the excuses. He was just scared of his own feelings, his own heart.

Because there was no way… no way she loved him back. There was just no way.

Was there?

He thought about the way she’d looked at him tonight. The way she’d responded to him. The way she’d touched him. Had that all really been an act? 

What if it wasn’t? That was almost worse than if it was. She shouldn’t love him. She shouldn’t.

But if she did, would it be… would it be wrong to crave her love?

Yes. Because of what he was now, it was wrong to crave her love, and it was wrong to love her. He shouldn’t love her. He just shouldn’t. She deserved so much better. She deserved the worlds.

But he did love her. He loved her, more deeply now than ever before. She was his wife, in every sense of the word. Heart of his heart, flesh of his flesh. He thought about how good it had felt to become one with her, despite the pain her light colliding with his darkness had brought him. Thought about how wonderful it had been when she’d said his name the way his heart had longed for her to say it again. How that was all it had taken to make him come undone.

Enough. Whether he loved her or not, she deserved better than him. Better to put an end to things now before he could hurt her. He never should’ve let himself sleep with her in the first place. The risk was too great. He’d have to put distance between them starting tomorrow. At least it was still winter. He could hide himself. Cover up his body and remove the temptation. 

As he climbed into bed, he imagined her snuggling up against him and almost lost it all over again. A part of him wished he could've stayed with her and held her in his arms. His bed was cold and empty without her in it.

But he was a monster, and she was human, and no amount of sex would ever change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings for this chapter: PIV sex, masturbation, emotional turmoil on Sora's end afterwards
> 
> Types of sexual content for the rest of the story (please note this is tentative and subject to change): PIV sex (in a variety of positions and places), oral sex (cunnilingus and blow jobs in a variety of positions), fingering, masturbation, mutual masturbation, and handjobs. A lot of the sex is vanilla, especially earlier on, but a few chapters do have some kinky stuff (one chapter, as of right now, involves handcuffs, and a couple of chapters have edging/orgasm control). As always, each individual chapter will include content warnings for that chapter. I will also be updating the tags to account for a few chapters I've written later on in the story. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was probably a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally, but it marks an important turning point in the story. Thanks for the kudos and comments, and I'll see you next week!


	13. Absence Makes the Heart...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Sora woke up the next morning feeling sick at heart.

How was he gonna face Kairi? How was he supposed to look her in the eye knowing what had happened between the two of them last night?

Nothing was all that different, not really, and yet everything had changed. He felt naked, exposed. She knew him, knew his selfishness and weakness, and he knew her, knew her selflessness and caring.

Which meant she would probably try to sleep with him again. That was just how she was. She would stoop that low again if she thought it might help him. 

Enough. He had to stop her from letting him taint her any further. Had to stop before he endangered her. 

The worst part was the dark creature inside of him _ wanted _ to taint her and hurt her. Wanted to take her in his arms again and fill her with his darkness. Extinguish her light as she succumbed to his touch and affection. Or maybe her light would win. Maybe it would destroy him with her sweet kisses and tender words. 

Either way they were gonna destroy each other. Unless he did something. Unless he protected her. 

He hardly paid any attention to the clothes he threw on his body. All that mattered was that it was covered. In his mind’s eye he felt Kairi’s hands slide up under his sweater. Remembered how good her touch had felt when—

“Stop. _ Stop,_” he commanded the figure in the mirror before turning from it and going into the hall.

“Husband!”

His heart dropped. Of course she was there waiting for him. Of course. Wearing a cute winter dress and matching boots. 

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and she was so soft and warm. “Hey! Where were you this morning? I missed you.” Her lips twitched as she leaned closer, her eyes briefly flickering down before meeting his again. “All of you, my king.”

He stiffened and pulled away from her. He couldn’t let her seduce him. He couldn’t.

The effect was immediate. The look on her face went from happy to confused to wounded, and he couldn’t look her in the eye anymore. It just hurt too much.

“Sora? Is everything okay?”

Hearing his name again like that opened up something deep inside him, something desperate and vulnerable, and he couldn’t let it stay open. 

He cleared his throat. “I’m fine, thank you. Are you doing well?”

She gripped his shoulder. “Is this about last night?” Her face flushed as she glanced at her shoes, her toes pointing inwards like they always did when she was being especially cute. “That was… one of the best nights of my life, but if there was anything about it that wasn’t good for you, please, tell me.”

She looked up into his eyes again, so earnest and sincere. So willing to hear from him, to hear his feedback because she wanted to make their lovemaking better. 

How could he tell her, that she hadn’t done anything wrong, but everything right. That he already craved her again, even though he had no right to. That a part of him wanted to kiss her right now and see where it led, let his emotions and hormones get the better of him till he was entwined with her so tightly that nothing could tear them apart.

“Kairi, I…”

She looked at him expectantly, her lips slightly parted. No. He couldn’t lie about his feelings. She’d see right through him. 

“You were…”

Perfect. An angel. A goddess. His wife, just like he was her husband. But her eyebrow was raised, and he knew he couldn’t say any of that, either. 

He took a deep breath and tried a different tactic. “Maybe we shouldn’t…”

She tilted her head. “Shouldn’t what?”

“I mean, we kinda rushed into things yesterday. What was I even thinking? Our marriage has never been about sex!” Forcing a smile, he scratched his cheek. “Sorry, Kairi, I guess all that Christmas spirit got to me.”

But instead of agreeing with him, her voice was very stiff. “I see.” 

Her expression was closed-off, unreadable, and Sora did what he always did when he was nervous: kept babbling.

“I married you to protect you, and so far I feel like I’ve been doing a pretty good job. Sex would just get in the way of that, you know? Can’t let myself be emotionally compromised like I was all those other times I couldn’t protect you. Yesterday was just a weird fluke, and it won’t happen again. Sorry for thinking with my dick instead of my actual brain.” 

She waved her hand in the air. “No need to apologize, Your Majesty. I understand.” 

The _ Your Majesty _ was like a stab right through his heart. She called him many things, many tender endearments, but that was not one of them. He was back to being the aloof, distant king who she kept at arm’s length. Not her husband or lover or friend. 

“Kairi?” He reached out to her, but he was too late. She was already retreating. Already just out of his grasp, like she always was in the end.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” were her final words as she slammed her bedroom door shut behind her. He withdrew his hand. He had to do something to fix this. He couldn’t bear to let this come between them.

He was just about to knock on her door when Octavius interrupted him. “Your Majesty?”

He bit back the urge to sigh loudly. “What is it, Octavius?”

“A security issue. There’s a rabble gathering in the merchant’s district again.”

Sora looked at Kairi’s door. This was what he hated about ruling. All the time spent away from her. And this of all times, when he needed to speak to her the most.

“It sounds pretty serious this time,” Octavius added as he glanced at Kairi’s door, “but if you’re otherwise occupied—”

“No, I should deal with it now.” He allowed Octavius to take him away from her, murmuring, “Hang in there, Kairi, we’ll talk about this more later,” under his breath as he left.

Surely she would realize this was for the best. Sex just wasn’t worth the cost for her. It was better this way, really. No monster to satisfy, no darkness to taint her, no evil to hurt her, no man to disappoint her, and no mess to clean up. No reason to worry about getting pregnant, either, though the pills she got from Dr. Valens had taken care of that. Clearly, she didn’t want to conceive, and Sora couldn’t really blame her. Who would want to have his kids, anyway? He was a monster, and no woman in her right mind would let him—

He just wished Kairi had told him about the pills. Her body, her right, but… it still kinda hurt, knowing that she’d hidden something so important from him, like he couldn’t be trusted with the information.

Not that it really mattered. If they weren’t having sex, birth control was pointless anyway. 

Knowing what he was missing now though… this was gonna be harder than he thought. No way to love and cherish Kairi more deeply and tenderly than he had ever loved and cherished her before. He could still hug her and kiss her and tell her nice things, but it wouldn’t be the same. Wouldn’t be the same as holding her in his arms and making love to her. 

But that was the price he would pay for keeping her safe… from their enemies, from the worlds, and most of all, from himself.

Because, even now, he was still the greatest threat to her of them all.

* * *

Kairi stared up at the ceiling and fought back tears as the water in the tub ran over her.

Sora didn’t want to have sex with her. That was all there was to it. One time, and he’d already decided he wasn’t interested. He could dress it up in nice words all he wanted, but that was the cold stark reality.

Grabbing the washcloth, she went through the possible reasons why. Maybe she hadn’t been good enough. Hadn’t pleased him. But what did he expect? That was her first time, of course she didn’t really know what to do. And he’d come just fine, despite all of her awkwardness.

There was another possibility, one she didn’t want to think about, and it was that he wasn’t attracted to her. He’d rushed into things and had been desperate enough last night to make an exception, but otherwise he wouldn’t have settled for her. Maybe it was her body. Her boobs were average and she was on the skinny side. Her legs were long for her height and gangly, and her figure was closer to a pear than an hourglass. Maybe she just wasn’t Sora’s type.

He could have anyone in the kingdom he desired, after all. He was the king.

She looked at the soaked lingerie hanging off her body and sighed. Who cared if the water ruined it. She hadn’t bothered taking it off before climbing into the tub because her own husband didn’t even want her. Sure, she’d always loved wearing cute things, but there was no point in wearing something like this anymore. 

After her bath, she found some new, comfier clothes to throw on and flopped onto the bed. She was too heartsick to attend to her queenly duties today, and she told Alma no visitors. 

The hours passed in a sort of listless haze of sleep and waking till there was a knock on her door.

“Kairi?” came Sora’s voice. She hugged her pillow and rolled over, and thankfully Alma came to the rescue. Her muffled voice traveled through the door as she explained that Kairi didn’t want any visitors. 

“Not even me?” was Sora’s reply, and even through the door Kairi could hear the hurt in it. It wasn’t hard to picture the wounded expression on his face, either.

There was silence for a moment before he responded. “I see. Tell Her Majesty that her king hopes she’ll feel better soon.”

Tears stung at Kairi’s eyes again. He had called himself her king and had used the same cold form of address that she had always used to keep him at arm’s length. 

It was around dinnertime, but her appetite was gone and she couldn’t face him again. So she hugged the pillow tighter and cried herself to sleep. Tomorrow would be a new day and she could pull herself together for it. But for tonight, she would allow herself to grieve.

* * *

“She doesn’t want to talk to me anymore,” Sora said to himself as he stared at the mirror, his eyes empty. “She won’t even listen to me.”

Sleeping with her had been a mistake. He never should’ve allowed himself to. Then they wouldn’t be in this whole mess right now. 

Barging into her room wasn’t an option. Even if she hadn’t made it really obvious she didn’t want to see him, it wasn’t like he could just scoop her up into his arms and apologize before kissing her senseless. 

Well, he could do that, but he knew himself. If he started kissing her, he wouldn’t want to stop. Especially not after last night. And he had to stop. He had to, for her safety. Best if he just didn’t start at all. Maybe it was for the best that she was pushing him away, too. He didn’t know if he was strong enough to resist her on his own for long anymore. Especially not with the darkness wanting her, too… just for entirely different reasons.

He raked his fingers through his hair and groaned. This was gonna be torture. Maybe he should stop putting off that trip to check on the security of the kingdom. If he and Kairi could both have time to clear their heads… to think… to get some space from each other… it might do them a world of good. 

Besides, they’d been separated before. Every time they were reunited after one of those separations, things had gotten better. They’d gotten closer. 

Maybe the same would happen this time, too.

* * *

Sora was gone for the next couple of weeks on his trip, and Kairi did her best to muddle through without him. He missed the New Year’s Celebration, not that it really mattered. Trying to celebrate another holiday with him around probably would’ve been too painful, anyway. Her days were spent in meetings with his advisors and a showcase of the castle she didn’t remember much about, and her nights were spent trying not to think about him.

Late one night, she snuck into the kitchen for some comfort food while wearing a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants when the light turned on.

“Kairi, love! What are you doing still up?” Priscilla said, her face twisted into a scowl, her shawl already draped over her head and her bag slung over her shoulder.

“O-oh! I didn’t realize you were still here. Sorry.”

“Had a late night prepping for tomorrow’s banquet. But the real question is, what are you doing here?”

“I’m the queen. Don’t I have a right to be here?”

Priscilla gave her a knowing look as she set her bag down. “That’s not what I was asking, love. What’s the matter, really?”

Somehow Priscilla’s kindness just made it worse. The feelings Kairi had been stuffing down over the past weeks came bubbling up all at once, and to her dismay she burst into tears. Priscilla just pulled her into a hug and patted her on the back.

“Cry all you need to, love. It’s the king, isn’t it? You miss him.”

How to say that she didn’t just miss him, she missed all of him. His smile, his laughter, his heart, his body. That she still wanted him even if he didn’t want her. But none of that was appropriate to share with someone who was technically her employee, so she kept her mouth shut and let Priscilla think she just missed Sora because his trip was taking a while.

When she was about cried out, Priscilla sat her down at the break table in the corner.

“I’ll make you a nice hot cup of tea, and I’ve got some chocolate chip cookies hidden in the cupboard.” She gave Kairi a wink. “Private stash not even Marcus knows about.”

Kairi dutifully drank the tea and nibbled on the cookies as Priscilla continued to soothe her. As nice as that was, Kairi missed her other friends. Missed Riku. Missed Naminé. Missed Aqua and Xion and the rest of them. She hadn’t heard from any of them in weeks.

But still, Priscilla was doing her best, and Kairi did feel a little better afterwards. She lingered in the kitchen after Priscilla had gone home for the night, not really wanting to go back to her empty bed. Visions of Sora as he made love to her still haunted her memories. His moans and cries of pleasure, his warmth and heat, his body fitting perfectly with hers, his eyes turning blue as she laid his soul bare...

She sighed and went to the freezer for some chocolate ice cream. Maybe it would help. As she sat back down and attacked the frozen lump of creamy goodness with her spoon, she muttered to herself about other things she could be doing in her free time. Picking up another hobby. Making more arts and crafts. Writing letters. Drawing. Training. Anything to get her mind off of the fact that Sora didn’t want to have sex with her. 

The spoon was halfway to her mouth when she looked up and saw him standing there, frozen. She dropped it onto the floor with a loud clank. His hair was sweaty and his shirt was unbuttoned. His skin was glistening, too, even though it was still winter, and his pants were tight and looked entirely too good on his legs.

Ugh, of all the times to surprise her, it had been when she’d been pigging out on ice cream and muttering about how badly she needed to distract herself.

“Kairi?” he finally said, breaking the silence. “What are you doing still up?”

“Welcome back,” she muttered as she retrieved the dropped spoon. “I’m guessing you just got back in?”

Her mouth was smeared with chocolate. She must look like such a slob right now. She licked part of it off and wiped the rest off with her hand, and when she looked at Sora, his gaze was fixed on her.

“I did,” was his answer, “and I’m starving.”

He kept looking at her, and she coughed and cleared her throat. “Well, you just missed Priscilla. She already went home for the night.” Grabbing her ice cream, she stood and gestured in the direction of the food. “There’s plenty of stuff in the pantry if you need anything.”

Taking the dirty spoon over to the sink, she started rinsing it off when she felt Sora take it from her. “Here, let me,” he said softly, and he was too close, his amazing smell hitting her all at once and making her head spin.

She snatched the spoon back from him. “That’s okay, really. Go get something to eat!” 

He wrapped his arms around her from behind, and she squeaked and dropped the spoon again… along with the carton of ice cream.

“Food can wait,” he murmured, and his voice sent a jolt down her spine. “I want to hold my wife.” 

Her heart was pounding and her mouth went dry as he brushed the hair back from her neck and kissed her. She moaned softly as he continued to kiss her, his lips warm and gentle on her skin. After several more moments of making out with her neck, his hands slid up her shirt. With no bra on, she soon felt his fingers brush against her nipples as he stroked and caressed her, which made the ache between her legs build even more.

Her butt was against his crotch, and when she rubbed up against him, he groaned and rubbed back, his arousal pressing into her. His hands were roaming all over her body now, touching and groping and grabbing as he kept grinding against her. A moan escaped him again, right in her ear this time. 

She whirled around to face him, and what she saw in his eyes made her heart sink. Wild desperation. Pure lust. Not the tender love and affection she was hoping for. 

“My king,” she said, her voice strained as she removed his hands from her body, “perhaps it’s best if you find another outlet for your desires. Remember what happened last time we tried this.”

She hated the wounded look in his eyes, but it was for the best. She didn’t want to be hurt, and he would regret it if he let himself get distracted. 

“It’s like you said before. Sex will just distract you from keeping me safe.” She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hide the shape of her boobs through her t-shirt. But he said nothing, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and ducked her head. “Besides, you don’t really need me, do you? Plenty of women in the kingdom would be happy to sleep with you. You’re the king, and you’re handsome, too. I bet if we put out a call tomorrow morning they’d be lining up to—”

“No.”

She sighed. “I don’t understand. You want sex, and I’m not an option, clearly. Just find another woman to help you get off if it’s that important to you. Doesn’t really make a difference who it is as long as you’re satisfied, right?”

“It makes all the difference in the world,” he said, his voice low, unable to meet her eyes.

She nodded. “Right. Of course. You’d want to make sure you’re actually attracted to her. Whoever it is, just let me know first, okay? I’d prefer it if I both know and like her. Might make things awkward if I don’t.”

Well, now that they had that sorted, she could get back to her ice cream. She grabbed it along with a new spoon and walked away. This conversation was getting too awkward and painful as it was. 

“Kairi, I don’t want sex, I—”

She turned around, eyebrow raised, spoon in her mouth. “You don’t want sex? Yeah right. Your dick already ratted you out, sorry. You’re many things, Sora, but a good liar is not one of them.”

He didn’t say anything after that, and she was grateful. She could finally eat her ice cream alone, in peace, and think about Sora standing there, looking like a god, think about him bringing her into his arms and touching her and—

Nope, the ice cream wasn’t helping. Not at all.

* * *

Sora retreated into his room and slammed the door behind him. His body was screaming for some kind of relief. Holding Kairi after not getting to see her for days, after debating with himself whether this was even the right thing to do or not, only to have her rebuff his advances in the end, was torture of the worst kind. 

Her words hurt, too. Did she really think he had no control over himself? That he would just sleep with whoever was available to satisfy his urges? Yeah, if he was willing to do that, he wouldn’t be so damn frustrated right now. The ache in his lower body already promised a long, sleepless night of misery unless he did something about it.

How could she not see? See his frustration and longing. _ She _ was the only one he wanted. No one else would cut it. It was her or nobody. 

He flopped onto the bed and sighed. Maybe it was a mistake hoping for sex. It would still put her at risk. She’d just looked sexy enough in her t-shirt and sweats with no bra, hair piled on her head, chocolate smudged on her lips, that a general fog of horniness had taken over his brain until she’d shut him down. Well, his mind, not his body. It was still crying for sex. He had to do something to get it to shut up, and soon. Not with her, obviously, and never with another woman, but… 

What if she hadn’t stopped him? What if, after she’d turned around, she’d pulled his face down for a passionate kiss? He could imagine her scent, her taste, as he kissed her. Feel her body against his as she welcomed his arousal instead of running from it. He would get that t-shirt off of her so he could see and touch her beautiful curves more easily, and then her soft hands would unzip his pants and pull them down so she could stroke his dick.

He was gentle with himself the way she would be gentle with him. Tried to imitate the way her touch felt as he imagined her face and voice. He remembered what it felt like when she’d first touched him, the look in her eyes as she did. Pictured her biting her lip in excitement throughout their encounter, her eyes rolling back and the moan that would escape her lips when they were flush against each other and he was fully inside of her.

And all of her soft little noises as she started moving with him. He would start out gentle till she had adjusted to him being there. Then it wouldn’t be enough anymore. She would urge him to go faster, harder, more moans escaping her till she was squirming and writhing in his arms as he pounded into her.

He could hear her voice as she cried his name and lost all control. Could feel her tighten and squeeze all around him until he went over the edge himself, her name on his lips because she was the one who had done this to him. She was the one who had brought him so much pleasure. 

It wasn’t until he opened his eyes that cold hard reality greeted him. The aching in his balls was going down, but there was a mess in his hand now instead. A mess like the one Kairi had had to clean out of herself. 

He was gross, disgusting. Gross for doing this, gross for using her to get himself off like this. This couldn’t be normal. She deserved better.

He took a shower afterwards to try to get rid of the mess. If only his pleasure didn’t come along with all this. Cleaning up after himself was tedious, every time. And he’d made Kairi do it because he’d been selfish. Because he wanted sex and—

He scrubbed his hand. Scrubbed it hard to get the mess out. Scrubbed it till it was raw and bleeding. There. That was what he deserved. A fitting punishment for using Kairi like that.

When he finally flopped into bed again, he was so tired he passed out almost immediately. But before he slipped off into sleep, he saw Kairi’s face one last time. She wasn’t disappointed or angry, just sad.

He wondered why in his final moments of waking, and then she was gone.

* * *

Kairi was back home on Destiny Islands, sprawled out on the shore. The tide swept past her, the waves coming in one after the other. Her clothing hung loose around her, soaking wet and clinging to her body. The stars shone above, but not even they could help her feel better.

“Kairi?”

She didn’t even bother sitting up. What was the point?

“The others wanted me to let you know that we’re making steady progress on our end. How are things going for you?”

“Awful.” No point in hiding the truth. 

“What happened?”

She turned her head, and Xion was sitting there beside her with her chin resting on her knees. Her blue eyes were the exact same color as Sora’s should be, and Kairi had to look away.

“Naminé hasn’t told you already?” she finally replied.

“You know how she feels about prying into private memories. She won’t do it unless she has to.”

“I guess I’ll just tell you, then. Sora and I finally had sex.”

Xion’s eyes lit up as a big smile spread across her face. “Kairi, that’s great! Isn’t that what you both wanted?”

“I thought so. But everything’s been a disaster ever since.”

Xion frowned. “A disaster how? Sora has more light in his heart than ever, according to some very reliable sources. Whatever you’re doing seems to be working.”

Kairi sighed. “Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want me. He knows, on some level, I’m doing this to help him. Maybe he wants someone who can just… love him for who he is.” She stared up at the sky and could almost picture his face. “I know I’m not that person. I’m still clinging to how he used to be.”

“I think we all are,” Xion said softly. “We all miss him.”

Kairi sat up. “That’s what it is, isn’t it? I just really, really miss him. I thought… maybe… I was getting through to him… but I guess not.”

Xion tilted her head. “Why do you say that?”

“Well… I offered him my body, and… not even that was good enough.”

The words hung heavy between them, and Xion’s expression softened. “That’s what’s really hurting you, isn’t it? You feel like he rejected you.”

“Yes,” Kairi admitted, her voice small as she avoided Xion’s eyes.

“Kairi,” Xion said as she found Kairi’s hand, “I don’t have the connection to him I once did. But whatever’s going on, I know this: Sora still loves you. If you can view all of his behavior in light of that, you’ll be able to figure out what’s going on inside that spiky head of his.”

She smiled, a very Sora-like smile, and Kairi opened her mouth to reply. But before she could, her friend was already gone, out with the tide, and Kairi was alone once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora initiates physical contact/kissing/etc., but Kairi shuts him down. He also touches himself, and his body image issues come up again. Kairi deals with feeling unwanted. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Thank you for the comments and kudos as always. I hope you enjoyed last week's chapter and this week's chapter as well. I figured it was important to delve into the aftermath of what happened in the last chapter more in this one, which is why I included both Sora's POV and Kairi's POV. Anyway, happy holidays, and I'll see you next week!


	14. My Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

When Kairi woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed when she looked in the mirror was the hickey on her neck. Whether Sora had meant to put it there or not, it would be super obvious to anyone that he had… unless she covered it up. 

At least it was still winter. She could get by with wearing turtlenecks and scarves. A nice light blue scarf would match her baggy sweater nicely. With it wrapped around her neck, she made her way to the dining room. 

Sora was already seated at the table, sipping his coffee and reading some reports, when she took her seat. Xion’s advice echoed through her mind, and she took a deep breath. If she could figure out the heart behind his actions… then maybe she could actually believe he still loved her.

“Good morning,” she said as Marcus swooped in and poured her tea. Sora looked up, and his lashes were as full and beautiful as ever. He looked well rested and was properly dressed, too. No tantalizing views of his chest today. 

“Good morning,” he said, a little stiffly. She noticed the skin on his hand and frowned. It was dried and cracked and red.

“What happened to your hand?” she asked. He about dropped his coffee, his face turning red as he avoided her eyes.

“Oh… you know… it’s winter, and I’ve been training a lot…”

She pursed her lips. “You need to take better care of your skin.” Reaching into one of the pockets Cornelia had sewn into her skirt, she pulled out a small bottle of hand lotion made from the oranges on this world. “Here. This should help. I use it for my hands when they’re dry from the cold.”

He cleared his throat and took it from her. “Thanks.” Squeezing some of it onto his fingers, he spread it across his dry, cracked skin as she watched. When he was through, he handed the bottle back, only for her to shake her head.

“Keep it. I’ve got another bottle, and winter won’t be over anytime soon.”

He nodded and tucked the bottle into his pocket. “Thank you, Kairi.”

“You’re welcome, my king.”

He frowned, and she tilted her head. “What is it?”

“Kairi, my name. You know you can say it whenever you want, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then why don’t you?” he asked. Not accusatory, not angry, but a little sad. 

She took a sip of her tea. “You have many names and titles. I use the one I think fits the situation best.”

“My own name isn’t good enough anymore?”

“No, it’s just… reserved for special moments.” She scratched the back of her neck. “Does it bother you? A name’s just a label. No matter what I call you, you’re still you.”

“Yeah, but… you avoid using my name when you’re trying to put distance between us, and you’re doing it again. Why? What’s wrong?”

She chewed her lip. She didn’t know how to answer that. Bringing up sex at the breakfast table wasn’t exactly appropriate, and it was too painful to do, anyway. She didn’t want to think about how Sora didn’t want her. 

“Is this about last night?” he gently prodded, his eyes flickering to her neck. The scarf had slipped down, and she hastily readjusted it. No need to remind Sora about what had happened. He’d probably be embarrassed to remember he’d been so desperate he was willing to sleep with her again.

“Yes,” she finally admitted, “but can we talk about it later?” 

“Of course.”

But later never came. Since Sora had been gone for two weeks, he had a lot to catch up on. His evenings were spent in his study doing paperwork, and he was always so tired that he went to bed immediately afterwards. Once she even caught him sleeping in there, still at his desk, and she left him with a blanket draped over his shoulders so he’d at least be a little more comfortable.

The days turned into weeks, and before she knew it, February was here. Things were cordial between the two of them. She was back to being his partner in running the kingdom, and he always listened to her input and advice, even when he ended up making a different decision. But the no-sex thing was really starting to get to her. She wanted him to be her lover, not just her friend and ruling partner, and he hadn’t so much as touched her since the night he’d gotten back from his trip. Not even friendly touches or hugs, which felt so wrong from someone as naturally affectionate as he was. 

“So, today’s the day all those new young nobles are arriving at court, right?” she said, tugging at her oversized sweater as she tried to get her mind off of everything. They were eating a late lunch together, Monte Cristo sandwiches with the most delicious raspberry jam. 

“Yeah. It’s their coming-of-age ceremony, basically. The ones who turned eighteen this past year will stay at the castle for several months. Get to know how things work around here, and then be presented to the worlds at the end as full adults.”

Kairi remembered her coming-of-age ceremony back on Destiny Islands. Tradition had placed it at twenty, but a law passed in recent years had bumped it down to eighteen, and Riku had been one of the first it had affected. She and Sora had come of age together the following year, and she remembered how fun it was to dress up and take pictures and walk around the Main Island like they were an old married couple. 

Sora had teased her, too, told her that he could finally marry her without their parents’ permission. They were adults now and they could spend every day together if they liked. How innocent and far away that seemed now. The very next day he’d had to leave on yet another mission, and… 

“Kairi?” came his voice, soft and gentle. Her eyes snapped to his face, and he was looking at her with his cheek resting on his hand.

“Sorry, I started daydreaming again,” she said as she ducked her head and cut off another piece of the sandwich to dip into the jam.

“About what?”

“Our coming-of-age ceremony.”

“You remember it?”

“Of course I do.”

She remembered it well, especially because that night, on the beach alone together, the moonlight shining down on them, they’d had a particularly memorable makeout session. The love and desperation in Sora’s eyes, the memories of his soft lips and gentle touch, had kept her going through the separation that had followed. 

What had changed? Where had they gone wrong?

“Kairi, my birthday’s getting close,” Sora said, bringing her back to the present. “Maybe we should set aside some time.”

“For what? A party?”

She already had some plans that she’d been putting into motion, but if he had some ideas, she was ready to hear them. The people would expect something big for his birthday, and she had to make sure she rose to the occasion. 

“No, I mean… for us.”

She examined him carefully. He certainly seemed sincere. “Okay.” 

He smiled, and her heart fluttered. Curse it for still being so weak to his smile after all this time. He hadn’t smiled much lately, either, which made every smile that much more precious.

Maybe things could go back to the way they used to be. Or maybe, someday, they’d be better than ever before. 

But until his heart was fully restored, they couldn’t be. Wouldn’t be. The guilt gnawed away at her. How had she let herself get so distracted again? She owed it to him to stay focused. Saving him was her goal. Everything else, including any happily ever afters, would have to come later.

* * *

Sora thought of Kairi as he strolled through the castle and sighed. His birthday still seemed really far away. What if they didn’t get to spend any time alone together before then? There was still Valentine’s Day and White Day at least, but—

He stopped. A few feet away from him was a young woman with red hair, looking very lost. Her eyes were green and she wore a pretty dress. Must be one of the new nobles here for the coming-of-age stuff.

“Hey,” he said, and she looked his way. “Looking for something?”

Her hands went to her skirts as she curtsied. “Oh, Your Majesty! I hate to admit, but I’m afraid I’m rather lost.”

“Don’t worry, this castle’s a little confusing at first. What is it you’re looking for?”

She pulled out a pamphlet from the little pouch around her waist. “The banquet hall. We’re supposed to meet there for afternoon tea.”

“I can show you where it is, Lady...”

“Lygia. My name is Lygia.”

She smiled, and Sora couldn’t help but smile back. She had cute dimples and a light dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks, the way Kairi always used to when they were kids and spent their days in the sun.

And when was the last time she had smiled at him the way Lygia was smiling at him now? It sure would be nice for her to smile at him again like that. 

He shook his head a little and cleared his throat. What was he doing, gawking like that? He was the king, and this was exactly the way nasty rumors started. He had to be above even the suspicion of bad behavior. 

“Right this way, Lady Lygia,” he said as he held his arm out in the direction of the banquet hall, and she giggled into her hand. Just like Kairi always used to giggle into her hand. He led the way and couldn’t help but wonder. Was this what Kairi would be like if she hadn’t had to fight and fight and fight? If the war hadn’t gotten to her, gotten to them both?

His heart hurt for the carefree young girl she’d once been. But life wasn’t fair and fate wasn’t kind, and the important thing was all they’d been through together. He loved Kairi more now than he had when they were younger; she was more beautiful to him with each passing day. The price he’d paid to be with her, carved into his heart and written in his own blood, just made her that much more precious to him.

If only he was worthy of her love, too. But maybe this was a good start. Kairi’s heart was full of light, and she had always been kind to those who needed a helping hand. If he could… get his light back with similar acts of kindness, then maybe, just maybe… she could love him again. 

They were getting close to the banquet hall when Lygia stopped.

“Your Majesty?”

“Yeah?”

She fiddled with her handkerchief. “Thank you, for showing me around. It was very kind of you to take time out of your busy day to help me.”

“Of course.” He held his arms out wide and put on an official sounding voice. “Welcome to the castle, and I hope you enjoy your stay.”

Lygia giggled again, and he grinned. Wow, he’d missed this. Maybe, if he tried joking around with Kairi again, she’d laugh, too. 

He really missed her laugh. What would it take to hear her laugh again?

* * *

The hallways in the castle were chilly this time of year, and Kairi wrapped her arms around herself as she turned around the corner. What she saw a little ways away made her stop.

Sora was with a young woman. She was cute—red hair, green eyes, freckles. Pretty winter dress with mink and velvet and a sparkle in her eyes. Lively and expressive and warm. Nice curves, not at all skinny and scrawny. Just Sora’s type.

She giggled, and Sora smiled. Not very big, but it was a real, genuine smile. Something Kairi rarely got to see anymore. Especially not directed towards her.

The feelings that bubbled up inside of her made her sick. Was this why he wouldn’t touch her? Was this why he was ignoring her? No wonder. Here was someone who might actually be able to love him the way she couldn’t anymore. A pretty young woman who could offer her heart with no strings attached, no mission to complete, no pressure to save him.

And she could hardly blame the young lady. Any woman would want him. For his power, for his looks, for his heart. And it wasn’t like Kairi hadn’t encouraged it. After their last fight, she’d flat out told him to find another woman if she couldn’t satisfy him. Kind of jokingly, not really realizing how seeing Sora with another woman would actually make her feel.

He could be happy apart from her. He could smile again. He could… he could get his heart back, without all the pain.

His eyes met hers, and his brow furrowed. “Kairi?” He quickly turned to the young woman and said, “Excuse me, Lygia. I need to speak with my wife.”

But Kairi had already turned around and was retreating the way she came, her eyes blurring with tears. Kings had mistresses. It had happened throughout history and on every world that had a kingdom, practically. But confronting the possibility was something else entirely, and the worst part of it all was how much it hurt. Knowing that she might not be good enough, that she might not be able to give Sora whatever it was he sought.

Maybe Xion was right. Maybe he still loved her. But he needed someone who could love him as he was now. Not someone still in love with the ghost of who he used to be. 

Sora grabbed her hand, and she froze. 

“Kairi, what’s wrong?” he asked, and his voice was so gentle, so full of concern. She did her best to choke back the tears, and he glanced around before pulling her into a nearby cleaning closet. The door shut behind them and he switched on the lights, and when their eyes met again, his face mirrored her pain.

“Beloved, why are you crying?” He reached for her, but she shrank away from him, and he lowered his hand. “Is it something I did?”

“Lygia,” she sniffed, wishing her face wasn’t such a blotchy mess right now. “I saw the two of you together, and—”

His eyes widened. “Kairi, you know I wouldn’t—” He paused and took a deep breath. “She was lost, and I was just helping her. I promise nothing inappropriate was going on.” 

That sounded like him, at least. The next words just tumbled out of her mouth all at once. 

“I just… I saw you two together, and I couldn’t help but think… maybe you’d be happier if… if you could be with someone like her instead of someone like me—”

He shook his head. “You think I’m gonna give up on us so easily? You’re my wife, Kairi. I’m sticking with you ‘even unto death,’ remember?” 

Kairi didn’t say anything to that. What should’ve been a heartwarming reminder of his vow sounded more like a prison sentence for them both.

Her lack of a response made Sora frown. “What makes you think I’d want her over you?” he asked.

“She probably has whatever it is I can’t give you.”

“And what would that be?”

“You tell me,” she responded, a little more harshly than necessary. 

His eyes flashed in a telltale warning sign. “Kairi—”

“Everyone’s talking about us,” she said. “Everyone knows our relationship isn’t doing well. They think you’d be happier with someone else. They think you deserve better.”

“And you believe those gossiping busybodies?” he asked as his eyebrows shot up. “You believe them over me?”

She didn’t respond, and he clenched and unclenched his fists, taking deep breaths. Darkness was starting to waft off of him, and she frowned. It had been a while since she’d seen him get so… agitated. Emotional.

“You have to stop reading those trashy tabloid magazines, Kairi,” he finally said. “They don’t know anything about us.”

“It isn’t just trashy tabloid magazines,” she said as she crossed her arms. “And maybe they’re right. Maybe you would be happier with someone else.”

Sora groaned and rested his face in his hands. “Kairi, I don’t care where you’re hearing this from. It’s wrong, and whoever is saying it just wants to hurt you.” When he looked at her again, it was as if he was the one they had wounded instead. “They don’t care about you,” he said, his voice breaking. “Why would you listen to them over your own husband who—”

“I don’t know!” Kairi snapped. “I don’t know. But when my own husband won’t sleep with me, it’s easy to think he’d rather get it somewhere else!”

“I. am not. getting. _ it. _anywhere else.”

Sora’s teeth were gritted and his hands were now on the wall behind her and his face was just inches from hers. She stared at him, stared at his mouth, stared at his lips, imagined him pushing her against the wall and kissing her with abandon, pressing his body against hers to show her how much he wanted her, needed her, desired her—

“I’m not getting _ it _anywhere at all,” he added, and he sounded desperate, frustrated. Well, Kairi wasn’t surprised. If he was determined to hold to his marriage vows but found he had no desire for her and thus no outlet for his desires, there was a lot of room for frustration there.

Still, she had to clear one thing up. “If what you’re saying is true… then where are all those rumors coming from?”

Sora groaned again. “Kairi, open your eyes! You’re the wife of the most powerful man in the universe right now! Of course those people want to tear you down and make you think I don’t—”

“You don’t _ what, _Sora?! Desire me? Because I already know you don’t!”

His eyes went wide at that. She just stared up at him and tried to fight back a fresh wave of tears. It was out in the open now, finally. The ugly thing that had been eating away at her from the inside for weeks and weeks now.

They were both breathing hard from their argument. His chest was heaving and his lips were parted. What she wouldn’t give to kiss those lips and feel him again. She leaned forward, about to do it, about to kiss him, when she thought of him abandoning her, abandoning her after using her like she was just—

She shut her eyes and leaned back. He didn’t want her, and that was that.

She couldn’t take this anymore. Stumbling over cleaning supplies, she made her ungraceful exit. As the door closed behind her, she almost thought she heard him say something. But it was just too good to be true, and she couldn’t wait around to be hurt any longer.

* * *

Sora sank onto his bed and ran his hand through his hair. 

How could he have been so blind? Kairi wasn’t acting the way she was because she didn’t want him. No, she was acting the way she was because she thought_ he _ didn’t want _ her. _To the point she even thought he’d be happier with some woman he’d just met.

That accusation still stung. Did she really think so little of him, so little of his feelings for her? He didn’t want anyone else. It was her or nothing. It had been for a long time now. Why couldn’t she see that? How could she not see how much he longed for her? Surely it was obvious. Surely it was obvious how much he was struggling to restrain himself.

He stared at the wedding ring on his finger. Thought about how he’d pinned her against the wall earlier today, his face inches from hers. Trapped her there because he couldn’t get a hold of his stupid temper and then because he wanted to steal just a few more moments with her. It was a good thing she had left when she did. Otherwise he would’ve kissed her senseless.

What if he had? He pictured her face now, just inches from his. He hadn’t imagined the way she’d leaned closer, had he? Her eyes had searched his, her lips parted, her chest heaving. Her eyes had fluttered shut and so had his. But when he’d opened them again, she was already running away. 

His hand clutched the sheets. Why had she run from him? Did she really think he didn’t want her after that?

She wasn’t the problem; he was. He couldn’t sleep with her. But she deserved to know the truth. Deserved to know how much he cared. If only she knew the kinds of thoughts he had, the fantasies he indulged in.

His mind slipped into one of them now, spurred on by the aftermath of today’s spat. He pictured them hiding in that closet again. Instead of running away, she stayed with him. Instead of arguing, she’d pulled him aside to spend a few moments alone together during a busy day.

In his fantasies she kissed him the way she didn’t in reality. Wanted him so badly she begged for him. Enjoyed his body so thoroughly they were both exhausted by the time they were through.

It was shameful, what he did. Dirty. He knew how he would feel afterwards because it was always the same. Disgust. Disgust at himself as he cleaned up afterwards. Disgust at what came out of his body. Disgust at his lack of control. 

But his frustration needed an outlet. His desire needed some kind of relief. If he didn’t do this, he would take things out on her again like he did today. And he was too far gone now. His hands moved on their own, unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants and touched himself the way he wanted Kairi to touch him. The way he imagined her touching him.

His brain was taken over by lust as he let out a low moan, and for now, it was strong enough to push his shame to the back of his mind. 

No, Kairi was strong enough. She always had been, and she always would be.

* * *

Kairi’s eyes were drooping and it was all she could do to drag herself to her room. Between today’s fight with Sora and her flight from him, she was emotionally drained. 

She wrapped her arms around herself. Had he spoken the truth? Did he really not want to be with someone else? And was he really feeling as deprived as she was?

Maybe… maybe she’d been too hasty in accusing him. The pain in his eyes, the hurt and frustration… _ had _ she wrongfully accused him?

If she had, then he deserved an apology. Their fight today was at least partly her fault. He was right. Why did she trust a bunch of gossip over what her own husband had to say?

Her husband who didn’t really touch her anymore. Her husband who refused to sleep with her. That was why. It didn’t matter what reasons he had. The end result was that she felt unwanted, undesirable. 

But still, the way she’d run off earlier… that hadn’t been the way to handle things. Her own pain and hurt had just overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t take it anymore. But she should talk to him now that she was calmer, try to get to the bottom of this and apologize if need be. She owed him that much at least.

Her eyes rested on his door. It was cracked open, ever so slightly. She reached out to knock when a soft groan reached her ears.

She froze. What was he doing?

There was a faint shuffling noise, and another low moan reached her ears. 

Oh. Her face burned as she took a step back. She shouldn’t be here, it wasn’t right to listen to him like this—

Then another thought struck her. Was someone else with him? 

Bile rose in her throat at the thought. Her heart pounded and her thoughts raced back to when they’d slept together, the moans and sighs he’d made then, how much they sounded like the ones he was making now. Was another woman the one getting him to make them? Was it Lygia after all?

A heavy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. That had to be it. He didn’t want her or need her. She couldn’t satisfy him. Each one of his soft pants and moans drove that point further home. He _ had _ taken to seeking relief with someone else because she wasn’t enough to—

_ “Kairi.” _

Her heart nearly stopped. Her name, spoken with such love and desire. Her name, cried out in the midst of his pleasure. Never had she heard him say it like that before, and never had she wanted so badly to hear him say it like that again.

And no one corrected him. No woman was with him. There were no sounds except the ones coming from him. Nothing but Kairi’s name moaned from his lips. He said it again, his voice husky with desire for her and her alone as he became more and more enthralled in his pleasure. 

Kairi’s heart sped up and the aching between her legs grew. She couldn’t help it, hearing how turned on he was because of her. Her head felt light and her heartbeat thundered in her ears as her breathing got heavier. She shouldn’t be here and yet she couldn’t tear herself away. Sora wanted her and she wanted him, and they were both under the same spell.

And the last time he said her name, so tenderly and full of affection, not holding himself back, not hiding his feelings whatsoever, giving voice to everything he’d kept buried deep inside, she had to steady herself against the wall, because otherwise she would’ve melted into a puddle on the ground, hearing how much her husband desired her. 

The noises from his room soon settled down after that, but her heart was still racing. 

He wanted her. He wanted her so badly he’d taken to fantasizing about her, including her in his thoughts and dreams if not in the flesh. Imagined her as he’d gotten himself off, maybe even needed her to bring himself over the edge.

Then why… why was he pushing her away? Why wouldn’t he sleep with her again? Couldn’t he see how much she wanted him, too?

Was it his own insecurities? He _ had _turned away from her when he’d realized she hadn’t come. Maybe he felt like a failure as a lover and was afraid of disappointing her again.

But that couldn’t be the full story. No. Sora, if he were fully himself, might feel bad about that… but he wouldn’t let it stop him. He’d practice with her until he got good at making love, not avoid her as much as possible. That was just the sort of person he was.

No, there had to be something more. It had to be the darkness. She’d seen his eyes when they’d made love, how, just for a moment, the real Sora had broken through. How his eyes had turned blue. His darkness didn’t like that. Didn’t want that. Of _ course _it had avoided any situation where that might happen again. Joining her body with his, sharing her light with him, her very heart— 

His darkness knew it wouldn’t be able to hold out against her for long, didn’t it?

She had to make sure it happened again, then. Had to get him to want her so badly he couldn’t take it anymore. Had to hear him say her name like that again as she brought him ultimate pleasure.

Leaning against the door, she whispered his name and said goodnight, ever so softly. She doubted he could even hear it. But she was going to get close enough to him again someday so that he eventually would.

A small smile spread across her face as she walked down the hall to her room, all earlier thoughts of sleep gone. Even their argument didn’t seem so bad, knowing the real reason why he’d avoided her. Sure, she’d still apologize. He deserved it after her ill-founded accusations. But she had the upper hand now. She knew something he didn’t. She was already thinking up a million different ways to seduce him, not to the darkness, but back to the light.

It was only a matter of time before she would get him to crack, she just knew it.

* * *

Sora leaned his head back against the pillow and sighed. 

It wasn’t the same. It just wasn’t the same. It felt good. It brought him the relief he’d craved. But it wasn’t the same. 

He wanted Kairi, and no amount of time spent with his hand and his imagination could substitute for that. For the way she’d looked into his eyes as they had finally become one. For how good it felt to be inside her, moving with her like she was one with him. Then when she’d said his name, how incredible it had felt to finish inside of her instead of in his hand.

He peeled his sweaty body off the bed so he could clean himself up. Took a shower and let the water run over him. Kairi was there with him, giggling as she ran her fingers through his sudsy hair, giving him teasing looks as she moved her hands over his soapy skin. When he tried to touch her, though, she was gone. Just a figment of his imagination.

He turned the faucet off and sighed again. Let the water drip off of him, off of his hair and skin and necklace. 

Maybe… maybe he should give sex with her another try. She wanted it. He wouldn’t get better without practice, wouldn’t learn how to please her without trying. Wouldn’t become the lover she deserved if he never made love to her. Surely it wouldn’t be so bad if he—

He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the faucet, twisted and warped with yellow eyes. 

Yeah, it would be. It would be bad. 

He went to bed feeling lonelier than ever. Craving Kairi. Longing to hold her as he fell asleep. Wanting her in his bed and in his arms.

But not him. Not someone like him. 

He didn’t deserve her.

* * *

Kairi woke up feeling more refreshed than she had in weeks. Last night had lifted her mood considerably, especially after she’d returned to her room and had gotten to indulge in a few fantasies of her own. Sora had certainly given her plenty of new material to work with.

She giggled and blushed at that. When was the last time she’d felt any sort of urge to do that? But hearing Sora had awoken those desires in her once more, knowing he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

There was a light knock at her door. 

“Come in!” she called, and it was Alma and Cornelia. Perfect timing.

“Cornelia!” she said as she bounced off of her bed. “I’ll be needing some new clothes. A lot of new clothes.”

If she was going to seduce her husband, she would have to look the part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora touches himself and Kairi accidentally overhears.
> 
> Thank you for the support/comments/kudos on the last chapter! I've really enjoyed discussing the story with you all. I hope everyone is off to a good start to the new year, and I'll see you next week!


	15. In Sickness and in Health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

“Good morning!”

Sora glanced up from his bacon and eggs and toast to see why Kairi was so—

He dropped his fork. She was leaning over him, a twinkle in her eye, wearing an outfit he’d never seen before. It was laced up tight in the front, and he had to force himself to look at her face and not at the creamy skin spilling out over the top of her blouse.

“Um, good morning?” he choked out. What in the worlds was this all about? Especially after how things had gone yesterday. One day she was doubting his desire for her, and the next she was prancing around in—in _ that? _

She grinned and took her place at the table next to him. He couldn’t help but notice the way her chest bounced up and down as she settled in, the necklace he had given her resting cozily between her boobs.

“Isn’t it a lovely day?” she said as she dug into her food.

He frowned and glanced out the window. It was pouring down rain.

“I guess?”

Her eyes softened as she took a sip of her tea. “Lovely because it’s a new day with new opportunities, I mean.”

“Oh.”

“Sora,” she said as she set her cup down. “I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was completely unacceptable. You were right to call me out on it. I should have trusted you, my husband, over a bunch of gossiping busybodies.”

He almost dropped his fork. She was actually apologizing?

“I… I was jealous and insecure,” she said, her face flushing. “I was jealous and insecure, and I took it out on you instead of trying to talk it through with you.” She searched his eyes for a moment, then bowed her head. “Please, forgive me.”

She really was serious about this. She really was sorry. He put his hand over hers and had to stifle his reaction to their contact. He couldn’t let her know, couldn’t let her see how badly he wanted her. Especially when he could feel the outline of her ring pressed into his skin.

She looked up, her eyes curious, questioning, hopeful.

“Only if you’ll forgive me,” he said at last. “The way I lost my temper at you is unacceptable. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

She studied him for a few moments, then nodded. “Apology accepted.”

There was one more thing he should apologize for, too. For making her feel undesired, unloved, especially when he wanted her so badly he was dying of love for her.

But if he did, she’d realize the only thing keeping them apart was his willpower, and that would not hold out if she decided to seduce him. If she kept wearing outfits like the one she was wearing right now and being chipper and sweet and funny and… and _ Kairi. _

Maybe, if he spoke around it though…

“And Kairi, you have no reason to be jealous,” he finally said. “I made a vow to you, and I take my vows seriously.”

Her smile was sweet, tender. “I know. I’m sorry for doubting you. You’ve been nothing but loyal to me.”

She gave his hand a squeeze, and he hoped she couldn’t see. See how even that was enough to make him desperate for more.

He choked back a whimper as she removed her hand from his. It was just so that she could drink her tea more easily, but it had been so long since they’d regularly touched that it was like this craving inside him, this need that gnawed away at him, this urge to hold her and touch her and—

“Are you feeling okay?” 

She was looking at his hand, which was shaking. Great. But then she rested hers over his again, and he couldn’t stop his sharp intake of breath, even though it was really kinda pathetic how such a simple touch could have such a big effect on him.

She gave him a sad smile as she stroked his fingers. “I have something else to apologize for,” she said softly. “I haven’t touched my husband lately, and he has clearly suffered for it.”

She knew? She could really tell that he—

She leaned closer, and his breath caught in his throat. Her perfume hit his nose, and it was his favorite brand, lavender and vanilla. Combined with her natural scent, he was practically reeling.

“He has suffered, hasn’t he?” she murmured, her chest nearly spilling out of her top as she continued to stroke his hand with that same gentle concerned look on her face.

“He has.” And was still suffering now.

She leaned back and gave his hand another squeeze. “Then I’ll do my best to make sure he doesn’t anymore.”

How could he tell her that just being around her like this was torment, knowing he couldn’t act on his desires?

Throughout breakfast, though, she made it a point to touch him. Light little touches on his hand, his arm. Support touches meant to cheer him up. And her cheerful attitude didn’t waver even once. Not when Priscilla forgot her toast, not when her shirt slipped down and revealed a lacy pink bra strap, not when Marcus accidentally spilled water on her.

Her bra was pink and black. Sora could see it because her blouse was white and sticking to her skin. He could see the outlines of her body, too, begging to be kissed, begging to be touched, begging to be adored.

“No worries,” she said as she reassured Marcus for the fifth time it was alright. “I was gonna change eventually anyway, we have an important meeting later today.” She excused herself and cast one last glance back at Sora as she waltzed out of the room. “Meet you in the throne room?”

Sora nodded, and with that she took off as he stared after her. 

It was a good thing she was changing. No way the miniskirt she was wearing right now would’ve flown for a diplomatic meeting.

Was this… was this on purpose? Her apology. Her clothes. The water spilling incident. Her change in attitude. Her decision to start touching him again when for weeks she hadn’t touched him at all.

What had happened since their argument yesterday that would’ve prompted her to—

He froze. Oh no. She couldn’t have. She _ couldn’t _have.

But it made sense. It made too much sense. How his door had been cracked open this morning when normally it would be completely shut. How her attitude and manner had done a complete 180 overnight. How she was touching him with confidence, dressing in a way that was designed to catch his eye. 

And most telling of all, how she knew how badly he was suffering, knew how much he craved her touch. 

His face went straight to red as he groaned and buried his face in his hands. Last night had been especially bad, with all the times he’d said her name. How much of that had she heard?

The urge to cancel all his meetings today and crawl into a hole somewhere so he could die of embarrassment was overwhelming, but he fought it. He couldn’t let on that he knew that she knew. Best for her to think she was being sneaky in trying to seduce him.

And… even if he couldn’t sleep with her… a few touches here and there couldn’t hurt, right?

Right?

He chuckled at that. If only. Kairi had never been one to fight fair.

He was completely and utterly screwed.

* * *

Kairi was figuring out the next phase of her plan when something happened that no amount of careful planning could account for: Sora got sick. She found him slumped in his chair when she arrived in the dining room for dinner that night, his eyes unfocused, hazy, his skin flushed.

“Sora, what’s wrong?”

He lifted his watery eyes to look up at her. “It’s nothing, I’m just—”

He launched into a huge coughing fit, and she whacked him on the back with one hand and offered him her glass of water with the other. A quick check revealed his forehead was burning up and his skin was covered in sweat.

“This is clearly not nothing,” she muttered as she brushed sweaty strands of hair out of his face. “Marcus?”

Marcus popped out of the kitchen with their dinner in tow. “Yes, Ma’am?”

“Would you mind helping His Majesty get to his bedroom? I don’t think he’s feeling well.”

“Of course.” Their dinner all but abandoned, Marcus put his arm around Sora and helped him up. And Kairi was right to ask for help; he stumbled a little even with Marcus’s support.

“Sora, I’m gonna get Dr. Valens. He’ll be able to help.”

Sora murmured something that sounded like an “okay” as Kairi took off to find the court physician. She found him easily enough in his quarters, and it wasn’t long before they were both at Sora’s door.

“Oh, you go ahead,” Kairi said after clearing her throat. “He… doesn’t like it when I go in his room.”

Dr. Valens gave her a curious look as he readjusted his glasses. “If you say so. But as his wife you do get to know certain things about his health.”

“You can tell me later. I think I’ll go finish my dinner for now. I’d… hate to let all that good food go to waste.”

Dr. Valens’s eyes softened. “Whatever you think is best. I’ll let you know how he’s doin’ when I’m through.”

Dinner was lonely without Sora, to the point where Kairi insisted Marcus and Priscilla eat at the table with her. They hesitated for a moment, but before long the three of them chatted away as they ate their meals like they used to when Kairi still worked with them, and soon the topic of relationships came up.

“Come on now, Marcus, surely there’s someone special who’s caught your eye?” Priscilla said with a twinkle in hers as she lifted her veggies to her mouth.

Marcus took a sip of his water. “Well, actually, there is this one girl. She’s pretty new here, but she was really nice and talked to me, even though I’m just a servant, and—” 

His face flushed, and Kairi couldn’t help but grin. She figured she knew who it was.

“Was her name Lygia?”

“Yeah, actually. Do you know her?”

“Somewhat. Let’s just say… I probably didn’t make the best impression on her.”

Kairi sighed at the reminder of yesterday’s argument and how bewildered poor Lygia must have been. Marcus’s face fell, and she decided then and there that she had to figure out a way to apologize to Lygia for her strange behavior.

“But that was all on me,” she was quick to add. “She seems very kind and sweet. I’m sure she’s a lovely person.”

Marcus cheered up at that. “Yeah. I hope I can talk to her again soon.” His eyes got this dreamy faraway look in them, and Priscilla and Kairi exchanged knowing looks. 

“What?” Marcus said, his voice a tad defensive.

“The boy’s in love,” Priscilla said sagely to Kairi.

“Mmmm-hmmm. That’s how Sora always used to—” She trailed off and frowned.

“What do you mean, used to?” Priscilla asked. “He still looks at you like that.”

Kairi fiddled with the napkin in her lap, carefully avoiding Priscilla’s eyes. “You really think so?”

“Goodness, yes. You should see the way he looks at you when he thinks you aren’t paying attention. The only way I know how to describe that look is longing.”

“O-oh.”

Thankfully, the conversation turned to other things after that. And when dinner was through, Dr. Valens was waiting for her in the hall.

“He has a cough and a cold, along with a low grade fever,” he said. “Now, I’ve given him some cough syrup to help with his cough, as well as some medicine for the fever and cough drops for his throat…”

Kairi listened carefully as he instructed her how to administer the various medicines, in case Sora forgot how in his sick state. 

“Now, I know what you said earlier,” Dr. Valens said as he got to the end of his instructions, “but I thought you oughta know… His Majesty asked for you before I left. Rule or not, I think the best medicine for him right now is his wife at his side.”

Kairi nodded. Being sick was always lonely, and nothing cheered her up more than having her friends and family nearby. Sora probably felt the same.

She stopped by her room to change into something a little more comfortable than her current dress. In the end she put on a pair of her comfiest pajamas, pink with blue stripes and fuzzy slippers, then went to Sora’s room.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. “Sora?”

There was no response at first, and she was about to go back to her room when the door opened and Sora threw his arms around her. She had to stagger backwards a little to catch his weight, and he was still swaying as it was.

“Kairi, _ Kairi, _ you’re really here!”

“Yes, I’m… here,” she said, patting his back. This was the closest they’d been since the night he’d returned from his trip, and she wasn’t really sure what to make of it.

“Kairi, I’m so glad you’re here, I’m just so glad you’re here,” he drawled.

She leaned back a little, and the look he gave her was unfocused. Confused. Even less lucid than he’d been before. 

“Sora… what medicine did you take, exactly?” she asked as she touched the back of her hand to his forehead again. He was still burning up, and she frowned.

He scratched his cheek and shrugged. “Dunno. Just the stuff in the bottle.”

He hiccuped and giggled, and Kairi raised an eyebrow. “How much of it?”

“Hmmmm, let’s see.” He made a big show of crossing his arms and sticking his lower lip out as he did the mental math. “Maybe half?” he said at last.

Kairi wanted to groan. She strode past him and grabbed the medicine off the nightstand, swearing when she saw what was in it.

“Sora, this stuff’s 25% alcohol.”

He hiccuped and giggled again. “Oh. That makes a lotta sense, actually. I’ve—_hic_—always kinda been a lightweight.”

“You’re telling me,” she muttered as she set the bottle back down and walked back to the door. “I’d better go check with Dr. Valens and make sure you didn’t just poison yourself.”

“No no no no no, don’t leave, please don’t leave!” he cried, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Kairi, don’t leave…”

She looked up into his eyes, and there was genuine fear and pain in them. Accidentally drunk or not, whatever he was feeling was real enough.

“It won’t be for long,” she told him. “I just want to make sure you’ll be okay. I’ll be right back.”

“You promise?” he said, sounding very much like a lost, broken child.

She nodded. “I promise.”

He relaxed and let go. “It’s a promise. I’ll always come back to you, Kairi.”

She stared at him. Forget the fact that Sora wasn’t even really coherent right now, he was acting more Sora-like than he had in ages. Right now they weren’t king and queen, they were back to their younger selves, just two scared teenagers trying to convince each other their separation was only temporary. Two scared teenagers fighting fate to be together.

“I know you will,” she said at last, then ducked out of the room.

Thankfully, the medicine he’d drunk so much of wouldn’t have any negative effects other than his current drunken stupor. That was a relief. Cough medicines from back home were not the sort you wanted to drink half a bottle of. Still, what had been going through that spiky head of his? Did he think that drinking this one all at once would speed up his recovery?

Probably.

Kairi returned to his room, and he was sprawled out on the bed. 

“Kairi!” he cried when he saw her, his entire face lighting up. “What took you so long? I waited _ ages _to see you again! I had to fight so many Heartless and Nobodies and Unversed, and then I was in this game where I had to fight my way out of it to come home to you—”

“Sora, that was years ago,” she said softly. 

He frowned and glanced at his hand. “It was?”

“Yes. You’re king now. We’re married.”

He broke into a smile at that. “We are?”

“Last time I checked, yes.”

He flopped back on the pillows and sighed. “We can kiss any time we want now, then.”

Funny, how that wasn’t really true.

His eyes found hers. “Can I kiss you?”

She bit her lip. She wanted to say yes. But not like this. Not when he was drunk. 

“You’re sick right now,” she gently reminded him. “Kissing will have to wait till later, okay?”

He pouted at this. “But I wanna kiss you _ now, _Kairi.”

“We’ll see how you feel about that in the morning,” she muttered. She already knew what the answer would be.

He just pouted some more. “We’re married but we can’t even kiss? Why’d we even get married then?”

“You’re telling me,” she said with a sigh. 

He considered this for a few moments, then rolled over onto his stomach. “Hot, it’s so hot…” he moaned.

She sighed and sat on the bed. “Here, let me help.”

He rolled over again and started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, to no avail. She intervened and made quick work of them, and before long she was helping him peel the sweaty shirt off.

When it was in a pile on the floor, she couldn’t help but look at him. She hadn’t seen his body like this in weeks. Sick or not, he was still beautiful. He’d kept himself in good shape, too.

He rested his head on her lap and looked up into her eyes. “Kairi, your eyes are really pretty.”

“Y-you really think so?” she asked as she ran her fingers through his hair.

“Uh-huh. They’re like… the sky at sunset, right before all the light’s gone. Mine are like the sky at midday.” He frowned. “No, wait. Not anymore. They’re yellow now.” He looked to her again. “Why are they yellow?”

“I don’t know,” she said sadly. Telling him what she knew of the truth just hurt too much when he was in this state.

He reached up and touched her face. “Then… I must have darkness in me. Lots and lots of darkness.” His hand shrank back and his eyes went wide. “I can feel it. It’s all there inside my heart.” He winced and clutched his chest. “It _ hurts, _ Kairi, it _ hurts— _”

“I know,” she said, running her hands through his hair. “I know. I’m trying to use my light to help you—”

He jerked away from her. “NO! You stay away from me. A Princess of Heart like you—no business being around someone with darkness like me.”

“A little too late for that,” she muttered. “If being around you was gonna hurt me, it would’ve happened already, trust me.”

He looked at her again in his drunken, feverish state, face twisted into a frown like he was trying very hard to think. “This is a dream, isn’t it?” he said at last. “I’ve hurt the real Kairi too much for her to be able to say that.” He leaned back and sighed. “Good to see you again, Dream Kairi.”

“Dream Kairi? Sora, wha—”

_ Oh. _She clamped her hand over her mouth. Best to just play along for now.

“Good to see you again too, Sora,” she said, keeping her voice airy and dreamlike.

He smiled. “Dream Kairi, I sure missed you.” He held his arms open wide, and Kairi hesitated. Should she? Or should she say no?

A wounded look crossed his features, and she sighed. Oh, fine. It was just a hug. Surely that would be okay. And… she really did want to be held by him…

She snuggled into his arms, and he wrapped himself around her and buried his face in her neck. His skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, and she wondered if she should check his temperature again.

“Kairi, this feels so good,” he said as he nuzzled her neck. “I miss you so much—”

Her grip around him tightened. “I miss you too.”

He pulled back to look at her and ran his shaking hand through her hair. “I love you so much, okay? I just love you so, so much.” He brought her back into his arms and held her tight. “I want you to know that, even though I never say it to your face.”

A lump was building in her throat. “Why don’t you?”

“I can’t. I can’t and it’s KILLING me, Kairi. It’s killing me. I want you so bad but I can’t say anything about it, I can’t _ do _anything about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because the darkness doesn’t WANT me to. And Kairi doesn’t either. I disappointed her. She barely had to do anything before I came, and I couldn’t even start to make her feel good. She deserves to feel good, you know? She deserves it so much more than me.”

The lump in Kairi’s throat got bigger. So that was why he’d run from her. Not because of anything she’d done, but because of his own insecurities.

“Sora, I think Kairi does still want you. She enjoys your body as much as you enjoy hers.”

Sora pulled away again to shake his head. “No she doesn’t. Have you seen her?” He used his hands to drunkenly draw her body in the air. “She’s divine. An angel. Pure and uncorrupted. But I’m darkness. I taint her. Being married to me is tainting her enough, but touching me? Sleeping with me? Unacceptable. All I can do is fill her with the darkness inside me. Corrupt her with the poison from my body.”

Kairi tried her best to digest this. He thought his body was poison? No wonder he wouldn’t sleep with her again. All of this made so much _ sense. _How come she hadn’t realized it earlier?

He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. “If I really was a good man, I’d let her go. Let her be happy. But I can’t get enough of her touch and I want her so bad. I want her so bad but all I have to offer is this.” 

He gestured to his body with a look of pure disgust on his face.

“No wonder she doesn’t want me. I wouldn’t want me. I’m disgusting.”

Kairi couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. Hearing about her husband’s insecurities about his own body and whatever had happened to his heart was enough to make them well up and spill onto her cheeks. Who had told him he was disgusting? How could he think he was so unworthy of love?

He frowned and brought his hand to her face, brushing her tears away with his fingers. “Don’t cry,” he said softly. “It’s bad enough that I make the real Kairi sad. I don’t want to make you sad, too.”

That just made her cry harder. He was so broken and yet still so sweet to her. So kind and gentle even in the midst of his own pain.

“You’re wrong about one thing,” she said and sniffed. “You aren’t disgusting. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.”

He stilled at that. “You really think… I’m beautiful?” he asked in a way that told her her answer would either build him up or utterly destroy him.

She nodded and wiped her eyes. “Your heart’s the most beautiful heart I’ve ever met. And your body’s beautiful, too. Your soul is kind and I can’t get enough of you. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever known.”

He smiled and bumped his forehead against hers. “Thank you, Kairi. That’s the nicest thing anybody’s said to me in a long time.”

His breathing was even against her skin, and she could smell the scent of the cough syrup lingering on his breath. It would be easy to lean forward just a little bit more and kiss him. Bring her lips to his and show him how she really felt about him. He wanted her to, and she wanted to. But it wouldn’t be right. Not when he wasn’t in his right mind.

So she sat up and made a big show of fluffing his pillow and rolling him onto his back. “Okay, my king, you’re still sick, and you should get some rest.”

“Kairi, don’t go,” he pleaded.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she promised with a quick squeeze of his hand. 

He relaxed. “I wish the real Kairi would stay with me like this, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want to hold her in my arms as we fall asleep, and wake up with her lying next to me every morning.”

“I’m sure she would. You just have to ask. She’s just… afraid of you pushing her away.”

“I’d never push her away!” Sora cried. “I love her so much… I want her so bad…” He looked at her, and his eyes were wild, unfocused. “I didn’t want to push her away... I had to, I had to to keep her safe...”

She grabbed a towel off the nightstand and added a little water magic and blizzard magic to it to make a cold compress. “Would you need me… ‘Dream Kairi,’ that is, if you knew she’d be safest with you?” she asked as she laid it across his forehead.

He shook his head. “I only talk to you because I’m so desperate for her. If I knew she’d be safest with me… I’d make love to her every night. I’d show her how much I love her every day. I’d hold her in my arms and never, ever let go.” He sighed. “For as long as she’d have me, anyway. I know I don’t deserve her anymore.”

It was all Kairi could do not to fling herself into his arms and tell him she’d have him for the rest of her life. This Sora felt realer than the Sora she’d married, the Sora she ruled with. This Sora felt like… like Sora.

Sad that it had taken him getting both sick and plastered for that to come through.

“You should do all of that anyway,” she said sadly. “Kairi wants you too, you know. I don’t think she cares very much for what you think you deserve or not. She just wants you. You think she’s some perfect angel, but she’s not. She’s human and she misses her husband. She misses her friend. She misses you.”

“Pffft, yeah right. I wish. Thanks for pretending, but I know better. You’re just a figment of my imagination. I created you to fulfill my deepest desires.”

“Maybe what this… this Dream Kairi wants, and what you want, and what the real Kairi wants… maybe it’s all the same thing.”

He just gave her a puzzled look as she used one of the other towels to pat his chest down. He was covered in a cold sweat now, and she had to make sure he stayed dry and comfortable.

“You know, you sure say some funny things, Dream Kairi. It’s almost like stuff the real Kairi would say. I dunno, I just never thought my imagination was this good…” He sighed again. “But then again, you’re saying a bunch of stuff that’s too good to be true. Has to be my imagination.” He chuckled. “I must be really desperate if my Dream Kairi gets this close to the real Kairi. All that’s missing is her smacking me over the head with a pillow.”

“You’re sick, I can’t do that.”

He grinned. “Thank goodness, you _ are _Dream Kairi. The real Kairi would’ve smacked me by now.”

Kairi winced. Was that really what he thought of her? That she’d go smacking him around if—

Well, she had kinda done that. Didn’t really anymore, but in the past, yes. 

Well, she’d have to make it up to him. Take care of him. She tucked one of the sheets up around him to make sure he didn’t get cold because his comforter was too thick to do the job.

“Imagine if the real Kairi heard all this stuff,” he said. “She can’t know any of this.”

Kairi gave him a wry smile. A little too late for that. “And why not?”

“She’d laugh at how silly I am! Or—or she’d do everything she could to make me feel better. I can’t let her do that. I can’t taint her.”

Kairi sighed. "What makes you think you'd taint her? Maybe she isn't some perfect angel like you think she is."

This whole “Kairi is perfect” business had to stop. Why couldn’t Sora see she was just as flawed, just as human as him?

"Have you seen her though?” he said, his eyes and voice full of wonder. “She’s kind and caring. She always helps other people, even people like me. And her body's divine. She feels so _ good. _ When she let me make love to her, I felt like I was in heaven. She's got this heart of pure light that just—"

"She's not perfect!” Kairi snapped. “She's human. Just like you. No better or worse than anybody else."

He rested his head back on the pillow. "Maybe you're right. But she's Kairi. And to me, that alone makes her perfect."

"Then maybe... maybe to her, you're perfect, too."

He laughed at that, a hollow laugh, a very un-Sora-like laugh. “I doubt it. Nothing about me is perfect. More like the opposite.”

"Why do you say that?" Kairi asked, feeling like crashing on the bed herself at this point.

"Look at me,” he said as he pointed at his face. “Look at my eyes. Kairi fell in love with blue eyes. That's what she deserves. That and so much more. Not golden eyes. Not a man with eyes like the man who murdered her. Because every time I look in the mirror, that’s all I can see. Her murderer.”

Kairi’s stomach dropped. He really… saw himself that way?

"Maybe… maybe outward appearances don’t matter so much,” she said. “Maybe she still sees your true heart, deep down."

He rested his hand over his eyes. "My true heart's tainted with darkness. Ever since I—" He paused. "I shouldn't tell you, Dream Kairi. That's knowledge no Kairi should ever have."

Before she could ask what he meant by that, he snuggled into his pillow and started muttering to himself.

"She can't know. She can’t. If she knew what happened, if she knew what the darkness did to me, she’d—”

Kairi’s heart stopped. “What did it do to you?”

“I can’t tell you.” Tears welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks and soaked the pillow. “I’d lose her if I told you. I can’t lose her. Not again. Not again.”

“S-Sora?”

He looked into her eyes as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me. I know my heart’s broken. I know I’m a monster. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I had to do it, I _ had _ to—”

“What did you have to do? Sora? _ Sora?” _

But he wasn’t responding to her voice anymore. His eyes were far away and his face was streaked with tears and he kept mumbling about how he had to do it, he just had to, he was sorry for what he did but there was no other way—

So she just wrapped him up in his sheet and stroked his head till he calmed down and fell asleep, having exhausted himself completely by this point. 

Now that he was asleep, she went to go get him the things he might need if he woke up throughout the night. A glass of water, more medicine, fresh towels, that sort of thing. This was the first time she’d been in his room, and while the furniture was a lot grander than what he’d had back home, he was still a creature of habit, and he didn’t really have a whole lot of stuff besides his clothes. She was able to figure out where everything was fairly easily as a result. Once she had, she switched on the lamp by his bed and turned off the light, then dragged the chair by his desk over to begin her long vigil.

She’d promised him, and she wasn’t about to go back on that promise. Even if his words troubled her. Even though the haunted look in his eyes was haunting her now, too.

“Sora, what did you do?” she said as she watched him sleep. Even in sleep he looked troubled. He was frowning, whether from the fever or his illness or his heart being in such a state of turmoil, she wasn’t sure. 

“Maybe the better question is, how can I help you? I’m doing everything I can, but maybe it’s not enough. Maybe I need… something else.”

There was a good chance the black box was hidden somewhere in this very room. That would explain why Sora was so touchy about her being in here usually. Which was why it was so strange that he’d allowed her here in the first place. Clearly, he’d locked something inside the box he didn’t want her to find, and if she really wanted to, she could probably locate it. Doubtful he could stop her in his current state, too. 

“Kairi...” he murmured, and she knew why he’d let her in here, even with the black box probably being in here, too.

He was lonely. Normally, it was something he could shrug off, or if not shrug off, at least bear, but… nothing like sickness to make him feel even more vulnerable and alone than usual.

“I’m here,” she said, finding his hand and squeezing it. 

“I’m thirsty,” he croaked, his eyes fluttering open. “I’m so thirsty.”

She propped the pillows up behind him, then reached for the glass of water on his bedside table. He watched her every move as she lifted the cup to his lips and held it there as he drank, murmuring tender things as she swept his sweaty hair out of his eyes.

When he was through, she set the water down and grabbed one of the towels so she could blot his forehead down. He just closed his eyes and sighed.

He fell back asleep again, a fitful sleep marked by feverish murmurings. And then a nasty coughing fit woke him up again, probably because the medicine had started to wear off. Kairi held him as he coughed and coughed and coughed, and when it was over, he was trembling, exhausted, aching all over. She hesitated to give him more cough syrup, considering how much he’d downed earlier, but she slipped him a cough drop and gave him some more water.

When she’d readjusted the pillows so he could rest again, he looked into her eyes with the most clarity he’d had all night.

“Kairi, why are you doing this for me?” he asked, his voice weak and scratchy.

“I told you, didn’t I?” she said as she smoothed his bangs back from his forehead. “In sickness _ and _ in health. I’m your wife, and I vowed to take care of you.”

He caught her hand with his own, shaking though it was, and brought it to his lips. He brushed them against her skin, feather light, then looked into her eyes.

_ “Thank you.” _

She gave him a sad smile, and he brought her hand to his face and cupped his cheek with it, melting into her touch as she stroked his skin with her thumb.

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, and she was grateful that for tonight, at least, she was able to show him affection and he was willing to accept it.

If only that would last. But she knew better than to expect that. So she would enjoy these few stolen moments with him, for however long they lasted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora accidentally gets drunk. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Writing it was really interesting, because I got to explore different sides to both Sora and Kairi throughout. Thank you for the comments and kudos, and I'll see you next week!


	16. Heart of my Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Sora woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and a sore throat, but without the fever-induced haze he’d fallen into last night. Sleep had done him some good.

There was a glass of water on his bedside table, and he grabbed it and drank the whole thing. The cool water soothed his hurting throat. Whoever had left it there for him was really thoughtful. He’d have to thank them later. No way he’d had the presence of mind last night to leave it there himself.

The medicine Dr. Valens had given him last night was all still there, too. He grabbed the bottle of cough syrup and nearly dropped it. It was a lot lighter than he had expected. 

“Oh yeah… I think I—”

He clutched his head and groaned. He remembered now. In his feverish stupor, he’d thought that taking more of the medicine would mean he’d get better faster. 

“What was I thinking?” he said with another groan as he read the ingredients and dosage information. “I must’ve gotten wasted. Absolutely wasted. I didn’t eat dinner and I chugged half a bottle of cough syrup chock full of alcohol. No wonder my head hurts so much.”

Unfortunately, his memory after drinking half the bottle was… gone, pretty much. He could recall these weird, hazy dreams about… Kairi? But those were just of the Kairi he’d dreamed about before, what he called the Dream Kairi. Not the real Kairi.

Great. He was fantasizing about her again. Couldn’t even remember the fantasies, either, that was how wasted he’d been.

He did… remember telling Dr. Valens he wanted to see her. The real Kairi. But then he’d drunk the cough syrup and couldn’t really remember what had happened after that.

No, wait. At one point. A dream. He’d dreamed Kairi had lifted that same water glass to his lips and had held it for him as he drank, dreamed she’d stroked his hair and touched him and said gentle things to him to make him feel better.

Was that really a dream? Or was it real?

He dragged himself out of bed and noticed his shirt from yesterday was carefully draped over his desk chair. Huh. He never did that. Just sort of threw his clothes in the hamper or on the ground immediately after he’d worn them.

Speaking of which… he still wasn’t wearing a shirt. He didn’t usually sleep with one, but he didn’t remember taking it off yesterday. Who had taken it off for him?

Too tired to go rummaging through his closet for clean clothes, too lazy to take a shower, too sick to really care, he yanked the shirt off the chair and buttoned it up. He had to know. He had to find out.

When he got to Kairi’s room, though, Alma had just closed the door behind her and held her finger to her lips when Sora tried to speak.

“Shhhh, Your Majesty,” she whispered, “the queen’s fast asleep.”

“She is? Is she feeling well?”

“She looked very tired.”

Sora sighed. Well, he had his answer. The question was… what did he say in his drunken feverish state? What did he do? What did _ she _say and do? His memory was fuzzy. One of the few moments that was anywhere near clear was when he’d looked at her, sitting there in the moonlight by his bed… helping him drink… he’d kissed her hand, and—

“Alma, would you mind canceling all of her engagements for today?” he asked. “Just let her sleep. She needs her rest.”

“So do you, if you don’t mind me saying so, Your Majesty. You still look sick.”

“I am still sick. But I’m a lot less sick than I would’ve been without her care.”

Alma lifted her hand to her mouth. “You weren’t supposed to find out.”

Sora raised his eyebrow. “Find out what? That she stayed up all night taking care of me? Because I remember. Not much, but… enough. I remember her sitting by the bed and keeping watch over me as I slept. Why didn’t she want me to know?”

“She said… she said you’d be upset to hear about it.”

He frowned. “Why? Did I say something weird? Do something weird?”

Probably. If he was drunk, who knows what stupid things must’ve come out of his mouth. He was the type of person that really enjoyed hugging and talking to anyone who would listen about deeply personal stuff when he was drinking, so there was no telling what he’d blathered to Kairi about. Hopefully nothing bad.

“She didn’t say,” Alma said. “She said it was between you and her, and most likely just her. She didn’t think you’d remember much of it come morning. Sounds like she was right.”

“Alright, thank you, Alma. If you don’t mind telling everyone else… I think I should cancel my meetings for today, too.”

“Of course. Get well soon, Your Majesty.”

“And… if you go by the kitchen, could you ask Priscilla to make me something to eat? Just something to be delivered to my room. Nothing fancy.”

“Of course.”

He thanked her and stumbled back to his room so he could flop back onto his bed. He could still picture Kairi’s face last night as she cupped his cheek with her hand and tenderly caressed his face.

If only… if only they could be like that always.

* * *

Kairi woke up feeling thoroughly disoriented. The sunlight was pouring out of her window, and yet she felt really groggy. What was going on?

She checked her clock, and it was the afternoon. Oh yeah. She’d passed out after coming back from Sora’s room this morning, figuring he was gonna wake up soon and not wanting to be around for that. He would be absolutely mortified if he remembered some of the things he’d said and done. Best to spare his dignity.

Her stomach growled, so she showered and put on another one of the new dresses Cornelia had made for her. This one was light purple and hugged her figure nicely with lots of light, fluttering material.

She thought about Sora saying her body was divine and couldn’t help but smile a little. Yes, he’d been drunk when he’d said it… and the way he seemed to idolize her was a little concerning, to say the least… but the compliment had been nice to hear, all the same.

Or maybe she was just that desperate for affirmation.

As she closed the door behind her, she briefly considered going to see how Sora was doing before thinking better of it. He should be sleeping right now, and if he wasn’t, talking to her wasn’t really a good idea. Best to just leave him be.

Before she made it very far, though, she heard his voice. 

“Kairi,” he said, sounding a little weak and tired but very much aware of what was going on. Not at all like he’d been the night before. 

She turned to face him. “Yes?” He was still wearing the same thing he’d worn last night, only his shirt was back on and the buttons were crooked and his hair was even more of a mess than usual.

“You… looked after me last night. Thank you.”

So he did remember. At least some of it. How much, who could say. But he didn’t look horribly embarrassed, so maybe his memory had been kind to him.

“Of course,” she replied. “I told you, remember? In sickness _ and _ in health.”

A smile ghosted across his lips. “Yeah.” He hesitated, then found her hand and brought it to his face, carefully watching her reaction as he did.

O-oh. So he remembered that, too. And not only remembered, but was willing to reenact it.

“Heart of my heart…” he began.

She stroked his cheek, and he _ melted_. Leaned into her touch and sighed deeply. Sought her affection and accepted it when he was in full control of his mind.

Her heart pounded as she continued their vows. “Flesh of my flesh…”

“I promise to love and cherish you, even unto death,” he finished, then kissed her hand.

“Flesh of my flesh,” she repeated. “Sora, we’re one flesh now. It’s in our vows, and it became a reality the night you gave yourself to me.”

He was silent, so she continued. She had to ask. She had to.

“Last night… you told me you wanted me. You probably don’t remember, but you did. So why… why won’t you sleep with me? You know I want you too, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he said, his voice so low she had to strain to hear it.

“Then why—”

“Keeping you safe… even if it’s from me… that’s my number one priority. It always has been, and it always will be.” He paused and held his hand out, his ring visible as he touched hers. “I told you, remember? Even unto death. Even if it costs me. Even if it kills me. I will keep you safe.” 

“And if I’m safest in your arms?”

“You won’t be safe in my arms as long as I’m like this,” he said at last. “I’ll be your husband and your guardian, Kairi, but I can’t be your lover. If… if you find that unacceptable, then you’re free to—”

She shook her head. “No. I made a vow to you, and I intend to keep it.”

It was Sora or nothing, and she wanted Sora. He looked almost relieved at her words, like he thought she might consider abandoning him, and that just made her heart even heavier than it already was. Especially after how panicked he’d been over her leaving last night.

“Get some rest,” she said as she squeezed his hand. “You’re still recovering. And… I know you made a vow to me, Sora, but no more dying for my sake, okay? You can’t… you can’t keep me safe if you’re dead.”

He searched her eyes one last time, then nodded. “But if it comes to that, your life over mine.”

“If it comes to that, we’ll find a way to live. Together.”

As she watched his retreating figure, she couldn’t help but sigh. Two steps forward and one step back. And then another step forward, and a half a step back. Maybe a tiny shuffle forward after that.

But she would take what she could get. Beggars really couldn’t be choosers. And his words still didn’t change the fact that he wanted her and he wanted her badly. And why shouldn’t he? They were married, and she wanted him, too. If she could get his mind to align with his heart and body, then they could share the closeness they both craved so much, the intimacy they were both desperate for. The connection that was supposed to be a part of their marriage.

Time to get his mind to align with his heart and body, then. It was back to seducing him.

* * *

Sora’s cold lingered on for a few days, and then Kairi caught that same cold from taking care of him. The rest of February went by before they were both finally well again. Winter was on its last legs now that it was March, which meant spending time outside without being bundled in several layers of clothing was bearable again. 

On one such day, Kairi suggested they practice sparring. It had been too long, she said, and even though she met with her own fighting instructor on the regular, it would be good to practice with each other every now and then. Especially now that they both needed to build their strength back up after being sick.

Sora agreed, and of course she showed up to the sparring field wearing a miniskirt, skintight leggings, and a form-fitting tank top and jacket. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, too, a style she _ knew _he really liked on her.

Great. His decision to wear loose sweatpants today was definitely a mistake. He didn’t know what all he’d said to her the night she’d taken care of him, other than that he wanted her, but her efforts to bed him were more blatant than ever now that they’d both fully recovered. Even after he’d told her he couldn’t sleep with her, she was still determined to get him to crack.

And he wanted to crack. He wanted to crack and she wanted him to crack and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this. 

She summoned her Keyblade as she faced off against him, a devious grin on her face and a twinkle in her eye. “You’re going down, Your Majesty.”

“Oh am I now?” he said, likewise summoning his Keyblade. It was looking better now than when he’d first come to this realm, but it still had chunks and pieces missing. But that wasn’t what really caught his eye. Kairi did, same as always. Even with how distracting her outfit was, though, he wasn’t about to lose to her that easily.

She was the first to charge, an attack he parried easily. He followed it up with blizzard magic which, of course, had some darkness in it, but she canceled it all out with fire magic. Probably best to avoid magic, he didn’t want to risk hurting her. So he slid behind her and nearly caught her by surprise before she whirled around at the last second and guarded against him.

It soon became clear that she did not intend to actually win this fight. She just kept dancing around the field, attacking to get him to retaliate, guarding from his blows, but not actually trying to land any decisive ones herself.

He was getting hot and sweaty from the exertion, and so was she. Her jacket came off and so did his, leaving them both in their tank tops. Her eyes roamed over him, resting on his arms and chest, clearly pleased that he was wearing fewer clothes now than he had before.

She had planned this, hadn’t she? He was more determined than ever to win. 

He pulled out more moves, ones he hadn’t used a whole lot on her before. And it was working; she was getting tired. He could tell by the sweat in her hair, the flush to her skin, the heaviness of her breathing. 

It wouldn’t be long before—

“Surprise hug!” she cried as she threw her Keyblade to the side and launched herself at him. He panicked and dropped his Keyblade so he could catch her, but they both still went crashing to the ground, his body cushioning her fall.

The spring grass poked his back, and Kairi’s weight rested on top of him. He groaned, not just from the impact, but from that. From feeling her on top of him, their bodies touching like he’d longed for them to. 

“S-sorry,” she said with an apologetic look on her face when he’d blinked his eyes open. “I thought you’d be able to catch me in time.”

“I did catch you.”

She smiled softly. “You did.” She lifted herself up and briefly brushed against him, and he had to choke back a moan.

If she noticed she didn’t say, just offered him a hand up. He took it and pulled himself up with her help.

“Feeling okay?”

“A little stiff, but I’ll be good.”

He didn’t let go of her hand, and she glanced down at it. Hold on, what was he doing? He couldn’t—

He let go and cleared his throat. “Let’s call it a draw.”

Her face fell, and she ducked her head. “Okay.”

He excused himself and retreated to his room. Kairi was determined to get him to snap. Determined to get him to want her so badly he’d make the first move. 

Because they both knew, if she’d leaned forward and kissed him when she was on top of him, he would’ve kissed her back. Pulled her into his arms and brought their bodies even closer together as he kissed her the way he’d dreamed of kissing her.

But then he could say she had initiated, she had wanted it. That he had been seduced into doing it. And she didn’t want that for whatever reason. She wanted him to make the first move. 

That would be his only saving grace in all of this. If he could stay in control of himself, she wouldn’t push his boundaries. He really wished she would, though. Imagined her doing it and succumbed to his lust again, desperate for an outlet for his frustration. Stroked himself and touched himself and pretended it was Kairi doing it, Kairi bringing him pleasure, Kairi making him feel so good.

Afterwards he was left wanting her more than ever before. Getting himself off just wasn’t good enough anymore. It was a temporary way of relieving his frustration, nothing more. He needed her, but he couldn’t have her. He had to stay in control of himself to protect her.

Too bad she didn’t want him to. And he didn’t either.

* * *

Kairi passed by Sora’s room on the way to change into her clothes for dinner. His door was closed and the light was on and the soft moans coming from him gave her a smug sense of satisfaction.

She didn’t linger this time, though she stumbled a bit because ugh if hearing him moan for her didn’t make her weak in the knees. But it wasn’t really right to eavesdrop on him in the first place, and she certainly couldn’t excuse herself if she did it a second time. 

But still, it was good to hear her efforts were working. Good to hear that his drunken fever ramblings about how much he wanted her hadn’t been just that. She’d have to hope he’d eventually want her so badly he’d stop letting his fear and shame get in the way. Because she wanted _ him _ to be the one to initiate, and to do it fully and freely and of his own volition.

Still, nothing said she couldn’t give fate a little extra help. His birthday was in a few weeks, and she had just the idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora touches himself, and Kairi schemes about how best to seduce him.
> 
> Hey everyone, thank you for the comments and kudos as always! Re:Mind is almost here, can you believe it? To be safe, I ask that you keep Re:Mind spoilers out of your comments for the sake of other readers till I post Chapter 18 (which will be February 2nd or 3rd, depending on the time zone). By then, I'm hoping to have finished the new content as well, and then we can go spoiler crazy, haha. 
> 
> Anyway, as for the chapter itself, Sora and Kairi are slowly getting better about communicating, and it's been a pretty rewarding feeling, watching that journey unfold. Next week's chapter is another important turning point, so I hope you enjoy! Enjoy Re:Mind too, and see you next week!


	17. The Tango

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi was going to get Sora to realize that sex with his wife was a perfectly normal and healthy thing if it was the last thing she did, his ramblings about his darkness be darned.

Tonight would be a good opportunity. It was his twenty-second birthday tomorrow, and she was throwing a ball for him to celebrate. The people loved the idea of celebrating their handsome young king’s birthday with him, and the king in question had always enjoyed a good party. 

Her day had been spent going over preparations with the servants to make sure everything was just right. She wanted this to be perfect. No, it _ had _ to be perfect. It was all part of her elaborate scheme to get Sora to admit to himself… and to her… what they both knew he wanted.

Which was why, when evening came, she slipped into the sexiest dress she could get by with and still maintain the dignity of her station. It was all black with a plunging neckline and a flowing skirt that was perfect for dancing. Combined with her crown jewels, a pair of heels, and her hair up in a twist, and Sora would have no choice but to look at her.

Alma gave a low whistle. “You look beautiful, Kairi.”

Kairi smiled and thanked her as she placed one of her smaller tiaras on her head. 

There. The look was complete. It was time to go to war.

But Kairi wasn’t the only one who had prepared for battle. As she took a deep breath to prepare herself for her grand entrance into the ballroom to give a speech, she spotted Sora nearby.

She had no idea how he’d fit into the pair of black pants he was currently wearing. They looked like they’d been painted on. And his white shirt and black jacket were also fitted so tightly Kairi could practically see the outlines of his muscles. 

Not that she was complaining. Not by any means. It was just surprising that he would dress like this after how hard he had avoided any sort of sexual contact between the two of them. Maybe because it was his birthday? Maybe he knew it would increase his popularity with his subjects? Hard to say. Who knew what was going on inside that spiky-haired head of his.

“Sora,” she called. Now was the moment of truth. How would he react?

He turned his head and looked at her. His mouth dropped open as she made her way over to him, being careful to make her hips sway a little more than usual. His eyes lingered on her chest and legs, no doubt imagining what might happen if her neckline plunged just a little lower or her skirt hiked up a little higher, and she had to suppress the urge to cackle.

He didn’t stand a chance. 

She strolled up to him, casual as could be. “Good evening, and happy early birthday, my king.”

He swallowed. “Kairi, you look—”

“Stunning, I know,” she said with a sly grin. “I dress to impress.”

“That you do.”

She touched his chest, and he let out a soft gasp that made her smirk. She wasn’t even touching him anywhere inappropriate, really, and he was already this turned on. All those weeks of teasing him were finally paying off.

“You don’t look half bad yourself,” she said, straightening his tie and smiling. When she looked in his eyes, the desire and torment in them made her wonder why he was still doing this to himself, to both of them.

“Shall we?” she asked, looping her arm through his. Together they made their entrance, the attendees welcoming them with courteous applause. Kairi made a quick speech thanking everyone for attending and offered up a toast for Sora’s continued good health. Sora kept his speech short but cordial, and then it was time for the dancing to begin. As was the new tradition, the two of them would start, and then everyone else would join in.

He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves, leaving her to stare at his forearms as he adjusted his cuffs. His vest was just as tight as his jacket had been, too. The muscles in his arms were rippling and ugh, it wasn’t fair, why did that vest have to look so _ good _—

He caught her staring at him, and she looked away, face burning. But not before she saw a slight smile dance around the corners of his mouth.

“Shall we?” he asked. He led her out onto the dance floor, then slid one hand to the small of her back and took her other hand in his. Her breath hitched as he brought her body close to his. Sure, it was just for dancing, but—

Sora wasn’t the only one who had been deprived.

She looked into his eyes as the music began. Instead of the slow waltz he was expecting, the first notes of a tango floated through the ballroom. His eyes went wide and his lips parted, and it was all Kairi could do not to smile. He met her gaze, and understanding flickered through his eyes. Understanding and then this glint that told her he was rising to her challenge. Good. For a moment, they let the music play as they stared into each other’s eyes. For this dance, at least, they couldn’t ignore their feelings; couldn’t deny them; couldn’t pretend. 

She had to make the most of that.

Before she could do anything, though, he stepped forward, prompting her to drag her foot backwards. He repeated the movement with his other leg, and she stepped backwards again. A game of cat and mouse, he pursuing, her coyly retreating. One more time, and then a sidestep in harmony, complete with a delayed, sensuous slide. 

“I didn’t know you knew how to tango,” she said, though she figured he could. He’d always enjoyed dancing. 

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he said in a way that made her breath catch.

They continued, and by the fourth or fifth time through the basic step, she had a good feel for his rhythm. Time to mix things up a little. She kicked her leg out, then wrapped it around him as he spun them around. The look on his face as she let her leg slide down his when they moved into a lunge was priceless.

Heh. Who had the upper hand now?

But not for long. He dipped her low to the ground, forcing her to trust him not to drop her. She let out a soft little yelp of surprise, and he raised an eyebrow and gave her a satisfied smirk.

Oh, he was going to pay for that.

As he brought her back into his arms and moved her to a closed position, she made sure that her momentum “accidentally” brought her into direct contact with his body. A groan escaped his lips as she pressed her chest into him, and it was her turn to grin. 

A few moments later, he moved them into a promenade step, and as he led her forward, his hand went several inches lower than it really needed to. She gasped as it did, but before she could further react, he’d already moved them into a new step.

When he brought her back into a closed position, though, she was ready. She jumped and wrapped her legs around him, forcing him to catch her. As he steadied them both and prepared to lower her into a dip, she thrust her hips into his. He almost dropped her at that, and it was a shame, really, that the music wasn’t loud enough to cover his moan. A crying shame. Equally tragic was that he’d chosen to wear the pants he had tonight. 

What a tragedy indeed.

The look in his eyes now though—that was anything but tragic. Lust. Desire. Longing. Things he hadn’t allowed himself to express in weeks had finally reached the tipping point and were spilling out of him.

His hands grew bolder and bolder, his movements more and more sensuous as he lost himself to the dance and to their rhythm. Nothing crossing the line into complete impropriety, not with all these people around, but he was teetering closer to the edge with every movement.

She wanted him to go over it. Lose all control and take her then and there. Their movements felt less and less like a dance and more and more like foreplay, both of them pushing the envelope further and further to see how the other would react. She kept wrapping her legs around him, pressing her chest into him, and he kept dragging his hands up and down her back and moving his hips against hers, not even trying to hide his arousal from her.

Just when Kairi thought she would explode from the tension, the music wound down. He led her into one last dip, and when he brought her into his arms again, they were both panting for breath as the ballroom burst into thunderous applause.

She hardly noticed. All she could see was him. His spiky hair was even messier than normal and his tie was crooked. Sweat dripped down his face as he struggled to get his labored breathing (and everything else, for that matter) back under control. She looked into his eyes, waiting, wondering what he would do, hoping he would—

He smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, his touch gentle even as his hand shook and his breathing was still heavy.

“You were amazing,” he said softly. “They’re all clapping for you, you know.”

She glanced around them. They were still the only ones on the dance floor.

He gave her forehead a soft kiss, his lips lingering, wanting. But still he held himself back. He pulled away and smiled, and as he led her off the dance floor so they could mingle with the guests, her heart pounded and her head felt light.

What would it take to get him to stop holding back?

* * *

The next several hours felt like torture. Attending to her queenly duties meant she had to put on a polite smile when she wanted nothing more than to drag Sora into the hallway and screw him senseless.

She settled for the next best thing: as much PDA as she could get by with.

“Lord Claudius,” Sora said to one of the nobles as she hung off his arm. “How are you—”

She pressed her cleavage into Sora’s bicep as she offered Lord Claudius her hand, and Sora did his best to hide his reaction.

“Lovely to see you here tonight, Lord Claudius,” she said, giving him a winning smile. “I do hope you’re having a good time.”

The older man flushed pink. “Why thank you, Your Majesty. As a matter of fact, I am. Thank you for inviting me.” 

Kairi grinned and leaned against Sora’s arm. “Our pleasure.”

“Y-yeah,” Sora added.

Lord Claudius looked at them and sighed. “You know, it’s so nice to see a young couple so in love. Reminds me of me and my wife when we were young.”

“Glad to hear that,” Kairi said in a sugary voice as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss Sora’s cheek. “We’re still in the honeymoon phase, we can hardly keep our hands off each other—”

Lord Claudius chuckled. “Yes, I noticed. That dance earlier was some display.”

Sora’s face was slowly going beet red, and Kairi felt a little embarrassed herself. In the moment it had been fun and sexy, but thinking about how the people would react… 

“But there is no shame in that, Your Majesties,” Lord Claudius continued. “It’s good for the kingdom to be ruled by a king and queen who so clearly care for one another. A strong marriage leads to a strong kingdom, a steady line of heirs—”

Sora sputtered at that. “H-heirs?”

Lord Claudius raised his eyebrow. “Surely the king and queen have given thought to the future of our kingdom?”

Kairi’s heart pounded. While it was true that… someday, she’d thought about having children, and that if anyone _ were _to father her children, she’d want it to be Sora… she didn’t want it to happen like this. Not while he was still—

“We’re still young,” Sora finally said to break the awkward silence, his voice strained. “All of that can come later. Much later.”

“But of course,” Lord Claudius said with a polite nod. “Again, Your Majesties, thank you for inviting me.”

With that he excused himself, leaving behind the elephant in the room Kairi had carefully avoided since the start of their marriage. She’d been on birth control the whole time, not wanting to risk getting pregnant. But she knew how much Sora liked kids. How much he wanted children of his own someday.

Did he know? Had he figured out his wife refused to let her body carry his child without even telling him why? Did that hurt? Make him feel rejected, even? Not that he’d given her many opportunities to get pregnant, but… it was a conversation they needed to have, eventually. Kairi just didn’t want to have it yet.

Thankfully, Sora had the sense not to press the issue. But when she worked up the courage to look at him, his head was drooping and his eyes were full of pain. He met her eyes, though, and gave her a sad smile.

“It’s okay, Kairi. I wouldn’t be a very good dad, anyway.”

She was about to tell him he was very wrong about that when they were interrupted by another group of nobles. She had to bite back the urge to scream and plaster a smile on her face instead as they greeted them.

The downsides of being a public figure. She could be dying on the inside and yet she still had to pretend like everything was right in the worlds.

They got split up after that, and from then on, she hardly got to see him, let alone speak to him. She kept glancing at the big grandfather clock tucked away in a corner of the balcony. Nine o’clock. Ten. Eleven o’clock. Twelve. They had another toast for Sora’s actual birthday. 

One o’clock. Still a few guests lingered on. She wanted to tell them to go home, weren’t they tired already?

When it was almost two, the last of them finally left. Kairi’s feet ached from wearing heels for so long, and she took her shoes off as she and Sora made their way to the wing where their rooms were.

“Thanks, Kairi. Thanks for throwing me a birthday party,” he said.

“Of course. You deserve it. I hope you had fun.”

“I did, yeah.”

“Everyone else seemed to have a good time, too.” 

They rounded the corner, and Kairi paused. Her bedroom was on the left, and she didn’t want to say goodnight just yet.

“Did you have fun though?” he asked, fiddling with his tie. 

She nodded. “I did.”

“Good. I did too. Dancing with you was really fun.”

She grinned. “Yeah.”

He paused, his eyes flickering across her body. “Kairi, you look stunning, you really do.” 

“You don’t look half bad yourself,” she said softly, allowing her eyes to roam over him.

He reached for her hand and kissed it. “Thank you for such a wonderful night.”

“No, thank you. That was the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment. His eyes looked beautiful in the dim light, even if they weren’t their natural blue. 

“Goodnight,” he finally said, then turned to leave.

She grabbed a hold of his hand. “Sora, wait—”

That was all he needed. In another moment his lips were against hers, kissing her with abandon as weeks and weeks worth of pent up desire spilled out of him all at once. She dropped her shoes and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her body against his as he moaned his appreciation.

Gee, she’d missed this, had missed him. The taste of his lips, the feel of his arms around her, his wonderful smell.

He broke away from her for a moment, and his eyes were wild, his breathing out of control. “Kairi, are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure!” If he hadn’t figured that out after tonight’s dance, after weeks and weeks of her trying to—

He pushed her against the door and began a fervent attack on her neck, kissing and licking his way down as she struggled to get his vest and tie off. He paused for a moment to help her out, then yanked one of the straps of her dress out of the way, exposing part of her chest to him.

He paused and let his hand fall to his side, his eyes almost shy as he met hers. “Sorry, I don’t know why I—”

She grabbed his hand and brought it back to her chest, earning a soft gasp from him. “Don’t stop. Please.”

“But I… I don’t know how to please you,” he finally admitted, hanging his head. 

Her heart sank. Was that why he’d avoided—

No. She’d think about that later. Right now, she had to keep Sora engaged before he ran away from her again.

“It’s okay,” she said, bringing her hand to his face. “Together we’ll figure it out.”

Sora hesitated a moment, then a determined glint appeared in his eye. “Then… show me, Kairi. Teach me how to please you.”

“Okay.”

His hand was still on her chest, so she figured they could start there. She guided him through the kinds of touches that felt good for her, then let go of his hand and left him to his own devices. His hands were rougher than hers, but he was gentle and eager to please her and… and… it felt so _ good _ that he was actually touching her the way she’d hoped he would.

Every now and then she’d glance up at his face, too, and there was this intense focus in his eyes that was a turn-on in and of itself.

“If you want… you can use your mouth, too,” she said when she’d worked up the courage to speak again.

His eyes met hers. “You want me to?”

She nodded. “Please.”

He leaned down and paused, his mouth just inches from her nipple. “Um, do you want me to lick you? Kiss you?” His face flushed even darker than it was before. “S-suck on you?”

“How about you start with kissing and go from there?”

His lips were hesitant when they first met her skin, but his second kiss was a little less so, and his third kiss even less so. He tried a gentle lick after that, and her feedback was enough to get him to relax and be bolder.

In fact, he… really seemed to be enjoying this. Maybe even as much as she was. She was already moaning, and he started doing it, too, as he licked and sucked and kissed and caressed her. 

Then he seemed to remember himself and pulled back a little, glancing into her eyes with an embarrassed look in his. 

“No, I want to hear you,” she said softly as she ran her fingers through his hair. “If you’re enjoying it, I want to know.”

He gave her a brief nod, then went back to what he was doing before. And boy was it working. He was experimenting, trying all kinds of touches to see what she liked and quickly zeroing in on the ones she did. She cradled his head in her arms, wanting him as close as possible, wanting to hold him and treasure him and cherish him as he adored her. 

She ran her fingers through his soft hair, relishing the fact that he had finally allowed her to be close enough to do this. He sighed at that, which sent a jolt of arousal down her spine.

“Sora—”

His mouth silenced hers as his hands went up her skirt, touching and caressing her. He was exploring again, learning, reacting to her sounds and movements and adjusting his touches accordingly. He found her panties and slipped them down her legs, and she kicked them off, glad to be rid of them.

But now he was wearing entirely too many clothes. She fumbled with his shirt and finally got it off of him, and it joined her underwear and shoes on the ground. Something about her boldness was making him bold, too. When his pants were mostly out of the way, he lifted her up against the door, his eyes glazed with lust.

“Here?” she asked, breathlessly.

“Why not?”

He hiked her skirt up, and she wrapped her legs around him to help him balance. He was trembling, he wanted her so badly. His kisses were hungry now, desperate, and she could feel him pressed up against her, yearning for her. But still he didn’t try to enter her, just kept kissing her and touching her.

Surely she was wet enough by now. “Sora, please—”

He hesitated, and there was real fear in his eyes. “Kairi, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Just go slow, it’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but… the moment I start hurting you is the moment I stop.”

He had to shift her weight around and adjust his angle, as awkward as their current position was. But then she finally felt him push past her folds and enter her, and she gasped.

He froze. “Kairi—”

“No. It feels good. Keep going.”

“If you say so.” He was slow and took his time, which gave her body time to adjust to having him inside her again. How she’d craved this, had craved him. It felt so good to hear his moans and feel his hot breath on her skin as they finally came together after weeks of being apart.

“That’s it,” she murmured as he pulled back a little and thrust into her again. “Just like that.”

She wove her hands into his hair as he continued his rhythmic thrusts. His breathing grew ragged, and her hands slid to his neck and shoulders, dragging her nails across his skin and driving him crazy.

He wasn’t going to last long at this rate.

Sure enough, a few thrusts later, he let out an agonized cry as he went over the edge. She just stroked his hair and caressed his skin as he poured himself into her, his climax sounding more painful than pleasurable. Maybe it was after waiting for so long. She tried to ease whatever was troubling him with her light, and it seemed to help. When he was through, he gently lowered her to the ground. What a sight she must be, her dress disheveled, her hair halfway down, her jewelry askew, her underwear gone.

She looked into his eyes, hoping they might be blue. 

They were green. Well, that was still better than yellow. For a few seconds, little swirls of darkness floated off of him, but then he shook his head and they were gone. Their eyes met again for a moment before he backed away from her, his gaze finding their pile of clothes on the ground. 

“Kairi, I’m sorry, I came before you did again—”

She put her hand on his cheek and made him look at her again. “What are you apologizing for, silly? It was still fun for me.”

As far as she was concerned, every time they made love was a good time. But he still wouldn’t look her in the eye. 

“But Kairi, I—”

“Shhh, no ‘buts,’ mister, unless it’s my hands on your butt.” She smiled at his flustered reaction. “And who said we were done?” she added, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll have you know I’m not through with you or your cock yet. Now get inside my room.” 

His face got even redder, and she grabbed his necklace and tugged him close. “I told you, didn’t I? We’ll figure it out together.”

He allowed himself a small smile. “Okay.”

She found his hand and led him into the privacy of her room, then cleaned herself up as best as she could. When she returned to him, she started fiddling with her earrings.

“May I?” he asked, and she nodded. He undid the clasp of her necklace and handed it to her, his hand lingering on hers for a moment.

“Help me get my dress off, too, will you?” she said as she put the necklace on her dresser.

He nodded, and before long, she felt the dress slip down her body and collect at her feet. All that was left was her tiara, and Sora was the one who removed it from her head, pausing to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead right after he did.

The tiara taken care of, it was his turn to be undressed. She tugged at his pants, and soon they had joined her dress on the floor. His boxers followed soon afterwards.

She paused for a moment and let her eyes wander all over his body. This was only the second time she’d seen him fully naked, and she wanted to make the most of it. Even in the dim light of her room, she could sense this faint aura of darkness floating off him, but it did nothing to hide how good his body looked.

She reached her hand towards his face, and he stooped a little so she could reach his mouth. But instead of kissing him there, she stood on her tiptoes and planted two gentle kisses under his baggy eyelids.

“There,” she said softly. She’d wanted to do that for ages now. What would it take for him to look well-rested again?

He hesitated, then brought his hand to her face and cupped her cheek. His lips found hers, and he kissed her slowly, sensuously. His arms went around her and brought her close, and it felt good to have his body against hers, skin against skin with nothing separating them from each other.

Her hands started to wander, experimenting with the kind of touches he liked, figuring out what places felt good for him. He touched her in return, and they inched closer and closer to the bed until she stumbled back onto it and he hovered over her. Just like their first time. 

But Sora paused, a frown crossing his face. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. 

“If we continue… this is just gonna end the way it did last time. Pleasure for me but none for you.”

“I already told you, even when I don’t come it still feels good—”

He shook his head, his spikes going this way and that. “That’s not good enough anymore. I’m supposed to take care of your needs. _ All _ of your needs. And this is a big part of that.”

She just stared at him. Her pleasure mattered that much to him?

“I don’t know your body the way I should, Kairi,” he said, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pulled into a taut line. “So please… like you did earlier… teach me.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Finding his hand once more, she guided it between her legs and did her best to tell him what felt good. Much like when she’d directed him earlier, there was something very tender and intimate about what they were doing right now. He treated each new discovery like it was something precious and exciting, a small smile appearing on his face here, a delighted grin showing up there as he figured out how her body worked.

And he was figuring it out. Slowly but surely, he was getting her there. But she was starting to wonder about his needs again. Surely he wanted some attention.

When she tried to reach for him, though, he just shook his head and gently pushed her hand away. “No. Right now this is about you.”

“And if I want you inside of me again?”

He paused. “We need to do something different, then. Me being on top isn’t working, clearly.”

“Then we could try… me on top?” she said, carefully studying his face for his reaction. Would he think it was unmanly for him to—

“Yeah, let’s try that,” he said. He rolled over onto his back and gazed up at her with an expectant look in his eyes that made her feel a little shy again.

“It might be… a little awkward,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You think I do? It’s like you said. We’ll figure this out. Together.” 

“R-right.” 

Thankfully, he was ready to go again at this point. Touching her must’ve been a turn on for him, too. She took a deep breath and moved on top of him with her legs straddling him… but how was she supposed to get him inside of her from here, let alone make love to him?

As the agonizing seconds ticked by, she was beginning to regret suggesting this. What good would it do if she couldn’t even—

“Need help?” he asked, his eyes softening. 

She nodded, too embarrassed to say anything. This time he was the one who grabbed her hand and led it to his dick. Then they were fumbling around together, trying to get their bodies to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle that just did not want to go together. 

“There we go,” he said, “I think—Nope, wait—” 

His eyes met hers, and he just burst out laughing, which got her to giggle, too.

“Some pair we are,” he said with a grin, “can’t even—”

“You were saying?” she said as she smiled sweetly at him, because she’d just gotten it to work, some way, somehow, and his reaction was absolutely worth all the fumbling. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, a low moan escaping his mouth as he clutched the sheets. 

“_Fuck, _ Kairi—”

“Mmm, feels good for me too,” she agreed, grinning at how she’d gotten him to swear like that. But her triumph was short lived, because she still didn’t know what to do from here.

After a few moments of just… remaining like this, his eyes fluttered open. 

“What is it?” he asked, his eyes soft again.

She chewed on her lip. “I’m not really sure how to…” She reached for his hands and put them on her hips. “Help me?”

He did. There was more fumbling and overall awkwardness, especially on her end, as she had to figure out how to work him from this position. But the two of them got the hang of it in the end, their bodies moving together like they had always done this, like they were always meant to do this. 

The angle was much better for her, that was for sure. And when Sora gently pulled her down so he could kiss her and touch her breasts, she couldn’t have stopped the sounds escaping her throat even if she wanted to.

Hearing her really get into it got him going, too. He got louder, more vocal, making it clear he was enjoying himself just as much as she was. Then he was touching her all over, adding to her pleasure, increasing her stimulation as she got closer and closer to the edge. 

He was doing everything he could to get her off, and it was finally enough. She came as he continued to stimulate her with everything he had. Her heart swelled, and light radiated off of her as she let herself succumb to his touch. All of that together—all that pleasure meant just for her—there were no words for how good it felt, for how good he felt. 

When she’d recovered enough to form cohesive thoughts, she glanced down at him. His face was flushed and his eyes were filled with wonder and awe and excitement. 

“Did you come?” he asked, breathlessly, shakily. “Kairi, did you actually—” 

She smiled and nodded. “Third time’s the charm.”

A huge grin lit up his face. “Man, that was incredible. We should do this more often.”

“We should,” she said softly.

He got quiet at that. “Sorry, I—”

She just shook her head. “No, no apologies right now. It’s your birthday, and we can talk about all that later, okay?” 

He was silent. 

“You still haven’t come yet, and I want to do something about that,” she explained.

“But I already came earlier—”

She put her finger over his lips to silence him. “Think of it as a birthday present.”

He hesitated. She could see how much he wanted this, wanted her. “If it’s really okay with you—”

“It is. But could we change positions? My legs are getting kinda tired.”

“Of course.” 

He rolled her onto her back, and now his body was on top of hers. But just like their first time, she didn’t feel scared or threatened by him, just safe and protected.

“I’m a little sensitive right now, okay?” she said as she wrapped her arms around him. “Be gentle.”

He was. His thrusts were slow and deep, very different from their earlier sessions today. Like he wanted to make this last, make every movement truly exquisite. Her body gradually recovered from her own climax, and when it had, she rocked her hips up to meet his.

She threw her head back and moaned, the angle felt so good. “Oh, Sora—”

He froze, and it was like her words had flipped a switch inside of him. His breathing grew ragged, and when he started moving again, he switched from thrusting to something more like pounding. 

All she could do was lie there and take it, soft squeaks and moans escaping her every now and then as he had his way with her. He was becoming more and more unglued, his movements frantic, his breathing erratic. Wow, this was hot. Like he had to have her right now or else—

Wait, something was wrong. His darkness was spiking, and—

“Sora—” she whimpered, trying to warn him. But it was too late. Darkness exploded out of him right as he came. She could feel it pouring into her, feel it pressing down on her because _ he _ was pressing down on her.

She couldn’t help it. She flinched and let out a panicked cry.

Sora’s eyes snapped to hers, and understanding dawned in his. They went wide as he took in the scene beneath him, as he realized what had just happened. 

“No, no, please, no—” he said, his voice trembling. “Tell me I didn’t—”

She brought a shaking hand to his face. “Sora—”

He flinched as her fingers connected with his skin. “Don’t touch me!” he cried as he pulled himself out of her and stumbled off of the bed. “I’m not safe, I never should’ve—”

“Sora, it’s okay!” she said, wincing as she sat up.

“No, it’s not okay!” he shot back as he found his pants and pulled them on. “I could’ve—I almost—”

“Sora, please, don’t go—” she said as he staggered to the door.

He froze and looked back at her. He took in how she was clutching her stomach, noticed how she couldn’t chase after him. 

“I can… heal myself…” she said, summoning her light to repair what the darkness had injured. “S-see?”

His eyes met hers again, and his were filled with shame and horror and grief.

“Someone like you never should’ve married a monster like me.”

With that, he was gone. But not before Kairi heard his sobs echoing down the hall. That was when she realized she was sobbing, too. Tears were pouring down her face and her whole body was shaking. She collapsed back onto the bed and just wept and wept and wept.

So that was what she had sensed earlier. That was why he had cried out in pain. He must’ve been suppressing his darkness, turning it back in on himself, whether he realized it or not. But he hadn’t done that this time. He’d been too caught up in the moment, and his darkness had reacted to her heart glowing with light. 

Normally, she could hold her own against his darkness. Keep it at bay. But she was tired out from everything, her orgasm having drained her energy. She was at her weakest physically, at her most vulnerable, and she’d let her guard down because she felt so completely loved and adored by him. 

Yet another thing ruined by the darkness. Nothing would ever go right. Even when they were together something was always tearing them apart. She might as well give up now. Was it really worth risking her life and Sora’s happiness on the chance that she might be able to save his darkened soul?

Because one thing was for sure. He was far more miserable with her than he’d ever been without her, and that wasn’t the kind of life she wanted for him. He deserved better. He deserved the worlds.

Maybe it would be better to leave him now. Maybe he would be happier if he—

But then she thought of his joyful grin earlier as he’d stared up into her eyes with wonder and awe. Thought of his gentle smile after their flirtatious tango. Thought of the sorrow in his eyes at the prospect of never having children with her. Of his laughter as they’d figured out a new way to make love tonight.

And she couldn’t help but think… maybe… maybe that made it all worth it in the end.

When Dr. Valens knocked on her door a few minutes later to check up on her, she was already feeling better. She threw on some clothes and answered the door, and he gave her a concerned look over the rims of his glasses as she opened it.

“Your Majesty, are you okay?” he asked, tilting his head this way and that as he checked her body for injuries.

“How did you know that—”

“His Majesty burst into my room while I was fast asleep. Gosh, that was a big shock.”

“O-oh.” Sora had really… asked him to come check on her? Even though it had to be past three in the morning, easily?

“You don’t seem to be injured,” Dr. Valens said, interrupting her thoughts, “but can I take a closer look?”

“Of course.” She opened the door wider and let him into her room, hoping he wouldn’t notice the clothes strewn all over the floor or outside in the hall. If he did, he had the courtesy not to say anything.

She grabbed her vanity stool from the bathroom and offered him her desk chair to sit on. He pulled out his medical kit and went through the usual checks—temperature, blood pressure, heartbeat, etc. 

“That all looks normal, but if it’s okay with you, His Majesty said the injuries might be around your stomach and lower abdomen.”

She nodded and lifted her shirt high enough for him to check. His expert hands felt around, searching for damage, but her light had already healed it.

He did a few more checks, just to be thorough, but he found no injuries. 

“I’m glad to report you are in perfectly good physical health,” he said as he packed up his things.

She nodded. “That’s good to hear, thank you.”

“Now,” he said, his eyes softening, “I don’t mean to pry too much into matters of the heart, but… gosh, a sad heart can really weaken the entire body. Please take care of your heart… and His Majesty’s, too. For both your sakes.”

“Believe me, I’m trying.”

He gave her a gentle smile as he stood, not unlike that of a grandfather’s. 

“And that’s all anyone can ask. Sleep well, Your Majesty. I’ll check on you later again today just to make sure your health is holding steady. Darknesses’ effects aren’t always immediately felt.”

“Right.”

“If you have any sort of pain whatsoever, don’t hesitate to come find me immediately.” He paused, his lips twitching. “Even if it’s at three in the morning again.”

She smiled. “Of course. Thank you.”

As she climbed into bed, she couldn’t help but think… even if things had taken a turn for the worse tonight… there was still hope.

There was always hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, fingering, PIV sex. Sora accidentally hurts Kairi with his darkness while they're intimate.
> 
> Hey everyone! Thank you for the comments and kudos! The tango scene was a lot of fun to write, and so were the moments where Sora and Kairi just enjoyed being together. I know things ended on an angsty note, but they will deal with the aftermath of what happened in the next chapter. 
> 
> Speaking of which, feel free to talk to me about Re:Mind and such when I post next week's chapter, but until then, no spoilers, please. See you next week!


	18. The Princess and the Knight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are brief references to some of the events in Re:Mind and KH3 in this chapter. Please see the end notes for content warnings.

Sora was afraid to even look at Kairi the next morning, and yet all he wanted was to see if she was okay. What Dr. Valens had told him had made him feel better, but it wasn’t enough. He had to see with his own two eyes that she was okay. Then, after that, he could—

“Happy Birthday, Your Majesty!”

Priscilla burst into the dining room with a plate of all of Sora’s favorite breakfast foods, eggs and sausage and bacon and biscuits and gravy and pancakes with whipped cream and fruit on top, and set it down in front of him.

Oh yeah, it was his birthday. He’d sort of forgotten about that after—

Kairi’s pained cry from last night flickered through his head, and his appetite was gone. 

“Thank you, Priscilla,” he said anyway, because it would be rude not to eat all this food that she had so painstakingly prepared for him. Especially since she had delivered it herself, when normally Marcus would have done it.

“Will Her Majesty be joining us for breakfast this morning?” Priscilla asked.

“I’m not sure yet. Would you mind preparing something just in case?”

“Of course.” And with that she disappeared into the kitchen again.

As he poked at his food, he thought over his dilemma. His body was poisonous, toxic; he had to keep it far away from Kairi. No more passionate lovemaking sessions. Any time he was inside her was a risk to her health, to her life. Without her light magic, he could’ve— 

And for all he knew, she might still be injured. All because he’d lost control and couldn’t be trusted with his own body. But as her husband, she had certain needs he should take care of. How was he supposed to fulfill his vows to her if—

He ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t sleep with her anymore. Even trying to use a condom might be risky. If darkness could scar skin, who was to say it wouldn’t tear right through latex? But asking her to be in a sexless marriage was cruel. Especially because she clearly wanted sex.

What if… what if he let her take a lover?

But the thought of another man making  _ his _ Kairi cry out, bringing  _ his _ Kairi pleasure, satisfying  _ his _ Kairi the way he and he alone wanted to able to satisfy her— 

The darkness in his heart threatened to pour out of him again, and visions of him killing Kairi’s imaginary lover with his bare hands filled his mind.

Priscilla’s voice broke through his murderous haze. “Sire, are you feeling quite well?”

Sora glanced down. His fork and knife had cut all the way through the plate and had broken it, and he wanted to groan.

He couldn’t be trusted not to destroy things. That was all he was good for, death and destruction. That was what he’d done all along, destroyed Heartless and Nobodies and Unversed and countless other enemies with his Keyblade. Kairi was the one who brought life and healing. What he’d told her last night was still true. She never should’ve married a monster like him.

He glanced up at Priscilla and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, Priscilla. Guess I got a little too excited about the pancakes.”

She just smiled. “It’s a compliment to my cooking to say so.”

“Your cooking deserves all the compliments.”

She just shook her head and clicked her tongue. “You’re a real charmer, Sire, but I’m savvy to your ways. You just want extra bacon.”

“Guilty as charged,” he said with a shrug and a grin.

“Well, it _is_ your birthday. Guess I can indulge you.” She winked and then was gone again, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.

Letting Kairi take a lover was out of the question. Divorcing her was also out of the question. He’d have to find a way to satisfy her needs without—

Oh. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? There were ways to pleasure her that took his pleasure out of the equation. His dick wasn’t the end all be all, and it was stupid and self-centered of him to think so. He had a mouth and fingers and he would put them to good use. His own needs could be taken care of in the privacy of his room… same as before. Then the poison that came out of his body could only hurt him and him alone.

The question was, would Kairi let him anywhere near her anymore? It was assuming a lot, thinking she’d even want to—

He buried his face in his hands. He had no right. None. Even being around him was a risk to her. Best to just push her away for her own protection—

“Sora?”

Of course. Of course she was here. He peeled his hands away from his eyes to look at her. She was wearing a pink dress that reached to her knees today, with a matching hat and shoes. Like nothing had gone wrong last night, like everything was fine.

“Happy Birthday,” she said as she took her place at the table next to him. Like he wasn’t the monster that had nearly destroyed her from the inside out just several hours before.

“Dr. Valens came to check on me,” she said, before he could even ask. “He says I’m perfectly healthy.”

“No thanks to me.”

She gave him a sad smile. “You’ll have to do a lot worse than that to take out a Princess of Heart, my king.”

How could she speak about it so casually, like all that had happened was a sparring match?

“I’m not the weak girl I used to be,” she said softly, glancing up at him as she took a sip of her morning tea.

“I never thought you were.”

Her mouth pulled into a taut line as she set the tea back down. “Oh, I was, believe me.”

He shook his head. “No, I was the one who was weak. I was only strong when I was with you.” He gave her a rueful smile. “Nothing’s really changed, has it?” 

“And yet… everything has.”

Neither of them said anything for a while after that except to thank Priscilla when she brought out Kairi’s breakfast. Similar food but smaller portions that she ate like the queen she was.

“I canceled your meetings this afternoon,” she said as they were finishing up.

He nearly spat out his drink. “You what?”

“It’s your birthday. You should have the entire day off, not just the morning. I was surprised that you hadn’t canceled them already yourself.”

The one thing he had to get his mind off of everything that had happened was gone now. Great. 

“But—”

“No ‘buts,’ remember?” she said, and while her eyes were still sad, her lips twitched a little at her joke.

Great, she just had to remind him of that, too.

She placed her hand over his, and wonder of wonders, she was still wearing her wedding ring. “This day is yours, and you get to choose what to do with it,” she said. “And anyone who thinks otherwise will have to answer to the queen. Or to be more specific, the queen’s Keyblade.”

A day to do anything he wanted? When was the last time he’d had that?

She gave his hand a squeeze. “If all you want to do is sleep, that’s fine too. You look exhausted.”

He didn’t have the heart to tell her every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was her scared face as his darkness tried to tear into her.

“I can’t… I can’t sleep,” was what he settled on.

Comprehension flickered through Kairi’s eyes. 

“Okay, I have an idea,” she said. “We can relax in the sitting room with you on the couch, and I’ll read you stories until you fall asleep. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds… pretty nice, actually.”

It would be even nicer if she could… come into his room and do it. His bed was more comfortable than the couch, and having her comforting presence by his side as he fell asleep might be enough to keep the nightmares away.

But no, the black box was hidden in his room. He couldn’t risk her finding it. That would ruin everything. And her room was out of the question. He didn’t want her getting the wrong idea. Her room was where they had sex, and he refused to allow himself that privilege any longer.

The couch it would be. 

She nodded. “I’ll meet you there in a few, okay?”

With that, she was gone, and he realized what it was he really wanted to do on his birthday. But it was something he didn’t dare say out loud. Someone like him didn’t deserve to be happy. 

But Kairi? She deserved the worlds.

If only he could give them to her. 

* * *

“Once upon a time…” Kairi began.

Sora just looked at her from where he was lying on the couch. She’d insisted on making him as comfortable as possible, scrounging up the best blankets and pillows till he was nicely cocooned inside a layer of fluff and warmth. She was on the chair nearby with a blanket of her own, a red and gold storybook open on her lap as she read out loud to him.

Her voice was soothing and gentle, and the blankets were really warm, and his eyes were getting heavy—

“The knight gave his life for the princess, and she was saved,” Kairi read, and Sora was wide awake again. 

“There was great joy and celebration throughout the land at the monster’s slaying and at her safe return,” Kairi continued, “and she was wed to the prince. The two of them vowed to never forget the knight’s bravery and sacrifice, and they created a holiday to remember him. Every year, on the thirteenth of April, they celebrated his life and remembered his death by preparing his favorite food and pouring out libations in his honor. And, at the seventh minute of the sixteenth hour, they raised their hands in salute to him.”

There were more details after that, but as Kairi finished with, “And they all lived happily ever after” (well, except the knight, sheesh, guess the storyteller had forgotten about him by then), the story left Sora with one unanswered question. 

“Kairi… do you think the princess and the knight were in love?”

She looked up. “Hmmm?”

“I mean… the knight gave his life for her, right? He took the blow meant for her and destroyed the monster.”

She glanced back at the page again. “He did.”

“But did she love him?”

She hesitated. “It’s hard to say. She did marry the prince, after all. Maybe, if the knight hadn’t died…”

“But he did die. He had to die to save her.”

Her eyes met his, and hers had a deep heaviness in them she rarely allowed people to see. 

“Then… maybe that’s why she created that holiday for him,” she said softly. “She didn’t want anyone to forget. Least of all herself.”

Her hand was resting over her heart now, and the look on her face made Sora wonder—

“We should celebrate that holiday,” he said. “It’s in a couple of weeks, isn’t it?”

She gave him a soft smile. “Yeah. Whether the story’s true or not, that knight deserves to be remembered.”

They just gazed into each other’s eyes for a few moments, neither of them saying what they knew the other was thinking about.

Then the spell was broken and Kairi turned the page. “Want me to keep reading?”

Sora nodded. “Please do.”

As she began the next story and his eyelids got heavy again, the story of the knight and the princess still wouldn’t leave him alone. Maybe because the princess wouldn’t say whether she… 

But it didn’t really matter. The knight was dead, and nothing the princess could’ve done would’ve brought him back. No happily ever after for him. It was all just a fairytale, anyway. The only story that mattered was reality. Sora knew that, and yet… the story made him sad. Yet another reminder that fate really wasn’t kind to the good-hearted.

Well, it was a good thing he wasn’t good-hearted anymore. Maybe for once he’d get off easy, the way Xehanort had gotten off easy after ruining his friends’ lives and splitting Kairi’s heart into pieces—

Sora sighed. Seven years later and Kairi’s loss, temporary though it was, still felt like someone was stabbing him through the heart. Good-hearted or not, that hadn’t changed.

To love her was to suffer. But looking at her now, reading to him like this with a soft smile on her face…

It was worth the pain. It was worth all the pain, and he’d go through it all again just to have her here by his side like this.

If only… if only she knew. 

* * *

“Kairi…”

Sora’s eyes fluttered open, but Kairi was no longer sitting on the chair next to him. 

“Kairi?” he asked before his eyes rested on a small pink envelope that had his name on it. Stumbling off the couch to grab it, he opened it up to see her neat handwriting.

**“A birthday present, a queen’s surprise**

**A treasure hunt meant for the king’s eyes**

**Follow the clues and you will find**

**The final place she has in mind**

**Meet her there and you will see**

**What she has in store for thee.”**

A treasure hunt with clues made just for him? That sounded awesome. There was another slip of paper in the envelope, the first clue. He pulled it out, and it said:

**“I’m always with you, but when I am not**

**You’ll find me here, drawing a lot.”**

Drawing a lot, drawing a lot… Oh yeah! She really liked that one garden with the roses and the lovers’ fountain. He’d found her there a number of times with her sketchbook just drawing the scenery. 

He ran outside, and thankfully it looked like he hadn’t slept too long. It was probably still early afternoon, going by the sun’s position overhead.

He poked around the white bench she usually sat at, and sure enough, there was the next clue in another small pink envelope.

**“That one was too easy, don’t you think?**

**From now on, you’ll have to work harder to link**

**All the pieces together, yours and mine**

**Our hearts connected, our bodies entwined.”**

Bodies entwined… bodies entwined… did she mean…

Oh, last night’s tango. Right. The next clue was somewhere in the ballroom, it had to be. He was off to find it, and sure enough, after several minutes of searching, he discovered it under a vase on one of the tables. 

**“I always called you a lazy bum**

**But really, you were always my closest chum**

**I wrote you a lot of letters and to this day**

**There was one letter unsent because you’d gone away.”**

One letter unsent? What did she mean by that? And how would he be able to find the next clue based on that?

Letters… letters… letters were written on paper and stuff… maybe she had some in her room?

He hesitated at her door. Thought about how not even a day ago he’d held her against it as he’d made love to her, her moans and sighs filling his mind, the way she’d begged him to enter her still enough to make his heart race. He was pretty sure he still had scratches from her nails on his back, too.

But all of that was over. He couldn’t be trusted not to hurt her. Every time they had sex was a risk to her safety, and it was selfish to even think about wanting it again.

Before, it hadn’t been so bad because he hadn’t known what he was missing. But now that he did… 

He raked his hand through his hair. “Focus, Sora, you need to finish the treasure hunt.”

He went inside her room and tried to shut out the memories from last night that kept popping into his head. Were those a part of his heart now? Was that why they wouldn’t leave him alone?

Her stationary collection was easy enough to find, but he had to shuffle through it to find another one of the pink clue envelopes. 

**“In the depths of darkness a gentle light**

**Is always with you, even though you might**

**Think about giving up and succumbing to despair**

**Kiss me once and don’t you dare.”**

One kiss… one kiss.

Of course! Their wedding. Time to search the chapel.

He hadn’t really been here since then. Too many painful memories from that day. It really was beautiful though. The windows were all stained glass, so colorful light flickered across the floors, and the organ looming above him added a sort of majesty to everything that made him feel… not unimportant, but like he was just a small part of something a lot bigger.

As he strode towards the altar, he thought about how this had been Kairi’s view as she’d walked down the aisle to him. Their friends should’ve been on either side, but instead it was mainly just a bunch of people she barely knew. 

Hardly the wedding he’d wanted to give her. But then again, this was hardly the life he’d wanted to give her. Still, it was better than no life at all.

Her next clue was tucked into the candle stand—ha ha, very funny, light in the darkness—and when he opened it, it said:

**“The sixth clue, after this only one more**

**Think about the day my feet were sore**

**Where was it you carried me from**

**When I was stubborn and acting dumb.”**

He grinned. Her pouty attitude aside, that was the first time she’d let him take care of her the way he’d sworn he would, and the memory had become a fond one because of that.

He made his way to the stables, and as he entered, both Midnight and Misty noticed he was there. He paused for a few moments to greet them both with some nice forehead rubs and a carrot each, being careful to keep his hand flat as he did to avoid accidental horse bites.

The final clue was tucked into one of the slats of Midnight’s stall.

**“When we were young we built a raft**

**And didn’t stock it with enough supplies because we were daft**

**But this time will be different, you’ll see**

**Be dressed for the journey and come find me**

**Your new vessel awaits, moored by the shore**

**I’ll see you soon, Captain Sora, as in the days of yore.”**

Wow, Kairi really had gone all out with this. He ran back to the Keep as fast as he could and threw on a more comfortable set of clothes, baggy sweatpants with a hoodie. He found Marcus and told him what was going on, then raced outside. 

There was a hidden path from the castle that led to the sea, and there was a nice ocean breeze that often blew past. Today was no different, and it wasn’t all that long before he reached the shore. This particular beach was reserved for the king and queen’s private use. Sora just hadn’t really done much with it yet.

Waiting for him near the edge of the water was a raft like the one they’d built so long ago. Kairi had recreated it almost perfectly. The logs were made from a different kind of wood, but that wasn’t surprising. The trees on this world were different from the ones back home. Otherwise the raft was almost identical.

It was too bad Riku wasn’t here. The three of them still hadn’t gotten to adventure on a raft together. 

Near the mast was the last of her little notes.

**“Thought you’d find the raft and be done, did you?**

**But there’s still more left to see and do**

**A map you must follow now to me**

**To reach the end of today’s journey.”**

Sora located the map easily. He hadn’t been here in a while, but there were a number of small little islands nearby. Kairi’s map led to one of them, marked with a bright red “X.” 

Well, it was now or never. He grabbed one of the oars and pushed the raft a little deeper into the water, his shoes getting wet in the process. Then he hopped on board and started paddling with the oar before realizing… why paddle when he could just use magic?

Setting the oar down, he summoned his Keyblade with a grin. A few seconds later, a huge blast of wind with only a little darkness came out of it and sent him hurtling in the direction of the island. He laughed and grabbed a hold of the mast for balance as the sea-salt spray whipped through his hair.

Captain Sora was sailing again.

* * *

The sun was getting low in the sky by the time Kairi’s island came into view. Smoke from what looked like a campfire was lazily making its way upwards. He scanned the shore for a good place to land, then urged the raft forward a little further.

When he got close enough, he could finally see Kairi. She was adding another log to the campfire, and there were a whole bunch of supplies spread out around her—folding chairs and a small table piled with hot dogs and apples and ingredients for s’mores. Her red hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that looked a lot like one of his hoodies that had gone missing a few weeks ago. It was too big for her, too, which just confirmed his suspicions.

She looked good in casual clothes. Really good. Especially knowing she was wearing  _ his  _ hoodie. Something about that in particular was really doing it for him.

Except he had no business thinking about that, thinking about getting that hoodie off of her and seeing if she had anything on underneath—

She glanced up from the fire right as he came ashore, and a smile spread across her face as she looked at him.

“Ahoy there, Captain Sora.”

If the hoodie hadn’t done it, hearing her call him Captain Sora sure did. He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he secured the raft and greeted her in return.

“Did you have a pleasant journey, my king?” she asked as he strode over to her, running his fingers through his damp hair to try to get some of the water out of it as he did. Her eyes followed his movements down to his chest before snapping back up to meet his gaze.

“I did,” he said. “The treasure hunt was really fun, too. Thanks for that.”

She nodded. “I wanted to do something special for your birthday.”

“You did, believe me. Especially with all this,” he said as he held out his arms. The perfect setup for camping under the stars like they used to do back home.

“And now you’ve found the treasure,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “My birthday gift to you… it’s just me. It’s selfish, I know, but I wanted to spend your birthday with you, just the two of us.”

He shook his head. “It’s not selfish at all. It’s the best birthday gift I could ask for.”

She smiled softly. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Their eyes met again, and neither of them said anything. Neither of them moved. Just enjoyed the moment, with the sun setting over the horizon and making the whole world come alive with golden light.

Then Kairi ducked her head and cleared her throat. “Um, I know you must be pretty hungry by now. Wanna cook the hotdogs?”

“Sure.”

He jammed as many as would fit onto one stake, and Kairi just giggled at that.

“They’re gonna fall off, you know,” she said as she carefully positioned exactly one (1) hotdog onto her stake.

“Will not. They’re perfectly balanced, see?”

He wiggled his stake around, and she just giggled harder before slowly lowering her stake over the fire. Not the direct flames, but near the embers where it would cook slowly and evenly.

Sora never had the patience for that. These hotdogs were all going straight into the fire.

A few moments later and the outsides were blackened just the way he liked them. He stuck them into the flames for a few more seconds just to make sure they’d gotten hot all the way through, then made his way over to the table to stick them in buns and add condiments.

“I can’t believe you think that tastes good,” she said when he came back and plopped down in his chair again. Her first hotdog was still cooking over the fire.

“What, you don’t like eating charred food?” he said right before he stuffed the first hotdog into his mouth.

Man, that tasted good. He hadn’t had campfire food in ages.

Kairi just shook her head as she watched him polish off that hotdog and move onto the next one. By the time he made it to his fourth hotdog, hers was finally done cooking, and when it was ready to eat, it looked like it had come off the cover of an outdoor grilling magazine.

He watched as she took her first bite, her eyes fluttering shut and a cute noise escaping her mouth as she savored her food. How could she look so good even when she was eating? Especially campfire food. There was no way to avoid making a mess with that.

She cooked another hotdog for herself after that and he cooked a couple more, too. He was eyeing the s’mores supplies when she stood and stretched. 

“Think I’m gonna go for a swim. Care to join me?”

“Oh.” Darn. He should’ve thought she might ask. Oh well. “Um, I didn’t bring my swimsuit,” he explained.

“I didn’t either.”

Sora watched as she casually lifted the hoodie over her head. 

She wasn’t wearing a bra underneath.

Gulp.

Her pants joined the hoodie over the back of her chair a few moments later, and she wasn’t wearing underwear, either. 

The light from the fire flickered over her body as she undid her hair and smoothed it out. She traced patterns over her stomach and lower abdomen, then glanced up into his eyes.

“See? All healed.”

She really did look okay. But still. He had no right, not when his body might as well be poison.

“Have these ready for me when I’m done, okay?” she said, gesturing at her clothes.

He nodded and watched as she walked over to the water’s edge, her hips gently swaying back and forth.

She was beautiful, and he’d never get tired of looking at her. Each day brought with it a new Kairi, and he wanted to meet them all. Right now the moon was shining on her pale skin, and the breeze ruffled her hair, the only thing covering her back as she waded into the surf.

Her swimming was slow, relaxed. Just enjoying the water with a slight smile on her face. He thought about how he and Riku had taught her how to swim all those years ago. She hadn’t really needed to back on Radiant Garden, but no one born on Destiny Islands would dream of being unable to swim. It was too dangerous.

“Here, Kairi, I’ll show you,” he’d told her as he’d grabbed her hand.

“O-okay,” she said, letting him lead her along to where Riku was already waiting for them in the water.

The moment she figured out how to keep afloat herself without any help… he’d never forget the way she’d smiled.

“It’s like flying,” she said, her eyes wide.

“Kairi, have you flown before?” Riku asked. 

A frown crossed her face at that. Sora didn’t like seeing her frown, so he thought of a way to cheer her up.

“I’ll take you someday!”

“Sora, people can’t really fly,” she said at last, and her voice was sad.

“Oh.”

Come to think of it… he’d still never taken her to Neverland. Being inside his heart didn’t count, he wanted to fly with her there for real. How many years had it been since he said he would? Another promise to her he hadn’t kept. 

As his eyes snapped back to the water, he couldn’t help but wonder. It had been a while since she’d gone underwater. Was she okay?

He stood and walked to the water’s edge. The waves lapped at his feet as he tried to spot her. It was kinda hard to with how dark it was now. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Then her head popped out of the water, and before he could react, she splashed him with a cheeky smile. She’d planned this, she’d lured him to the water’s edge, the sneak.

“Oh, it’s on now,” he said, getting his shoes and socks off as quickly as he could. His hoodie was off too before he noticed that her lips were turning blue and her teeth were chattering.

He held out his hoodie. “Okay, enough swimming for tonight. You look like you’re freezing.”

She stumbled out of the water to him, and he draped the hoodie over her shoulders and zipped it up. It was too big for her, of course, enveloping her in the hug he wouldn’t allow himself to give her.

Her eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds as she took a deep breath and then sighed.

“Thank you,” she said as her eyes opened again. Her teeth were still chattering and her hair was dripping wet, but she had a smile on her face.

“May I have my other hoodie back while you wear this one?”

“M-hmmm. That one was starting to lose your smell, anyway.”

He frowned. “I have a smell?”

“Of course you do,” she said as she adjusted the zipper. 

“What, like darkness?” he asked as he went over to retrieve the other hoodie. It was too cold to run around shirtless tonight. 

“No, the Sora smell. Like… a sea-salt breeze mixed with your natural scent. Maybe a little sweat and cologne in there, too. It’s hard to describe.”

He pulled the other hoodie over his head and he kinda got what Kairi meant. This hoodie smelled like her now, and it almost felt like she was giving him a hug.

It was the most he could allow for himself now, anyway.

They checked to make sure the fire was still okay, then huddled around it with the s’mores supplies as Sora scorched his marshmallows and Kairi cooked hers till they were a golden brown. He made her laugh by stuffing an entire s’more into his mouth all at once and getting the gooey insides all over his mouth and fingers and face.

Worth it, to see her smile.

When they were cleaning up the meal supplies, Kairi cleared her throat. “Sora, about last night—”

He shook his head. “We don’t have to—”

“I’m sorry.”

He nearly dropped the thermos he was holding. “For what?”

Kairi wrapped her oversized sleeves around herself. “I kept… egging you on. You were unsure, but I kept telling you it would be fine. I didn’t take your concerns seriously when I should have. And I got hurt because of that, and now you’re blaming yourself.” She brushed a strand of her still-damp hair out of her face. “I… I really wanted to sleep with you, and I didn’t think about whether you really wanted that, too. I kept pushing you and pushing you for weeks and weeks, wearing clothes I knew would get your attention, teasing you and touching you and—”

“And I wouldn’t change any of it,” Sora said softly. “Well, except for the part where I lost control. That never should’ve happened. But that’s on me, not on you. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Her lips parted, and he found her hand. “None of what happened is your fault," he told her. "Your desire for me isn't wrong or bad, either," he added as he gently squeezed her hand. "Flesh of my flesh, Kairi. You longed for me to make good on my vow to you. How can I blame you for that?”

She ducked her head. “Still, I was too pushy. I’m sorry.”

“Were you pushy, or were you trying to get me to follow my heart?”

“Both, maybe?”

He smiled. “Still the same old Kairi, then.”

“Still the same old Kairi. And... what about you? What’s  _ your  _ heart saying now?” she asked, weaving her fingers together with his.

“It says… to enjoy the rest of my birthday with my wife.”

“And will you?” she asked, looking up at him through thick lashes.

It wasn’t a question of would he. It was a question of should he, and the answer was no. 

“Kairi… until I can get myself under control, I can’t—”

Her face fell. “I understand.”

“For tonight, it’s enough that you’re here with me. We’ll worry about the rest tomorrow.” 

She nodded and squeezed his fingers. “We’re in this together, you and me. You’re not alone. I’m here with you, and we’ll figure this out.”

“Yeah.”

As they curled up in their sleeping bags later that night, separate sleeping bags several feet away from each other because Sora didn’t trust himself to be any closer, his thoughts went to the knight from the story again. What had been his dying thoughts? Did he know the princess would marry the prince after he was gone? Did that make him sad? Or was he just happy she would be safe and protected? 

He glanced at Kairi, her chest rising and falling in the steady rhythm of sleep, relaxed and completely at ease, and he had his answer. 

The knight loved the princess. So long as she was safe, he didn’t care what happened to him.

If only he knew if she—

But he was dead, and it didn’t really matter anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora has a brief murderous fantasy (it's not as bad as it sounds). He contemplates what his sex life with Kairi might look like going forward, so brief mentions of that are included. He and Kairi also sort through the aftermath of what happened in the previous chapter, and they reflect back on his disappearance after he saved her in KH3 and how that still affects them. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Feel free to talk to me about Re:Mind at this point if you'd like. As for the chapter itself, I'm really happy with how it turned out. It's one of those chapters that just sort of came to me as I wrote it, and now it's full of some of my favorite fluff moments, including the introduction of the knight and princess legend. I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for the comments and kudos, and I'll see you next week!


	19. The Orphanage and the Knight's Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are brief references to some of the events of KH3 in this chapter as well as a quick content warning. Please see the end notes for specifics.

“Morning, lazy bum,” Kairi called when Sora stirred in his sleeping bag. She rotated the apples roasting over the campfire as his spiky head popped out into the open. The fish she’d caught earlier had about reached a nice crispy texture too, and they smelled amazing. 

“Kai?” he slurred, giving her a bleary-eyed look. How could he look so cute after spending the night on the ground? It wasn’t fair. Her hair was a tangled salty mess right now after swimming in the ocean last night, but he was making the whole bed head thing work somehow.

“At your service, my king,” she said, bowing her head slightly.

He sat up and scooted closer to the fire, sniffing as he did. “Is that our breakfast?”

“Yep. A little simple, maybe, but I figured we could use a simple meal this morning.”

“Well it smells delicious. Anything I can do to help?”

“You can help me eat these,” she said as she pulled the stakes of fish off of the fire and handed him one of them.

Breakfast was delicious and very filling, and afterwards they cleaned up and loaded their rafts with the supplies. It was time to go back to everyday life.

Right before they set off, though, Sora turned to look at the little island one last time with a wistful expression on his face.

“We can always come back here, you know,” she said.

“Yeah, but it won’t be the same.”

What he meant by that, he didn’t say, and she didn’t ask.

When they made it back and were tying up their rafts, Sora spoke again. 

“Kairi, thank you. I really needed that. Just the chance to get away from it all for a little while was nice, and you did all that extra stuff to make it special.”

She nodded. “Of course. I wanted your birthday to be special. You deserve it.” 

He hesitated for a moment, then offered his hand. She took it and wove their fingers together as he led her back to the castle, and he didn’t let go until they were standing in front of her room. She had half a mind to ask him to join her for her shower, but… with how careful and guarded he was being right now, best not to push things.

Before long she was clean and dressed and sitting in one of the meeting rooms with Sora and a number of the nobles. They were all seated around the large round table like they usually were, but the atmosphere was a lot chillier than normal. If she didn’t know better, she would’ve thought she’d just become queen again. It was like the past months of proving herself hadn’t even counted. 

Some of them were even looking down their noses at her, mostly the older ones, and Sora hadn’t missed their icy attitude. His mouth was pulled into a tight line and his face was twisted into a scowl. Lady Diana’s cold green eyes met Kairi’s across the table, and she curled her lip. Ugh. So this was what this was all about. She’d probably found some “indiscretion” to hound them both over. 

“Would anyone like to tell me why the room is so tense today?” Sora asked, his voice cold. “Did something so terrible happen after I took one day off that some of you feel the need to glare at the queen like she has personally insulted you?”

There was a general sense of unease as the nobles squirmed in their fancy plush chairs.

“Your Majesty, if I may,” began an older gentleman. Lord Aurelius. 

“You may,” Sora said.

He exchanged glances with Lady Diana. “We’re simply…  _ concerned  _ about the lack of restraint His Majesty showed at his birthday party. The… display with Her Majesty was… quite heated, and the people are talking about it.” 

Kairi winced. So their dance really hadn’t gone unnoticed. Well, it had been pretty steamy… 

“Good,” Sora said. “Let them talk. Lord Claudius was good to point out that very night that such a _display, _as you call it, is a good sign. A sign that the queen and I are close and that our marriage is healthy. If you are truly concerned for the future of our kingdom, you would know that such a healthy marriage is needed for making the heirs everyone’s so eager for the queen and I to produce, our youth and the fact that we haven’t even been married a year yet be hanged.”

There was more squirming at that, and then Lord Aurelius spoke up again.

“That’s just the thing, Sire. The abrupt manner in which your meetings were canceled yesterday was also troublesome. There are… rumors going around that His Majesty is young, impulsive, guided by passion instead of wisdom—”

“The two are hardly mutually exclusive,” Sora said. “And I have always lived and ruled by my heart. Why is this just now becoming an issue? Is it because I married a peasant you don’t think is fit to help me rule, even though she’s more than proved herself already these past several months? Because it sure seems like that’s the real problem here, not anything Kairi’s actually done. Just your biases and prejudices against her.”

Kairi couldn’t look anyone in the eye. She just couldn’t. She wanted to sink into the floor right now and be anywhere but here.

“And is our king not likewise blinded, not by bias and prejudice, but by passion?” Lady Diana asked, shooting a glare across the table at Kairi. 

Kairi could sense the darkness welling up within Sora. She gave him a nervous glance, and he just shook his head, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

“Maybe I am blind. Maybe we’re all blind. In that case, I propose a test. We take several issues people in our kingdom are currently facing. We all write, without consulting anyone else, our names and what we would do to solve these problems. If Kairi’s answers seem reasonable to you, especially if they are similar to your own answers, then you will see for yourselves she is fit to be my co-regent.”

His expression softened as he looked at her. “I already know the truth. But… I ask that you give her the chance to prove herself to you as well, though she really shouldn’t have to, after everything she’s already done for our kingdom. To mention nothing of how she’s a Princess of Heart, like I’ve told you before.”

No one said anything, and Sora continued. “I apologize for my harsh tone and biting words, but she is my wife, and I will not stand to have her honor insulted.” His voice grew soft, and he gave Lord Aurelius a look of compassion. “Surely you understand.”

Lord Aurelius glanced at the ring on Sora’s finger. “Yes, Your Majesty,” he finally said, and his voice was soft now, too. But when Sora looked to Lady Diana, she avoided his eyes and said nothing. Even he could only do so much to persuade a hard heart. 

Kairi did her best to suggest answers to the issues, but it wasn’t like there were easy solutions to many of them. She was pleased to see that her answers tended to match Sora’s as well as the nobles’ though. Sora was also pleased. He had a slight smile on his face every time he read one of her answers and the nobles had to admit her suggestions were worth considering. Lady Diana was the opposite of pleased, however. Her sneer got worse and her glare was going to bore a hole into Kairi’s skull at this rate. 

Then Sora got to an issue that really caught Kairi’s attention and distracted her from Lady Diana completely. 

“This building… it’s Rufus’s orphanage. The boy Kairi protected,” he said as he stared at the pictures of it. “It needs a bigger building, right?” he asked as he stared at the pictures of it. 

Kairi craned her neck to see. The current building was nice, white with blue awning like a lot of the buildings on this world, but it just wasn’t big enough to hold all of the kids. One photo showed them with sleeping bags filling the bedrooms, leaving barely enough room for them all.

“Is there a reason they can’t get a suitable building?” Kairi asked the woman sitting next to her, Lady Flavia.

“There have been issues with funding, Your Majesty,” was Lady Flavia’s response. “The orphanage is having trouble raising the necessary money to build a new—”

“Your Majesty,” Lady Diana said coolly, “may I suggest a fundraiser? It will raise awareness and increase your public image, as well as the image of your advisors—”

“No, I’ll pay for it myself,” Sora said softly. “A fundraiser is a good idea, but it’ll take more time and risks sending the wrong message. These kids deserve to have a better place to live as soon as possible, and not just because some rich people want to increase their social standing.”

Lady Diana’s eyes narrowed. “And how do you propose to build this new building, even if you have enough funds?”

Sora answered her evenly, coolly. “I’ll break ground on the new land for it myself if I have to.”

“And I’ll help you,” Kairi said, placing her hand over his. “Point me to where the shovel is, and I’ll start digging the foundations.”

He smiled and, keeping his eyes on her the whole time, said, “Hear that, everyone? My queen has spoken, and her word is as good as my word. Our hearts are in one accord, and when she speaks, treat it as if I have spoken. Show her the respect and deference you would show me, even if you disagree. Especially if you disagree. Never be afraid to voice your concerns, but treat her as my equal.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” was the general response. Lady Diana was silent, but that couldn’t be helped, Kairi supposed. She and Sora would always have enemies, no matter what they did.

She mouthed  _ thank you  _ to him, because he really was her number one advocate, her biggest supporter. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then looked to Lady Flavia.

“Now, what can we do about that orphanage?”

* * *

It was funny how quickly work on the new orphanage began once word spread around that the king and queen had taken time out of their schedules and munny out of their coffers to oversee the project.

First was a visit to the old building with the necessary architects and building planners along with them. The building was within walking distance of the wharves, and Kairi took a deep breath and sighed, letting the familiar scent of sea-salt fill her nostrils. She glanced at Sora. The breeze ruffled his hair, and he smiled and gave her hand a squeeze.

It was almost like they were dating again for the first time. Sora wouldn’t allow himself much more than handholding, but there was something tender and intimate about how openly he did express his affection for her now. Not in words, but in touches. The way he wound their fingers together. The way he tapped his fingers against her palm. The way he held her hand any time they walked somewhere together. Constant little reminders that he was here with her and thinking about her even if he couldn’t say it out loud.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready.”

Within moments of their arrival they were greeted by a throng of enthusiastic children on the orphanage’s playground. There was a brightly painted swing set in the corner, but most of the playground was green grass, which was good because they needed all the space they could get right now.

“The king and queen are here! The king and queen are here!” shouted Rufus, eyes bright and face flushed as he raced towards them with a small army of children behind him.

The children rushed at them to hand them pictures, give them gifts, and shake their hands. Their caretakers arrived soon after and did their best to try to get the kids to form some sort of line, but Sora didn’t seem to mind the chaos, and Kairi didn’t either.

When she glanced over at him, he had a huge smile on his face. A little girl that couldn’t have been more than about five or six came up to him and tugged on his pants to get his attention, and he got down on one knee so they were eye-to-eye.

“And who might you be?” he asked, softening his voice.

“Camilla.”

He stuck out his hand. “It’s an honor to meet you, Camilla.”

She put her tiny hand in his, and he shook it very solemnly and exaggeratedly. She giggled at that, and Sora burst into a smile. Kairi felt something inside of her melt at seeing her husband be so kind to this little girl.

“I made something for you,” Camilla said. She handed him a crayon picture of him and Kairi together, big pokey yellow crowns on their heads, Sora’s hair a set of brown spikes, Kairi’s hair a bunch of red lines. The letters T H A N K Y O U were carefully etched across the top with the K backwards, and Camilla’s name was carefully written at the bottom of the paper.

But what really stuck out to Kairi was the way she’d drawn their stick hands overlapping. Even a small child had noticed, huh?

Sora accepted the gift and told Camilla it was beautiful and he would treasure it always, which just made her smile again. He handed it to one of the guards for safekeeping, then looked at Kairi in a way that made her become even more of a puddle on the ground.

And the feeling didn’t go away. Especially not when a small group of boys started heckling him. One of the caretakers was about to intervene when he whirled around and stared down at the boys. They gulped as he pulled himself up to his full height, crossing his arms and tapping his foot like he was very, very annoyed.

“Oh, is that how it’s gonna be, huh? You think you can get by with mocking the king like that?”

The color drained from the boys’ faces, and one of them opened his mouth to speak when Sora broke into a huge grin and bopped his nose.

“Tag, you’re it! You’re all it! Come get me!” 

He took off running, and the kids screamed in delight and chased after him. But Sora hadn’t spent years running around worlds for nothing, and he gave the kids quite the run-around, laughing as he easily evaded their attempts to reach him, teasing them and letting them get within inches of touching him, only to move out of the way just in the nick of time.

A young boy named Cassius was a little too small to keep up with the big kids, but this was easily fixed by Kairi picking him up and balancing him on her hip. 

“Okay, Cassius,” she said, “we’re it, and you’ve gotta help me, okay? You touch the king as I chase after him.”

Cassius reached out a short stubby hand to show that he understood.

“Exactly. Just like that.”

Sure, carrying a kid made it harder to chase after Sora, but she knew him well and she knew she could catch him eventually. She just had to be patient. His energy wouldn’t last forever.

It actually turned out to be easier than she expected. She was sort of running along, trying to make sure Cassius didn’t bounce up and down too much, when Sora turned to look at her. She smiled, and he halted long enough to get dogpiled by a large group of laughing children. 

She just shook her head and grinned as she strolled over and bent down so that Cassius could tap his spiky head. He looked up at her, panting and grinning and pinned down by a bunch of kids, and her heart melted all over again.

“You win,” he said, and it was a good thing she had a good hold on Cassius, because Sora had just taken her right back to being a blushing teenager.

The other kids thought it would be hilarious to all “tag” him too, which quickly morphed into Sora pretending to die a dramatic death as they did. Just when they were getting worried about him, he resurrected as a zombie and started chasing them around. Of course he hammed it up and fully played the part, making truly undead-sounding noises and dragging his feet along with his head at a funny angle and his arms outstretched, muttering, “Brains, brains…”

Kairi wanted this lovely time to last forever, but as the day grew short, their shadows grew long, and the surveyors and architects were waiting nearby. It was time to go.

“Sora,” she called, and he looked up. He currently had five kids hanging off his arms, Rufus included, and she almost hated to put an end to this.

He already knew what she was going to say. “Please, Kairi, just five more minutes?” 

That was soon followed by a chorus of, “Please, Queen Kairi, just five more minutes!” from pretty much every kid.

She opened her mouth to speak when Sora brought out his last resort. The puppy dog eyes.

Sure, it wasn’t quite the same with his gold eyes as it was with his natural blue ones, but… the kids were copying him now too… she was weak to the puppy dog eyes and he knew it… and ugh if these kids weren’t adorable…

“Oh, fine,” she said, smacking her forehead and resting her hand on it. “Five more minutes.”

Sora let out a loud cheer and the kids joined in. Yes, Kairi had lost, but she also sort of felt like she’d won, too. Seeing Sora like this, it was worth getting back to the castle a little late.

The goodbyes took another fifteen minutes after that, and she and Sora both promised they’d come visit again soon. Cassius and Rufus found her to give her high fives, and all the children told them they’d draw them even more pictures and get them more gifts for the next time they visited.

“You don’t have to get us anything,” Sora said. “Just spending time with you is good enough.”

“But we want to!” one of the boys said, one of the ones who had jokingly heckled him before.

“Then we’ll be happy to receive whatever gifts you want to give us,” Kairi said as she found Sora’s hand. “Thanks for having us. We’ll see you again soon.”

Sora didn’t let go of her hand the entire way back to the castle. They took their seats at the dinner table and he kept holding her hand under the table, only letting go so they could eat.

Afterwards, he walked her to her room and bent down to kiss her hand, as was his custom now. 

“Goodnight, my beloved,” he said softly. And as she watched him walk away, she rested her hand on her stomach and sighed.

“Not yet, Sora. Not like this. But someday… someday… when you’re safe, when you’re fully  _ you  _ again…”

But someday seemed like such a very long way away right now.

* * *

The thirteenth of April had arrived, and with it their somewhat impromptu celebration of the knight’s holiday. The people were always happy to have another excuse to party, and booths and stalls had been hastily set up around town, this time centered around an old-fashioned, knights-and-castles-and-princes-and-princesses sort of theme. 

Kairi wore a royal blue dress with long draping sleeves, a floor-length skirt, and a plunging neckline with tight lacing. Between that and the girdle around her waist, the dress emphasized her figure nicely. Her hair was done up in two long braids coiled at her ears and held in place by a barbette and fillet, forming a crispinette, and she wore a veil in the style of other worlds and older times. 

Sora was dressed, not as a king, not even as a knight, but as a guard. His hair was covered by a hood, and he carried himself differently, managing to blend in with the rest of the guards.

“Today, I’m just gonna be me,” he said. “And if I’m dressed like this, I have a good excuse to be with you the whole time.”

That meant that the usual retinue of guards that followed Kairi around whenever she stepped foot outside the castle would be unnecessary. Everyone just assumed that the queen was the only one making an appearance today.

As they were buying flower crowns from one of the stalls, Kairi noticed a certain young noble lady with a certain young kitchen worker. She couldn’t help but smile at the big grin on Marcus’s face as he pointed to different things and explained them to Lady Lygia, who was watching him like she was under a spell. 

Then Lygia looked her way and smiled and waved. Marcus did too, a little sheepishly, but Kairi wasn’t about to give him grief over their differences in station. As far as she was concerned, love and a determination to make it work were all that were needed for a good relationship.

She was glad to see the two of them so happy, too. She’d had a heart-to-heart with Lygia earlier, apologizing for her strange behavior before. Lygia had been gracious and had accepted her apology, and while the two were not quite friends, they were at least on good terms now.

She and Sora spent the day wandering around the festival. The legends differed on what the knight’s favorite food and drink was, so every stall claimed that it had the true favorites so wouldn’t you please come try them? In this way the day went on till it was time to honor the knight with a salute and a moment of silence.

They ascended the stage in the town square together, and Sora removed his hood, which made the audience gasp and then murmur amongst themselves. The king disguised as a mere guard? Was this supposed to be a trickster festival?

Sora opened his mouth to speak when she found his hand and gently shook her head. He gave her a quizzical look, but she just held her other hand out. Octavius handed her a goblet of Sora’s favorite wine, deep red in its clear glass, and Sora watched her every move as she let go of his hand and took a step forward to address the people. 

“Thank you, everyone, for coming here today. I hope you’re enjoying the festival.”

There was a loud cheer, and she smiled and waited for the noise to die down.

“This festival is a new one, based on an old fairytale,” she continued. “The true details are lost to time, if the knight and princess and prince-turned-king ever lived at all. But even if they did not… there is a man standing before you today as brave and selfless as the knight. Today’s festival is as much to honor his sacrifice as it is to honor the knight’s. Much like the knight in the fairytale, he likewise died to save his princess.” 

The audience was silent, completely enraptured in the scene unfolding before them. She turned to look at Sora, and he stared at her, speechless.

“Tradition states that I pour this wine out on the ground in honor of the dead knight. But if he’s alive… if he lives… wouldn’t it be more fitting to give it to him instead?”

The audience roared its agreement, and she handed the wine to him. He took it from her with shaking fingers, and his eyes were watery as he looked into hers. 

“Kairi—”

“For the knight,” she said so everyone could hear her. “And for my king,” she added, for his ears only.

He drank as the crowd went wild but didn’t finish the goblet. Instead, he handed the remaining portion back to her.

“Drink, beloved,” he told her. “The knight would want the princess to share in his celebration.”

She smiled and nodded, a few tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. But they were good tears, grateful tears; and there was no shame in shedding them. She drank the rest of the wine as the audience shouted its approval. 

When she was through, she glanced at the clock tower nearby. Perfect timing. It had just turned 4:07. 

“And now, a moment of silence for the knight. Not only to remember his death, but to celebrate his life.”

Sora found her hand again and held it as everyone closed their eyes and bowed their heads. Kairi’s thoughts went to his sacrifices, and never had she been more grateful that he was alive. Darkness or not, he was Sora, and that was all that mattered.

The rest of the festival went smoothly, and when it was dark outside, a troupe of dancers put on a reenactment of the fairytale on stage. The monster’s costume was truly frightening and truly impressive, some unholy mixture of a dragon and a demon with flashing yellow eyes. It slinked across the stage as the different dancers that made up its body moved together in perfect unison. Kairi latched onto Sora’s arm as soon as its head pointed right at the audience, as it reminded her of all the Heartless they had fought with its cold yellow gaze.

The monster threatened Mare Caelestis, and the Princess of Light entered the stage to fight it. The monster was big and strong, and the princess wasn’t used to fighting such a creature. But still, she did her best against him in an elaborate ballet performed entirely en pointe. 

Right as she was about to deal the finishing blow, however, the monster tricked her. But before it could strike her down, the knight jumped in front of her and took the blow instead. His pure love for her was as bright as light, and his sacrifice defeated the monster for good. 

Kairi wiped her eyes as the princess wept over the knight’s dead body till the stars came to take it away. The prince comforted her in a beautiful pas de deux, and the two were wed in a ceremony set to bittersweet music. The performance ended with the first celebration for the knight, and the knight’s dancer came back to join the festivities as a spirit.

As the dancers exited the stage, Kairi was the first to spring to her feet, clapping as loudly as she could to show her appreciation for the performance. Sora soon joined her, and before long the dancers were back and receiving a standing ovation. When she glanced at his face, he met her eyes, and for a moment, his briefly turned blue before going back to gold. She found his hand and leaned against his arm, and he leaned his head against hers.

His heart really was mending, piece by piece. And maybe… maybe someday it would be fully whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler details: Sora and Kairi continue to deal with the aftermath of Sora's sacrifice and disappearance at the end of KH3. 
> 
> Content warnings: Sora and Kairi share a goblet of wine. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Thank you for the support as always. This chapter was a lot of fun to write, and therepeutic in a way too. It helped me process my feelings over the end of KH3 to imagine Sora and Kairi together in the future, reunited and working through their pain over what happened... and letting it bring them closer to each other. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	20. Beloved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

After the knight’s festival had ended, Sora walked Kairi to her room. He kissed her hand as per usual, and as he straightened, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. An impulsive kiss that made his eyes go wide before his face relaxed into a smile.

“What was that for?” he asked, his voice soft as he brought his hand to her face and caressed her cheek. 

How could she put it into words? It had been on her mind all day, and despite her toast to him earlier, she still had more she needed to say. 

She rested her hand over his. “Sora… the story of the knight…”

His thumb brushed against her skin. “Yeah?”

“He… he _ died _ for the princess, and she didn’t even get to thank him for his sacrifice. He gave his life for her, but he was gone before she could say anything.”

Sora wrapped his arms around her as she fought down the lump in her throat. “I think he knew how she felt,” he said softly.

“Then he should also know that she hasn’t forgotten what he did, and she won’t ever forget,” she said, pulling away to look into his eyes as tears threatened to spill out of her own. She brought her hands to his face and guided his lips to hers, doing what she wouldn’t have dared to do at the time. What she hadn’t dared to do in a while now. 

And Sora kissed her back, desperate kisses seeking her comfort as much as offering his own. Scars didn’t have to be visible to still hurt, and the ache of those old wounds had come back to haunt them both. Kissing was a distraction, a salve, a reminder that they were both alive, that they were both here, that they were finally together.

When he broke away, his breath was short and Kairi half expected him to tell her they had to stop. Her heart was already sinking and she was bracing herself for the inevitable disappointment when he spoke.

“Kairi, do you… do you want to...” he asked, nodding at her door.

She searched his eyes. Was he really okay with—

Best not to question it. She found his hand and led him into her room. As soon as the door was shut they picked up right where they left off, making up for lost time because who knew when there would be a next time. 

It wasn’t long before they ended up on her bed with Sora’s cloak and shirt off and her dress joining it as soon as he could peel it off of her. His hands tugged at her shorts, and that was when she had to stop him. Had to make sure he was okay with this, that he wasn’t just succumbing to his lust in a moment of desperation he might regret later.

“Sora, is this really okay?” Her hand found his and stopped it from going any further. “You don’t have to do this. I trust you, but I know you’re scared of hurting me—”

He shook his head. “I’m not gonna make love to you. Not the way you expect me to, anyway.”

Before she could ask him what he meant, he pulled her shorts down to reveal her underwear. Nothing cute or fancy because she certainly hadn’t expected… well, _ this. _

“Sora?”

He didn’t respond immediately, just kissed her stomach. When he kneeled at her feet and parted her legs, she about died. Especially when he paused to look up at her.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” 

She shook her head. She didn’t want him to stop. Not at all.

He kissed the inside of her thighs. He spent several moments kissing and caressing her, then slid his fingers under the elastic of her underwear and slipped it off.

Her toes curled in anticipation. Was he really okay with doing this? Going by the look on his face as he looked at her body, yes, but— 

His hair brushed against her thighs as he leaned in and kissed her, putting his lips and his mouth where she’d dreamed he would, and she couldn’t help but take a sharp breath as he did.

His head shot up again, a grin on his face. “Getting that excited already? That’s only a taste of what’s to come, you know.”

She buried her face in her hands as her skin flushed hot. “Sora, really?”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist that one.” His expression softened as he kissed each of her thighs again. “Well, you know the drill by now. I am your humble servant and you are my teacher.”

She just stared at him, with his head between her legs, ready to give her pleasure with none for himself. “Are you… are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I want to do this for you. Let me do this for you. _ Please. _”

Kairi had to lean back and look at the ceiling because looking in his eyes was too much to handle right now.

“I… I’ve only had you and my fingers down there, so… I don’t know what else I like.”

“Then we’ll figure it out. Together.”

She nodded, and he put his mouth on her and gently licked. She just stared at him, at her dear husband doing everything he could to make her feel good and bring her pleasure. His face was between her legs and his mouth was _ down there. _He was so eager to please her he was willing to do that, even.

Her heart melted, and she ran her fingers through his hair as she directed him. She told him what felt good, and even his fumbles made her feel loved. When he would look up at her every now and then to see how she was doing, the intensity of what was happening between them took her breath away.

How could he still be so sweet and charming when he was going down on her? It wasn’t fair. She was moaning and writhing like some kind of animal because of his mouth and tongue, and yet never had she felt so loved and cherished. It was like her body and heart and soul were all combining into one entity and spilling over into him and mingling with _ his _body and heart and soul.

“I’m gonna try using my fingers,” he said, his voice husky and his breathing heavy. He licked and kissed her some more, then gently parted her folds. She felt his finger slide in, slowly, carefully. The tip of his tongue peeked out of his mouth as he furrowed his brow and felt around inside of her, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Stop that,” she giggled.

He immediately did. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, worry filling his eyes.

“No, I meant stop being so _ charming. _It’s not fair.”

He just grinned. “Comes with the whole package, sorry.”

He used his fingers on her for a while, but he was back to the fumbling learning stages again, and it didn’t feel as good as his earlier efforts had. Yet. He’d get there, it would just take time.

“My dick knows what to do better than my fingers do,” he muttered. Before she could suggest he let his dick take over, though, he looked up and said, “Sorry, Kairi. Mind if I switch back to my mouth for now?”

“Not at all.”

He did, and her moans just seemed to encourage him. He started moaning too, and ugh if that didn’t make this whole thing that much hotter.

But despite how good it felt, she just couldn’t quite get there. Sora was still learning how to please her, and a part of her was holding back. Holding back to keep her light from coming out and agitating his darkness. And as the minutes ticked by, he got slower and slower and took more and more breaks until at last he stopped.

He glanced up into her eyes, apology already prepared when she leaned forward and put her finger over his glistening lips.

“No. No apologies. Not after you did something so beautiful for me.”

“But Kairi—”

“Thank you. Thank you for doing this for me.” She brushed several strands of sweaty hair away from his face, sweaty because he’d worked so hard to please her.

“If it’s not too much to ask… could you… hold me, please?” she asked. “I can wrap myself in a blanket if need be, but—”

Sora joined her on the bed, and she barely had time to even fish for the blanket before he pulled her close, their bodies touching just about every place they _ could _conceivably touch.

She felt his desire pressed against her, but he did nothing to relieve it, asked for nothing to quench it. Just held her tight as she thanked him again for doing this.

“Is there anything I can do to—”

“No. Not yet. My control isn’t good enough yet.”

But he _ was _ doing something about it, from the sounds of it. He… he _ wanted _to have sex with her again. It was a question of when, not if.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” she said. And if he was doing something about his darkness, she would keep restraining her light, too. 

“Kairi,” he said softly, “you don’t owe me sex. Just for one night, let me show you what you mean to me, no strings attached. I have a lot of catching up to do, and I want to make up for lost time.”

She buried her face in his shoulder. “Okay.”

As he kissed her all over and she drank in his scent and rested in his warm embrace, she couldn’t help but think that his pleasure would be her pleasure, too. She wanted to do for him what he was doing for her now.

“Sora—”

He paused and looked into her eyes. “I know what you’re thinking. That this is selfish of you and selfless of me. But you’re wrong. I’m the one who’s being selfish. Your feel, your taste… I want it all for myself. I like hearing you, knowing I’m the only one who gets to hear you. I like seeing you react to me, feeling you grab my hair and watching you look into my eyes as I—”

She silenced him with a kiss. This, at least, he could allow himself.

He was not quiet or shy about his arousal as she continued to kiss him, and it just made Kairi want _ him. _Not his mouth, not his tongue, not his fingers, him. Wanted him filling her up so she could feel him come undone inside her. Wanted to lose herself to him so he could share in her pleasure. 

She started rubbing up against him, her body aching for his, and he groaned and pulled away.

“Kairi, I can’t—”

“Sorry.” She rolled over and huddled in the blanket, already missing his warmth.

“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault your husband can’t give you what you want.”

She glanced back at him, and his eyes were pained. She had to say something, had to do something before he internalized this, too, before he told himself he was a bad lover, or worse, believed it.

“You’re wrong,” she said as she found his hand and wove their fingers together. “You _ are _ giving me what I want. You’re doing everything you can to make me feel good. And… I know why you’re holding yourself back. You’re protecting me, just like you always have. Only this time… it’s from yourself.”

Her words lingered in the air for a few moments. Then he nodded, ever so slightly, before lifting her hand to his lips and closing his eyes as he brushed them against her skin. “Anything for you, Kairi.”

She was the one who held him this time. Ran her fingers through his hair and wished he could see that she didn’t need protecting from him. He was her sanctuary and always had been. The shelter that had kept her heart safe, the knight who had given his life for the princess.

But in the end he had to go. Had to leave her because he didn’t trust himself. She was alone again in her bed, and the king would be alone in his bed. That was how it had always been, and that was how it would always be.

* * *

Sora was a mess of emotions when he made it back to his room. Kairi had thanked him for his sacrifices today. Publicly, in front of all those people. Then she’d allowed him to go down on her. Her taste, her scent, her moans and sighs, the close view of her body… all of it combined overwhelmed him. 

The only thing that could’ve made it better was if he’d gotten to stay with her. But sleep was a dangerous time; sleep was when he didn’t have full control over himself or his darkness. And the frustration of sleeping next to his beautiful wife knowing he couldn’t get any relief for himself would’ve made sleeping next to her difficult anyway.

Speaking of which, it was that time of day. Time to test his limits, his boundaries.

He went into the bathroom and removed his clothes. The monster inside him was even more hungry tonight than usual. All those new sensations of Kairi had teased him until he was about ready to explode from the tension.

He had two goals with this training. One was to make sure his releases didn’t have any more explosions of darkness along with them. The other was to build up his endurance so that once he and Kairi were having regular sex again, he could last long enough to please her and keep control over his darkness. This he was doing by edging himself over and over again till he couldn’t take it anymore.

Soon the hot water from the shower was running over his skin, washing it clean. All he had to do was picture Kairi tonight to really get himself going. The darkness inside him stirred as he came close to the edge and then backed off, then leaned against the shower wall and willed himself to calm down enough to continue.

The darkness never understood why he didn’t just let himself finish as soon as possible. But that was the easy thing, the selfish thing, and he wanted to become a better lover for Kairi.

When he had finally calmed down enough to continue, he started stroking himself again. The darkness stirred once more, hopeful that this, this would be the time. He moaned as he imagined himself between Kairi’s legs again, tasting her as she wiggled and squirmed because of him. The sights, the smells, the sounds, he could easily picture them all. They were all vivid in his memory. But right as he reached the edge, he stopped, just in the nick of time. His frustration was building, and it was fueling the darkness. It bubbled beneath the surface, and he had to keep control.

The third time, he was so sensitive it took hardly any time at all to reach the edge again. Man, he wanted to come. He needed to come. But he didn’t allow himself the pleasure, and the darkness was screaming at him now as his body begged for relief. 

This. This was what he was torturing himself for. This last time would be the true test of control. His brain was hopped up on chemicals that were clouding his judgment. His body was aching for release. The darkness was trying to take over and do what it wanted instead of what _ he _wanted. And that was the true test. What would his heart do? What he wanted, or what everything else wanted?

His eyes fluttered shut as he started stroking himself again. This time, he imagined Kairi beneath him as he entered her, as she accepted him and allowed him inside her body. Would he betray her trust, or would he prove himself worthy of it?

“Sora,” his imaginary Kairi said with a moan as he thrust in and out of her. He kissed her, because kissing her kept his heart involved. Kissing her was a reminder that this was so much more than just two bodies coming together.

“Look at me,” she murmured, and when he did, the tenderness and vulnerability in her eyes nearly overwhelmed him.

“That’s it,” she said as she stroked his face. “You can do this.”

As he looked into her eyes, he thought about today, thought about her thanking him for his sacrifices. Thought about what had driven him to sacrifice himself in the first place.

“Kairi, I love you,” he blurted out, unable to keep his feelings from spilling out all over the place anymore. She clung to him, a soft cry escaping her lips as she went over the edge and he along with her. Nothing about the noise he made was soft or restrained as all of the tension exploded out of him and brought him the relief he craved. 

His eyes flew open and took in the scene around him. He’d made a mess, yeah. But whatever, he could clean that up easily enough. The important thing was that only a small amount of darkness was wafting in the air right now. Less than there had been the last time he’d done this.

Progress. He was making real progress. He slumped against the shower wall as the water poured down on him. 

Maybe he really would be ready to make love to Kairi again soon. But until there was no darkness at all, he would keep pleasing her with his mouth and tongue. He would get her to come from that if he had to spend hours between her legs to make it happen.

Because she deserved to be pleased. It was his way of showing her… his way of showing her he loved her. The tender thing inside him was still growing, breathing life back into his heart and pushing the darkness back more and more. Sometimes it hurt, and sometimes it felt good, but there was no doubt about it: it was gaining ground over the darkness every day.

As he climbed into bed later on, he wished he could hold her in his arms. But until the monster inside him was completely gone, he would have to content himself with just imagining she was there.

* * *

Kairi’s dreams that night were of the two of them entwined together. The unnatural darkness was gone and Sora’s eyes were blue and they were free to make love however they wished, for however long they wished.

Waking up in the morning was terribly disappointing. Especially because her bed was empty when Sora should have been there next to her. Asking him to stay with her though… that would be torture, knowing he couldn’t have what they both wanted. Holding her and feeling her and breathing in her scent, all while being unable to do anything about it.

Desire could be a cruel thing.

Her day was the usual set of meetings, one about the orphanage, another about the treasury. The necessary parts of helping Sora run this realm. She kept staring at him all day long. Her eyes wandered to his mouth as he spoke, as he smiled, as he ate.

If only the nobles and advisors knew just where his mouth had been the night before. They would be scandalized, utterly scandalized, by the thought of their king pleasing his “peasant” wife with his mouth and tongue without asking for anything in return. Oh, she couldn’t help but smile smugly to herself. It was their dirty little secret she kept reliving over and over again until she was so hot and bothered that she had to take a few moments to calm down before their last meeting of the day.

After dinner and an evening spent playing card games, Sora walked her to her room. Instead of saying goodnight at her door like he usually did, he gave her an alternate proposal for the night’s activities. Her face flushed and her eyes darted around, hoping none of the servants had been around to hear that.

“You mean… again?”

She wanted this, but she had to make sure he did too. 

“I was under the impression that I hadn’t finished my task yesterday. Or should I say, _you _hadn’t finished.” He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. “I wanna try and fix that.”

“O-oh.” She felt her face flush deeper. She wanted this and he wanted this and he knew she wanted this. There was no hiding her desire from him.

She cleared her throat to pretend some semblance of her dignity was still left. “I mean… oh, I see. Well then. Please, come in.” 

She opened the door, and Sora’s grin got bigger. “With pleasure.”

And something about the way he said that nearly made her trip on the way to her bed. She rolled with it and wound up on her back with Sora hovering over her. He took his time, kissing her deeply as his hands found the buttons on her blouse and undid them. 

The blouse out of the way, her bra was next. Each time he removed an article of clothing, he spent a lot of time kissing the body part it had covered. Like he couldn’t get enough of her. Like he had to show her how much he adored her. And when his head was finally between her legs again, lapping up her taste, it was even more intense than before.

She didn’t finish before he got too tired to continue, but she certainly got a lot closer tonight than she had before. As they cuddled together afterwards, her body safely wrapped in a sheet so he wouldn’t get too overwhelmed like he had last night, she told him as much.

“Then I’ll keep coming by until you do,” he said, running his fingers through her hair. “I know we can’t have sex the way you want us to, but this, this I can do for you. No, this I’ll gladly do for you.”

“And when I finally do come?” she asked, resting her chin on his chest. It was a question of sooner rather than later, with how quickly he was improving.

“Guess I’ll have to work my way up to twice in a row. Then three times, then four…”

He had a teasing smile on his face, but something told her he wasn’t joking.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” she said softly.

He nodded as he cupped her cheek, his wedding ring cool on her skin. “Absolutely. My wife won’t go unsatisfied. Not anymore. I’m gonna treat her like she deserves to be treated.”

If only he’d let her treat him like he deserved to be treated.

But a part of her was selfish and wanted to take whatever pleasure he would offer. Enjoyed being the center of his attention. Wanted him to worship her body. Craved his touch and affection.

So she let him keep doing this. Let him give her pleasure without offering him any in return. Because he said he didn’t want it, even though his body was clearly screaming for it. His moans were getting louder and his eyes were getting wilder and how much longer would he torture himself like this? Every time they cuddled afterwards, she could feel his desperation, sense his frustration, and that just made the guilt worse. Until the next night when she was horny enough to push her guilt aside long enough to allow him to torture himself all over again.

This continued for several days till one day, it finally happened. He made her come, and from his lips and tongue alone. She couldn’t help it when she squeezed her thighs around his head and bucked her hips against his face and grabbed at his hair. All that mattered right now was making this feeling last for as long as possible. That and restraining her light, which she managed to do okay.

When it was over and she’d calmed down a little, she released his head. His breathing was loud, easily as loud as hers, and she wondered if he’d even been able to breathe. As he rested between her legs for a moment, his hands clutching the sheets so hard his knuckles were turning white, she ran her fingers through his hair. 

When he finally looked into her eyes, his breathing still a little heavy, he licked his lips and grinned.

“That was incredible, Kairi. Thank you.” 

“_You’re _ thanking _ me?” _ she asked, tilting her head. “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

He shook his head, his hair brushing against her thighs. “Nope. You let me share in something special, and it was pretty awesome. So I’m thanking you.”

He smiled again, and it was just too much. She couldn’t take this anymore.

“Come here,” she said as she pulled him up and kissed him. Her taste was still all over his mouth, but she didn’t care. Not after what he’d done for her. He let out a surprised little noise and stiffened before melting into the kiss and weaving his fingers into her hair.

When she finally leaned back, she gave him one last kiss on the nose and rested her forehead against his. “Thank you.”

She hoped he would understand the full meaning behind her words. 

“Anything for you, Kairi,” he said, and she believed him.

If only he would allow her to do for him what he’d done for her. But after cuddling for a little while longer, he kissed her goodnight and left her alone, the same as ever. Gave her what she wanted but not what she craved. And he was left as unsatisfied as ever.

No longer. He’d been creative with finding ways to satisfy her. Surely she could do the same for him. The key was getting him to see his body wasn’t poison. That it was beautiful and that she thought he was beautiful. And to do that, she needed to show him how much he meant to her. 

As she fell asleep that night imagining his arms around her, she came up with an idea. All she had to do now was wait for the right time.

Because it would come sooner rather than later. She just knew it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, fingering, oral sex (cunnilingus). Sora also edges himself to learn how to control his darkness.
> 
> Hello everyone! Thanks for the comments and kudos. With this chapter, I wanted to address their intimacy issues again as they search for ways to be close to each other without risking Sora having more issues with his darkness. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	21. Heart in Repair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Life was going well. Sora’s kingdom was in order, the new orphanage building was making steady progress, the people liked him, and his wife was finally getting the satisfaction she deserved every night. Well, insomuch as that was possible. And sure, their sex life was a little… unusual, but what mattered was that she was happy.

“My king?” 

He paused so she could catch up to him. Her dress today looked especially nice, and he was already looking forward to getting it off of her tonight. 

“Morning, Kairi.”

Her soft hand found his, and he gripped it tightly as they continued on to breakfast together.

“Sleep well last night?” he asked. 

“Thanks to your efforts, yes.”

He smiled at that. “Glad to hear it.”

“Did you sleep well?”

How to answer that? After going back to his room, he’d done what he usually did: train himself to release without releasing any darkness at the same time. None had come out of him the last few sessions, but it was one thing to stay in control of himself with his own hand and another altogether to stay in control of himself inside Kairi.

“As well as I could,” he finally said.

She pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows.

“It’s okay,” he said.

She shook her head, her red hair splashing against her neck and shoulders. “No, it’s not. Flesh of my flesh, Sora. What we have now is nice, for me, sure. But you won’t even let me try to—”

He stopped and put his finger over her lip. “We’ll talk more about this tonight, okay?”

She glanced at where they were, then nodded. “Okay. So long as we talk about it.”

He didn’t really want to talk about it. That was more just to put it off because they couldn’t exactly talk about their sex life at the breakfast table. And when night came and he stopped by her room as always, he absolutely did not want to talk about it. Just wanted to get her clothes off of her and bury his face in her—

“Sora—”

He stopped kissing her neck long enough to look into her eyes. “What is it?”

She was pinned beneath him, her cheeks already flushed, her hair splayed over the pillow. “I want you,” she said, her voice pleading, her eyes begging for him. 

He could do it. Could give her what she wanted right then and there. It would be so easy, so natural. 

But it wasn’t worth it. Not when she could get hurt.

“Kairi, you know I can’t.”

Her lips formed a pout. “Why not?”

“If there’s even a chance I’ll hurt you, I can’t—”

“It’s worth the risk! _ Please. _I want to feel you. I feel so empty without you right now.”

He groaned and rolled off of her. He couldn’t look at her and listen to her pleas or he was gonna give in.

“Kairi, if you want something inside of you, there are ways we can—”

“No. I don’t want some_thing _ inside me, I want some_one_. I want you.”

He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. This was not helping.

“I want to feel connected to you,” she continued. “And no toy is going to be able to substitute for that.”

She was right. He hated to admit it, but she was right. No amount of oral sex or toys would substitute for the kind of sex she wanted. And he craved that connection with her, too, longed to be inside her again. 

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I want that connection too, Kairi,” he finally admitted.

“Then _ please— _”

He gripped her tighter. “But what I’ve been doing _ is _ my way of connecting to you. I know it’s not good enough, but I—”

_ “Stop.” _She pulled back, and her face was scrunched up. “You’re doing everything you can to satisfy me. I don’t want to hear you go back to hating yourself.”

But he did sort of hate himself. How could he not, after what he’d done? All he had to do to kill his arousal was think about her scared, pain-filled face as he’d hurt her with his darkness. That was more than enough to make him go soft, every time.

When he was pleasuring her, though, he was able to forget about that. For just a little while, he could focus on her and her pleasure and get to be a part of it without his darkness and corruption seeping in and ruining everything. 

He moved between her legs. “Let me do this for you, Kairi. _ Please. _It helps me… it helps me forget about myself for a little while. It’s selfish, I know, but when I can focus on you, I—”

“Go ahead,” she said softly. 

He nodded, grateful she understood, then worked his way up to slipping his fingers inside her and pleasing her as best he could. When she’d come once that way, he switched to his mouth and tongue, taking his time to get her well and truly worked up again.

She was so wet, and her taste filled his mouth and her scent filled his nose as he lapped up everything he could, his moans providing that extra stimulation he knew she liked. When she clutched his hair and started bucking her hips into his face, gasping and moaning as she lost control, that was when he knew he was doing a good job tonight. Sure, he could hardly breathe, but it was totally worth it.

The best way he knew how to describe it was that he was drunk on her. Drunk on her smell, drunk on her taste, drunk on her body. He looked into her eyes, his face covered in her wetness, and what he saw was enough to make him dive right back in again. 

He was gentle at first as she recovered. Licks and kisses avoiding her most sensitive areas until she was ready for more. And when she was, he gave it to her. Fucked her with his tongue and rubbed her clit as she clutched the sweat-covered sheets and moaned and writhed because of him. Her eyes were half-lidded, her mouth open as she became more and more undone.

He groaned along with her, aching to be inside her. His dick twitched and throbbed, and he pushed it into the bed to get it to shut up. Right now was about her, not about him.

But that felt _ good. _Fuck, did it feel good. He groaned and did it again. Maybe it would be okay if he allowed himself this. Not enough to come, but enough to stimulate himself a little. He couldn’t wait till he was back in his room. He just couldn’t. Not with Kairi looking like she did and reacting like she did and making the kinds of noises she did.

She clamped her thighs around him, and he grunted as he rubbed against her bed, desperate for anything that could relieve the ache a little. Going down on her alone was enough to get him dripping, and when he started stimulating himself too—

Her hips lifted off the bed a little as she came, and he moaned in frustration as he carried her through her climax, wanting it so badly for himself, too. As she settled back down, he gripped the sheets and humped her bed and tried not to let all of the emotions flooding through him overwhelm him. The last thing she needed to see was him breaking down crying because he was so frustrated.

Thankfully, she was staring at the ceiling right now as her breathing slowly went back to normal. He had enough time to pull it together before she—

“Sora, stop.”

He froze. “S-stop what?”

She sat up and looked at him. “Stop torturing yourself.” She reached for him and pulled him up beside her. “You’re shaking,” she said as she found his hand and rested hers on top of it. She gave him a look filled with pity and compassion, and he about lost it again.

“I’ll be fine, I just… need a few minutes, that’s all. We can cuddle here soon, I just… need some time.”

She shook her head. “No. It’s not fine. I never should’ve let you talk me into neglecting you like this in the first place. This ends tonight.”

She reached for his zipper, and he didn’t stop her. Didn’t stop her when she pulled his pants down and then his boxers, either. His dick was finally free, and the relief from that alone made him shudder.

“Okay, we can do this one of two ways,” she said softly. “You can touch yourself or I can touch you, but either way, you’re going to come. Unless… unless you don’t want this.”

He wasn’t sure how he felt about the first two options, especially the thought of getting himself off in front of her. But he also didn’t want to wait till he got back to his room to feel any sort of relief, either. 

“You want me to touch myself?” he finally said. “In front of you? Don’t you think that’s—”

She raised an eyebrow. “Gross? Disgusting? Not at all. In fact I…” She ducked her head, her face flushing a little. “I kinda wanna watch you.”

“Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say, really. 

She found his hand and brought it to his dick, glancing at his face to make sure this was okay. Then she moved his fingers up and down as he moaned softly. He was already slick with his arousal, and she smiled tenderly at him. 

“It’s okay, see? No darkness. Your body’s just doing what it’s always done before.”

He nodded and shut his eyes. If he could pretend she wasn’t watching, he could forget about his shame and embarrassment long enough to do what she had asked.

She lifted her hand, and he took over, stroking himself the way he had so many times before. Only this time he wasn’t alone. This time Kairi was watching. His eyes flew open and he stopped. Was this really—

She nodded, understanding what he was asking. “Keep going. I want to learn what kinds of touches you like. And what better way than to watch you touch yourself? No one knows your body better than you do.” She raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Though I hope that someday I can say _ I _know your body as well as you do. Maybe even better.”

He… he hoped that too. Closing his eyes again, he went back to stroking himself. Normally, this was the part where he’d fantasize about her to help himself along. But he didn’t have to, not when he knew she was sitting right next to him. That was more than enough to fuel his desires.

He worked up the courage to open his eyes again, and when he did, she was watching him closely, her own hand between her legs.

He stopped, his mouth dropping open. “K-Kairi?”

“Why’d you stop?” she asked, completely unashamed about what she was doing or that he’d seen her doing it. She reached for his hand and brought it back to his dick, and her fingers were slick with her arousal now, too. 

“Like this?” she said as she moved his hand the way she’d watched him do it.

“Y-yes.”

"Is it okay… if I try?” she asked shyly.

He nodded, and she took over. As she gently moved her hand up and down, Sora couldn’t help but stare. Holy shit, this was actually happening. He’d fantasized about this for years and it was actually happening. Her hand looked so small on his dick and she was stroking him, she was really stroking him. Not just touching him out of curiosity, but actually focusing all of her attention on him. Her fingers were still wet, too, wet from her arousal and now wet from his arousal as well, and it was the closest he’d felt to being inside her for weeks.

In other words, it felt incredible. But he knew himself. He knew it wouldn’t be enough to make him come, and he didn’t want Kairi to beat herself up about it if she couldn’t get him there.

He put his hand on hers and she glanced up. “Did I do something wrong?” she asked, her eyebrows knotting.

He shook his head and squeezed her hand, which gave him a little extra burst of pleasure. “Not at all. You’re doing great. Just… try using a little more pressure. My dick’s sensitive, yeah, but it won’t break that easily.”

She giggled. “Okay.” She stroked him some more, then hesitated and chewed her lip. “Will you show me how again?”

“Of course.” He rested his hand over hers as he guided her through the motions that felt good for him and told her the places that were the most sensitive. Doing that as he looked into her eyes was overwhelming, it was so intimate. He was telling her secrets he’d never shared with anyone about how his body worked, about how _ he _ worked, and to his relief she wasn’t laughing. She was taking this seriously, taking _ him _ seriously.

“Like this?” she said softly, taking over as he let go of her hand.

“Just like that.” He leaned back and sighed, letting himself relax into her touch. When she found the one spot underneath that felt really good, he couldn’t help himself. He let out a low moan. 

Her hand stopped moving. “That was really hot.”

He bit back a whine, because her stopping like that when before it had felt so good was driving him crazy. And her knowing smile just made it that much worse.

“Kairi, please,” he begged. He didn’t have to add anything to it. He was desperate for her touch and she knew it.

“If you insist,” she said with a grin, then started up again. Man, that felt _ good. _He made all sorts of embarrassing noises as she slid her fingers across his shaft and played with his balls and looked him in the eye with that sly grin of hers. 

She knew exactly what she was doing now, and she was enjoying every second of it. Touching himself, he usually felt dirty afterwards. But watching Kairi touch him… for some reason, it didn’t feel dirty. It just felt good.

And when he finally came, he was a mess of emotions. Trembling and shaking and groaning, feeling more relief than he had in weeks. It was one thing to feel physical relief, for the swelling and aching in his balls to finally subside. But it was another altogether to feel… whatever kind of relief this was, too. 

Kairi smiled as she grabbed a towel and gently cleaned him up. 

“See?” she said as she held it up. “No darkness.”

As soon as she had set it aside, he pulled her into his embrace. He’d thought he couldn’t love her any more than he did, but he’d been wrong. She was more precious to him now than ever, and his heart was knit so closely to hers he knew he would die without her. 

“Thank you,” was all he could say, but he hoped she understood. Hoped she got what he really meant.

When he went to bed that night, it was the first time in a long time he hadn’t gotten himself off first. There was no need. For once, he was utterly and completely satisfied, and it was all thanks to Kairi.

* * *

Kairi found herself back in the white room, seated at the table. Across from her was Naminé, and a slight smile graced her face as she pressed her fingers together.

“Kairi, I have some good news.”

“I do too,” she said, unable to stop herself from sharing her excitement. “Sora’s doing a lot better now, I can tell. His eyes are turning blue more often and he hasn’t had any darkness pouring out of him lately! He seems more and more like himself, too. He’s been teasing me and smiling and joking and _ laughing… _oh, Naminé, his laughter is so beautiful—”

Naminé’s eyes sparkled at the news. “Well, no wonder his heart’s doing so much better.”

“You mean, you can see the difference?”

She nodded. “It’s like it’s repairing itself. We thought we might have to get the missing parts back to him somehow, but maybe that’s not the case. Maybe he’ll heal on his own.” 

“Like… a Nobody growing a heart.”

It had happened before. Who was to say it couldn’t happen again?

“Yes. And do you know why it’s happening?”

“Oh, well, you know how Sora is, he’s always had the biggest heart of us all.”

“Mmmm, that might be part of it, but I don’t think it’s the whole story.” Naminé turned her attention to the sketchpad on the table in front of her, turning it around so Kairi could see what she’d drawn. It was the two of them dressed up for the Knight’s Festival, her in her blue dress and him in his guard uniform. 

“The Knight’s Festival played a role?”

Naminé smiled at that. “Yes, but you’re missing the bigger picture, Kairi,” she said as she tapped the drawing. “It’s you! You’re why he’s getting his heart back.”

Kairi ducked her head as a sinking feeling crept into her stomach and settled there. “O-oh. But I haven’t even been focused on the mission at all lately! I’ve been so distracted by… by _ him _and by our life here—”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Kairi, that’s exactly why he’s doing better. He’s starting to believe you’re staying with him because you want to, not just because you’re married to him or because you have your mission or whatever else.”

“I thought that was obvious,” she said as she fiddled with the ring on her finger. “I’ve been selfish lately, just taking and taking and taking from him without thinking about how to save him or get us home—”

“Well, first of all, we’re still working on bringing you home. The paths are much stronger now, and if Ven’s estimates are correct, it’ll only be a few more months of your time before the connection will be strong enough to form a complete bridge. We can project illusions of ourselves to you, but once it’s done, we’ll be able to fully reach you… and you’ll be able to come home.”

“Even Sora?”

Naminé pursed her lips. “Well, that’s the tricky thing. The bridge only works for beings with hearts. Full, complete hearts with darkness and light in balance.” She pressed her fingers together. “Well, except for you. You never had darkness in your heart, so yours is balanced as it is.”

“So what you’re saying is… Sora’s heart needs to be fully restored before he can come home.”

Naminé nodded. “That’s correct.”

Kairi thought about this for a few moments. “His biggest problem right now is that he sees himself as a monster. He doesn’t think he’s human anymore. If I could get him to see that he is… maybe that would help.”

“That’s the spirit. Whatever you do, though, make sure you do it with your whole heart.”

“With my whole heart,” Kairi echoed. “Got it. Thanks, Naminé.” She smiled sadly at her friend. “I can’t wait to see you in person. Tell everyone hi for me, okay?”

Naminé nodded. “Shall do. Till next time.”

With that she was gone, and when Kairi awoke, she grabbed a little notepad off of her bedside table. She already had a few ideas in mind from her earlier brainstorming session, and she wanted to write them down and see if they sparked any more. She was determined to get Sora to see he was human, and what better way to do that than to appeal to his body and heart at the same time? 

A smile tugged at her lips as she jotted down as many things as she could think of. When Alma came into her room later, she said, “Feel like going out into town today? There are a few things I need to buy.”

Alma smiled, a twinkle in her eye. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

Kairi showered and dressed as quickly as she could. She couldn’t wait to see how Sora would react to what she had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, fingering, oral sex (cunnilingus), mutual masturbation, Kairi gives Sora a handjob
> 
> Hello everyone! Thanks for the comments and kudos. Things are ramping up as Sora and Kairi get more comfortable with each other, and I wanted to explore how that impacts their intimacy, level of trust, and communication with each other. I really enjoyed writing the scene with Naminé and Kairi at the end as well; I wanted to show Kairi getting an outside perspective on the whole situation. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	22. Adored

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi didn’t answer her door the next morning.

Huh, weird. She usually did. Just as Sora was about to go find Octavius and ask if he knew where she was, Octavius found him in the hallway instead. The news that Kairi and Alma had gone on a shopping trip followed soon afterwards.

“A shopping trip? How come?”

Octavius shrugged. “Beats me. But remember those ambassadors that were here the other night? The ones you were talking about that treaty with?”

Sora nodded. “Yeah, what about them?”

Octavius handed him an official-looking envelope with a red seal. “This came in the mail for you.”

Sora opened the letter up, and it was an invitation to visit the world of Camelot for King Arthur’s Day. Peering at the fancy script, he did a double take to make sure he’d read it correctly.

“It’s tonight?”

“Guess so,” Octavius said as he peered over his shoulder.

“I gotta go,” Sora said as he tucked the invitation back into its crisp envelope. “We’ve been talking about that treaty for months now. This might be an indication that they finally want to sign it.” He put the envelope in his pocket and told Octavius to notify which of the nobles and officials would be coming with him.

“Aren’t you gonna ask Kairi… er, I mean… Her Majesty… to join you?” Octavius asked as he followed after Sora.

Sora shook his head. “Nah, I need her to stay and run the castle while I’m gone. She’s the only one I fully trust to do a good job. Not to be repeated, by the way.”

“My lips are sealed,” Octavius said with a snicker. “I’m sure Diana would rather be the one sitting on Kairi’s throne, and no need to give her any fresh ideas.”

“Exactly.” He turned and took a closer look at Octavius. “You know, sometimes I feel like I’ve met you somewhere before. You really seem to get how I think.” 

Octavius looked away and shrugged. “Déjà vu, probably. Happens to everyone.”

“You sure we didn’t meet somewhere when we were in the Realm of Light?” Sora asked, his eyes narrowing. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Octavius seemed familiar, somehow.

“It’s possible, but probably not. You’ve met a lot of people.”

With that, Octavius excused himself to make preparations. Sora thought back over his words. Maybe it would be nice to have Kairi come along with him sometime. But not this time. It was too last minute, and he really did need her to watch over Mare Caelestis while he was gone.

The trip went pretty well. King Arthur’s Day was a blast, and the government of Camelot agreed to sign the tax treaty. The final negotiations for that took another week, and by the end of it, Sora was getting antsy. Eight whole days without seeing Kairi felt like torture now that they were together all the time. Before, being away for such a short period would’ve been a dream come true, but now, more than a few days away from her was bordering on too many.

The final day, the officials of Camelot invited him to play the traditional sports of their world as a send-off, archery and then hunting on horseback. The fox they were after oh so conveniently happened to escape, what a shame. The real story was that Sora couldn’t bear to let the poor thing be killed for sport like that. And truth be told, he knew Kairi wouldn’t forgive him if he let it be killed, either. 

He came back to Mare Caelestis late. All that effort saving the fox on top of the usual exertion that came with a day of exercise left him an aching, sweaty mess. When he walked by Kairi’s room, though, he knocked on her door. It had been over a week, and he wanted to see her and hold her.

“Sora! You’re back!” she said as she opened the door and threw her arms around him. 

He buried his face in her shoulder and breathed deeply as he hugged her back. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

She was here in his arms, and all was right in the worlds again.

“Here, come in,” she said as she found his hand and brought him into her room. She wrapped her robe more tightly around her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I… I heard you were coming back, so I drew up a bath for you. You don’t have to take one, but—”

“I’d be happy to. Thank you, Kairi.”

He kissed her forehead, then went into her bathroom. She’d already set aside an extra set of towels for him, and as he lowered himself into the hot water, he sighed deeply. She’d put some sort of soap or something in the water that smelled really good and had made a lot of bubbles, and he felt like a kid again as he tried to make a bunch of them pop. 

“Sora?” came her voice, and he stopped to listen.

“Yeah?”

“If you need me for anything, I’ll be here in my room.”

He hesitated. A part of him wanted to invite her to join him, but…

“Thanks, I shouldn’t be too much longer,” he replied.

He scrubbed himself from head to toe after that. Considering how she’d touched him the other night, he had the feeling she might want to do something similar again. The bath was probably even a polite hint that she wanted him clean for tonight’s activities. 

The question was… was he okay with that? Sure, no darkness had come out of him lately, but that was no guarantee it wouldn’t tonight. 

He looked in the faucet and saw his golden eyes staring back and cursed them. Cursed them for stealing his joy, cursed them for making it so difficult to be intimate with Kairi. Cursed the darkness and wished it was never there to begin with.

He climbed out of the tub and let himself drip onto her bath mat for a few moments as he stared at himself in the mirror. What she saw in him, he didn’t know. He shuddered and wrapped a towel around his waist to dry off before he realized he didn’t have a change of clothes. 

“Kairi?” he called.

“Yes?”

“I don’t have any spare clothes with me.”

“I know. I can send for some if you want me to. I was just hoping we could… spend some time together first.”

As he suspected. She  _ did _ want something to happen tonight.

He cracked open the door, and she was fixing her hair in the vanity mirror. She turned to look at him, her expression softening.

“Actually, I do have a pair of sweatpants I think will fit you. And one of your hoodies I stole. Shouldn’t be too difficult to—”

“That won’t be necessary,” he said softly. “Not right now, anyway.”

Her face turned pink. “Good.” 

She turned back to the mirror to put the finishing touches on… something. Sora wasn’t really sure. He just went back into the bathroom and grabbed one of the other towels so he could dry his hair as best he could. 

After he’d carefully hung the towel over a free towel bar, he walked back out to join her. He opened his mouth to say something when her robe slipped off her shoulders and gathered in a pile at her feet.

Underneath she was wearing the sexiest thing he’d ever seen her wear. It was actual lingerie, pink with black trimming and stockings and heels to match. Other than her Christmas underwear, he’d never really seen her wear anything like this before. And there was a cute little bow on both the bra and underwear. Sexy but still Kairi.

“Do you… like it?” she asked, smiling shyly.

“Like it? Kairi, I love it,” he said as he let his eyes roam over her body. The things he wanted to do to get that lingerie off of her… 

But then he remembered he was in just a towel and his hair was still damp, and he kinda wished he’d known she had something like this up her sleeve. He never really felt attractive anymore, not with the darkness, but right now he felt even less so than usual. 

“Good,” she said. “Because tonight… tonight, I’m going to take care of you.”

“Huh?”

She walked over to him and found his hand, then wove their fingers together.

“Sora,” she said softly, “I don't want you to be ashamed of your body. You’re beautiful, and you make me feel beautiful, too. So tonight, let me take care of you for once. Please.”

He stared at her for a few moments, then finally nodded. He couldn’t understand why she wanted to, but… 

She kicked her shoes off, then stood on her tiptoes and guided his lips to hers. She kissed him slowly, languidly, her fingers weaving into his hair and stroking his head as his arms went around her.

She leaned back a little to give him a kiss on the nose. “Have I ever told you… you have great hair?” she asked as she massaged his scalp.

“I don’t think you have.”

“Well, you do, and shame on me for never saying so.” She ruffled it and played with it, giggling as she did. “I can’t get over how messy it is. It’s like you don’t even have to do anything, it’s just naturally like that.”

“Yeah.” It was just his hair though. He had never thought of it as being… attractive, really. It was just another part of him. It had always been there, and he figured it probably always would be.

“I remember, when you and Riku popped out of the water when you came home, you looked like a wet cat there for a few moments. Then your hair was back to its usual spikiness in record time.”

“You… remember that?”

“‘Course I do, silly. That’s one of my favorite memories. You running to me like that with the biggest smile on your face.” She paused and brushed her thumb over his lips. “You’ve got such a beautiful smile.”

His heart beat faster. “You really think so?”

She kissed him again. “I know so. And your eyes… when I look into them, it’s like I can see right into your soul.”

She was okay with his eyes? Even though they weren’t their natural color anymore?

“And what do you see when you do?” he said softly, almost afraid to hear her answer.

“I see  _ you, _ Sora. I see your heart.”

She kissed his chest, her lips soft and warm on his skin. She looked up into his eyes and murmured, “That’s for taking good care of my heart when I lost my body.” Then she kissed him again, more slowly this time, stroking his skin as she did. 

“And that kiss?” he asked, barely above a whisper.

“It was for your sacrifice. Your first sacrifice. The princess hasn’t forgotten that one, either.”

“Then the princess should know… the knight would do it again for her,” he said, bringing his hand to her face.

Her eyes filled with tears as she placed her hand over his. “She does know.” She grabbed his hand and kissed it, then found his other hand and did the same. 

“That’s for always being so gentle with me,” she said. Then she leaned closer and kissed his arms, one after the other. “And that’s for all the times you’ve held me and kept me safe.”

She moved behind him and kissed his shoulders. “That’s to ease the burdens you have to bear.” She paused to massage his shoulders for a moment, and then he felt her lips on his back where the scaffolding had collapsed on top of him. “And that’s for always shielding me from harm.”

She kept kissing him, and he felt her arms circle around his waist. She found the towel and untucked it, and his hands jumped to hers.

“It’s okay,” she murmured against his skin. “It’s okay.” 

He relented, and in another moment the towel was on the ground and she was kissing a trail down his back, going lower and lower until—

He gasped, and she just giggled. “What? You have a cute butt.”

He buried his face in his hands. “Kairi, you don’t have to do this.”

“But I want to. If you don’t want me to, I’ll stop, but—”

“No, it’s not that, I just… you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to act like every inch of me is attractive or something.”

She was quiet for several moments. “But it’s not an act,” she finally said, her voice low. “I really do think you’re attractive.”

“I don’t know why. I look in the mirror and all I can see is the darkness and how ugly it makes me.”

“Then stop looking at yourself the way you see you, and see yourself the way I see you instead.”

“Kairi—”

He felt her lips on first one thigh and then the other thigh. “Thank you for carrying Sora on all his quests to find me again.” Then she ran her hands over his calves and kissed them. “And thank you for fueling so many of my teenage fantasies.”

He felt his face flushing red. “You had a thing for my calves?”

That actually… made a whole lot of sense. Yep, a lot of things were clicking into place right now. A lot of things he’d been too oblivious to see back then.

“‘Had’ would imply I don’t anymore,” she teased as she stroked them some more.

“What… sorts of fantasies?”

“Mmmm, all sorts of things a Princess of Heart shouldn’t say out loud.”

Damn, now he really wanted to know though. “Anything you wanna tell me?”

“Later. You come first.”

She turned him around and he covered himself out of instinct. There was nothing beautiful about his dick, and if she pretended otherwise—

Her hands went around his wrists. “May I?” she asked, her voice gentle. And looking down at her kneeling at his feet, looking up into his eyes—

He nodded, and even though she’d seen him before, he felt more vulnerable than he ever had as she slowly peeled his hands away. He was naked, and there was nothing standing between her and his raw desire for her anymore. It was obvious and ugly and hanging there, right in front of her face. 

And then she leaned forward and kissed him. Because of course she would. It was like she had just sent an electric jolt all the way through his body. And of course it made him get harder. Of course it did.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said as she gently stroked him, her fingers encouraging his erection. “That you’re ugly and that this part of you is the ugliest of all. But you’re wrong. It’s beautiful, too. It’s beautiful for showing me how much you desire me. It’s beautiful for giving me so much pleasure. It’s beautiful for making me feel sexy. And… it’s beautiful for being a part of you.”

She kissed him again, and he twitched and moaned. She looked up and grinned as she worked him some more. 

“See? You’re beautiful. You’re desirable. And your wife would very much like to try going down on you.”

He stared at her. She had just kissed his entire body and had told him how beautiful every inch of him was. She’d somehow made him feel desirable again, despite all the ugliness inside him. And now she was kneeling at his feet, her breath warm on the wet tip of his twitching dick, offering to give him head with a smile on her face like she actually wanted to do this.

“If you really—”

“Yes,” she said. “Yes, I do. The question is, do  _ you _ want this?”

He looked away. “Yes,” he finally admitted. “Only… let’s move to the bed. I think it’ll be more comfortable for us both.”

She found his hand, and he helped her up and led her to the bed. He sat on the edge of it, and she kneeled beneath him. He couldn’t help but stare at her, decked out in her lingerie, dressed up just for him, eager to please him.

What had he ever done to deserve this?

She took him in her hand again and started stroking. "Tell me what feels good, okay? Teach me how to please you.” 

He was too overwhelmed to speak, so he nodded and caressed her cheek. She shot him a grin and then went down, her tongue teasing his tip and then working its way across his shaft. She did this for a little while, going back and forth and back and forth before taking him fully into her mouth. His breath hitched when she did. Fuck, that felt good. She slid her lips across his skin, and he let out a low moan. She paused to gaze up at him. The look in her eyes made him weak, and he clutched the sheets as she repeated the movement. 

He directed her as best he could. It took time, and there were definitely some awkward moments, like when her teeth got involved. He had to stop her and explain why that didn’t feel good, and that was so embarrassing for them both that he wanted to bury himself under her blankets and never come out. But she apologized profusely, and he was quick to reassure her that it was okay, they were in this together and he was just grateful she was doing this for him.

She worked up the courage to try again, and he gave her the go-ahead. The second attempt was much more successful. With his help, she figured things out well enough to reduce him to a moaning, squirming wreck, and he wondered who was more into this, her or him. She seemed to be enjoying it as much as he was, looking up at him every now and then with that look in her eyes.

Her jaw got tired at one point, and she took a break and switched to stroking him again as she recovered.

“How am I doing?” she asked. “And please, don’t be afraid to give me details.”

“You’re doing amazing.” He paused, trying to think about what it was exactly he’d liked so much. “I liked it when you looked in my eyes.”

“Like I was in control? Like I was enjoying myself?”

“Yes.” But there was no way it felt as good for her as it did for him. He told her as much, and she raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe the physical sensations don’t, but feeling you get harder in my mouth? Hearing you moan and looking into your eyes and knowing _ I’m _ the one bringing you so much pleasure?” She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned. “That feels pretty good.”

Gulp. She lowered her head, running her tongue across him and covering him in gentle kisses. Then she took him in her mouth again and got back to work. She was careful to do what he’d suggested earlier, and man was it working.

“Just like that,” he said, his voice dripping with pleasure. His body was quivering as he felt himself get close, and he started thrusting into her mouth a little, it felt so good.

Hold on. They hadn’t discussed where she wanted him to finish. Sure, he hadn’t had any issues with darkness lately, and he wasn’t feeling out of control right now, but still. Finishing in her mouth would still be a risk. He wasn’t gonna last much longer, and he had to warn her. 

“Kairi—” he choked out, his voice strained. She looked up at him again and winked, then kept going. And that was all it took. That little knowing look was enough to push him past his inhibitions and over the edge into pure bliss. He came, each pulse accompanied by a powerful burst of pleasure. She kept her mouth around him the whole time, which just made it feel that much better.

Spasms shook his body, and he collapsed back onto the bed and panted for air as she let him slip out of her mouth and tried to swallow. Her eyes watered and she made a few weird noises, but she did it in the end.

That was incredible. She was incredible. And after she’d swallowed and he wasn’t too sensitive, she licked him clean, making sure that not even a drop was left. She glanced up and smiled afterwards, and that was it. He had to do something to thank her. He pulled her into his arms and tried to kiss her, but not without a brief protest on her end.

“Wait, shouldn’t I wash my—” 

He didn’t care. He kissed her anyway. Kissed her deeply and tasted himself. It wasn’t the best taste in the world, but it was free of darkness, and that was what mattered. He hadn’t hurt her. He hadn’t filled her with darkness. Just his come, and the fact that she’d swallowed it for him was both arousing and humbling.

They snuggled in bed afterwards, Sora still in awe over what had just happened. He wrapped himself around her and planted kisses on her cheeks and neck and hair.

“So, the teeth incident aside, I’m guessing I did a good job?” she said, smirking at her stupid pun. 

“Yes.” He kissed her again. “That was amazing.” He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. “I’ll… try to eat more fruit next time, sorry.” 

She giggled. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It wasn’t that bad.” She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned. “But… it’s awfully bold of you to assume there  _ will  _ be a next time.”

He stilled at that. “Sorry, I—”

She bopped his nose. “Kidding! Of course there will be a next time.”

He brought her closer. He was still naked, but… he didn’t really feel ashamed anymore, even though she was (sort of) clothed and he was not. He just felt happy and content. 

“Kairi?”

“Yeah?”

“From the bottom of my heart… thank you. Thank you for doing this for me.”

She nestled into the crook of his neck. “Anything for you, Sora.”

He was still recovering, but it wouldn’t be fair to ignore her needs. To his frustration, though, she swatted his hands away when he tried.

“But Kairi, don’t you want me to—”

“Nope! I told you, didn’t I? Tonight’s about you. We’re going to cuddle now, and then you’re going to do the walk of shame back to your room wearing my sweatpants and one of your stolen hoodies. Which I’ll want back, by the way.”

He had to laugh at that. “Okay, okay. Your wish is my command.”

They cuddled some more, and a part of Sora wished that she  _ had _ invited him to spend the night with her. But she hadn’t, and he had no right to ask. She’d given him so much already, and the risk was still too high as it was, anyway. 

As she watched him slip on the pair of sweatpants she’d given him afterwards, she shook her head and sighed. “It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?” he asked as he pulled the hoodie over his head.

“You have such a good butt and you don’t even appreciate it.” She swatted him and winked. “Keep the sweatpants. You fill them out better than I ever could.”

He glanced down. “These show my calves, too. You planned this, didn’t you?”

She gave him an innocent look. “Me? Plan something? Never.”

“Ha ha, very funny. You are the master schemer, and no one can convince me otherwise.”

He kissed her forehead, and she threw her arms around him and clung to him.

“Kai, what is it?” he said as he ran his hands up and down her back.

“I just…” She trailed off and gripped him tighter. “Thank you, for always being so strong for me. What you did tonight was very brave, even if you don’t see it like that.”

He hugged her tighter too. “I was only brave because you were with me. Because  _ you _ were brave. What I told you before hasn’t changed.” Pulling away a little to look into her eyes, he repeated the words he’d said to her so long ago. “I feel strong with you, Kairi.” 

As he settled into bed that night, still wearing her sweatpants and his hoodie because they smelled like her, he sighed deeply. 

She really was a wonder. She could make even a monster feel human again.

* * *

Sora opened his eyes as his feet hit the ground, then glanced around. He was at his Station of Awakening. He hadn’t been here in ages. It had changed since the last time, too. Not as many jagged, mangled points from where his light had been torn out of him. In fact, another light, a new light, had replaced many of the parts that had been damaged or destroyed.

His heart was repairing itself. He was becoming whole again. And taking up a significant portion of those new spaces, looking as beautiful as always as the light shone and flickered through the glasslike floor, was a very important person.

“Kairi.”

The floor glowed brighter, and he smiled. Of course. No wonder he was feeling better. The monster was slowly dying. Kairi was helping him become human again. 

Still, he had one question. “Why am I here?”

This place… it was close to death. And… he didn’t want to die. He wanted to live. 

“Sora.”

He whirled around to see another familiar face. 

“Ven! What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Ven said. “I haven’t seen you in months! This must mean… there’s enough light in your heart now for me to reach you.” He glanced around. “Your heart certainly looks better.” His eyes landed on the Kairi portion of the floor beneath them and grinned. “I think I know why.” 

Sora groaned and rested his head in his hand. “Is it that obvious?”

Ven chuckled. “From someone who lived in your heart for over a decade… it’s always been that obvious.” 

“Well, she is helping me. That has to be why my heart looks like it does, right?”

“That’s part of it, but that’s not all of it. Sora, you still love her, don’t you?”

Sora said nothing, just turned away from Ven and stared off into the inky darkness. 

“I… I didn’t think it was possible. No, it shouldn’t be possible. My heart was supposed to be ruined beyond repair. I was a lost cause. And yet… she stuck with me. She stayed with me. That was when I realized, even a broken heart can still love.”

“Of course it can. But do you know if she loves you back?”

Sora’s shoulders slumped. “Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t. What matters is that I love her and promised to take care of her. And I’m gonna keep that promise.” 

“Sora,” Ven said, and his voice was very gentle, “it’s okay to want to be loved. It’s okay to want her to love you.”

“How could she love someone like me? I’ve changed. I’m not the guy she grew up with.”

Even as he said the words, though, he thought about what had happened between them earlier tonight. Thought about her doing everything she could to make him feel treasured and adored. Would she really have done all that if some part of her, deep down, didn't care for him?

He knew the answer to that. His doubt was just a defense mechanism. His darkness was afraid. It didn’t like that Kairi was getting through to him. It didn’t like that he was letting her in.

“I’m not the guy she grew up with,” he repeated, “and that’s okay. I’m still worth loving.”

He watched as a little more of his heart was restored. Light flew to the damaged areas, and when it had faded, new sparkling glass of all different colors was in its place. He put a hand over his chest, and it felt better. Lighter. 

“Sounds like Roxas’s advice is finally getting through to you,” Ven said with a grin. “Took you long enough.”

“Hey now,” Sora warned, but it was a playful warning.

“Seriously though, Sora. You’re not alone. You have friends that care.”

“I know.” 

“Good. And before I go… I’ll leave you with one last piece of advice: I think you should tell Kairi how you feel.”

“Tell Kairi… how I feel?” Sora chuckled nervously. “Surely she knows by now—”

Ven gave him a pointed look. “You know the difference between actions and words, loverboy. Your actions are all telling her you love her, but she needs to hear you say it, too.”

Ugh, why was Ven always right about this kind of stuff?

“Sora, what are you so afraid of?” Ven asked, more gently this time. 

“That she doesn’t love me,” Sora admitted, surprised at his own honesty.

Ven raised an eyebrow. “I thought you just said that doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter,” Sora said, sighing deeply. “She means everything to me.”

“And I get that. Telling her how you feel is a huge risk. But you have to be willing to try.”

“Yeah.”

When the time was right, he would tell her. It just had to be natural. It had to come from his heart. 

Ven started fading in and out, and he gave Sora a sad smile.

“Well, I think the connection is fading. If you’ve got any last things you wanna tell me, now’s the time to do it.”

“Thanks for coming to see me, Ven. Tell everyone I say hi. Tell them I miss them.” He frowned as he remembered something. “Oh, and tell Naminé to stay out of my memories. But word it more nicely than that.” 

If first Roxas and now Ven could reach him, who else could too? He couldn’t risk Naminé finding out the full story of what happened that fateful day. Because if she found out, she could tell Kairi, and if Kairi found out, it would ruin everything.

“Luckily for you, she still can’t access your memories,” Ven said. “And she doesn’t like snooping around anyway. But point taken, and I’ll deliver your other message, too.”

“Thanks. It was good to see you, Ven. I really miss you.”

“Miss you too, Sora. We’re all rooting for you and Kairi. Hang in there.”

With that, Ven was gone. But when Sora woke up the next morning, he knew just what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, kissing, body worship, oral sex (blowjob)
> 
> Hello everyone! Thanks for the comments and kudos. This chapter was one of my favorites to write, just because it was such an interesting contrast between the physicality of what was happening between them and the tender, heartfelt feelings that resulted. I don't know how Sora and Kairi always manage to do it, but they make everything they touch wholesome somehow, even scenarios where I didn't think that was even possible initially. 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing the scene with Ven and Sora at the end as well; much like how last week focused on Kairi and Naminé and Kairi getting an outside perspective, I wanted to show Sora getting an outside perspective on the whole situation, too. And admitting to someone else that he still loves Kairi (as if there was any doubt, haha), which will be important for him moving forward. 
> 
> Can you believe it? We've made it past the 100,000 word mark! Hope you've enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	23. Pierced by Cupid's Arrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi woke up to a knocking on her door.

“Come in, Alma.”

The door burst open, but it wasn’t her lady-in-waiting who came in. No, it was her husband, and he flung himself onto her bed and wrapped his arms around her in a way that was a lot like an enthusiastic puppy.

“S-Sora?” she asked, wide awake now as they rolled around on the bed.

“I couldn’t wait to see you,” he said as he settled on top of her. Her hair was still a mess, she had morning breath, and her voice was thick, and yet he was smiling down at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the worlds.

She just grinned and shook her head. “Has it been eight hours since you last did?”

“Eight hours too many.”

His lips found hers, and he made out with her like they did when they first started dating, sloppy and wet and excited. It wasn’t long before his hands roamed across her body and settled on her pajama shorts.

“Okay, my turn to dote on you,” he murmured, then yanked them down. Her underwear followed soon after, and she giggled.

“Sora, you know how I get after you go down on me! My legs will be jelly!”

“Trust me, I know,” he teased. “But I want to do this for you.” He gently parted her legs so he could kiss her inner thighs. “Let me serve you this morning, please.” 

She ran her fingers through his hair. How could she say no when she wanted this too?

“Okay. It has been a while, hasn’t it?”

“More than a little while, over a week!” he said with a pout.

“You missed this that much, huh?”

“I missed  _ you _ this much, you mean.” He kissed her belly before looking up into her eyes. “I just have one request.” 

“What is it?”

“Could you take your top off too? I want to see you. All of you.”

She nodded and removed her pajama top. She felt vulnerable, lying naked before him while he was dressed… but she supposed he’d felt the same last night.

He smiled as he took in her body, then began. By the time he was through with her, her legs were jelly, just like she’d predicted. He crawled up next to her and held her as she recovered, murmuring tender things to her as she clung to him. 

“That was wonderful, thank you,” she said when she’d recovered enough to speak, then figured now was as good a time as any to ask about what was weighing on her mind. “Sora, last night, I wanted you to feel sexy. Did you?”

He leaned back a little, and his cheeks were flushed and his eyes tender. “Yeah, I did. Thank you.”

“Is there… is there anything else I can do to make you feel sexy? Anything you’ve fantasized about or imagined?”

He chuckled. “Beloved, I don’t think you know what you’re asking. Where do I even begin? I’ve had years to imagine what we could do together.”

She giggled, pleased to hear him admit as much. “Okay, silly, we don’t have to try everything just yet. Let’s start with something simple and work our way up from there.”

He found her hand and wove their fingers together. “Okay, how about this. Tease me throughout the day. Show me you desire me. Be willing to scandalize a few stuffy nobles.” 

“I can do that.”

“And… if it’s okay with you, I’ll do the same.”

“Please do.”

They snuggled for a little while longer, then he gathered her in his arms and carried her to the bathroom because she was still a little wobbly. After he’d gently lowered her into the tub, he started running the water, then leaned over to give her a kiss.

“Enjoy the bath, beloved.”

With that he was gone, and Kairi leaned her head back and sighed. What a wonderful way to start the day. One night spent showing him how she felt about him, and he was already returning it with so much affection and adoration that it took her breath away.

After her bath, she put on an outfit that was still befitting a queen but that would be good for teasing Sora, a cute yellow blouse with a knee-length white skirt. The shoes matched her blouse, and the blouse had a built-in bra… but she didn’t have any underwear on. He was sure to like that surprise. 

On her way back from breakfast, she was walking down the hall, already thinking of more ways to tease him, when a hand shot out from a nearby closet and pulled her inside. It was dark and cramped, and she was about to ask what on earth was going on when Sora pressed his lips against hers. She moaned and kissed him back, and then his arousal pressed into her as his hands roamed her body. When he slid his hand up her skirt and realized she wasn’t wearing any underwear, he groaned and started fingering her. 

This was it. They were going to have sex in this tiny dark closet, and Kairi was going to enjoy every moment of it. 

But as suddenly as he’d begun, he pulled back. She whimpered at the loss of contact, at the loss of his warmth. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he murmured in her ear, then nibbled it, making her yelp. He chuckled and turned the light on, then brought his fingers to his lips and licked them, savoring her taste as he stared into her eyes.

She had to steady herself against the wall, and with that he left her alone, positively disheveled, with one last husky promise of, “See you later.”

Her heart was pounding as she tried to collect herself. Who was this Sora and what had he done with the old one? Had he been holding himself back all this time? 

She smoothed her skirt and straightened her blouse and fixed her hair, then took a deep breath and exited the closet. Maybe not wearing any underwear had been a mistake. With her luck everyone would be able to see how much she desired him.

It didn’t get any easier, either, because he was determined to make good on his word to tease her. After lunch, he pulled her around the corner, and she was already flushing with anticipation.

“This is to get you nice and ready for tonight,” he murmured. He stole a glance around them, then pinned her arms over her head with one hand and kissed her with abandon. His other hand slid up her blouse, and he was very appreciative of the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. He fondled her boobs and kissed them and played with them till her legs were jelly again. It was a good thing he had her arms pinned over her head, because otherwise she would be in a pile on the ground right now.

In fact, when he finally released her, she stumbled forward and he had to catch her. Which he did easily, and with a chuckle, too. 

“You think you’re having trouble now? You really won’t be able to walk after I’m through with you tonight,” he teased.

She just stared at him all wide-eyed and flustered, and he grabbed her face so he could press a quick kiss to her lips before running away again. She leaned back against the wall and swallowed, feeling utterly teased and wound up. So much so that by the time she made her way to their final meeting of the day, she was a horny dripping mess.

“Kairi? You okay?” he asked as he paused with his hands on the door of the meeting room.

“Oh, I’m fine, I just… keep thinking about you—”

He glanced around, then strode over and pulled her into his arms and kissed her till she was swooning.

“Better?” he asked when he finally pulled away. She had to grab a hold of his arm to steady herself.

“Worse,” she whimpered. “How am I supposed to make it through the meeting now?”

“By knowing your husband is just as desperate and horny for you as you are for him.”

Her cheeks flushed and she buried her face in her hands. “Not helping!”

He laughed and gently tugged at her hands. “Hey, look on the bright side. You’re not the one who’s gonna have to hide a boner from a bunch of stodgy old dudes and scandalized ladies.”

“Good thing the meeting will probably be so boring it’ll kill your boner anyway,” she said with a giggle, then brought her hand to his crotch. The look in his eyes as she gave him a quick squeeze made her smirk. Payback was a beautiful thing.

He leaned in close to whisper in her ear, “It’s too bad I can’t bend you over that table over there and fuck you senseless, isn’t it?”

Her mouth dropped open and she laughed. “Goodness, Your Majesty, I didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth!”

“No, it’s clean,” he reassured her with a wink. “Clean for my beloved.”

She went on ahead of him because otherwise they were never going to get this meeting started. When he finally joined them, she smiled sweetly, reveling in the knowledge of what they’d shared earlier as she glanced from his crotch back up to his eyes. He sat down very quickly after that, and she had to choke back a snicker. 

When his eyes met hers again, the message was clear: she was going to pay for that. She was going to pay for that, and they were both going to enjoy it very much.

The meeting was a pain, but after what felt like hours of agony, it was finally over. They walked to dinner together, and right outside the dining room, Sora stopped and turned to her. Her heart sped up, her imagination going wild wondering what he was going to do to her next.

He wrapped his arms around her and planted a chaste kiss on her lips. 

Really? That was it?

“Remember what you always told me? I need to eat my dinner before I can have my dessert,” he said with an angelic smile, then went into the dining room, leaving her staring after him.

She was trembling now, trembling because she wanted him so badly she was on the verge of tears, and how  _ dare  _ he be so hot when he was torturing her. How dare he. 

Was this what she had been missing all along? What they both had been missing?

At least dinner was nice and helped her calm down, since Sora had apparently decided to give her a respite from his merciless teasing. Or so she thought, but then Marcus served them a special pudding made out of Mare Caelestis’s famous oranges for dessert. It was a secret recipe that Priscilla’s family had passed down for generations. 

“Enjoy!” Marcus said. “And, um, if you don’t mind—”

“It’s okay,” Kairi said with a smile as she exchanged glances with Sora. “We can clean up our dishes just this once.”

“Exactly,” Sora added, a twinkle in his eye. “Now go see Lygia.”

Never had Marcus bolted so quickly from the room, and the two of them laughed as they watched him go.

“Well,” Sora said once they were alone, “now that he’s gone, I can eat my pudding exactly the way I want to.”

He picked up his spoon and scooped up some of the pudding. When his eyes met hers, he gave her a devilish grin, then lifted the spoon to his lips and moaned as the tasty dessert made contact with his mouth. 

Gulp. 

“Oh, Kairi, this tastes so good.” His eyes fluttered shut for a few moments as he sighed, and she felt her face getting hot. He slid the spoon out of his mouth, slowly, laboriously, not missing a single speck of pudding.

He grinned and scooped up another spoonful as she watched. His tongue darted out to lick the pudding off the spoon this time, and when their eyes met, she whimpered and crossed her legs.

“Aren’t you gonna eat any?” he murmured, casually, lazily. “It’s really good. You should try it.”

She cleared her throat and picked up her spoon, being careful to avoid his eyes as she dug in. When she tasted it, she could see what he meant. It really was good, some combination of orange and vanilla smoothly blended into a creamy whole. 

“See?” he said. “Told you so. Dessert tastes truly wonderful tonight.”

She nearly choked on her spoon with the way he said that. She tried her best to eat her pudding after she had collected herself. But with the way Sora was moaning and sighing and expertly working his tongue to lick up every last drop of that pudding, all while casting teasing glances her way, it was nearly impossible to concentrate. 

By the time he was through, she was sure there was going to be a wet spot on her chair when she stood. It felt like a flood down there, and he hadn’t so much as touched her. He’d always enjoyed teasing and joking with her, but today… today was a combination she hadn’t run across before. A Sora who teased her about sex and enjoyed it. 

What was more… she enjoyed it, too.

After they’d taken their pudding cups to the kitchen and had explained to Priscilla that yes, they’d given Marcus permission to leave early, Sora scooped her into his arms and carried her to her room, not even caring about the whispers and giggles from the people they passed.

“And now we make love,” he said with a huge grin once the door was safely closed behind them and he’d lowered her to the bed.

“Is that a royal decree?” she teased as he helped her remove her blouse.

“Only if my queen wishes it.” As he slipped her skirt down, he raised an eyebrow. “Sure seems like she does.” 

He held her skirt up, and sure enough, there was a wet spot on it. She giggled and draped her legs over his shoulders.

“That’s what you get for teasing me all day. Now shut up and get to work.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. He put his lips and fingers and tongue to good use, and she basked in the attention. She was so wound up already from his teasing that it wasn’t long at all before he was carrying her through her first climax. When she’d calmed down a little, he continued, and her second climax followed soon afterwards, leaving her satisfied and content.

She wrapped her legs around him and stroked his hair. He was resting with his head on her chest now so he could listen to her heartbeat. And because he just really liked her boobs. He started kissing one of them, and she kissed his head.

“You spoil me, my king.”

“You deserve to be spoiled, beloved.”

“And so do you. Clothes off before you get blue balls, if you don’t have them already.”

Sure enough, his dick was turning a concerning shade of purple, and his balls looked swollen and tender. She gently cupped them, making him groan. Whether it was from pain or from pleasure, she wasn’t entirely sure. 

“Sora, what did I tell you about us neglecting your needs?”

He avoided her eyes. “Okay, maybe I went a little overboard with the teasing…”

“For me or for you?”

“…both. Still, today was pretty great, don’t you think?”

That she could agree with. “Yes. And it’s about to get better.” 

She started stroking his dick, her fingers feather light, and he was so sensitive even that made him squirm. She smiled and gently tickled his balls, and when she added her mouth and tongue to the teasing, he was already dripping. 

Trying to remember as much of what he’d told her the night before as she could, she fully took him into her mouth. The blowjob that followed was slow and relaxed. She wanted to make this as good as possible for him. But hearing him moan, watching him writhe, feeling him get harder in her mouth, seeing him revel in the pleasure she was giving him, she realized something. 

She wanted his dick, and she wanted it now. So she let him slip out of her mouth and stroked his chest in the hopes he would calm down.

“Kairi?” he asked weakly, clearly confused by what was happening.

“I want you, Sora,” she told him, not caring that she sounded whiny. “I want you inside me. Please. You haven’t had any issues with your darkness for weeks, and I’ve been able to control my light okay, too.” 

He was silent for a few moments, and her heart sank. He was going to say no, wasn’t he?

“How do you want me?”

Her heart pounded. What?

“How do you want me, beloved?” he repeated, cupping her cheek. A smile spread across his face as she realized he was saying yes. She kissed him and climbed on top of him, and his laughter that followed was so beautiful.

“Guess I have my answer. Enjoy the ride.” 

As she lowered herself onto his cock, she savored the sensation of feeling him again. Of having him inside her. Of being one with him. This was what she had craved, and she was going to make the most of it.

She started slow because she knew he was so wound up already. Closing her eyes, she focused on her rhythm, on keeping things steady and even so he could last. Soon he was moving with her, and when she opened her eyes, he was watching… and clearly enjoying… the view.

She leaned forward till their chests were touching, and he seemed to enjoy that very much. Then she sat back up again and grabbed his hands, bringing them to her boobs so he could play with them. Oh, he really enjoyed that, and so did she. She was getting close, it wouldn’t be long now before—

Sora rolled them over till he was on top, and he took deep breaths to calm himself. 

“Sorry, I was getting too close,” he told her. 

“It’s okay. It wasn’t the darkness though, right?”

She hadn’t sensed any, she just had to make sure. Besides, now was probably as good a time as any to take a quick break so he could recover.

“Right. Speaking of which, if you ever sense my darkness, say the word light, and I’ll know to stop. And if I ever sense my darkness, I’ll do the same so you know to stop.”

“Got it. If shouting that in the middle of sex won’t kill the mood, I don’t know what will.”

“Light,” he teased as he nuzzled her neck. “Light, light, light.”

She giggled. “Okay, you really are going to kill the mood, you dork.”

He just grinned at her. “What? You’re my light, Kairi. Without you, I’d be lost. Makes sense for that to be the word that’ll protect you too, don’t you think?”

“What I think is that my very sexy husband has his cock buried deep inside me right now, and if he doesn’t move it soon, his wife is going to take matters into her own hands.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Both. Now get moving, mister.”

He did, but it was so he could kiss her deeply. And when he continued their lovemaking, instead of the playfulness they’d enjoyed earlier, his movements were slow, tender. She wrapped her legs around him as her body moved in rhythm with his, urging him deeper. The dim light enhanced her other senses, made her notice his scent and respond to his every touch. The evening breeze blowing in from outside cooled the sweat off their bodies, but he was still so warm.

He sped up his pace, like something deep inside him was urging him on. He felt truly exquisite as he thrust into her again and again. The only sound in the room was their bodies coming together, apart, together, apart. His weight gently pressed down on her and held her there, and she whimpered as he hit just the right spot.

His eyes met hers, and everything she was feeling was laid bare before him. Never had she felt so vulnerable; never had he seemed so powerful. Or was she the one who had all the power? It was true her body was pinned beneath his, but it wasn’t because he had trapped her there.

No, it was because she  _ wanted  _ him there.

A soft moan escaped his lips, and her arms went around him, holding him, clinging to him. He went deeper, and her grip tightened. Her husband. Her Sora. Looking into his eyes, seeing everything he was feeling because of her—

She wanted the worlds for him.

She focused all of her attention on him, on every sound he made, every movement of his body, every small reaction. His thrusts became less careful, less controlled as he filled her again and again and again, seeking whatever it was only she could give him.

What they were doing was affecting her, too. All her fears, all the barriers she’d erected around her heart, they were all melting away, one by one, leaving her naked before him, exposing her true self to him, all because—because—

Oh, but she didn’t dare say it out loud.

He brought his lips to hers and kissed her. She kissed him back, not with the desperate lust or playful teasing that had characterized their earlier efforts, but with something better, something sweeter and more thrilling by far.

His eyes met hers, and they were blue. He was himself. He was Sora.

She brought a trembling hand to his face. “My name,” she begged, her hand shaking as she caressed his cheek. “Say it. Please.”

She wanted to hear him say it like he’d said it when he thought no one was listening. She wanted to know his heart, to hear his voice and see for herself how he felt.

“Kairi,” he said, his voice breaking as he came undone. She held him as he groaned and emptied himself into her, shaking and shuddering as she accepted him fully and completely.

At that moment, this was all that was real. This was all that mattered. The two of them united as one heart and one flesh.

Then it was over. He went limp, and she wrapped her arms around him, willing him to stay inside her for a little while as he came back down to earth. His weight on top of her felt like he was shielding her with his body, keeping her safe and warm and secure, and she wanted to prolong that contact for as long as possible.

Because that was what she loved about this. The connection, the intimacy. Looking into his eyes as he’d shared the deepest, most vulnerable parts of himself with her. Especially since for a few brief moments, they’d been blue.

She stroked his back and ran her fingers through his hair, murmuring gentle things to him as his labored breathing evened out, as his body slowly but surely came under his control again. When he’d regained enough of that control, he rolled off of her, and the loss of contact felt like a hollow ache inside her. 

“Sora—”

With a start she realized he was crying. His whole body was shaking as he lay there and let out a torrent of pent up emotions.

“Sora, what’s wrong?” she asked, snuggling up next to him. She didn’t understand why he was upset. He hadn’t hurt her. She hadn’t had to say “light” even once. Everything had gone well. More than well, in fact.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.” He wiped his eyes and looked into hers. His were still filled with tears, but he had a beautiful smile on his face. “Kairi—”

Her stomach lurched. “Say my name like that again.”

“Kairi,” he said, then smiled even bigger through his tears. His arms went around her and brought her to him, pressing their bodies together like he couldn’t bear to be apart from her. He was still shaking and crying as he stuttered out a string of nearly incomprehensible syllables. All she could make out was him calling her his wife, his beloved.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” She buried her face in his chest and breathed deeply. Everything smelled like the two of them right now: male and female, man and woman, husband and wife.

“Coming together again—becoming one with you—knowing you trusted me enough to let me even  _ do  _ that—even after I hurt you, you still let me—you still wanted me—”

“I know,” she said softly. “I know.”

“Kairi, I love you.”

The words had tumbled out of him, spilled out like he couldn’t bear to keep them locked away anymore. She looked into his eyes again, and they were blue. A lump built in her throat and tears stung her eyes as he cupped her face.

“If only you knew,” he choked out. “If only you could see. I wish there was a way I could share my heart with you, I wish I could show you how much I love you—” 

He covered her face with kisses and kept confessing his love for her again and again, overcome with emotion and clinging to her like she was his lifeline. He couldn’t stop going on and on about how much he loved her and always wanted to be with her.

When he’d recovered enough, he gently fingered her to one last climax as his mouth and tongue teased her nipples. He knew her body well, knew how to draw out every ounce of pleasure possible. She was putty in his hands, weak to his touch. And when it was over, he held her and caressed her till she calmed down. By the time he spoke again, his voice was steady, even.

“Come with me on my business trip tomorrow,” he murmured as he nuzzled her shoulder.

Her heart pounded as she looked into his eyes. They were green and turning back to yellow, but she wasn’t really even disappointed about that. She was too distracted by his invitation, because he’d never invited her on one of his trips off world before. 

“You really want me to come?”

“Yes. If you want to, that is.”

“Of course I do.”

He smiled and kissed her, slowly, deeply, then sat up.

“Where are you going?” she asked, doing a bad job of keeping the disappointment out of her voice. She’d thought that maybe, for once, he’d stay.

“I’ve gotta make arrangements for you,” he said as he gave her hand a quick squeeze. “See you bright and early in the morning.”

She was back to feeling cold and empty and alone when before Sora had surrounded her and filled her. His warmth and scent still lingered on her bed, and she lingered there with the ghost of him for a moment before going to the bathroom to clean up. She rinsed him off of her and out of her, all while wishing he was still here beside her. 

When she climbed back into bed, his warmth was gone but his scent remained. The best she could hope for was that someday, somewhere, he would trust himself enough, trust her enough, to fall asleep in her arms.

* * *

“You’re looking cheerful,” Octavius said when Sora found him patrolling one of the gardens. “Something good happen?”

Er, what to say to that. Octavius was his employee, so telling him, “My wife and I just had mindblowingly good sex” seemed like a bad idea. 

“Oh, um, you could say that,” he finally said. 

Octavius gave him a knowing look. “It was Kairi, wasn’t it?”

Sora chuckled and scratched his neck. “How’d you know?”

“You’re always happier when things are going well between the two of you. And just now, your grin was so big and stupid it would’ve taken a meteor crashing into you to wipe it off your face.”

“Well… what can I say? I’m in love with a pretty awesome woman.”

Sora sat down on one of the benches and sighed as he looked at the fountain that had the two lovers with pierced hearts. 

His heart had been pierced by Cupid’s arrow. The question was, had the same thing happened to Kairi? As wonderful as tonight had been, he couldn’t help but notice that she hadn’t told him she loved him too. He’d spilled his heart out to her, but a part of her was still closed off to him. Still afraid. 

But why? He hadn’t imagined the vulnerability in her eyes, had he? The tenderness and affection? Tonight had been like watching her heart open up, piece by piece. But right as he’d reached the last wall, something had caused her to close up, to get scared.

“Octavius, she’s scared of me, and I don’t know why,” he blurted out. 

Octavius raised an eyebrow. “Scared? Kairi isn’t scared of you.”

“She’s scared of being close to me, then.”

“Okay, let’s think about why that might be the case,” Octavius said. “Permission to sit next to His Majesty?”

“Permission granted.”

Octavius settled next to him, and his sword rustled as he shifted it into a more comfortable position. “Have you… how long have you known her? And be honest.”

“I knew her before we came here. Before I was king. Ever since we were just kids.”

“And were the two of you dating before you came here?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. We had been, but we were… we were on a break.”

Sora’s heart felt heavy at the reminder. Would they have just drifted apart forever without fate intervening and pushing them together again?

“Why?”

“We were always getting separated. We had these missions, see. They were really important, and we were some of the only people in the worlds who could do them. And that meant I had to leave her, over and over again—oh.”

Octavius gave him a pointed look.

“She’s afraid I’ll abandon her again, isn’t she? That’s all I ever did. Abandon her and break my promises and leave her behind.” 

Sora’s head drooped and his shoulders slumped. No wonder Kairi was scared of opening up to him fully. A part of her was probably still expecting him to abandon her again. He could tell her he loved her all he wanted. He could have incredible sex with her every day. He could dote on her and pamper her and it still wouldn’t make a difference. Because deep down, she would be expecting the next separation, anticipating the next abandonment. 

“Sora, don’t be so hard on yourself. It wasn’t like you could say no to those missions.”

“I could have. I could have made her a priority. And now the damage is done. How am I supposed to earn her trust again?”

“Well,” Octavius said as he stood, “I think you’re off to a good start. Be there for her. Don’t bail on her when things get tough. Show her your love is unconditional. The rest will follow with time. And be patient. The way she loves is different from the way you love. Her love is calm and steady, like the light. Yours is more like an ocean wave crashing into everything. So don’t expect her to express how she feels the same way you do.”

Sora looked up at Octavius. “Wow, you really are something, Octavius. How do you know so much about love? And about me and Kairi, too?”

Octavius shrugged. “I’ve lived with you for a while now, and I’m a good observer. It’s what you hired me for, isn’t it?”

Sora jumped to his feet. “Oh! Speaking of which, I need to talk to you about something. It’s why I came to find you in the first place. I want Kairi to go with me tomorrow.”

“I thought you said you wanted her to stay and watch over the kingdom while you’re gone.”

“But Octavius, you said it yourself! I can’t keep leaving her behind. She has to come with me.”

“I think she’ll survive a two day separation. You’re the one who doesn’t want to be away from her.”

“Okay, fair enough, but the point still stands. She’s coming with me, and I need your help to make the necessary arrangements. Oh, and while we’re gone, you and Alma are gonna be in charge of everything.”

Octavius’s eyebrows really shot up this time. “The head of the guard and Kairi’s lady-in-waiting? Why us?”

“Because I can’t stand half the nobles, and I don’t want to paint giant red targets on the backs of the ones I can stand.”

“Good point,” Octavius said as he rested his hand on Sora’s shoulder. “Speaking of which, you should keep your eye on Diana still. She shoots Kairi murderous glares every time they’re in the same room together.”

“Trust me, I know,” Sora muttered. “Now, about the arrangements…”

The next couple of hours were spent in a flurry of activity, but finally everything was ready for tomorrow morning. Sora retired to his room and went to the bathroom for his nightly routine. 

“Kairi doesn’t love you.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin. 

He stared at the figure in the mirror, and its yellow eyes stared back at him. Its body was covered in black smoke, but when he glanced at his arm, his skin was normal. Was this because he was becoming human again? Was this the darkness’s final stand, its last desperate attempt to keep control?

“Enough with your lies,” he told it. “It’s like Octavius said. The way she loves is different from the way I love. I just have to be patient.”

“She never said she loved you back,” it pointed out.

“She isn’t ready yet. We’ve got time.”

The darkness laughed. “Ready? She married you. She’s having sex with you. She lets you go down on her multiple times a day. She lets you fuck her, too. Face it, idiot. You’re good enough for sex, just not for love.”

“Wrong. I am worthy of love. And I deserve to be free from all the pain and suffering you’ve brought me. Now leave me alone!”

He punched the mirror, making cracks spread all up it, and with that, the darkness was gone. But as he bandaged his now-bleeding hand, the doubt remained. Would Kairi ever love him the way he loved her?

That was the inherent risk that came with love, he supposed. And Octavius was right. Kairi’s love did look different than his. He knew, because she had loved him once. And if there was a chance she might love him again… he was willing to wait, however long it took.

She was, and always would be, worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, teasing, fingering, oral sex, PIV sex. Kairi struggles with being emotionally intimate with Sora even while they are physically intimate. Sora's self-esteem issues flare up again, and he punches a mirror and bleeds a little.
> 
> Hello everyone! Thanks for the comments and kudos. This was another important turning-point chapter, as Sora realizes that, despite the progress they've made with physical intimacy, Kairi's struggling to be emotionally intimate with him after all the separations they've endured. This aspect of the story came to me as I was writing these chapters, because I really do think Kairi would need to work through feeling abandoned after everything that's happened. It might be hard for her to trust Sora not to abandon her again, even though she knows he means well and wouldn't do it of his own free will. It's hard not to be scared when you've lost someone once, and she's lost him several times. 
> 
> So yeah, the next several chapters will be dealing with this plot point. Hope you've enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	24. Belated Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Sora’s hand was bandaged the next morning when he came to greet Kairi, and she couldn’t help but frown.

“What happened?” she asked as she took his hand in hers and started healing him.

He scratched the back of his neck with his uninjured hand. “Oh, you know me, I’ve always been kinda clumsy—”

“What, when you were still going through puberty? Even then you were graceful. You fought more like a dancer than a warrior.”

She could still picture all the acrobatic flips and twirls and spins he did back then, even though he hadn’t had to fight all that much lately.

He gave her a teasing look, his eyebrows going crazy as they tried to fully capture his sass. “Oh, so you were watching me, huh?” 

“Of course I was. I had a huge crush on you.”

“And I had one on you. I was showing off for a reason, you know.”

“Well, it worked. You had my attention. You always did.”

She released his hand now that she was through healing him, and he wiggled his fingers. 

“All better now. Thanks, Kairi. And to answer your question, I hurt myself because I punched a mirror last night.”

“A mirror? Why?”

“Let’s just say… my darkness likes to try and drag me down sometimes.”

“Oh.” She found his hand again before he could escape. “If it ever gets to be too much… I’m here for you, okay?”

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I know. Thank you.”

They went to breakfast, hand-in-hand, but Kairi couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Wrong. Like she shouldn’t be going on this trip. Both her and Sora away from the kingdom at the same time? Wasn’t that as good as asking Lady Diana and her cronies to make a move against them?

“You’re sure everything will be okay with both of us gone?” she asked Sora as she nibbled on her toast. The jam was made from those same oranges Mare Caelestis was known for, and it was just the right combination of tangy and sweet.

“I’ve taken care of everything, don’t worry,” Sora said, his eyes bright and alert for so early in the morning. His hand rested on top of hers and he caressed her fingers. “We never got to go on our honeymoon, and I want to make it up to you.”

“But this is a business trip, isn’t it?” 

“It is, but who says there can’t be a little pleasure on the side?” he said in a way that made her heart flutter.

“We can just as easily… you know, here in the castle.”

“Yeah, but why not mix things up a little? I know it’s not the same as a real honeymoon, but it’ll have to be good enough for now.”

She set her toast down. “Sora… why do you want me to come, really? If you’re just going to be gone for two days, I don’t see why you want me to—”

“What, am I not allowed to crave my wife’s presence? To desire her company?”

She chewed her lip. If he really craved her presence so much, he’d spend the night with her in her bed instead of getting himself off and then leaving her all alone to clean up the mess and sort through the hollow ache he left behind.

Okay, that wasn’t really fair. He always made sure she got off, too. Multiple times, usually. Still, after last night, she couldn’t help but feel a little empty, a little used. 

“Beloved?” he asked, his voice gentle as he stroked her hand. “What’s on your mind?”

“I… it’s nothing.”

“No, it’s not nothing. What’s wrong?”

She stared into his eyes, her heart thudding. “I…”

He leaned closer, his brow furrowing in concern. But she didn’t want to ruin things, and right before their trip, too. He had his reasons for not staying in her bed, and if she pressed him, he might stop coming by at all. 

“The queen… craves her husband’s presence as well,” she finally managed. It was true, at least.

Sora’s expression softened. “Then she’ll have it. Kairi, you’re my number one priority. If you ever… if you ever just wanna be with me, all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll make time.”

“But you have a kingdom to run.”

“That I do, but I also have a wife to take care of. And don’t worry about both of us leaving the kingdom. Alma and Octavius will take care of things while we’re gone. Besides, you’re the one I swore on my life to cherish. Not the kingdom.”

She frowned. Maybe Lord Aurelius and Lady Diana had been right. Maybe she really was distracting Sora too much. Maybe going with him was a bad idea.

“Okay, but I just… I don’t want to distract you, and I’m worried that if I go with you, I will.”

He smiled sadly. “Maybe I could use a distraction every now and then. Please, Kairi. I promise I’ll take care of whatever business needs to be done first.”

The puppy dog eyes had been deployed against her, and she didn’t really want to say no, anyway.

“Okay.”

His face brightened, and he leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “It’ll be great, you’ll see!”

The business part of their trip was, well, business. Sora wanted to go to The City in the Clouds to talk about a trade agreement, so that was where they went.

This place was truly incredible. The settlements were all floating in the air, and fluffy pink and blue clouds surrounded everything. Each settlement was connected by rainbow pathways, and the sorts of creatures you normally only read about in fairytales were here—unicorns, pegasi, satyrs, centaurs, mermaids. 

The most impressive settlement of all was the one with the castle and castle town. The houses were made of colorful glass with domed roofs, and apparently flying was a thing on this world, because Kairi spotted a number of people doing it. On their own, on various vehicles, even on some of the magical creatures. A part of her wished she could just explore this place instead of getting stuck in more meetings, but business first, leisure later.

The meetings went well, and the trade agreement was signed by the end of the day. As they were leaving the castle with the guards a respectful distance behind and ahead, Kairi looped her arm through Sora’s, the breeze blowing her dress and hair around. Of course there were people clamoring outside the castle for the chance to see the king and queen of Kingdom Hearts. Kairi did her best to smile and nod and be polite as the crowd erupted into cheers as they walked past. She spotted several little stands lining the cobblestone streets that were selling mementos of… her and Sora?

Sure enough, there were carefully drawn pictures and photographs from their wedding, their royal portraits, postcards of Mare Caelestis. The tabloids hadn’t lied. They really were that popular, more like a supercouple than royalty. Or maybe they were a supercouple because they were royalty.

Kairi just wished Sora’s portrait had his blue eyes instead of his gold ones.

Once they were safely alone inside the hotel in their suite of rooms, Kairi sat down on the bed as he undid his tie. She fiddled with her necklace and wondered how Naminé and Aqua and the rest of their friends were doing.

“Today went pretty well, don’t you think?” she finally said.

“Because I had my good luck charm with me,” he answered as he finished taking the tie off and started unbuttoning his shirt. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“Of course.” She stood and took over unbuttoning duty. “I… I’m glad I did.”

He watched her, wordlessly, as she finished unbuttoning his shirt. It slid off his shoulders, revealing his chest and stomach.

“Sit down,” she said softly. “I want to do something for you.” 

He did as she asked, and soon she was kneading the knots out of his shoulders as he relaxed under her touch. 

“So here in about an hour, we have that dinner party to go to,” she said as she worked on a particular tense spot.

“We could cancel,” he said. “Just spend the evening in each other’s arms.”

“Business first, remember?” she gently chided, and he sighed deeply.

“Sora… sometimes I wonder… do you even like being king? You’re a good ruler, don’t get me wrong, it’s just… not something I ever thought you’d end up doing. You always seemed like too much of a free spirit for that.”

“Like it or not, it’s my job now, isn’t it?”

“You could always quit.”

He barked out a laugh. “Hardly.”

His words stuck with her all throughout the dinner party. They didn’t really get to talk to each other one-on-one, as they were both too busy making the rounds talking to other people for that. Then by the time they finally retreated for the night, they were both too tired for anything other than a quick goodnight kiss before going to bed. Kairi was too sleepy to care that he’d booked a suite with two separate rooms and two separate beds. Tomorrow would be here soon, and they could talk about it then.

* * *

When Kairi woke up the next morning, the sun was pouring through the window. She walked over and pulled the curtain back, and the world outside was abuzz with activity—a man walking his pet lizard, a woman and her two children enjoying cotton candy, a pegasus flying overhead.

Going back to her bag, she dug around for her sketchbook and pencils so she could draw the scene before her. She was still hard at work when Sora knocked on the door. 

“Come in,” she said, then stopped her work for a moment to glance at him. He was only wearing his boxers right now, and she very much approved of the view she was getting.

“Morning, Kai. What’re you up to?”

“Just getting some drawing in. I’ve been trying to pick it back up again lately.”

“May I see?” he asked as he sat on the window seat beside her.

“Sure.” She showed him the bustling street unfolding on the paper, and he smiled.

“Wow, you’re really good. Can I look at your other drawings?”

“Oh, sure.”

She handed him the sketchbook, and he flipped through it, his brow furrowed in concentration as he commented on her drawings every now and then. It was right as he turned to the drawing she’d made of him that she realized too late what was happening.

His lips parted and his eyes went wide as he took in his naked form. She tried to slam the sketchbook shut, but he rested his hand over hers.

“Kairi, when did you draw this?”

“Before we slept together, that’s why it’s so bad, I hadn’t, er, seen all of you yet, and—”

“I don’t think it’s bad at all. Is this how you see me? I… I look good.”

The Sora in the drawing did have quite the smile, along with a twinkle in his eyes. But it still didn’t capture the joy and life and energy of the man sitting next to her. Try as she might, it was nearly impossible to do Sora justice. 

“I saw you like this in a dream, the night before Christmas,” she explained. “We were in some secret wood together, just… enjoying each other. As soon as I woke up, I knew I had to draw as much as I could remember before the dream faded.”

“A secret wood, huh?” He just stared at the drawing for a little while longer, then turned the sketchbook to a blank page. “Will you draw me again?” he asked softly. “This time, you can look at the real deal, if it’ll help.”

She nodded and took the sketchbook from him. “Go ahead and undress,” she said as she closed the curtains.

He slipped his boxers off, leaving him in nothing but his crown necklace. He really was beautiful. He was toned and fit, and the look of tenderness and vulnerability in his eyes as he offered his body for her visual enjoyment turned her insides to mush.

“Um, how do you want me to pose?” he asked.

“Lie on the bed with your back against the pillows and put your hands behind your neck.”

He did, and after adjusting his position a little, she began. Drawing him drew her attention to every little detail about him, to all the stories his body had to tell. An old scar from some forgotten battle on his arm, a fading scratch on his chest, a tiny birthmark on his thigh. She tried to draw everything, tried to capture his heart and soul and essence on paper. 

When she was through, the result was much better, much truer to life than her first attempt. She went over to the bed and showed him, and a big smile spread across his face.

“There. Now you can have a version of me even when I’m away,” he told her.

“Thank you,” she said as she closed the sketchbook and set it to the side. 

“No, thank you for drawing me.” 

They just looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments, and Sora sighed. That was it. Kairi slid her nightgown off, and her underwear followed soon afterwards.

“Lean back,” she told him. “Looking isn’t good enough anymore.”

He grinned and did as she asked, and she straddled him. They would need more foreplay than this to get warmed up, though, so she decided to experiment with something new. He really liked playing with her nipples. Maybe his were just as sensitive.

She brought her hands to his chest and started rubbing them in slow circles. He seemed to like that well enough, so she started varying the kinds of touches, the intensity of the touches, that sort of thing, to see what worked best. His eyes fluttered shut as he gave himself fully to her attention, and she leaned down and lightly nibbled one of his nipples.

Oh, he really liked that. She grinned and tried sucking and licking, too, and that made him moan. When she nibbled him again, his eyes went wide and he clutched the sheets, and she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Who knew you were so sensitive?” she teased as she lightly dragged her nails up and down his chest. Seeing him get all worked up was getting her all hot and bothered, too. 

“I wonder what other parts of you are sensitive…” she murmured as she leaned closer, her mouth finding the delicate skin of his neck. He moaned as she gave him a hickey, and she whispered, “Just so everyone remembers you’re mine.”

The look in his eyes was wild now, but she just grinned as she drug her nails up and down his body, making him whimper and squirm. Teasing him was fun, especially when she started playing with his balls. On a whim she tickled one of them, and he yelped.

“Too much?” she asked, her eyebrows knitting in concern. 

“Too sensitive,” he moaned. “Fuck, this feels good—”

She contented herself with playing with his cock, still not able to get over how reactive it was. His head was especially sensitive, and watching his toes curl as she rested her head on his stomach and took him in her mouth was a treat in and of itself. 

From this angle, she couldn’t look him in the eye, but that also meant she could fully focus on what she was doing. When she had him good and worked up, she let him slip out of her mouth, and she gave his cock one last kiss before looking up at him expectantly.

“You want me to make you mine?” he asked, his voice husky. 

“Yes.” 

“Then lie on your stomach, but spread your legs and prop yourself up with your arms.”

Something about the way he said that made her want nothing more than to comply. She did, and soon she felt him drape himself on top of her. He gently nipped at her shoulder and played with her boobs for a little while, then kissed her cheek.

“Kairi, do you trust me?”

“With my life.”

After a little bit of fumbling, he slid inside of her. Not very deeply yet, but ooooh the angle felt good. Something about this position was pretty hot, too, with Sora hovering over her and keeping her in place. The eye contact she was so used to when they usually made love was gone, too, and that made her feel even more vulnerable than usual… but in a good way.

Once he was fully inside her, he experimented around a little to find the best angle and position for them both. She really was at his mercy right now, but that just made the whole thing that much more intense. Especially when he told her how beautiful she looked, how good she felt, how much he was enjoying taking her from this position. And then nothing but his grunts and moans and the sounds of him filling her again and again. 

She was his. Her body was his and she wanted him to take as much pleasure from her as he wanted. Ugh, just the thought of that was hot, that he wanted her so badly she’d reduced him to groaning and grunting as he fucked her. 

But to her surprise, despite the very carnal nature of what they were doing, he leaned forward so he could kiss her cheek.

"I know you asked me to make you mine,” he said, his voice soft and tender. “But really, you're making me yours instead, beloved." 

She felt herself tighten around him because God, this felt so good and his gentle words went straight to her heart.

“Touch me, please—”

He fondled her until she came, hard, pushing her butt into his hips and her boobs into his free hand. When she had calmed down some, he started moving again. It didn’t take long before he came, and when he was through, he gently rolled them both to their sides so he could hold her. 

“I love you,” he murmured as he cuddled with her, his eyes blue. He kissed her ear, her neck, her shoulder, her face… anywhere he had access, really. She felt so loved, so cherished as he expressed his affection. So she cupped his face and kissed him, then they bumped noses and grinned at each other.

“That was incredible,” she said. “We’re gonna do that again, right?”

“Hell yeah we are!”

She laughed at his enthusiasm, only for his expression to grow serious.

“What is it?”

“If it’s okay with you, I mean. I know… that was a little less personal for you, and I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m just using you—” 

“Sora, I know you won’t. You can’t help but get your heart involved. But the fantasy of you using me is hot, if that makes sense. Like you have to have me or you’ll go crazy from desire.” 

He nodded. “Makes sense. The thought of you using me turns me on for the same reason.” He stroked her cheek, his touch ever so tender. “Anything else? I want to keep improving our lovemaking.”

Awwww, he really did want this to be as good as possible for her. 

“The angle was really good, and I like how you could touch me and kiss me. I think I still like sex with eye contact the best, but I definitely want to try this again sometime, especially if we mix it up with other positions.”

“Okay, I’ll remember that.”

“Anything you’d like to tell me?” she asked. If he was going to do everything he could to improve, it was only fair she did the same.

He hesitated for a moment, then finally said, “Your teasing is getting better and better. I like how you focused on my whole body, not just my dick.”

“Duly noted. Your whole body deserves attention, you know. You’re one handsome man.”

“And you’re one beautiful woman.”

They kissed and cuddled for a little while longer, and then it was time to get ready for the day. To save time, they took a shower together, and she loved scrubbing him down and running her hands across his slippery, soapy body. He just looked at her with pure adoration in his eyes, which instead of going back to yellow, were staying green.

Interesting.

“Beloved, if you’re not careful, I’m gonna wanna give shower sex a try,” he said as she carefully cleaned his dick.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Well… do you want me to?”

“Yes, but let’s save it for next time. We’re already running late as it is.”

“Oh, about that. I already made arrangements for today. The meetings are all done. We have the day to ourselves.”

She stopped to look up at him. “We do?”

His grin got bigger. “Uh-huh. One whole day, entirely to ourselves, to explore this world as we please with no servants or guards to interfere. And if we disguise ourselves well enough, we might get some privacy too, for once—”

She cut him off with a kiss. One thing led to another, and a little while later, they were able to check another item off the bucket list: steamy hot shower sex, complete with slipping and sliding and having an overall good time being silly and fun and sexy together. 

Sora went to his room to get dressed afterwards, and he told her to wear something comfortable, because they would probably be outside a lot today. She had just the thing. On a whim, she’d brought her white miniskirt along, hoping she could maybe wear it for Sora. It wasn’t really something she could wear in public anymore as queen, but today she would allow herself. To complete the look, she put on a breezy purple blouse and matching shoes, then braided her hair. A pair of sunglasses and one of those big floppy sun hats would help hide her identity. 

By the time she was finished getting ready, Sora was ready, too. He came back into her room, and she lowered her sunglasses to get a better look. He was wearing jeans, actual jeans that looked great on his legs—not too tight and not too loose. A fitted red v-neck t-shirt and athletic shoes like the ones he used to wear back home rounded out the outfit, along with a baseball cap he’d somehow managed to tame his hair with. 

And with his still-green eyes, they were even less likely to get recognized. Especially if they used some magic to trick people into not realizing who they were seeing. 

“Like the look?” he asked as he turned around. 

“Yes. Those jeans look fantastic on your butt,” she said as she admired the view.

“And that miniskirt looks awesome on your legs,” he said back with a teasing grin. She giggled and playfully smacked his butt, then found her purse. As she bent to pick it up, he let out a wolf whistle. When she turned around to look at him, he winked and made a “Call me” gesture.

She laughed and found his hand, then it was off to explore this cool new world together. 

* * *

Sora was on a proper date with Kairi, and the first order of business was to find something delicious to eat. They could eat normal breakfast food…  _ or  _ they could eat ice cream, because who didn’t love ice cream?

He spotted an ice cream stand nearby, right by the edge of the settlement, and the guy running it perked up at the sight of them. He was an elderly man with a pretty impressive mustache, and a whole array of flavors and toppings were at his disposal. 

“Couple ice cream! Two spoons, one dessert. Special treat for the newlyweds.”

Sora was about to correct the man when he realized, in a way, he was right. He and Kairi had been married for around eight months now, but it finally felt like they had entered the honeymoon phase.

Kairi giggled into her free hand, the other still holding tightly to his. “How can you tell we’re newlyweds?”

“It’s all in the looks,  _ mon cherie.  _ The way you look at him, the way he looks at you.”

Sora dug into his pocket for his wallet. How long had it been since he got to treat Kairi to a date outside the castle walls?

“We’ll take your couple special, then. What kind of ice cream’s in it?”

“Ah, but that depends on the couple. Each one is unique, and the ice cream must also be unique, no?” He turned to Kari, his eyes twinkling. “What is the first thing you notice about your husband?”

She pursed her lips for a moment as she thought. Man, she was stunning. Everything she did, she put her whole heart into.

“Would it be cheating to list multiple things?” she finally asked.

“Not at all. It just means you admire your husband.”

“Okay, then… his smile. His eyes. The way his face lights up when he sees me from across the room. How big and caring his heart is. And a few other things I probably shouldn’t say in polite company.”

The ice cream man chuckled good-naturedly. “Very good, madame, I am starting to get a feel for the ice cream. And you, monsieur, what do you like most about your wife?”

“Everything,” Sora blurted out. 

Kairi smiled shyly, her cheeks tinged with pink. It was nice to know he still had that effect on her. 

“Chocolate or vanilla?” the ice cream man asked.

“Chocolate,” they both said in unison.

“Strawberry or banana?”

“Strawberry.” “Banana.”

The man grinned. “Then you shall have both. Strawberry for monsieur, and banana for madame. Sprinkles?”

“Absolutely,” Sora said. “Even if they are just rainbow-colored sugar, they’re still awesome.”

“Whipped cream and cherry?”

“Both, please,” Kairi said.

“Alright, please give me a few moments to prepare.”

Kairi rested her head on his shoulder as they watched the man make their ice cream. It felt so good to be out in public with her like this, just another regular couple enjoying the lovely weather. She looked cute, too, in her miniskirt and blouse and floppy hat. 

“Voila! Here you are!” the man said at last, presenting them with a truly impressive work of art. On Kairi’s side was a scoop of chocolate banana ice cream, and on Sora’s was a scoop of chocolate strawberry. One scoop of regular chocolate rested between them. Pieces of fresh bananas and strawberries were scattered around the ice cream, and to top it all off were dollops of whipped cream, each with a cherry and sprinkles on top. Two chocolate chip cookies were neatly tucked into the sides along with two pink spoons, and Sora couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Enjoy,” the man said as they thanked him and took the ice cream to a nearby bench, painted to resemble a sky full of fluffy clouds.

“Here, you can have the first bite,” he told her. But instead she scooped up some of the ice cream from his side and fed it to him. Oh man, this stuff was good. Some of the best he’d ever had, except for Twilight Town’s sea-salt ice cream, naturally.

“How is it?” she asked as he savored the taste.

“Amazing. Here, you try some too,” he said as he grabbed the other spoon and fed some to her. The look of pure bliss on her face as she tasted the ice cream made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He got to share in this special moment with her, and he was gonna be sure to get it memorized.

They kept feeding each other till the ice cream and cookies were all gone, and then Kairi kissed him “to get the chocolate smudges off his lips.” He got a little, er, carried away, and she had to break away from him before they got indecent.

“My king, you are quite the kisser,” she teased as she straightened her clothes and glanced around to make sure they hadn’t been recognized.

“What can I say? I learned from the best,” he said as he helped her to her feet. 

After that, they hopped on board a flying trolley so they could reach this mountain Sora had seen on a travel brochure. Kairi was huddled so close to him she was nearly on his lap, and they kept sharing short, chaste kisses and nose rubs, grinning and giggling because they couldn’t help themselves. 

His hand rested on her thigh, and as he inched it higher and higher, he could feel the disapproving glares from the nearby patrons. Screw them. Kairi was his wife and he wanted everyone to know how much he loved her. He gave her a particularly passionate kiss, and his hand was up her skirt before she stopped him with a warning look. 

“Later, my king,” she murmured under her breath. So he switched to touching her face. He brushed back the strands of hair that had popped out of her braid, rested his hands on her cheeks, kissed her at random intervals, put his hand over her mouth because he knew she would respond by kissing his fingers.

He hadn’t realized how much he missed her touch until she’d started regularly touching him again. So yeah, the other patrons could shoot him dirty looks all they wanted, but he didn’t give a rip. They had no idea. They had no idea how desperate his heart was to express itself, to soak in all the affection Kairi was giving him. 

As soon as they got off the trolley, he spotted a nearby clump of bushes and trees a little ways away from everything that looked private enough and pulled her inside. 

“Sora—”

He silenced her with his lips, and she sighed and wrapped her arms around him as his hands slid up her skirt. Oh damn, she was pretty wet already. Well, this would make things go a lot quicker. He fingered her till she came, grinning and clamping his free hand over her mouth to muffle the noise as she did.

“Kairi!” he murmured into her ear in mock disapproval. “We’re in a public park, how could you!” 

She whimpered as he removed his hand from her underwear and licked his fingers. “You’re a bad girl and you know it. Who knew getting it on when we could get caught would get you so wet?”

He grinned, because he hadn’t been expecting to discover a new turn-on for her like this. 

She pouted and tried to unzip his pants, but he stopped her and clicked his tongue. “Later, beloved.”

It was one thing to finger her with her clothes still on. It was another altogether to start removing clothes and whip his dick out. No one needed to see that except Kairi. 

As she was still a little weak in the knees, he helped her to her feet and picked some twigs out of her braid. 

“Better?”

“Well, I’m a little less horny now, but you wouldn’t let me do anything for you,” she said with another pout. “I don’t like just taking from you and not giving anything in return.”

“But that’s just part of the fun,” he murmured. “I like it when you get me all wound up.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” she asked, an eyebrow raised. “Then brace yourself, Your Majesty, because you haven’t seen anything yet.” 

She stole a furtive glance around them and then squeezed his crotch. “By the time today is over, you will be begging me to let you fuck me, and I’m going to make you wait juuuust a little while longer. Not because I really want you to, but because I know you will if I ask.”

She smiled sweetly and walked on ahead, and he was left staring after her as she swayed her hips back and forth. Uh-oh, had he just created a monster?

“What’s the matter, my king?” she said, her voice sugary-sweet. “Are your pants feeling a little too tight?”

“Not at all,” he said, even though they were, in fact, feeling way too tight right now. Kairi gave him a sly smile.

“Glad to hear that. I’d hate for you to feel uncomfortable all day.”

Sora bit back the urge to groan. However nice the rest of the day was, he was gonna be thoroughly distracted, and Kairi was gonna enjoy every moment.

And truth be told? So was he.

* * *

As the day went on, Kairi found herself wishing she and Sora could be like this always. For once, he was able to give her his full attention. For once, he didn’t have everyone else clamoring for him to do this or that for them. For once, he didn’t have to fight in someone else’s war or rule someone else’s kingdom. He was the happiest and most relaxed he’d been in ages.

In other words, he was like the Sora she’d fallen in love with back on Destiny Islands. The Sora he would’ve become if fate hadn’t gotten in the way and made him miserable, time and again.

She watched him as the breeze rippled through his clothes. They were high up on the mountain now, so high that most of the other tourists hadn’t bothered to come up here. They’d found a rocky outcropping that gave a fantastic view of the settlement below, as well as the other nearby settlements, all floating in the sky.

A particularly strong gust of wind blew through the area, and Kairi yelped as it blew her hat clean off her head. Sora was already springing into action; he raced after it and leapt up, catching it with ease before doing a somersault and landing on his feet.

She clapped and cheered as he handed her hat back to her with a bow. “You’ve still got it, my king. And thank you for rescuing my hat.”

“Anything for you, Kairi,” he said with a soft smile. 

They were so high up they were, in fact, in the clouds. But these weren’t like the clouds back home. They were puffy and fluffy instead of wet and rainy, and Sora reached for a clump of cloud and pulled back a ball of fluff.

He grinned and did it with his other hand, then took a seat next to Kairi. “Remember those daisy chains we used to make back home? Time to make cloud chains.”

He handed her a tuft of cloud, but she spent most of the time watching him carefully craft a crown. She loved how his tongue poked out of his mouth ever-so-slightly as he concentrated, how he furrowed his brow and looked ever so serious about his task.

“There,” he said at last when he was through, then grinned and placed the crown on top of her head and over her hat. “I crown you my queen.”

“I thought I already was,” she teased. 

“Queen of my heart, then.” He looked at her in a way that, after all this time, still made her heart speed up. Then he held his arms out, and she removed her hat again and snuggled into his embrace.

“What’s on your mind?” she asked as he kissed her neck and cheek.

“I wish we could be like this always. Just you and me, without all the ruling stuff. Without all the pressure and scrutiny.”

“I do too. We could do it, you know. We could give it all up. Why don’t you want to?”

She didn’t add that she wished they could go home to their real home on Destiny Islands. That would be a little much for now. 

“I do want to. But from the moment I set foot in this realm, they demanded I be their king.”

Kairi imagined the scene: Sora, all alone, in the aftermath of battle with his heart all torn up, getting set upon by a bunch of eager strangers clamoring for him to be their king. Had anyone given him a hug? Had anyone asked after his heart? Had anyone given him the kind of care and support he desperately needed? Or had he been on his own for all that, because god-kings didn’t need help, they didn’t need care and love.

Except that they did. They so desperately did. 

“Kairi, what’s wrong?” Sora asked.

“I was just thinking about you all alone, after the final battle, hurt and wounded with no friends in sight. I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me most.”

“You’re wrong,” he said softly. “You were there for me. You’ve been there for me through all of this when everyone else would’ve given up on me.”

“I couldn’t just give up on you, Sora. I couldn’t.”

“Why not?” 

She hesitated. Why? Why was she hesitating? Why was she afraid? What was so scary about telling Sora how she felt?

“…the paopu fruit,” she finally said. “I think its magic is still working, even after all this time.”

“Our fates really are bound together, aren’t they? No matter what happens, we’re always together in the end.”

“More like separated in the end,” she said sadly.

His grip around her tightened. “Beloved, no. No longer. I won’t abandon you anymore.” 

Tears stung her eyes. How many times had he told her that before, only to have to leave her again?

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she said, her voice quivering. 

“Turn around and look at me, Kairi.” 

She sniffed and did as he asked, and his face was very serious as he looked her in the eye.

“I know in the past I did a bad job of keeping my promises to you. I thought I had to fight. Everyone told me it was my duty. I was chosen by the Keyblade, except I wasn’t, really, I was just lucky… or unlucky… and happened to be in the right place at the right time. So I fought and fought and fought. But all that time, I kept ignoring my duty to my own heart.”

“And what is your duty to your heart?”

“To love you more deeply with each passing day. To cherish you and adore you like you deserve to be cherished and adored. To make an unbreakable vow to you to spend the rest of our lives together.”

“Don’t, please,” she said as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Don’t what? Tell you how I feel? Commit myself to you like I should have years ago? Follow my heart and make you my number one priority?”

She was shaking and crying and she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand why this hurt so much. Shouldn’t she be happy Sora loved her? What was wrong with her? 

He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she wept. “My heart wasn’t the only one that got broken, was it? Kairi, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how deeply I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry for all the times I left you behind and brought you pain. Of course your heart would close itself off to me. It’s trying to protect you from getting hurt again.” 

She just sobbed and sobbed. How was it that Sora understood her heart better than she did? It was like she didn’t even know herself anymore. 

But Sora did, somehow. He knew her and loved her. Why wouldn’t she allow herself to be loved? Why wouldn’t she allow herself to love? Was it really the fear of getting hurt again like he suspected? 

“Beloved,” he said softly as he cupped her cheek in his hand, “it’s enough for me that we’re together. Don’t overthink this or put pressure on yourself. The heart wants what the heart wants, remember? All I ask is that you be kind to yourself, and remember who you’re supposed to love first.”

“Who?”

“Yourself.” She got even more teary at that, and he gave her a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck. “Can’t take credit for that one though, Roxas was the one who told me that.”

She wiped her eyes. “He did?”

“Yeah. After you and I had that awful fight, he came to me and comforted me. Because you begged our friends for help, for my sake.” 

Oh. She hadn’t known for sure whether someone had actually heard her desperate cry for help. 

“You’re always looking out for me, even when we’re fighting,” Sora said, and he was looking at her with that soft look in his eyes again. “So let me look after you for once.”

She nodded because her voice was failing her. Her feelings were scary, her heart was scary, and Sora’s devotion was scary. But she had to do something or risk losing him forever. So if she gave him permission to do what he wanted to do anyway… what he was going to do anyway… maybe he would stay, for a little while longer. 

They stayed there for another half an hour or so so Sora could comfort her, and she tried to get the nagging voice at the back of her mind telling her this was too good to last to shut up. That Sora would leave her again, for whatever reason, and she’d be back to being alone. But it wouldn’t shut up, because she knew it was right. 

Sora would leave her again. It would happen eventually. That was how it always was, and that was how it always would be. 

But until that happened, she would make the best of whatever time they did have together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, teasing, fingering, oral sex, PIV sex. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Thanks for the comments and kudos. This was another chapter I really enjoyed writing, considering all the ground it covers emotionally. I wanted them to be able to make up for the honeymoon they didn't get to have and generally just enjoy spending time together, but the final scene where Sora comforts Kairi on the mountain came to me as I was writing. I knew I had to keep it, even though it is more serious tonally than the other parts of the chapter, because it's what they both really needed, especially Kairi. For a lot of the story so far she's done what she can to help Sora with his emotional struggles, and now that he's feeling better, I think he would do everything he can to help her with her emotional struggles, too. 
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	25. For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

When they got back to the hotel that night, Sora was on cloud nine. An entire day spent with Kairi getting to dote on her and pamper her. And she had done her fair share of doting and pampering, too. 

He grinned as he thought about her sitting on his lap on the trolley to the museum, the one about the history of The City in the Clouds. She’d slowly wiggled her butt so that no one else knew what was going on and he had to maintain his composure. And then, as soon as they’d gotten off, she’d dragged him to an alley, pulled his dick out, and gave him a blowjob that had made him nearly collapse in a pile of mush, it felt so good. 

To top it all off, she’d swallowed and licked him clean while looking up into his eyes, and then tucked his dick back in his boxers and zipped up his jeans and patted his crotch with a knowing smile. 

She was awesome, and he wanted her to know it. 

“Kairi, I know we’ve been going at it like a couple of sex addicts lately, but can I make love to you one more time tonight?” he asked as he watched from the couch in her room as she undressed. He really did want to make good on his promise to care for her. He wanted her to realize he was serious about staying with her.

She turned to face him as she unbraided her hair, letting it fall in soft waves down her bare shoulders, drawing his eyes to her perfect breasts. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I haven’t gone down on you at all today, and that’s a crying shame. So I figured we’d start there.”

She brushed her fingers through her hair. “Tell me more.”

“I’d draw things out and get you really worked up so that when you finally come, it’d be really good for you.”

“I like the sound of that.” 

“And then I’d enter you myself and hope that I would last longer than thirty seconds after seeing a sight as beautiful as your—”

She giggled and put her hand over his mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I hate that word! It sounds so silly. Not sexy like cock and dick do.” 

“Are the alternatives any better?”

“No,” she admitted.

“So I’m going with the best option I’ve got.”

“Ooooor you could stop talking and actually make good on your dirty talk.”

That was also an option, and he was very happy to do it. Kairi was very happy, too. After he was through, she was a puddle on the bed, and he was licking her delicious taste off his lips. 

He loved watching her bask after her orgasms. She was always so happy and content, so affectionate and cuddly. He snuggled up next to her and held her as his raging hardon whined at them both. 

“You really do get turned on by bringing me pleasure, don’t you?” she murmured sleepily as she reached down and stroked him.

“Of course I do. Seeing you enjoy yourself, I can’t help but get turned on.”

“Why is that?”

“Bringing someone I love so much pleasure… it’s hard to beat how good that feels.”

She was silent, and he wondered what was on her mind. 

“There is one thing better, though,” he said. 

“And what’s that?”

“Bringing her pleasure and experiencing it with her, too. A little selfish, I know, but it’s the closest I can get to showing her what’s in my heart.”

“It’s not selfish,” she said softly as she rolled onto her back and spread her legs a little wider. “I… I want to see. What’s in your heart, I mean.”

He found a pillow and slipped it under her hips, then got in position and entered her slowly. Nothing felt better than this, this union of their bodies, and with any luck, their hearts and souls, too. When he was comfortably inside her, he gave her a slow, languid kiss. There was no rush. No rush to showing her how he felt about her, even if he was already enjoying how good she felt way too much already.

Something very vulnerable was in her eyes as he gently thrust in and out of her, and no wonder. She was letting him inside her body, letting him enter her and connect with her on the deepest level possible. That took a lot of trust, and she was very brave to allow him the pleasure. 

He wanted to show her. Show her that he was here for her, that he would always love her and protect her. He was around her and in her, keeping her grounded but making her float, kissing her and treasuring her as they marveled at the strange but wonderful thing that was happening between them. 

“I love you,” he said, the words simple but heartfelt. He’d said it after sex before, but she needed to hear it during sex, too. Needed to know this was an act of love, that the buildup was as important to him as the release, that every moment inside of her was precious to him. 

Her lower lip trembled, and she was the one who pulled him down for a kiss this time. She wrapped her legs around him, guiding his movements as she clung to him. When she finally came and he followed soon afterwards, she started crying. Just wept and sobbed as he held her and reassured her and told her he loved her and would always be there for her. 

She wiped her eyes and kissed him, and man, was he getting sleepy. His brain was steeped in the chemical cocktail his release had provided, and everything felt so good and right. Kairi was in his arms and he was still inside her, he loved her and always wanted to be with her, she was so warm and he was so comfy and…

* * *

Kairi woke up to feel the bed shifting. She opened one eye, and what she saw made her heart sink. Sora was hurriedly gathering his clothes, and she watched as he stole out of her room like he was her lover instead of her husband. Like he had to sneak around when he had every right to sleep in her bed and in her arms. 

Why would he leave after he had promised to stay with her? What was all that about opening his heart to her when he kept a part of himself closed off in the end?

When she was sure he was gone and she’d given him enough time to fall asleep, she went to the shower and turned the water on so no one could hear her crying her eyes out. 

It didn’t matter what he said. He would never change. She was setting herself up for disappointment, hoping he could. It didn’t matter how much good sex they had or what exciting things they got to experience together or what new ways he found to worm inside her heart. At the end of the day, she was, and always would be, alone.

Her thoughts went to their breakup. To the day she had broken things off with him because she couldn’t bear the distance between them any longer. Then the Master of Masters had put his final plan into action soon afterwards, and everything had spiraled out of control from there. This reminded her of that awful time, and how she wished she could put this all behind her. 

“Kairi!” Sora had said as she’d watched his Keyblade Armor disappear. He had a big grin on his face, and he flung his arms around her and held her tight. She halfheartedly returned the hug, what she knew she had to say weighing heavily on her mind.

“Welcome home,” was all she managed to get out, and the words nearly stuck in her throat as it was.

“It’s good to be back,” he said as he released her and found her hand, placing her lucky charm in it. “Kai, I don’t ever want to go on a mission that keeps me away from you for so long again.”

“Two years is an awfully long time,” she agreed. He’d missed two of her birthdays, including her twentieth birthday, and she’d missed his birthdays, too. Even though their coming-of-age ceremony was when they had turned eighteen because of the law change, old traditions die hard, and most people from Destiny Islands still celebrated their twentieth birthdays as something special, too. 

Yet another part of each other’s lives they had missed. 

They strolled along the beach as Sora happily chatted away about his latest mission, but she hardly heard a word he said. Her stomach was churning, thinking about what she had to say. 

He finally noticed that she’d barely said anything. He stopped and found her other hand, too. 

“Kairi? What is it?” he asked, his face perfectly serious as he searched hers. 

“Sora, this isn’t easy for me to say, but I… I want us to take a break.”

There it was, hanging solid and heavy between them. The sun was setting and the waves were lapping against the shore, but the air was thick like a fog had surrounded everything. 

A part of her wanted to grab the words and take them back, force them down her throat. Maybe that would calm her roiling stomach, which was currently threatening to hurl up the rice and shrimp she’d eaten for dinner earlier.

But there was no undoing what she’d just done, no unsaying what she’d just said. Sora’s face cycled through several different emotions, none of which she wanted to see. He released her hands, and she lowered them to her sides.

“Kairi, what are you saying?” he finally managed, his tone conveying his disbelief. He forced a smile, but his voice shook and his hands shook and he was too fragile, he couldn’t take this, _ she _couldn’t take this—

“I said, I want us to take a break,” she repeated, but it didn’t seem like her voice at all, it was like it was coming from somewhere far away and it sounded all wrong and distorted and hollow.

“But why? I just got back, I thought you’d want to spend time with me.”

Her hand went to her necklace, and she avoided his eyes. “I can’t—I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

She took a deep breath. If she was saying she wanted a break, the least he deserved was an explanation. Otherwise this whole breakup would be for nothing. No, it would be worse than nothing.

“I can’t be in a relationship where I never get to see my boyfriend.” 

He tried to touch her arm, but she shrugged it away. “Kairi—”

“I tried. I tried so hard, for years and years. I told myself that it would be okay, because we would be together in the end. But we’re never together, and I can’t take it anymore.” 

His brows scrunched up. “But we _ will _ be together this time, I promise—”

“No! Enough promises. I’m sick of hearing them. They don’t mean anything if you can’t keep them.”

“But I will keep them, I swear.” 

An awful lump built in her throat and her voice felt all thick and she was dangerously close to losing it, she couldn’t lose it, she had to keep it together, had to be strong—

“Why?” she choked out. “What have I ever done to deserve this level of devotion?”

Even when she was trying to take a break from him, he was still showing how much he cared, and that just made it so much worse. 

He paused, his face stricken. “Is that what this is? You don’t think you’re worthy of me? Kairi, if anything, it’s the other way around.”

“What?! How can you even say that? You have done so much for so many people. You’ve mended all the hurt Xehanort caused. And now you’re leading the fight against the Master of Masters. What have I done that could possibly compare?”

His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. “Kairi, what? You’re a Princess of Heart, your light is what’s sustaining the worlds—”

Her hands balled into fists. “That’s who I am, not what I’ve done. I didn’t choose to be a Princess of Heart! I didn’t choose any of this!”

She didn’t want to be a Princess of Heart. She didn’t want the weight of the worlds to rest on Sora’s shoulders. She just wanted them to be normal, to be free to live the sorts of lives they chose instead of having fate drop their destinies in their laps. Maybe then they could have a shot at true happiness together. As things were now, she couldn’t picture a happily ever after for them. 

“But you chose me,” he said quietly. “You chose me, even though there’s nothing special about me.”

Enough with this “I’m nothing special" business. Kairi felt sick to her stomach at it.

“How can you even say that?” she demanded. “Of course I chose you. You’re the kindest, most caring person I’ve ever met!”

“But you want to break up with me?” he asked, his voice wavering, his eyes disbelieving.

This wasn’t going at all how she’d wanted it to go. The smart thing to do would be to just leave right now. She’d given him her explanation already. Anything more was just unnecessary. The longer she talked to him, the more likely she was to lose her resolve.

“Kairi, why?” he pleaded, and she hated that awful hurt look in his eyes. 

“Because… because you _ are _ so kind and caring. You want to help everyone, and I want you to help everyone. I can’t ask you to stop fighting, it would be the worst kind of selfishness. And I can’t stop fighting either. I have a duty to fulfill, and so do you. But I can’t be in a relationship with someone I never get to see.” 

“Then I’ll do it. I’ll stop fighting. I’ll stop fighting if it means I get to be with you.”

She shook her head. “No. I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you put our relationship over the wellbeing of everyone else.” Taking a deep breath, she placed her lucky charm in his hand. “We’ll still see each other every now and then when our missions coincide, we just won’t have any obligations to each other. I want you to be able to follow your heart, wherever that may lead.”

“And if it leads me right back to you?” he asked, his fingers curling around the charm, but she didn’t answer him. “Kairi, you mean everything to me. Without you, I—”

“It’s over, Sora.”

Even as she said the words, she wondered who she was trying to convince. Tears were shining in his eyes now, and she felt like crying herself. 

“I can fix this,” he choked out. “I promise I’ll make more time for you—”

“Don't. Please. You’ve already done too much for me as it is.”

He was crying now, and she couldn’t take this anymore. Sora was normally so upbeat and cheerful. Watching him break down like this was too much to bear.

Especially because this was all her fault. Her vision got blurry as she fought back tears.

“This is what’s best for everyone,” she sniffed. “I just want to do the right thing.” 

He stared at the charm, then looked at her again, the tears streaming down his cheeks. She had to force herself not to hug him when every cell in her body begged her to. 

“Kairi please, I’ll do anything—”

She burst into tears. “That’s the problem! You’ve torn yourself apart again and again for me, and I can’t bear to watch you do it anymore. You deserve so much more, I want the worlds for you—”

“But I don’t want the worlds, I want you.”

She just stood there and sobbed. She knew she was the one breaking up with him, but it still felt like someone was tearing her heart out, too.

He tried touching her arm again. “Kairi—”

She turned on her heels and fled. Because if she stayed a moment longer, she knew he would convince her to stay with him. And as much as her heart wanted that, she had to do what was best for everyone in the long run. 

His heartbroken sobs as she ran from him almost made her change her mind.

The memory of his sobs matched her sobs now as the water continued to pour down on her. Even though they were married now, they were still facing the same issues. She was still scared of him abandoning her. A part of her still wanted to shut down and run away from him like she had that awful day. And after watching him leave her again tonight, that urge was a lot stronger. 

She didn’t want to bail on him, but she wanted to protect herself. She had to. Her heart couldn’t take another abandonment. Not again.

She was back in survival mode, and how she wished she wasn’t.

* * *

Sora was a little bummed that their wonderful time alone together was over already. One day just wasn’t enough. He needed a whole lifetime with Kairi, and even then it still might not be good enough. 

She was a little quiet this morning, but he figured it was because she was tired. Yesterday had been intense for them both, what with the sightseeing and multiple rounds of sex and all the emotional stuff they’d talked about.

But the sex last night? Wow, incredible. He really felt like he’d gotten through to her, like they were making real progress together. Too bad he’d been an idiot and had fallen asleep on top of her. When he was asleep, he had no way of controlling his darkness, and that was just asking for trouble. It was lucky he had woken up and gone back to his room before anything bad had happened.

“Can I carry anything for you?” he asked as she gathered her things. 

“Thank you, but I think I can manage,” she said as she lifted her bags herself, including a small shopping bag with some clothes and jewelry he’d gotten for her yesterday.

With that it was back to the grind. She was quiet on the ride back home as he steered them through the stars on his private Gummi Ship, quiet enough to make him uncomfortable. He had to pay attention to his driving though, so now wasn’t the time to ask her what was on her mind.

When they got back to Mare Caelestis, it was late in the afternoon. As the engines of the Gummi Ship powered down, he turned to look at her.

“Kairi, thank you for going with me.”

“Of course,” she said stiffly, avoiding his eyes.

The walls were back up, and he didn’t know why. 

“Beloved, what’s wrong?”

She hesitated. “I… Can we talk about this tonight after dinner, maybe? I think I need some time to myself to think things over.”

“Of course.”

But they didn’t talk about it that night. Kairi said she was too tired after dinner and went straight to bed. 

Sora didn’t know what to do with himself in the few hours before he went to bed, too. Normally those hours would be spent with Kairi or attending to any emergencies that had popped up, but… for once, he didn’t have anything that was demanding his attention. 

Well, maybe he could spar with Octavius or Alma. He went to his room to change his clothes when the darkness spoke to him out of the mirror.

“She doesn’t love you.”

He bristled and glared at it. “She doesn’t have to.” 

“How many times have you poured your heart out to her, only for her to say nothing in return?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll just pour it out some more.”

“What if it’s not good enough? What if you’re not good enough? What if that’s why she’s not talking to you right now? She’s always been a nice person. She’s always wanted to spare other people’s feelings. This is her way of trying to tell you she’s not interested—”

“Enough,” Sora ground out. He couldn’t be alone with himself right now. So he marched down the hall to her room and knocked on the door. 

“Kairi, please, it’s me,” he said. “I know you’re upset with me right now, and I don’t know why, but I can’t… I can’t let this come between us. Please, whatever’s troubling you, tell me. I promise I’ll listen, even if it hurts.”

The door opened, and Kairi’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. His heart started aching like he was the one who had been crying instead, and he held out his arms. She burst into tears and flung herself into his embrace, and he did his best to comfort her. When she had calmed down some, he gently led her inside the room and closed the door behind them for some privacy.

“I started my period today,” she choked out between sobs.

“What, like that makes your feelings any less important?” He led her to the bed and got her to lie down. “Do you need anything? Medicine? A hot water bottle?”

“I’ll be okay,” she sniffed. “I just don’t like feeling so achy and bloated.”

He held his hand out for a moment, then remembered that he still couldn’t use his healing magic.

“I hope you feel better soon,” he said as he brushed back the clumps of hair from her face, hoping she didn’t realize what he’d been trying to do. No need to remind her that his heart wasn’t completely whole yet. 

“Other than your period being a jerk,” he added, “is there anything else on your mind?”

“I…”

He waited patiently for her to continue as he gently stroked her belly, massaging the areas he knew felt best for her when she was cramping. Maybe he couldn’t use his light magic, but this at least he could do. 

“You know what?” he said. “I’ll go get you some stuff to help you feel better, and that’ll give you time to think about what you want to say. How’s that sound?”

She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “That sounds good.”

With that he took off and went to the kitchen to gather supplies. Fruits and veggies and things with a lot of iron in them to make up for the nutrients she was losing. Chocolate, too, because she loved chocolate. And both a cold water bottle to keep her from getting dehydrated and a hot water bottle wrapped in a fuzzy sock with a mouse on it to help with the cramps, courtesy of Dr. Valens.

When he came back, he made sure she got to eat and drink to her heart’s content as he held the hot water bottle in place and did what he could to make her feel more comfortable. 

“Better?” he asked.

“Much better.” She took another bite out of the chocolate, and he made a mental note to make sure there was always a supply available for her. When she was through eating and drinking, he took her hands in his.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind? What’s troubling your heart?”

He waited patiently for her to gather up the courage to speak.

“Why won’t you sleep with me?” she blurted out. 

“Huh?” 

What did she mean? They’d been having a ton of sex lately.

Oh. Did she mean when she was on her period? They hadn’t really tried that before, but there was a first time for everything… 

“Well, we can try having sex right now, if it’ll make you feel any better,” he said, though it might take him a while to get in the mood. A distraught wife wasn’t exactly doing it for him. 

“No, I don’t mean that, I mean… why won’t you sleep in my bed? You always leave after we have sex, and…” 

Her lower lip quivered, and it felt like someone had just dropped a lead weight on his heart. 

He gathered her in his arms and held her as she clung to him. “Kairi, I’m sorry. You feel like I’m using you and then abandoning you, don’t you? Like I just get myself off with your body and then leave you behind when I’ve had my fill.”

“Yes,” she choked out, and even though her answer hurt, he was grateful she was being honest with him. 

“That’s not how it is at all. I always leave after sex because I can’t risk falling asleep in your bed next to you. When I’m awake, I have full control over myself and over the darkness. But when I’m asleep, I can’t protect you from it. If it decided to attack you, I don’t know that I could stop it. Believe me, if it was up to me, I’d spend every night with you in my arms.”

This just made her cry harder, and Sora held her and comforted her as best as he could. His hatred for the darkness grew a little more for finding yet another way to bring Kairi pain, for trying to destroy the intimacy they shared. 

“Isn’t there something we can do?” she said. “Isn’t there something we can do about the darkness once and for all? I want to go home, Sora. I want to go back to Destiny Islands to be with our friends.”

Sora pulled away from her and swept a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know. Ruling isn’t really what I want to be doing, either. I’m only here because of you. I only stayed to be with you. Everything I’ve done since landing on this world has been for you.”

That at least was probably safe to say. So long as he didn’t give her the details, she couldn’t pry too deeply. And he really did want her to realize how much he cared.

She stopped crying and stared at him. “You what?”

He nodded. “It’s true.”

She thought for a few moments, and then her mouth opened as she put two and two together. “You really did all this... for me?”

Her voice was soft, disbelieving. Like speaking any louder would make her words false.

He hesitated a moment, then cupped her face in his hands. “I would do anything for you, Kairi.”

His voice cracked, and she started tearing up again. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she realized his joke the night of the Bonfire Festival hadn’t been a joke at all. The reality of this world had been staring her in the face this whole time. It was in the name, Mare Caelestis. Heavenly sea. Expressing his bond with her, his love for her. 

“Sora, this world… you made it for me, didn’t you? The beautiful blue sea. The grand castle, the picturesque town, nestled between the mountains and the shore. The flowers, the buildings, the scenery, the festivals, everything. All for me. An entire world created just for me.” 

Right now he felt ancient. Like the weight of the worlds rested on his shoulders, an eternity of grief and pain. 

“Yes. The people here needed a new home, so I made it in honor of you. In memory of you. I thought I’d lost you for good. I never thought you’d get to see it. But then you marched back into my life at the autumn festival, and never have I ever been so glad to be wrong.” 

She put her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. “Oh, Sora.”

As he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair, he hoped she understood a little better how deep his love for her ran. Grasped a little more clearly the kind of heart that would drive him to create an entire world for her. 

“Anything for you, my beloved,” he said, hoping with all his heart she believed him.

After they’d cuddled some more, they reached a compromise: he would spend more time with her post-sex, help her get cleaned up, maybe even stay with her till she fell asleep, but he would still be sleeping in his own bed. Until his darkness was under control for good, it was the best arrangement they could come up with.

Leaving her after she fell asleep in his arms that night made his stomach churn and his heart heavy, even if she had agreed to it. As he kissed her forehead, he hoped with all his heart that someday, somehow, she would get to fall asleep in his arms and wake up next to him the next morning, too.

Someday, he and Kairi would be free to love each other fully and completely, and he would do whatever it took to reach that point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, teasing, oral sex, PIV sex. Kairi remembers back to when she broke up with Sora, and Sora comforts her when she's on her period. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Thanks for the comments and kudos, and I hope you all are hanging in there okay. 
> 
> For this chapter, I really wanted to contrast Kairi remembering their breakup in the past with Sora bringing them close together in the present day. The story up till now has referenced the breakup on and off, and I wanted to show what led to it and what the two of them are doing now to repair their relationship. 
> 
> I'll see you next week!


	26. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi’s birthday was near the end of May, and Sora wanted to make it as special as possible for her. The best time to make preparations was after dinner… but that was when he usually spent time with her. Sometimes relaxing, sometimes doing various activities together, almost always culminating in sex unless one of them wasn’t in the mood. Things were going really well between them. But that meant that his preparations got pushed till late at night.

Oh well. Worth it for her.

Then a few days before her birthday, they were eating dinner together, a delicious crunchy noodle dish, when she spoke up.

“My king? I’d love to go for a ride tonight.”

“Sure, I’ll arrange it.”

It had been a while since they’d gone horseback riding. Their horses probably missed them. 

When he came to her door later that night, dressed in his riding habit and gear, he was surprised to see she was only wearing a bathrobe.

“Huh? I thought you said you wanted to go for a ride.”

She grinned and brushed her hands over his chest, then pulled him down to her height.

“I never said I wanted to ride my horse,” she murmured in his ear. “What I really want is to ride my royal steed.”

Dammit, that line was actually sort of working. Kairi smiled slyly and squeezed his dick, and it really started working.

“Still,” she added, “thank you for getting all dressed up. Those tight pants are really doing things for me.”

“You know, if you weren’t as ridiculously attractive as you are, that pick up line would never work on me.”

She giggled. “Yeah, I know. It sounded better in my head. Now get in my room, you’re not wearing your appropriate riding attire yet.”

"Oh really? And what would that be?"

"Your bare skin."

She really seemed to enjoy undressing him that night, and when he removed her bathrobe, she was wearing new lingerie he hadn’t seen before. It was blue and lacy with bows and ribbons and looked great with her stockings and garters. 

She giggled. “Like it?”

“Like it? Kairi, I love it.”

Their lovemaking that night was fun, playful. She took charge this time, riding him as he played with her boobs and admired her body with a huge grin on his face. He was glad she was comfortable enough with him now to assert her needs and desires like this. Plus it was just a big turn on in general for her to take so much pleasure from his body. 

As they cuddled afterwards with his head resting on her chest and her fingers running through his hair, he decided to be more open about his desires.

“Kairi?”

“Mmm-hmmm?”

“That was really good.”

He lifted his head to look at her, and she gave him a sleepy smile. 

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“I like it when you take charge like that.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. In fact… at some point…” He paused and took a deep breath. “Okay, promise you won’t laugh.”

This was something he wanted, but it was making him blush all the same, sharing one of his fantasies with Kairi.

Her expression softened. “I won’t.” 

“I’d really like it if you took full control of me sometime and just used my body to get yourself off.” 

Her breath caught and her cheeks flushed. That was a good sign, and it gave him the courage to continue. 

“Maybe we could get handcuffs or something so I can’t move as easily. Just imagine, you could have me chained to your bed and at your mercy for however long you want. That would be fun, don’t you think?”

“That does sound fun,” she agreed, and he grinned. She was actually okay with trying this? Awesome!

“I do have some caveats though,” she said with a frown, and even though his heart sank a little, he nodded. It was only fair that she set some boundaries. 

“First is that I don’t want to hurt you, emotionally or physically. I’ll tease you and edge you, but only if it doesn’t cross the line.”

That was what she was worried about? He relaxed as he gently stroked her arm. “Agreed.” As much as he loved her teasing, he didn’t want her to hurt him either. And more importantly, he didn’t want to ask her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

“Second is that you tell me the moment you’re not having fun anymore, just like I tell you if I’m worried about your darkness. Even if you think I’m enjoying myself, the moment you’re not, I need to know.”

“Of course. I’ll say ‘light’ if anything ever crosses the line.”

She relaxed. “Okay, good. I just… I never want to hurt you, Sora.”

“I know,” he said softly. “It’s because I trust you so much that I’m even asking for this. I don’t really know why I’m into this kind of thing, but… maybe it’s because for years the fate of the worlds rested on my shoulders. It was my responsibility to take care of everyone, my duty to protect everything. And to do that, I had to use my body as a weapon, as a tool. But I don’t want it to be a weapon anymore. I want it to bring life and healing instead of death and destruction. I want it to make you feel good, to bring you pleasure. I’ve had too much control for too long, and I don’t want that control anymore. I want to rest. Rest and relax and let the one person I trust more than anything take care of me for a little while, if that would please her too.” 

He looked into her eyes, and she nodded. “It would,” she said, very quietly. 

“I’m yours then, Kairi,” he said as he rested his head over her heart. “My body is in your hands.”

She was silent for a few moments before saying, “I think this is the most wholesome conversation I’ve ever had about something that should’ve been kinky.”

He laughed and nuzzled her boobs. “Would you expect anything else from me?”

“No, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get what you mean, about the control stuff, but I’m… I’m the opposite. For years I didn’t feel like I had any control. Not over my fate, and not over my own body. I lost it, and then I got kidnapped twice. The second time led to my death, and there was nothing I could do to prevent that. I was roughhoused and manhandled by my kidnappers and my murderer, and they were all a lot stronger than me.” 

Sora’s throat got tight as he thought about everything she’d been through, of all the heartache and pain he couldn’t prevent.

“But when I’m with you,” she said, stroking his hair, “it’s different. I know how strong you are. I know you could easily crush me. But you don’t ever use that strength against me. For once in my life there’s a man who’s always gentle and tender with me, who allows me to use his body for my pleasure, who gives me control instead of taking it away from me. And… it feels nice to have some of that control back. Better than it should.”

“No, beloved, there’s no ‘better’ here, just what makes us feel good.”

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his head. “Thank you.”

They cuddled for a little while longer, then Sora helped her get cleaned up and tucked her into bed.

“Want me to stay till you fall asleep?” he asked.

“It’s okay,” she murmured sleepily. “I’m sure you’ve got birthday stuff to work on.”

“Guilty as charged,” he told her, then kissed her and turned out the light.

In the hallway, he ran into Alma, which was perfect because there were a few more things he needed to talk to her about. Together, they were gonna make Kairi’s birthday the best it could possibly be.

* * *

Kairi woke up the morning of her birthday to her bed creaking and the delicious scent of bacon, scrambled eggs, and cinnamon toast reaching her nose. Rolling over, she was greeted by her husband’s smiling face just inches from hers.

“Morning, Kairi! Happy Birthday!” 

His eyes were shining, and he planted a quick kiss on her lips. She pulled him back for a deeper kiss, and he was happy to oblige. Soon things were getting good and his hands were sliding up her nightgown.

“Before I continue, I should let you know that I made you breakfast,” he said, indicating the tray he’d rolled in to the side of the bed. “Maybe you’d like to eat first?”

“I thought you’d want your breakfast first,” she teased. “But you’re right, I don’t want all that food you made for me getting cold.” 

She dug in, and it was as delicious as it looked and smelled. The bacon was perfectly crispy and the eggs were scrambled just right and the cinnamon toast wasn’t too crispy and it wasn’t too soft, it was just the right texture. 

When she was through, she sprawled out on the bed and spread her legs. “Time for your breakfast now,” she said lazily, and Sora grinned and got to work. As she ran her fingers through his hair and he spared a moment to look up at her, she sighed in contentment. She could get used to getting pampered like this, especially because he seemed to enjoy it as much as she did. 

“You know,” she said as he cuddled with her afterwards, “that was my first time getting attention from you as a twenty-two year old.” 

“I hope it was as good as all the other times.” 

“It was. But I wouldn’t complain if you were up for round two.”

“If my beloved wishes it.”

“She does.”

“Then her wish is my command.”

He scooted back down between her legs, and before long was carrying her through her second climax of the day. Afterwards she was feeling relaxed and content and very close to him as they cuddled some more. 

“Take a bath with me,” she murmured in between kisses, and he scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom with him. They spent ages in the tub making out and touching each other before they even got around to actually washing themselves. 

His eyes were still green and had been since their trip. The color suited him well, even if she still missed the old blue from time to time. But that only came out when he was at his most vulnerable, and right now was nice and loving but not anything they weren’t already comfortable with. How wonderful it was that they were this comfortable with each other though. Taking a bath with him felt normal now when a part of her had feared they’d never reach this point. 

He got out of the tub first and got dressed, and she sighed as she admired how handsome he looked in his vest and shirt and slacks. He grinned as he caught her staring at him.

“Enjoying the view, are we?” he teased. 

“Yes.”

“I thought you’d enjoy it more if I was taking my clothes off, not putting them on.”

“Mmmm,” she said as she played with the water, “it’s like… watching you get dressed, I know I’m the only one who gets to see you do that. And I know I’ll get to enjoy taking your clothes off later, too.” 

“I hope you do,” he said as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Plus you just look handsome no matter what you’re wearing. I can’t help but admire you.”

He stopped looking at himself in the mirror and turned around. “Kairi, it’s your birthday. I’m the one who’s supposed to be making you feel good. And yet here you are, complimenting me.” He shook his head and grinned. “How did I ever get so lucky as to meet you?”

“I could say the same about meeting you,” she said, and his smile got bigger as he grabbed a spare towel. He held it out for her as she stepped out of the bath, then wrapped her up in it and held her tight. 

“Thank you for spending time with me,” he murmured in her ear, then kissed her cheek. 

“Of course. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend my birthday with.”

“That’s good to hear, because I have something special prepared for us today. Well, more like several special somethings.” He turned her around and kissed her, then told her, “Check your closet when I’m gone. There’s something in there I think you’ll like.”

With one more kiss on the forehead, he wheeled the food cart out of her room, leaving her to discover whatever it was he’d left in the closet.

It was a dress like the one she’d worn on their last real date together before getting separated by Sora’s long mission. The outer tulle fabric of the skirt was peach colored, and the inner layer was yellow, leading to a lovely effect when she twirled. Sora had taken her dancing on the beach, which was how they’d wound up making out on the sand, wishing desperately they didn’t have to wait one more day to make love. 

He must’ve had Cornelia make it. He remembered that night and the dress well enough to get the details pretty accurate, too. She slipped it on along with a pair of matching ballet flats with a  _ Happy Birthday  _ note from Julia tucked into the soles. 

Alma came in afterwards carrying nail polish and makeup and hair accessories and other things to pamper Kairi with. 

“Happy Birthday, Kairi!” she said, her eyes sparkling as she set the goodies on Kairi’s bed. Kairi bit her lip but said nothing. Would Alma really want to sit there knowing what she and Sora had been up to earlier? 

“Thank you, Alma.”

“I figured we could doll you up for today. What do you think?”

Kairi softened. Alma looked so excited and pleased with her idea, how could she say no? 

The two women spent the next hour or so getting Kairi’s makeup and hair and nails just right. They chatted and giggled about all sorts of things, and before she knew it Alma was handing her a mirror.

“What do you think?” she asked.

Her hand fluttered to her cheek. “Alma, I look beautiful.”

Her makeup was just heavy enough to pop but not so heavy it looked unnatural. Her lips looked fuller than normal and her cheeks had just the right shade of blush, and the eyeshadow on her eyes matched her dress nicely and brought out its accents. Her nails shone with carefully applied polish that looked great with the dress, too. Her hair was curled in gentle waves with half of it pulled back, and the entire look was carefully held in place by hairspray and pins and a beautiful barrette. 

“Yes, you do.” She swept a stray strand of hair behind Kairi’s ear. “Wait till everyone sees you.” 

Kairi blushed at the thought of Sora seeing her, wearing the dress from that night and looking as fancy as she did. Would he be tender and romantic, or would he get turned on and just go straight to teasing her?

“Alma, can I ask you something?” she said as she twisted her ring around her finger. 

“Sure.”

“You’re married too, aren’t you? I mean, you’re wearing a ring.”

“I am,” Alma said with a dreamy smile as she glanced at it. 

“Then maybe you could tell me… is it normal to think about my husband so much?” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well… I can’t get Sora out of my head. I feel like it’s bordering on obsession at this point. I’m always looking forward to the next time I can see his beautiful face, the next time we can be together, the next time we can make love. I’m distracted and flustered all the time and nothing else seems as important as being with him. I feel like I’m being irresponsible with my duties as queen.”

Alma gave her a knowing smile and just shook her head. “Kairi, you’re not being irresponsible.”

“I’m not?”

“No. Can’t you see what’s going on?”

Kairi shook her head.

“You’re in love.”

Her face flushed hot and she ducked her head. “O-oh. You really think so?”

“I know so. After my husband and I got married, we barely left our bedroom for days, that’s how much we were enjoying ourselves. Our… adopted son was worried about us at first, but then he just got exasperated.” She smiled at the memory. “Truth be told, I think he really just missed my cooking. And don’t worry, he was plenty old enough to take care of himself. I call him my son, but he’s more like my younger brother.”

“Oh, I see. I hope I can meet him sometime.” This was the first time Alma had really opened up about her family, and it was nice to hear about them. But Kairi had something else gnawing away at her heart she wanted to ask about too.

“Does it ever go away? This feeling, I mean?” she asked softly. Scary as it was, she didn’t want it to go away. She wanted to be with Sora like this always. 

“Hmmm, ‘go away’ isn’t the right term. It will grow and change though. You won’t stay in the honeymoon phase forever, but what follows is just as wonderful. I’m more in love with my husband now than I was when we first got married. The spark is still there, but it’s a steady flame now. I know it’s not going anywhere, and that trust and security really helps our love flourish.”

“Trust, huh?” Kairi sighed as she stared at her ring. That was what was missing. Sora was right. She was still afraid of him abandoning her. “What if… what if you thought your husband would abandon you? What if he had abandoned you in the past?”

“We were actually separated for a very long time,” Alma said, and her voice was heavy. “But being with him again eased the pain of that separation. We know the future’s uncertain, so we do our best to enjoy every day together.”

“I wish I could be like that,” Kairi said sadly. “But I can’t. As happy as I am right now, at the back of my mind, there’s always this nagging thought that he’ll abandon me again.”

“Have you told him that?” 

“Yes, and he understands. But I hate how it’s coming between us. I hate how it makes it difficult for me to be intimate with him. I can’t open my heart up to him the way he opens his heart up to me. It’s too scary. It hurts too much. We can make love all day long and I still see it in his eyes, how he’s craving something I can’t give him. He keeps searching for it and hoping for it, and I keep letting him down.”

Kairi’s shoulders slumped, and Alma pursed her lips. “Clearly, he does think you can give it to him, otherwise he wouldn’t keep searching.”

“But what if I can’t? What if I can’t ever love him the way he loves me?” she said as she sniffed and nearly wiped her eyes before thinking about all the carefully applied makeup. 

“Kairi, I think that’s your problem. You think the way he loves should be the way you love. Is that really true though? What if your love for him looks different than his love for you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when you look at my husband and I, we’re different in how we naturally express affection. I tend to make him gifts and do things for him, but he just wants to spend time with me and hold me. Once we figured that out, it was easier to express our love in a way the other person would understand.” 

That made sense. But then… how would Sora best understand how she felt about him? What would be the best way to reach his heart?

Well, they could figure that out together. Today was her birthday, and she wanted to focus on spending it with the person she cared about most in the worlds. The rest would hopefully come later.

* * *

Sora hosted a birthday luncheon in her honor in the grand banquet hall with lots of fun spring decorations. There were brightly-colored flowers in potted plants for the centerpieces of the tables, and delicious finger sandwiches and cookies and lemonade for refreshments.

And best of all, the luncheon was just the right length. Kairi got to see everyone she wanted to see and mingle with everyone she wanted to mingle with before Sora bid their guests farewell and swept her away. 

“Where are we going?” she asked as he led her through the halls of the castle, decorated for her birthday with colorful banners.

“You’ll see.”

Octavius was waiting for them at the entrance of the ballroom, and he flashed them a grin as he opened the door. 

“Remember, no interruptions unless it’s an emergency,” Sora instructed.

“Roger that.”

The lights had been dimmed in the ballroom, and strands of golden light were hanging from the balcony, the walls, pretty much everywhere they could be hung. It looked magical, and a smile spread across Kairi’s face as she took it all in. 

“Because you’re my light,” Sora said. “Happy Birthday, Kairi.” 

She threw her arms around him, and he laughed softly as he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her head. 

“Beloved, this is only the beginning of what I have in store for you.”

She leaned back a little so she could look in his eyes. Beautiful and green and filled with affection for her. 

“Thank you,” she said, then planted a chaste kiss on his lips. “Mind if I take a moment to take it all in?”

“Not at all.” 

She marveled at all the work that had gone into this, the shimmering glitter on the floors and tables, the sparkling lights that cast everything in a romantic glow.

When she finally made her way back to him, he grinned and held his hand out. “May I have this dance?”

She nodded, and he brought her into his arms right as the music began. It was the same song they’d danced to that last night together, the same song that had played for their first dance at their wedding. Sora effortlessly led her around the ballroom, gazing lovingly into her eyes the entire time he did. Everything else seemed to melt away as she focused on him and what he was so tenderly offering her. 

She sighed and rested her head against his chest as they swayed to the music. With a start she realized he was singing. She looked up into his eyes, and he gave her a quick peck on the nose before continuing. The song really was fitting for them, talking about dreams and lingering on after the stars had faded, the singer waiting to be with her beloved till they could kiss. 

For the last part of the song, Kairi joined in and sang the words of the song along with Sora. It had become their song after she’d listened to it endlessly in Sora’s absence, the lyrics speaking to her heart in a time when so many people weren’t sure how to express their sympathy. When he’d returned, she’d shown it to him, and the rest was history. 

As the song wound down, Sora gently lowered her into a dip. When he brought her back to her feet, she cupped his face and kissed him deeply. Her thoughts went to their first kiss, how long she’d waited for it and how wonderful it had been despite their inexperience. What a simple pleasure it was to kiss him. 

“Sora,” she said when it was over, her hand resting on his chest and her eyes searching his. “Thank you.”

“For what?” 

“Everything.” She thought over Alma’s words, about showing Sora how she felt in a way he would understand. He deserved to feel loved after everything he’d done for her.

But her heart fluttered and her throat went dry as she clenched and unclenched the fabric of his vest. Try as she might, she couldn’t get the words to come out. They got stuck in her throat and made her lightheaded and woozy. 

Her mind went back to that last night, that last night when she’d told him those three words, only for him to leave her again. Those words were cursed. The moment she uttered them, he’d get torn away from her again. She just couldn’t bring herself to say them. What a failure she was. Three simple words would make him happier than anything else in the worlds, and she couldn’t even manage that for him. 

He seemed to sense her unease and gently pried her hand away from his vest. “C’mon, Kairi, there’s something else I wanna show you. Follow me.”

She did, hating the part of her that was relieved she didn’t have to say it. What was so awful about telling him three simple words? This was Sora, and he loved her with all his heart. Always had, and probably always would. 

And maybe that was the problem. Whatever it was she was feeling, whatever it was that was in her heart, it would always pale in comparison to the love Sora had for her. 

He should be with someone who could love him the way he deserved to be loved. But until then, she would do her best to make him happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, oral sex (cunnilingus), PIV sex. Sora and Kairi have a discussion about their preferences. Silly puns abound. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Thank you for sticking with this story, and sorry for the hiatus. I'm feeling better now, so posting should resume as per normal. This chapter is the first of about three that cover Kairi's birthday, because I figured Sora would want to make it special for her much like she made his birthday special.
> 
> Your comments and encouragement over the last several weeks were very kind and helpful, and I hope you're all hanging in there okay. You don't know what it means to me to hear from you all, and I really appreciate your support and feedback. Have a good week!


	27. The Secret Wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi held Sora’s hand the whole time he led her through the halls of the castle. His grip was steady and firm, and every now and then he glanced back at her with an excited grin on his face. Whatever it was he had planned, he was looking forward to her seeing it.

They went outside, into one of the castle’s many gardens. It was the one with the fountain with the two lovers, their hearts pierced by Cupid’s arrows. The place where Sora had officially proposed to her. She stared at the fountain as she mulled over what it represented. Sora was certainly lovesick, and his heart had been pierced by Cupid’s arrow, but what about hers? 

Her thoughts wandered to what she’d told Alma earlier. How she couldn’t get Sora out of her head. But of course. It was a chemical high, intense but not meant to last. Who was to say what might follow? Right now the sex was great, spending time with him was great, but what would happen when the fireworks faded?

Maybe all these intense feelings  _ were  _ because of all the sex they were having. Her body was addicted to his, to the pleasure he’d gotten very good at giving her. 

That must be why her feelings paled compared to his. He loved her with everything he had; she was making half-hearted attempts to return his feelings while she enjoyed using his body to get herself off. She needed to tell him what was going on. It would be cruel to keep using him like this. 

She let go of his hand and fiddled with her necklace. “Sora, before we do whatever it is you have planned… there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

Maybe now wasn’t a good time. It was her birthday, after all, but Sora was probably hoping they’d have sex, and she was, too. Best to talk about this before that happened so he knew what he was getting himself into. 

“I think… I feel like I’m… enjoying sex with you too much.”

He laughed and cupped her cheeks. “And how is that a bad thing?”

“It’s bad because my heart should be more involved! I feel like I’m just using you!” 

“Well, maybe I want to be used,” he teased as he rubbed their noses together. “In fact, I’m hoping to try some of those things we put on our list tonight.” He leaned closer and murmured in her ear, “You know which ones.”

Kairi’s face flushed. Oh yes, the list. After their conversation about handcuffing Sora to her bed sometime, he had asked her to write down as many things she wanted to try with him as she could think of. Then he’d asked her to write all of her fantasies, even the ones she was afraid he might not like. He’d done the same, and together they’d compiled a new list of things they both wanted to try. 

“Kairi,” he said, more seriously this time, “I’m just happy to be here with you. Why are you ashamed of enjoying sex? There’s nothing wrong with letting loose and having fun with me. In fact, it’s a pretty big compliment to me that you do enjoy our lovemaking so much.”

“That’s not what I’m ashamed of,” she said, avoiding his eyes. “I… I’m ashamed that I enjoy sex with a part of my heart closed off. Especially with how you pour your whole heart into everything.” 

“Stop comparing yourself to me, then. We’ll figure out what’s going on with your heart together. For now I want you to enjoy everything I have to offer.” He cupped her face again, but more gently this time. “Beloved, I want to do this for you. You aren’t tricking me or fooling me. You aren’t deceiving me or hurting me. I know what I’ve gotten myself into, and I’m happy to be here.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. Tonight, I want you to relax and enjoy yourself. And enjoy me, too, if that’s what you’re craving.”

She took a deep breath. “It is,” she finally admitted, and a big smile lit up his face. 

“There we go,” he said. “Man is it a turn on to know you desire me.”

“Well, I do.”

“Say it louder, then.” 

Something about the sparkle in his eyes and his teasing tone made her bold. 

“My husband’s hot, and we’re going to have awesome sex tonight!” she shouted. “You’re all just jealous of how many times he’s going to make me come!”

He burst out laughing and planted a quick kiss on her lips. “That’s the spirit! Pretty sure we scandalized at least a couple of people just now. Totally worth it though.”

“Totally.”

He found her hand and held out his free hand. His Keyblade materialized in it, and she couldn’t help but gasp. It looked so much better than it had all those months ago when he’d opened the portal to this realm. Only a few pieces of it were still missing. 

“See? Almost completely back to normal,” he said as he pointed it at a spot between one of the benches and the fountain. A portal opened up, and Kairi could make out a very green-looking area inside. “After you,” he said, and still holding his hand, she led them through it. 

Her eyes went wide as she took in the scenery around her. They were in a small meadow surrounded by a forest. All throughout the meadow were beautiful wildflowers of all different shapes and sizes, and a lone cherry tree sat smack in the middle of it, its flowers on the cusp of blooming.  Nearby was a pool like the one by the Secret Place back home, complete with a brook bubbling into it as the water went over the small cliff above it. A gentle breeze washed over them, and the hint of pine needles wafted to her nose. Birds were chirping from the trees all around them, and Kairi’s eyes settled on a cozy-looking log cabin nearby. Smoke rose from the chimney, and she took a deep breath and sighed.

“Do you like it?” Sora asked, his voice a little unsure as he carefully studied her face. 

“Like it? I love it,” she said with a dreamy smile as she let go of his hand and ran a little further ahead.

“Good, because I made it just for you.”

She skittered to a halt as she looked around again. This place… it looked like her dream. Sora had recreated it with an astonishing degree of accuracy. Or maybe the dream had been a sign of things to come. 

“Sora? You really—”

“I did. I tried to make it as much like your drawing as I could. I wanted a place for us to spend some time alone together.”

She grabbed his hand and raced over to the door of the log cabin. There was a little  _ Welcome Home _ mat at its entrance and a matching sign on the door.

“And the cabin?”

He grinned. “Built it with my own two hands. Although… Octavius might’ve helped a little. But mainly with the heavy lifting.”

She smiled and led Sora inside, and there was a cozy fireplace with a comfy-looking couch and coffee table stacked with puzzles and games. The bookshelves against the wall had some of her favorite books, and a corner of the room had an easel set up and art supplies on a table nearby—paper and pencils and paint and erasers and all sorts of other useful materials. 

A quick glance into the room nearby revealed a bed big enough for the two of them. The room was decorated nicely, with matching furniture and blankets and pillows, dark-stained wood and lots of navy blues and forest greens. The cabin had a spacious kitchen perfect for cooking and a fully functioning bathroom, too, with a big tub and separate shower. There was even a little nook for laundry. 

“Sora, I love it. It’s perfect!”

She kissed him on the cheek, and he grinned. “Happy Birthday, Kairi,” he said, clearly pleased that she was pleased. 

“Where is this place?”

“I’m not really sure. It doesn’t seem to be in Kingdom Hearts proper, but it’s not in the Realm of Light, either.”

Oh, right. He still probably couldn’t set foot in the Realm of Light. Not until his heart was fully balanced. Fully restored to the way it should be. 

“I sort of made it by unsealing… something. Just held my Keyblade out and imagined what I wanted it to be.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, wanna take a walk outside?”

“Of course.”

“There are camping supplies in the closet too, if we ever wanna rough it. I figured you’d like to have options.”

“You really thought of everything.”

“Well, Alma had some suggestions,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Couldn’t have done it without her and Octavius. And of course Dr. Valens insisted I stash a first aid kit somewhere.”

“Of course. Who knows what we might run into.”

Kairi sighed as she led Sora around, wanting to discover as much as she could about this place. She was grateful her ballet flats were so comfortable and that her dress was nice and breezy. Together they explored the woods surrounding the cabin and the area around the pool before settling underneath the cherry tree in the meadow. Sora went to grab a blanket and some towels from the cabin so they could sit down without worrying about getting their clothes dirty.

“Thank you,” she said as he held her in his arms with his back against the tree. “I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my birthday than with you.”

Something flickered out of the corner of her eye, and she gasped in delight. It was a patch of asters she hadn’t noticed before, one of her favorite types of flowers. She scooted over to get a closer look at them. Their petals were perfect, vivid purple radiating out of their tiny yellow centers.

“Sora, look! Aren’t they beautiful?” she cried, glancing back at him over her shoulder. His face was flushing red, and there was a shy look in his eyes that was uncharacteristic of his usual boldness. When she turned back around to look at the flowers again, even more had sprung up. “Huh? I could’ve sworn these weren’t here before.”

Not like she was about to complain, though. She loved seeing so many flowers in one place. 

“Um, this place is magic, so stuff like this might happen…” Sora trailed off, and she scrambled back to him. 

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

She laughed and gave him a peck on the cheek. “I love it!”

When she pulled away from him, she noticed a crop of forget-me-nots had popped up behind them, with their beautiful blue petals and yellow centers. 

“I think I know what’s triggering it,” she said softly, then pulled him back in for a deep, sensuous kiss. Sure enough, when they had parted, a bush with red roses was now growing near the cherry tree. 

“You said you wanted to show me what was in your heart, didn’t you?” she said softly. “Well, I think you got your wish.” 

“I didn’t mean for—” He just looked at her, his face red, his eyes looking a little more blue than green. “Do you like it?” he finally said, his voice low and a little shaky.

“Like it?” She cupped his face in her hands. “Sora, I love it.”

She kissed him again, as sensuously as possible, flicking her tongue inside his mouth and nibbling on his lower lip as he moaned softly. Her eyes flew open just in time to watch a whole crop of flowers pop up around them, and she stopped and giggled as he covered his face with his hands. 

“Why are you embarrassed?” she asked as she gently tugged his hands away from his face. “This is amazing!” 

Even more flowers popped up as he searched her eyes. “You really mean it?” he asked. “You don’t think this is too corny or over the top?”

“It’s over the top in the best possible way. Now lie back, I want to see what kinds of flowers I can get to appear.”

He did, and she picked a few nearby flowers and wove them into his hair. “My king, you really are beautiful, you know that?” she said as she admired him with a sigh. Some violets sprung up around them, and he lifted his hand to her face and caressed her cheek.

“So are you,” he said, and some white chrysanthemums popped up nearby. He tilted his head to glance around, a smile spreading across his face as he did. “And I don’t think I’m the only one these flowers are responding to.”

“Yes, it definitely looks like the wood is responding to me.”

“Yeah, and it sure is pretty,” Sora said as he glanced towards where their cabin was and listened to the birds chirping.

“It is, but I wasn’t talking about that wood,” she teased as her gaze flickered to which wood she was talking about. 

Sora sputtered and turned red again. “Okay, yes, sue me, I’m getting turned on after getting complimented by my very beautiful wife. It happens more often than I let on.”

“No hiding your feelings here though.” She glanced up at the cherry tree. Its flowers were now in full bloom. What would it take to cover him in their soft petals? 

“You bring me joy like no one else I’ve ever known,” she said, and a breeze filled with the scent of flowers picked up and made the blooms sway. “The sound of your laughter is the most beautiful sound to me in all the worlds.” 

The breeze got stronger and the air was filled with petals. They rained down on top of him till he was thoroughly blanketed with them and giggling with joy. Suddenly his head popped up, scattering petals everywhere, and he laughed so freely that Kairi’s heart skipped a beat. This was the man she’d fallen in love with all those years ago. This was the man she was so desperately in love with all over again. Alma was right. There could be no more denying her feelings, and the ones coursing through her heart right now were so intense they almost hurt. 

“Beloved, come here,” Sora said, holding his arms out to her. “I can’t stand to see you watching me from the sidelines. Not for one more second.”

She hesitated, then moved close enough for him to hug her tightly. He kissed her cheek and rubbed his nose against hers, then murmured in her ear, “Take my clothes off, please. You’ve made such a nice bed of flowers for us, it would be a shame to let it go to waste.”

Her fingers trembled as she got first his vest off and then his shirt. He was grinning at her the whole time with a big dreamy smile on his face. She couldn’t even tease him like she had earlier as she freed his erection from his pants and boxers. She wanted him too badly for that. 

As soon as he was completely naked, he grabbed her face and kissed her softly before she could do anything else, then turned her around so he could start undressing her. She heard the zipper of her dress unzip, then felt Sora’s soft lips on her back as the top half of the dress slipped off and piled around her waist. She whimpered at how overwhelming everything already felt, and a cactus of all things, complete with flowers, popped up near the pool. 

Next he unhooked her bra, then reached his arms around her and cupped her breasts, massaging them just the way she liked as he kissed the sensitive spots on her neck. Some yellow camellias sprung up near them, and more cherry blossom petals came to rest on her head. 

“Arms above your head,” he told her, and he lifted the dress along with its tulle skirt off of her with ease. Nothing was left but her underwear, and that he soon slipped off of her. 

She turned around, and she could hardly look him in the eye. He was staring at her with such love and desire that it was overwhelming. She had the urge to slip her dress back on, which was silly because they’d made love countless times at this point and Sora had seen her naked plenty of times before, what was the big deal?

He put a finger under her chin and gently lifted it. His smile was bright and his eyes were tender and looking even more blue. He closed his eyes and leaned in, waiting for her to meet his kiss, and she did. 

They kissed for a while, soft and slow with lots of touching in between. And of course when they finally broke away from each other, there were even more flowers around them. Sora laughed and pulled her in for another kiss as he wrapped his arms around her. 

The cherry tree lent them so many additional petals after that kiss that Kairi giggled as Sora said, “We better get it on soon. We went through all the trouble of getting naked, we can’t let the flowers cover us up again.”

More blooms rained down on them, and Kairi sighed wistfully. 

“I don’t want this to end,” she said. “This feels like the closest thing to heaven.”

“We’re not leaving. Not till I’ve sent you to heaven at least three times.”

“So long as you go with me.”

“I will. Now lay back.”

She did, taking a deep breath as Sora gently parted her legs. The bed of petals felt so nice, and the air was filled with the scent of all the beautiful flowers that had sprung up around them. Sora’s hair tickled her skin as he kissed her thighs, slowly warming her up as her arousal grew and grew. He paced himself perfectly, working her up to her climax little by little. She focused on all the sensations he was giving her, on how exquisite he felt as he made out with her lips, sucked and licked and kissed her clit, made love to her with his tongue. 

Her fingers curled around the petals and her hips lifted off the ground as she went over the edge with a soft cry. Then she sighed and relaxed as she came back down to earth. Sora gave her a few more kisses, then dutifully cleaned her up before looking up at her with a grin. A few petals were sticking to his face, but before she could clean them off for him, it started raining. It was a warm summer rain, soft and gentle, and Sora’s grin got bigger as her already flushed skin flushed darker.

“I’m really making it rain today, aren’t I?” he teased. “Wonder if I could make the whole place flood.”

“S-Sora!” 

“What?” he said, his mirth and amusement written all over his face. “It would be worth trying, don’t you think?”

“And ruin that lovely log cabin you built for us?”

“I made this place, remember? I can set it back to rights if I need to.”

Kairi just shook her head and sat up so she could pick the petals off Sora’s face. But before she could, he cupped her face and kissed her, and she let herself melt into the kiss. Nothing like a romantic kiss in the rain. 

The rain eventually died down, and in the meantime, Sora had taken to worshipping her body. He kissed her all over, then focused on her breasts, licking and sucking and lightly nibbling on them as she ran her fingers through his damp hair.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded, his voice husky. But she grabbed his hand and guided him to her instead, then began fucking herself on his fingers. Only then did she start playing with herself as well, and it wasn’t long before she felt her second climax coming. Her face scrunched up and her mouth dropped open as it did, and her cries got louder and louder as Sora pushed her higher and higher. Instead of tapering off, her orgasm just got more and more intense till it was almost unbearable.

But then it was finally over, and she slumped back against the ground, completely spent. Sora slid his fingers out of her and sucked them clean as she tried to catch her breath. The gentle summer rain had started up again, and red and white poppies had quite literally popped up all around them. 

She held out her arms when she had recovered enough, and Sora snuggled into them and rested his head on her chest. She wrapped her legs around him and held him there, murmuring tender things to him as she kissed his head. About how he was a good husband and lover, about how he knew just how to please her because he’d put so much effort into learning what she liked. 

He was in full puppy dog mode, basking in her compliments as she basked in the afterglow of her climaxes. He nuzzled her breasts and kissed every part of her skin he could reach. She could sense his hunger and desire as he did everything he could to please her. She was feeling relaxed and content, but he was still aching for some sort of release.

And when the rain had tapered off again, it was her turn to give it to him. “Get up,” she said softly, and he did, his eyes trusting but expectant. She gently pushed him onto his back, then straddled him. He groaned as she rubbed against his rock hard cock with a teasing grin. But no way was she going to make it that easy. No, she was going to have fun with him first. 

She kissed him deeply, then trailed her kisses down his neck as she continued to rub herself against him. When he tried to push into her, though, she lifted her hips off of him, making him whimper.

“Not yet,” she said as he looked up at her in confusion. 

“Kairi, please, I need to feel you—” he moaned, his eyes wild. 

“You will. Soon. I just want to make this as good for you as possible.”

Teasing him as mercilessly as possible was, in fact, one of the things on their list, and if she cracked at the first sign of distress from him, they were never going to get very far. 

“Sora, trust me,” she said softly, and he relaxed. 

“You’re right. I do trust you, Kairi.” He smiled and brushed his fingers through her hair. “Make this as good for me as possible. No, make it good for both of us.”

“I will,” she promised, then trailed her kisses to his chest, spending lots of time there to kiss and suck and nibble on his nipples. His moans were well worth the extra effort, and she added in her fingernails to really get him going. 

Then she continued on to his stomach, and before long she was getting close to his cock. But just as he was expecting her to reach it, she bypassed it entirely and kissed his thighs instead. His moans of frustration were absolutely delicious to hear, and she slowly worked her way down to his calves. 

“Fucking hell, Kairi, really?” he asked with a groan. She just giggled and spent extra time massaging them and kissing them before working her way back up to his thighs. She could feel him tense with anticipation, expecting her to reach his cock soon, hoping she would finally give it some attention. His tip was already glistening, and she was so very tempted to lick it for him.

But instead she worked her way back up to his chest, making him grunt and groan as primroses started blooming all around them.

“Kairi, I swear—”

“To whom?” she asked sweetly. “Yourself? To me, your beautiful wife?” 

Some choice words came out of his mouth at that, and she laughed. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know!” 

“What do you want, then?” she murmured as she massaged his thighs, then let her tongue flick over one of his balls. He yelped, and she pulled away and smiled sweetly, waiting for his answer.

“Enough of this. Go down on me. Now.” 

Oh my. Hearing him command her so bluntly was doing things for her. 

“Your wish is my command,” she said as sultrily as she could manage, then played with his balls and licked them some more.

“Kairi—”

She cut him off by taking his cock inside her mouth all at once. He gasped and arched his back, his toes curling and his body tensing up. She shot him a triumphant look and glanced at the yellow poppies that had just popped up everywhere, then focused on giving him a blowjob that would blow his mind. The sounds he was making right now were absolutely worth all of the teasing beforehand, and it wasn’t long before she felt him get harder in her mouth, his cock starting to throb as he got close to the edge. 

She could try deepthroating him, but there was something else on their list she wanted to try, too, something that didn’t have a high risk of making her throw up. Glancing up into his eyes, she removed his cock from her mouth and aimed it right between her boobs. He groaned as he realized what was about to happen, and she grinned and jerked him off until he came all over her chest. A spurt of his come even hit her in the face, and she giggled and swiped it onto her fingers so she could lick it off of them. 

Sora was a breathless sweaty mess, and she grinned as she started playing with herself as he watched. He was too tired right now to help, and getting him off like that had really turned her on. More of those yellow poppies had popped up, and she couldn’t help but snicker. Oh, her blowjob had been a success alright. That success was still dripping off of her, and she could tell by the look in Sora’s eyes that he would be asking her to do this again for him. 

Once his breathing had calmed down, he reached for one of the towels and gently cleaned her up. The tenderness and care he was showing her warmed her heart, and once he was through, she figured it was time to try something else on their list, if he was up for it. 

“Sora?”

“Yes, beloved?”

“Can we try something else on the list?”

“Sure.”

She took a deep breath and crawled over him, carefully positioning herself over his face. Now it was time to wait. Did he want this, or—

She squealed as his tongue darted up and teased her clit. He pulled her down so he could get better access to everything, and she was practically sitting on his face as his arms curled around her thighs and his hands grabbed at her butt and he started fucking her with his tongue. 

It wasn’t so different than normal oral, really, except she felt so much more powerful, sitting on him like this with complete control over how well he could please her, and even if he could please her. Some part of her deep down enjoyed that level of control very much. It scared her and excited her, and she couldn’t help it when her hips started to roll, allowing his tongue to reach even deeper inside her. Before long she was fucking his face into a powerful climax for her as they both gasped and moaned. 

When it was over, she extracted herself from him as he panted for air, then slid down to his chest and rested her head next to his heart. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “Holy shit.” 

She giggled and looked into his eyes. “That good, huh?”

“Yes. Fuck that was hot. Your scent was everywhere, you were enveloping me and your weight was pressing down on me and you were using me to get yourself off and it was  _ awesome. _ ” He leaned back a little and took a few deep breaths. “I’m still a little lightheaded, hang on—”

She planted several gentle kisses on his chest as he recovered, enjoying the summer rain that fell on them once more. 

“Is this what it feels like to be drunk on someone?” he finally asked, his voice steadier now as he looked at her with such affection in his eyes. “Because I think I’m drunk on you. I can’t get enough of you, Kairi. Not now, not ever.”

She stared at him, looking at her like he meant every word that he said, and tears welled up in her eyes. It was all too much, all too overwhelming. Oh God, she loved him. She loved this man who was so kind and gentle, so willing to please her, so willing to pour everything out for her, and she loved him so much it scared her. And worse, he loved her so much he would die for her.

His beautiful features twisted into a frown. “Beloved, what’s wrong?” he asked as her tears mingled with the rain. 

“I’m scared,” she said as she wiped her eyes and sniffed. 

“Of what? Getting abandoned? Getting hurt?”

“Yes. But more than that, I’m scared of hurting you. You shouldn’t love me. You shouldn’t.”

“But I do,” he said as he cupped her face and wiped the rest of her tears away.

“I don’t understand why. I’ve been nothing but a disappointment for you.”

“Says who?”

“I can’t love you the way you love me. Something inside of me’s broken. You’re not the heartless one, I am.”

“And you know how I know that’s not true?” he said as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“How?”

“You’re heartbroken over the prospect of not loving me the way I love you. And you have to have a heart to feel that way. You have to care.”

She teetered on the edge as she considered his words. Maybe he was right. Maybe what she felt for him wasn’t so different from what he felt for her. 

But she needed proof. She wiped his face off and kissed him, then told him, “Make love to me. Please.” She teased him, and she felt his body respond. He hadn’t been inside her yet this evening, and she knew he had to be aching for her by now. “I know you want to.”

He frowned, clearly not convinced. “You sure? We can wait till you’re feeling better.”

“I need to know something, Sora. Please.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is this something we should talk about?” 

“That depends,” she said as she rubbed against him some more, teasing the tip of his cock with her entrance.

“On what?”

“On how our lovemaking goes.”

“If you’re really okay with this. And we will talk about it afterwards. No more shutting me out.”

“Deal.” 

She touched him some more, then lowered herself onto him and sighed deeply. He’d slipped into her completely smoothly. This was so good, so right. She grabbed his hands and brought them to her hips so he’d have more control. So she could focus on opening her heart up to him completely. He had that look in his eyes again, that vulnerable, searching look. Instead of withdrawing from him, she tried her best to stay open. To be equally vulnerable as they shared their bodies with each other.

With some extra stimulation from him, it wasn’t long before she came, but he managed to hold himself back. Whatever they were both seeking they hadn’t found, and neither of them wanted to break the connection yet. She paused to let them both recover, and when he was ready, he gently rolled her onto her back. Her breath caught as he resumed their lovemaking, the look in his eyes so intense it was almost too much to bear. And yet she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him either. His heart and soul were on the line, and she wanted to cherish him with everything she had.

He thrust into her till they were as close as two people could possibly be. He was buried deep inside her, and he brought his lips to hers in a sweet kiss. She wrapped her arms and legs around him to show him they were together in this, moving as one as they chased after love.

He reached it first, she could see it in his eyes. But of course. He was the one who’d had a crush on her first, had fallen for her first, had proved his love for her first. Was it any surprise he was ready to spill his heart out to her first, too?

“Kairi, I love you,” he choked out, like his heart was breaking. His eyes were blue and they were right on the cusp, right on the edge of what they were searching for, so close she could feel it—

And then she went over the edge, bringing him along with her. The moment was over, the chance was gone as their bodies pushed their hearts out of the way and took over. Moans of pleasure from them both as he finished inside her, twitching and pulsing as she clamped onto him and he filled her up. Coming together like that felt fantastic, like they were both spurring each other on, and she never wanted it to end. 

Then as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. The summer rain was warm on her face and the whole meadow was filled with flowers as they held each other. Sunflowers and red roses and forget-me-nots and red camellias. 

Seven times in one day. He’d made her come seven times in one day, and only the last time had he come with her. She clung to him and stared into his eyes, wanting his love, wanting to drink in as much of it as she could. And his contented smile told her he was happy to allow her.

She cradled his face in her hands as they basked in the afterglow together. The sunshine was warm on their skin, and their bed of flowers was soft and the wind was gentle. They hadn’t quite found what they were searching for yet, but for now, she would allow herself to rest in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Touching, making out, teasing, fingering, cunnilingus, facesitting, blowjobs (Sora finishes on Kairi's chest), Kairi touches herself, PIV sex. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you've had a good week. I'm really grateful for how kind and supportive you've been with your comments, it really means a lot to me! I hope you're all doing well. 
> 
> For this chapter I had a lot of fun playing around with the language of flowers to show what Sora and Kairi were feeling from moment to moment. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	28. Stalemate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Sora held Kairi and sighed. If only they could be like this always. Lying naked in each other’s arms in a meadow full of beautiful flowers under one of his favorite kinds of trees.

“Beloved, that was wonderful,” he said as he planted a kiss on her forehead. Their lovemaking had come a long way from their awkward first time. Though that in its own way had still been special. To be fair, though, pretty much any time spent with Kairi was special.

“It was, but…” 

She hesitated, and he waited patiently for her to work up the courage to continue. Whatever she had to say, he wanted to hear it. 

“I still held back,” she confessed. “I tried not to, but I did.” 

“Why do you think that happened?” he gently asked. He’d felt it; he’d felt them come so close to breaking through that final wall, and then bam, just like that, their chance was gone. 

But they’d come at the same time, and that was pretty awesome, so… tradeoffs. Her heart would fully open when it was ready. 

“I just… I felt so overwhelmed. The way you were looking at me, it laid me bare. I felt… unworthy.”

He frowned. “Unworthy?”

“I guess, what I mean is… I don’t understand why you love me. I don’t understand why you would make a whole world for me, and then this place from my dream, too. I don’t understand why you’re so willing to share your power with me when you could easily rule alone. Why me when you could be with anyone you want? Surely you’d be happier with someone else.”

He fought the frustration bubbling up inside him. “Kairi, is your heart really so blind to love that you can’t see the truth staring you in the face? I don’t  _ want  _ anyone else. You’re the one I want to be with. You. Always you. Only you.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Why can’t you accept that? One moment you’re basking in my love, and the next you’re pushing me away. I don’t know what to do.”

Good grief, what else  _ could  _ he do? Did she really think he would tell just anyone he loved them? Make love to just anyone as often as possible? Pour out his heart over and over on a whim? 

“I just… don’t see how I’m special. What have I ever done to deserve your love?”

“That’s not how love works and you know it. It isn’t earned, it’s freely given. And besides, you  _ are _ special. There are so many things I love about you.” He smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “Let’s see… your smile, the way you tease me, your kindness, how nice you are to kids, your gentleness with animals, your sass, how beautiful your eyes are when the moonlight shines in them, how stunning you look both when you get all dressed up and when I’ve taken all your clothes off, your passion when you’re following your heart—”

“But I’ve hurt you.”

He sighed deeply. “And I’ve hurt you too. It’s the cost of opening your heart to someone else, and it’s worth the pain.”

Or at least he thought so, but this was not what she wanted to hear. Her face scrunched up and she shook her head.

“You don’t understand. My feelings have never compared to yours. They’ve always been inadequate. I’ve never loved you as much as you’ve loved me. You were the one who sacrificed yourself twice to save me, and the second time killed you. Sure, I kept you alive, sort of, and turned you human again, sort of. But I never had to sacrifice myself for you the way you have for me. How could anything I feel possibly hope to compare to what you feel for me?”

Was that how she saw their relationship? Had she been dealing with all this pressure ever since their relationship had ever begun? Octavius’s words rang through his head. Sure sounded like she was unfavorably comparing herself to him and how he showed love, just like Octavius had warned him not to. No wonder she was so upset.

“Beloved,” he said as he stroked her hair, “don’t compare yourself to me. There’s only sadness and misery down that path. You’re you, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“That’s what Alma told me. But all I can think of is the story of the knight and princess. The knight always dies for the princess, but she never has to prove her love for him, just like I’ve never had to prove my love for you!”

He hesitated. “Maybe I don’t need proof.” Not the kind Kairi was thinking of, anyway. 

“Yes, you do! You want me to love you the way you love me. That’s natural. That’s human. But what if I can’t? What if I can never love you the way you love me? I’ve hurt you enough and I’m sick of doing it, so please, just… stop. Stop loving me. Stop hurting yourself.”

She was crying now, and he took a few deep breaths. Whatever he said next, he’d need to choose his words carefully.

“Okay, first of all, I can’t stop loving you. Not now, not ever.” 

“Really?” she asked as she wiped her eyes.

“Really really. I know the first time I said that wasn’t in the best of circumstances, but it’s still true.”

Her face scrunched up. “That fight was awful, but I’m glad we worked through it.”

“We did, didn’t we? And we can do the same with this.” 

“Yeah.”

“And now that we’ve gotten the whole ‘will I ever stop loving you’ business cleared up and out of the way, let’s talk about the other stuff.”

She nodded. “Okay.” 

“You’re scared of hurting me. That’s fair. It’s happened before, and it’s probably gonna happen again. But you know what? I’m okay with that, because I know we’ll work through it together. Besides, the fact that you’re afraid of hurting me? The fact that you don’t want to hurt me? That alone shows me you care more about me than I could ever have hoped.” He wiped her tears away and cupped her face. “Sometimes love doesn’t look like what we expect it to.” 

“Maybe so, but I do know one thing about love,” she said as she sniffed. “It isn’t selfish, and whatever I’m feeling right now is.”

“How so?”

“I want to stay here with you forever. I don’t want you to be king. I don’t want you to go back to the Realm of Light, either. I don’t want you to go back to a life of fighting. And you know why? Because I want to keep you all to myself. Tell me, how is that anything but the worst kind of selfishness?” 

“Kairi, if being with me is ‘selfish,’ then please, by all means, be as selfish as your heart desires. In what world is it selfish for a wife to want to be with her husband?” 

“In our world, Sora. We’re different. We’re special. We have Keyblades, and I’m a Princess of Heart, and that means there’s always someone else we could help. Something else we could do.”

He shook his head. “No. I’m through with that life. There won’t be any more fighting. Our battle is over. We won. We’ve passed the mantle on. The worlds are in good hands. And now it’s time we enjoy our hard-earned peace. I want to plan our future together. I want to start a family with you.”

Kairi’s lips parted and her eyes went wide. He couldn’t believe he’d just said that, either. Talk about bad timing. She was already feeling enough pressure as it was, and then he’d sprung  _ that  _ on her? Damn, he’d really screwed up this time. 

“Not right now!” he blurted out. “Not for several years at least! I just meant someday, in the future, maybe, if you want to, I know you don’t right now because you’re on birth control and I can’t blame you, we’re young and I’m still not fully myself yet and for a long time I thought I was too much of a monster to be a good father anyway and—”

She covered his hand with her mouth. “Enough,” she said softly. “It’s a conversation we need to have, and I’ve put it off for too long.” She removed her hand and continued. “The truth is, Sora, I do want to have children with you someday. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, especially after we started building the new orphanage. You’d be a good father, and I’d be honored to bear your children.” 

His brain tried to process all this new information. Kairi wanted to have kids with him? She thought he would be a good father? She wanted to start a family with him someday? She wanted to bear his children? 

Well duh, they were married. If she was gonna have kids, who else would be their father?

“Um, you’d be a great mom,” was all he managed to get out with his brain as stuck as it was. He could already picture her with their little ones, playing with them and smiling at them the way only she could.

She smiled briefly, but then a frown crossed her face. “I didn’t allow myself to think about it too much because we’re young… and because of the darkness in your heart. I have a duty to free you from it. Or at least that’s what I told myself. Now I can see I avoided talking to you about it because I was scared. I knew how much you want to be a father, and I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I was scared I’d disappoint you again, and… I couldn’t bear to let that happen. Truth be told, I’m still scared of disappointing you, because I still don’t feel ready.”

“That’s okay,” he told her, and he meant it with all his heart. “I’ll wait until you’re ready.” 

“But what if I’m never ready?”

Oh boy, she’d found another thing to beat herself up over. As she looked in his eyes with guilt written all over her face, he knew it was about time to change the subject. 

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves,” he said. “Before any talk of kids entering the picture, we need to focus on us.”

She nodded, a look of pure relief coming over her face. “Agreed.”

“And what that means, right now, is that you let me love you. No pressure. No strings attached. Just open your heart up and accept my love. You’ve already let me inside your body, but I want to have a place inside your heart, too. I know it’s tempting to recoil and shut yourself off when all this intimacy stuff gets scary, but… try to stay open to me for as long as you can, okay?”

She was getting a little teary, but she told him what he wanted to hear. “Okay. It  _ is _ scary, but the closeness with you is worth it.”

“Glad to hear that.” He snuggled into her chest and sighed. He wanted to be as close to her heart as he could be. Its gentle thud reached his ears, and it was so hypnotic he nearly fell asleep.

“Sora?”

“Yes, beloved?”

“Tell me you love me. Please. It… it helps. It helps me stay close to you.”

He glanced up at her, and his expression softened as he saw the look on her face. “Of course. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it.”

She started crying as he said the three simple words over and over again, and he got a little choked up, too. Watching her try to accept his love was as healing for him as it was for her. Still, a part of him deep down hoped she would say the words back to him, longed to hear some sort of confirmation of her feelings… but there was none. She wasn’t ready yet, and he wouldn’t push her, no matter how much his heart was aching for her love. 

Kairi, as sensitive as she was to other people’s feelings, sensed his disappointment. 

“Sora—”

He just kissed her. There was nothing else he could say, and anything she might say right now would feel coerced. Would come from pity instead of love. 

As he pulled away, she tried again. “Sora, I’ll do everything I can to—”

He shook his head. “No. I want you to do what  _ you  _ want to do. What your heart wants you to do. I love you for who you are. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.”

She glanced at her wedding ring. “This  _ is _ what I want,” she said softly. “Heart of my heart, flesh of my flesh, Sora. I want to reach the point where there are no more walls between us.” 

His heart warmed a little, hearing her recite the words of their wedding vows. “So long as that’s what your heart wants.”

“It is.”

They just gazed at each other for a few moments, and Sora sighed. But then it struck him that they were kinda gross and sticky from everything still, and he glanced at the pool.

“Well, we could chill here for a little while longer in postcoital bliss,  _ or _ we could go to that perfectly nice pool over there and clean up, seeing as how we’re both still kind of a mess.”

She giggled. “Postcoital bliss, huh? That’s a phrase I’ve never heard you use before.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I had good grades in English class until my education was interrupted and Naminé gave me brain damage.” He glanced around and called out, “Sorry, Naminé, no offense, you know I don’t really mean it. I have no one to blame but myself for my lazy bum tendencies.” 

Kairi giggled again, and he grinned and rubbed noses with her. “So, what do you say? Wanna go rinse off together? It’s been ages since I’ve had a nice swim.”

She scrambled to her feet. “Sounds good. Race you there.” 

She had a head start on him, but he was faster, and in the end, they wound up stumbling into the water together, yelping over how cold it was. But their bodies adjusted, and soon they were enjoying a nice swim together, helping the other person get cleaned off in the meantime. 

“How’d you get come in your hair?” Kairi asked, perplexed, as she combed her fingers through it. “Your come, I mean.” 

“My guess is that it dripped off of you when you were sitting on my face.” 

“Mmmm, that was pretty hot, wasn’t it?” she said as she chewed on her lower lip and scooped water over his head.

“It was.” 

He closed his eyes and relived the scenario in his head. He could almost taste and smell her again as he imagined her sitting on his face and coating him with her delicious wetness. Probably helped that she was, in fact, right beside him still. 

“Good thing this water’s cold instead of hot though,” he added as he opened his eyes and smirked. “It would be a disaster to try to get all of my come off of you otherwise.”

He chuckled as she playfully splashed water over him. “Hey, you liked getting it all over me, admit it,” she said. 

“I did. That was one of the hottest things you’ve ever done for me.”

That was gonna be in his fantasies for a long time, her grinning and giggling as his come drenched her perfect boobs and dripped down her chest. The animal part of his brain couldn’t help but enjoy marking her like that, marking her as his. And when she’d swiped the part that had gotten on her face and had licked it off her fingers? Gulp. 

“And on your birthday, too,” he added. “Sheesh, you’d think it was my birthday instead. I’ve gotta get you to stop pampering me so much. I’ll be spoiled rotten at this rate. Still though, it was nice. Thank you. Thank you for spending so much time with me.” 

“No, thank you for making today such a lovely birthday.” She took a deep breath. “And… thank you for loving me.”

“Anything for you, Kairi.” 

They got dressed after that. Or, to be more precise, Kairi got dressed, and he only got his boxers and pants on before he realized she was still kinda cold from their swim. So he wrapped his shirt around her and grabbed his vest but didn’t put it on.

“What is it?” he asked as she pulled the shirt tighter and stared at his bare chest. 

“Oh, nothing. This just… reminds me of our wedding night. Even then you were still looking out for me. You could’ve left me with nothing to wear, but you didn’t. You gave me the shirt off your back and went without one instead.”

“Of course I did,” he said softly. “I’m your husband, and I promised to take care of you.” 

They said goodbye to the Secret Wood for now, as Kairi had dubbed it, and reemerged in the castle garden next to the lovers’ fountain. It was dark outside and very late now, and after a quick snack, Sora walked her to her room and lingered at her door a little longer than usual. 

“What is it?” she asked. 

“Oh, nothing. This just reminds me of all the wonderful memories we’ve made together.” 

She smiled and kissed him. “Tuck me in?”

“Always.” 

She got ready for bed as he patiently waited for her. To his surprise, she had removed the dress but not his shirt, choosing to wear it as a nightgown instead. Something about seeing her wear his clothing like that when she wanted to feel safe and secure broke something in him.

“Sora?”

“I’m okay,” he said as he wiped his eyes. “I’m just… happy you feel so safe with me.” 

That was part of it, but that wasn’t all of it. The truth was, he was jealous. Of a shirt. Of a stupid shirt. Jealous because it would get to hold Kairi all night long. Jealous because she would sleep in its arms instead of in his arms. 

But if he told her that, she’d ask him to stay, and he wouldn’t be able to resist her. The darkness was almost gone, but he had felt it enough today to know that even now he wasn’t completely safe. It preyed on his doubt and insecurity, his desperation for her love. He could tell her he’d be patient. He could tell her he would wait. But the truth of the matter was, his heart was crying out for hers. Begging her to succor it in a way that only she could. But her love couldn’t be forced. It had to come naturally, from her heart. Otherwise it wouldn’t be love at all.

And so long as the darkness had his loneliness and desperation to feed on, it would never go away completely. It would make it difficult for her to love him, too. 

They’d reached a stalemate, and he had no idea how to get past it. 

* * *

In her dreams, Kairi found herself back in the white room, seated at the table across from Naminé. The windows were open and the curtains fluttered, letting in a cool night breeze, and she wondered if the weather in the real Twilight Town matched this.

“Hello, Kairi,” Naminé said with a twinkle in her eye. “I have some good news.”

“You do?”

Naminé pressed her fingers together and smiled. “The portal is complete. We’ve given it a few test runs, too. Which means… you can come home now.”

“I can?” Kairi asked as her eyes went wide. 

“Yes, if you so desire.”

Her mind spun at this revelation. She could come home now? She could leave this stressful life of ruling behind? Sure, she would miss the new friends she’d made, but—

“But what about Sora?

Naminé’s face fell a little. “Regretfully, he isn’t ready yet. His heart still isn’t balanced, and it must be for him to return to the Realm of Light.”

“I won’t leave without him.”

Naminé gave her a rueful smile. “I thought you might say that.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I do want to come home. Especially after you and the rest of our friends have worked so hard to make a way for us. But I can’t without Sora. It wouldn’t be home without him. And… I made a vow to him. I promised I’d stick with him, no matter what.” 

“I understand.”

Kairi stood and grasped the edge of the table. “Naminé, please tell me, is there anything I can do to help him? Anything I can do to restore his heart fully?”

“He’s very close to being whole again. There’s just one more thing he’s missing.”

“What is it?”

Naminé hesitated. “If I told you, it might make it impossible for him to get that piece of his heart back. I can’t risk your chances now, not when he’s made it this far.”

Kairi slumped back into her chair. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? It’s because I don’t love him the way I should.”

“Kairi,” Naminé said gently, “I don’t think that’s the problem. Matters of the heart are always delicate, and there’s no easy answer or solution. And you can’t force yourself to feel anything. Just let it come naturally.” 

Kairi sighed. “I get it. I’ll do what I can to help him. And tell everyone thank you for all their help.”

“Of course.”

With that, Kairi was alone. The breeze made Naminé’s drawings flutter all over the place, and one of them caught her eye. She hadn’t seen this one before, and she stooped to pick it up. It was of Sora, his face twisted in pain as a great darkness tore into his heart, and—

“No!” 

She gasped as he snatched it out of her fingers and tore it into pieces. His hands were shaking as he did, his knuckles turning white. The pieces floated in the air for a few moments before being swept out the window by a cold wind. 

“Sora?”

How had he even gotten in here? This was her dream, right? 

The sky outside turned dark and thunder rumbled through the air. He slammed the window shut and whirled around to face her. 

“You can’t ever know—you can’t ever see—” he choked out, his eyes flashing from green to yellow.

“Know what?”

“Naminé, stop, please—” he begged. “Don’t let her see—”

And just like that, the dream was over. Kairi’s eyes flew open, and her heart was pounding. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. In and out, in and out. She was in her room, in her bed, and it was perfectly calm outside. She was safe. She was okay.

But Sora’s traumatized reaction haunted her. Clearly, she’d stumbled onto something she wasn’t supposed to see, something that had hurt him deeply… or he thought would hurt her deeply. Maybe even both. And whatever it was that was hurting him, she wanted to make it stop. She wanted to make it better. 

It was still dark, but she threw the covers off and burst out the door. She had to find him. Her bare feet padded down the stone cold floor and his shirt barely covered her, but she didn’t care.

He was in the hallway, likewise searching for her, dark circles under his wide eyes as he hunched in on himself.

“Kairi,” he cried when he saw her. His eyes were rimmed with red but his irises were green, thankfully. He held his arms out, and she ran into them and buried her face in his bare shoulder. But it was hard to say who was comforting who as he clung to her, his whole body shaking.

“It’s okay,” she soothed. “I’m here.”

He took several deep shuddering breaths, each one getting more and more even than the last.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she murmured as she tried her best to ground him with gentle touches. She suspected that really had been him in her dream, but she wanted him to open up to her about it on his own terms. 

“I… had a nightmare,” he finally admitted. 

“Same one as me, right?”

He didn’t say anything, so she leaned back and searched his face. “I mean, you were in the white room too, weren’t you?”

He avoided her eyes but finally nodded, ever so slightly. 

“I’m sorry about what happened,” she told him as she hugged him again. “I didn’t mean to see that. I don’t think Naminé meant to show me that, either. It was an accident.”

His breathing got heavy again as his grip around her tightened. “I know. I know. It’s a good thing I found you before you saw the rest.”

She pulled away from him again, an uneasy feeling settling in her stomach. “There was more?”

“Nevermind that. I’m just glad I reached you in time.”

“Is it something you want to talk about?”

He shook his head. 

“Then I won’t press you about it.”

“Thank you.”

Still, it bothered her that there was something he was holding back. Something he was keeping from her. She didn’t need to know everything about his life, obviously, but this seemed important. If she had to guess, it must’ve happened during that gap in her memory. The thought of him all alone in his pain, not even able to share it after the fact, made a lump build in her throat.

“Can I comfort you at least?” she asked.

“What do you have in mind?”

She chewed her lip. Sleeping in bed together was still probably out of the question, but maybe she could hold him while he slept? So long as she was awake and on her guard against the darkness, it would probably be okay. She’d watched over him when he was sick, after all. 

“Let’s go to the sitting room and sit on the couch,” she said. “You can fall asleep in my arms, and I’ll stay awake and watch over you.”

He hesitated, his shoulders slumping. “I can’t ask that of you. You’ll be tired all day if you do.”

“What’s the alternative? I leave you to sleep in your bed alone as your nightmares haunt your dreams, your heart craves my comfort, and your body longs for my touch?” She cupped his face in her hands and watched him melt. “I know you, Sora. You’re strong and you’re incredibly brave, but you’re stronger when your friends have your back. And maybe… you’re strongest of all when your wife does, too.”

“I know,” he said softly. “And I want to be close to you.”

“I know you do. And it’s okay. Let yourself sleep in my arms for once.”

He didn’t argue, so she found his hand and led him to the sitting room. She scrounged up some pillows and blankets, then sat down on the couch with her back propped up against the pillows so it would be easier for her not to fall asleep. 

Sora draped himself over her and rested his head on her chest, his favorite cuddling position. Once they were all situated with the blankets, she kissed his head and stroked his hair and murmured tender things to him. 

“I’ve got you. You’re safe with me,” she murmured. “Whatever happened that awful day, it’s over. You’re not alone. Your wife is here with you, and she’s got your back.”

Sora looked at her, and his eyes were blue. He nuzzled her chest and let out a deep sigh of contentment.

“I know. Thank you, Kairi.”

“Anything for you, Sora.”

His breathing evened out, and her heart melted as she felt him fully relax in her arms. What a joy it was to see him trust her so deeply. 

“Rest well, my king,” she said, then planted a soft kiss on his head. “And sweet dreams.”

* * *

When Sora woke up, he was alone on the couch, but Kairi had left a little note behind, along with a change of clothes for him. He pulled the pants on over his boxers and the shirt on over his head, then read the note.

_ To my beautiful sexy husband, _

_ Sorry to leave you, but I had some business to attend to. I am proud to report I didn’t fall asleep even once, though there were a few close calls.  _

_ You are absolutely adorable when you sleep, by the way. I’ve watched you sleep before, of course, all those times I had to wake you up when you were napping like a lazy bum, but nothing compares to holding you in my arms as you sleep. You kept nuzzling my boobs and muttering my name, and I was tempted to stay till you woke up so you could give me some attention.  _

_ But then again, maybe it’s for the best. My body’s telling me we just might have gone a little overboard yesterday. But don’t worry, it’s in a pleasant sore kind of way, not a painful sore kind of way. Totally worth it, too. The memories from yesterday will stick with me for a long time.  _

_ See you at breakfast! _

_ Your beloved, _

_ Kairi _

Sora carefully tucked the note into his pants. Any note or letter from Kairi was precious, and he was gonna keep this one, too.

He was relieved she hadn’t pressed him about what she’d seen, relieved that she hadn’t stumbled onto any more of it. The moment the darkness had invaded his heart and body… no one needed to see that. Not now, not ever. And especially not Kairi. Her heart would hurt for him if she remembered his moment of violation, if she remembered how the darkness had entered him and taken root. If she remembered how the great evil had forced its way inside his heart. It was true he had allowed it to, but that didn’t make it any less awful. 

And the rest. If she remembered the rest, she would blame herself for what had happened. She would tell him it was supposed to be her and not him, that she was supposed to be the one to close the box for good… no matter what it cost her.

And that was why she could never know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora and Kairi talk briefly about some of the sex acts in the previous chapter, and they also discuss having kids someday. Sora has a nightmare. Next week's chapter is the handcuffs chapter. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you've had a good week. Thank you for the comments, I really appreciate it! 
> 
> For this chapter I thought it was important for them to discuss where they are right now and where they might be moving forward. And that of course includes more teasers about what happened to them back before the story began. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	29. A New Vow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings. This chapter is one of the most graphic chapters of the story when it comes to sexual content, so please scroll down and check the warnings if you're worried about squicks, turn-offs, etc. It features Kairi restraining Sora and edging him as well so bear that in mind before continuing.

The weather grew hot as the days flew by, and before long Kairi was carrying a small fan with her everywhere she went. It helped offset the stifling heat, but she longed for Destiny Island’s cool breezes. The castle was stuffy even with modern conveniences like air conditioning, as well as not-so-modern ones like open windows.

But as much as she wanted to spend all day at the private beach she and Sora shared, or retreat with him to the Secret Wood he’d created for her, her other duties called. And the biggest one on her plate right now, well, on both their plates, was the coming-of-age ceremony for the youth of this realm.

There were lots of plans to be made, and she carried around a parasol for her visits to check on the new building for the orphanage. It was almost done now, and everyone on the project was hoping to have it finished before the weather became unbearable. 

The kids looked forward to her visits, and it was getting harder and harder to say goodbye to them. Especially after that conversation with Sora, where he’d blurted out his desire to start a family with her. The thought of having little ones of their own was here to stay, and it was always lurking at the back of her mind.

After she and Alma returned from one such excursion, Sora was waiting for her in her room, sitting on the window seat. His face lit up the moment he saw her, his green eyes sparkling.

“Welcome back,” he said as he practically threw the piece of wood he was carving to the side so he could hug her properly.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of finding my king in my room?” she said as she kissed his cheek.

Sora pouted. “What, am I not allowed to surprise you?”

“Depends on what the surprise is for,” she teased as she wiggled out of his grasp and peeled her sweaty bonnet off of her hair.

“We haven’t made love in five days. Five whole days!”

She laughed as she kicked off her shoes. “You just got back today,” she reminded him. “We’ve barely gotten to see each other.”

There was some business off world that needed his attention, and it had wound up taking longer than either of them were expecting. 

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it,” he said.

She shimmied out of her dress and let it fall to the floor. His eyes wandered over her body and met hers, and she could tell he wanted more than just sex right now. He was craving intimacy and affection, too.

“Kairi withdrawals?” she said softly.

He nodded, and she cupped his face. Even that simple act of physical reassurance got him to relax a little. 

“What is it you desire tonight, my king? I’ll be happy to give it to you.”

There were endless possibilities, things from their list they still hadn’t tried yet, and she was curious to hear his answer. 

“Make love to me,” was all he said, which was code for slow, tender sex with lots of kissing and cuddling. As she suspected, intimacy was what he needed right now. 

“I will.” She kissed his cheek again. “But first, let me take a shower. I’m kind of gross right now.”

He caught her hand before she could get very far. “Let me join you.”

The simple act of showering together after several days of being apart was wonderful. He gazed at her with a lovestruck look in his eyes as she massaged the shampoo into his hair and scrubbed his body with her lavender-scented body soap.

When they made love afterwards, she was struck by how desperately he sought her affection. Clinging to her, holding her hand, begging her to look him in the eye. It made her sad to think about all the times he’d wanted this but felt like he couldn’t ask for it. At least now he knew he could be open with her about his desires.

Afterwards, she held him as he stayed inside her as long as he could. Maintained the connection even when he didn’t have to. But she craved it and so did he, so there they remained, united as one for as long as possible. 

When they finally broke apart, he slipped down and rested his head on her chest. 

“Thank you, I really needed that,” was all he said.

She kissed his head and ran her fingers through his hair. “I did too.”

He lifted his eyes to look at her, and they were full of affection for her. They were also very, very blue. She smiled sleepily at him, and he smiled back.

“Talk to me,” she murmured as she stroked his hair. “What’s on your mind?”

He planted a kiss right over her heart. “You. You should see what’s inside my head right now. It’s all Kairi Kairi Kairi.”

She giggled. “Anything else?”

“How bad I’ve got it for you,” he said with a laugh, and she loved how his laughter started deep in his belly and spread up his chest, making her bounce along with him. “In case you haven’t figured it out, you’re pretty awesome, and I feel like a lovesick fool tripping over his own two feet when you’re around.”

She blushed, pleased to hear it.

“But see, that right there, that reaction makes it worth it,” he said. “Because I know I’m your lovesick fool.”

“You are,” she said without missing a beat. “You’re my lovesick fool, Sora. Always and forever.”

He stilled at that, then finally said, “How can that be slightly insulting, very heartwarming, and a huge turn-on all at the same time?”

“Because your heart and body and mind aren’t as separate as you’d like to think,” she teased. “Speaking of which, I might’ve bought a few things while you were gone…”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Things I’m sure you’ll like…”

He licked his lips. “Can I see them?”

“Later,” she said with a grin. “I want you to get at least a day to think about what they might be.”

He groaned and rolled over onto his back. “Ugh, Kairi, you’re such a tease.”

“I know,” she said sweetly. “But you know you love it.”

“Well duh. I love everything about you.”

He looked up at her, and it was his turn to grin at her flustered reaction. “See, I can tease you just as well. I just do it by being completely and utterly sincere.”

She giggled and leaned over him to give him an upside-down kiss. “Okay, mister, time to get cleaned up. I have some last minute preparations for tomorrow I’d like your help with.”

“Yes ma’am.”

The preparations took till late that night, but tired as he was, Sora still walked her back to her room to tuck her in for the night. 

“Goodnight, Kairi,” he said softly, then kissed her cheek and turned her lamp off.

“Goodnight, Sora.”

As he slipped out of her room, she wondered if he ever wished she was the one tucking him in. After the night she’d seen Naminé’s drawing, he hadn’t allowed himself the pleasure of sleeping in her arms again… and how she wished he would. 

One last missing piece… whatever it was, she had to find it. 

* * *

The Coming-of-Age ceremony had arrived. Lygia and the other young wards were finally ready to enter into adult society, and Sora and Kairi were hosting the ceremony and throwing a big party afterwards in their honor.

Kairi flitted around the ballroom making sure everything was just right—the decorations in their proper places, the food all accounted for, the musicians on standby, all the little details that were a part of running a successful party. 

Her fan was getting a lot of use, as she was wearing a blue ball gown with a full skirt that was as stuffy as it was pretty. 

But the ceremony and the party went well. Lygia and the other wards looked very sharp in their ball gowns and tuxedos, their faces glowing with excitement as they were presented to their parents and families as well as “proper” society at large. Dancing and music and mingling followed soon afterwards, as well as nibbling at the delicious assortment of food—cake and sandwiches and cookies and the like. With a pang Kairi realized she would miss having the young wards around, especially Lygia. She’d been so focused on her relationship with Sora lately that she’d let her other relationships fall to the wayside a little.

She went over to congratulate Lygia. Her face was glowing, and it didn’t take long for Kairi to notice why. Marcus was nearby, carefully refilling the punch bowl. He nearly spilled the pitcher in his hands when he noticed Lygia watching him, and Kairi smiled and told Lygia to go talk to him.

After the party, the moment she and Sora were in the privacy of her room, he groaned and flopped onto her bed. “We have got to get out of these clothes. I’m dying here.” 

“I’m a little sweaty myself,” she said, and he sprung to his feet and unzipped her dress for her. 

“At least you have a poofy skirt that gives you some air on your legs. I’m trapped under layers and layers of clothes,” he whined. 

Kairi eyed him as she stepped out of her dress, looking very handsome in his tux, but also very sweaty. “Want me to fix that?”

“Please.”

He sighed in relief as she undressed him layer by layer. He wasn’t kidding about how sweaty he was. His hair was damp and his skin was flushed. 

“Okay, into the bath with you,” she said as she playfully dragged him to the bathroom and turned the water on. He raised an eyebrow as he lowered himself into the tub, because they both knew that “I want you clean” was code for “You’re getting head tonight.” 

And Sora would be getting head tonight. That and a lot more. She smiled to herself as she thought about all the things she had planned. She couldn’t wait to see his reaction. 

“Take your time,” she said as she poured his favorite bubble bath into the water, vanilla with a hint of citrus. He smiled and leaned back, his eyes fluttering shut as the bubbles built up around him. But when he realized she wouldn’t be joining him, he opened his eyes again.

“What about you?” he asked, giving her puppy dog eyes. She just grinned and winked as she shimmied out of her bra and panties as he watched… and then jumped into the shower.

“Kairi?” he asked, sounding a little forlorn. 

“Don’t worry, just focus on your bath,” she said, then turned the shower water on. While she wanted to get clean, she also wanted to finish bathing before him. She had some things to prepare still.

By the time she was through with her shower, he was still carefully scrubbing himself down.

“What?” he asked as she grinned. “I know you mean business tonight.”

“I do.”

She wrapped a towel around herself and went to the bedroom to finish her preparations. First, she slipped into the pink lingerie he’d gotten for her a few weeks ago. It had black trim and cute matching bows on the built in bra and panties, and the sheer baby doll top fluttered nicely over her skin. Just the thing for this warm summer night. 

Next, she fished one of her recent purchases out of the secret stash in the closet. Well, to be more specific, she fished out one of the things Alma had acquired for her. The last thing she needed was someone to recognize her while she was at a sex shop. 

By the time Sora was finished with his bath, she was lazily sprawled out on the bed waiting for him. He had a towel on his shoulders for his hair but was otherwise completely naked. Good.

His eyes traveled to what she was tossing up and down: a pair of bondage cuffs, specially made for this kind of thing. Her first attempt at getting something to restrain Sora with (from Octavius, because he was a guard and she figured he’d have something like that on hand) had led to her discovering that actual handcuffs used to restrain suspects were not, in fact, ideal for what she had in mind and could even cause nerve damage. No thank you.

She grinned as Sora’s face lit up. 

“These are for you,” she purred and sat up. His jaw tensed and he swallowed, but his dick betrayed how he was really feeling, and she couldn’t help but laugh. “Looks like you do still want this.”

He covered his traitorous dick with his hands and looked away. “That obvious, huh?”

But he wasn’t as excited about it as she thought he would be, and she frowned. “Sora, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I do want this… it’s just, actually knowing it’s about to happen, I’m a little nervous.”

She lowered the cuffs. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”

He sat on the bed next to her and put his hand over hers. She met his eyes, and his gaze was steady, calm. “I trust you,” he said softly. “And I want to show you how much.”

Her heart thudded at his tenderness, his vulnerability. She cupped his face and kissed him to help put him at ease. “Tell me if you want to stop at any time, and I will.” 

He nodded and laid down on the bed with his arms stretched out over his head. 

“Sora, what’s our safe word?” she asked as she cuffed him to the bed to help get his mind off of his nerves. 

“Light.”

“Good. And do you promise to use it if this gets to be too much?”

She was worried he would push himself far past his limits if he thought it would please her. 

“Yes,” he said, and she relaxed a little. 

“How are you feeling so far?” she asked as she examined her handiwork. “Does it hurt? Are you comfortable?” 

He tested the restraints, and he seemed pleased that he was unable to yank his way out of them. “So far so good.”

“How’s your darkness?”

That was another concern, that his darkness would not react well to his body being restrained like this. 

“It’s okay. I’m in control,” he reassured her.

“I thought I was,” she teased, and that got him to crack a smile. When she straddled him, she could already feel his cock pressing against her, yearning for her. 

She leaned down so she could give him a kiss, and she heard him jerk against the restraints.

“It’s weird not being able to touch you when I kiss you,” he admitted when she pulled away from him, and he almost looked sad. 

“Weird enough to stop?”

“No… but I’m gonna need a lot of affection afterwards. And by that I mean I’ll need to hold you and cuddle with you.”

She smiled and bopped his nose. “Anything for you, my king.”

He grinned, and seeing him at ease helped put her at ease, too. This was supposed to be a fun thing for both of them. They were discovering something new together. Something sexy and exciting that they’d been fantasizing about for weeks now. 

“I’m gonna start teasing you now, okay?” she said, and he nodded. 

“Do your worst. I’m ready.”

“We’ll see about that,” she murmured as she lazily dragged her fingernails up and down his chest. The look in his eyes was already so intense just from the light stimulation. Clearly he was enjoying having her full attention.

On a whim, she leaned down and kissed his neck. “It’s summer, you know, and I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

He moaned softly as she gave him a couple of hickeys, the tender flesh of his neck completely exposed and vulnerable to her persistent mouth.

“Have fun hiding those,” she teased as she sat up. He jerked on the cuffs again, and she giggled. “Someone’s getting wound up.”

His dick was poking her, and she figured it was about time she gave it some attention. But first, she wanted to mess with his head a little. She slid off of him, and he whimpered at the loss of contact. 

“I could just leave you, you know,” she said. “Cuffed to my bed while I go do my own thing, all alone with your poor cock throbbing in the air and no way to touch it…”

“Don’t,” he said sharply, but her words were having the intended effect on the rest of his body.

“Don’t?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t leave me. Please.”

She leaned over to give his cheek a kiss. “Much better.”

She trailed her hand down his chest and stomach before finally reaching his cock, and she gazed into his eyes as she took it into her hand. He whimpered as she massaged him, so slowly that he’d never manage to come without more stimulation, but with enough pressure to keep him wound up. 

“How’s that feel?” she asked softly, and he just moaned. She giggled and stroked him some more. “That good, huh?”

“I thought you were gonna use me, but this… this is so much better than I could’ve imagined…” 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m still gonna use you. In fact, I’m craving your beautiful body so much right now that I think I’ll give it the full attention it deserves.” 

His body was flushed with anticipation, probably hoping she would finally give him the release he craved. But that could come later. He said he wanted to be teased, and she was going to tease him.

“It’s been too long since I’ve given you a massage, don’t you think?”

She grabbed a bottle of lotion off the nightstand and poured some onto her hands.

“Kairi, you don’t have to—”

“Shhh. Just relax and enjoy yourself. I want to do this for you.”

He sighed as she worked the lotion into his skin. First she massaged his arms and shoulders, then his chest and stomach, then his thighs and calves before finishing with his feet. He looked so relaxed and calm afterwards… except for his dick, which was still craving her attention.

“Alright, my turn,” she said. “You know I really wish you could do this for me… but you can’t right now, so I guess I’ll have to do it myself,” she added with a fake pout.

His eyes went wide as she slipped the baby doll top and bra off. He whimpered and jerked against the cuffs as she slowly worked the lotion into her boobs. She looked into his eyes as she touched herself, and the look in his eyes was getting more and more desperate the longer she did. 

“You want a taste?” she teased. 

His face lit up. “Yes!”

“Too bad,” she said with a smirk. “For now, you’ll have to watch.”

He looked at her like she’d just told him the worst news in the worlds, and for a moment she wondered if she’d gone too far. But he hadn’t used their safe word yet… so it was probably okay. Still, she wanted to make sure he was still having fun.

She had just the idea. She slid her underwear off as he watched… then stuffed it into his mouth. His eyes bulged at her boldness, then fluttered shut as her smell and taste hit his senses. 

“Better?” she asked, and he nodded his head vigorously. “Okay good, but enjoy it while it lasts.” She frowned and chewed her lip. “I’m not going to keep them in your mouth for very long. I want you to be able to use our safe word if you need to.”

His eyes softened, and she felt a little better about continuing. She started touching herself again, not just her boobs this time but all over. When she slid her fingers between her legs, he started straining against the restraints again, his moans muffled by her underwear. Once she was good and wet, she removed the underwear and stuck her fingers in his mouth instead. 

“Suck,” she gently told him as she brushed his hair back from his face. He did, and eagerly, too. “Here, have some more,” she said as she stuck her fingers inside herself again before putting them back in his mouth.

It was amazing the kind of things he would do for her. If he really wanted to, he could put an end to this, right here, right now, but he wasn’t doing that. He wanted her to keep going. He was enjoying this as much as she was. And more than that, he trusted her so much he was letting her torment him. He was willingly at her mercy. The amount of trust that took… 

“Kairi?” he asked as her fingers slipped out of his mouth, his eyes full of concern.

Oh dear, she was getting emotional. She wiped her eyes and sniffed.

“Do you need to use our safe word?” he asked.

“No, I’m okay… I just thought about how much you trust me, and it was kind of overwhelming.”

He smiled, a beautiful, radiant smile. “I do trust you. With all my heart.” 

“I know,” she said and had to wipe her eyes again. “That’s why I’m getting emotional.”

His eyes were tender as he gazed into hers. “Kairi, if this is too much, there’s no shame in stopping. Go ahead and uncuff me if you need to.” 

“But I want to keep going. Do you want to stop?”

He shook his head. “No. But it’s okay if you need to.”

“Just… give me a second, to pull myself together.”

He sighed deeply as he watched her calm down. “You know, it’s a lot harder not getting to touch you right now than it was earlier. You’re asking me to go against all my natural instincts to protect you.”

She smiled weakly. “Yes, but I know you can do it.”

“That’s right,” he said softly. “Anything for you, Kairi.”

She leaned over so she could kiss him, and they made out for a while to get back in the mood. She touched him, too, soft gentle touches that slowly became more insistent and aggressive, till he was good and wound up again. Between all the teasing earlier and the stimulation now, he was dripping precum. 

“Can’t let this go to waste,” she said and swiped some off of him. He groaned as she wiped it across her boobs, and she giggled. 

“Look, there’s still some left,” she said, then touched him again and slipped his precum inside of her… all without his dick getting to come anywhere near her entrance. “Bet you wish you could’ve done that instead.”

“Kairi…” he moaned. “Please…”

“Oh?” she said, pretending not to hear what he said. “Looks like you made a little more for me.” 

This time, she stuck her fingers inside her mouth and sucked the precum off of them, all while staring into Sora’s eyes. He thrashed against the restraints, and she figured it was time to take things to the next level.

“Hmmm, that was pretty good. Think I’ll try some more…”

She did it again, this time moaning as she licked her fingers clean. 

“Fuck, please—”

She straddled his legs. “Or I could just… get it straight from the source.”

He gasped when her tongue made contact with his cock. If it wasn’t for the cuffs and her weight holding his legs down, she wouldn’t be able to keep him under control. But for now at least he was right where she wanted him to be.

She gave him a nice slow blowjob, making sure he had a good view of her boobs as she did… and making sure she made eye contact with him as often as possible. She flipped her hair around, winked at him, did everything she could think of to tease him. And it was working. He was moaning and squirming so much she was beginning to wonder if the noise was traveling into the hall.

Oh well. Worth it. 

And just to really drive him crazy, she relaxed her throat as much as she could and took him as far down as she could. She only managed it for a few seconds before she had to stop, but his cry of pleasure and the way his hips started thrusting uncontrollably made it totally worth it. 

She pulled him out quickly so she wouldn’t puke all over his dick, then wiped her mouth and shot him an apologetic look. “Sorry, I’ll have to practice a little more.”

He was breathing hard and shuddering all over. “Fuck Kairi, don’t apologize—fuck—”

His cock had been left bobbing in the air, aching and dripping, and she giggled and poked it. That just made him groan. 

“Feeling used yet?” she said with a grin as she stroked his sensitive head.

“Used? I feel spoiled!” 

“But also very, very frustrated, right?” she murmured as she added her other hand to the mix. 

“M-maybe…” 

She grinned and dragged herself up his body, making sure to coat him with her wetness, and he moaned as she brushed against his cock. He also tried to thrust into her, but she expertly avoided him.

“I didn’t say you were allowed to enter me yet.”

His eyes were wild. “What do I have to do? Tell me what I have to do.”

“Kiss me,” she said, but moved her head back before his lips could connect with hers. “C’mon, kiss me!” she said, then repeated the whole thing all over again, then once more for good measure.

“How?” he said, his voice cracking. “You won’t let me!”

“Don’t worry,” she soothed, “I know just the thing.” She straddled his face and faced towards his feet. Without his arms helping to control things, this was going to be trickier, but the view of his body made her really want to try this. 

She felt his tongue dart up towards her lips, and she giggled. “There we go, there’s my kiss.” She sighed and slowly rocked back and forth as he fucked her with his tongue. This was quickly becoming her favorite way to receive oral, especially facing towards him like this. She loved seeing his sexy body react to what she was doing to him.

But seeing him put another idea into her head, something they hadn’t tried yet but she was very much willing to do. He was, too, if their list was anything to go by. So she shifted her weight forward until she could reach his cock, then teased his tip with her tongue. 

He stopped what he was doing and moaned deeply. Oh, he liked this. He liked this very much.

“I didn’t say you could stop,” she said, and as soon as he continued, she did, too. Kissed his cock and licked it and gave it the attention he craved before transitioning into the other things he really liked. But she was careful not to stimulate him too much. She didn’t want him to come until she was riding him.

Thankfully, she was so turned on from all the teasing she’d inflicted on him that she could tell she was close. Her grinding became more insistent and his tonguing more desperate till something inside of her snapped. She gasped as she realized what was happening and Sora’s moans, muffled though they were, made it clear he was enjoying this as much as she was. 

She giggled afterwards and climbed off of him. His face was soaking wet because he’d finally done it, he’d gotten her to gush all over him. 

“I’m sorry,” she said as she tried her best to wipe his messy face off. 

“Don’t be. Man that was hot. I’ve been wanting to get you to do that for a while now. Guess tonight was the lucky night.”

He grinned, and she kissed him and bounced up to find a towel. He gazed into her eyes as she gently cleaned his face and peppered him with soft kisses.

“Want me to release you now?” she asked. 

He quieted at that. “You still had more planned, didn’t you?”

She nodded.

“If so… I want to see this through to the end.”

She sat back and chewed her lip. “You sure you’re not just pushing yourself for my sake? You’re not feeling hurt or overwhelmed?”

“No. It’s been intense, but in a good way.”

“Then… is it okay if I ramp up the teasing?” 

He nodded. “Yeah. You’re doing a great job, Kairi. And I was the one who asked for this, remember? Let’s see how much more I can take.”

She brushed his hair back and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. “That’s right, we’re in this together.”

“Yeah. We’re a team, you and me.”

“The best team.” 

He smiled, and she cupped his face and kissed him, slowly, passionately. He was right. He was her husband, her partner, her friend. And she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

She finished cleaning him up before setting the towel to the side. “And now… it’s time for Kairi the Tease to take over again.”

He laughed. “Oh boy, I better brace myself. I really like her, but she always throws curveballs at me.”

She giggled and grabbed his dick, making him groan. “As she should.” 

Despite her words, she started off gently, lots of slow, sensuous kisses to get herself warmed up again. But when she was feeling horny enough, she grabbed one of the specialty condoms she’d gotten for this occasion off the nightstand.

“So you’ll last longer,” she told him as she put it on for him. She glanced into his eyes and chewed on her lip as she did, trying to make this as sensual and sexy as possible. “I know you don’t usually wear one… but tonight, I need to feel you for as long as possible.”

He closed his eyes and groaned.

She leaned in close to murmur, “I want to have fun getting myself off on your cock like you asked. If you come too quickly, you’ll spoil my fun. And we don’t want that to happen, now do we?”

He moaned and shook his head.

She grinned and nibbled on his ear, making him yelp. “That’s why you need this. You need to last for me until I’m satisfied, got it?”

He nodded, and she straddled him and kissed him. He kissed her back, and she started grinding against him, it felt so good. She loved this, loved getting so much wonderful attention from him, and on her terms, too. All because he was allowing her to use him like this. 

“What do you think, Sora?” she said presently. “Have you prepared me enough for the grand finale? Even without your hands?”

He let out a low moan, so she slid around a little, coating him with her wetness. “Am I wet enough?”

He groaned, and she took that as a yes and rubbed herself against him some more. He was so hard right now, and she couldn’t wait to feel him inside her. 

But she had to make this as good as everything else. She teased his tip with her entrance, and that really made him wiggle and squirm. Then she let his head slip in and out of her several times, and he groaned and thrashed as she refused to let him go any deeper.

“Kairi, this is torture—” he moaned.

“Yes,” she agreed, “sweet, sweet torture. You probably wish you could just shove me down onto your dick right now, huh?”

He jerked so hard at the cuffs that she wondered for a moment if he was strong enough to wrench himself free. But she wasn’t about to stop now, not when things were really heating up.

“You wish you could grab my hips and slam me down till you’re buried all the way to the hilt inside of me.”

He growled. He actually growled, and there was a wild look in his green eyes as he yanked so hard at the cuffs it made the bed shake. 

“Well… your wish is my command.”

She aligned his cock with her entrance, then slammed herself down onto him, taking his entire length inside her all at once. She gasped, and the sound that ripped out of his throat was so loud she was tempted to gag him with her underwear again. 

She rested her hands on his chest as she took a few moments to recover. She didn’t usually take him in all at once like that, and her body was rather shocked at what she’d just made it do. 

“Kai?” he panted. “You okay?”

“I might be a little sore tomorrow,” she admitted, “but it’s totally worth it.” 

His eyebrows knitted into a frown. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

“No. It’s like I’ve told you before. It’s a good feeling, like you’re stretching me out. And besides, I was the one who did that, not you. I wanted to see if I could do it… and I can.” She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. “I will say, I’m tempted to gag you again if you’re gonna be that loud.”

His already flushed skin flushed darker. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

She put a finger over his lips. “Don’t apologize, that was hot.” Her eyes fluttered shut, and she sighed in contentment as she wiggled her hips a little and felt him move inside of her. “Feels good to have you inside of me finally.” 

“Feels good for me too.”

She opened her eyes and smiled. She knew he wasn’t just talking about the physical sensations. No, he also meant the closeness, the connectedness. 

“Good. I think I’m ready to use you now. I’m not going to be gentle, either. Is that okay?”

He nodded. 

“Okay, here goes.”

As promised, she was not gentle. She let loose on him, treated him like he was just there to get her off. Her toy, her plaything, there for her pleasure and hers alone. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and his anguished cry made her freeze.

“Sora?”

“Don’t stop!” he cried, jerking against the cuffs again. He was desperately trying to thrust into her. “Please, I need to come—”

Phew, he wasn’t hurt then. “Okay, let’s try this again,” she said, then continued where they left off. She pounded him into the bed as he used all his strength to thrust into her from below, and it felt incredible. 

But he warned her he was getting close, and she wasn’t ready for this to be over yet. She stopped moving and shifted her weight forward to stop him from moving, too. Next time she’d have to get something to secure his legs with. Or maybe magic might work if she figured out how to localize the right spells to just one part of his body. 

“You’re not allowed to come until I say so, remember?” she murmured, and his moan was so loud it was probably a miracle he didn’t blow his load right then and there. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he did his best to do what she asked. 

“I’m serious, Sora, you’ll regret it if you come before I give you permission.” 

His eyes fluttered open, and they were curious. “What will you do?”

“Punish you,” she said sweetly, and he groaned and twitched inside her. She giggled and lightly scratched his chest to emphasize her words.

“It… might be worth the risk.”

“Oh, I would make it worth the risk,” she teased. “But I want us to come together, if possible.”

“In that case… give me a second,” he said with a chuckle, “or you  _ will _ have to punish me…”

She nodded and let him calm down, caressing his face and kissing him gently as he did. 

When he was ready, he said, “Kai, I’m still really close… this won’t be easy…”

“I know,” she said softly. “I’ve been pushing you and tormenting you all night. But you can do it, I know you can.”

“You really think so?” he said as he gazed up into her eyes.

“I do. I believe in you, Sora. You can do this for me.”

She started touching herself, because she really did want to let him come soon, and this would help speed up the process. He moaned softly and closed his eyes. Even the sight of her touching herself must be too much for him right now. 

When she felt herself get close, she slowly started moving on top of him again. It wasn’t going to take long for him to come at this point, and she had to be careful she didn’t make her orders impossible for him to follow. He was too wound up, too deliciously sensitive even with a condom on, and she didn’t want to ruin this for him. 

“Kai,  _ please,  _ I can’t hold off much longer…” he moaned. His body was so far gone he was thrusting erratically into her now, and she sighed and listened to the sounds of their lovemaking. She was so close, almost there, if he could just hang in there a little bit longer—

There we go. She nodded, and he came with a loud scream, unable to hold himself back anymore. She fell forward as she went over the edge, cupping a hand over his mouth to muffle his noise as they lost themselves to each other. He thrashed and bucked beneath her as he lost all control, and that just made it better and better for her, knowing she had been the one to do this to him. She had driven him to this level of desperation, and she had been the one to satisfy his deepest desires. And better yet, she had gotten to experience ultimate pleasure along with him.

Oh that was good. That was so very, very good. Sweet, sweet relief for them both. She panted for breath, and so did he. As soon as she’d recovered enough, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently, tenderly. She removed the condom and freed him from the restraints as quickly as possible, and the first thing he did was bring her into his arms.

With a start she realized he was trembling. His whole body was shaking as he held her. 

“Sora? Are you okay?”

“Gimme a second, I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d need to hold you—”

She buried her face in his neck and realized she was shaking too. As wonderful as that had been, it felt good to be in his arms now, to be held by him. She hadn’t realized how much she needed this, and she was grateful Sora knew her well enough, knew himself well enough, to know this was what they both needed. 

“Kairi, that was wonderful,” he said at last, his voice choked with emotion.

“But you’re shaking.” 

“You’re shaking, too. That’s how intense and good it was for us both.”

“So you’re really okay?” She pulled away from him a little so she could look into his eyes. They were their natural blue, and was it possible he loved her even more now? The look he was giving her was one of complete trust and adoration, and she felt a lump in her throat because of it.

“You could have used me,” he said softly. “Gotten yourself off on me like I asked, and I would’ve thanked you for it. I would’ve whined, sure, but I would’ve been happy. But this… this was so much more than I could’ve… than I ever thought was possible.” He lifted his hand to her face and cupped her cheek. “Thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you,” she said. She caught his hand and checked his wrist to make sure it was okay. It looked a little redder than normal, but he didn’t seem to be hurt. She gently lifted it to her lips all the same and kissed it. She willed her light into the kiss, and soon the skin was back to its usual color. She repeated the process with his other wrist, then carefully checked the rest of his body. His chest has some scratches on it, and she kissed those back to rights, too.

When she looked into his eyes again, he was tearing up, but he had the most beautiful, tender smile on his face. She had a few tears of her own to shed, and he held his arms out to her. She snuggled into his embrace and cried as he comforted her and soothed her and kissed her all over.

“I don’t know why I’m crying,” she sniffed. “I’m not the one who got teased all night.”

“It’s okay,” he told her. “Sometimes you just need to have a good cry.” 

“Was it good for you?” she asked as he kissed her tears away. “Was it really good for you? I wanted it to be good for you…”

He smiled and nodded. “It was. It was really, really good. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” He kissed her forehead. “My life is in good hands.” 

They remained in each other’s arms for a long time after that, mainly so that Sora could touch her and kiss her to his heart’s content.

“I have to make up for all the times I wanted to touch you but couldn’t,” he explained. “And it was basically the entire time, so… we’re gonna be here for a while.”

She laughed through her tears, and he kissed them away again. She was feeling sleepy, but he made sure to get her to the bathroom so he could get her cleaned up. The shower they took together was wonderful. They couldn’t stop kissing each other and touching each other, and Kairi would’ve been content to fall asleep under the warm water with him.

But he dried her off and changed her sheets and tucked her into bed. Before he could leave, she caught his hand and asked him, “Stay?”

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Stay. For as long as I can.”

She held the covers up for him, and he joined her. She snuggled up to his chest and rested her head against his heart. Its steady beat thrummed away at her ear, telling her over and over again that he was alive and he was with her. 

“The princess and the knight were lovers…” she sleepily murmured. 

“...and the knight loved the princess with all his heart,” he said. “He had a special name for her, something he called her when his heart was so full it was about to burst. My beloved, my dearly beloved.” 

“And she would call him… my knight. So the whole world would know he was hers. So she could express her feelings the only way her position would allow.”

Sora stilled at her words, and she tilted her head, wondering if she’d said something to upset him. But then he smiled and kissed her and said, “And the knight knew, no matter what the future might hold, that he would always, always love the princess.”

Kairi slipped off into sleep in Sora’s arms, knowing that even if he had to leave her, he would come back to her, in the end. It was his promise to her, and he had never once broken it. 

* * *

Sora held Kairi as her breathing evened out, as she fell asleep in his arms. Showing just how much she trusted him and was willing to be vulnerable with him.

He didn’t want to leave. He didn’t. How was he supposed to leave her after all that had happened tonight? After the show of trust and love and closeness that had bound them together?

The words spilled out of him before he could stop them. “I don’t want to leave, Kairi. I don’t. My heart longs to stay with you, to fall asleep with you in my arms and hold you all night and wake up next to you in the morning. But I have to go, because the darkness that’s not supposed to be here is still here. It’s still here, and I can’t pretend that it’s not. But don’t despair. It’s weak now. It’s even weaker after the blow you dealt it tonight.” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. “We’re so close, Kairi, I can feel it. So I’m gonna make you a promise now. A new promise. I swear, one day, the knight won’t just be your lover. He’ll be your husband, too, and on that day, we’ll have the marriage you’ve always dreamed of.”

With that, he left her, heart heavy but not without hope. It was funny, how he thought all hope was gone the day he’d locked half his heart in a box. But it had never really left him. It had been here all along.

And now, with Kairi by his side, it was blossoming into a light so bright it might find its place among the stars. 

His heart was almost whole again, and it felt good to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi cuffs Sora to her bed and teases and edges him. She puts her underwear in his mouth and then gives him a blowjob and briefly deepthroats him. She also sits on his face so they can give each other oral sex in the 69 position, and he makes her squirt. Then she rides him till they both come, and they cuddle and snuggle afterwards. Vanilla sex and cuddling also happens at the beginning of the chapter. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you've had a good week. This chapter was a fun one to write; I enjoyed drawing the contrast between the sensual moments and the tender ones, because with these two, the sensual and the tender are kind of inseparable. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	30. Marcus and Lygia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

Sora woke up the next morning feeling better rested than he had in ages. Stretching his hands above his head, he pictured Kairi on top of him and grinned. 

Man yesterday had been awesome. 

Would she want to do that kind of thing again, or… 

Well, even if she didn’t, last night would stick with him for a very long time. Seriously, he couldn’t stop blushing and grinning thinking about it. The only thing that would’ve made it better was if he could’ve stayed with her. 

He hummed to himself as he got ready for the day. Most of the people staying at the castle were probably still asleep, what with the party last night and all. That meant he might be able to steal a few moments with Kairi before they had to attend to their duties. 

In the hallway he ran into Octavius. His eyes looked a little bleary and his hair was kinda messy, and Sora figured he oughta do something to cheer him up.

“Octavius!” he cried. “Good to see you!”

He clapped a hand on Octavius’s shoulder, and Octavius raised an eyebrow. “Good morning to you too, Your Majesty.”

“C’mon, you know you can call me Sora. And oh, by the way, I wanna double your salary!”

Octavius’s eyes narrowed. “Are you drunk?”

“Yes,” he said with a giggle. “I am drunk. Drunk on the sweetest and most powerful thing there is.”

“I take it you spent an enjoyable evening with Her Majesty last night,” Octavius said wryly. 

“You have no idea.”

“And I’d like to keep it that way.” 

Sora laughed. “You’re pretty funny, you know that, right?”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Well, what I said still stands,” Sora said. “You deserve a raise for all your hard work!”

He threw his arms around Octavus, which Octavius grumbled about but grudgingly accepted, then bounced off to Kairi’s room. 

“Beloved!” he cried as he burst through the door. “Your king is here—”

But Kairi wasn’t in her bed. She wasn’t in the bathroom, either. Huh. Maybe she’d already gone to breakfast? But breakfast wasn’t for another hour, since they were supposed to take it with their guests in the big dining hall.

He frowned. Where else could she be? Maybe drawing outside? Yeah, probably. Time to search the grounds for her.

It was already warm when he exited the Keep, calling her name. Today promised to be a hot summer’s day. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for him to find her. She was in the garden with the lovers’ fountain, and she wasn’t alone. In her arms she held a very distraught Lygia, who was sobbing her eyes out. Her art supplies were scattered on the ground, like she’d hastily dropped them. Sora’s heart sank at the scene unfolding before him. What on earth had happened?

“Kairi?” he said softly.

She looked up. “It’s Lygia’s parents. They… didn’t react well to her relationship with Marcus.”

That just made Lygia cry harder, and Sora’s heart got even heavier. 

“They told her she could never marry someone from a different social class,” Kairi explained. “And that if she tried… her entire family would disown her.” She sighed deeply. “Apparently, there are laws governing who you can marry, too.”

Sora groaned. Some days he wished he had the power to remake more than just the landscape of this world. He wished he could change peoples’ hearts, too. What good did it do to have all this power if people were still suffering? 

“They told me—I could never speak to him again,” Lygia said as she sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I’m afraid… what they might do to him if— if I do.”

His eyes met Kairi’s. He thought about last night. Thought of how close he’d felt to her, how much he loved sharing that part of himself with her. Thought about how he would feel if someone told him he couldn’t be with her anymore. How he would react if someone tore her away from him. 

Might as well rip his heart out of his chest and tear it into pieces instead. It would be less painful that way, because life without Kairi was unimaginable. He’d lived that way for a few hours once, and every single one of those hours had been hell. Like someone kept tearing his heart open over and over again as his grief engulfed him in its crushing waves. 

To deny Lygia something so beautiful, so wonderful as love… to keep her separated from the one she loved… and worse, to think that it was her own parents doing it… 

“They’re wrong,” he said, his voice low and his fists clenching at his sides. “They’re wrong, and I’m gonna make it right.”

He was the king, and he could do something about this at least. Marcus and Lygia wouldn’t have to go through the hell he and Kairi had endured. 

“But how, Your Majesty?” Lygia asked, looking up at him with a hopeful look in her eyes. 

Kairi gave him a look that screamed, “We need to talk about this,” so he bit his tongue and held back the passionate speech he was about to launch into. 

Instead, he simply said, “We’ll think of something. I promise.” 

Lygia nodded and wiped her eyes again, and Sora excused himself to go find Marcus. Before he left, though, he looked to Kairi one more time. 

“Later,” she mouthed, and he nodded.

It took a little while to track Marcus down, as he would be working the big dining hall this morning instead of Sora and Kairi’s smaller one. The kitchen staff looked surprised to see the king burst in while they were in the midst of making all the food, but Sora just thanked them for their hard work and made his way over to Marcus.

Marcus was lurking in the corner, wearing his usual uniform as he prepared his food cart. But his eyes were red and his face was blotchy. 

“Marcus?” Sora asked. “May I speak with you?”

“Oh, good morning, Your Majesty. Um, sure, of course.”

“Privately,” Sora added, because he could feel all the eyes on them right now.

“But we’ll be serving the food soon.”

“Just for a few minutes,” Sora said softly. “You won’t get in trouble, I promise.”

Marcus relaxed and followed him to the closest empty room, which was a storeroom packed to the brim with cheese and wine and vegetables and fruit. It smelled good in here and would offer a little privacy, at least.

“I know about what happened with Lygia,” Sora said after he’d closed the door behind them. “Kairi found her this morning.”

Marcus’s eyes went wide, and then he ducked his head. “Oh, sorry about that, Your Majesty. I never meant to get other people involved…”

“What I want to know is, are you okay?”

“I… I’m fine,” Marcus said, but carefully avoided his eyes.

“Lygia told Kairi that she was afraid her parents might hurt you. Do you think that’s a possibility?”

Marcus shrugged, but Sora noticed his hand was shaking. “I don’t know. But I can’t talk to her again anyway. I don’t wanna ruin her future.”

“The only ones ruining her future are her parents and whatever stupid laws and ideas are enabling them,” Sora said, more passionately than he intended. But he couldn’t help himself. Anything that kept two people in love apart for no other reason other than prejudice had no business being in his kingdom.

Marcus’s eyes went wide again. “Your Majesty?”

“Kairi and I are on your side,” Sora said as he put a hand on his shoulder. “We’re gonna fight for you, okay? And protect you too, if it comes to that.” 

“But why? I’m just a kitchen worker. I knew deep down it probably wasn’t gonna last. How could a guy like me ever hope to marry someone like her? We were lucky things lasted as long as they did.”

“Kairi and I… we know what it’s like,” Sora said. “We know what it’s like to have everything and everyone fighting to keep you apart. And we can’t just watch it happen again. Tell me, Marcus, do you want to break up with Lygia?”

“No,” Marcus said, with more conviction in his voice than there was before. 

“Then don’t. And leave the rest to me and Kairi. For now, if you need to pass any messages on to Lygia, just tell me, and I’ll make sure she gets them.”

Marcus nodded. “Thanks for your help, Your Majesty. And tell Lygia sorry about all this for me, please.”

“I will.”

Sora checked the clock on the wall as they emerged from the storeroom. Perfect. He still had enough time to talk to Kairi before breakfast. He found her in her room, dropping off her art supplies, and without saying anything, he hugged her from behind. 

She put her arms over his. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “I’m with you. Nothing will separate us anymore.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He relaxed a little at her words. Before, she’d been afraid of him abandoning her… but after this morning, it was clear he had some fears and anxieties of his own.

Still, it was nice to hold her like this. Anything that tried to separate them now would have to go through him first. He was Kairi’s shield even as she was his.

He kissed her cheek. “Beloved, last night…”

His lips found hers, and he kissed her slowly, passionately. For a few moments the only sound in the room was their kissing, and desire began to stir deep within him. 

“...was wonderful,” she finished for him after the kiss was over.

He smiled, glad to hear she still felt the same way the morning after. “I was hoping to get some time with you this morning, but…”

“Marcus and Lygia.”

“What’s your plan?” he asked.

“We can help them… or we can try to help everyone this kind of situation affects.”

He found her hand and kissed it. “Keep talking.”

“I want to change the law,” she continued. “And I want to get the support of the nobles. I want to drum up popular support too. It won’t be enough without the people on board, because otherwise the law will change, but not their hearts.”

“Sounds like a plan. Tell me what I can do to help.”

A smile curved across her lips. “That’s my Sora, always wanting to help.”

He stilled at that. Her Sora? She saw him as her Sora now? Not my king but my Sora?

She giggled and cupped his cheek. “Now you’re blushing. Was it something I said?”

“I, um…”

“My Sora,” she said as she brought her other hand to his face. “Always and forever.” 

He kissed her again. It wasn’t a casual thank you kiss, and it wasn’t just a kiss charged with physical passion, either. No, it was so much more. It was the kiss of a man desperately in love with his wife and doing everything he could to show her.

“We shouldn’t let ourselves get distracted,” she said halfheartedly before he kissed her again. 

“Maybe a distraction is just what we need right now.”

He kissed the soft skin on her throat, and she hummed her approval.

“Maybe so…”

Before long she was on the bed with her skirt pulled up and her legs spread, and he was gently thrusting into her. Her cheeks were flushed as she gazed into his eyes. No matter what the time of day, she was beautiful, and making love to her was always wonderful. 

As wound up as he was, and as much of a time crunch as they were on, he didn’t draw things out too long. But the closeness with her was just what they both needed.

When it was over, he grabbed a towel off of her bedside table and helped her clean up. She tucked his dick back in his pants and zipped them up, then smoothed her skirts down and smiled mischievously. 

“What would our guests say if they knew you’d just been inside me?”

“Are you trying to get me hard again?” he said with a laugh, then kissed her. “C’mon, we really should get to breakfast now.”

She found his hand, and they held hands the whole walk to breakfast, swinging their arms and gazing into each other’s eyes. When the dining hall doors opened, everyone stood to welcome them, and Sora was very pleased when Kairi didn’t let go of his hand. 

The message was clear: he and Kairi were partners, and he would do everything he could to support her with her plan to help Marcus and Lygia.

* * *

After breakfast, Kairi extended an invitation to Lygia’s family to allow Lygia to stay one more month at the castle. Thankfully, they accepted, honored to have been asked by the queen herself. But they made it clear that she was not to mingle with “commoners.” Kairi had to bite her tongue, knowing that she was once one of the very “commoners” they snubbed their noses at.

That taken care of, she asked Julia if she had any contacts with the tabloid magazines that loved to gossip about her and Sora. A friend of a friend did, and Kairi struck gold with the  _ Mare Caelestis Reporter. _ The eyes of the head editor about popped out of his head when the queen herself waltzed into his joint store/printing press at the edge of town. He was a thin man with glasses and wore a sharp-looking suit and bowtie.

“I’d like to do a special feature,” Kairi said sweetly, like she was requesting an interview with a legitimate newspaper. “About my relationship with the king.”

“But Your Majesty… surely you know what kind of enterprise I run.”

“I’m well aware,” she said as she and Alma exchanged looks. “Which is precisely why I came to you, Maximus. Is it okay if I call you Max for short?”

“Um, sure—”

“So what do you say? Will you do this interview with me or not?”

“I… I’d love to.”

Max led her into a back room that was cluttered with old magazines, paparazzi photos, and a lumpy looking couch and a banged up chair. She and Alma took the couch, and Max offered them some water before settling into the chair and grabbing a notepad and pencil.

“So, Your Majesty, what would… what would you like to discuss today?”

Kairi set her cup down on the nearest clear surface. She spotted a paparazzi shot of her and Sora from the night of the Bonfire Festival: the moment Sora had lifted her up in the air to celebrate the first snow.

“Mind if I keep this?” she said sweetly.

“Oh, um, not at all,” Max said as she tucked the photo into her purse.

She leaned back against the couch and sighed. “And to answer your question, Max… I’d like to bare it all. Everything about my relationship with the king. How we met… how we fell in love… how we fought fate to be together… and how we keep the spark alive.”

Max was furiously taking notes, and Kairi couldn’t help but smirk. This was probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him. He’d get to use her to boost his magazine’s popularity, on her terms, and she’d get to spread the narrative that nothing should stand in the way of love.

And what better way to do that than to work with a trashy tabloid magazine that everyone read, even if they didn’t want to admit it?

* * *

The next morning, Kairi strolled into the dining room earlier than normal. Sora was already seated there with his usual cup of coffee, reading the latest issue of the tabloid magazine.

Oh boy. She’d gotten full permission from him to do this and share some of the… spicier aspects of their lives, so long as she kept it vague, but she was pretty sure there were some things in there that would make him blush all the same. Especially with Max’s embellishment. She’d made sure she got to read the final interview before it went to the press, as she didn’t want anything she didn’t know about sneaking in there, but the finished product was still over the top.

“That was when I knew… without a doubt… it was love!” he read dramatically, and Kairi burst into giggles.

“Good morning to you too,” she said as she kissed his head. 

“I was SO in love, I knew I just HAD to be with him!!!” Sora continued. “And how AWFUL is it that some stupid LAW would keep us apart?! Not true love! True love knows no bounds. It sacrifices all, gives all, like Sora gave it all for me.”

He trailed off at that, and his eyes met hers. “Kairi…”

“Keep reading,” she said as she took her seat next to him and put her hand over his. “It gets better.”

Sora nodded and squeezed her hand. “Thankfully, Sora is as STUBBORN as I am (at this the queen giggles into her hand), and since he’s the king, he can marry whoever he DAMN WELL PLEASES (quoted from the king himself after a particularly spicy burn directed at the jealous Lady Diana, who was clearly unhappy that she isn’t the one sitting on the throne).”

Sora paused and chuckled. “Wow, they caught that reference, huh? This Max guy is good. He must have eyes and ears everywhere.” He cleared his throat and continued reading. “The queen pauses to take a sip of her water. She meets my eyes and smiles sweetly at me. It’s no wonder the king took such a liking to her, she has enough charm to knock even a seasoned veteran like me off guard.”

Sora raised an eyebrow. “Someone has a crush,” he muttered as he took a sip of his coffee. 

Kairi grinned and stroked his fingers. “What, are you jealous?”

“Nah, I know who’s satisfying you every night, and it’s not this guy,” he said with a mischievous grin. “It’s yours truly.”

“Maybe you can remind me…” 

He twined their fingers together. “Mmm, yes, that sounds good. Very, very good. But first I wanna finish reading this.” 

He read the rest of Kairi’s fervent appeal to love, including her wish that no more barriers would come between it any longer. Hopefully it would get people talking about the issue, and she’d even asked Julia and Cornelia to talk to as many townspeople as they could about it.

Then he got to the part about “keeping the spark alive.” His face turned bright red and he slammed the magazine shut after reading only a single sentence.

“Kai, really?” he moaned, burying his face in his hands.

“Yes, really. You know sex sells. I was careful not to give too many details like you asked. Just enough to get people’s imaginations going.”

She pried the magazine back open and prompted him. “Teasing works…”

“Teasing works,” he mumbled. “Five tips to tease your man.”

When he read Max’s commentary on the tips, he nearly choked on his coffee, he was laughing so hard. 

“Do you think the queen might mean she and the king have sex EVERY WEEK?” he read dramatically, and Kairi laughed along with him. 

“The shock! The scandal! A husband and wife having sex every week! It’s unheard of!” Kairi said as she wiped the tears out of her eyes.

“Max, oh Max,” Sora said with a dramatic sigh. “We don’t have sex every week. We have sex every day.”

Kairi raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? I can’t seem to remember today’s sex…”

Sora went to the doors and locked them. Then he closed the curtains. When he came back to the table, he simply said, “Bend over.” 

Oh my. Sora had joked about this sort of thing before, but he actually seemed serious about it this time. She swallowed and stood, then leaned over the table, desire already building between her legs.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now,” he said as he lifted her skirts and pulled her panties down. “But first… I think I want you to do something for me.”

Her breath caught and she clutched the tablecloth. Sora had her bent over the table with her butt exposed. Even though the doors were locked and the curtains were shut, she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone might walk in on them. And that… that was really turning her on. 

“What?” she asked him when she’d collected herself enough to speak. 

“Beg.”

She took a deep breath. “Sora, please.”

“Please what?”

“Please… please fuck me.”

She heard him unzip his pants, and glanced backwards to see him stroking himself.

“No, you don’t get to look,” he said. “I’ll fuck you when I’m ready.”

She whimpered and turned back around. “Sora…”

She had to listen as he stroked himself, his moans and sighs like torture because she didn’t get to see what he was doing. Didn’t get to be a part of it, either. When she got so horny she started humping the table, he told her to stop, his voice low and rough.

She bit back the urge to groan. “Sora, please, I can’t take this any longer…”

“Oh? I think you can. I took your teasing pretty well the other night…”

“Sora!”

She felt his hands on her butt, kneading it and stroking it. “You have a great ass, Kairi, you know that? I focus so much on your boobs that I tend to neglect it, but really, it deserves just as much praise.”

She whimpered and moaned as he kept touching her, then yelped when he playfully nipped her. He chuckled softly, then went back to touching her. 

“Better watch the volume there, Kairi, we wouldn’t want the servants to find out you’re so horny you’re begging me to fuck you over the breakfast table.”

“Then get it over with already!” she whined. “Please, I’m yours for the taking.”

“And I’ll take you, trust me,” he practically purred. “I’m just gonna take my time.”

He touched her butt some more, then slid his fingers inside of her and teased her with them. Slowly, lazily, stroking her right around the edges of her most sensitive spots. Not nearly enough to get her to come, but enough to keep her aroused.

“There, how’s that? I’m fucking you like you asked.”

She clutched the tablecloth. “It’s not enough, I need more.”

“More of my fingers?”

“No, I need… I need to be filled up.”

“With what?” he said as he teased her most sensitive spots, making her moan and fuck herself harder on his fingers.

“You know what! Get inside me already!”

“No. You need to beg.”

She groaned. “Oh, fine. Your cock. Please. I need your cock.”

“Atta girl,” he murmured. “That’s how you beg.”

His fingers slid out of her, and she heard him licking them soon afterwards, moaning softly as he savored her taste. When he was through, she felt him brush against her entrance, making her moan again.

“I won’t be gentle,” he told her as he teased her with his head.

“I don’t want you to be.”

“Good.”

He eased his way in, finally filling her up like she’d craved, and she whimpered once he was fully inside her. Worth all the begging he’d made her do. 

“There we go,” he said with a sigh. “I won’t promise you’ll come this time… just that I will.”

Once he deemed her sufficiently warmed up, he gave her the pounding they were both craving. Oh it felt good to be used like this, to hear his grunts and moans as he fucked her. There was something so wrong about what they were doing, getting it on here of all places. This nice dining room, with its long table and its plush chairs and the big gold curtains over the windows, was not the place anyone would expect the king to be pounding into the queen from behind, and yet here they were.

At one point he reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers together, then continued. Even while fucking her like this he craved that personal connection, that sense of intimacy. Or maybe it was his way of reassuring her that yes, he might be pounding into her like she was his plaything, but she was still treasured. Valued. Adored.

When he was getting close, he told her, “Beg me to come in you,” his voice all gravelly.

“Please, Sora, please,” she moaned as he thrust into her, too far gone to care how desperate she sounded right now. 

He groaned and thrust harder, and she went over the edge as she imagined him coming inside of her. He kept thrusting into her as she squeezed around him till he finally did, filling her up like she’d asked. 

She collapsed onto the table, her energy spent. Wow. That was all she could think. Wow.

Sora slid out of her and pulled her panties back up, then lowered her skirts. Done with fucking her, back to business as usual. Except that it wasn’t, she was still full of his come and recovering from how good that was.

“There,” he said as he stroked her hair. “Our reputation as the sex-crazed lovebirds is upheld.” He gently helped her up, and she smiled and stood on her tiptoes so she could kiss him.

“I can still feel you inside me,” she murmured as they embraced afterwards.

“Good. I want you to be thinking about me all day.”

“I already do.”

“Guess the  _ Mare Caelestis Reporter  _ isn’t so far off after all.”

Kairi sighed. She could only hope all her careful plans to help Marcus and Lygia would work.

“Hey, was that okay?” Sora asked as he ran his fingers through her hair. “Me being bossy like that, I mean.”

“Oh, it was, trust me,” she told him. “I enjoyed it very much.”

He relaxed. “Okay, good.” 

“And it’s okay that you enjoyed it too,” she told him softly.

He kissed her cheek. “How’d you know that was what was on my mind?”

“Because I know you, Sora. I know your heart.”

She rested her head on his chest and listened to it now. 

“Hear that?” he murmured as he kissed her hair. “It beats for you.”

She got a little choked up at that. Everyone deserved to have a love like this, if they so desired it. And that was why she had to help Marcus and Lygia. That was why she had to win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: making out, PIV sex (missionary and then doggy style). Sora teases and edges Kairi this time. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you've had a good week. This chapter was also fun to write; I like delving into the world of Mare Caelestis more and exploring the lives of the people who live there. The magazine interview especially was a lot of fun to write. Hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week!


	31. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

“Kairi, I’m happy to report the whole town’s talkin’ about the marriage law,” Cornelia said, a big grin on her face as she and Julia caught her up on everything that had happened in town over the last few weeks. 

They were sitting at a little café by the sea, sipping iced tea and nibbling on scones outside because the breeze here made the hot weather tolerable, even with Kairi’s layers of clothing. She was carefully disguised for this little rendezvous, and she wanted to make sure it stayed that way. 

“And about the latest article,” Julia added. “They know we’re good friends with you. They keep trying to get us to blab, but mum’s the word.”

Cornelia nodded. “All we’ve said is the stuff you asked us to, dearie. If you thought you and Sora were popular before, well… they really love you now.”

Kairi smiled. “Good. Glad to hear it. Sora and I have been working on the nobles in the meantime. Lady Flavia, Lord Aurelius, and Lord Claudius. They’re our best bet. Sora’s in a meeting with them now. If he can get them to support our motion when we meet with all of the nobles in a few days, it’ll seem like it’s what they want, not just what we want.”

“Good old divide and conquer, eh?” Cornelia said with a laugh. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took another sip of her iced tea, but Kairi was silent. 

Julia frowned. “What is it, love?

“Well… it’s just that we’ve both been so busy, we haven’t gotten to spend a whole lot of time together lately.”

They’d gotten to spend some time together yesterday at dinner, sort of, but it had been taken up with discussions about what to do next. This was her idea and her project, and while Sora was supportive of that, he’d offered to step in and help more.

“Kairi, I know this means a lot to you,” he’d said in between bites. “And that’s why I want to help more with the political finagling. You’re doing a great job with the press and with the people, but if there’s anything I can do to take a load off your shoulders, I’ll be happy to.”

She lowered her fork to her plate. “That would be great, actually. So long as it’s not too much extra work on top of your other duties.”

He found her hand and held it. “It’s not, not at all. Besides,” he said as he wove their fingers together, “I’m your partner, Kairi. Your ally. We’re a team, and I’ve got your back.”

“Same to you.”

She’d hoped, after dinner, that they could spend some time together, but he’d been pulled into an emergency meeting, and she’d needed to speak with first Marcus and then Lygia about something. By the time they were done with their duties for the night, they were too tired to do anything else.

“Sorry to hear that, love,” Julia said, snapping her out of her reverie.

“I mean, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal,” Kairi said with a sigh. “Before, we used to be separated for months at a time. I just… I’ve gotten used to being with him every day.”

“Sounds like you should tell him that,” Cornelia said.

“Yeah.”

But they were both so busy by the end of the day that they didn’t have much energy. Sora reported to her briefly about the progress he was making, but their conversations felt more like business meetings instead of heartfelt exchanges between husband and wife.

The night before the big meeting with all the nobles, Kairi couldn’t take this anymore. She stopped Sora in the hallway near her room, desperate for his affection. She reached for his hand, and he stopped and turned around.

“Sora,” she cried, her voice distraught.

“Kairi? What’s wrong?”

She looked at him for a few moments, took in how concerned he was for her, the tender compassion in his eyes. 

“Hold me. Please.”

He held his arms out to her, and she threw her arms around him and nestled into his chest. It felt wonderful to be held by him. This was how it should have been the past several days. This was how it should always be.

“My queen misses her king, doesn’t she?” he said softly as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“She does.”

“Well, he misses her too.” He pulled back to cup her cheek and look her in the eye. “I’m a little tired tonight, but is there anything I can do for you, beloved?” 

She thought for a few moments. She was tired, too, and she wasn’t really in the mood for sex right now anyway. But maybe they could just spend a few moments together before going to bed.

“I just want to be with you. Maybe we could cuddle for a little while?”

“Yeah. How does a massage sound?”

“Wonderful.”

A few minutes later, and she was lying facedown on the bed as Sora massaged her bare shoulders. 

“Feels amazing,” she murmured into the pillow, and she felt his lips graze her shoulder. She gave herself over to his firm yet gentle touches as he worked his way all the way from her shoulders to her feet using the special lotion she’d gotten. 

When he was through, she sighed and held her arms out to him, and he snuggled into her embrace and rested his head on her chest. He really must have been tired though, because he didn’t even try to nuzzle or kiss her boobs the way he usually did when they cuddled like this. 

“Just wanna… hear your heartbeat,” he murmured.

She ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his head. “Go ahead.”

He dozed off, and she smiled as she watched his breathing even out. The knight in the arms of his beloved princess, home at last after a long and difficult journey.

She would’ve been perfectly content to hold him all night, but he stirred before too long, like there was a part of him that wouldn’t let himself fully relax. 

“Kai…” he slurred as his eyes blinked open. 

“You can stay, you know. You don’t have to leave.”

“Can’t. Still have… darkness. In my heart.”

“Sora, there’s always been darkness in your heart, and there always will be.”

She was the outlier, with her heart of pure light. Everyone else was supposed to have a little darkness in their hearts, Sora included.

He sleepily shook his head. “No. Different darkness. Wants to hurt you. Can’t let it hurt you. Almost gone now, but still a little left.”

“What would make it go away for good, then?”

He rolled off of her and yawned. “Man, it’s not even that late. I’m turning into a grandpa.” He found his shirt and put it back on, and she gnawed on her lip.

“Sora, why aren’t you answering my question?”

He hesitated, then bent down to give her a goodnight kiss. “Because it’s something I don’t have the answer to,” he said afterwards. “Now get some sleep, you have your big speech tomorrow.”

She caught his hand before he could leave. “Sora?”

“Yeah? What is it?”

She thought of Naminé’s words, thought about how her friend couldn’t even tell her the answer because it would ruin it somehow. Was that why Sora was being so evasive, too?

“I don’t know exactly how yet,” she said, “but… I’ll help you defeat the rest of that darkness. Not your natural darkness… the darkness that shouldn’t be there. So your heart can be fully restored.”

“Just like the princess from the story,” he said as he lifted her hand and kissed it. “Thank you, Kairi.”

“No, thank you. Thank you for trusting me to have your back. I’m sorry I was so unfair to you before, when we first got married. I know you only have the best of intentions at heart.” 

“No, I have you,” he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m a better man because of you.”

“You’re the best man, with or without me,” she told him, smiling shyly. 

“And you’re gonna deliver an awesome speech tomorrow,” he said as he gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. “You got this, Kai.”

He turned out the lights and said goodnight, and Kairi felt better than she had in days. With his support, she felt like she could take on anything and win. His encouragement was just what she needed to ease her nerves and help her fall asleep.

And right before she did, she vowed to make good on her promise to restore his heart. Not because it was her duty, but because… because the princess loved the knight, with all her heart.

* * *

Kairi fidgeted with her notecards and took a few deep breaths. Instead of the usual meeting room with its round table, she was in a large hall with tiered seats, standing smack dab in the middle of them. Sitting all around her in plush red velvet chairs were nobles, legal experts, lawyers, representatives and ambassadors from other worlds…

In other words, she couldn’t afford to screw this up. Marcus and Lygia were counting on her.

Maybe… maybe she should’ve let Sora handle this. He was naturally good at giving speeches, and charismatic to boot. This would be no problem for him. For her, it was a different story. All of her carefully planned words had fled her mind, and her notecards were damp from sweat.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t. What had she been thinking, trying to—

Her eyes found Sora’s. He was sitting in the third row next to Lady Flavia, Lord Aurelius, and Lord Claudius. The seat to his right was empty, and when their eyes met, his gaze was steady, calm, and his eyes were more blue than green. When he saw the expression on her face, his gaze softened, and he smiled and nodded. 

His words from last night rang through her head. “You got this, Kai.” Looking at all the other people, she was nervous, but maybe, if she looked at him, it would be okay. He was her audience of one, and if she could pretend she was just talking to him, maybe she could get through this.

She took a deep breath and began. “Thank you all for coming here today,” she called out, her voice a little shaky but loud enough to get the job done. She could feel every eye in the room on her now, but Sora’s gaze was the only one that mattered. She focused on him and continued. 

“As you all know, His Majesty and I have summoned you here to discuss our proposed change to the law. At this time, we would like to open up the floor to discussion. Would anyone like to—”

Kairi bit back the urge to groan. Of course Lady Diana had her hand up to speak. Kairi couldn’t exactly tell her no, but the prospect was tempting. She would try to ruin everything, Kairi just knew it. In her mind she and Sora had ruined everything for her, after all.

“Queen Kairi,” Lady Diana said when everyone was quiet, and her voice was icy as her cold green gaze locked itself on Kairi. “In the document you sent us, you made an impassioned appeal to our emotions. But the law is not about passion or feeling, but reason and tradition. You yourself have admitted that you are a newcomer to our land, and yet you think you know what is best for us. Fleeting feelings do not make for a strong marriage. A good match with people from similar backgrounds and with similar expectations does. Yet you advocate for marriage based on passion alone. Maybe you have had your happily ever after, but the reality is, for most people, such a mismatch in social standing and wealth would end in disaster. The laws as they are now exist to prevent such heartache and suffering. ”

Sora opened his mouth to say something, but Kairi shook her head. She had to handle this. It was her idea, and she had to be ready to deal with pushback for it. Even if the pushback was full of strawmanning and missing the point.

“Never have I said that such issues wouldn’t ever arise,” she said, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice, “merely that people should have the freedom to choose for themselves who to marry. Why are you advocating that we keep that freedom out of the people’s hands?” 

“I’m not arguing to keep freedom out of the people’s hands, I simply want everyone to be safe and happy.”

“But what if this is what’s best for their happiness?”

Lady Diana huffed. “I meant their long-term happiness, not fleeting whims and fancies.”

“Then why not let them decide for themselves what makes them happy? Is it because you’re afraid that your already tenuous grip on power might be further weakened? In times like this we must think of what is best for everyone, not just our own personal interests.” 

Lady Diana’s eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. “How dare you accuse me of selfishness! I only want what is best for the people. My people.”

“My people,” Kairi echoed. “You still don’t see me as the rightful queen of this realm, do you? You see me as an imposter. In your eyes I am nothing more than the peasant who stole what should have been yours by rights. Very well, but please, keep your passions and feelings out of a debate about law and reason.”

The look on Lady Diana’s face was priceless, as was the one on Sora’s. She could tell he was trying really hard not to burst out laughing at her bluntness. 

“Fine!” Lady Diana snapped. “You’re right. I am swayed by passion. But if you can include your simpering, nauseating feelings in that document, then I don’t see the issue with me sharing my feelings. There is a natural order to this realm, and you have ruined it by coming here. Long had His Majesty’s arrival been foretold, and I waited all my life to meet him. I was prophesied to rule someday, and I knew in my heart of hearts that I would do so by his side. But then you came along, a complete nobody, with no social standing, no royal blood, no prospects or wealth, and stole what was rightfully mine. The laws exist to protect people like me from thieves like you, and you tread all over them. You may have succeeded this time, but I won’t let you succeed again. I will protect the nobles from people like you who wish to take everything from them and give it to people who don’t deserve their hard-earned wealth!”

Kairi took a deep breath. She knew she had to tread carefully here. The room was full of nobles, and she didn’t want to insult them or make light of their concerns. Lady Diana had played her cards well by pitting Kairi against the very people she was appealing to. 

“I cannot deny that our differences here in this realm are great,” she finally said. “You are nobility, and though I am a Princess of Heart, I come from a humble background. But I would ask everyone here in this room to think about all the times I have proved myself over the past eleven months. Entertaining our guests from other worlds. Creating new events and celebrating old traditions to make our people’s hearts glad. Helping build the new orphanage. And now, lobbying for equality. Because that is all this comes down to. Perhaps true equality will never exist in this realm, but the least I can ask for is equality of opportunity. That everyone be given a chance to marry who they love and pursue their dreams. I have accomplished much in less than a year simply because His Majesty has given me the chance. All I ask is that you, our trusted nobles, extend the same courtesy to our people.”

She took her seat, and there was murmuring throughout the room.

“Lady Diana? Any closing thoughts?” Sora said. His voice was strained, and the way his eye twitched and one of his veins bulged out of his forehead betrayed his anger. And yet he did not express that anger. With a start Kairi realized why: he was letting her handle this, like he promised. Because he trusted her to do it. Because he knew she could. 

She smiled at him, and he relaxed a little. But then Lady Diana’s grating voice rang out. 

“I’m not foolish. I can see many of you disagree with me. But if ‘Queen’ Kairi pushes for this, what’s next? That our taxes are raised? That we have to turn our land over to be redistributed among the peasants? Give her an inch and she’s going to take a mile! She’s a good-for-nothing scullery maid hellbent on using you all, just like she uses the king for his wealth and power and makes him kneel at her feet like a—”

“ENOUGH!” 

Sora was absolutely livid. Kairi wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him so angry in her life. His eyes were narrowed into green slits and his face was turning purple and his breathing was so loud it could easily be heard. His natural darkness was getting agitated by this, as well as whatever additional darkness lingered inside of him, and it was like everyone could sense it. The room was dead silent, and for once Lady Diana looked afraid. 

He stood and faced her, and all the color drained from her face. “It’s bad enough that you have insulted me. For that alone I could strip you of your title and banish you like I banished your father.” 

She gasped. “Your Majesty, my apologies, I didn’t mean to—”

“I won’t banish you,” Sora continued, “because unlike you, I rule with my head, not just my heart. And I have my friends and advisors for when my passion gets the best of me. That being said, I will not tolerate you speaking to my wife the queen like this. You of all people should know that personal attacks have no business in a debate about the law. And no matter what you or anyone else says, I love her of my own free will, of my own free volition, and I will continue to love her for the rest of my days. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that. Now get out, before I have you forcibly removed from my presence.”

She sniffed haughtily and stuck her nose in the air, already back to her old ways now that she knew Sora wasn’t going to banish her. “Very well, Your Majesty. It’s a shame you had to resort to abusing your power to silence the opposition, but—”

“Get out. Now.” 

She hastily grabbed her things, and when she was gone, the tension in the room eased. 

“Contrary to what Lady Diana may say,” Sora said, considerably calmer now, “I am not opposed to hearing pushback and discussion. I only ask that you keep it respectful. Whatever concerns you may have, I want to hear them so we can work through them and choose the best solution going forward.”

The discussion that followed was downright civil compared to the one that came before. The nobles were honest about their concerns, and Sora and Kairi both did their best to address them. The lawyers chimed in with their legal expertise, and after a few more hours, they were about ready to put the matter to a vote.

But before they did, Kairi needed to give one final speech, like she and Sora had planned. This could make all the difference between success and failure, and she had to succeed. So she focused on him again and took a deep breath.

“If I may say a few final words before we put this to a vote.”

No one disagreed, so she continued. 

“As you all know, I have not been here with you in Kingdom Hearts for long. I am a newcomer to Mare Caelestis, like Lady Diana said. It is now August, and I only arrived last September. In many ways you have all been my teachers, sharing all the wonderful things about your world with me—those delicious oranges, the beautiful sea, all the wonderful festivals. But as lovely as Mare Caelestis is, it’s the people who make it truly special. My friends Cornelia and Julia welcomed a stranger into their home. My boss Priscilla and my coworker Marcus were kind to me from the moment I stepped foot in the king’s kitchen. My lady-in-waiting, Alma, and the head of the royal guard, Octavius, have protected me and guided me along my journey. Many more of you have also opened your hearts to me, and for that I couldn’t be more grateful.” 

She paused and let the audience absorb her words. Sora gave her a slight nod, and she continued.

“But most of all, it is my husband the king who has made this place a home for me.”

His lips parted, and she smiled and continued. 

“He is my rock and my shelter. Where we are doesn’t matter. So long as I’m with him, I know I’m home. And Mare Caelestis wouldn’t be home for him without me, either.”

His eyes were locked on hers, and she couldn’t look away.

“I know, when we first got married, that many of you thought I was just using him. For his wealth, for his status, for his looks. Trust me, I heard all the rumors. I even spread a few myself.”

There was some light laughter, and she allowed herself a gracious smile.

“But what it came down to was this: there was no way a king would want to marry a scullery maid. Our differences in station were too great. We could never make it work. Our marriage was reckless and foolish and doomed to fail.”

She took a deep breath. “And you know what? It was reckless, and perhaps a little foolish, too. But not because of our differences in station. No, it was my own cold heart, so scared of being hurt that I… I wouldn’t allow myself to love anymore. That was what caused us to suffer, what spurred all those rumors about the first few months of our marriage. I wed myself to him thinking he was the heartless one, that he was the one who needed help. But I was so blinded by my own pain that I couldn’t see that I was the heartless one. I was the one living with my heart locked away.”

Sora’s eyes were misty, and the whole room was silent as they waited to hear the rest. 

“But the story doesn’t end there. Thank goodness it doesn’t end there. And you know why? Because His Majesty loves me. He loves me with all his heart. And it was that love that drove him to stay with me. That love that has nurtured my heart, day by day.”

Her voice kept breaking, but she didn’t care. Sora was crying now, but the tears weren’t unhappy ones. They were like the tears of a man who was seeing the light for the first time after spending a lifetime trapped in darkness.

“Sora is kind, caring, and compassionate,” she continued. “He follows his heart, even when it hurts him. He loves without holding anything back, even when it costs him. He has sacrificed so much for me, for our friends, for Mare Caelestis. We are all who we are because of him. And I speak for him when I say that he wouldn’t be who he is today without me, without you, without all of us.”

She was getting more nods, and Sora was nodding too, even as he wiped his eyes. 

“Our marriage has made me a better person. Our marriage has made him a better person, too. We’re partners. We’re a team. I’m his wife, and he’s… he’s my beloved husband.”

She worked up the courage to look at him again, and a change had come over him. If she was the light, he was reflecting and amplifying that light till it shone throughout the heavens. His smile was huge and his eyes were a brilliant blue. For a moment she thought he might as well be a god, as beautiful and radiant as he was right now. 

Was this what Naminé had been talking about all along? Was this the missing piece? If so, she wished she had found it much sooner. Sora was beginning to truly believe that she loved him, and his joy couldn’t be contained at the prospect. 

His love made her bold, and the words came easily now. “We are better people when we’re together, but none of that would have been possible if the laws and customs of this land had prevented us from getting married. Now, as the king Sora has more of a choice as to who he can marry, but not all of our subjects are so lucky.” 

She took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth. Would her audience be swayed by her appeal, or would she be met with hard hearts?

“I know there are customs and traditions and laws that have governed this world far longer than I have been here. It is not my place to tell you to change them for my sake. But I must ask you to reconsider, for the sake of your sons and daughters and grandsons and grandaughters, the laws governing marriage in this realm. Isn’t their happiness, their chance at finding love like the king and I have found love, more important to you than a rule designed to tear their hearts to shreds if they are unlucky enough to love the ‘wrong’ person?”

She looked at Sora again. “Sora and I were once so unlucky. No, for a good portion of our lives, fate has kept us apart. Please, if you love your sons and daughters, do not make them suffer as we have suffered. Let them follow their hearts. Let them live. And most of all, let them love.”

The room was dead silent for a few moments, and then Lygia’s mother started clapping. In many ways she looked like her daughter—same red hair and elegant poise, but with blue eyes instead of green ones. She paused for a moment to wipe her eyes, and Lygia’s father was no longer the stoic man that had so coldly told his daughter she would be cut off if she continued to see Marcus. Lygia’s mother resumed her clapping, and this time he joined her, slowly at first, a little hesitantly, but gaining more and more confidence. Soon their clapping was joined by more clapping, and that clapping by still more clapping, spreading like a wave throughout the room until almost everyone was thunderously applauding Kairi.

Her heart was racing as she watched the scene unfold before her. Perhaps her message had reached their hearts after all. She smiled and bowed her head, then made her way over to Sora. As she took the seat next to him, he found her hand and kissed it. Without fear, without hesitation, like he wanted everyone to know how much he loved her. When he looked up into her eyes afterwards, it was with absolute adoration and affection. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and he brought her hand under the table and wove their fingers together, grasping her hand tightly then relaxing his grip, tightly then relaxing his grip. He was doing the thing they used to do when they were teens, when they were desperate to show each other affection any way they could.

She squeezed back, and he had the “I want to hold you and kiss you” look in his eyes. She gently stroked his hand with her thumb, because this would have to be enough for now. He tapped her back, three taps in quick succession, and she blushed and smiled.

Someone cleared their throat (probably Octavius), and Sora kissed her hand again and stood so he could take the floor. She let her hand linger in his for as long as possible, a good luck charm wishing him the best. He squeezed back, then strode confidently to the middle of the room. 

“Thank you, Kairi, for summing everything up so eloquently,” his voice boomed. “I think we can all agree that that was one heck of a speech.”

His eyes were dancing with affection for her, and he had a huge grin on his face. There were general murmurs of agreement, and he continued. 

“But I’m sure you are all ready to vote on this matter. All those in favor of the proposed changes to the marriage law, please stand and say, ‘Aye.’”

As tempted as Kairi was to spring to her feet and say the magic word, she held herself back. She wanted someone else to be the first to do it.

“Aye,” Lady Flavia said, her voice calm and confident. She looked at Kairi and winked, and Kairi smiled back. 

“Aye,” Lord Claudius said, and Lord Aurelius joined him soon after. Soon a chorus of “ayes” filled the room, and Lygia’s parents were among them. The majority were in agreement. Kairi’s heart pounded in her chest. She couldn’t believe it. All their hard work had paid off. 

“The ‘ayes’ have it!” Sora cried, his face lighting up. “The law will be passed!” 

Afterwards, after the remaining announcements and pleasantries, when everyone else had filed out of the room and they no longer had to maintain decorum, she raced down the steps to Sora and threw herself into his outstretched arms. 

They both laughed with delight as he spun her around. When he set her back down on her feet, his face was just inches from hers. 

“We did it, Sora! We really did it!” she said as she tried to catch her breath. 

“All thanks to you and that beautiful speech, beloved,” he murmured, a huge smile on his face. She returned the smile and leaned in close to kiss him when he stiffened and looked at something behind them. He cleared his throat, and she hastily pulled away from him.

“Lord Lucas and Lady Mariana,” Sora said, greeting Lygia’s parents. “To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?”

“We wanted to thank you,” Lady Mariana said. 

“It wasn’t easy to admit we were wrong about this whole thing,” Lord Lucas continued, “but if Your Majesty and Her Majesty can make such a difference in standing work, then perhaps Lygia and Marcus can as well.”

“We only want what is best for our daughter. Thank you for helping us see that however well-intentioned we were, making her miserable is not an acceptable way to do that.”

“Of course,” Sora said. “We’re glad we could help you reconcile.”

They spoke with Lord Lucas and Lady Mariana for a little while longer, and Kairi could tell Sora was getting a little impatient. She grinned at the thought that he was aching to be alone with her. Once they finally were, however, Marcus and Lygia came in to thank them profusely. 

“Your Majesties, thank you so much! This is the best news ever!” Marcus cried. 

“Our pleasure,” Kairi said. “We’re just happy you and Lygia can be happy.”

She hugged a beaming Lygia, and Marcus high-fived Sora, and before long the two lovebirds were scampering out of the room to celebrate.

Sora looked at the clock on the wall and sighed dramatically, and Kairi frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“We have another meeting in ten minutes in a different part of the castle, and I was hoping we could spend time together before that.”

“I have a better idea,” Kairi said. “You think about how horny you are for the rest of the day,” she murmured as her hand went to his crotch, “how badly you desire me, how much you want to make love to me after nearly a week of not getting to feel me…” at this she squeezed his dick, making him moan, “and then you’ll find out what I plan on doing to you tonight after we have dinner together.”

She giggled and released him, making as if to leave the room, only for him to grab her hand and bring her back to him. He kissed her with abandon, and she had it just as bad for him as he did for her. They were both a little drunk off of their success and off of each other, and it was with great effort that she didn’t escalate things further.

“Deal,” he said at last when he released her, panting for breath. “Whatever it is you have planned, I know it’ll be awesome. Because you’re awesome, and with you, I truly feel like a king.” 

After they had calmed down and made themselves presentable, they went to the next meeting. And even though Sora probably didn’t realize it, his words had set the wheels turning in her head.

She knew exactly how she wanted to celebrate with him tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi teases Sora briefly at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you've had a good week. Thank you to everyone who's left kudos and comments. I wanted Kairi to have her big moment to shine, and I also wanted to give her a moment where she publicly confesses how she feels about Sora (albeit in an indirect manner). Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll see you next week!


	32. The Throne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end notes for content warnings.

By the time Sora made it to dinner that night, he was going crazy with anticipation. Kairi had promised him something good, and there was this need gnawing away at him, this desire to be close to her, to be one with her, to share his love with her and hope that her speech today had meant what he thought it had meant. 

He was desperate for her and they both knew it. He was putty in her hands, ready to be played with and teased if it meant she might provide his body with sweet relief and give his heart the love he was craving so badly. Though she played it cool and greeted him sweetly as he entered the dining room, he could tell she was just as wound up, just as excited as he was. Her eyes were sparkling, her pupils were dilated, and her cheeks were flushed as he took his seat next to her. 

They chatted about a number of things as they dug into their food, the tension between them building and building until at last Kairi addressed the elephant in the room.

“May I ask for an audience tonight, my king?”

Her voice was sweet and charming as she took a sip of her wine, but the devious sparkle in her eyes as she coyly glanced up at him…

Gulp.

“Yes, you may,” he managed as he speared his steak with his fork. “Where would you like to—”

“The throne room.”

Sora nearly choked on the piece of steak he’d just put in his mouth. Kairi was tracing her finger around the edge of her wineglass and looking into his eyes with a slight smirk dancing around the corners of her mouth. Boy, was she a bold one. Their victory today must be a big part of that, but he couldn’t really say that he minded.

“The throne room?” he repeated, just to make sure. Of course his voice went higher, too. He hated it when it did that, but it just seemed to amuse Kairi.

She nodded, slowly, deliberately, her fingers running up and down the stem of the wineglass, up and down and up and down as she continued to gaze into his eyes.

Gulp. 

“I’d like an audience with the king. In all his royal finery.” She placed her hand over his, and an electric jolt went down his spine where their fingers touched. “His robes…” She paused, and her hand went up his arm and fluttered across his chest to lightly tug at his crown necklace. “His jewelry…” 

The room felt a lot hotter all of a sudden, maybe because his body felt like it was on fire.

“And… if the king wills it… his crown, too,” she teased, her voice low and husky, her hand brushing through his hair.

She was _really _feeling bold tonight. She’d never asked for something this… this risky. He knew he should say no. He knew he should point out the risk of them getting caught.

But he didn’t want to. 

“Only if the queen will likewise dress for the occasion,” he said after a few moments, when he could speak again.

“Your wish is my command,” she murmured into his ear, then excused herself from the table. “Oh, and don’t forget your scepter,” she called over her shoulder in a sing-song voice, winking as she glanced back at him. 

Sora couldn’t finish his food fast enough. His heart was pounding and his face was flushed and all he could think about was Kairi. Her teasing voice, her full lips, her soft skin, her red hair. Sure, they were married, but the things her teasing made him want to do to her were still enough to make him blush.

He dismissed the servants for the evening and made it clear he and Kairi should be left alone. He even enlisted Octavius’s help to make sure that no one would disturb them. He had the feeling things were gonna get interesting tonight, and that feeling was enough to make it really hard to focus on anything else.

Try as he might, jumping into the shower wasn’t enough to cool him down, even when he braved several seconds of cold water to try. Oh well. He’d expected as much.

He looked at himself in the mirror afterwards, dripping water, wearing nothing but his crown necklace and his wedding ring. His eyes were green, but that was to be expected. Still not blue like he had hoped, but much better than yellow. No monster taunting him in the mirror, either. Just his reflection staring back at him.

After that he dried himself off and then got dressed as quickly as he could, wearing what Kairi had asked him to.

The real treat, though, would be to see what she was wearing. That was what drove him to the throne room and made him push open the big double doors where he knew she was waiting for him.

“You’re late,” she said with a pout on her red lips, her voice echoing towards him. She was lounging on her throne with a stern expression, tapping her high-heel clad foot against the floor and drumming her fingers against her arm.

How she’d managed to dress up as much as she had when he’d rushed to meet her here as soon as possible was a mystery. She was wearing her crown and her royal robes, and her makeup and hair looked great, too. Did she have some kind of time magic or something?

And her dress… light blue with fluttery fabric that did little to hide what was underneath.

Yeah, he couldn’t wait to get that off of her.

“A king is never late,” he said, ascending the steps to her as fast as he could while still maintaining some semblance of dignity. He took her outstretched hand and kissed it, kneeling at her feet as he did. “Everyone else is just early.”

“Even the queen?” she said with a raised eyebrow as he glanced up at her.

He grinned. “What, were you looking forward to an audience with your king that much?”

“Maybe,” she said, her lips twitching. “But you need to be on your throne for that to happen.”

He rose to his feet as gracefully as he could. Kairi’s eyes flickered downwards and she gave him a knowing smirk. He just grinned and pretended not to notice as he briefly looked around for any toys she might have stashed nearby, maybe the cuffs or one of the other things she’d bought lately. 

Huh, nothing. So he took his seat next to her on his throne, and as he did, she rose slowly from hers, looking poised and regal the way he never could. Sora guessed it came with the territory. She was a Princess of Heart who had become queen, and he was an islander bumpkin who had stumbled into power. And yet here they were, king and queen, about to celebrate their success earlier today. For tonight at least, he wanted to forget about all the stuff that had kept them separated and focus on what brought them together.

Thankfully, Kairi was more than enough to keep him distracted. She was leaning over his throne now, tracing all the intricate details with her fingers, the part that looked like wings, the ornate armrests, even the plush red back. He got a nice view down the top of the dress, too, her chest heaving just inches away from his face.

“I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to sit on this throne,” she said in a low, sultry voice, “but since it’s yours… I guess I’ll have to sit on you, huh?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, and his throat felt like someone had stuck cotton down it. His mouth was completely dry, too. All before Kairi had even come anywhere close to touching him where he really wanted to be touched.

She slowly removed her cape and laid it across her throne, then took off her shoes, offering him another look down the top of her dress. The strap of it slipped down, and she lazily readjusted it. But not before he got a clear glimpse of her black bra. The dress hugged her curves really nicely, too, and she smiled and ran her fingers through her hair as his eyes roamed all over her body. 

She was taking her sweet time, that was for sure. His hand twitched, but he forced himself to sit still. Whatever she had in mind, he wanted to see it play out. 

She lowered herself onto his lap, inching backwards until her butt was pressed against him. He couldn’t help it. He let out a soft moan as she did. But then she leaned back and pressed his head into the back of the throne and cut him off with a smothered ooomph, and she giggled. She actually giggled about trapping him there. 

And then, to make things worse, she wiggled her butt as she made herself comfortable and draped her arms over his arms. Man, she was such a tease.

“It’s a different view from up here,” she noted as she settled against him. All he could manage was a smothered response.

She tilted her head to the side and glanced back at him. “What’s that? Can’t hear you.”

He tried again, but it didn’t work because she leaned her head back and gave him a mouthful of hair instead. 

“I could get used to this,” she murmured, her hand stroking his and her butt rocking back and forth and back and forth against him.

“What, sitting on me or sitting on my throne?” he finally managed, resisting every urge in his body that was screaming at him to—

“Both.” She tilted her head back again to look at him. “But I’m guessing you’d prefer a different view.”

She rolled over till she was facing him, her legs bent as she sat on his lap. “Better?” she asked with a playful tilt of her head.

As he took in the flush to her cheeks, her heaving chest, her red hair spilling over her shoulders, the black lingerie he could easily see through her dress, took all that in and felt her pressed against him with that mischievous smile on her face—

“Much better,” he said as he put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer.

And yet it wasn’t better at all. He wanted all of her clothes to be gone. Now.

His hand shook as he reached for the strap of her dress, and she made a clicking noise with her tongue and grabbed his hand before it could reach its destination.

“Oh, you didn’t think it was going to be that easy, did you?” She shifted her weight and made him twitch and groan. “No, I’m gonna make you work for it.”

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, his voice trembling. 

“Awwww, that’s too easy. I can’t just tell you, you know. Think of something and see how I respond.”

He paused for a moment, then had an idea.

“I have no idea how you got ready before me—”

“Queen’s secret,” she said with a wink.

“But you look amazing,” he said as he brought his hand to her face and cupped her cheek. “And I’m happy you’re here with me.”

He smiled as he looked into her eyes and caressed her face. She really was going all out for him. And as much as her teasing was torturing him right now, it was torture of the best kind.

She really was doing everything she could to make this as enjoyable for him as possible.

She put her hand over his, her eyes softening. “Anything for you, my king.”

His fingers trailed to the strap of her dress. This time, she didn’t stop him when he pulled it down, leaving her shoulder and part of her bra exposed. He tugged her bra strap out of the way and kissed the soft skin beneath, his lips brushing against her over and over again until she gently shoved his head away.

“You haven’t earned that yet. Next.”

He choked back a growl and forced himself to play by her rules. “A hint, please?”

“Hmmm… I guess I can give you one. Starts with a ‘C…’”

Chair? Chest? But no, she wouldn’t let him touch her there, not yet. His eyes settled on her head, and that was when he knew.

“Crown,” he said, lifting hers from her head and setting it to the side. 

She grinned and held out her hand. “Now give me yours.”

He raised his eyebrow. “Kairi, are you serious?”

“Absolutely. I think I’ve earned it after today. Besides, you know I’ll look sexy wearing it… and nothing else… as I ride you till you scream. Now hand it over.”

He paused, thought for a moment. It would be… really hot to see her wearing it… especially once they started making love… 

But instead of handing it to her, he placed it on her head himself. “There,” he said softly. “After today, you’ve more than proved yourself. My kingdom is yours, Kairi.”

Her head jerked back at that, her lips parting. “Sora—”

“What is it you desire, my beloved?” he asked, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

She hesitated, then her trembling hand found his and guided it to the other strap. He gently pulled that one down, too, and her dress slipped down and gathered at her waist, leaving her in nothing but her bra and underwear and his crown.

“Now what?” he asked, his fingers gently massaging a knot in her shoulder.

“I’m almost naked, but you’re still fully dressed,” she said with a pout. “Something needs to be done about that.”

“Will you do me the honors, then?”

She nodded and grinned. “Gladly.”

Her delicate fingers made their way to his chest and began fiddling with the buttons of his suit jacket. She worked quickly and deftly, and he got a nice view of her chest bouncing up and down as her bra tried to keep everything contained. 

“You know, we’re still sitting on my cape and robes,” he pointed out as she peeled his jacket off of him.

She raised an eyebrow as she tossed his jacket to the ground. “And?”

“Well… we’re gonna make a mess. We always do.”

She tilted her head and gave him an innocent look as she started in on his vest. “Us? Make a mess? Never!”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“Do I know magic or don’t I, Your Majesty?” she said with a teasing grin. “I can get rid of the mess that way. It’s either that or let it get all over your royal throne—”

“Okay, okay, point taken,” he said with a laugh. Her grin got bigger as she tore his vest off and chucked it over her shoulder.

“Goodness, Your Majesty, how many clothes are you wearing?” she said with a pout, a fake scowl on her face as she started unbuttoning his shirt.

Or maybe it wasn’t fake. Her fingers kept fumbling, she was trying to get his shirt off so quickly.

“Enough to make you have to work for it.”

“And all so I can see your chest, not even the goods,” she said with a dramatic sigh.

“Look, I know you like my lower half better than my upper half—”

She paused and put her finger over his lips, a soft smile on her face. “No, I like all of you, remember?” she said, almost shyly.

He returned her smile, thinking back on that night she’d showered him with affection. The night she’d helped him see that his body wasn’t awful, wasn’t poison. And right now, his whole world was sitting in his lap, and he wanted to—

But before he could say anything, before he could do anything, she ducked her head and focused on getting his shirt unbuttoned, chewing on her lower lip as she did. 

Even that made him want to pull her close and kiss her with everything he had. 

But at last his shirt had joined his pile of discarded clothes on the ground, and Kairi’s soft hands were resting on his bare chest.

“Better?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “Much better.”

They just stared at each other for a moment. Her lips were parted and her chest was heaving again, and his eyes flickered downwards to where the necklace he’d gotten her rested between her breasts.

He wished he was that necklace.

He leaned forward, wanting to feel her skin against his lips, wanting to touch her, wanting to kiss her—

“Wait,” she said softly. 

Sora stopped and looked up into her eyes. What did she have planned now?

“Hint, please?” he practically begged, trying to keep the trembling out of his voice.

“Starts with an ‘S,’” she said, then gave him a tender smile. She brought her hands to his face and gently pulled him up into her sweet kiss, and that was it. He was a goner. 

He moaned into her mouth as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, drinking in her scent, reveling in her taste. His hands boldly explored her, felt her smooth back, caressed her butt, touched all the places that had been off-limits before this moment—

Hold on a second. That underwear she was wearing—it covered even less of her than he’d thought it did. As if her sitting on top of him wasn’t enough to have him on edge already…

He broke off the kiss, panting for air. “Kairi—”

She grabbed the back of his head and smashed his face into her chest. He didn’t have to be told twice. He gave her exactly what she wanted, kissing her, teasing her with his lips and tongue and mouth as he fumbled with her bra and finally got it off. But before he could suck on her like he wanted to, she grabbed the back of his head again. 

“Wait,” she said, making him whimper. “I don’t want you to get wound up too quickly. You won’t be getting any help from cuffs or a condom to help you stay in control this time, either. All you’ll have to work with is your desire to please me. Can you handle that?” 

“Yes,” he said, desperate to go back to what he’d been doing as soon as possible. But she was in no rush. She held him for a while as his breathing evened out, even while his body cried out for relief. This was torture of the worst kind, her boobs right in front of his face when she wouldn’t allow him to do anything about it. 

“Okay, open up,” she finally said, then pushed one of them in his face. He greedily kissed and licked and sucked on it, channeling all his frustration and arousal into pleasing her as she basked in the attention. When she’d had her fill, she put her other one into his mouth so he could repeat the process, which he was happy to do. He was so horny right now he would’ve done just about anything for her. 

She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. “You have such a skilled tongue, you know that?”

He tried to answer, but he couldn’t really say anything, considering what he was doing right now. She giggled at his attempts and kept talking to him, clearly amused by this whole thing. 

“That’s right, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re a good lover, Sora.”

He moaned, her praise pushing him deeper into whatever mental state he was lost in right now. All that mattered was pleasing her and knowing she was pleased with him. Everything else paled in comparison.

She smiled. “Not just a good lover, the best lover.”

He doubled his efforts, and she cradled his head in her hands and started grinding against him. This was one of his favorite views, and one of his favorite activities, too. Completely worth all the teasing up to this point. Especially when she clung to him, her nails digging into his skin and her moans and sighs reaching his ears and urging him on. 

If he thought he was hard before, Kairi’s arousal was turning him on that much more. A little too much. Things were getting almost painful down there, and her straddling him like this really wasn’t helping. If he didn’t get relief, and soon—

He let out a low swear, because she had just slid her hand down his pants and wrapped her fingers around his dick. 

Holy shit, that felt good. It was his turn to moan as she stroked him and teased him with a playful look in her eyes that drove him wild. One hand continued to attend to him as the other unzipped his pants and got his boxers more or less out of the way. 

He was shaking, he wanted her so badly, but she was just taking her time removing their last pieces of clothing. How did she have any kind of self-control left at this point?

She removed her hand from him and slipped her panties out of the way, and finally, finally, she was completely naked. She grinned as she settled back on top of him, brushing against him to show him just how wet she was. He shuddered and twitched, and she just gave him a sly smile.

“Ready?” she said sweetly.

“Kairi—” he warned, his hand clutching the armrest of the throne.

He gasped as she enveloped him, hot and tight and wet. Not very deep yet, but it still felt incredible. He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything, could only groan as she slowly worked her way up to his full length.

She let out a deep sigh as soon as she did. “You feel so good,” she murmured. “I know you must be hair trigger sensitive right now, but it’s worth going without a condom so I can feel you.” 

This felt much better for him, too. Sure, their session with the handcuffs had been awesome, but he was glad she was depending on him to stay in control of himself this time. It was pretty great how well her body fit with his, how she was gripping and squeezing him in all the right places.

She began her slow rocking, and he moaned. Fuck, that felt good. Maybe he’d spoken too soon. If she kept this up, he wasn’t gonna last long. 

Math. Math might help. It was boring enough that it might distract him. He just had to count in his head to—

But seeing her confidently rocking away on top of him, feeling her tight and wet around him… this was not gonna be easy. And his crown on her head made it that much worse. It was as much of a turn-on as he knew it would be.

She noticed him looking at it. “This is mine,” she said with a mischievous grin as she poked it with her finger. “Just like you’re mine, mmkay?” she said as she reached for his crown necklace and tugged at it.

Sora groaned and wrapped his arms around her so he wouldn’t have to look in her eyes. If he did, he was gonna explode. 

“Shadows. Neoshadows. Dusks.”

She giggled and slowed her pace. “You’re that close, hmmm? Okay, I guess I’ll go easy on you. I did tease you an awful lot earlier.”

She wrapped her arms around him and held him, just letting him rest inside her as he recovered. When his breathing had evened out some, she ran her fingers through his hair and gently massaged his scalp.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

Slowly, carefully, she resumed her rocking. She was careful not to get him too aroused this time, and he just clung to her and counted off in his head again, thrusting into her in time with her movements. He wanted to make this good for her. He wanted to last as long as possible.

“Kairi—” he moaned when it started to get really good again.

Her nails dug into his back. “No. Try again.”

Sora leaned back and glanced up at her, curious. What did she mean by that?

Oh. His crown was still on her head. That was what she wanted.

“My queen,” he said, and she moaned. Loudly. 

“Say it again. Louder.” 

There was a desperate, hungry look in her eyes as she sped up her pace.

“You know the acoustics in this room are really good?” he said, because talking was the only thing that was gonna get his mind off coming.

Yeah, the servants had been dismissed for the night, but that didn’t mean they might not still be able to hear—

“Yes,” she practically hissed. “That’s why I want you to say it. Louder.”

He hesitated. It was one thing to make love here, it was another to be so loud that they risked waking half the castle up—

She took him deeper than she had the entire night, and Sora moaned so loudly he knew there was a high chance he was gonna wake the entire castle up anyway.

“I said, say it louder,” she said, her eyes flashing.

He could only moan again as she came down on him at just the right angle. 

“What was that?” she demanded.

“Kairi—”

“Say it, Sora! Just say it!”

“My queen!” he said right as she came down on him again, making what would’ve been a slightly loud proclamation into a really loud cry because damn, if she didn’t know how to work him.

He was so loud, in fact, that she burst out laughing, and he couldn’t help but laugh, too. 

“There we go, that’s my Sora,” she said as she giggled and cupped his cheek.

He stilled at that. It was the second time she had called him that, and he couldn’t help but be moved.

She stopped and looked at him, her eyebrows knotted into a frown. “Sora, what’s wrong? Did I go too far?”

“Not at all,” he said. “I’m just getting a little emotional is all.” He brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face. “Because I am yours, Kairi. Always and forever. I’m your… I’m your…”

He hesitated. Did he dare call himself such a thing, or would it be too bold? 

“You’re my knight,” she finished for him, cupping his face in her hands. “My dearly beloved knight.”

The tears welled up in his eyes, but he didn’t care. Let her see how much he loved her. His heart was so full right now it was spilling over anyway. He’d spent too long holding himself back, and he couldn’t bear to do it anymore. His heart was almost whole again, and it couldn’t be contained any longer.

“Show me,” he said, his voice breaking. “I need to know how you feel about me.” 

She kissed him so tenderly that he had no doubt what she was trying to say. Why had he been hung up on three simple words for so long? They weren’t what mattered; it was what was in Kairi’s heart that did. 

“I mean it,” she choked out afterwards. “You really are my knight.”

“And you’re my princess.”

She ducked her head, her face flushing even redder than it already was from their activities. He grinned as he gently lifted her chin and got her to look him in the eye.

“I could get used to this,” he teased. “I think I like being your knight more than I do your king.”

For a moment, he felt like a teenager again. Forget all this complicated ruling stuff, forget all this intrigue, he was just Sora and she was Kairi and he was with her on the beach back home. 

Except for the part where he was buried deep inside her. That was better than their teenage years had ever been. 

“What?” he said softly, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger to lighten the mood. “Cat got your tongue?”

She poked his cheek and flashed him a smile, a playful smile, a Kairi smile. “No, but do you?”

“I could…”

“Prove it.”

He did. He kissed her again, sweetly at first, then not sweetly at all. And that was enough to bring out her sexy aggressive side again. Win-win for them both.

“You’re mine,” she murmured in his ear afterwards, “and I’m going to enjoy your body as I please.”

“Be my guest.”

She resumed her rocking and grinding, and Sora just grinned and enjoyed the view. Especially when she threw her head back and closed her eyes, pushing her chest right into his face, practically.

Yeah, he was taking full advantage of that. He leaned forward and kissed her boobs, which, going by the sounds she was making, was exactly what she wanted. He let out a low moan, and she glanced down at him right as he looked up at her.

The look in her eyes, like he was her entire world, like she wanted him more than anything, desired him more than anything, loved him more than anything—

“My Sora,” she choked out, her eyes filling with tears as she smiled her most radiant smile yet. 

“My Kairi,” he said, overcome with emotion himself. And just like that, he felt the final piece of his heart fall back into place. He kissed her, over and over, desperate kisses, desperate to show her how much he loved her, how much she meant to him, desperate to bring her over the edge, to bring her ultimate pleasure before he could experience it himself—

“S-Sora?” she said, cradling his head in her arms as his hands went to her hips and guided her rhythm. “You hear—my heart?”

A muffled “yes” was all he could manage, as his mouth was otherwise occupied.

“It beats—just for you.”

If he’d thought his heart had melted before, well, it was melting all over again.

“Does your heart—beat—for me?” she asked, and when he paused and glanced up at her, there was something very vulnerable in her eyes.

“Ever since I met you,” he confessed.

“And your body? Do you desire only me?”

“You and no one else.”

He kept looking into her eyes even as he maintained their rhythm. She was getting close, he could feel it. Just a little longer, just a little further—

He couldn’t last much longer, he could feel his own climax building—

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Then show me. Come for me.”

That did it. All his careful control was gone. Good thing her boobs were there to muffle his scream, because he really would have woken up the whole castle otherwise as he poured himself into her, harder and more desperate than ever before.

Thankfully, she followed soon afterwards, his climax driving her towards her own. Tonight they’d lucked out; tonight they were coming together. Feeling her clench around him and drive him to new heights of pleasure, seeing the look in her eyes as she experienced it along with him, knowing he was the reason she was feeling so good… 

Nothing beat how amazing it was. 

There was nothing to muffle her scream, but that was okay. Totally worth waking up the castle over. 

When it was over, they just stared at each other, exhausted, spent, panting for breath, their bodies unable to move just yet.

When Sora finally could move again, he rested his head against the back of the throne. 

“…Wow,” was all he could say. “Just… wow.”

Kairi giggled and threw her arms around him. “See? I know what I’m doing.”

Sora’s arms went around her, too. “Yes, you do,” he said, stroking her sweaty hair. “My beloved.”

At some point his crown had fallen off of her head, and he didn’t really feel like looking for it. They’d gone into this as king and queen and had come out of it as knight and princess, as lover and beloved. There was no more need for crowns or jewels, no more need for things that would keep them apart.

He held her for a while as he went soft, breathing in her scent, enjoying her warm skin pressed against his and her hair tangled in his fingers. 

He wished they could stay joined like this forever. Nothing felt better than being inside her. He felt whole, complete, like a part of him was buried deep within her, and he could only reach that part when he was one with her. 

Maybe her light was what did it. Or maybe… maybe it was all just her.

But either way, they’d have to break apart eventually. At least until next time.

“Think it’s time to get up now?” he asked presently, as much as he wanted this moment to last.

“Um… I would, but my legs…”

He glanced down at them. Oh. She had been in the same position for almost the entire time. Her legs had to be aching at this point.

“I’ve got you,” he said, resting his hands on her butt to brace her against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and slowly, carefully, he rose to his feet. He readjusted her weight a little as she wrapped her legs around him to steady them both.

“What about our clothes?” she asked, glancing at the discarded pile on the floor. 

“Clothes? Who needs ‘em?” he said with a grin, rubbing his nose against hers. He wanted to cast these aside, too, these stuffy royal clothes that kept him away from her body and didn’t match their true selves at all.

Besides, his pants were covering enough of him to get by with carrying her to bed, and most of her was shielded from prying eyes by his body. But if she wanted something to cover her…

“Hold on,” he said, readjusting his grip on her so that one hand was supporting most of her weight, freeing his other hand to grab his shirt and cape and drape them over her shoulders.

“Better?” he asked.

She nodded and rested her forehead against his. “Thank you.”

He gave her a quick kiss, then slowly descended the stairs. He had to be careful not to stumble over their clothes strewn everywhere. While Kairi was easy to carry, he wouldn’t forgive himself if he dropped her because he tripped over his own two feet or her dress or his vest.

The stairs taken care of, it was simple enough to make his way to the double doors and into the hallway. Kairi’s eyelids drooped lower and lower, and before long her head was lolling against his shoulder. 

“That’s right,” he said softly. “You’re safe with me.”

She gave him a sleepy smile as he paused to adjust his grip.

“I really wore you out, didn’t I?” he teased.

“You wish,” she murmured, the words slurring together.

He just grinned and continued. No one met them in the halls, which was just as well. The servants might know something had taken place, but they didn’t need to see their king and queen in various states of undress.

Besides, Sora liked being the only one to see Kairi like this, knowing he and he alone got to see her this way. And it was a view he was very determined to keep to himself.

When he got to her door, he didn’t stop. She lifted her head and gave him an adorably confused look.

“Sora?” her sleepy voice slurred. 

“Not tonight,” he said. “Tonight, you’re sleeping with me.”

Her eyes widened and her lips parted. “Huh?”

“Isn’t it about time you slept in your husband’s bed, in your husband’s arms?” 

For too long he’d shut her out, kept her away from him, visited her room and her bed and then stolen away again like he was her lover and not her husband. 

Enough of that. He wanted to wake up next to his wife every morning from now on.

She was fully alert again, her eyes filled with something like hope and longing and disbelief. “Are you sure?”

“Kairi, you have my heart. My body is yours to do with what you please. And I wouldn’t trust anyone else with my soul. So please… please give me this one thing. Let me wake up with you in my arms. Not just tomorrow, not just the day after. For the rest of our lives.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “Sora—”

She brought her lips to his and kissed him deeply, passionately. 

He had his answer.

As he brought her into his room and into his bed and into his arms, for once, everything felt right in the World. Kairi was his and he was hers. She was in his bed, sleeping beside him like she should be. Like she should’ve been all along. And he was holding her the way he’d longed to. The way he’d dreamed of.

They’d hit a lot of bumps along the way to get to this point, but the rest they could figure out so long as they did it together. 

And with that hope, Sora gave her one last goodnight kiss before letting himself slip away to join her in the realm of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi teases Sora and then has sex with him on his throne.
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you've had a good week. I figured I couldn't write this Royalty AU without having at least one sex scene involving Sora's throne. And of course the end of the chapter is a point I've been looking forward to sharing with you for a long time (and I imagine you've been looking forward to it, too!). Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll see you next week!


	33. The Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

Waking up next to Sora in his bed was better than Kairi could have imagined. His arms were still around her, and she felt safe and protected in his embrace. The feeling of his warmth and bare skin against hers was amazing, too. And best of all was the perfect little expression of contentment and peace resting on his face, like all was right in the World because she was in his arms. 

“Good morning, husband,” she murmured, her hand brushing his hair out of the way as she peppered his forehead and cheek and jaw with soft kisses.

His eyes fluttered open and he gave her a sleepy smile. “Good morning, wife.”

Kairi froze. His eyes were still completely blue. Not a trace of gold or even green in sight. 

“What?” he asked, tilting his head with an adorable confused look in his eyes. His voice was lower than normal, belying how cute his appearance was right now. 

She just smiled. His eyes had turned blue when they’d made love last night, but to see them stay blue for so long afterwards… that was a first. 

“Has anyone ever told you how cute you look first thing in the morning?” she asked, giving him a quick peck on the lips that got a surprised noise out of him before he recovered and kissed her back, slowly, deeply. 

“It really isn’t fair,” she said afterwards, breathless. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

His eyes softened. “Not any longer. From now on, you’ll be sleeping in my bed, in my arms.” 

“Good. I could get used to this.”

“I hope you do.” He brought her close to him and sighed. “Kairi, thank you. Thank you for staying with me.”

She found his hand and wove their fingers together. “Was it everything you dreamed of?”

“And then some. I’m tempted to cancel all our meetings today just so I can hold you in my arms a little longer.”

“Do it, then. Spend some time with your wife.”

“My wife,” he said, his voice full of wonder. “We’ve been married for almost a year now, Kairi, but…”

“It finally feels like we’re _ married_, doesn’t it?” 

He nodded. “Yeah.”

She just looked into his bliss-filled eyes and sighed. Then he shifted his position, and she couldn’t help but giggle. 

“Last night wasn’t enough for you, was it?” she said, grinning at his flustered reaction. “And after I tried my best, too. What a shame. Guess I’ll have to up my game.”

“N-no, it was wonderful! Kairi, that was our best time yet. I couldn’t have asked for more.”

“Agreed. But you still want more, don’t you,” she said, brushing her fingers across his stomach.

He swallowed, and his chest expanded and contracted, expanded and contracted. “Yes.”

“How much more?” she murmured, her fingers moving lower and lower.

“Everything you’re willing to give,” he said, his eyes following her every movement.

“My heart, my soul, my body. It all belongs to you, Sora. I’m yours.”

Before she could get to what she had planned, though, he brought her back up into his arms and kissed her. 

“You’re too wholesome for your own good, you know,” she said afterwards with a grin. “You just missed out on morning head.”

“But I got another morning kiss instead,” he said with a twinkle in his eye. “Besides, I want to take a shower first before you go down on me. I’m still… from last night… I never really… er, cleaned up…”

She raised an eyebrow. “You think I did?”

He grinned and kissed her nose. “Just gimme a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

She grinned and watched him as he climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Ugh, he was so hot. Looking at him was like looking at a Greek god or something. And yes, she had met some Greek gods, so she knew what she was talking about. 

“You have a cute butt!” she called as she chucked one of the pillows at him, which got him to look over his shoulder and give her a wink.

She just giggled as he closed the door, then flopped against the bed and sighed. She was the luckiest woman in the World. 

His sheets felt so nice, probably because they were silk. She’d had hers changed as soon as possible to something simpler, not really wanting to indulge in the luxury he’d offered back in those early days because she was being petty, but this… this felt good. 

Maybe a little luxury wasn’t so bad, here and there.

She rolled over onto her side and took a deep breath. His bed smelled so good, just like him. She could drink in his scent forever. 

Stealing a quick look at the bathroom, she sat up. If he was going to look the part, she should, too. 

His shirt from last night was draped over his desk chair, and she stumbled to her feet to get it. Oooph, her legs were still a little stiff from sitting on his lap. Totally worth it though. 

She slipped his shirt on and buttoned it up, then glanced in his mirror. The edge of the shirt juuuust barely covered her butt in the back. She grinned and brushed her hair behind her shoulder. The shirt was the perfect length to tease him.

She had another idea for teasing him, too. She undid the first few buttons to give him a nice look at her cleavage and her necklace resting between it. That sort of view drove him crazy in the best way.

“There,” she said, giving herself a satisfied nod. She was ready to—

She froze. Was that… 

Her hand shot out without even thinking about it, and her fingers wrapped around the item and grabbed it off of his cluttered dresser. Sure enough, it was what she suspected. It was her lucky charm.

He still had it, after all these years. And her handiwork proved true; it was still in one piece.

She stroked the shell that had his face on it, and—

There was a flash of bright light, so bright she had to shield her eyes with her free hand. When she could see again, a shimmering portal had appeared before her. Glancing inside, she could make out a room of dimly lit stone. 

A secret room? She frowned and clutched the lucky charm tighter, glancing back towards the bathroom. The sink started running, and she could hear Sora singing to himself over the sound of the water. Well, if he wasn’t even in the shower yet…

There was a faint whooshing noise as she stepped inside the portal. The room was one she hadn’t seen before. Underground, probably, because there were no windows, and the air felt thick and heavy, the stonework damp as she touched it. 

There was a doorway up ahead. She padded towards it, the floor cold beneath her toes. The chilly air wasn’t nice on her bare legs, either. The doorway was locked when she reached it, but once she held the lucky charm up to it, it faded away before her very eyes.

What she saw made her gasp and nearly drop the lucky charm. Floating above a dais was the black box, still tightly sealed and locked. A faint glow radiated off it, and she walked towards it as if in a trance. A voice called out to her, whispering from within the box, calling her name, calling for her.

Her feet took her up the steps to it. Closer, closer, closer to the voice, just a little closer and the black box would be within her grasp. She would be able to find out what had happened to Sora at long last.

For it was his voice that called out to her from within the box, his voice begging her for help. Whatever had happened that awful day, she could put it to rights now. A part of him was sealed inside this box, it had to be, and she wanted to return that part to him. Wanted to free him. Wanted him to be whole again.

Clutching the lucky charm in one hand, she summoned her Keyblade with the other and pointed it at the locks. A beam of light shot out of her Keyblade and split into smaller beams that targeted each of them. They clattered to the ground, and all that was left was the final seal, glowing with golden light. Taking a deep breath, she lifted the lucky charm towards the seal.

Right before her fingers connected with the seal, though, she hesitated. Something about this didn’t feel right. The fact that this place was hidden. The unease bubbling up in her stomach. The sense of darkness hanging heavy over everything. Was this a trap? She frowned as she searched for anything that might clue her in. But there were a lot of gaps about this strange box in her memory, and her head was starting to hurt.

And yet… standing here beside it… flashes of bright light… the box creaking open… a strange tugging at her heart… she had to… 

“Kairi, please…” Sora’s voice begged, and he sounded so heartbroken and distraught that something inside of her came undone. Maybe this was a trap, but it didn’t matter. She had to help Sora. She had to.

“I’m here. Everything’s going to be okay,” she said as she connected the lucky charm with the seal. The black box creaked open at long last, and her eyes went wide as she looked inside. Light shone within the box, the light of the World’s hope. And that light was in the shape of a man, a man that was very near and dear to her heart.

It was Sora. He was the hope of the World, and it was his light that had been locked away inside this box. And the darkness that had once been inside the box—

Kairi gasped. “I remember now. Oh God, I remember now.” Both the lucky charm and her Keyblade slipped out of her grasp and clattered down the steps. Her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground, clutching her aching head as tears welled up in her eyes. “So this was why you wouldn’t let me see. It should have been me. It should have been me all along.”

Her tears dripped onto the cold stone floor, one by one. The tugging on her heart was getting stronger, and it hurt. It hurt, but she couldn’t stop it.

“It’s… still supposed to be me, isn’t it?” she choked out.

It all made sense now. The box wanted her light. It was purer than Sora’s. She was supposed to be the World’s hope. His light was just a temporary substitute, a placeholder. It had satisfied the box until hers was available again. The box released his light now, and it went flying out the door to return to its rightful place in his heart.

She gasped as invisible fingers wrapped their way around her heart and pulled. Her hands flew to her chest as her light slipped through her fingers, but there was nothing she could do.

Maybe it was for the best. This was how it was supposed to be, after all. She had been planning on sacrificing herself before anyway to defeat the great evil. The only reason she didn’t was because Sora had intervened.

Sora.

“Kairi!” His heartbroken wail echoed through this place, making her blood run cold as the light left her body. She spared a glance backwards as a final tear dripped down her face.

“Sora, I’m sorry…” 

He was truly radiant with his light back. Glowing with power, his heart fully restored, his eyes their rightful blue. All the light that had been taken from him returned and added to all the light he’d grown inside his heart during their wonderful time together. 

He was a true king at long last. No, not just a king. Ruler of all the worlds, reborn as something far greater than human. He would be able to do anything he desired. Nothing and nobody would be able to stop him, and she couldn’t think of anyone more deserving of such power. He would use it to bring joy, to heal worlds, to right wrongs. He had his entire life ahead of him. Kairi could only imagine all the good he could still do for so many people.

Her only regret was that she wouldn’t get to be there with him for any of it. She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. She wasn’t ready to leave him behind. She wanted to share her life with him, create a family with him, grow old with him.

But at least while it lasted, it had been truly wonderful. 

* * *

It was over now. The box was resealed. Kairi’s light was gone. Sora cradled her limp body in his arms and wept. Her skin, so full of warmth before, was now cold as ice. The necklace that was supposed to protect her hung uselessly from her neck. Her eyes were closed, and dark shadows lingered under them. She was wearing one of his shirts, and as he imagined the playful look in her eyes whenever she teased him, fresh tears welled up in his.

He was never going to see that look again. He wasn’t going to hear her voice again, either. Her smile was gone forever, and so was her sweet laughter. 

Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and his own tears dropped onto her face and mingled with them. 

“Why? Why does it always have to end like this?” he cried, begging someone, anyone, to answer him.

But there was no answer. He was alone in this prison he’d never meant for her to find. It was supposed to keep the black box away from her. Supposed to keep her safe. So of course the moment he’d let his guard down, she’d stumbled her way in here and had done the one thing he’d never wanted her to do. 

“This is all my fault,” he choked out between sobs. “I was supposed to keep you safe. You trusted me, and I couldn’t protect you.”

So much for the knight protecting the princess. In the end she had died because nothing had changed. He was still the weak boy who couldn’t keep her safe. 

He cradled her in his arms and rocked back and forth, his empty sobs the only sound in this place. How was he supposed to live without her? He had to once, for a few awful hours, and he never wanted to go through that again. Even getting his heart ripped in half once more would be less painful than losing his beloved. 

“Heart of my heart, flesh of my flesh…” he sobbed. 

A fresh wave of tears hit him as he remembered her promise to never leave him. As he remembered all the times he’d promised he wouldn’t abandon her. They’d been naive. They’d both been hopelessly naive. Fate had screwed them over time and again, and this time was no different. He’d been wrong to give her hope when there wasn’t any.

Or was there?

He looked at the ring on her limp finger. She was still wearing it. Still wearing the sign of their vow. And so was he.

“I promise to love and cherish you, even unto death.” He sniffed and wiped his eyes. “Kairi, I love you. Your light may be gone…”

He couldn’t bring himself to say the word dead. He couldn’t. She wasn’t dead. Just asleep. 

“…but I’m still alive, and that means I can uphold our vows.”

He brushed a few strands of hair out of her face. His heart was full of light. He could feel it pulsing through him, giving him power. He was still king of this realm, too. 

Kairi was asleep because all the light had been torn from her heart. He had managed to survive such an ordeal because his heart had its own darkness, plus the darkness from the black box. It had kept him alive even though it had brought him pain. But Kairi’s heart was made of pure light. Without it, she couldn’t survive. 

Her light was gone now. Locked inside the box. And the box wouldn’t ever let it go. It had its prized light, the light of the seventh Princess of Heart, and nothing could ever substitute for it. 

But maybe she didn’t need her own light to live. Maybe, if the light of another was freely given to her, she would awaken. Maybe that light could heal her and sustain her. It would be given out of love, after all, poured out from the heart of a man who loved her more than his own life.

“Beloved,” he said softly as he repositioned her in his arms. He wove one hand into her hair and cupped her face with the other. Soon her cheeks would have color again. Soon her mouth would draw breath again. Soon her eyes would open again. Soon her heart would beat again. 

And so long as she woke up, he could handle whatever might happen to him. His heart beat steadily, evenly, and he brought her limp hand to his chest to show her. 

“I’m ready, see? So don’t worry about me. I guess the first and second times weren’t enough to get you back for good, but this time will be different, I’ll prove it. Third time’s the charm, right?”

He leaned close, like this wasn’t any different from all the other times he was about to kiss her. Remembered all those wonderful times when she had kissed him, too. He rested his forehead against hers and took a few moments to gather the light in his heart. 

“Kairi, you’re my light in the darkness, my beloved princess, my dear wife and partner and friend. Without you, I…” He shut his eyes for a few seconds, squeezed the final tears out. When he opened them again, he wiped his face and cupped her cheek. “But I don’t want to live without you. I promised to love and cherish you, and I meant it. All I ask in return is that you live.” 

He smiled and placed his lips against hers, soft against stiff, warm against cold, living against dead, and kissed her lovingly, tenderly. The light poured out of him and into her with each breath from his lungs, with each beat of his heart. He could sense it filling her up, filling her heart with the life-giving substance.

And still he poured his light into her. Her heart was thirsty for it, desperate for it, wanting to drink up every drop he had to offer. And he was willing to give her everything, wanted her to understand how deeply he loved her. He hardly noticed the growing emptiness inside of him or the darkness that moved to take its place. 

Kairi would live again, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi opens the box and has the light drained from her, leading to her falling into a deep sleep bordering on death. Sora finds her and grieves before taking action. 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you're hanging in there okay. This chapter was a big one in terms of revealing part of what's been hinted at since the beginning of the story. More will be further explained in the following chapters as well. The scene at the end of the chapter in particular was inspired by a famous sculpture about Cupid and Psyche, Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss. See you next week!


	34. Torn Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

Riku took one look at the scene in front of him before shaking his head and groaning. 

“Really, you two? Couldn’t even clean up the mess you made?”

Just like he’d feared, Sora had asked him to keep everyone out of here last night because… bleh. He didn’t want to think about what Sora and Kairi had no doubt been doing on… her throne? His throne? Both?

Ugh, why were they like this? Riku had no doubt Kairi had been the instigator, but Sora had obviously gone along with her plans. That much was clear. His clothes were strewn all over the floor around their thrones, same as hers. Who knew they could both be so shameless? 

Still, the happiness and excitement in Sora’s eyes last night… the giddy, lovesick expression he wore basically all the time now… that was a lot better than how miserable he’d been after he’d first become king. And Kairi was happier than she’d been in years. For their sakes, Riku supposed he could put up with all this nonsense.

He muttered more to himself as he walked to the throne. Best if he cleaned this up before someone else found it and started spreading more rumors. Kairi’s op-ed piece had caused enough rumors about her sexcapades with Sora to make Riku want to bleach his brain. 

Worst of all was that he knew most of them were true. 

As he gulped and fished Sora’s crown off the ground (the crown seemed like a safer option than Kairi’s bra), a voice from behind him said, “Here, let me help.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Aqua.”

“Alma,” she corrected, a twinkle in her eyes as she mercifully picked up the articles of clothing he didn’t want to touch with a ten foot pole.

“C’mon, Aqua, it’s just the two of us right now,” he said as he fished Kairi’s crown out from behind Sora’s throne. “No one else is gonna hear us.”

“But they could,  _ Octavius. _ We have to keep our guards up.”

“A little late for that,” he muttered. “I think Sora already suspects it’s me.”

She laughed lightly. “That’s because you hardly even try to disguise yourself! You talk like you, you act like you. Mickey isn’t much better either, truth be told. It’s a wonder neither of you have blown our cover yet.”

“Mickey’s a bad liar, you can’t fault him for that. And really, what did you expect when you gave him the doctor role?”

She shrugged, her lips twitching in a smile. “He has the medical training to be a doctor, it seemed like a good fit. What’s your excuse?”

“Laziness. Besides, even with the disguises your magic has cooked up for us… we can’t fool them forever. You’re disguising our hearts and appearances right now, sure, but they’ll figure out it’s us in the end.”

“And that’s okay. We don’t need to be disguised forever,” Aqua said as she carefully folded the clothes into a neat pile. “Just long enough to allow Ven and Naminé and the others to create a path here.”

“Which they already have,” Riku pointed out. The path was ready, all they were waiting on was Sora. 

“True. I suppose our disguises aren’t really necessary anymore, especially now that Sora’s doing better. I don’t think he’d kick us out for trying to help anymore.”

“Good, because if Sora grills me one more time about whether we’ve met before, I’m gonna scream.”

Aqua held out her hands, and Riku handed her their crowns. She added them to the pile in her lap and sighed.

“He’s doing so much better. Watching the light return to his eyes… it’s been hard for me not to say anything. Especially to Kairi! You don’t know how many times I’ve had to bite my tongue. She probably suspects it’s me as it is.” She smiled as her fingers brushed over Kairi’s crown. “Riku, she’s in love with him again. I know all their carrying on grosses you out, but it’s a good sign, trust me.”

“I know, I know, it’s just weird because I’ve known them our whole lives practically. I really am happy for them, as much as I like to complain about all the weird stuff they get up to.” 

It wasn’t like he didn’t know what being in love was like. He was just a lot more subdued about it. He kept private things private, which was how it should be. 

“How much longer do you think?” he asked. “Until Sora’s heart is fully healed and he and Kairi can come home.”

“Not much longer,” Aqua replied. “In fact—”

Aqua was cut off by a scream that made Riku’s blood run cold. A wail of grief so awful that he knew the heart that had made it must be in horrible pain. And worse yet, he recognized the voice.

It was Sora’s.

He exchanged a horrified look with Aqua before the two of them sprang to their feet and took off. 

“You search Sora’s room, I’ll search Kairi’s!” she shouted as they crashed into the double doors. He raced as fast as he could to Sora’s room, but it still took way too long to get there. When he finally did, the damn door was locked. He swore as he summoned his Keyblade and unlocked it, then forced his way inside. 

There was a portal to what must be another part of the castle shimmering in the air. The stone walls were different from the ones in Sora’s room, a part of a passageway or something. He stumbled through it, panting for breath as he called Sora’s name. He sensed a great darkness, and—

He skittered to a halt. He was in a big round room with a dais in the middle of it now. The black box was located smack dab in the middle of the dais, and sitting on the stairs, holding an unconscious Kairi in his arms with his head hovering near her heart, was a very monstrous-looking Sora. Black smoke was wafting off of him, the roots of his hair were silver, and darkness was cloaking his skin. 

What the hell had happened? 

“Sora?” Riku asked, and Sora looked up. His eyes were golden, and he clutched Kairi tighter as Riku took a step closer.

“Sora, it’s just me, er, Octavius. What’s going on?”

“No,” Sora said, and his voice sounded different. Lower. More animalistic. “You’re Riku. You’ve been Riku this whole time.”

So Sora did know. No point in arguing with him about it, then. He sighed and dropped the disguise. 

“Yeah, but we can talk about that later. Right now, I need to ask you something: is Kairi okay?”

The fact that she was unconscious was concerning, to say the least.

“She’ll be fine,” Sora said, but Riku wasn’t convinced. He took another step closer, and Sora growled, his grip around her tightening. “You stay away from her,” he snapped, in a way that was very uncharacteristic of how he normally spoke.

“Woah, woah, calm down, I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“I told you, she’ll be fine.”

Riku swallowed. Sora was protective of Kairi normally, sure, but this was something else. It was like the darkness was amplifying all of his impulses, both good and bad.

“Her heart’s still recovering,” Sora explained. “She’ll wake up soon.”

“Recovering from what?”

Sora didn’t answer. He leaned down to listen to her heartbeat instead, his expression softening as he did. 

“Her heart sounds so beautiful,” he said with a sigh, and something about the way he said it was horribly unsettling. There was a hunger in his eyes that made Riku’s heart fill with dread.

This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. In Sora’s current state, all it would take was one slip of his control for a horrible accident to happen. And as volatile as he was right now… 

Riku did his best to shut images of a Kairi scarred with darkness and a Sora heartbroken with grief over hurting her out of his mind. Because that was where this was going to end if he didn’t act, and soon.

“Sora, I’m going to have to ask you to set her down,” he said as calmly as he could.

“Why?” Sora asked, his eyes narrowing.

Wording. Wording was everything.

“Because I think we both just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Why wouldn’t she be?” Sora said with a frown. He looked at her serene face with a tender look in his golden eyes, and the darkness eased a little. “I’m keeping her safe, just like I promised.”

“You are. And you’re doing a great job. I just want to make sure you’re okay too.”

Sora looked at him again, his eyes cold. “What, you think something’s wrong with me?”

Well… yeah. But Riku couldn’t really say that. 

“No. I just know you must be, um, stressed.”

“You’re really bad at lying. You do think something’s wrong with me. I can see it in your eyes. You think I’m gonna hurt her.”

Great. Sora was getting more and more agitated the more he spoke. So much for diplomacy.

“Fine, yes, I do. Sora, look at yourself. I don’t know what the hell happened, but you need to calm down, or she  _ is _ going to get hurt.”

Instead of making Sora angry, Riku’s words had a different effect. Sora’s eyes went wide as he looked at Kairi again, sleeping serenely in his arms. A soft light glowed off of her, like a protective shell from Sora’s darkness. Sora looked at the darkness covering him with horror and disgust, and he started shaking.

“Sora?”

Sora didn’t answer; he was in his own world, lost in his own pain. His breathing grew ragged, and a guttural wail emanated from deep within him. It tore through the room and echoed off the walls, giving voice to whatever it was that was grieving his heart. The sound made Riku’s blood run cold, and whatever it was that was making Sora suffer, he wanted to put an end to it.

“I’ll never get to be with her, will I?” Sora choked out. “That’s the price I have to pay to keep her safe. There for a few moments, I actually thought we could be together again, but—” He lowered his head. “She was right. She was right all along. We’ll never get to be together. I can’t keep my promise. I’ll have to break it to keep my vow. But if it means she’ll be safe, then—” 

“What do you mean, you’ll have to break your promise to keep your vow?”

Sora lifted his eyes, and they were filled with tears. “Don’t you get it, Riku? I’m not the knight. I’m not even the king. I’m the monster.”

His voice broke on the last word, and Riku hated how hopeless he sounded. 

“What do you mean, you’re the monster?”

Oh. The story of the knight and the princess. Sora really thought he was the monster now?

“Sora, that’s not true, you’re still you—”

Sora shook his head, and Riku watched as he gently set Kairi down and stood. The darkness was shrouding him, and he met Riku’s eyes again. 

“Take her away from me before I can hurt her. That’s what you’re here for, isn’t it?”

Riku was torn between wanting to protect Kairi and wanting to help Sora. No matter what he chose, someone was gonna get hurt. His eyes traveled between the two of them. Kairi, lying unconscious on the cold stone floor, wearing nothing but one of Sora’s shirts, and Sora, teetering on the edge of a breakdown, wearing nothing but the darkness. Seriously, what the hell had happened? Why had Sora cried out before?

He held his hand out to his friend. “Sora—”

“Take her and go!” Sora commanded, making his decision for him.

Riku scooped Kairi up in his arms, cradling her as gently as possible. She stirred a little, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Her eyes fluttered open, and her fingers went to her lips.

“Riku?” she asked, sounding a little confused and dazed and scared.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

She relaxed, her lips curving into a slight smile. “I knew it was you.” 

Riku sensed the darkness in the room spiking again, and he stole a glance at Sora. Great. Even though Sora had told Riku to do this, it still hit him how bad this must look right now. He was holding his best friend’s wife in his arms, and she was barely dressed. Sora’s shirt left little to the imagination, the way it was partially unbuttoned and didn’t really cover her legs. Not really a view he should be seeing, and absolutely not when holding her like this. She had woken up to his face instead of Sora’s, too.

This was very, very bad.

“Looks like the prince won after all,” Sora choked out, the darkness wafting off of him. The look of betrayal on his face hit Riku hard. Under normal circumstances, Sora would know better, but the darkness was preying on his deepest fears and insecurities right now. Trying to reason with him wasn’t gonna work. 

Kairi’s eyes went wide. “Sora?” she asked. “Where are you?” She searched for him, and when she found him, her eyes went wide and she clasped a hand over her mouth. “Oh no—”

Just then, Aqua burst into the room with Mickey beside her. Still in their disguises, of course, but they, too, looked horrified at the scene unfolding before them.

“Aqua and the King, I’m guessing?” Sora said, his eyes cold, and they dropped the disguises. “Just like I thought. You’re here to help Riku rescue Kairi from the monster.”

“Sora, no!” Kairi cried. “I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to help you—”

But Riku couldn’t watch her get hurt trying to help him. It wasn’t what Sora wanted either. So he readjusted his grip and stood.

“Mickey, open the portal to the Realm of Light,” he said softly.

Mickey nodded and left the room, and Kairi looked horrified as she saw the grim expression on Riku’s face. She kicked and thrashed against him, and he did his best to hold tight to her. 

“No, I won’t!” she cried. “I won’t go! I won’t abandon him!” 

“You should,” Sora said, his voice resigned. “It’s what’s best for you. Go ahead and leave me.” 

He turned away from them, like he couldn’t bear to watch any longer, and Kairi really started struggling. She kicked and twisted and smacked Riku, putting up a pretty good fight despite her size.

“Let me go, Riku, please, let me go!”

“Kairi, I can’t—”

She bit his arm, and he hissed from the pain and nearly dropped her.

“He needs me, please, don’t take me away from him—”

Aqua looked like she was about to start crying, but she held her Keyblade up and aimed a sleep spell at Kairi all the same.

“No…” Kairi whimpered as the magic hit her and overpowered her. “Sora…” 

She went limp, and her eyes fluttered shut. As they did, tears welled out of her eyes and dripped down her face, and Riku really hated himself right now.

Mickey's portal back to the Realm of Light must be ready by now. How Riku wished Sora would be going with them too. He cast one last glance back at his friend, only to see him slumped on the ground. Sora looked up one last time, and his face was streaked with tears. 

“Take care of her,” he choked out, and somehow that was more painful than all the other things that had happened today.

Riku nodded and left the room with Aqua following close behind. The last thing he saw before he did was Sora’s heartbroken face as he called out to Kairi, and he couldn't erase the image from his mind as he and Aqua went through the portal after Mickey. It was in a side hallway near Sora's room, and he hated going through it without Sora here with them. 

He had never wanted to wrench his friends apart like this. Especially not after watching over them for the past year. Seeing the light return to Sora’s eyes, watching his heart heal, knowing Kairi was his delight and the love of his life, only to rip them apart… 

But what choice did he have? Sora would never forgive himself if he hurt Kairi, and he had even told Riku to take her away. So for now Riku would split them apart and wish with all his heart that they would be together again soon.

* * *

Sora wiped his eyes and blinked. How long had he been lying here, slumped against the wall? He was cold and numb all over, the only sensation in his body the weight coming from the lucky charm clutched in his stiff fingers. At some point the darkness cloaking him had disappeared, his body left as vulnerable as his heart was right now.

He looked at himself. It was hard to believe that not even a day ago he and Kairi had been—

Fresh tears stung at his eyes. He couldn’t picture her face, couldn’t imagine her voice, without it tearing something open inside of him again. Even just thinking about her smiling at him as she wore his crown was torture. 

And her scent. It was still here. It lingered on his body because she lingered on his body. He had to get rid of it. Had to make it go away. He staggered to his feet, his legs robotically following orders and taking him out of here and back into his room, the portal to the secret passageway and chamber closing behind him.

Mickey was gone. Riku and Aqua were gone too. So was Kairi. He was all alone.

Of course. That was how it always went. The knight had nothing to show for his sacrifice. He always gave everything for the princess, only to lose her in the end. 

He almost wished he was still the king. The king got to be with the princess. The king got his happily ever after. Irony of ironies that once Sora had accepted that he was still the knight, that once Kairi had started calling him her knight, he’d lost her the very next day. 

He returned the lucky charm to where she had taken it from and stumbled into the bathroom. That was when cold, stark reality hit him again. The reflection in the mirror was not Sora. Sora had brown hair and blue eyes. Sora was always smiling and happy. Whoever this person was had golden eyes and hair with silver roots. Dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes that were puffy from crying.

It was like he’d told Riku. He wasn’t the knight anymore, he was the monster. 

And the monster had a black mark on its chest, resting over its heart. A small, ugly thing with tendrils that reached into the surrounding skin. 

“What’s happening to me?” he asked the sad creature in the mirror. But it had no answer for him, so he abandoned it and sought refuge in the shower. The hot water poured down on him and rinsed Kairi away. But the memories wouldn’t leave. They were still there, haunting him, tormenting him. He scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed, but they wouldn’t go away. Why wouldn’t they go away?

Kairi’s smile. Her laughter. The playful, teasing look she got in her eyes when she was messing with him. All the times she’d said his name the way only she could. How it felt to give himself to her, heart, body, and soul. The way she’d looked at him when she’d called him her beloved knight.

All of that was over now. He’d been foolish to hope it would last. Fate had never been kind to him before, so why did he think this time would be any different?

He slumped against the wall again and wept as the water poured down on him. Hadn’t his heart been broken enough already? How was there still anything left to break?

It was all for nothing. Years and years spent loving her for this. He cursed fate, cursed it for giving him hope. Cursed its cruelty for toying with him so relentlessly. But most of all, he cursed himself and his miserable existence. He couldn’t blame Riku and Aqua and Mickey for taking Kairi away from him. He was a monster pretending to be a knight. Pretending to be a prince. Pretending to be a king. They were right to take her away from him.

When he climbed out of the shower and looked in the mirror again, the creature looked even more pathetic than before. Dripping wet, dripping water, dripping blood.

He lifted his bloody fingertips and examined them. There were scratches all over his body, too. Skin rubbed raw from trying to claw Kairi out of him, out of his heart, out of his body, out of his soul. Any reminder of her loss was just too painful to bear right now.

But she wouldn’t leave. She’d established herself and taken root. He’d have to tear the rest of his heart out to have a shot at getting rid of her too. She was here with him, even in the darkness. Even with his light gone she still meant everything to him. Even now, in this sorry state, he still loved her. 

When he went to his closet to find something to wear, her sweatpants were there to greet him. When he’d thrown those to the ground, her scent lingered on his bed, on the sheets. He tore those off and threw them into a heap in the corner to join the sweatpants.

When he caught sight of her lucky charm again, the room spun around him, and he slumped to the ground. A harsh, guttural sound rumbled deep within him till it was wrenched out of his throat. His heart felt like it was being torn in two, and every reminder of her just made the pain that much worse. 

“Please… make it stop… I can’t take this anymore…”

As he stared at himself in the mirror, cold, naked, alone, darkness started flickering around him. He didn’t have the desire or energy to fight it anymore. What was even the point. Maybe… maybe giving in would hurt less. There was no reward in suffering. There never had been. His sacrifices always ended the same way. He was fated to be alone. Always had been, always would be. 

No, that wasn’t fully true. The darkness was still here. It was still with him. It was his constant companion, his loyal friend. 

And as he felt himself slip from consciousness, its cold embrace almost felt comforting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Riku takes Kairi away from Sora because he and Sora are both worried Sora will hurt her in this new form. Sora grieves and hurts himself afterwards (scratching himself till he bleeds). 
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you're hanging in there okay. This chapter was another big one in terms of revealing part of what's been hinted at since the beginning of the story with Riku, Aqua, and Mickey's involvement. Some of you have already figured that out, which has been fun talking to you all about, and now I was able to reveal it in-story, too. More will be further explained in the following chapters about all these reveals happening lately. 
> 
> Speaking of the upcoming chapters, they're the darkest parts of the story, and one chapter in particular is part of the reason this story has an Explicit rating (besides all the sex scenes). It features a character having a nightmare that preys on the character's deepest fears. It is hands down the most violent chapter in the story, and I wanted to warn you ahead of time. As always, I will give specific content warnings in the end notes of that chapter. 
> 
> I know the past couple of chapters have been rough, and the next group of chapters will be rough too, but the current angst is going somewhere and serves a purpose to the overall story. It isn't how the story will end, either. Hang in there, and I'll see you next week!


	35. Waking Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

It was over. It was finally over. The Master of Masters was defeated, and Kairi and Sora remained standing in this empty void together. The only sound now was their breathing, loud and clear after such a hard fight. 

The black box was a little ways away from them, containing all the evil and darkness the Master of Masters had unleashed on the worlds. It was back where it was supposed to be, back in the box it had come from.

“We should seal it now,” Kairi said, her voice stiff and professional. It was still so awkward being around Sora. Now that their lives were no longer in danger, now that the worlds would be safe… their mess of a relationship was staring her in the face when all she wanted was to go home and leave the past behind her.

“But Kairi—”

She lifted her Keyblade in the air and pointed it at the box. Light shot out from it, but the box refused to budge. Refused to close. 

“Huh, that’s weird. Why won’t it shut?” she said, ignoring the roiling in her stomach.

“Do you think what the Master of Masters said is true?” Sora asked. “That only the purest light will shut it?”

Kairi shrugged and avoided his eyes. “I don’t know, but we can’t just leave it open like this.” She started pacing back and forth. “The darkness is back where it should be, and yet the box won’t close, even though I tried to seal it.”

Was her light not good enough? Sora watched as she scoured her brain for everything she knew about the black box. When opened, it was supposed to unleash devastation on the worlds, which it had. They’d spent the last several years of their lives dealing with the aftermath and putting a stop to the damage. Ironic that healing the worlds had ruined their relationship and driven them apart. 

But darkness wasn’t all that was in the box. There was supposed to be something else, something that came out at the very end. The Master of Masters called it the purest light, but the legends called it… 

“Hope,” she blurted out. “We need hope to close the box.”

“Hope?” Sora said, a frown on his face. “Where are we supposed to get hope from?”

Kairi started her pacing again. Hope. Hope was a good thing, a pure thing. It kept people from giving into despair, even in the depths of the darkness.

Light. They needed light, just like the Master of Masters had said. And what better source of light than a Princess of Heart? Her light was completely pure, untainted by the darkness, having never come into contact with it within her heart. 

But then why had her attempts to seal the box failed? Was it because… 

Oh. Sealing the box would require a lot more than just her Keyblade. She could see that now. A sacrifice would be required; a choice had to be made. 

She glanced at Sora, and he had his arms crossed the way he always did when he was lost deep in thought. She couldn’t tell him the plan that was forming in her head. She couldn’t. He would try to stop her, and she couldn’t let him. So long as the black box stayed open, the worlds would be at risk. And she knew he would never approve of her plan. 

Which would she choose: her safety, or everyone else’s? The answer was simple to her, obvious. But Sora was blinded by his feelings, and his heart would get in the way of doing what was right. 

So she wouldn’t leave the choice up to him. She would make it herself. 

What would happen to a heart of pure light once all the light was gone? Would she… would she die?

Well, it didn’t matter. She had to do this. She had to try.

She took a deep breath and pointed her Keyblade at her heart. It would be simple enough to unlock the light within. She only hoped she was right about her light being good enough. 

“What are you doing?” Sora asked. 

“What has to be done,” she said as she unlocked her own heart. “I’m what the box wants. My light can seal it.”

Sora’s eyes went wide as he figured out her plan. “Kairi, no!” he cried. He grabbed her hand and pointed her Keyblade at his heart instead. His light started streaming out of him and into the box, and he winced.

“Sora, stop!” She tried to wrench herself free, but he refused to let go. No no no, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go—

He let out a gasp as more of his light was wrenched out of him, then let go of her Keyblade and crumpled to his knees.

“Sora!”

She knelt beside him. His skin was ashen and his arm was shaking, but he summoned his Keyblade. With part of his light missing, it was all broken and fractured, and her hand flew to her mouth as she choked back a cry.

He pointed his Keyblade at the box and forced it to stay open, gritting his teeth with the exertion. “No. No more darkness sealed inside for some unlucky person to find. No more weapon for another Master of Masters to use to hurt people.”

He looked at Kairi and smiled. “I’m putting an end to this, right here, right now. I’m breaking the cycle that has brought our friends so much suffering. My light may not be as strong or as pure as yours, but I can’t… I can’t let you sacrifice yourself.” He lifted his hand to her face and cupped her cheek. “Kairi, I know things have changed between us. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me. But know this: I still love you. I will always love you. Thank you, for everything.”

She summoned her Keyblade again to stop him, but he pointed his Keyblade at her and sent her hurtling backwards with a blast of air. 

“Sora, no—”

He pointed his Keyblade at the black box again. “Darkness, enter me. Make me your new vessel.”

She watched, horrified, as the darkness from the box forced its way inside of him and filled all the empty places the light had left behind. Wrenched the last of the light out of him to make room for itself. His face contorted in pain and his cry of anguish was muffled as it crammed itself down his throat, and still it kept pouring into him.

“No!”

She lifted her Keyblade and pointed it at the box. She would shut the awful thing if it killed her.

It creaked loudly, and she gritted her teeth and focused all of her energy on closing it. She didn’t notice Sora hurtling himself at her until it was too late, and then it all went black.

* * *

Kairi’s eyes fluttered open. Her head ached, and her face was streaked with dried tears. The light pouring through the window was too bright, it was way too bright. Her purple comforter was tucked around her—

Her purple comforter. Her purple comforter. Her comforter wasn’t purple, it was blue. Which meant… 

She wasn’t in her room in the castle, she was back home on Destiny Islands. There was her desk in one corner, piled high with her old letters and stationary, and her dresser next to it. 

“Where is he?” she croaked, and her voice sounded awful. “Where’s Sora?”

She remembered now. She remembered what Sora had wanted her to forget. He had sacrificed himself for her yet again. She was the reason his heart was torn up in the first place. And she’d been so cruel to him in those early days. She’d treated him like he was a monster when really, his sorry condition was the result of yet another act of sacrifice, and all for her sake, too. He had offered up his own heart to save her, both when the box was sealed and when she’d foolishly reopened it, and this was how she had repaid him. With abandonment and broken promises. 

She had to help him. All the light in his heart was gone because it was inside of her instead. And without it, he would—

Rolling over, her eyes landed on her friends gathered around the bed. Riku was sitting on a chair, with Aqua and Mickey beside him. His shoulders were slumped and the look in his eyes told her everything she didn’t want to know. 

“Riku, where is he?” 

“Kairi,” Aqua said softly, her eyes filled with sorrow, “you know he’s not here. His darkness was out of control, and there was a serious risk he would hurt you. He knew that, and he asked Riku to take you away. Don’t blame Riku, he was only trying to—”

“How could you do this to him?” she cried, making Aqua and Mickey wince. “How could you take me away from him?” 

Riku didn’t try to defend himself; didn’t even answer her. He just looked at her with sorrow and guilt. 

“Riku,  _ why?! _ ”

“It’s like Aqua said. He asked me to, he was scared of hurting you—”

“But he would never hurt me! You shouldn’t have taken me from him, I don’t care what he said!”

Riku’s head drooped. “He was bent over you with his head close to your heart and this hunger in his eyes. What was I supposed to do? I saw the darkness surrounding him, and I—”

“He saved me,” she said, choking back a sob. “I opened the stupid box because I thought it would help him. I forgot what had really happened, I forgot that he sealed his light inside the box to spare my life. My light was what it was really after, and once it had the option again, it released his light and took mine. And without any light, my heart can’t survive.”

Understanding dawned on Riku’s face. “So that’s why he screamed. He found you after the box had taken your light.”

“How did you not realize that?” she wailed. Now it was too late. The damage had been done; Sora was alone and heartbroken and—

“I’m sorry, it all happened so fast, I didn’t know what to do—”

She stumbled out of bed, unsteady on her feet. “I have to help him, I have to save him—”

“Kairi, no!” Mickey cried. “You’re still recovering!” 

A surge of drowsiness hit her again, and tears filled her eyes as she fought another one of Aqua’s sleep spells.

Why wouldn’t they let her help Sora? They didn’t understand, they didn’t understand what had happened… He had saved her because he loved her. Sacrificed his light with a… with a… 

She had to help him, why wouldn’t they let her see him… why were they keeping her separated from him… 

She wanted to see him again, she wanted to apologize for everything, wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him… tell him… 

* * *

When Kairi woke up again, she was safe in her bed once more. The headache was still there, as were the lump in her throat and the dried tears staining her cheeks. Fresh tears soon welled up in her eyes to join them. She had hoped this had all been a nightmare and that she would wake up in Sora’s arms when it was over. But the nightmare was real. Riku and the others really had brought her home like they’d promised, like she’d wanted… just without Sora. 

And without him, it wasn’t home at all. 

“Sora,” she whimpered as the tears poured down her cheeks. She’d abandoned him after she’d promised not to. He’d kept his promise; he hadn’t abandoned her. She was the one who had abandoned him, and in his hour of need, too. 

She moved to wipe her eyes and froze. Her hand flew to where her ring was supposed to be. It was gone. The room began to spin around her as her breath came in loud gasps. She threw the covers off and stumbled out of bed.

“Where is it? Where’s my ring?” she cried. 

Had she lost it? Had she really lost the sign of Sora’s vow, of her vow to him? The thought made her sick, made her sway back and forth on her feet. The room spun some more and she threw her arms out to try to steady herself, but it was too late. Right before she could hit the floor, though, someone caught her and took her back to bed.

“Riku?” she whimpered as he gently laid her down. His arm was bandaged, and as she realized why, her eyes started watering again. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—”

She reached out and touched it, summoning the light within herself to heal him. It still didn’t fully feel like her light yet; it was in a state of flux as it adjusted to its new host. 

“Kairi, no, save your strength.”

She shook her head as the green light growing from underneath her palm mended his skin. “I hurt you. I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I acted without knowing the full story, and you were just trying to help Sora.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have done that.”

He smiled sadly. “Maybe not, but I have to say, you pack one hell of a bite.”

She choked out a sound that was half laugh and half sob. “I was doing my best.”

When the injury was healed, she slumped against the bed. Aqua brought her some food to eat and water to drink, and when she’d downed enough of both, Mickey handed her something very precious.

“My ring!” Kairi clutched it tightly as relief flooded through her. “But how—”

“Sorry, I had to take it off so you wouldn’t hurt Riku,” Aqua said sadly. 

“Oh.” She slipped it back on her finger. There. Everything felt a little less hopeless with it back in its rightful place.

“So, correct me if I’m wrong,” Mickey said, “but just to get things straight, the box took your light and left you for dead, then Sora saved you with his light, right?”

She nodded, her fingers fluttering to her lips. “I was sinking in an endless void, and there was nothing but darkness all around me. But then I felt a gentle pressure on my lips, and light started pouring into my heart. I’ve never felt so… so loved. It was like he was pouring all of his love into me, all at once.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “He wanted me to live. I was never in any danger. Not from him, anyway.”

“So that’s why he looked the way he did. That’s why there was only darkness left in his heart.” Riku sighed deeply. “Kairi, I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“No, I’m sorry for hurting you. You were just trying to help.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have barged in there like that, thinking I knew best. Who knows how much worse things will be now because of my actions.”

Everyone was silent for a few moments, stewing over how they had failed Sora. 

“I have to go back there and help him,” Kairi finally said. Of that she was sure. She would keep her promise to him, no matter what, whether she had the support of the others or not.

“We will,” Mickey corrected, and Kairi relaxed. She was willing to go after Sora alone, but it sure would be a whole lot easier with the help of her friends.

“But first,” Aqua said, “you need to recover your strength, and we need to make sure our plan is airtight. And for that we need you, Kairi. We need your knowledge, your connections to the people in Mare Caelestis. We were there with you, it’s true, but—”

“Hold on, so all of you were there with me? All this time?” 

The three of them nodded, and Kairi put two and two together.

“Alma…” she said, looking at Aqua. “Octavius…” Riku nodded. She’d already figured that one out when she’d woken up in Riku’s arms, and Aqua she’d suspected too. “And Dr. Valens,” she finished, landing on Mickey. Her face went pale. “Wait, you were my  _ doctor  _ Mickey? You heard all that stuff about—about—”

Oh God, all the stuff about… about her birth control, and her sex life, and—

Mickey rubbed the back of his head. “I really am a doctor, Kairi. I promise I’ve kept your personal info personal. I’m sorry for deceivin’ you about my identity.”

“We wanted to tell you we were there to help,” Aqua said, “but we had to keep it a secret from Sora, and we didn’t want him to suspect. If you knew, you would’ve acted differently around us, and he might’ve figured it out.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Kairi said. “Thank you for being there for us.” She would allow herself to mull over the implications of everything more later. Right now, they needed to plan. 

“How long have I been asleep?” she asked. 

Aqua and Mickey and Riku exchanged glances. 

“Three days.”

Kairi swore and tried to get out of bed again, only for Riku to gently put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hang on, Kairi. We can’t afford to mess this up. We can’t rush in there without a plan. We have to account for every way something might go wrong so that we have contingencies.”

“Mickey and Riku already tried to go back,” Aqua explained, “but it didn’t work. Our portal into the castle is closed, and we only have one in the town now. But the guards wouldn’t let them back into the castle. Something’s changed. Either Sora isn’t letting people in, or someone else has gotten involved.”

“Oh,” she said as she slumped back onto the bed. That… complicated things.

“We think, if you go with us, we’ll have a better shot at gettin’ inside,” Mickey added.

“And not just you,” Riku said. “All of our friends are coming this time.”

“All of them?”

Riku smiled. “All of them.”

“You’ll get to see them soon,” Aqua promised. “For now, rest. We’ll start planning as soon as you’re ready.”

“Promise?”

Aqua nodded. “Promise.”

The others left her alone after that. She knew she couldn’t fully rest until Sora was safe, but at least she had a purpose to work towards. At least she had a goal. 

She would save Sora if it was the last thing she did. She could only hope and pray that he would hang in there long enough for her to return to his side. To tell him what he needed to hear. To show him what was in her heart, to apologize for everything that had happened.

His light still glowed bright within her, keeping her safe and warm and alive. But it was starting to feel a little less like him and a little more like her as it adjusted to its new host. And for whatever reason, that felt like a countdown. A timer. Once it was fully hers, Sora might—

She squeezed her eyes shut. “Sora, hang in there,” she whispered. “The princess will come for her knight, and soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi has a flashback to the black box taking Sora's light instead of hers.
> 
> Hello everyone! Hope you're doing okay. This chapter hopefully further cleared up some details about what happened with the black box and gave more insight into Kairi's mental state and feelings about everything. The flashback scene at the beginning happened before the first chapter of the story, so things have finally come full circle. 
> 
> Have a good day, and I'll see you next week!


	36. The Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

“Your Majesty?”

Sora ignored the voice on the other side of the door. His left hand throbbed dully, and the tips of his fingers were as red as blood. His hollow gaze landed on his ring. It was still there, still on his finger even though it was getting too tight. 

“Your Majesty, I have your breakfast,” Marcus tried again. 

Eating was pointless. It was just food getting mashed up in his mouth to go to his stomach. Mechanical, rote, empty. His body would want more again soon after eating, too. There was no satisfying it. Why even bother. 

“Your Majesty, please, you need to eat something! Your body will get weak if you don’t.”

Sora rolled over. Maybe Marcus was right. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten. Time had kinda lost all meaning. One day had blurred into the next. He didn’t know how long he’d been lying here. 

“Would it make you feel better if I did?” he finally asked. Huh. His voice sounded weird. All coarse and gruff. So that was what happened if he went too long without water. 

“Yes.”

“Then come in.”

The door creaked open, and Marcus wheeled Sora’s breakfast inside. Ever since Sora had abandoned his room, he’d been staying in a completely different wing of the castle, in a small guest bedroom. Wasn’t room for much but the bed and a few other pieces of furniture. Not that he really needed any of that anyway. 

Marcus took one look at him and gasped. “Y-Your Majesty?”

“Morning,” Sora mumbled. 

Now that he could smell the food, his stomach grumbled. Maybe he actually was hungry. His body felt so disconnected from the rest of him that he’d hardly noticed. But Priscilla had made his favorite breakfast food, scrambled eggs and hashbrowns and pancakes with lots of whipped cream and strawberries and sprinkles. The strawberries were red like the ones in that ice cream he and Kairi had shared on their date, red like her hair. And the eggs had ketchup drizzled over them, the way she always liked to make his eggs.

Huh. He’d almost expected to hurt again at the reminders of her, but nothing. No pain, no regret, nothing. Marcus gingerly set the tray on the bed, and Sora reached for the fork. But his hand shook so badly he couldn’t manage to grab it. Marcus’s eyes went wide when he noticed Sora’s red fingertips. 

“Your Majesty, I think… I think giving you this food was a mistake. You’ll just throw it up if you try to eat it.”

Sora shrugged and wrapped his hand around the water glass instead. It sloshed around and some water even spilled on the eggs, but he got the glass to his mouth in the end. The cold liquid went down his throat and spilled down his chin and dripped onto the blanket. 

When he set it down, he realized his face was itchy. His fingers brushed his cheek. Oh. There was scruff there. Weird. That kind of thing used to bother him, but… nothing. The physical sensation of itchiness was still there, yeah, but he didn’t care about it one way or the other. 

“Your Majesty?” Marcus asked, his eyes full of… concern? Sora was tempted to tell him it wasn’t worth it, it was so much better, so much easier being empty. But he decided to indulge Marcus’s question anyway.

“What is it?” he replied.

“Is… is there anything I can do to help?” 

Sora shrugged. “You’ve already gone above and beyond, you and Priscilla both. You’ve always served me well.”

“No, I don’t mean that, I mean… anything I can do to help with… with you.”

Sora looked at the window. The curtains were closed, but little gaps of sunlight still filtered through.

“How much time has passed since I came to this room?”

“Three days. Your people miss you, Your Majesty.”

“Oh.” For whatever reason, he’d thought more time had passed than that. He’d also forgotten about the whole king business. 

“I guess I should go back to doing king stuff, huh,” he finally said. 

“I think that would be wise,” Marcus said, and Sora glanced up.

“What, are people talking about me?” 

Marcus sighed deeply. “You know they always do. Lygia and her parents have been monitoring the situation with the nobles, and me and Priscilla have been watching the other servants. Your position is… kinda precarious, now that Her Majesty and Captain Octavius aren’t here. Some people have started noticing, especially Lady Diana and her allies.”

Of course. Without Kairi and Riku by his side, it was the perfect opportunity for Lady Diana to make her move. Kairi had been right to warn him about making an enemy out of her. Better luck next time. None of this really mattered, anyway. He didn’t understand why Lady Diana was so hellbent on getting the kingdom for herself. All the wealth and power in the worlds was no guarantee of happiness. 

“I think… I think it would be good, if you made some sort of public appearance. Just to put everyone’s minds at ease,” Marcus clarified.

“Are they really that worried?

“Well… yeah,” Marcus said as he loaded the tray back onto the cart. “We told them you’re sick, so of course they’re concerned about you.”

“Oh. Do you really think I’m sick, Marcus?”

“I…” Marcus began, then hesitated.

“You can be honest.” 

“I think… Your Majesty is sick at heart. But it’s a kind of sickness I’ve never seen before. I thought it was heartbreak at first, but…”

“Oh, I’m long past that now,” Sora said. “This is what happens when your heart gets broken so many times it can’t break anymore.”

Marcus shot him a worried look. “That sounds awful.”

Sora shrugged. “Nah, not really. It actually feels better like this. There’s no more pain anymore.”

“Forgive me for saying so, Your Majesty, but maybe there should be.” 

Before Sora could reply, though, Marcus swept the cart out of the room. “I’ll be back soon with food you can eat more easily,” he said.

Sora said nothing as he watched the door slam behind him. 

Was Marcus right? Should he be feeling something, anything right now? Even if it was just pain?

No. Feeling too much was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place. Things were better this way. No more heartbreak, no more agony, no more loneliness. Just emptiness and an eternal now. He wasn’t happy or sad, he just… was. And someday, he wouldn’t be.

The prospect didn’t affect him whatsoever, and that was the emptiest feeling of all. 

* * *

As Sora made his way to the meeting room, hands gloved and hair covered with one of his crowns at Marcus’s insistence, someone found him.

“Your Majesty,” called Lady Diana, and Sora glanced at her. She was wearing a dress that was so green it made him wince. Her hair was in some fancy updo, and she wore a shawl, too. Earrings that at least looked like they were made out of diamonds hung from her ears, and she had on a necklace and bracelet to match. 

“What is it?” he asked, and even to him his voice sounded dull and unimpressed. 

“I simply wanted to congratulate you on your recovery.”

“Thanks, I guess?”

Recovery was an awfully subjective word, and Sora’s definition of recovery didn’t really seem to fit her definition of recovery. Eh, whatever, he knew nothing out of her mouth could be trusted, anyway.

She took a step towards him. “We were worried sick about you.”

Her voice was as smooth as honey, and that dress was awfully low cut for what was supposed to be a logistics meeting about the grand opening of the new orphanage building. 

“I’m sure you were,” he said as he took a step away from her. The perfume she was wearing was way too strong, and he was gonna throw up all the crackers and applesauce he’d eaten earlier at this rate. 

“And if I may inquire as to where Her Majesty is?”

He was silent. The question was simple, and yet… the words wouldn’t come out.

Why wouldn’t they come out?

Her green eyes flashed, and a knowing smile crossed her features. “Your eyes betray you, Your Majesty. Is it really so hard to answer my question?”

“What question?”

“Where is Queen Kairi?” she repeated, enunciating every word.

He looked away. “She’s on a trip.”

Why had he lied? She wasn’t on a trip. Being on a trip would imply she was coming back. 

Lady Diana quirked an eyebrow. “A trip, you say? A trip that leaves her husband despondent and locked in his room for days?”

“I got sick, remember?”

“Ah yes. You got sick, and Doctor Valens isn’t here to help!” Her eyes narrowed. “Where is he? And where are Captain Octavius and Lady Alma?”

“You’ll get to hear about that soon enough, along with everyone else,” Sora replied. “I’ll see you in the meeting.”

With that, she went on ahead of him, but not before casting one last snide glance his way. He didn’t follow immediately after her. Instead he looked in the mirror on the wall nearby. 

His yellow eyes were dull and lifeless. Didn’t matter if he was gonna laze around in his room, but for a public appearance, he supposed he should put in a little effort. Marcus had been freaked out enough as it was, and he didn’t want to have a repeat of that.

“Smile, Sora,” he told himself. His mouth split open and his lips curled up, revealing white teeth and pink gums. But even though his face was forming the motions of a smile, his eyes stayed the same. 

Huh. Guess he couldn’t do a whole lot about that. As he straightened his uniform and made sure his crown still covered his hair and his gloves his fingers, the figure in the mirror gazed back. It had evolved yet again, he noted dully. Its eyes were blue and it had brown hair and a heart with light and darkness in balance. Sora was the monster wasting away in this castle-turned-prison. He had been all along. 

“You can fake it all you want, but you’re not fooling these people,” the figure said. “You’re not a human anymore. You’re a monster. Just like the one in the story the knight had to slay. Just like all those monsters you’ve destroyed with your Keyblade. Tell me, Sora, who’s gonna destroy you once you’re too far gone?”

Sora hesitated. It was something he hadn’t thought too much about yet. He was still in control of himself right now, but—

“This is what you deserve, you know,” the figure said. “You’ve changed fate too many times. You’ve tried to save  _ her _ too many times, and this is the price you have to pay.”

“I know,” Sora said. “But—”

“But what?” it asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“She’s worth it.” 

He reached for his pocket, instinctively feeling for where her lucky charm should be. But it wasn’t there; it had been abandoned in his room. Maybe leaving it there had been a mistake. Other than his ring, it was the most significant thing he had left of her. But then again, the thought of seeing it again caused the empty feeling inside him to grow bigger. 

The figure laughed, its blue eyes gleaming in the mirror. “You fool, you still care! Your emotionless act is just an act. Haven’t you learned anything? You came to me for help because your heart was in so much pain that you wanted to die. When you gave yourself over to the darkness, you were supposed to let go of her. It was your one shot at finding true peace. But you didn’t. You’re still clinging to her, and she’ll just bring you more pain.” 

“I’m not still clinging to her. I let her go. I sent her away.”

“Then why are you still wearing your ring?”

Sora hesitated again. Why was he still wearing it? It was making his hand throb, and it was a constant reminder of what he’d lost. But he couldn’t bring himself to take it off. He just couldn’t. 

“I made a vow,” he said at last. “The ring is a sign of that vow. Until I die, I can’t take it off.” 

The figure’s eyes narrowed. “That sounds an awful lot like sentiment. Dare I say, love? You don’t need to wear it anymore. You’re as good as dead anyway. Removing it won’t make a difference.”

“Even corpses get buried with their clothes,” Sora pointed out. Besides, it wasn’t like anyone else had a use for his ring. 

“Fine, corpse. Just remember your fate is to rot along with the rest of the dead.”

Sora opened his mouth to reply, but the figure was gone. It was just his reflection staring back now, with its hollow yellow eyes and its emotionless face. The figure wasn’t so far off. He was a dead man walking, just shuffling through the motions because dying took too much effort. 

Then again, so did living. His legs carried him to the meeting room, and his arms pushed it open. Empty, puppet-like movements to do things someone else thought he “should” do. The nobles he’d invited were seated around the round table already, with only his seat empty. 

Kairi’s seat should be empty, too. But it wasn’t. Lady Diana was sitting there. As Sora made his way over to his seat, the other nobles expressed their relief at seeing him again, but Sora only nodded and made a few brief replies as he narrowed in on Lady Diana.

“Lady Diana,” he said coolly. “I believe you’re in my wife’s seat.”

She toyed with her necklace. “Oh, am I? My mistake, I didn’t notice.” 

But as her eyes met his, the message was clear: this wasn’t a mistake, and she wasn’t gonna move. 

Sora cleared his throat. “Move. Please.” 

“But Her Majesty isn’t here today. She’s been missing ever since His Majesty fell ill,” Lady Diana said sweetly. “Surely it isn’t that big of a deal for me to sit here until she returns.” She glanced around and laughed airily. “I mean, this is a round table, is it not? You designed it this way so that no one of us is better than the others. Why should she get special treatment, especially when she’s not even here?”

“Pardon me for saying so,” Lord Aurelius said, “but by that logic, why should you?”

Lady Diana shot Lord Aurelius a death glare, but he just shrugged. “Am I wrong, Your Ladyship?”

His voice was icy cold as he looked calmly into Lady Diana’s eyes. Several tense moments passed, and then Lady Diana finally relented and stood. “Very well, Your Majesty, we shall keep this seat open for Her Majesty, who is sure to return any day now, isn’t she?”

Sora said nothing.

“She knows how much His Majesty adores her. I’m sure she returns his devotion and wishes to return to his side as quickly as possible. Especially for the new orphanage building she helped create.”

A few moments of dead silence passed, and he knew he had to say something. 

“She… regrets not being able to be here, but…” 

The words caught in his throat, and he sat down. Did she regret not being here though? She’d told him she wanted to go back to Destiny Islands, and now she was home. She was far better off being back there with all their friends than she would be here on Mare Caelestis with him. 

Lady Diana finally took her seat, which made him think about how Kairi was usually the last one who sat down. It was a tradition he’d started to try to get the nobles to show her some respect. He was the second last to sit down, and then she was the last person to sit down to make it loud and clear that if they were showing deference to him, they had better show it to her, too. Would Lady Diana really challenge him at every turn like this? The meeting hadn’t even officially started yet, and her antics were already getting old.

“Thank you for coming here today, everyone,” he said after he greeted them all. “I know my illness has you all worried, but rest assured, I’m on the road to recovery.”

Lady Flavia, Lord Claudius, and Lord Aurelius looked relieved to hear this, as did the other nobles. 

“I’m sorry for making you worried. As for Queen Kairi… she…”

The words wouldn’t come out again. Curses. Would he never be able to talk about her without… without this happening?

“She’s… on a trip right now, looking for something that might speed up my recovery. She took Lady Alma and Captain Octavius with her as protection, and Doctor Valens likewise accompanied her to give his expert medical opinion.”

Lies, all lies. No one was coming to save him. No one would swoop in and rescue him. His friends were protecting Kairi from the monster he’d become, and that was how it should be. 

“Oh, that’s good to know,” Lord Claudius said, sitting back in his red plush seat and relaxing. “Excuse my bluntness, Your Majesty, but… your illness, combined with her sudden disappearance… we were worried she’d up and left you.”

“She would never,” Sora said, his voice low and his fingers balling into a fist. And yet, in a way, she had left him. Sure, she’d tried to protest at first, but… she hadn’t come back. Shouldn’t come back. Because this was what he deserved, for all the times he’d abandoned her and broken his promises. 

Most of the nobles nodded their agreement, but Lady Diana’s eyes narrowed. She wasn’t buying it.

“Lady Flavia, would you mind updating us all on the latest reports for the orphanage?” Sora asked. 

She nodded graciously and took the floor. “I visited the new building yesterday to take a few photos.” These she passed around the room. “As you can see, we are just about ready to have the grand opening.”

As the nobles looked over the photos, she said, “Oh, I nearly forgot, Your Majesty! Rufus wrote a letter to you both.”

Sora took it from her. It was kinda hard to grasp stuff well with gloves like these on, but he did his best. The envelope was thick and bulky, but he didn’t dare take his gloves off to open it.

Thankfully, Lady Flavia came to the rescue and did it for him. She even handed the letter to him to make things easier. 

**Dear Your Majesties, **

**We got to see the new building yesterday. It was awesome! Thanks for all the stuff you’ve done for me and the other kids. It’s nice to know there are cool adults who care about people like us. **

**Queen Kairi, on your latest visit, Camilla asked you a question, remember? And you told us you wanted to have kids with King Sora soon. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this tradition before, but on Mare Caelestis, people hang a special ornament from their door frames when they want to have a baby. It’s for good luck and keeps the mom and baby healthy. **

**So me and the other kids made one for you two. You’ve helped us so much, and we wanted to do something for you guys, too. You’d be the best parents ever. I kinda wish you were my parents.**

**Oops, Headmaster Lucius is scolding me for saying that (he’s helping me write this letter). He says that it’s rude to pressure you into adopting kids when you want to have kids of your own. But even after you have lots and lots of kids, don’t forget us, okay? We won’t ever forget you.**

**Sincerely,**

**Rufus**

The room felt hotter and spun around Sora a little. Something squeezed his lungs in a vice grip, and he gasped for air. What could’ve been… what could never be—

“Oh, there’s something else inside the envelope,” Lady Flavia said. “Two somethings, actually.”

She handed them to him. One was the special charm made by the kids. It was a red circular shape with long fringe hanging off of it and special symbols stitched onto the fabric. The other thing was a photo of him and—of him and—

His whole body began to shake and shudder, and the food he’d eaten earlier threatened to come back up again. Kairi looked as beautiful as she had the day he’d lost her, eyes twinkling and a playful smile on her face. She held his hand for the photo, and all the kids from the orphanage were gathered all around them. 

“Kairi,” he choked out, and his voice sounded awful. 

Heart of his heart, love of his life, his delight and joy, his dear, precious wife—how was he supposed to live without her? 

“Your Majesty?” Lady Flavia said, her face full of concern. 

“He’s having a relapse!”

“Quick, get him back to his room, he needs rest!”

“Lord Aurelius…” Sora said as he felt someone help him to his feet. “Please, take over the meeting from here…”

The last thing Sora remembered about the meeting was Lady Diana’s cruel face, smiling triumphantly as someone dragged him away. But he was too out of it to do anything about it. As he drifted in and out of consciousness, he called for Kairi. He was cold, and he remembered all those times she’d draped a blanket over his shoulders when he had fallen asleep while working, or when he was listening to her read him a story, or after they’d made love and were cuddling together. 

“Stop fantasizing about her,” the figure from the mirror snapped, its face appearing in his mind. “It’ll just make things worse.”

The figure was right, of course, but his fantasies were the only nice thing left in his miserable existence. Surely no one would begrudge him a little comfort right now, even if it was just an illusion. He could imagine happier times, happier days. Maybe things were over between him and Kairi, but they’d been beautiful while they’d lasted. And she had her whole life ahead of her, to learn and grow and explore, to make new friends, to find love again—

His body was shaking again, and when he touched his cheek, it was wet. No wonder his throat was so thick. The life he’d wanted for him and Kairi could never be, and his body and what was left of his heart were grieving for that on top of grieving her loss. 

“You’re an idiot,” the figure said, laughing cruelly. “Thought you could think about her without it breaking your heart all over again, did you? You talk big about sacrifice, but you can’t even stomach the thought of her loving another man now that you’re no longer a part of her life.”

“She’s free to love whoever she wants.”

“It’s just not you.” 

“How could it be?” Sora said, his voice breaking. “I’m not the prince-turned-king. I’m not even the knight anymore. I’m the monster.” 

“And a princess could never love a monster.” 

Maybe not, but he still loved her and dreamed of being with her. If only he hadn’t been fractured and broken into pieces, over and over again. His sacrifices had been necessary to save her, but they had doomed him in the process, doomed them from ever being together. Her life was worth the price, but oh how he wished he had more to show for it than an empty shell of a body, a splintered mind, and a broken heart. 

Why was fate so cruel? What had he ever done to piss off whoever it was that was in charge of the universe? Surely he’d suffered enough for whatever bad things he’d done throughout his life. No wrongdoing on his part had ever warranted this—this rending between him and the universe on every level, this tearing apart of his heart and body and soul over and over again, this endless separation between him and Kairi. 

It always circled back to her, didn’t it? His whole journey had begun the day he’d lost her, and it was going to end with her still lost to him. But even then, he still had his memories. So perhaps it wasn’t such a surprise that her name was the last thing on his lips as he fell asleep.

“Kairi…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with Sora's mental health issues, including his grief over losing Kairi and the life they could have together, his loss of energy and motivation to do everyday tasks, and the darkness taunting him about his mental state (and calling him a corpse).
> 
> Also, the next chapter will continue to delve into Sora's mental health issues, his grief over his separation from Kairi, and how that impacts his mental state, as well as the darkness and the figure in the mirror. 
> 
> Hope you're all doing okay, and I'll see you next week!


	37. The Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings, as there is violent content in this chapter.

There was a soft knock on the door. Sora’s eyes fluttered open and rested on his hand. His fingers were red up to the middle knuckles now, and the dull throbbing from his ring was more insistent than ever. 

“I’m coming in,” a voice called, and he rolled over. The person who entered the room made his heart soar. He almost forgot about the dull empty ache inside as she smiled at him.

“Kairi?” he said, hardly believing his own eyes. But what was so hard to believe? Kairi always came for him when he was sick or wounded or injured so she could nurse him back to health. She must’ve heard his heart’s cry and was here to—

“Your Majesty, I’m not… I’m not Queen Kairi.”

Just as quickly as his heart had soared, it sank back down into the depths. Of course. He must be blind, to not see that this was Lygia instead of his beloved. 

“Oh, right. Sorry,” he mumbled as she set a fresh glass of water next to his bed. “You must think I’m crazy to mix the two of you up like that.”

“The heart sees what the heart wishes to see, Your Majesty. It’s okay, I know you miss her.” 

Lygia gathered the used plates from earlier and stacked them, then tucked the blanket around him.

“Marcus will have your breakfast ready in another half hour or so. Until then, rest well.” 

She was about to leave when Sora stopped her.

“Do you think… she misses me?” he asked, his voice sounding very small. 

“I’m sure she does, Your Majesty. How could she not?”

Sora was silent. In his heart of hearts, he wanted to believe she did, but—

“You’re her other half, her soulmate, her heart’s true love! Of course she misses you!” 

He just stared at her. “You really think so?”

Her face went red and she coughed and ducked her head. “My apologies for the outburst, Your Majesty, I just… How can you not see what is so clear to everyone else?”

He stared at his ring. “Because I lost her love before. I abandoned her and left her behind so many times that her heart shut itself off to me. It’s hard to believe she could really love me after that. There for a while, I thought she did, but now she’s gone again.”

“But she does love you, Your Majesty, I’m sure of it!”

His eyes met hers. “How? How can you be so sure?”

“Just wait and see. She’ll prove her love is true, I know she will.”

Lygia left the room, and Sora sighed deeply. It wasn’t that simple. Crossing realms wasn’t child’s play, and if Kairi really wanted to come back to him and had found a way to do so, she would have by now. Besides, she shouldn’t come back. She shouldn’t. He had nothing to offer her but this broken, hollow shell, and she deserved so much better. She deserved the worlds. Not an empty husk of a man with a heart full of darkness.

His hand went to the dark mark on his chest. The tendrils reached a little further into his skin now.

“Stay away from the monster, Kairi. The knight can’t save you this time if you get too close.”

“That’s right,” came the figure from the mirror, flickering into existence near him. It was translucent, but it looked a little more real than it had in the mirror and inside his head. 

“You’re too weak to protect her from yourself,” it said. “And before too long, you’ll be too weak to protect her from me.”

Sora frowned. “What do you mean by that?” 

“Lygia is right, you know. Kairi will come for you. And when she does… her king will be waiting for her.”

“Huh?” Sora asked, his heart pounding. But the figure was already gone.

* * *

Sora’s days were spent in a dull haze of meetings, but there was no distracting himself in the evenings and nights. He’d taken to wandering aimlessly around the castle to get his mind off his thoughts, not really caring who he passed or what they thought. Rumors about a ghost wailing through the halls at night began to circulate. The ghost was said to cry out for its lost love, and wild stories about the identity of the ghost and its beloved abounded. 

It took him long enough to realize people had just spotted him in his old brown cloak he’d used to follow Kairi to make sure she was safe. Considering how aimless his wandering was and how little he usually remembered after the fact, who knew the kinds of things he was saying out loud that people might’ve heard. It didn’t really matter what they thought, so he might as well let them entertain themselves. 

One night, on one of his regular strolls, he wound up in the lovers’ garden. The fountain was still there, and he stared at it as water poured forth from the lovers’ wounds. Had it really been almost a year since he’d proposed to Kairi here? All of that seemed so long ago, like it was from a different lifetime. Even his birthday gift to her back in May seemed so far away.

His birthday gift. A lump built in his throat as he thought about it. If it had reacted to his love for her by making flowers bloom, what would it look like now in his heartbroken state? 

Still, an overwhelming sense of curiosity gripped him. It had been a while since he’d felt anything besides pain or emptiness, and he had to know. Had to see for himself. 

He summoned his Keyblade, and it looked truly terrible. All broken and shattered and ugly, with huge chunks missing because his light was missing. No, not missing, given to Kairi as his final gift to her. But so long as he could open the portal to this place, it didn’t really matter how awful his Keyblade looked. 

When he pointed it at the portal, darkness shot out of it instead of light. He sighed deeply. That was to be expected, he supposed. But his Keyblade, as fragmented as it was right now, still managed to do the trick. The portal opened, and as he stepped inside, things were worse than he’d imagined. 

The log cabin was still intact, but everything around it looked dead. The trees had lost all of their leaves, and some of them had been split down the middle, as if lightning had struck them. The flowers were all gone and the grass was withered, leaving not much but bare, empty dirt. The place was silent except for a howling wind that tore through it. The animals must’ve gone, and even the pool had dried up. 

He shuffled over to the cherry tree where he and Kairi had made such happy memories together and plopped down beneath it. He reached out and touched it, willing it to heal and get its leaves back. It wouldn’t ever bloom again, but at least it could live.

As his hand connected with the bark, though, darkness came out of him instead and poisoned the tree. It withered even further, and he jerked his hand away like it was on fire.

“Please, don’t die—” he begged it, searching for something, anything that might keep it alive. His magic wouldn’t work, it was darkness magic through and through, but surely there was something—

He staggered over to the cabin and went inside. The furniture was dusty, but surely the faucet would still work. He yanked a bowl out of one of the cabinets, and while the sink creaked and groaned, after a few seconds, water did come out. He let the bowl fill up as much as he dared before racing back to the tree and pouring the water over its roots. He did this several times until finally, finally, it stopped withering. 

He collapsed onto the ground, panting for breath. “It’s bad enough that I’m like this,” he told the tree. “Don’t you go dying on me too.” 

The wind just kept howling, and he sighed and stared at the tree. Maybe watering it had been pointless. Maybe he was just delaying the inevitable and dragging its misery out that much longer. Everything else here was dead. It was only a matter of time before the tree died, too.

He stood and wiped his hands on his pants. It took him a few moments to remember that only the dirt would come off. The red was here to stay. He sighed again and fished for his gloves. No one needed to see what was happening to him just yet, they would find out eventually at this rate.

“Look at you,” the figure from the mirror said, this time standing with its hand resting on the tree. Its blue eyes were narrow as it glared at Sora, and it looked splendid in its royal robes. “Trying to hide from people what you really are.”

“And what am I?” Sora snapped.

“A monster. You kill things instead of bringing life to things. You bring destruction. Death. That’s all you are, an angel of death.”

“You don’t have to rub it in,” Sora muttered as he crossed his arms. He knew full well what he was becoming. The red spreading up his hands, the darkness on his chest, the yellow eyes, the silver that nearly reached to the tips of his hair now, the itching between his shoulder blades—

“That’s what happens when you lose your other half,” the figure said in a matter-of-fact tone. “You were never meant to be torn apart from Kairi, and yet you just keep suffering in this wretched state.”

“As long as she’s safe, I don’t care what happens to me.”

The figure gave him an easy smile, a charming smile. “She’ll be fine, so long as she stays away from you. She’s your opposite. She brings life to things, like a goddess.” 

Something about its smile was very sinister, and Sora’s skin crawled. It was behind him now, breathing down his neck, murmuring in his ear. “Like a mother,” it added, and Sora gasped. It was like the figure had knocked the wind out of his chest, taunting him with what he had so desperately wanted to share with Kairi. What wouldn’t ever be possible between the two of them now.

The figure just laughed at his distress as he whirled around and stared at it. “What? She doesn’t need you. She’s doing just fine without you. She’s not torn up about losing you the way you’re torn up about losing her. Without her, you can’t fly, but without you, she can do just fine for herself. You made her wait for so long. She had to get strong without you. But I won’t make her wait. When she comes, I’ll be waiting for her.”

“No, you won’t,” Sora said as he glared at the figure. Something inside of him had snapped, and it was giving him the strength to push back against this… this thing the darkness had birthed. “I’m the only one who can see you. You’re just a figment of my imagination.”

“Am I?” the figure said as it gripped the cherry tree’s bark. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” it said with a grin, then ripped a piece off and threw it at Sora. It actually connected with his skin and made him yelp, and shivers went down his spine. If it could interact with the physical world, then… Kairi—

He summoned his Keyblade and cast Stopza magic on the whole area, then raced back to the portal and stumbled through it, his breath coming in loud, panting gasps. It had been too long since he’d regularly run around like this or even used his magic, and his body was already drained. Casting magic like that had made the darkness in his heart flood out too, and he knew it would probably ruin what was left of the Secret Wood.

Didn’t matter. Had to seal the place shut for good. He mustered up the energy to do so, then slumped to the ground. There. That should have sealed the figure inside. Besides, going back to the Secret Wood would just be too painful, and there was no need to keep the temptation around. It could go back to whatever void it had come from and take the figure along with it. He had no use for the place itself anymore, and neither did Kairi. 

As he staggered to his feet and limped away, there was a nagging thought at the back of his mind, like he’d forgotten something. Was it really sealed? Sure, he’d done what he could, but—

He shook his head to clear it. Everything would be fine now. The figure was gone. Kairi was safe back in the Realm of Light. The only one who would keep suffering here was him… and that was how it should be. 

* * *

Another few days went by, and it was time for the autumn festival again. Sora hadn’t made any public appearances for his subjects since Kairi had gone, and he figured this one should be safe enough. He’d get to ride his horse Misty for the parade and be a little removed from the cheering crowds. Maybe this would quiet down some of the wild rumors about his ability to rule, about the ghost that haunted the castle… 

Ugh, he’d never gotten used to all the paparazzi attention the way Kairi had. What he wouldn’t give to live a life out of the limelight. But here he was, getting ready for a parade because this was the lot that had been dealt to him. Now that Kairi was gone, even the parts he’d once enjoyed had become drudgery. There were too many painful memories associated with this place, and he couldn’t even escape them.

As he went to the stables, he passed by Midnight, Kairi’s horse. Midnight raised his head and nickered, ears pricked in Sora’s direction, and Sora sighed.

“Sorry, Kairi’s not here,” he told the horse as he dug around in his pocket for a couple of sugar cubes. When he stretched his hand out towards Midnight, though, Midnight tensed and backed up a little. 

He glanced at his hand to see what the problem was. Oh, right. He’d forgotten to put his gloves on. Of course Midnight had noticed that his fingers were red up to the base knuckles now. Well, insomuch as a horse could even see the color red. He slipped the gloves on and then tried to offer Midnight the sugar cubes again, but Midnight refused to come closer.

“Oh, fine,” he muttered as he left the sugar cubes on the stall, then went to find Misty. She greeted him warmly at first, but when he tried to offer her a couple of sugar cubes, the same thing happened, even with the gloves on.

“Misty, it’s me,” he said. “I’m still me, I’m still Sora—”

Was he though? Animals could sense things humans couldn’t, and maybe the horses… maybe they could tell something was wrong with him. He’d be lucky if Misty even let him put a saddle on her, let alone climb on her back. 

He sighed and left the sugar cubes on the stall again. Misty stared at him for a few moments, then stepped forward and reached her head out as far as it would go to snatch up the sugar cubes. She backed up quickly, then slurped and chewed them as he watched her. When she was done, he reached his hand out towards her.

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I won’t hurt you.”

She nickered and moved closer to him.

“There we go, that’s my girl,” he said, and she brought her muzzle to his hand. He let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

“See? Everything’s fine.”

She nickered again, and he moved his head closer to her. 

“It’s funny, this is the first time anyone’s wanted to touch me in ages,” he said as he gently stroked her face. “The rest of them are scared of me, see, even if they won’t admit it.”

There was one person’s touch he missed the most, one person’s touch he craved more than anything. She had all different kinds of touches, one for every occasion. Sympathy touches and comfort touches, touches full of affection and tenderness, touches that told him she wanted him, needed him, desired him—

But that was all over now. He was alone. 

Poppea came to help him prepare Misty for the festival, and wonder of wonders, Misty allowed him to ride on her back. Everything went by in a blur until he was actually marching in the parade.

In many ways, things were a lot like they’d been last year. The weather was nice. The scents wafting from the food stalls smelled good. Janus was back to being head of the guards in Riku’s absence. If Sora closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that this day was the same as that fateful day a year ago, when Kairi had marched back into his life as he’d marched in the parade. Maybe, if he willed it enough, he could start over. Pretend the last year had never happened. Kairi was safe and he had arrived at Kingdom Hearts and this was his destiny. 

As he drew close to the spot where he’d seen her, he couldn’t help himself. His heart sped up, and his gloved hands were all sweaty as he gripped the reins. Maybe… maybe she would be here. Maybe she would surprise him, like she’d surprised him then. 

“‘Scuse you, what are you doin’?” came a familiar voice as he rounded the corner. Kairi’s friend Cornelia?

“We’ve been waitin’ all morning for this spot. You’ll have to move, Your Worshipfulness,” Julia snapped, but the interloper refused to budge. 

His heart skipped a beat. The interloper was in the exact same spot as he’d seen Kairi. She smiled serenely, and she was dressed in the same clothes Kairi had worn. Same simple dress, same shawl that was draped over her hair as she made eye contact with him. But it wasn’t Kairi’s violet eyes that found his; no, it was cold green ones, and when the shawl slipped down to her shoulders, it revealed dark brown hair instead of Kairi’s beautiful red hair.

This was wrong. It was wrong to see Lady Diana like this, in Kairi’s spot, in Kairi’s clothes, mocking him, tormenting him, getting his hopes up by playing him like a fiddle. Making him think it might be his beloved, only to reveal it was his enemy.

Something inside of him snapped. He raised his hand to halt the parade, and the music died down as everyone stared at him.

“Enough of your tricks, Diana,” he ground out. “Get the hell out of the way of these two women who were just trying to enjoy the parade with their friends.”

She sniffed haughtily. “Or what, you’ll make me?”

“Don’t test my patience.”

She continued to stare up at him, making it clear she would. 

“I have a right to be here,” she said at last, “same as any of our citizens. And there is a statute in our laws that says a noble may sit or stand wherever she pleases during a public holiday, even if it disrupts the peasantry. But you wouldn’t know that, because you never took the time to learn our laws. You were too busy mooning over your peasant wife, too busy following her around like a lovesick fool, constantly slobbering over her and sniveling at her feet till you made us all nauseous. And for what? It’s obvious what happened, despite what you may say. She’s not coming back, is she? She abandoned you, just like I knew she would.” 

The next few moments went by in a blur, but somehow Sora was on the ground now, and he was next to Lady Diana, and his hand was around her throat. Everything was a blur of red, and it was oddly satisfying to see her smug face fill with fear as his fingers squeezed. There. At last he’d gotten her to shut up, to stop harassing him and tormenting him—

“King Sora?” a small, scared voice called, and that was enough to snap him out of his murderous haze. His eyes found the source of the small voice. It was Rufus, looking very upset and very scared as he stared up at Sora.

“Stop, please,” he said, his lip trembling. “Queen Kairi wouldn’t want this.”

The words cut straight to Sora’s heart, and he looked back at Lady Diana. Her face was turning purple, and her eyes were glassy. Her neck was dripping blood because his fingers had split out of his gloves to form horrible claws, and they were digging into her skin. 

What had he done? What had he become? He released her, and she crumpled to the ground, her hand flying to her throat. Cold laughter rang through Sora’s ears, and with a start he realized it was his voice… but not coming from his throat. He gasped. The figure—

Lady Diana wheezed for air, and Sora’s attention snapped back to her. When she had recovered enough, she looked up into his eyes with pure hatred in her own. 

“Guards!” she croaked. “Guards! Surely you can see this man is not fit to be our king! He has attacked one of his subjects, and not only that, he has attacked me, a noble—”

“Oh, lay off it,” Cornelia said. “You were rilin’ him up on purpose.”

“He’s put up with your nonsense for months, it’s a miracle he hasn’t snapped before now,” Julia said as she begrudgingly handed Lady Diana a handkerchief so she could tend to the wounds on her neck. She yanked the handkerchief out of Julia’s fingers and dramatically patted at her bleeding neck, sniffing as she did. 

“No, she’s right,” Sora said. “I’m not… I’m not safe. I shouldn’t be in public like this.” With a heavy heart he turned to the guards and raised his hands. The crowds gasped as they saw the claws protruding from the gloves. “See this? Your king is becoming a monster.” They stared at him with fear and alarm, and he couldn’t bear to look at them anymore. “Take me away, before I can hurt anyone else,” he told the guards.

Janus stepped forward, and he almost looked pleased as he yanked Sora’s hands behind his back. Maybe he was in on Lady Diana’s plot, too. Wouldn’t be surprising. Sora had demoted him for treating Kairi poorly and then had promoted Riku in his place. He was probably still resentful about the whole thing.

As Sora felt handcuffs click shut around his wrists, he turned to Rufus again. 

“I’m sorry, Rufus. I never wanted you to see me like this. But thank you. Thank you for stopping me. Kairi would be proud of you.”

He smiled, and Rufus nodded and wiped his eyes. With that, he addressed the crowds one last time. 

“I’ll be staying in the castle for now. In my absence, I appoint Lord Aurelius to be in charge. Listen to him as you would to me.”

As the guards led him away, he sensed something. Something different in the air, something—

Was that a portal? He narrowed his eyes, and sure enough, the air shimmered in a spot a little ways away, in a side alley by a bunch of barrels. 

“Janus, uncuff me for a moment, please,” Sora said. To his surprise, Janus obeyed him. Maybe some of the guards were still loyal to Sora and “Octavius” and not to Janus. Sora was still king of this realm, after all. At least Lady Diana hadn’t managed to fully overthrow him yet. 

He summoned his Keyblade, and it looked even worse than it had when he’d closed the other portal to the Secret Wood. The guards took a few steps back, knowing instinctively that this was bad news when darkness shot out of it. Didn’t matter. Sora had to close this portal too, had to close it in case the figure had escaped The Secret Wood and was trying to make it to the Realm of Light. In case it tried to hurt Kairi. 

After a few moments of resistance, the portal closed, and Sora let his Keyblade disappear. For a moment he thought he felt Kairi on the other side, but no, it couldn’t be. His mind was just playing tricks on him. His heart was so desperate to see her again that he was simply imagining she was there, just like he had all the other times. 

He offered up his hands again, ready to be made prisoner once more. 

“Take me to the dungeon. That’s where all monsters go to get locked up, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter further deals with Sora's mental health issues. He is also goaded into attacking someone and choking them. Blood is mentioned as well. 
> 
> Upcoming chapters will continue to delve into Sora's mental health issues, his grief over his separation from Kairi, and how that impacts his mental state, as well as the darkness and the figure from the mirror. The most violent chapter of the story is also coming up here soon. 
> 
> Hope you're all doing okay, and I'll see you next week!


	38. Reaching for You

“C’mon, Riku, don’t hold back now!” Kairi barked as she sent a blast of light hurtling towards him. He dodged it easily, and it fell to the ground and landed on the sand of the Play Island, glowing briefly before disappearing. He gave it a quick glance before letting his Keyblade disappear with a sigh. 

“I thought this was a brief exercise to test and see if your strength has recovered, not a full-out battle.” 

“But that’s just it! My strength has recovered, I’m ready to go back!”

The longer they took, the worse it would be for Sora. At this point she wouldn’t blame him if he thought she’d abandoned him for good. She couldn’t stand the thought of him feeling that way, and each day they delayed, his spirits might fall further. 

“Kairi, no offense, but when was the last time you were in an actual battle?” Riku asked. “Sparring with your instructor back on Mare Caelestis doesn’t count. Neither does play fighting with Sora.”

She tensed, and her grip on her Keyblade tightened. “Doesn’t matter, it’s not like I’ve lost years worth of training after being out of the game for a single year.” 

“No, but you’ve been through a lot lately. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but you’ve never actually… fought Sora before. You don’t know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his blows, to know he isn’t going to hold back just because he’s your friend.” 

“I won’t be fighting him, I’ll be saving him.”

Riku looked at her with a grim expression. “But what if he fights you? What if he doesn’t want to be saved? You have to keep all the possibilities in mind.” 

“He wouldn’t give up on himself like that. He never did, not in all the months I was with him, not even when he was at his lowest.” Her hand fluttered to the ring around her finger, the reminder of his vow to love and cherish her. “And he would never even dream of hurting me.” 

“But he did, remember?” Riku said, and her eyes snapped back up to him. “The night of his birthday.”

Kairi bristled at the reminder. So much for Mickey keeping what he knew about her and Sora confidential. It was a wonder every single one of their friends didn’t know all the gory details and tantalizing drama about the first year of their marriage. And considering how scared and ashamed Sora had felt for accidentally hurting her, he would be mortified if he found out that their friends knew what had happened, too. 

“That wasn’t Mickey’s place to tell you,” she ground out. “I never wanted anyone to know except me and Sora and ‘Dr. Valens.’”

Riku gave her a confused look. “What do you think he told us? All he said was that Sora had a darkness outburst and that he had to make sure you were okay.”

Oh. So maybe they didn’t know it had happened when she and Sora were—

An awful sinking feeling settled over her stomach again. She couldn’t even think about that aspect of her relationship with Sora without it threatening to tear something open inside of her. She wouldn’t allow for the possibility that they couldn’t be together again. She wouldn’t. 

“He only told me and Aqua so that we would know what we were dealing with,” Riku said. “But the point is, if Sora can hurt you when he has some light in his heart, just how bad will it be if there isn’t any left anymore? You have to be prepared for the possibility that you’ll be going up against a Sora who isn’t fully in control of himself. He’ll have enough darkness to hurt you, maybe even kill you. If you won’t think of your own safety, at least think about what it would do to him if that happened.”

Kairi turned her head away from Riku. She couldn’t stand to look in his eyes anymore, to see them so earnest and sincere and serious and know that he was right.

“I know,” she admitted. “I just… I don’t want you to be right. I want saving him to be easy. I… I want my love to be good enough.”

What if, after all this time, it wasn’t? What if she couldn’t do for him what he’d done for her so many times before? 

She felt Riku’s hand rest on her shoulder, and she dared to look in his eyes. “It is good enough,” he said, and it was clear he believed the words with all his heart. “But taking a few precautions never hurt anybody.” 

She nodded, and Riku attempted a smile. It was real enough, but the deep sadness in his eyes made it obvious how much Sora’s suffering was hurting him, too. 

“Riku, it’s okay,” she said as she smiled back. “You don’t always have to be the strong one, you know.” 

“Yeah. You and Sora and the rest of our friends have my back.”

She nodded. “That’s right. You don’t have to bear this burden alone. You haven’t had to for a long time.”

“I know. I just can’t help but shake the feeling that this is all my fault. If only I hadn’t taken you away from Sora like that. No matter what I do, it just seems to make things worse, and you and Sora always end up separated in the end.”

“I can hardly blame you for that. Your heart was in the right place, and you were acting with the information you knew at the time. The important thing is that we work together to get Sora back.”

Riku nodded. “Right.” He went to grab his water bottle that was propped up against a nearby coconut tree. “And speaking of working together, I’m gonna tell Aqua and Mickey that you’re ready,” he said after taking a sip. “Well, as ready as you can be. Your strength is back, and your heart seems to be holding on to Sora’s light okay. Even though I’m worried about you, we can’t risk leaving him alone any longer.”

That much they could agree on. “And you and our friends will be with me to make up the difference,” she said. It wasn’t like she was marching into this all alone. 

“Of course. But be ready for a quick turn-around. My guess is that we’ll need to leave tonight, or tomorrow morning at the latest.”

Finally. They would finally be going to rescue Sora. She glanced at her ring and silently prayed that he would be able to hold out until then. 

She and Riku paddled back to the Main Island in their rowboats, and it just didn’t feel the same without Sora here with them. Especially because taking her out on his rowboat was one of his favorite date activities. She thought about all the times they’d spent in each other’s arms, floating out on the open water. Would they ever get to do that again, or—

Yes, yes they would. She wouldn’t allow for a reality where that wasn’t possible, so she started paddling faster. The sooner they got back and could go rescue him, the better. 

When they arrived at the docks, a very dear friend was waiting for them.

“Naminé,” they both said in unison. Riku’s face lit up at the sight of her, and he hurriedly tied his boat up so he could greet her properly and speak with her. Kairi took her time tying up her boat, and by the time she joined them, he had already excused himself so that she and Naminé could speak privately. 

The two of them hugged, and it was so wonderful to see her friend again. Naminé was looking well, and even though Kairi’s return had been marred by sadness, it was nice to be reunited with her friend.

“The others are all here too now,” Naminé said as she pulled away a little to look Kairi in the eye. “We’ll be ready soon.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.” They started walking along the beach, and the sound of waves crashing against the shore, the breeze fluttering over the water, the sun sinking lower in the sky—Kairi hadn’t realized how much she’d missed Destiny Islands. 

But her thoughts wandered to the waves of a different shore. Could Sora hear those waves now? If so, was he thinking of her like she was thinking of him?

“Naminé, how is Sora? How is his heart?”

“I… I’m having trouble reaching him. It’s like he’s closed it off from me and everyone else. I think it must be the darkness. It’s so strong now that I can’t get through to him.” 

“Oh.” Kairi’s heart sank. It wasn’t like that was surprising, but—

“I think you’ll be able to reach him better than I can, anyway,” Naminé said softly. “I know he’s hurting right now, and you are too, but the bonds between you aren’t gone. They just need to be healed. They’re broken and bleeding and bringing you both pain, but that’s only because he loves you so much.”

“His feelings aren’t one-sided, you know,” Kairi said, her voice low. “They never were.” 

“I do know.” Naminé smiled sadly. “But you had to realize that for yourself.”

“And you know what else I’ve realized? What the missing piece is. I know what I need to do to save him.” 

Naminé nodded. “I know you do.”

Together they walked back to Kairi’s house. Since her father was the mayor, it was large enough to hold a lot of people, and it was where Riku and Aqua and Mickey were all staying. And as she and Naminé walked through the front door, a cacophony of voices reached her ears. She glanced at Naminé, who only gave her a cryptic smile, and then took off in the direction of the voices.

“Kairi!” Ven cried as she entered the living room. He swooped her up into a hug, and soon all her friends were gathered around her, hugging her and greeting her and saying hello. So many people were here—Terra and Aqua and Ven; Axel and Roxas and Xion; Mickey, Donald, and Goofy; and of course, Riku and Naminé, too. Isa was about the only one who was missing, but that was because someone had to make sure everything didn’t fall apart while everyone else was gone. 

“We missed you,” Xion said as they embraced. Her hug was comforting, soothing, and just being around her made Kairi hope that everything would be okay. 

“I missed you too. Thank you for comforting me when I was feeling so down.” 

“Of course. We’ll always be there for you, Kairi.”

Kairi smiled a little. That was true. She wasn’t in this alone, and neither was Sora. Speaking of which… 

Aqua glanced at Terra, and he nodded. It warmed Kairi’s heart to see them together again, the rings on their fingers a sign of their vows. All that time spent away from each other so that Aqua could help Kairi must’ve been hard on them both, but at least they’d been reunited again.

“It’s time, Kairi,” Aqua said. “We’re ready to go save Sora.” 

Kairi wiped her eyes and nodded. “Thank you all for supporting us this past year. You don’t know how much it means to me that you did.”

They all smiled and nodded, and their support gave her courage.

“As much as I would like to talk to each of you right now, it’ll have to wait. Sora needs us, and the sooner we get to him, the better.”

There were general nods and murmurs of agreement.

“Time and again, he’s put everything on the line for me. This time, it’s my turn to put everything on the line for him. I’m going to go save my husband, no matter what it takes. Who’s with me?”

Donald and Goofy cheered, and she could feel the energy in the room shift. Everyone seemed more hopeful, more determined. The rest of their friends joined in the cheering, and she couldn’t help but smile. 

“It’s like Sora’s here with us now,” she said softly as she touched her ring.

“No, Kairi, this is all you,” Roxas said, giving her a lopsided grin. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know Sora is with us in spirit… but you’re the one who’s kept our hopes alive all this time. And you’re the one keeping Sora’s hopes alive, too.” 

Kairi smiled and nodded. She could believe that now. Sora hadn’t given up, and she would prove his faith was true. She would never abandon him, and now it was time to return to him.

They gathered their things and she said goodbye to her parents, and it was back to the Play Island. So the portal back to Mare Caelestis had been here all along. Kairi should’ve known. Riku pointed his Keyblade at the spot right in front of the paopu tree where she and Sora had been separated so long ago, and after a few moments, the air in front of them began to shimmer. Kairi’s heart hammered in her chest, and she reached for Naminé’s hand on one side and Xion’s on the other. 

This was it. She was finally going to—

Riku gasped and stumbled backwards a little. “Something’s happening, someone’s trying to close the portal from the other side—”

“Oh no!” Mickey cried, and he jumped to help Riku. Aqua and Terra likewise summoned their Keyblades and pointed them at the portal. Oh, thank goodness. It was shimmering again and even opened a little further. There, that was it. Soon, it would be fully open. They were so close. So close. 

But something was wrong. Riku’s eyes flashed, and a moment later, darkness flooded through the opening. The darkness was so powerful it knocked Riku, Mickey, Aqua, and even Terra backwards. As it reached far enough to brush against Kairi’s hand, something stirred within her. 

“Sora?” 

The darkness swirled around her, sending tingles up and down her spine. Its presence felt so familiar, so… human. Then it was receding, and she cried out and reached for it. “Sora, I’m here, I’m coming for you—”

For a moment, it almost looked like a hand, reaching back. Her fingers grasped for it, grasped for him, but he was just out of her reach. Then the darkness returned from where it came from, and her chance was gone. The portal closed, and the air in front of them returned to normal. 

The only sound was the waves crashing against the shore and the wind whistling through the trees. The last of the light in the sky was gone, and Kairi felt her legs go out from under her. She sank to the sand and stared blankly at the space in front of her. She was vaguely aware of Riku and the others trying to get the portal open again, and at one point someone even tried to talk to her, but she was too lost in her own world. 

Sora had sealed the portal. He didn’t want them to come for him. Didn’t want her to come for him. He’d given up on himself, on her. On their love. 

Tears welled up in her eyes. How could she blame him, when she’d given up on their relationship before? Curse her own foolish heart for not telling him how she felt soon enough in the way he most needed to hear. Now her final chance was gone. Sora was doomed. She’d never get to see him again. 

_ No,  _ a still, small voice said deep inside of her, and she stopped crying long enough to listen.

_ No,  _ it said, a little louder this time, a little more strongly.  _ You’ve never given up before, and you can’t give up now. Not when hope is needed most.  _

That was true. She hadn’t given up hope when Sora became a Heartless. She’d refused to let him go. And after he’d disappeared right before her very eyes, she hadn’t resigned herself to never seeing him again. This time was no different. She wouldn’t let it be. This was just a temporary obstacle, another step in her journey back to him. 

She wiped her eyes and sniffed. The ring on her finger glinted in the moonlight, and she touched it once more. 

“Sora, please. Listen to me. There’s something I need to tell you, but I need to say it to you in person. And to do that, you have to let me in. You have to let us open the portal.”

She waited for a few moments, but nothing happened. Her head drooped and her heart sank. He wasn’t ready to let her in yet. She’d hoped, there for a moment, that he might, but… 

Well, that didn’t mean she couldn’t reach him. This was just a temporary roadblock. There was still a way forward, and as long as it existed, she would never stop trying to reach Sora. She just had to figure out a way to reach him. 

“Riku?” 

“Yes?” he asked as he turned to face her, looking utterly dejected. 

“Are you sure this is the only way in? There aren’t any other portals?”

He nodded, and Ven said, “Unfortunately, yeah. It’ll take months to build a new pathway. It took months for us to get to you the first time.”

“That’s not good enough,” she said, her voice low but determined. “We have to think of another way.”

“But Kairi, there  _ is  _ no other way,” Naminé said, giving her a pitying look. 

“There’s no way to get there by Gummi Ship?” she asked Mickey and Donald and Goofy, and they just shook their heads. 

She turned to Terra and Aqua. “The Lanes Between won’t work either?”

They also shook their heads. 

“Kingdom Hearts is completely closed off to us right now… unless you want to make a  χ -Blade or ask someone to abuse the Power of Waking,” Xion said grimly. “Otherwise, we’ll have to do what Ven said and make a new portal.”

Kairi knew Sora. She knew he wouldn’t want her to endanger anyone in order to reach him. She’d just have to think of something else. 

“Can’t you just project an illusion of me there, like you did until you could make it there yourselves?” Kairi asked Riku and Aqua and Mickey. That was the impression Naminé had given her, anyway. 

“You could try that,” Axel said, “but would Sora listen? The only way we were able to build the bridge in the first place is because of you. Your heart was in one piece, and you were open to hearing from us. The former definitely isn’t true for Sora right now, and who knows about the latter. I’m gonna go with no, because he basically just slammed a door in our faces. And even if we didn’t have all of that to miraculously overcome, he still wouldn’t be able to make it home without his heart intact.” 

“In other words… it has to be you, Kairi,” Roxas said. “You have to go to him.”

Kairi nodded. “I know. I just… I don’t know how.” 

Riku’s expression softened. “Why don’t you try talking to him?” he said, nodding towards the Secret Place. “Something tells me he might listen to you.”

“In the meantime, we’ll keep searching for a way to reach him,” Mickey said. “Don’t worry. We’re not gonna rest till he’s safe.”

She nodded. “Right. Thank you, everyone.”

With that, she retreated to the Secret Place, feeling her friends’ eyes on her as she did. She could only hope that she wouldn’t let them down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was nice to write the chapter where Kairi was finally reunited with all of her friends, so I hope you all enjoyed it too!
> 
> The next chapter is the darkest chapter of the story and has the violent content and other disturbing content I warned about earlier. Please be sure to check the end notes next week if you want more specific warnings. 
> 
> I hope you're all doing okay, and I'll see you next week!


	39. Captive Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, for the love of everything good in the world, if you're worried at all about the content in this chapter, read the end notes. This chapter has incredibly disturbing content and violence as well as suicidal ideation, and I want people who need the warnings to be properly warned. If you want to just skip the chapter, I'll also include a brief summary of what happens in the end notes.

Even though Sora had ordered his own fate, he was miserable all the same as the night dragged on. His body was cold, stiff, aching all over. Chained to the wall with no blanket or pillow to relieve his discomfort in the hopes that Kairi would live out the rest of her days in comfort. 

When he was younger, he’d figured he’d die in battle. It had nearly happened time and again, and his death after he’d saved Kairi was how he’d imagined he would die. For her he would do anything. And if not dying for her in battle, he’d wanted to live out the rest of their lives together, happily married, with several kids and lots of grandkids, maybe even a few great-grandkids. Then, they’d die peacefully in their sleep as they held each other, together even in death. 

But no, none of that was meant to be. Those were all the musings of a hopeful man, and he was a monster doomed to death. He’d chosen this fate for himself; he’d chosen this prison. He didn’t deserve to be comfortable; he didn’t deserve to be around people. 

His weary eyes flickered to the small, barred window in the corner. He was in the bowels of the castle now, in its deepest dungeon. Buried deep under the earth where all the corpses went to rot. And yet some part of him still longed for the light, longed to be human again. 

A small ray of light from a nearby torch warmed his cheek in a way that was almost like a lover’s caress. Soft and gentle, tender and true. If he closed his eyes he could pretend it was Kairi touching him. But when he opened his eyes again, the futility of that dream couldn’t be more obvious. The light illuminated the truth of his condition, revealed him for the monster he truly was. If she was the light, he was the darkness, and he belonged in the shadows, in the world of shades, in the realm of death. 

How else could he explain the awful claws with tips red as blood, the darkness constantly seeping off of him, his silver hair, his yellow eyes, the wing painfully sprouting from his back, the corruption spreading from his heart to the rest of his body? His true form was that of a monster, and that meant he belonged with the monsters. 

“That’s right, you’re not fit to be with Kairi,” came a voice. His voice. He lifted his head to see the figure in the cell with him. It flickered near the window, drew its form from the damp dungeon walls. It looked better than ever, more real than ever, and Sora’s stomach churned. 

“You stay away from her,” he warned. 

The figure sneered. “Or what, you’ll stop me? Good luck with that. You’re locked up, and all because you chose to be.”

“I’m only doing this to put an end to you,” Sora ground out. That was what his suffering was for. If he could destroy the figure, even if it meant destroying himself in the process… it would be worth it. 

The figure laughed like that was the funniest thing it had ever heard. “What, you think that by killing yourself, you’ll kill me too?”

“Yes. You’re like a parasite, living inside my heart. Without your host, you’ll die.”

“Think again. That might’ve been true before, but your heart is so strong, so good at seeing hearts everywhere, that you’ve given me life, too. I’m as real as you are now.”

A shiver went down Sora’s spine, making him jerk against the chains. A few more feathers fell off of his wing, and they were as black as night. 

“Then why do you keep haunting me?” he asked the figure. “Why can’t the others see you?” 

It walked over and stooped, then put its hand under his chin and forced him to meet its gaze. “You think they can’t? They can, and they will. And you know who I’m most looking forward to seeing?”

Sora knew the answer before the figure said it, but the words were like a punch to his stomach anyway.

“Your wife. Or should I say… my wife.” 

Sora snarled and lunged at the figure, only for the chains to hold him back from attacking it. It just laughed and stood. 

“You can’t stop me. When Kairi returns, I’ll give her your regards.”

“You’ll never fool her! She knows me too well. She knows my heart, and she’ll know yours isn’t the real deal—”

“Ah yes, your heart. She’s going to come running for you once she knows how much agony your heart is in. That is her greatest weakness, her empathy and compassion.” 

The figure summoned Sora’s Keyblade and pointed it right at him, hitting him with a sleep spell. He was so shocked that it could do that that he didn’t even think to defend himself in time. 

“Sleep well, Sora,” it said as he struggled with all his might to ward off the sleep spell. “After your dream, I’m sure she won’t be able to resist… and you will be begging her to come back to put an end to you.”

As his eyelids grew heavy and he drifted off into sleep, the figure told him one last thing, its smile cold and chilling. 

“Don’t you see? I’ve set a trap for her, and you’re the bait.”

* * *

When Sora’s eyes fluttered open, it took a few moments for him to adjust to the bright light. The sounds of music and conversation floated to his ears, and his hand fluttered to his face.

“I’m wearing a mask?” 

Gone were his claws and gone was the wing sprouting from his back. Was it possible he was back to normal?

He glanced around, and the people all around him were dressed in fancy ball gowns and tailored suits, all with masks covering their faces too. None of them seemed to notice anything strange about him, as engrossed as they were in their own conversations and revelries. Their laughter was loud and their spirits were merry as they joked and drank and celebrated.

He made his way over to the refreshments table and stole a glance into the punch bowl. His reflection stared back, one blue eye peeking back at him through the elaborate bird mask he wore. His hair was brown and his body… seemed normal, and yet something felt off about all of this. 

Of course. Kairi wasn’t here. Nothing would ever feel truly normal without her. 

“Kairi? Where are you?” he asked, looking this way and that. But there was no answer to his call; the people around him didn’t try to help him, either. They barely seemed to notice his presence here. 

He wove his way through the crowds, continuing his search for her. But with everyone’s faces disguised, it was hard to find her. Their masks were so similar, too. One person had on a leopard mask, another a snake one. Yet another person had on a unicorn mask, and Sora also noticed people wearing bear and fox masks. But those were the only designs. Every single person here was wearing one of those masks.

And it wasn’t just the masks that were the same. All the people… they were the same five people, repeating endlessly. The same laughs, the same clothes, the same smiles and eyes. He was the only one who was different. He was the only one who was unique. 

His heart sped up as he continued his search, as he waded through the endless sea of repeating people towards the dance floor. Kairi had to be here. She had to.

There. Her red hair stood out against the crowd, and her mask was a bird mask like his own, with one eye covered and the other eye visible. Only it was her right eye that was covered and her left eye that was visible, the opposite of him. She waited on the edge of the dance floor, and he smiled and called out to her. When she looked his way, his heart soared, and he made his way over to her.

“Sora,” she said, her lips curving into a smile. 

“Kairi, I found you—”

A masked stranger came between her and him, and Sora froze. She giggled when the stranger found her hand and kissed it, and Sora felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach.

“Hello, my husband,” she said, words that Sora had only ever wanted to hear directed towards him. “Where have you been?”

“Kairi, what are you talking about?” he cried. “I’m right here!”

The stranger turned around, and Sora’s breath caught. He too was wearing a bird mask with his left eye covered, but his uncovered right eye was gold instead of blue. Was this—

“Oh, I see what the confusion is,” Kairi said with an airy laugh. “This man right here, he’s the real Sora. You’re just an illusion. I can tell by your eye.”

“But I’m not! I’m the real Sora!”

Kairi just shook her head sadly. “For so long I wanted it to be true. I wanted you to go back to how you were before. Then I realized… that was wrong of me. This is who you are now, and I accept you the way you are.”

She smiled at the masked stranger and found his hand.

“No, Kairi, it’s a trap! The guy you’re with now,  _ he’s  _ the illusion! He’s been tormenting me for months now, can’t you see—”

“Enough of this foolish talk,” the stranger said at last, and with a chill Sora recognized his own voice. “Kairi, may I have this dance?” 

“Kairi don’t, please—”

Kairi nodded and allowed the figure to lead her to the dance floor. 

“Kairi, no—” Sora cried as he followed after them and tried to reach her. The figure looked back at him and smiled coldly. 

“Silly bird. Did you really think you could fly with only one wing?”

“Huh?” 

Sora gasped as he felt his wing sprout from his back, and then the whole world tilted sideways. The other people didn’t even seem bothered by this sudden change and continued laughing and talking and dancing as if nothing was wrong. But he lost his footing and fell down, down, down into a pit. His mask fell off, and he landed with a painful thud on his back. 

“Ow.” 

When he struggled to his feet, his wing was gone, but white feathers were scattered all along the ground. His memories were on the feathers, memories of him and Kairi—

He heard a faint moan coming from behind him, and he whirled around. A dimly lit passageway stretched out before him, and a door was at the end of it. There was another moan, louder this time, and he recognized the voice. 

“Kairi?”

He let his feet take him forward, one step at a time. Kairi’s moans and sighs got louder and louder till at last he reached the door. 

“Yes, oh yes—” came her voice through the door. 

A part of Sora didn’t want to know. The other part did. He had no time to decide, however, because the door opened on its own. 

He was greeted with a sight he’d never wanted to see. There was a bed in the room, and on that bed was Kairi, just as he’d suspected. And on top of Kairi was the figure, hovering over her and thrusting into her. Her arms and legs were wrapped around him, and her nails dug into his back as she guided his movements. He grunted as their bodies kept smacking together, as the two of them fucked in a crazed fit of lust. Little better than animals chasing after mindless pleasure at all costs. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open as he sent her over the edge, and he followed soon afterwards, releasing inside of her with a loud groan. 

Bile rose in Sora’s throat as he watched the scene unfold, as he realized that this fraud, this fake, was making Kairi his. Finishing inside of her like he had every right to, like he was her husband instead of Sora. 

His heart pounded in his chest as they calmed down. Kairi touched the figure’s face and smiled, and somehow that was almost worse than what Sora had just seen. It was one thing to witness Kairi having sex with this shadow that had stolen Sora’s identity. That, perhaps, he could forgive, as much as it was splitting his heart in two right now. But watching her let her heart get involved… that betrayal threatened to tear him apart completely.

“Sora,” she said softly, just to make things that much worse. “I love you.” 

Sora felt something deep inside of him break. The three words she hadn’t told him in years. The three words she’d refused to say all of the times he’d made love to her. And now she was saying them without fear, without hesitation, to this fraud, this fake. 

Sobs wracked his entire body as he collapsed to the ground. How could she do this to him? How could she be so cruel? He cursed his miserable existence, cursed himself for loving her, cursed his heart for being so stupid—

The scene before him changed again, and he wiped his eyes and looked up. He was in the throne room, and the fake Sora was seated on his throne. It wasn’t enough that this fraud had stolen his wife; no, he was stealing his kingdom and his title, too. Sora glared at the figure, but the figure just smirked back at him. 

Then Kairi walked in, a smile on her face for the fake Sora, her hand resting over her stomach.

Her hand resting over her stomach.

No, she couldn’t be, how could fate be this cruel—

Sure enough, she was sporting a baby bump. There was no other explanation. Her cheeks were rounder than normal, and she was practically glowing with happiness as she kissed the fraud and sat on her throne next to him. Sora could see it even through her long flowing dress. She bore the child of his enemy, the child Sora had so desperately wanted to father with her instead—

And that was his breaking point. He let out a harsh wail that had built deep inside of him till it burst out of him, as uncontrollable as the darkness pouring out of him now. His hands turned to claws and the darkness spread from his heart to the rest of his body, cloaking it in shadow. His wing sprouted out of his back as he fell deeper into the pit. Fell for ages until he’d forgotten what it felt like not to fall anymore. He was cold and numb all over, like someone had dropped him into a bucket of ice water. His claws were stiff and his back was killing him and his legs ached and his heart throbbed. He was sinking even further into the darkness, and yet there still wasn’t an end to it, a bottom to this abyss. 

“Light… I need light…” 

Without it, he would die. There was a hunger deep inside of him, different from the hunger gnawing away at his empty stomach. The new hunger craved the light more than anything, drove him to seek it out till it was satiated. 

There, in the distance, floating far above him. A light shone in the darkness. 

“Kairi?” he said weakly. 

The light grew closer and closer. It was so bright it nearly blinded him, and he raised his claws over his face to protect it. There was a great flash, and then he was tumbling through the air. 

When he opened his eyes again, he was in the hallway near Kairi’s room. A loud thumping noise sounded out, and when he turned his head, he saw Kairi standing there. A light shone from her heart, and she shyly found his claw. 

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. The sound was pounding in his ears.

“Sora,” she said softly. “I’m here. It’s okay.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. You have to leave. Now.”

The veins in her neck pulsed. Blood flowed through them, took it straight to her heart. Her heart full of light. 

“You need this. You need me,” she said as she found his claw again. 

“It hurts so much…” 

“I know.” She led them inside her room. “But this will make it better, I promise.” 

She was lying on the bed now, her heart pumping light through her whole body. He wanted that light. Needed that light. 

A faint smile tugged at her lips. “It’s okay. I know what it is you want. What you need to be whole.”

“Kairi, I can’t—” he protested weakly. The hunger was overpowering his will, and if she didn’t stop him—

“Go ahead,” she said softly. 

He couldn’t help himself. He tore into her chest to get to her heart, to get to her light. There was blood everywhere, coating him and coating her as he sank his teeth into her heart. Her light started to fill him as he greedily drank and ate. This felt incredible, better than he had imagined, the horrible empty ache in his chest was going away at long last—

“Sora,” she said weakly, her voice full of pain. He froze to look at her, his face covered in her blood, his mouth full of her heart, his body filled with her light. She lifted a trembling hand to his cheek and caressed it, getting blood on her hand in the process. 

“Oh no, what have I done,” he moaned, pulling away from her. “How could I do this to you?”

He stared at his handiwork, at the results of his bloodlust and obsession with the light. Kairi winced each time her torn open heart tried to beat, and he tried desperately to summon his magic to do something, anything—

“It’s okay,” she said, resting her hand over his. How could she say that with her chest splayed open, when she was in horrible pain? And yet, despite that pain, she smiled at him. 

“My Sora,” she said, putting her hand behind his head and guiding it back to her chest. “Please… you’re almost there…” she murmured. 

He hated himself for continuing. For doing something he knew was wrong. But the monster inside of him wanted this, and Kairi was urging him to do it. His body acted against his heart and mind, lapping up her light down to the last dregs even as he begged it to stop, please, he couldn’t bear to do this. Not to Kairi, not to his beloved—

When he’d consumed all of her light and the monster was fully sated, he felt her fingers weakly stroke his hair. 

“There,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Now we’ll always be together, just like we promised.” 

He felt a tingling in his back, and when he turned his head to look, a new wing sprouted to join his other one. Kairi’s wing. He looked in her eyes, not wanting to believe what he knew was true. One heart. They shared one heart now, because he’d devoured hers.

“Kairi, no, not like this, I never wanted it to be like this—”

She smiled as her eyes fluttered shut. “Better than never at all. Sleep well, Sora.” 

One last breath escaped her lips, and then she was gone. A wail built deep within him till it tore out of his throat and echoed through the room, through the hall, through the whole castle. 

Kairi was dead, and it was all his fault. 

* * *

Sora’s eyes flew open. He was breathing so hard it was a wonder his lungs hadn’t burst, and his face was streaked with tears as more sobs racked his body. He gagged and retched, but nothing came up but snot and tears. He had to get Kairi’s heart out of him, had to get her light out of him, it didn’t deserve to be there, he had to get rid of it. 

Because he’d killed her. He’d killed her in one of the most heinous ways imaginable. It didn’t matter that she had urged him to do it. He was a murderer, a monster, consuming her heart like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. Someone like him didn’t deserve to live. It was awful enough to eat the flesh of another person, and to consume the heart of the person he loved more than anything—

The only punishment fitting for such a crime was death. 

“Kairi, I’m so sorry, I never wanted to—I never meant to—”

“Sora!” came her voice, sounding distant and far away, but calling out to his heart all the same. “Sora, please, answer me!” 

His heart soared. “Kairi, is that really you?” 

There was a pause, and she said some things he couldn’t quite hear. But then her voice came through to him, loud and clear. “Please, just let me in. Let me help.”

Relief washed over him. It was her, it was really her. What he’d seen had just been a bad dream, forced on him by the darkness. He started crying, he was so happy. She was alive and she was okay, and she could help him end this nightmare. Maybe… maybe all that stuff he’d seen, about her choosing the figure over him… maybe that was fake too. It had to be. She wouldn’t betray him. She was as loyal to him as ever, and he’d been foolish to believe anything the darkness had shown him. 

“Beloved,” he said, the word falling from his lips with more joy and hope and love than he’d felt in a long time.

It all made sense. Light was the answer. No,  _ she _ was the answer. The only thing powerful enough to defeat his darkness was her light. No wonder he hadn’t had much luck trying to do it on his own. And even though asking her for help was risky, she was the one person he knew he could always count on. She could succeed where he had failed. His nightmare wouldn’t come true, he was sure of it, so long as he gave her the chance to do what had to be done.

His claws fluttered to the ring on his left hand. It was horribly painful, too tight and digging into the swollen, tender flesh underneath. But he kissed the ring and lifted his hand all the same till it pointed towards where he knew the sky should be. 

The ring started to glow with light, and he said, “Kairi, I’m opening the portal. The darkness living inside my heart has taken over, and I’m not strong enough to destroy it. But you are. You’ve always been strong, and I know you can defeat it once and for all with the light from your heart.”

He rested his claw over his heart, and his other claw over that claw. Let his eyes close and called out to Kairi. Wished with all that was left of his heart that she would come and do as he asked. 

“Be careful. It will try to disguise itself as me, but I trust you to know the difference. I know you can outsmart it and defeat it.” 

He opened his eyes and glanced at the window in the corner. Was it his eyes playing tricks on him, or was there light shining through? Not just light from the torches, but a far brighter and steadier light.

He smiled sadly. “There’s something else I’d like you to do for me, too,” he said softly. “It’s not just the darkness that’s the problem. I’m corrupt, to my very core. If you let me live, I’ll destroy you, and I can’t bear to let that happen. I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but… once you’ve defeated the darkness, come put an end to me, please.”

There. That was all he could do. All that was left was to wait. Wait for the princess to come and defeat the monster for good. Maybe then he would finally be free, finally be able to rest at last. 

That was how the story would end, and he was ready for its conclusion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Thanks to the figure, Sora has a horrible nightmare which ends with him devouring Kairi's heart at her urging because of his thirst for light. There are mentions of blood and gore, and Kairi dies in the dream. In a different part of the nightmare, Kairi also cheats on him with the figure and becomes pregnant. Again, this all happens in a nightmare inflicted on Sora by the figure in order to push him to the brink (none of it is "real" in the sense of it happening in the reality of the story), but it's disturbing content nonetheless and I wanted to warn for it. In addition, Sora feels suicidal after the nightmare ends, and after he hears the real Kairi's voice calling out to him, he begs her to end him.
> 
> Chapter summary: Sora is imprisoned in the dungeon beneath the castle at his own orders. The figure comes to him and taunts him, revealing it can impact the physical world. It steals his Keyblade and puts him into a deep sleep. While he's asleep he has a nightmare designed to make him break; he sees Kairi choosing the figure over him, witnesses her cheating on him, sees the figure has stolen his throne, and then finds out Kairi is pregnant by the figure. Afterwards, he falls into despair and the nightmare shifts. In this new part of the nightmare, Kairi leads him to her bedroom and urges him to sate his need for the light with the light in her heart. He devours her heart to get her light and kills her in the process, then wakes up from the nightmare wanting to die. After hearing the real Kairi's voice calling out to him, he calls to her for help in defeating the figure and opens the portal again. Then he asks her for one last favor once she finds him: to put an end to him.
> 
> This chapter was a difficult one to write, for obvious reasons. It was the one I warned would be violent and would delve into one of the character's worst nightmares—Sora's. It's a rough read, I know, but things will be uphill from here. I hope you all are doing okay, and I'll see you next week!


	40. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi sighed and rested her head against the cold damp wall of the Secret Place. A tear trailed down her cheek, and she sniffed and wiped it off her face.

“Sora, please, answer me.”

Her hand traced the outline of Sora’s face on the wall as gently as possible lest she wear down the precious drawing. Nothing she or anyone else had done had gotten him to budge. The others had gone to get some rest so they could try again in the morning, but she’d stayed to be as close to him as possible. He was hurting, and he needed help. But he wouldn’t accept their help, and that hurt most of all. No amount of begging and pleading with him had pierced the walls around his heart, but she couldn’t just give up on him. She couldn’t. 

“I haven’t given up on you, you know,” she said as she rested her hand against the drawing’s cheek. “Never have, never will.” Leaning forward, she let her lips brush against the drawing’s forehead, remembering all the times she’d brushed Sora’s bangs away so she could kiss his forehead. He’d always get this soft tender look in his eyes afterwards, especially if she ran her fingers through his hair. 

“You mean everything to me,” she confessed. “Please, just let me in. I want to help. I finally _ can _ help. There’s something important I need to tell you, something your heart is longing to hear. I’m not afraid anymore. What we share, it’s so much stronger than fear.” 

She attempted a smile as she gently traced the drawing again. “I’m here for you, so don’t you dare keep shutting me out. You’ve suffered so much to save me, and now I want to save you once and for all. No more suffering. No more sacrifices. Just the two of us together, living our lives one day at a time like we promised.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Surely that’s not too much to ask of my beloved husband.” 

Her gaze flickered to her ring. It had been a source of comfort to her during their separation, a sign that this was real, that she hadn’t imagined their marriage or the year they’d spent together. She brought it to her lips and kissed it, as had so often become her habit. 

“Sora,” she said softly, allowing her eyes to flutter shut. This was the closest she could get to kissing him, to reaching him, and she willed with all her heart for him to hear her. 

When her eyes opened, her ring looked a little brighter than usual. Strange, it must be her mind playing tricks on her in the dim light of the cavern. She rubbed the ring, and a flash of light pulsed out from it. 

“Huh?” she said as she tilted her head. She tried touching the ring again, and the same thing happened. Could this be a sign? 

She staggered to her feet and stumbled to the entrance of the cavern. The sun was peeking out over the horizon as a new day dawned. She kept her eyes on the ring and its little flashes of light, letting her legs carry her across the beach and through the Seaside Shack to the paopu tree where the portal should be as quickly as possible. 

When she got to it, she took a deep breath. This was it. Would Sora let her in, or was this just her desperate imagination playing tricks on her?” 

She rested her hand over her heart, and her other hand over her ring as she let her eyes close once more. “Sora, my darling, I’m here. I’m listening.” 

Lifting her hand towards the sky, she prayed that this would work. The pulsing in her ring got stronger and stronger, and the air in front of her began to shimmer. Her heart swelled with hope, and her hand trembled, she was so excited. 

“Yes, that’s it—”

“Kairi…”

His voice, his beautiful, precious voice. It sounded tired and weary and pained, but the important thing was that he was alive. 

“Sora—” she cried. Her eyes filled with tears. It was so good to hear his voice, and saying her name, too.

“Put an end to me.” 

She froze. “Put an end to you?” 

Did he really think—he deserved to die? What awful things must’ve happened for him to believe that? What terrible things must he believe about himself? 

This was so much worse than she had feared, the light of her life wanting to die—He mustn't die, she wouldn’t let him die, he was supposed to live, live a life full of happiness and love with her by his side—

“No, I won’t!” she said as she summoned her Keyblade. “I’m coming to save you, Sora, just like I promised!”

She summoned her Keyblade and opened the portal the rest of the way. It took all of her self-control not to immediately jump inside. Instead she called the others on her Gummiphone first. The entire time she spoke with them, her heart was pounding as she silently begged Sora not to hurt himself. 

There. The others knew. They were coming. She could go after Sora at long last. She slipped her Gummiphone back in her pocket and plunged through the portal. 

“Hang in there, Sora, it won’t be much longer!” 

* * *

Kairi was able to hear and smell Mare Caelestis before she could see it. The sea-salt breeze from the ocean, the merchants peddling their wares, the hustle and bustle of a new day dawning—she didn’t realize how much she’d missed this place until she was back. 

As confused and anxious as she’d been when she’d first arrived, she couldn’t deny it had become dear to her heart. All the happy memories she’d made here were a big part of that, both with her old friends and her new friends, but most of all with Sora. Knowing that he’d made this world out of love for her, to express the depths of his devotion to her—how could she not feel emotional upon returning to it? This place was his gift to her. And so she’d returned to win back what was rightfully hers—this kingdom, this world, and most importantly of all, her beloved Sora. 

As she stepped out of the portal and her sight returned, she couldn’t help but gasp. Mare Caelestis was as beautiful as always, but there was a thick gloom hanging in the air. As she wound her way through the streets until she could get a better view, she soon saw why. 

The castle was shrouded in darkness. Sora’s pain, his despair—she could sense it emanating out of the castle and slowly spreading outwards towards the surrounding town. 

How long had he been allowed to suffer for things to get this bad? What had happened? Would all of Mare Caelestis be engulfed in his sorrow at this rate? Would this finally stop once he was safe?

Well, only one way to find out. She had to get inside of the castle. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. She could do this. She had to do this. Her friends would be here soon to join her, and until they arrived, she had work to do. 

The path to Cornelia and Julia’s little house was one she knew well, and it didn’t take long before she was knocking on their door. 

“Dearie!” Cornelia cried as she opened the door. She swept her up into her arms, and soon Julia was joining them, sandwiching Kairi between her and her sister as they fussed over Kairi and demanded to know where she had been and how she was doing.

“I’m sorry to have worried you,” Kairi said. “I know… I left really suddenly—”

“Well, you’re back now, and that’s what matters, love,” Julia said. “Now, come in, come in. No one’s been wanting to go out at all this morning, not with the castle looking as spooky as it does.” 

“How long has it been like that?” Kairi asked as she followed the sisters into the kitchen and they had her sit down at the table. It was nice to be back here, especially compared to how things were outside. Their house was still as cozy and comforting as it had been the day she’d first woken up here. 

“Well… something’s felt ‘off’ about the castle ever since you disappeared,” Julia explained. “Everyone feels weird going near it, like something's watchin’ you if you do. Gives me the creeps.”

“Yeah, and at night they say you can hear a ghost wailin’ for its lost love. So people think the castle’s haunted now, too,” Cornelia said as she poured Kairi a cup of tea. 

“The castle’s haunted by a ghost?” Kairi asked with a frown. 

“Personally, I think it’s a load of hogwash,” Julia said with a roll of her eyes. “Any human here would be considered a ghost by the Realm of Light’s standards as it is. So whatever that ‘ghost’ is is not so different than any of us.” 

“It’s Sora, isn’t it?” Kairi said sadly. “He’s the reason the castle seems so off, too. I’m sure of it.”

“Well, if you say so, dearie,” Cornelia said. “But one thing’s for sure: after His Majesty agreed to be taken away and locked up—”

“He _ what_?!” Kairi cried, nearly dropping her tea. The thought of him locked up somewhere, all alone with his thoughts, with his darkness, alone and in pain with no one to comfort him—

“It was Diana,” Julia said grimly. “She baited him into attacking her. All so she could make her little power play. And now he’s in the castle dungeons, locked up like some kind of criminal. All because he did what we all wanted to do and put his hand around that idiot’s neck.” 

Kairi frowned. She hadn’t considered Lady Diana in all of this. The thought that there might be yet another obstacle to reaching Sora made her want to tear her hair out. And… he had attacked Lady Diana with his bare hands? That didn’t sound like him at all. 

“Don’t worry, she’s perfectly fine now,” Cornelia muttered. “Can keep talkin’ like you wouldn’t believe.”

“But even she’s afraid now,” Julia said. “Saw her at the town square after my early morning grocery run, and she was ranting and raving about how he was back on the throne.” Julia chuckled. “Sounds like he kicked her out. Good for him.” 

“But Julia, if he’s locked up, how could he—”

Julia shrugged. “Beats me. But His Majesty is a resourceful man, and a powerful one to boot. I’m sure he got out of the dungeon somehow and is taking care of himself just fine.” 

“If so, then… why is the castle still surrounded by darkness?” Kairi said. If Sora was really okay, then why had he begged her to put an end to him?

None of this was adding up. She was missing something, something big, something important—

Her Gummiphone made a little notification noise. Riku was here, and that meant the others probably were too. 

“Julia, Cornelia, thank you for your help,” she said as she stood. “Thank you for updating me on what’s been happening.” 

“Of course, dearie,” Cornelia said with an affectionate smile. “You know you’re always welcome in our home.”

“Now I know you’re off to find more clues,” Julia said as they saw Kairi to the door, “and nothing we can say will stop you, but please, be careful. Something about this whole thing doesn’t feel right.”

Kairi nodded. “I know. I’ll keep my guard up, trust me. My other friends are here, and they’ll be helping me too.”

“Anything we can do to help?” Cornelia asked. 

“Stay safe,” Kairi said. “Maybe warn the townspeople to stay away from the castle until all of this is over.”

“And how will we know when it’s over?” Julia asked. 

“When the skies are clear again,” Kairi said softly. “When the sun shines brightly in the heavens above with no darkness to shroud it.” Her thoughts went to Sora, and she smiled sadly. “When the king’s eyes are their natural blue and his heart is restored to rights. Then, and only then, will you know it’s over.” 

Julia nodded, then added, “And what about you, love? What’s in it for you?”

“Getting my beloved husband back. Seeing his smile and telling him something I should’ve told him long ago.”

“You’ll know what to say, when the time is right,” Julia said softly, and Kairi nodded.

“Godspeed, Kairi,” Cornelia said. “We’re rootin’ for you.”

With that, Kairi said goodbye and left the little house to find her friends. Whatever had happened to Sora, she would find him and she would rescue him.

* * *

When Kairi made it back to the portal in the side street, her friends were there waiting for her. Riku, Aqua, and Mickey were back in their Octavius, Alma, and Dr. Valens disguises, but everyone else just looked like themselves, albeit in their battle clothes with their weapons only a flick of the wrist away. Donald and Goofy were staring at Mickey’s human disguise, and something about their funny reactions put Kairi’s heart at ease.

“You made it. Thank goodness,” she said as she stopped to catch her breath. They were all here to help Sora, and they would succeed. They had to. 

“Of course we did,” Roxas said with a grin. “You showed us the way.” 

“This place is beautiful,” Naminé said as she glanced around them. “I know I saw it in your memories and Sora’s memories, but it’s another thing altogether to see it in person.”

“Yeah. Something about this world… I can tell that it’s special,” Ven said.

Xion smiled and nodded. “Sora made it for you, didn’t he?”

“He did,” Kairi said. “But now his grief and pain are overwhelming the castle, and I’m afraid it might overtake this world. Or worse, overtake all of Kingdom Hearts.”

“We won’t let that happen,” Aqua said. “We’ll help you get to him, Kairi.”

Terra nodded. “Tell us what we need to do.”

Kairi filled them in on the latest intel she’d gathered from Cornelia and Julia, giving them every detail she could remember. Then she gave them a rough plan of attack, and the others chimed in as necessary to help hone their strategy. Satisfied they had as good a plan as any, they were about to leave when she hesitated. There was one thing that still felt wrong. One thing that still wasn’t adding up.

“There is… one potential flaw in the plan,” she admitted to them. 

“What is it?” Mickey asked with a frown.

“I don’t know where exactly Sora is. Apparently, he’s been imprisoned, but Lady Diana says she saw him on the throne.”

Riku scoffed. “You trust her to tell the truth?” 

“In this case… yes. I don’t think she was lying. All she’s wanted, ever since she was a child, was to rule. Why would she admit to Sora ousting her? Wouldn’t she be more likely to pretend it hadn’t happened?” 

“Take it from a former professional liar,” Axel said as he put a hand on her shoulder. “Kairi’s spot on. This ‘Lady Diana’ would never admit to losing power if she thought she still had a chance at keeping that power. Sounds like Sora is in control of the situation.” 

“Gawrsh, if that’s true, then… why is the castle all dark?” Goofy said as he peered at it.

“That’s what I was thinking,” Kairi said, relieved to hear that someone else had noticed how off all of this felt. “If Sora’s okay… why is the castle oozing darkness? Why… why did he ask me to put an end to him?”

“He _ what_?!” Riku demanded, his eyes going wide. 

Kairi fought back tears as she recounted how she’d heard his desperate plea. All of the worry she’d kept locked up inside for days spilled out of her, all at once. All the fear and anguish, all the pain of losing him—

“Okay, no more time to waste,” Ven said. “We’ve gotta get you to the castle, Kairi.”

“Agreed,” Aqua said. “It’s okay that we don’t know where exactly he is right now, or what state he’s in. So long as we get you to him, Kairi, I know everything will be okay.” 

Naminé smiled and nodded. “Your heart will take care of the rest.” Her eyes fluttered shut as she rested her hand over her heart. “Kairi, I can sense his heart now. It’s shrouded in darkness, and it’s hard for me to tune into him… but… he’s longing to see you. He misses you so much.” Her eyes opened, and they were misty. “But he’s also scared. There’s so much fear in his heart, and I don’t know why.”

“Fear? What is he afraid of?” Kairi asked with a frown, then looked at the castle. She thought about how Sora had stuck by her through thick and thin. How he’d patiently waited for her to open her heart up to him. Whatever it was that was haunting him, she’d banish it, once and for all.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said as she clenched her fist. “I’ll get him back, once and for all.”

The others nodded, and with that, they set off for the castle. The streets were still relatively empty; they didn’t really pass anyone till they got to the town square. Leftover decorations from the autumn festival and parade still hung around, but the place was so empty compared to how things usually were. Then there were a few whispered “Queen Kairi?”s and “Her Majesty?”s, but Kairi ignored them. She had one goal in mind, and she wasn’t going to stop until she reached it. 

As they got closer to the castle, the darkness in the air got thicker. Not so thick that they couldn’t see, but thick enough that Kairi noticed it. And when they reached the entrance to the drawbridge, several guards were watching over it, including the formally demoted Janus. 

“Janus,” she said, calmly, evenly, as she let her hood fall from her hair. His mouth dropped open, and she had to fight a smile. “I have returned from my visit to my home world, and I’m anxious to see my husband the king. I bring with me my friends, the court physician Dr. Valens, my lady-in-waiting Alma, and, of course, the captain of the guard Octavius, who can take things over for you from here.” 

Sweat trickled down Janus’s face, and he had gone quite pale, but he refused to budge. 

“What’s wrong?” Kairi said sweetly. “Could it be that you are under orders from a rogue agent?”

“I—Queen Diana—”

“_Lady _Diana,” Kairi corrected. “There is only one queen in this realm, and it’s the wife of His Majesty King Sora. It’s me.” 

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty,” Janus finally said, and Kairi relaxed and smiled serenely.

“Very good, Janus.” She nodded at Riku and the others, then kept talking to Janus. “I appreciate your cooperation in this matter. Dr. Valens can relieve you of your post—”

“Dr. Valens?” Janus said, tilting his head.

“Oh yes, Dr. Valens is a mighty warrior as well as a great healer,” she said, and she saw Mickey’s mouth twitch. “But as I was saying, he will stand guard for us here, and you will continue on with us.” 

“And as captain of the guard,” Riku said as he addressed the rest of the guards, in a manner that was entirely too smug, “I order you to follow Dr. Valens’ orders.”

“Yes, Captain,” the other guards said, and one of them even broke protocol and said, “It’s good to have you back, Sir.” 

Kairi breathed a sigh of relief. That part was easier than she’d been expecting. She owed a lot to Riku here. It was a good thing he’d so carefully cultivated the other guards’ respect. 

“Now, Janus,” she said, her voice as sweet as honey and as smooth as silk as they continued on across the drawbridge sans Mickey. She could’ve sworn that her whole queenly act was amusing her friends greatly, based on their twitching lips and glances at each other, but she knew how to play this role now, and nothing would crack it. “Do tell me what’s happened to His Majesty.”

“He, well, er—”

“I promise I won’t fire you for telling the truth."

Janus relaxed a little as they drew closer to the portcullis, “Yesterday, at the festival, His Majesty, er, had an outburst—”

“An outburst?” 

“He… attacked Qu—I mean, Lady Diana.” 

Kairi raised an eyebrow. “He attacked her out of the blue?”

“Well, she… she said things that—seem to have aggravated him—”

“What things?” 

She was determined to get as much of the story as possible. 

“She taunted him over his grief. She mocked him over his devotion to you. And… she told him you’d abandoned him. All while… all while she was dressed as you.” 

Kairi was seeing red now. How dare Diana do such a thing. How _ dare _she. When Kairi finally reached that nitwit, she was going to wring her stupid neck—

“Kairi, easy there,” Xion said softly, resting a hand on her arm. Kairi took a few deep breaths and tried to calm herself, but it was hard to get her heart to stop racing and to make the roaring in her ears go away. 

“My apologies for my temper,” Kairi ground out, because Janus was shrinking away from her. “Thank you for telling me the truth. What happened after that?”

“His Majesty asked us… to take him away and lock him up in the dungeon.” 

“And you followed his orders?”

“It’s what he wanted, Your Majesty. Before we made it back to the castle, though, he did a strange thing. He asked us to release him momentarily, so he could… close something.” 

“The portal,” Kairi said grimly. “So it was him. I really did feel his heart, when we were fighting to keep the portal open. But then… why did he open it back up again for us this morning?” 

Janus just looked at her with a very confused expression on his face. 

“No matter,” she said, slipping the queenly mask back on. “And so after that, you took him to the dungeon?”

“Yes, and chained him to the wall and locked him inside. It was on his orders, Your Majesty,” he quickly added.

“So he thinks he’s a threat.” That lined up with his plea to put an end to him. But it made Kairi’s heart sink all the same. He’d sentenced himself to imprisonment, to pain and discomfort and misery. No wonder his situation had gotten so much worse. 

She cleared her throat, curious about one last thing. “I heard a report that Lady Diana saw him on the throne this morning.”

Janus gave her a shocked look. “Your Majesty truly has eyes and ears everywhere—”

“Enough with the flattery. Can you confirm or deny that His Majesty was back on his throne this morning?”

Janus hesitated. “I… I do not know. Lady Diana told me so, but I did not see the sight with my own eyes.” 

“And where is Lady Diana now?” Kairi asked as they stopped in front of the portcullis. The grille was raised, which seemed odd in light of the fact that she probably wanted to keep people out of the castle. 

“Here, Your Majesty,” Janus said. Diana stepped out from behind the archway door, and her eyes were icy cold, her head held up high in the air. Kairi’s hand went into a fist at her side, and it was all she could do not to clock Diana in the face right then and there. Here was the woman who had been such a thorn in her side for so long, who had made Sora suffer and had mocked his pain.

“So, I see the false queen has returned,” Diana said with a sneer. 

“The true queen, you mean, here to be reunited with the true king,” Kairi ground out. It was a good thing she had her friends with her to hold her back. “Donald, Goofy, guard this portcullis for me, will you?” she said, but her voice cracked a little on the words.

“Sure thing,” Goofy said, and Donald nodded. 

“You will do no such thing,” Diana snapped. “This castle is mine. I’m queen now.”

“No, you’re not,” Kairi said. She had hoped to get more information out of Diana about Sora’s whereabouts, but that seemed pointless at this point. 

“I made a grave mistake last October,” Diana said. “I underestimated His Majesty’s devotion to you. I wanted to kill you and let him live, but the lovesick fool rushed in to save you, risking his own neck in the process.” Her green eyes glinted cruelly, and a horrible smile spread across her face. “I should’ve killed you both while I still had the chance.” 

“ENOUGH.” 

Kairi’s Keyblade had appeared in her hand and was now at Diana’s throat. For the first time, Kairi finally spotted a hint of fear in her eyes.

“It’s bad enough that you threatened me and tried to kill me,” she said, her voice low. “It’s bad enough that you’ve done nothing but tear me down, ever since we met. But even then, I might’ve forgiven you. Not forgotten what you did, but I could’ve let it go and moved on with my life. But I can never, ever forgive you for threatening Sora’s life. For taunting him in the midst of his pain, for being so cruel and heartless to him.”

Diana laughed. “Me, heartless? Look at this castle, you fool. He’s the one who’s heartless. He has been since he arrived here, and now he finally looks like the monster he is inside.”

“No,” Kairi said. “The only monster here is you. Now get out.”

“I won’t!” Lady Diana shrieked, even though Kairi had taken a step forward and she had taken a step back. “I’m the queen! I’m what the people need in times like these!”

Kairi shook her head. “No, you’re not. You’re just a pathetic fool, grasping at power but not understanding what it means to truly deserve that power and use it wisely.”

“And you deserve that power?”

“No, I don’t actually. The one who deserves that power, he earned it through all his sacrifices. And he shared it with me, out of love. He gave it to me as a gift. And because of that, because of him, I’m the true queen. Move over, peasant.” 

Kairi stared Diana down for a few more seconds, her Keyblade still at her throat, and finally, at long last, Diana stepped aside. Kairi lowered her weapon. She couldn’t even feel all that triumphant at finally facing her down like this and winning, knowing that had added even more time to Sora’s suffering. 

“Kairi, may I?” Aqua asked. 

“Yes, you may.”

Aqua bound Diana to one of the walls with golden chains from her Keyblade, and while she did it in a businesslike manner, there was a slight hint that she was taking pleasure in what she was doing, the way her lips twitched.

“Donald, Goofy, please watch over the portcullis and Diana for me. Make sure she doesn’t escape,” Kairi said.

“We’re on it!” Donald said, and Goofy summoned his shield.

“A dog and a duck will be my prison wards? How humiliating!” 

Donald summoned his staff, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “A dog and a duck that can do this!” 

There was a poof of smoke, and a moment later, Diana was gone. In her place was a ferret in a very secure cage, hissing and screeching. Donald had very thoughtfully supplied her with food, water, and comfortable bedding, which was more than what Sora had gotten from the sounds of it. 

“There we go, now she can’t annoy us with her blatherin’ anymore,” Goofy said. 

“Hey, it’s not so bad,” Ven said as he stooped to be at eye level with her. “I once got shrunken down till I was really small, and this princess I met thought I was a mouse! You’ll be out of there before you know it, we just have to make sure Sora’s safe.” 

“Exactly,” Donald squawked. “I’ll turn her human again when all of this is over and you’re ready to deal with her again, Kairi. Now hurry up and go find Sora!” 

Kairi didn’t have to be told twice. The group continued on, now without Donald and Goofy as well as Mickey. The darkness was getting thicker and thicker the closer they got to the Keep, and once they’d reached the inner portcullis, Kairi asked Xion and Axel to stay and hold it, just in case Diana had any contingency plans if the guards loyal to her didn’t hear from her. 

Finally, at long last they were inside the castle grounds. No one was outside, and an eerie wind had picked up as darkness swirled through the air. 

“Where to now, Kairi?” Roxas called over the wind. The Keep towered nearby, but the dungeon wasn’t in the Keep, and Kairi had to make a decision. Was Sora still in the dungeon, or was he in the throne room?

The source of the darkness… seemed to be coming from the Keep, but she sensed something that felt like Sora coming from the dungeon, too. 

The darkness was greater in the Keep, that much she could tell. Perhaps… Perhaps it would be better to check there first. 

“Roxas, Ven,” she called. “You both have powerful light magic. Please, guard the Keep as we go inside, and hold back the darkness as much as you can!”

“We’re on it !” Ven cried as he summoned his Keyblade, and Roxas joined him.

“Naminé, I can sense Sora in both the dungeon and the Keep, and I don’t know where he is,” Kairi said. “Can you tell?”

Naminé pressed her hands together as the wind whipped through her hair. “The darkness is so great here that I… I can’t reach him. I’m having a hard time pinpointing where his heart is, too. Something feels very, very wrong. Please, Kairi, be careful.” 

“I will. Terra, guard Naminé as she checks the dungeon. Aqua, Riku, come with me.” 

Kairi watched for a moment as Naminé took off and Terra followed after her, then set off with Riku and Aqua. The wind was so strong that they were barely able to make it to the entrance to the Keep. Aqua had to resort to casting barriers around all of them for them to make it to the door, then they had to blast it open with Aero magic. 

But at long last, they had tumbled inside, and the door slammed shut behind them. The balcony above them looked as splendid as ever. Everything was just as she had left it. But it was quiet, way too quiet.

“Sora?” Kairi said softly. She looked at her ring again, but there were no clues from it this time. 

“C’mon, let’s check the throne room,” Riku said, resting a hand on her shoulder, and Kairi nodded.

“But be on your guard,” Aqua warned. “Naminé’s right. Something about this doesn’t feel right.” 

The three of them continued on, with Riku in front, Kairi in the middle, and Aqua holding up the rear. Their footsteps echoed through the halls, and a gnawing feeling built in Kairi’s stomach. Had everyone left the Keep? Why was it so empty?

They were almost to the main entrance to the throne room when Riku suddenly stopped. Kairi nearly ran into him, and he held his hand up. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

He frowned and tilted his head back. “Do you sense that?”

“Sense what?”

Kairi jumped in the air as Aqua’s cry shocked her. A moment later, black smoke wafted up from where Aqua’s Keyblade had connected with the floor. 

“Enemies of darkness!” she panted. “But not Heartless, they can’t be Heartless—” 

Kairi gasped as more of them floated out of the walls and made their way towards her. Could these… could these be the ghosts people were so scared of?

“Kairi… Kairi…” they whispered in unearthly voices, and her heart pounded in her chest and shivers went down her spine. Her Keyblade appeared in her hand and she took a deep breath. No time to think, just act.

“Kairi, no,” Aqua said. “This isn’t your fight. These… these _ things, _I know what they are now. A heart that is despairing, a heart that has hit rock bottom, is what creates them. Not on purpose, not to hurt anyone else, just because… it hurts too much to keep all the feelings trapped inside.”

“So they’re like Unversed, then,” Riku said grimly, and Aqua nodded.

“Then shouldn’t I fight them?” Kairi said as she realized with mounting horror that their voices sounded like Sora’s. “It’s because of me that Sora is despairing—”

“No. It’s because you’re apart from each other that he’s despairing,” Aqua said. “If you’re reunited, these creatures will go away.”

“It’s okay, Kairi,” Riku said as he zapped the first round with Thunder magic. “We can handle this. We’ll keep these things away from you. You have to get to Sora.”

She nodded. “Right.” 

“Go with our protection,” Aqua said, then cast several different buffing spells on her as Riku cast Stop magic to buy her time. She raced past them to the doors of the throne room, then, taking a deep breath, pushed them open.

“Sora, please be here—”

Her thoughts went back to the first time she’d seen the throne room. How it had awed and amazed her with its splendor and beauty and majesty. And her thoughts went back to the last time she’d been in here, how she and Sora had entered as king and queen and left as princess and knight, as husband and wife. This was the place where they’d made so many memories together, and it was fitting that this was the place they would meet again.

He was seated on his throne, dressed in all his royal clothes with his crown perched on his head. His scepter was in his hand, and a smile spread across his face when their eyes met. Even from here she could tell they were their rightful blue, and his hair was brown again. 

The door closed behind her with a loud thud, and he extended his hand to her. 

“Welcome home, my queen.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Kairi worries about how Sora seems to want to die.
> 
> Hopefully this chapter was a welcome relief from some of the previous ones! That cliffhanger is a little mean though, I'll admit, but I'm looking forward to sharing the next few chapters with you all. I hope you're doing okay, and I'll see you next week!


	41. Wait for Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

Kairi couldn’t tear her eyes away from Sora. 

Here he was, the very picture of health and grace, casually lounging on his throne like he didn’t have a care in the world. His eyes were blue and his hair was brown, and it really wasn’t fair, how even her most vivid memories couldn’t do justice to the man before her now. 

How she’d missed him. Missed his smile, missed his laughter, missed the twinkle in his eyes, missed his warmth. Compared to some of their previous separations, this one hadn’t lasted anywhere near as long, but each hour they’d been apart had been miserable. 

And yet… and yet… the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. The vision before her now almost seemed too good to be true, and as much as she wanted to take his outstretched hand, she had to make sure that this was real. That it wasn’t a dream or an illusion.

“Sora,” she said at last, when she’d found her voice, but she stayed put. A frown flickered across his beautiful face, and she almost regretted her cautious manner.

“Kairi,” he said, and hearing her name, spoken with his dear, precious voice, made her want to take a step closer.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Haven’t you missed me as much as I’ve missed you? Don’t you long to hold me in your arms?”

Her hand twitched at her side. “I do, more than anything… but I have to make sure—”

“Make sure of what?” 

“That you’re… who you say you are.”

His face drooped, and watching his mood dampen made hers dampen along with it. “Is your heart still blind to love? Surely you can tell that it’s me, your husband.” 

He rose from his throne, slowly, deliberately, and descended the steps. She found herself drawn to him, and her feet carried her forward till they met halfway. He looked at her for a moment, almost shyly, then offered his hand again. She finally took it, and it was cold. 

“See?” he said. “This is real. We’re finally together again.” 

She chewed her lip. Sora’s hands were always warm. Something was wrong. But she couldn’t tip off… whatever _ this _ was… too soon.

“Yes,” she said as she plastered on her most serene smile. “I’m sorry it took me so long to return to you, my king. I can only imagine how deeply your heart must have suffered in my absence, because my heart also mourned the absence of yours.” 

“Nevermind all that, we’re together again, and that’s what matters,” he said as he returned her smile. Something about it was off, though. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, and the dead look in them made her skin crawl. She’d take his yellow darkness-corrupted eyes, because at least they were still filled with emotion, over these empty mockeries of Sora’s real eyes any day. 

“And you’re okay now?” she said as she carefully removed her hand from his grip. “No more darkness? No more pain?”

“Your light fixed everything, Kairi. And when I’m with you, I never feel any pain.” 

She forced another smile because his words rang false. Sora had never made such a claim. He’d even told her that he knew she would hurt him again, but that he was willing to take the risk. Because he loved her. Because he trusted her to apologize and make amends when she’d wronged him, much like she trusted him to apologize and make amends when he’d wronged her.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said as she combed her brain for ideas about what to do next. If this wasn’t the real Sora, then that meant… the real Sora must still be locked up in the dungeon. And if he was, who… or what… was this? It looked like Sora, it said a few Sora-like things, and it even had some of Sora’s mannerisms. But it was a pale imitation of the real thing. Perhaps it could convince someone who hardly knew him, someone like Diana, but it could never fool Kairi. 

She glanced at the doors. She had to get out of here and back to Riku and Aqua.

“Everything okay?” the fake Sora asked, and when she met his eyes again, something unsettling flickered through his. 

“Oh, everything’s fine, I just figured we should let Riku and Aqua know you’re okay.” 

He pouted, and Kairi’s stomach churned. It was so strange, seeing this thing wear Sora like a mask, putting his face through Sora-like expressions when it so clearly wasn’t Sora. 

“We’ve just been reunited and you don’t want to spend even a few moments alone together?” he said.

“I just… want to let our friends share in our joy—”

He took a step forward, and she took one back. “What’s wrong, my queen?”

She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart as he kept backing her into a corner. She was now too far from any of the doors to make a run for it, and so she did the only thing she could do when cornered: summon her Keyblade.

The fake Sora frowned as his eyes flickered from her weapon to her face. “You’re drawing your Keyblade on your own husband?”

“What did you say to me, right before you disappeared?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Hmmm?”

“I said, what did you tell me after you rescued me, when we were spending our final moments together on the paopu tree?”

His face eased into a smile. “My queen, don’t be ridiculous—”

“Beloved. The real Sora calls me beloved, and he would know what he told me that day. You’re not my Sora.”

The fake’s eyes darkened, and Kairi could sense it now, sense the darkness roiling inside of him. “You’re not an easy one to fool, are you?”

She shook her head and grinned. “Nope, never have been. Now move out of the way. I need to leave.”

“I can’t let you do that,” he said, and his voice was dangerously calm despite the stormy look in his eyes.

“Oh, I wasn’t asking permission. I will be taking my leave, whether you want me to or not.”

“You’ll have to fight me first. If I can’t have you, then neither can he.”

She had to laugh. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. I swore an oath to Sora, and nothing is going to stand in the way of me getting my husband back. Even if it means fighting you. I don’t know what you are, exactly, or where you came from, but I’ll—” 

The fake Sora summoned his Keyblade, and Kairi gasped. It wasn’t an imitation of the Kingdom Key, it _ was _the Kingdom Key.

“I _ am _Sora,” he said. “I’m his grief, his fear, his anger. I’m his darkness and suffering and pain. I’m all the parts of him he couldn’t bear to keep locked up inside his heart anymore.”

“No, that can’t be true—”

“It is. Sure, all of his darkness got mixed up with the darkness from the black box, but it combined into something new! He made me real!”

She gritted her teeth. Of course. She wasn’t just dealing with Sora’s darkness here; she was dealing with whatever malevolent entity from the black box had been living inside of him for over a year now, too. And Sora’s powers were so strong that perhaps he _ had _ given consciousness to this… this _ thing _somehow—

“I can see that,” she ground out as her grip on her Keyblade tightened. 

The fake Sora grinned. “Oh, before you fight me, you should know one more thing.”

“What?” she said, hating herself for rising to the bait.

“Your precious Sora wants to die.”

“All because of you!” she snapped. “You filled him with more darkness than he could ever hope to bear on his own! You stole the light in his heart!”

The fake Sora laughed, and Kairi hated how it sounded. It was such a mockery of Sora’s natural laughter, so full of scorn and derision.

“Oh my sweet princess,” he said at last, his eyes full of mirth. “_You _stole the light in his heart. Don’t you remember?”

“He gave me his light because you stole mine. And now I know you have a part of his heart imprisoned inside you. It’s not the happy parts. It’s not his joy or his smile or his delight. But he needs the sad parts to be whole just as much as he needs the other parts. I have to return them to him. Now give them back!”

“Make me.”

Kairi’s Keyblade collided with his, and the sound rang out throughout the throne room. For the first time in her life, she felt Sora’s full strength as the fake threw his entire weight behind the guard and pushed her back. She dove into a roll to avoid his next blow, but as soon she was on her feet again, he was there to greet her. 

“You really think you can defeat me?” he said.

She glared at him. She didn’t want Riku’s warning to be true; didn’t want to think she’d underestimated how daunting a foe Sora could be when he wasn’t holding back. 

“I know I can!” 

She threw her Keyblade so she could warp to an area closer by the main doors, but the fake Sora was quick. He got there a moment before she did and caught her Keyblade, leaving a smoky trail in his wake. 

“Beat you to the punch,” he said with a grin, and she put a barrier around herself right before he landed a blow with both her Keyblade and his. The Keyblades collided with the barrier and sent him staggering backwards from the blowback. But he recovered before she could retaliate and evaded her easily.

So began their strange dance across the throne room with its beautiful starry ceiling and its walls lined with paintings of hundreds of worlds. Every time she got close to one of the sets of double doors, he was there, stopping her from escaping. Every time she was about to land a blow on him, he blocked her easily. She groaned once she saw her attempts were getting her nowhere, but he simply laughed at her frustration. 

When she tried to use magic, he retaliated with darkness-tainted magic that she had to dodge and counteract with her light. This was the kind of darkness that could do serious damage, and it was taking all of her effort to hold out against it. Clearly, this wasn’t working. She’d have to try something else. 

But what else could she do? She wasn’t as strong as Sora physically, and he was as good a mage as she was. About the only advantage she had right now was her light, but his darkness was doing a good job of canceling that out. She hated to admit it, but in a fair fight, she was at a serious disadvantage. 

The key phrase was “in a fair fight.” 

Time to play dirty. Fighting the fake Sora might not be the answer. But perhaps appealing to the part of Sora trapped inside the fake was. Maybe that would distract him long enough for her to disarm and defeat the fake. 

She warped over to his throne and sat down. She was already winded, so it was a nice respite from everything. 

“Enough is enough,” she said as she caught her breath. “I don’t want to fight you anymore.” She put on her most pleading face as he gazed at her. “Please, Sora. It doesn’t have to be like this.” 

Now to see if he would take the bait. 

He stopped and lowered his Keyblade a few steps away from her. “Kairi, what are you doing, sitting on my throne?”

“You gave it to me, remember? The last time we made love.” She imagined she was speaking to the real Sora and allowed herself a small smile. “That was one of the best nights of my life, darling.”

His eyes widened and his lips parted. A flicker of real emotion, perhaps? His hand even fluttered to his heart, and— 

No, she wouldn't let herself get distracted. This fake was getting in the way of the real Sora and keeping a part of his heart trapped inside of it. Now was her chance. She lunged forward and struck the fake’s arm, making him drop his Keyblade completely.

He cried out, and it felt like someone had punched her in the gut. Even though this was just a fake Sora… it still hurt to see him hurting.

She hesitated, and that hesitation gave him the time he needed to retaliate. He summoned the darkness and sent it slamming into her, and she gasped as it knocked the wind out of her and made her go flying. She landed on the floor with a painful thud, and tears stung her eyes from the impact.

What was she supposed to do? Riku and Aqua weren’t here. This fake Sora was attacking her. The real Sora—

The real Sora. She looked at her ring. Maybe… maybe it could connect her to him again. 

She brought her shaking hand to her lips and kissed the ring. “Sora, my darling, I need your help. This Sora I’m facing now, it has a part of you inside it, and that must mean you can feel it. You must be connected to it. Please, make it stop hurting me.”

When she’d healed herself and sat up, she could see that the fake Sora was cradling his injured arm. Of course. Without any light magic, he wouldn’t be able to heal himself. 

What was more… he hadn’t moved from where he’d attacked her, and he wasn’t attacking her again. Maybe—

“Sora?” she said, and their eyes met. His were uncertain, unsure, and then—

“I’ll make you pay for this,” he growled, and the Kingdom Key appeared in his left hand. So much for that. His left hand might not be his dominant hand, but he had dual-wielded weapons for years, and he’d still be able to fight her effectively if not quite as expertly as before. 

He did rely on the darkness more as he attacked her this time and less on physical attacks to make up for the loss of his dominant hand. So she drew on her light to protect herself, to guard, to heal… but she couldn’t bring herself to hurt him again. She just couldn’t. Hurting this fake might mean she would hurt the real Sora, and she couldn’t bear the thought. 

“Sora, please, answer me!” she cried as her light collided with the fake Sora’s darkness yet again. As she watched the light and darkness press against each other, she wondered if he would yield first, or if she would be forced to. 

“He can’t hear you,” the fake Sora said. “He’s too far gone. Lost in his own despair.” 

“No! Sora would never give up hope!”

The fake Sora raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Check this out!”

Kairi shielded her eyes as the fake Sora struck the ground with his Keyblade. The throne room dissolved, and in its place, a desolate landscape materialized. Trees without any leaves surrounded her, and some of them looked like they’d been hit by lightning. The grass beneath her feet was withered, and the wind howled. Nearby was a cabin that—

Wait. This was—this was—

“The Secret Wood?” she said as her hand flew to her mouth. She didn’t want to believe it was true, but in her heart of hearts, she knew she was right. 

“Oh no—Sora,” she said as tears filled her eyes. Everything was so dry and barren, so empty and lifeless. How long had her beloved suffered for things to get this bad? 

“See?” the fake Sora said. “This is the state of his heart. This is the state of his feelings for you. You’re a cruel woman, Kairi, and this is the proof—”

She cut him off with a blast of thunder magic. He cried out and stumbled to the ground, cradling his bad arm, and Kairi gazed in horror as the wood withered even further and a nearby tree caught fire from the lightning.

“Attacking him… really does make it worse?” she said as she cast water magic on the tree to put the fire out. That could only mean—whatever the fake Sora was feeling… the real Sora must be feeling it, too. His pain and anguish, the blows she’d landed on him, the injuries she’d inflicted on him, all of that was hurting his heart and draining the life from it. Her earlier suspicions had proved true.

“Darling, I’m so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you—” she choked out. She touched her ring again and willed it to cast a protective barrier around Sora’s heart, but other than that, she was at a loss as to what to do. 

How was she supposed to defeat the fake Sora and get the part of Sora’s heart that was imprisoned inside of the fake back, all without hurting either of them? Physical attacks would hurt him. Magic attacks would hurt him. What did she have left?

Her eyes flickered to the tree she’d just doused. “You musn’t die,” she told it, then offered some of her light to it. “I know I hurt you, but you can grow again. You can keep on living. Please.” 

The tree looked a little less charred, a little less dead, and her spirits lifted. All until the fake Sora laughed at her.

“You really think doing that will help?” he asked as he staggered to his feet. “Look around you. Everything here is dead. You really think delaying the death of one single tree will make a difference?”

She looked around her, and her heart sank again. The fake Sora was right. The whole place still looked awful. Maybe helping one tree wouldn’t make much of a difference after all. 

But then something caught her eye. Over in the clearing, the cherry tree still stood. The same tree where she and Sora had made so many beautiful memories together. She warped over to it, and the ground around it was damp. And from its branches, one small leaf was clinging on for dear life. 

“It’s not all dead,” she said as she wiped her eyes and smiled. “It’s not all dead. There’s still hope. Sora didn’t give up on me. He didn’t give up on our love. He came back here and watered this tree. And that means… that means… he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live.” 

Kairi glanced at her ring, and it was flickering once more. She followed the path of the light, and it was pointing at the fake Sora, who had followed her here. He stood on the withered grass of the meadow nearby, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“I know, darling,” she said softly. “I’ll get this part of you back, I promise. Every part of you is precious to me, and I won’t abandon you any longer.” 

Something flickered through the fake Sora’s eyes, and he clutched his head. “Kairi…”

“Yes, that’s it! You have to fight the darkness! You don’t belong with it. You belong with me.”

He looked at her, his eyebrows knitted together and his teeth gritted. “With you?” 

“Yes. This part of your heart is all your sadness and pain, all your anger and sorrow, all the negative emotions you feel. I know they’re not pleasant, but they’re a part of you. And they’ll be safe with me until I can return them to your heart.” 

He collapsed to the ground and groaned. “I can’t fight it—it’s too strong—”

He looked at her again, and one moment his face was his, and the next she saw the dark entity he’d trapped inside of him. It was furious with her. Its fangs were bared and its yellow eyes were narrowed and pure hatred oozed off of it as it glared at her. 

“Let him go,” Kairi ordered. “Haven’t you tormented him enough?” 

The entity screeched and flew through the air, leaving the part of Sora’s heart behind and coming for her instead. She gritted her teeth and drew on all of the light inside her heart. On all the light Sora had so selflessly gifted her. 

“Enough!” she shouted, and the entity was hit with wave after wave of the light. But it wasn’t about to go down that easily. It dropped to the ground and oozed into the soil, then wrapped its nasty tentacles around her feet and pulled. She hissed and struck it with the light, but even after that, one of its hands was still wrapped firmly around her ankle and yanked her down. 

She was bracing herself for the impact when she felt strong arms wrap around her and catch her.

“Sora?” she cried, hardly believing it. But she knew his embrace. She would know it anywhere. She glanced backwards, and sure enough, it was the part of his heart the entity had finally set free. The negative emotions, granted, but still a part of him nonetheless. 

He hugged her tightly. “We can defeat him. Together. It’s what I should’ve done all along. Asked you for help in defeating this monster.” 

“Right,” she said. Her hand found his, and she knew what to do. Her wing sprouted from her back, wings made up of feathers of their most precious memories together, and she knew the same was happening to him.

“One Heart!” she cried as they soared into the air, and together, they dive bombed the entity. 

Feathers scattered all around them and turned into specks of light, and Kairi was pleased to see what some of the new ones were. 

The night of the first snow, when Sora swept her off of her feet. When he carried her back from the stables and tended to her wounded feet. When she healed him after he got injured protecting her. When they practiced archery together and played in the snow. The moment he’d seen her naked for the first time and held her and called her his wife and cried. The first time she came as they made love. When he’d comforted her on their belated honeymoon when she was scared about being separated from him again. Their lovemaking in the Secret Wood, and their lovemaking in the throne room. And most simple and beautiful of all, the moment they’d woken up in each other’s arms for the first time, the precious morning spent together before it all went wrong. 

Their wings were bigger and stronger than ever, despite all the heartache. Despite all the disappointments and separations. And that strengthened Kairi’s resolve. This wouldn’t be possible if either one of them had given up on the other. Sora had faith in her, and she had faith in him, and their faith made them strong.

So it was with full confidence that she reached for his hand this time and summoned their wings once more. They attacked the entity again and again and hit it with the light from her heart as it shrieked and wailed. There was more than enough light to share with him and use against the entity. They didn’t even have to use their Keyblades to attack it. No Keyblade could compare to the strength they found in each other. 

The entity got smaller and smaller and weaker and weaker till at last it was on its last legs. Together she and Sora soared higher and higher into the air, so high they were far above the treetops of the Secret Wood, soaring high in the sky, and then—

“No more! You won’t torment us anymore!” Sora cried as they made one last swoop on it. “Go back to the abyss where you came from!” 

The wind whistled past Kairi’s ears, and the impact from the two of them landing combined with the light going everywhere obliterated it completely and temporarily blinded her. She held her hand up to her face and winced. 

When the light had faded and she could see again, the entity was gone. At long last, the creature that had caused them both so much grief was no more. A heavy weight was lifted, not just from Sora’s heart, but from her heart, too.

Sora let go of her hand as their wings dissolved into light. “Kairi, thank you,” he said as he began to fade away. “Please, take this part of me back to the rest of me.”

She nodded. “I will.” 

He dissolved into specks of light, and those specks flew into her hand and formed a crystal in her palm. She gently kissed it and said, “I’ve got you.”

She looked at the landscape all around her. Not much had changed, and yet everything felt lighter. And when she glanced at the cherry tree, more leaves had sprouted.

There was still hope. There was always hope.

She smiled as she cradled the precious piece of Sora’s heart against her own to keep it safe and warm. Here it would stay until it could be returned to its rightful owner. 

“I’m coming for you, Sora. Wait for me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: The fake Sora taunts Kairi about Sora wanting to die.
> 
> This chapter was one I really enjoyed writing, so I hope you enjoyed reading it! At long last Kairi has freed this part of Sora's heart. And in the next chapter there just might be some things I think you all will enjoy... I'll see you next time!


	42. Forevermore

In all the years Sora had known Kairi, he’d always imagined himself as her knight or her king. She was the princess locked in the tower or the queen who ruled at his side. Those were the games they’d played as kids, and it had become a reality when they’d gotten older. 

Of course, Kairi wasn’t really a damsel in distress. Every time he’d saved her, she had always saved him in return. She had his back, just like he had hers. He could always count on her to come for him, to rescue him, to get him out of a bind. And she trusted him to do the same.

So maybe it wasn’t such a surprise that he could sense her descending to the dungeon where he was imprisoned. He had asked her to come, after all. He had begged her for help. And so the princess of light lowered herself into the depths of darkness where the knight-turned-king-turned-monster awaited her. 

He heard her voice before he saw her, at the entrance to his prison. She was at the top of a long flight of stairs, and a door with a magic seal kept him locked inside on his own orders… and kept her on the other side.

“Terra, Naminé, I’ll take it from here,” he heard her say through the door. “Go find the others and tell them everything will be alright. I want to reunite with Sora on my own.”

“Of course,” Terra said. “Take your time.”

“We’ll be back with the others when you’re ready,” Naminé said softly.

There was a pause, and then the seal holding the door shimmered in the air. Sora swallowed as he watched it disappear. A moment later, the heavy door creaked open, and Kairi slipped inside his prison. In one hand was her Keyblade, and in the other, she cradled something close to her heart. 

She was as beautiful as he remembered her, dressed in her battle attire with her hair flowing down her shoulders. The picture of health and grace, so different from the cold limp corpse he’d last held in his arms as he wept over her dead body. Giving her his light had worked. She was still alive. 

Their eyes met, and tears shimmered in hers. “Sora,” she choked out, and he shrank away from her and cowered against the wall. The chains binding his hands and feet clinked together, and his wing rubbed painfully against the cold stone. A few black feathers fell to the ground, reminders of his most painful memories. 

One feather for when she’d lost her body. Another for their first of many separations. A third for when he found out she’d forgotten about him. More for all the times she’d gotten kidnapped and he was powerless to protect her. A particularly big one for when Xehanort struck her down right in front of him, soon joined by one of her tear-stained face as he’d disappeared right in front of her. More feathers for more separations. For more pain. Even the good moments were tainted with it, like the time he’d hurt her during their lovemaking. 

A couple more feathers fluttered to the ground. The moment he’d found her right as the light left her body. When Riku and the others had taken her away. 

Two final feathers landed nearby, the day she’d broken up with him, and the day she admitted she didn’t love him anymore. Something about those memories really twisted the knife in his heart. Maybe it was because she’d chosen to do these things of her own free will. Maybe it was because he’d lost faith in their love afterwards. Whatever the reason, these memories hurt in a way the others didn’t.

“Darling, I’m here,” she said, calling his attention from all the painful memories and drawing it back to herself. Then she raced down the steps to him, taking two at a time. His heart soared at the tender endearment—was he really that dear to her?—and he watched her every move as she unlockend his cell with her Keyblade. The iron bars creaked as she threw the door open, and she burst into tears as she collapsed at his feet and gathered him in her arms. 

“This is real,” she sobbed. “You’re not alone. I came back for you, just like I promised.” 

How could she stand to touch him when he was like this? His wing was black, his hands were claws, and his body was weak and frail. A part of his heart was missing, too. And yet she was still embracing him like nothing was wrong. And when she pulled away, she was looking at him like he was the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen. 

“I have something for you,” she said as she reached into her pocket. She showed him the pieces of his heart that were missing, and they formed a blue crystal in her palm.

“I know these aren’t the happy parts of your heart, but you need them to be whole,” she explained. “Please, may I return them to you?” 

He nodded, and she held the crystal a few inches from his heart. Light started to glow from his chest, and the crystal glowed with light, too. A few moments later, the light from his chest joined with the light from the crystal and absorbed it. A sigh escaped his lips as his heart became whole again, both because it felt good to have a whole heart… and because his restored heart was feeling all the hurt he’d split off from himself until now. 

“Are you okay?” Kairi asked as she carefully studied his face, and he nodded again. It hurt to be whole again, but… that was just a part of having a heart. He would readjust to it with time. 

“Darling, say something, please,” she said as she cupped his face, and her touch was so warm, so tender. “I was so worried about you, you told me you wanted me to end you—”

“I thought that was the only way to keep you safe,” he said sadly. 

“You thought you dying would keep me safe? It’s only when you’re alive and we’re together that you’re able to keep your promise. How could you forget?”

He was silent. She had no idea what the figure had shown him, of what he was capable of. It might be gone, and the entity might be defeated, but Sora was perfectly capable of hurting her without them. 

She wiped her eyes and got to work unchaining him. “It’s all my fault. I never should have abandoned you.”

“But you didn’t abandon me. You came for me when I needed you most. Thank you.” 

He rubbed his wrists now that they were free. She caught his left hand in hers, and more tears welled up in her eyes. His ring finger was painfully swollen and his fingers were still red claws. 

“Even now, you're still wearing the sign of our vow,” she said as the tears dripped down her face. “You kept it on all this time. Thank you, darling, I know it couldn't have been easy." 

She bent down and kissed the ring, and Sora felt something stir deep within his heart. When she straightened, he brought his hand to her face, and it wasn’t a claw anymore. It was his hand again. The pain was completely gone, and his ring no longer felt like a burden. He could touch her again. He could touch her without hurting her. 

She smiled and rested her hand over his, then brought his other hand to her lips and kissed it. Now it, too, was restored to rights. The painful black wing that had sprouted from his back melted away, and she found his hands and held them, stroking them gently as she did. Her touch was heavenly, and he found himself aching for more. 

She looked into his eyes, and her smile was almost shy. 

“I have a story I’d like to tell you,” she said. 

“One of your grandmother’s?”

She shook her head. “No. This one is a Kairi original.” 

“Go ahead.”

What he didn’t add was that he would have agreed to anything if it meant he could hear her precious voice for just a few more moments. 

She cleared her throat and began. "Once upon a time, there was a princess who was flung from her world. She was cast into the stars when she was just a little girl because of a great evil. But a special charm brought her to a knight who could protect her. And protect her he did. He fought many monsters to keep her safe. And not just that. He gave his life for her, over and over again, because he loved her with all his heart.” 

Sora felt a lump build in his throat, but he squeezed Kairi’s hand to let her know he wanted her to continue.

“But what he doesn't know,” she said, her voice breaking, “what he really needs to hear, what the princess wants to tell him more than anything… is that she loves him too. She loves him with all her heart."

The last of the walls between them came crashing down, and Sora gathered Kairi in his arms and wept, louder and harder than he ever had before. Her words were the salve he needed, the hope he’d believed in, the confirmation he’d longed for. 

“I love you, Sora,” she choked out as she pulled away from him a little to look in his eyes. “I love you so, so much.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, like she couldn’t stop her true feelings from pouring out anymore. “I never stopped loving you,” she confessed, and that just made them both cry harder. 

He was shaking all over, but he brought his trembling hands to her tear-streaked face. He had to tell her he returned her feelings. She needed to hear him say it just as much as he’d needed to hear her say it.

“I love you too, Kairi,” he said as he smiled through his tears. As if there could be any doubt.

She smiled and covered his face in kisses, and their tears mingled together as they laughed and cried and showered each other in affection. How good it was to be loved by the person he loved most in all the worlds. How wonderful it was to hear her laughter, to see her smile, to share in her joy.

His eyes landed on his reflection in a nearby puddle. His hair was brown and his eyes were blue. He was human again. Fully himself. Fully Sora. The monster was gone, and the knight and the king were the same man. They had been all along. And that man was loved very deeply by his princess. 

“Darling, your eyes are blue,” she said after she’d covered his face in another round of kisses. “The most beautiful blue I’ve ever seen.”

“Only because of you, beloved,” he said softly.

She blushed and ducked her head, and he couldn’t help but grin. Everything was gonna be okay if he could still make her flustered from a little light flirting. 

But then his eyes landed on their rings, and he stilled. This day, this wonderful day, marked the start of something new. It was only right that they commemorate it. 

He found her hands and wove their fingers together. “Heart of my heart,” he began.

“Flesh of my flesh,” she continued, smiling shyly.

He rested his forehead against hers and carefully tuned in to her heart as she did the same with his heart. 

Together, they finished the rest of their new vows. “I will love you, now and forevermore.” 

Their wings sprouted anew, sheltering and shielding them as they rested in their new promise. A pair of feathers fell to the ground, two new memories. Kairi smiled when she saw what they were, and he smiled, too.

Then she met his gaze once more, and he leaned in closer, closer, till their lips were joined in a sweet kiss to seal their vow. As she deepened the kiss, though, it became clear that this was so much more than just a sign of their vow. It was a reunion kiss, too. A lover’s kiss. A kiss to apologize and make up, a kiss to celebrate all the past kisses and all the ones that were yet to come. A kiss to express to each other what was in their hearts, and a promise to love one another forevermore. 

And when it was over, he leaned back and looked into her eyes. Sometimes, words couldn’t express how he felt, but right now, there were three simple ones that would do the trick just fine. Three simple ones plus the name that was more dear and precious to him than any other name. 

“I love you, Kairi.”

“I love you, Sora.”

He gathered her in his arms, and she leaned her head against his chest. His light magic was back, and he knew what he wanted to do with it. 

“Rest, beloved,” he said softly. “You’ve healed my wounds, and now it’s my turn to heal yours.”

Green light glowed from his hands, and Kairi gave him a sleepy smile. Soon, she was falling asleep as he worked his magic, his touch healing her at long last. He kissed her head, and now that his energy was drained, too, he let himself join her in sweet sleep.

* * *

When Riku finally reached the dungeon, he felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest. Sora and Kairi were curled up in each other’s arms, fast asleep like they didn’t have a care in the World.

“Would you look at that,” he said with a half-smile. “The two lovebirds are snoozing away like lazy bums. And here we were all worried about them. Guess we can tell the others they don’t have to keep guarding their posts. We’ll get things under control once we can tell the people of Mare Caelestis that their king and queen are doing just fine.” 

“They really are like lovebirds,” Ven said as he strained his neck to see better. “Look at their wings.”

The white wing coming out of Kairi’s back was to be expected; the one from Sora’s back told Riku everything he needed to know about the state of his friend’s heart.

“It’s like I thought,” Riku said. “Sora’s heart is back to normal.” 

“I knew Kairi could do it,” Roxas said, and he and Naminé exchanged happy glances. 

“Yes,” Naminé said as she pressed her fingers together. “She saved him. Or perhaps it’s better to say… they saved each other.”

“We should move them somewhere more comfortable,” Aqua said. “Terra, Riku, would you do the honors?”

Terra nodded. “Of course.”

“Where are we gonna move them?” Riku asked, and Aqua smiled. 

“To their bedroom, of course. Where else would we take them?”

“You mean… their bedroom? The one they were supposed to use after their wedding? The one they haven’t used since their wedding night?”

Aqua nodded. “The very one. It just wouldn’t be right to take them to Kairi’s bedroom or Sora’s bedroom. They’re together again, and something tells me they’ll need plenty of time to themselves as husband and wife.”

Riku made a face, not wanting to think about his friends doing… _ that_, and Naminé giggled.

“Riku, they’re married,” she playfully chided. “What did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know, that they’ll want to sleep a lot?”

Everyone laughed, because Riku wasn’t entirely wrong.

“It’s not their fault you don’t have a romantic bone in your body,” Roxas said, a teasing grin on his face.

“Okay, fine, but I am _ not _making the food deliveries they’re gonna need because they won’t be leaving their room for a week. You guys haven’t heard some of the things I’ve heard, or witnessed some of the things I’ve witnessed.” He shuddered. “I’m still scarred from their tango on Sora’s birthday.”

“Marcus and Priscilla can take care of the food deliveries,” Aqua said. “You’ll be spared this time, _ Octavius._”

“Thank you for that,” he said dryly, and that got more laughs out of everyone.

Together their little group descended to the floor of the dungeon, and Riku carefully lifted Kairi into his arms as Terra picked Sora up. Their wings dissolved into specks of light, fortunately, otherwise it was gonna be really awkward hauling them both upstairs. 

But the loss of connection with Kairi made Sora stir. He murmured something, and his eyes fluttered open. Sure enough, they were back to their natural blue.

“Kairi?” he slurred. “Where are you?”

He was more alert now as he searched for her, and Riku could see the fear and hurt and panic in his eyes grow with each moment he couldn’t find her. 

“It’s okay, Sora,” Riku told him as he moved closer to show Sora who he was holding. “We’re not separating you. We’re just bringing you to your room. You need to rest, and you’re too big for me to carry you around anymore. So I’m carrying Kairi and Terra’s carrying you. I’ll walk ahead so that you can see her at all times, alright?”

Sora relaxed and smiled. “Thank you, Riku.”

Their little party ascended, and once they were out of the dungeons and walking across the castle grounds to the Keep, Riku moved close enough to Terra so that Sora could hold Kairi’s hand. He latched onto it as soon as she was within reach, and the way he was looking at her would’ve been enough to melt even the coldest of hearts.

Once they were inside the Keep, Sora looked very confused as they passed by both his and Kairi’s rooms, and Aqua smiled.

“Riku said _ your _ room, didn’t he?”

“You mean… our bedroom?” Sora said, barely above a whisper. 

“Of course. What better place for the king and queen to stay? Especially once I’m done with all the finishing touches that I have in mind.”

Sora looked at Kairi again and sighed. “I’ll finally get to sleep next to her in our bedroom.” 

If Riku were more sentimental, that was the point where he’d go awwww, which was what Aqua, Naminé, and Ven were all doing right now, so he figured they had the whole sentimental stuff covered. 

Once they’d reached their bedroom, Roxas and Aqua opened the doors for them. Terra reached the bed first and set Sora down, then moved out of the way and took Aqua’s hand as they smiled at each other. 

Sora’s eyes met Riku’s, and a moment of understanding passed between them. This was Riku’s apology for screwing everything up. This was his way of making things right. 

Sora reached for Kairi, and Riku gently lowered her into his arms to make up for tearing her away from him. He instantly curled around her and sighed deeply. All the stress fell away from his face, and he looked his age again. Riku couldn’t help but smile at how content and peaceful his expression was, especially when he kissed her forehead. He truly was at home with her.

“Thank you. All of you,” he said. “You protected Kairi and you saved me, and I… thank you.”

His eyes fluttered shut, and before long, his breathing evened out. Aqua smiled, and together she and Terra tucked him and Kairi in. 

“Look at those lovebirds,” Riku said. “Right back to sleeping again.” 

“They deserve it,” Ven said. 

Roxas nodded. “They do.” 

The others filed out of the room, but Riku lingered for a few moments. They were both safe, and his older brother instincts were kicking in and telling him to guard them. 

“Come, Octvavius,” Aqua said softly. “It’s time to address the nobles and tell them that their queen has safely returned and their king is in good health.” 

As Riku glanced at their peaceful faces one last time, he couldn’t help but wonder. 

“How long do you think they’ll want to stay here on Mare Caelestis?”

Aqua hesitated, then said, “That’s not for us to decide. I know you’re ready to bring them home once they’re awake, but… it has to be their choice.” 

“Fair enough. They’ll need time to figure everything out first. I just… want them to come home. It isn’t the same without them.”

“I know. I think they’ll want to return, and sooner rather than later. But they’ll have to make sure things will run smoothly once they’re gone.”

“Right. But first… they need as much time to themselves as it takes to heal their relationship. I know they’ve made up, but…”

Aqua’s lips twitched. “Is it just me, or are you actually encouraging them to—”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes. No interrupting them for at least three days. Maybe longer. The only interruptions that are allowed are for food.” 

“Yes, Captain,” she said, her lips twitching. “The rules can go into effect once I’ve freshened their room up for them.” 

With that all settled, they turned out the lights and left the room. As he let the door quietly close behind them, he turned back to Sora and Kairi and said, “Sleep well, Your Majesties.”

He could’ve sworn Sora smiled in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I've been looking forward to sharing this one with you all for a while, and I'd be happy to hear your thoughts. Sora's restoration and healing (and Kairi's as well) was always what this story was about, and I hope you've enjoyed the journey. See you next time!


	43. All Shall Be Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings and an update from the author.

Kairi’s eyes fluttered open. Her fingers curled and uncurled. Underneath her were blue sheets and a blue blanket, nice and soft and warm. Sunlight streamed through a window and rested on the bedside table and dresser nearby. She spotted fresh flowers in a vase and some potted plants on the balcony. Some of her clothing was carefully folded, and her toiletries were set aside. There was men’s clothing, too.

Hang on. This wasn’t her room. This was—

Warmth was pooling against her back, and she rolled over to face it.

Sora was there, curled up next to her with the blanket draped over his legs, his brown hair poking out every which way. He was snoring lightly, with his mouth open and a little drool pooling on the pillow next to him. His shirt was torn, his clothes were dirty, and there was grime on his face, but somehow that made him even more precious to her. A dream wouldn’t look like this. The man snoozing beside her might be rugged and dirty, but he was also very real. 

They were reunited at long last, and she was still giddy at the thought that he was sleeping soundly next to her in  _ their _ bedroom. This was so much better than a dream. 

“Morning, lazy bum,” she murmured, her throat a little parched.

Sora stirred, and after another moment his eyes fluttered open. They were still their beautiful blue, and she loved seeing them. 

“Morning, Kai,” came his voice, sleepy and scratchy but content.

She reached out and touched his face. His skin wasn’t quite smooth beneath her fingers; he had a little stubble, and her arm felt heavy from earlier. But she wanted to commit every inch of his face to memory again, map out his features with her fingers. 

“Darling, you look very handsome this morning,” she murmured.

He chuckled. “You sure about that? I’m pretty sure I smell terrible right now, and I’m covered in grime, too. Spending all night and then some in a dungeon isn’t great for personal hygiene.” 

“But see? That’s partly why you’re so beautiful to me. Because it means you’re real.”

His hand found hers, and he pressed their palms together. His hand was so big and rough, hers so soft and small. Nail polish was carefully painted on her nails, and they were manicured, too. The hand of a princess in the hand of her knight. 

A big smile spread across his face. “That’s right. I am real, and I’m here with you.” He twined their fingers together, gentle for all his strength. “All because you saved me, Kairi.”

She blushed and ducked her head. “No one should be allowed to be this charming so early in the morning,” she muttered, and he chuckled again. 

“Then you’ll have to outlaw yourself too, you know. Imagine how I felt waking up and seeing my wife’s beautiful face as she looked at me like I was her everything.”

“You are my everything,” she said softly. “My heart can’t lie to you.” 

His eyes flickered to her chest. “May I?”

She nodded, and he pressed his ear against her chest. Listened for her heartbeat. She hesitated, then brought her hand to his hair and ran her fingers through it. The soft sigh of contentment that escaped his lips at that gave her the boldness to cradle his head in her arms.

“I missed you. So much,” she murmured as she planted a soft kiss on the crown of his head. 

He snuggled into her chest. “I missed you too.”

She stroked his hair, noting it was a little oily beneath her fingertips. There was a dried clump of blood from his imprisonment, too. She kissed the spot, and Sora let out another soft little sigh.

“Sorry it took me so long,” she said, running her fingers through the clump to smooth it out. “I wanted to return as soon as possible, but I was too weak at first, and then we couldn’t make it through—”

“It’s okay. You came for me in the end, and that’s what matters.”

He looked up into her eyes, and her breath caught at the look in his. His soul wasn’t all that she could see; no, she could see straight into his heart right now, too.

“Kairi, I love you,” he choked out. Simple words, but spoken with all his heart. Memories of how they’d poured their hearts out to each other after their reunion filled her mind, and she got a little emotional herself.

“I love you too, Sora,” she said as she brushed his bangs out of the way and kissed his forehead. How she’d missed showing him affection.

But before they did anything else, she wanted to clean herself. Sora wasn’t the only one who could use a bath. She was dirty and smelly from all the fighting and running, and it was distracting her greatly.

She gave his hand a quick squeeze and rolled over to get out of bed when he stopped her.

“Let me hold you,” he pleaded, his hand finding hers and latching on. “Please. Just for a little while longer.”

She gave him a reassuring smile. “I just want to take a quick shower.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Or… if you want… come take a bath with me?”

He looked away. “I’d love that, but… I think I should tell you, I’m feeling… not so great about my body right now.”

“Because of the darkness?” she asked with a frown. 

“It doesn’t make sense, I know. It’s gone, and my heart feels so much lighter. But for months I felt like a monster, and as much as I hate to admit it, some of those feelings are still lingering inside my heart.” His eyes found hers again. “I’m sorry, Kairi. You’ve done so much to make me feel loved already as it is.”

“We can take things slow. Heaven knows you were patient with me.” 

He relaxed a little at that, then frowned again. “The darkness… isn’t the only thing I’m feeling not so great about.”

She sat on the bed beside him and stroked his hair with her free hand. “What else is troubling you?”

“I’ve… lost weight, since we got separated. I’m thinner and scrawnier and weaker. I haven’t been taking care of my body like I should have.”

“Sora, it’s okay,” she said softly. “You tore out half of your heart and gave it to me. Of course you felt terrible physically and emotionally. Give yourself some grace, darling. You’ll be back to full strength in no time. And besides,” she added shyly as she squeezed his hand, “no matter how shy and insecure you’re feeling right now… your body is still the body of my husband. You’re still as beautiful to me as ever.”

His eyes met hers again, but he was silent, so she kissed his hand and stood.

“I’ll start running the bathwater, okay? Feel free to join me or stay here if you’d prefer.”

Aqua (at least Kairi assumed it was Aqua) had thought of everything; among the set of toiletries she’d left behind for them was Kairi’s favorite bubble bath mix, lavender with a hint of vanilla. She grabbed it and a few towels and other things and left the rest for Sora.

The tub in their bathroom was really nice. It had jacuzzis and everything and was more than big enough for the two of them. Before long she had the water running and the bathroom filled with steam and bubbles. Getting her sticky, sweaty clothes off was a relief, and lowering herself into the hot water felt heavenly. She let out a deep sigh as its soapy warmth enveloped her, and soon afterwards there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” she called. Sora did, and he had one of the towels wrapped around his waist. Without his shredded shirt, she could see even more clearly how his emotional and mental anguish had affected his body. He wasn’t kidding about losing weight. He was thinner than she’d seen him in a long time, and he’d lost some muscle, too.

They just looked at each other for a moment, her with her body mostly hidden beneath the water and bubbles, him with his body mostly on display.

She turned the faucet off. “Join me.”

He hesitated, and she looked away to give him some privacy. After a few moments she heard him lowering himself into the water, and she sneaked a peek again. He had this perfect little look of contentment on his face as he leaned against one of the jets and sighed.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” she said.

His eyes fluttered open. “Yeah. Thanks for getting this ready for us.”

“Of course.”

They just sat there for a while, enjoying soaking in the hot water. But Kairi hadn’t invited him to bathe with her just so they could look at each other. She grabbed one of the washcloths she’d set aside and dipped it in the water.

“May I?” she asked shyly, holding it a few inches away from him.

He nodded, and she brought it to the smudge of dirt on his cheek. He watched as she gently rubbed the grime and sweat away, little by little, rinsing out the washcloth as necessary. When his face was clean, she moved to his chin and neck.

“You’re all scruffy,” she teased as she ran her fingers through his stubble. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

He wrinkled his nose. “It’s because it’s itchy. I don’t really like it.”

“Good, because I like you better clean shaven anyway.”

She went back to work, healing any small cuts and scrapes and bruises she ran across as she washed the dried grime and grit and sweat away.

“I know you’re feeling self-conscious,” she said with a frown as she cleaned his chest, being careful to be extra gentle around his heart, “but this isn’t anything that can’t be fixed with some hearty meals, good exercise, and TLC.”

“That goes for you too,” he said, eyeing her body. “You’re looking healthier than I am, but I can tell you’ve lost some weight, too.”

“Me or my boobs?” she teased as she dipped the cloth back in the water. She didn’t want him launching into a long apology and beating himself up with guilt, and the best way to avoid that was to lighten the mood.

Sure enough, his face turned red. “Y-you of course! Your face, your arms, your legs—”

“And my boobs. They lose weight when I do. It’s okay if you noticed.”

He didn’t say anything, so she decided not to press the issue.

“You’re right though, I have lost some weight,” she finally said as she rubbed the grime off his arm.

His eyes found hers. “But we’ll get better, won’t we?”

She bopped his nose with the washcloth. “We will. Together.” She shifted so she was resting against the bathtub and held her arms out. “Here, time to shampoo your hair.”

He leaned against her, and she wrapped her legs around him as she massaged the shampoo into his scalp. The soft little noises he let out as she did made her lean down and kiss his soapy head multiple times, not really caring when the suds got on her lips and in her mouth.

When it was time for him to rinse his hair out, his eyes were closed and his breathing was even, so she scooped some water onto his hair to rinse the shampoo out herself instead. But then his eyes fluttered open again, and he shifted so he could dunk his head underwater.

When he emerged from the water, his face was squeaky clean and dripping wet. His hair always looked so different when it was wet, too. It was actually fairly long when it was like this, reaching past his chin. It was darker, too, which was a welcome relief from the silver it had turned before. His lashes looked even longer than usual, as darkened as they’d been by the water.

“It’s not fair,” she said with a pout. “Your eyelashes aren’t just longer, they look longer than mine ever will.” She shook her head and sighed. “Redhead problems.”

After that, she cleaned his back, taking extra time around the spot where the scaffolding had collapsed on him, stroking it and kissing it. All that was left now was his lower body. Would he let her, or…

He let her. The most vulnerable, intimate parts of himself, and he let her touch them and clean them. Let her touch him and clean him and see how wonderfully human he was. Real and alive and different from her in all the right ways.

His legs came after that, and he squirmed as she cleaned his feet because they were so ticklish. She just giggled and tickled them as she cleaned them, which got him to laugh, too.

How she’d missed his laugh.

“There,” she said at long last, setting the washcloth to the side. “All clean.”

He reached behind her and picked up the other washcloth. “Your turn, Kairi,” he said softly. He brought the washcloth to her face and was ever so tender, ever so gentle. The hands that had just a day before been claws now had long, elegant fingers once more. His eyes were a clear blue, his skin and hair their natural color, and she couldn’t tear herself away from his gaze as he washed her.

His touch was gentle as he explored her body and got to know it again. Wiped the dirt and sweat and grime away, then kissed the parts of her that were now clean. Massaged her scalp and ran his fingers through her hair as he washed it, just like she’d done for him. And when it was his turn to clean the most intimate parts of her, he was even more gentle, even more delicate. His eyes found hers as he touched her, and they were filled with love as he shared in her moment of vulnerability.

Then he cleaned her legs and feet, and she took a couple minutes to shave afterwards. When she set the razor aside, he gave her a gentle smile.

“All clean?” he asked.

She nodded. “All clean.”

“Good. Then I can do this.” He scooped up a bunch of bubbles and crowned her head. “My beloved princess,” he added with a shy smile.

Her heart fluttered at that. She loved hearing his tender endearments for her. 

Instead of crowning him in return, she gave him a very bubbly, very foamy beard. And for the second time that day she got to hear his beautiful laughter when he caught a glimpse of himself in the faucet. His eyes met hers again, and the genuine joy and delight in them made her heart ache, knowing how long it had been since he’d felt such things.

“Kairi, you’re beautiful,” he blurted out, the words tumbling out of his mouth much like his confession of love had earlier.

She smiled and cupped his cheek. “So are you.”

His eyes softened, and they shared an awkward hug. Awkward because they were still in the bathtub and their legs were kind of getting in the way, but it didn’t really matter. It felt right. Afterwards they rinsed off in the shower together, removing soapy beards and crowns and the other remnants of their sudsy bubble bath. When they were done, Sora jumped out first and grabbed a towel for her, wrapping her up in it and holding her tight. 

“Get one for yourself too, you’re covered in goosebumps,” she teased as she kissed his cheek. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Once he was wrapped up, too, he sat her down and poked around till he found a hair dryer, then carefully dried her hair. Afterwards, when she was expecting to return the favor, he just grinned and shook his hair out like a dog.

The perks of having shorter hair. That had actually sort of worked.

She put on her facial lotion, then watched as he grabbed his razor to shave. The lower half of his face was already covered in shaving cream, and he brought the razor to his face and paused.

"It's really not that interesting,” he said with a chuckle. “You can go get dressed if you want."

She shook her head. "I want to see the baby face return live.”

He chuckled again at that, his eyebrow raised. "Gee, thanks Kairi! Now I really feel like a man."

"You’re a man in all the ways that count,” she murmured as she wrapped her arms around him and planted a quick kiss between his shoulder blades. When she released him, the flustered look on his face made  _ her  _ blush, too.

Which just made her realize how much she’d missed this, too. The flirting and teasing. Maybe it didn’t seem like much, but its absence had gnawed away at her, and its return was a welcome relief.

Things really were going to be okay between the two of them. Their vow held true.

How good it was to be with him again. 

* * *

When they were both ready for the day, Sora surprised her by asking if they could go to the Secret Wood together.

“Is there something you want to show me?” she asked, because his expression was very serious. 

“I need to talk to you about something important, and I want to tell you there.” He glanced at their bed. “Besides, I’m sure Aqua will be chomping at the bit to get in here and make sure the servants get us fresh sheets.”

She chuckled at that. “True enough. We’ll have to thank her for helping us with all of this,” she said as she gestured around her.

He offered his hand, and she took it so he could lead her outside. A few of the servants saw them as they passed, and smiles lit up their faces as they waved. Kairi returned their greetings, and so did Sora.

Once they’d reached the garden with the lovers’ fountain, Sora paused and held his free hand out. A moment later, his fully restored Keyblade appeared in his hand. He tilted his head to look at her, as if to say, “See? All better,” and she nodded and smiled. 

The Secret Wood was looking much better than it had the day before. Tender shoots were poking up out of the ground, water had filled the pool again, the cherry tree had regrown its leaves, and the trees in the surrounding wood were looking more lively than they had before. The flowers hadn’t returned yet, but the log cabin was still intact, and Kairi was relieved to see such clear proof that they were both doing better. That their relationship was healing. 

Sora found her hand again, and she treasured the fact that it was his hand, his real hand, his very human hand, currently squeezing hers.

“What is it?” She gave him a soft smile, and his eyes found hers.

“Kairi, it’s time I told you everything. About what happened before, with the black box. About how I arrived here, and why I kept secrets from you. You deserve to know the truth.”

She took a deep breath. “Actually, I do remember now, about what happened with the black box. I know why you kept things secret for so long. You were just trying to protect me, like you always do.” 

His eyes were heavy. “That’s a part of it, but there’s more. I don’t… I don’t want to keep secrets from you anymore. They’ve made it so hard for us to be close.” 

“Yes. But we don’t have to hide things anymore.” 

They went to the cabin instead of roughing it outdoors this time. The doorknob was rusty, but Sora was able to open it in the end, and he let her go in first. 

The inside was largely unchanged. The outside of the cabin might’ve taken a beating, but its heart was still intact. The scent of pine trees hit her nose, and she breathed deeply. How she’d missed this place.

She glanced at the bed that they’d hardly gotten to use. Glanced at Sora and wondered if the deep longing for intimacy was stirring within him the way it was stirring within her. It wasn’t just a physical craving, though that was an important part of it. There was just so much more to it than that. She wanted to know him and be known by him, in every way possible. Wanted to connect with him on the deepest level, with no more walls or barriers in the way.

But to do that, they needed to talk. Needed to make sure they were on the same page. The emotional intimacy would come first, and the physical intimacy would follow soon after, followed by more sharing of their hearts with each other. The two aspects were just hopelessly intertwined like that. Neither of them could separate their hearts from their bodies, and neither of them wanted to, either. 

Sora brushed the comforter off before settling on top of the bed and leaning against the log wall. He held his arms out, and she was quick to join him on the bed. He wrapped himself around her as she relaxed into his embrace, then nuzzled her neck and shoulder with gentle kisses.

She sighed deeply. “I missed this.”

“I did too,” he said as his grip tightened. “But I can’t let myself get carried away. You deserve to know the truth.”

“Then tell me,” she said softly.

He stroked her arm. “You said you remember what happened with the black box. Will you tell me what that was like?”

She took a deep breath. Recalling these memories wouldn’t be easy, but she would do it for him.

“You sabotaged my attempt to sacrifice myself by sacrificing yourself instead,” she said sadly. “You saved me again, at the cost of all the light in your heart. You let the darkness from the box tear into you and rip half of your heart out.” 

Her voice broke on the last part as she remembered how awful it had been. At how much he had suffered during his sacrifice and for months and months afterwards. 

“You know why I did it, don’t you?” he said, his voice low. His eyes met hers, and he was more serious than she’d ever seen him. 

“Because without any light, I can’t survive. But without any light, you knew you had a fighting chance.”

He nodded. “I couldn’t bear to let you die. It didn’t matter that we’d broken up. It didn’t matter that I was hurting because my heart was broken. All that mattered was saving you and keeping you safe. It’s why I kept the black box hidden from you. I didn’t want you to remember. I knew you would blame yourself for what happened to me and try to fix it. I also knew that you would either sacrifice yourself to save me, or the box would take your light from you anyway. And I couldn’t—I couldn’t bear to lose you.” 

He paused for a moment to collect himself, then continued. 

“But still, none of that excuses my deception. I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark about this for so long. If only I’d trusted you with the truth, then we could’ve avoided this latest separation.”

“I understand why you kept it a secret. You were doing everything you could to fulfill your promise to me.” Her fingers curled around his shirt. “And so long as we’re apologizing to each other… I’m sorry for breaking up with you. I never should’ve done that. All it did was bring us so much pain.” 

She could see now why she’d done it. It was a desperate attempt to shut him out before he could shut her out, reject him before he could reject her. Even though their separations hadn’t been what he’d wanted, they still felt like rejection and abandonment, and her heart couldn’t take it anymore. It had lashed out at the very object of its affection because loving Sora had become too painful to bear. 

He knew. He knew why, and he understood. 

“Because you still loved me,” he said softly. “And I still loved you. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.”

“Still, I should’ve tried to talk to you about it instead of shutting you out. I drove such a huge wedge between us that awful day.”

He shook his head. “If there are any fingers to point, then we both share in the blame. I drove us apart just as much as you did. I was too blind to see how much my actions were hurting you, and for that I really am at fault. I just… assumed we would always be together in the end.” He sighed deeply. “The trouble was, the end never came.”

She frowned. “That doesn’t excuse me breaking up with you, and worse, marrying you under false pretenses.” A lump built in her throat as she remembered his tear-streaked face the night of their argument, as she thought about his hurt and disappointment on their wedding night. “I hurt you so much by doing that.” 

“And I’ve already forgiven you,” he said as he gently stroked her face. “If we hadn’t gotten married, who knows if we ever would’ve healed the hurt between us.” 

“Do you really think it’s healed?” she said quietly. “I hurt you so deeply, I don’t know that I can ever make it up to you. Plus, you sacrificed yourself for me again and again, and I—"

“And you saved me again and again. Trust me, there’s no debt to repay.” 

She raised her hand, but Sora put his hand over hers, gently caressing her knuckles as he lowered her hand and gazed into her eyes. 

"I mean it, Kairi. No more obligation or guilt. Your love is enough. Your love saved me, just like it always does."

She pressed her forehead into his shoulder, and he gently kissed her head. 

"I do love you, so much," she said. "I only regret not telling you sooner. I was afraid you would get taken from me again as soon as I told you, just like what happened the last time I told you.”

"It’s okay,” he said softly. “I knew why you were scared, and I didn’t want to pressure you. Besides, you told me when you were ready. And it was that much more beautiful to me because I knew you meant the words with all your heart."

He pulled her closer, and she hooked her fingers into his clothes, scared to let go. 

“What is it?” he asked.

“I never want to let you go, darling. I missed you so much. I even dreamed about the moment we could be together again.”

He didn’t answer her for a moment, and she met his eyes again. When he finally spoke, his voice was very small. 

“I had dreams, too. But they weren’t good ones.” 

His eyes were full of pain and his brow was creased. She gently touched his face, wondering if she should ask further about it. “Sora?”

“I… they were nightmares. The darkness used them to torment me.”

“What were they?” she asked as she stroked his cheek. 

He took a deep, shuddering breath. His face was ashen, and there was a bead of sweat forming on his upper lip.

“If it’s too painful, we don’t have to talk about this right now,” she quickly added. 

He shook his head. “No. No more secrets. I promised.” He smiled sadly, and his lower lip trembled. “I’m just… ashamed.”

She frowned. “Ashamed?”

“Yes. The nightmare used all my biggest fears as your husband against me, and it revealed my greatest weaknesses, too. Perfectly designed to torment me, because who better to torment me than my own grief and sadness and insecurity, twisted by the darkness?”

She rested her hand over his heart, and it was racing. “Darling, really, you don’t have to—”

“You… you chose the fake Sora over me,” he blurted out. “You thought it was the real me. Then… then you slept with him, and you told him you loved him.”

Her stomach twisted itself into knots. She had no idea Sora feared this sort of thing.

“I’m sorry, darling. I can see why that was so hurtful. This all could’ve been avoided if I told you how I felt sooner.”

Would it be awkward to address his other fear? His fear that she would find satisfaction with someone else? That he wasn’t enough to satisfy her? Because it wasn’t true, not one single bit. He was more than enough to satisfy her, and she couldn’t imagine ever finding refuge in the arms of another man. 

Before she could speak, however, he continued. 

“That isn’t all. There’s more.” He swallowed. “You… you got pregnant.” 

She considered this for a moment. “You’re afraid of me getting pregnant?”

“No, not at all! Gosh, no. Kairi, you know where my heart is on this issue, you know I want to be a father someday.”

“And I… I’d like to be a mother. So long as it’s with you.” 

Now that Sora was fully back to being himself, she could admit such things to him with ease. She did want to start a family with him. Being around the orphan children had helped her realize that, and so had their awful separation. 

He relaxed at her words. “I feel the same. And that’s what I was afraid of. Never getting to experience that with you. Watching you experience it with someone else instead.” 

“You know I never would.”

“Yeah, but fear isn’t always rational.” He sighed deeply. “But even all the stuff I just told you about wasn’t even the worst part of the dream.” 

“What was?” she said as she stroked his chest in the hopes it would help him calm down.

Tears welled up in his eyes instead. “Kairi, it’s awful, I’ve never felt so ashamed in my life—”

“Our love is bigger than shame. Tell me. I promise I’ll listen.” 

He took a deep, shuddering breath. “Without… without any light in my heart, I was aching for it. Hungry for it. You found me in the darkness. You led me to your room. And you told me to consume the light from your heart to soothe the ache. And so I did. I tore your chest open and devoured your heart like the monster I am.”

“Was,” she gently corrected. “No, never were. You’ve never been a monster, Sora.”

Tears were streaming down his cheeks now, and his voice was shaking. “In that nightmare I was. I didn’t stop eating your heart till you were dead. And you let me. You urged me on. You told me we could finally be together when I was through. In that moment, I’ve never felt so horrible in my life. I despised myself for destroying you. I love you so much, it was torture to do something so terrible to you—” 

She cupped his wet cheek, and he finally stopped shuddering. “Sora, look at me. Listen to my voice.” 

He met her eyes, and she hated the deep shame and self-loathing that was in them. She had to do something to fix this.

“That was a horrible dream, don’t get me wrong. But it wasn’t real. I would never betray you, and you would never hurt me like that.”

Fresh tears trailed down his cheeks. “I’m still scared that a part of me isn’t safe for you,” he admitted. 

“Why wouldn’t it be?” she asked softly as she wiped his tears away. 

“Because this? This is too good to be true. There has to be a catch. I got you and your love back way too easily for there not to be.”

“You call this easy?” she said with a sad smile. “Took me a year to admit to you that I still love you. Took me days to make it back to your side.”

“I would have waited decades for you, beloved.”

“Still, I’m sorry you had to wait at all. Maybe you wouldn’t have had the nightmare if—”

He shook his head. “That was because of the darkness. Not your fault.”

“Yes, my fault. Because of me. The darkness took hold of you because of me. Because you loved me so much you had to turn the World on its head again just to save me. While I—while I tried to convince my heart that it didn’t love you—”

“But you do love me. That’s what counts.”

It warmed her heart, to hear him be so confident in her love now. 

“I do. And speaking of love,” she said, because she wanted to talk about this too, wanted to thank her dear, sweet husband for his beautiful outpouring of love and light, “the kiss you gave me… when you saved me…” 

His eyes softened, and he smiled shyly. “You felt that?”

“I did. I may have been on the brink of death, but it didn’t matter. I’ve never felt so much love before in my life. And that was after you showered me with so much love, every single day. But nothing compared to how warm and safe and loved I felt in that moment as you gave me everything to bring my cold, dead heart back to life.” She kissed his chest and looked up at him. “But then you were gone. I didn’t get to thank you, so I want to say it now. Thank you for saving me.”

He ran his hand through her hair. “My pleasure,” he said softly. “I’m sorry I told them to take you away from me.”

“You were scared you would hurt me, weren’t you? How could I ever fault you for that?”

He kissed her forehead. “I  _ was _ scared. I let fear get the better of me when I should’ve known better. But our love is bigger than fear, and I won’t let that happen again. No more separations, Kairi, it doesn’t matter what the reason is. Being with you is the only acceptable outcome anymore.” 

“Agreed. Whatever happens next, we’ll face it together, darling.”

“My name, Kairi,” he murmured as his lips brushed against her forehead again. “Please, say my name.”

“Sora.”

“And what am I to you?” he continued, his voice low.

She thought for a moment. “My husband, my darling, my friend. My knight, my lover, my king. But most of all… you’re mine. You’re my Sora.”

He made a soft little cry and pulled her close. “That’s right. I’m yours. My life is yours, and I want to spend the rest of it with you.”

“And my life is yours, and I want to spend the rest of it with you,” she said softly. “Whatever happens, whatever we decide, whether we choose to stay here on Mare Caelestis or go home… we’ll be together.”

When they left the cabin, the Secret Wood was covered in a carpet of green grass, and the flowers were blooming again. A few petals from the cherry tree were carried by on the breeze. All was well, and all manner of things would be well. And knowing she would get to spend the rest of her days with Sora?

Every moment would be a treasure, every second precious. They were together, like they should be. Together, like they would be from now on. Even unto death. Beyond death till they were nothing more than a legend. The legend of the knight and the princess. 

Generations from now people would talk about it. About how the knight died for the princess, then fought his way out of the afterlife to find her again. About how he created a new world for her and she proposed to him. About how they became king and queen, and all throughout, the knight never stopped loving her, and the princess never stopped loving him. 

For while the knight became the king and the princess became the queen, she had loved the same man all along. He had changed as the king, but his heart was still good. His heart was still the heart of the man she had fallen in love with.

And what a beautiful heart it was. She couldn’t be more proud, or more happy, or more honored, to have such a heart joined to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Sora and Kairi discuss Sora's nightmare from Chapter 39.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! This was another one I really enjoyed writing just because it was good to let Sora and Kairi spend some time alone together resting and recovering.
> 
> Just a quick update, the story is going to go on hiatus for a while. I'm not sure how long so I don't want to make any promises, but I'm gonna say roughly a month to a month and a half and go from there. If the story is ready after that, I'll resume posting again, and if it isn't, I'll update you all on my author's profile about when I think it will be ready. I have a lot of raw material written for the next part, but I need time to edit it and pare it down to meet my usual standards because I want it to be the best quality it can possibly be. 
> 
> I've also been posting this story for nearly a year now, and I think I just need a break for a little while too. Thank you to everyone who has left me supportive comments, they mean a lot to me. Take care of yourselves, and I'll see you later!


	44. Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check the end notes for content warnings.

When Sora and Kairi returned to their room, the sheets were changed, everything was tidied up, and dinner was waiting for them. They feasted on the food, lamb and rice with broccoli and delicious buttery rolls, and talked about all the little things they’d missed about being together. After they were through, Sora left the dishes and rolling cart outside their door with a little thank you note. He wanted to thank Marcus and Priscilla in person, but that could wait till tomorrow. Tonight was about Kairi, about repairing his bond with her, about healing the hurt he’d caused and letting her soothe his aching heart. She’d restored him fully, and yet something didn’t feel right yet. Something was missing.

When she came out of the bathroom, wearing a silk nightie that hugged her delicate curves in all the right places, he realized why. It hit him all at once, like someone had just slammed a Keyblade into his chest. He needed to be close to her again. Craved intimacy with her on every level. Wanted to hold her in his arms as he filled her and pleased her and made it clear just how deeply he loved her. 

But he was getting ahead of himself. Rushing into sex would be a disaster. He was thin and frail and weak and tired. Even just walking around some today had worn him out. And a small, ugly thing inside him wondered if Kairi would still want him as he was now. Without the darkness, without that element of excitement and danger, would she still… enjoy sleeping with him? He was fully himself again, yeah, but he wasn’t blind to how a part of her seemed to get really turned on by risky, adrenaline-fueled antics. And right now, he felt dull and boring in comparison. He wanted to make love, but he couldn’t help but worry that his desire for tender intimacy wouldn’t be enough for her, er, more passionate tastes. 

“Sora?” she said softly, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, um, everything’s fine.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry, my energy levels aren’t back to normal yet, so I’m feeling pretty tired.”

Her expression softened. “Of course. You need time to recover, and I’m pretty worn out too. Let’s call it a night, okay?” She leaned over and turned on the bedside table lamp. “Will you turn off the light?”

He nodded and did as she asked, then hesitated because she’d already gotten under the covers. This was their room and their bed, but he still wanted her permission to join her. It was one thing for them to be put here by their friends, but it was another altogether for them to share a bed by mutual agreement. 

“Kairi?” he finally asked. “Can I join you?”

She lifted the covers. “Of course. This is your bed as much as it is mine.”

He stripped down to his boxers as she watched. He couldn’t bring himself to sleep naked, not when she was still clothed and he was feeling shy about his body, but he wanted to show her he felt comfortable around her all the same. 

He joined her in bed and sighed deeply. This was how it should’ve been all along. The two of them, sharing a bed—

No, wait. Something still wasn’t right.

“Kairi? Can I hold you?”

A few moments later, he was spooning her. Much, much better. His whole World was in his arms, and cuddling with her felt so good. 

“Love you,” he blurted out after he kissed her cheek. 

“Love you too,” she said without any hesitation. 

“Sleep well, beloved.”

“In your arms, my love? I know I will.”

* * *

When Sora woke up the next morning, Kairi was still nestled in his arms. He sighed happily and nuzzled her neck, breathing deeply of her scent. 

“Morning, wife,” he murmured in her ear, then planted a few kisses on her soft skin. She stirred and yawned, and his heart melted, seeing her in such a sleepy state, knowing she felt safe enough with him to spend all night in his arms. 

She tilted her head back to kiss him, slowly, lazily. “Morning, husband,” she said, then gave him one last peck on the cheek before letting her head rest against the pillow again. “You’re so warm I almost don’t need the blanket you hogged,” she teased. 

“I  _ am _ your blanket. I’m keeping you safe and warm.” 

He draped his arm over hers and wound their fingers together. Her hand was so small and delicate compared to his own, but it was a deep relief that his hand was still very much human. 

“It’s true, you make a very good blanket,” she said, then lifted their hands to her lips so she could kiss his knuckles. “And now, dear blanket, I require my morning cuddles.” 

He chuckled. “Is that an order from the queen?”

“Yes. From now on I will require cuddles every morning. The day simply can’t begin until I’ve been cuddled properly.” 

“I am your humble servant, beloved. Your wish is my command.” 

He would be happy to spend all day in bed cuddling with her if that was what she wanted. There was just one catch. Her butt was right up against his hips, and his usual morning boner had gone from being a mild inconvenience to a major distraction. 

Surely she felt his dick poking into her butt. Surely she did. It had to be obvious, right? She’d noticed this kind of thing before and loved teasing him about it. But she said nothing, and so he said nothing, just held her as the longing inside him grew. Just when he thought he was going to snap from the tension, though, she spoke up. 

“Sora? I know I said we could take things slow, but I can’t… I can’t take this anymore.” She looked at him with a very distraught expression on her face. “I’m sorry, I know you’re not… feeling very good about yourself, but I—”

He silenced her with a kiss. It was funny what horniness did to his brain, pushing aside his doubts and fears and concerns. And Kairi kissed him back, as hungry for him as he was for her. She wove her fingers into his hair and deepened the kiss, and her eagerness and excitement grew as their tongues met and teased each other. 

Damn, he’d really missed making out with her. It felt better than ever, too. He would’ve been happy to make out with her for hours if his body didn’t have other ideas. Still, there was something holding him back, something he needed to talk to her about first.

“Kairi,” he said when they finally broke apart, “you know that I want you, more than anything, but I—”

“I know, darling,” she said with a sweet smile. “No rushing, even though you’re so perfect that I can hardly bear it. It took all my self-control last night not to jump you and pound you into the bed, you know.”

So she had worn that silk nightie on purpose. It wasn’t just his imagination. 

“So you’re okay with just… messing around until I’m ready?” he clarified. It didn’t really seem fair when she’d waited so long already. 

“Of course. I want you to be fully comfortable with yourself and with me before we make love again.” 

He relaxed as the tension left his body. “Thank you.”

“But I do have one request,” she said as she cupped his cheek. “Will you tell me what’s on your mind? Something’s troubling you, I can tell.”

“Well, if I’m being completely honest, part of what I’m worried about is that I  _ am _ back to myself again.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she said, searching his face for answers. 

“Well, what if it is? I’d be blind if I didn’t notice how much danger and risk turns you on. You like a good rush of adrenaline, and sleeping with me when I still had all that darkness in me… it gave you a huge thrill and turned you on like crazy, didn’t it?”

She shook her head. “No,  _ you  _ gave me that thrill and turned me on like crazy, and it wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t trust you.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “Besides, who says we have to stop doing the things we did before? If anything, we can be even more adventurous now. And our list still has a lot of things left on it…” she trailed off with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

He smiled. He could see now that his fears that he wouldn’t be enough were ill-founded. Kairi still wanted him; no, she dreamed of being with him as he truly was. He had nothing to fear; she didn’t prefer the darkness, she wanted  _ him.  _ He was the one who she desired and lusted after and longed for, and if anything, getting his heart back and being freed of the unnatural darkness that had made its home inside him for so long made her want him all the more. 

“I’d be happy to go back to our adventurous ways once we’re both feeling up to it,” he said, “but first, I… I need to feel close to you, more than anything.”

“Of course,” she said softly. “And I’d like to start by showing you how much I adore you,” she murmured as her hand slid lower. “I want you to feel comfortable in your own skin again.”

“I’d like that, yeah.” 

One hand pulled his boxers down and her other hand gently grasped his dick. Sure, she’d touched him yesterday, but that was to clean him. This, this was all for his pleasure. A shudder ran through his body as she stroked him. He could see now that the darkness hadn’t enhanced his senses; if anything, it had dulled them. It had stopped him from feeling fully connected to Kairi and fully connected to his own body. Now that the unnatural darkness was out of the way, it was like he was experiencing Kairi’s touch for the first time again. 

She noticed too. “You’re more sensitive,” she noted matter-of-factly as she stroked him just right, eliciting a series of moans and whimpers from him. 

“Yeah, I know,” he muttered, his face and chest flushed. “With how I am now, I wouldn’t last ten seconds inside of you.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’m flattered you want me so badly.”

“Still, I’d like to build up a little more endurance before I try,” he said with a chuckle, trying desperately not to moan again. 

“There are ways we can arrange that,” she said, her eyes sparkling. 

He gulped as she kept stroking him. The moan had died in his throat, replaced with a whimper instead. How much was he about to get teased? And how mercilessly?

She grinned mischievously. “Don’t worry, I won’t be too mean today. I just really missed playing with my cock.” 

He whimpered more loudly this time, and his dick was hard in her grasp. She giggled and leaned down to kiss it, and he about died. 

“I told you you’re mine, didn’t I?” she said with a sly smile. “I’m just claiming what already belongs to me.” She kept stroking him expertly and staring into his eyes. “You know you get turned on when I remind you of that.” 

“I do.” 

“Then I’ll keep doing it. I love driving you wild, I missed this so much—”

“I did too.” 

She repositioned herself so she could go down on him more easily, then continued what she had started. He was in heaven as she focused on him completely, as she gave him her full attention and made sure every stroke and lick and kiss was exquisite. He rested his hand in her hair and gently massaged her head to show her how much this meant to him, how good her mouth and hands felt and how wonderful he was feeling. 

At one point she looked up at him, and the love in her eyes, the tender affection as she gazed up into his mixed with the very physical nature of what she was doing for him, would forever stay with him. Here she was, her red hair tousled and her full lips wrapped around his dick with his hand resting on her head, joined with him in an act so giving it made his heart swell, and here she was to stay. 

“Kairi,” he choked out as he stroked her hair. He’d hardly dared to hope this would happen again, and he felt like the luckiest man alive now that it was. 

She tapped him three times, their code for “I love you,” then really amped up her efforts till he was moaning and squirming. And she didn’t stop, either. He felt himself getting closer and closer, and it was like she was waiting for him to come, excited and wound up and eagerly anticipating his release as she pleased him more enthusiastically than she ever had before. 

“Kai—”

She was stroking and sucking and licking the exact way she knew would give her what she wanted from him. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before he was going over the edge and filling her mouth and throat with his release. He groaned as she kept her mouth around him and took everything he gave her, heightening his pleasure and showing him that yes, she still accepted him. Even this part of him. Especially this part of him. Watching her lick and lap up everything like she was hungry for more put the last of his doubts and insecurities to rest. She loved him and she wanted him, and never had that been more obvious than it was now. 

When she was satisfied, she gently kissed his dick one more time and then crawled up into his open arms to cuddle with him. 

“You taste better now,” she said with a smile, then licked the last of his come off her lips and hummed happily. 

“I do?”

“Mm-hmmm. I don’t really know how to describe it, but there’s definitely a difference. I’ll be playing with my cock a lot more now for sure.” 

“Your cock, huh?” he said, grinning as he tried to hide how much he loved it when she called it that now. 

“Yes, my cock,” she teased as she grasped it and played with it. “I think it’s a little tired right now though. Must’ve worn it out.”

“Can confirm, you drained me dry.” He slipped his hand between her legs. “But you are anything but dry.”

She giggled and pressed her thighs together, trapping his hand there. “Uh-huh. Now what are you gonna do about it?” 

“I haven’t had breakfast yet, and I’m getting kind of hungry—”

“How would you like your breakfast?” 

“In multiple servings,” he said.

She grabbed his head and pushed it lower and lower till her scent filled his nose and drove him crazy. He grabbed her legs and parted them, then dove in and started licking. Oh fuck she was wet, and her taste was as wonderful as he remembered. He’d missed this, missed showing her how much he loved her, missed getting to be a part of her pleasure and witnessing how incredible her body was. Maybe he should be embarrassed by how arousing this was for him, by all the grunts and moans he was making, but Kairi was enjoying herself too much for him to care. He made out with her lips and sucked on her clit and fucked her with his tongue, and her soft cries of pleasure and quiet moans were the best kind of reward. When he spared a moment to glance up into her eyes, the look they shared was too much for her to handle. She burst into tears and cried his name as she started shaking and rocking against him.

She was coming already? Just from looking in his eyes? And she was crying too? He was so confused by all of this… until she grabbed his head and shoved him back where she wanted him to be. He made sure to push her as high as possible so that her climax would last for as long as possible until she was spent, gasping for breath as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Kairi?” he asked softly. She pulled him up into her arms and held him and wept, and he did his best to comfort her.

“What’s wrong?” he said at last, when she’d calmed down some. 

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then—”

“Darling, look at me, please—”

He pulled away a little and did as she asked, cupping her face so he could catch her tears.

“Your eyes,” she explained. “They’re so blue. So full of love for me, so full of desire… I dreamed of seeing them like that again, but I didn’t dare hope—”

“I’m back,” he said softly as he stroked her face. “I’m me. I’m free of the darkness forever.” 

She kissed him, softly and tenderly at first, then passionately and with abandon. She couldn’t get enough of him, and he couldn’t get enough of her. They were under the same spell, and it drove him to want to please her. And so he offered to do it again for her, shyly asking if she had any preferences as to positions. 

“Is it okay if I… sit on your face?” she asked, so hesitant compared to how she used to be. 

“Of course. The pleasure is mine.” 

She relaxed and smiled, and he returned her smile. Making up for lost time, getting reacquainted with each other’s bodies, sharing his heart with her in a way he hadn’t been able to before during their lovemaking—it was way better than he could ever put into words.

As she enjoyed grinding against his face and the pleasures of his “expert tongue,” as she called it, it struck him how much fun this was. How much joy was in his heart, now that he was free from his darkness and shame. How he was finally able to love her and share that love with her without anything getting in the way. And he could notice the difference for her, too. She became more and more unguarded till she was smiling and giggling as they gazed into each other’s eyes and he got her off with his tongue. 

When she finally extracted herself from him and cuddled up next to him, he was grinning like an idiot as he put his hands behind his neck and sighed. 

“What?” she asked as she rested her hand on his chest. 

“Breakfast was very, very good. Very satisfying, best I’ve had yet…” 

She gave him a playful nudge, and her cute expression combined with the affectionate gesture made him giggle, which made her giggle, till they were tickling each other and laughing and squirming all over the bed. She wound up on top of him and looked into his eyes with a lovestruck expression on her face, then leaned down and kissed him. 

“Darling, I have to say… I don’t think I can get enough of you,” she told him very matter of factly as she drew swirls on his chest with her finger. “You’ve satisfied me twice already, but I’m already craving more.” 

“Who said I was through with you?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “You can still move, and that means I’m not finished with you yet.”

She giggled and grabbed his hand again, then led it between her legs and started rocking against his fingers. “Good point. It isn’t over until my knight has to carry me around in his arms because my legs are jelly from his expert fingers and tongue.” 

“Exactly,” he murmured. “We’re not through for today yet. In fact, I think we’ve just begun.” 

She smiled and grabbed his dick, then started playing with it. “You can say that again,” she said, her eyes sparkling as they pleasured each other. “First one to fall asleep loses, and the winner gets to pick the next thing on our list to try.”

He kissed her and grinned. “You’re on.”

As they let loose and had fun with each other, he couldn’t help but think this was why he’d married her. They’d been through their share of sad times and serious times, yes, but they both still knew how to laugh and have fun with each other in spite of everything. Kairi had never lost her smile, and neither had he, and that was what he would always treasure in his heart. 

When they were both satisfied and content, they lay in each other’s arms as they tried to make sure the other person was the first to fall asleep. 

“Sora?” Kairi murmured sleepily, her head resting on his chest. He was running his hand through her hair the way he knew she liked it, and the blankets and sheets gathered around them and over them formed a cozy burrow. 

“Mhmm?”

“Love you.”

He had to pause for a moment to collect himself, his heart was so full. She was saying the words so easily now, like it was the most natural thing in the worlds. 

“Love you too, Kairi,” he said, then planted one last kiss on her head before realizing she was fast asleep. Grinning, he leaned back and sighed. Spending time with her was never gonna get old, and his cheeks flushed as he thought about all the wonderful things they’d done together this morning… and all the things they still wanted to do.

This was just the start of their next adventure, and he couldn’t wait to see where it would take them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings: Making out, touching, brief handjob, oral sex (blowjobs and cunnilingus), and fingering. Sora and Kairi also discuss Sora's insecurities.
> 
> Thank you for waiting patiently for this chapter! I really appreciate the supportive comments a number of you left me during my break. See you next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This fic is going to be a long one, so strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride! Updates will be every week on Sundays unless otherwise noted.
> 
> I tried to tag this thing as thoroughly as I could without going overboard, but I've probably missed some stuff. As a result, the tags will get updated accordingly as we go along. Obviously, this fic is not going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, as we're dealing with some pretty dark content. But hey, don't worry, there's plenty of fluff to make the darker stuff more palatable, because that's just how Sora and Kairi are. Many a day was spent arguing with them over scenes and character choices till I reluctantly gave in to their wishes, which, naturally, made the story better. 
> 
> Chapters with said dark content will include more details in the notes about the nature of what we're dealing with. And chapters with sexual content will also include more details in the notes, because if I tagged every variation of every sex act that will be in this fic, we really would be looking at a wall of tags. 
> 
> I think that about covers it! This story wouldn't be possible without the help of friends, and I'd like to give a shoutout to them here.
> 
> Ophelia, thank you for offering so much support and feedback and helping me brainstorm scenes. This story really wouldn't be the same without you, and I'm excited to finally be able to share it. I can't thank you enough for all your input and for keeping me going even through the dry spells. A big, big thank you for everything you've contributed to this story. 
> 
> Cat, thank you for always being willing to read whatever it was I had just written and giving me your insights about how the story was unfolding. You've always cheered me on and supported me, and your feedback is invaluable. Bouncing ideas off of you is always fun, and I know the story is better for your input.
> 
> Lily, thank you for being an amazing beta. You've spent so much time and effort helping me polish this story to be the best it can be, and words can't express how grateful I am for that. Your feedback is always what I need to hear, and I feel like I've really improved as a writer while working with you. You're awesome, and I'm so grateful to have met you. 
> 
> And to everyone else who's supported me with the writing of this story and helped flesh out the ideas that make it what it is - thank you. It's because of you it's getting shared.


End file.
